10 Things I’d Say to 15-Year-Old Me

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

You know what I love doing?

Looking back at old pictures from middle school/early high school.

I mean, the fashions, the hair styles, the flip phones, the boys I had crushes on. It is just a blast from the past.

And let’s be real, it wasn’t thaaat long ago. But given every twist and turn my life has taken thus far, it feels like a lot of life has been lived since then.


I developed anorexia when I was 16. And looking back and reflecting on those delicate and formative years, I can see traces of the disease creep in at various points in my adolescence.

I think we all have things on our hearts that -in hindsight- we wish we could say to our former selves. Nuggets of sage wisdom that could have been helpful.

So here’s 10 things I would say, given everything I know now. Things that recovered me would say to a budding young me, on the brink of succumbing to what would be a long battle with ED.


Dear Fifteen-Year-Old Me,

Freshman year can be a pretty scary time. New high school. Older boys. Drivers licenses. Changing bodies. Navigating it can be tough. So here’s a little help…

1. Relationships are important. Invest in the people who know who you really are, and love every quirk and imperfection. At a sleepover, if you can’t wear your retainer or walk around in sweats with them…reevaluate.


2. Mischa Barton from The OC is pretty awesome, but you don’t need a boy to rescue you. And while we’re at it: stop idolizing her body type. You’re not 5’10.” You never will be. And  being waif-thin is not something to gamble your life for.

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3. Everyone’s bodies change at different paces. No, your body may not look like your voluptuous friend, but that doesn’t make you any less beautiful, or any less worthy of being loved. Just be patient. Bikinis aren’t everything. And being able to fill out a Victoria’s Secret bikini isn’t the “be all, end all.” Nor is having your ribs show.

4. Boys will say a lot of things. Good and bad. But never let that determine how you feel about yourself. Or how you dress. Or wear your hair. Or who you’re friends with.


5. Knowing the dance to High School Musical is great, but that’s not real life. High school is not idealistic, and boys won’t serenade you like Zac Efron. Don’t expect them to.

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6. Don’t dismiss people because they belong to a certain “group.” People are people. And they can surprise you. But you have to give them a chance. And the “cool” table, is full of just people.

7. Just have a damn beer.

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8. Getting good grades is important, but not at the expense of your mental health. Get a B. You will be okay. Perfection is stupid.

9. Don’t do the beauty pageant. Just don’t do it. There’s more to you than your outer beauty. Being judged by how you look in a bikini is frankly stupid. You are so much more than that. Oh yeah – and stop going to the tanning bed. Like, immediately. Your skin will thank you later.

10. You are enough. Just as you are. You don’t have to be the lead in every school play. You don’t have to play varsity sports. You don’t have to sit at the “cool” table. You don’t have to get straight A’s. You don’t have to wear a size 0. You are enough. Just by being you. You don’t have to earn your worth. Your worth was established when Jesus went to the cross.


11. Let people love you. The real you. You don’t have to put on the air of not caring what other people think. You have feelings and emotions, and that’s important. Honor them. Feel them. Share them. Your heart is a beautiful temple. Protect it, but don’t be afraid to show it.

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High school is kinda like a big game of poker. Everybody has insecurities. Everybody’s in the same boat, a little bit over their head, just trying to figure it out. And everybody’s trying to put on their best poker face that they’ve got it all together. Spoiler alert: they don’t.


The sooner you realize that you are beautiful just as you are, and that your worth doesn’t come from any of these superficial things, the more abundantly you will live.

Respect and accept your body. Listen to your parents. Stop striving for perfection.

You are enough. Right now.

Love,

Your older and wiser self 😉

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

298 thoughts on “10 Things I’d Say to 15-Year-Old Me”

  2. Your advice is wise. I hope you find it an anchor in life. Though it seems many years away for you, it goes without saying that when we get old we lose the beauty we once had. Through my aging process I learned & advised my daughter, when she doesn’t like a photo of herself put it away for five-years then look at it again. You’ll question why you ever thought so critically of yourself and learn to appreciate what you do have “today.” Good wishes.

    1. Hi friend! Thank you for this heartfelt reflection. This is really wonderful insight. Thanks for that. You’re right-we spend so much time being critical that we don’t celebrate who we really are! Thanks for reading! Xox

  3. Wow, just awesome and amazing advice! I love especially the quotes on vulnerability, and being a masterpiece. Having a beer sounds good too! Just one though. Smiles.

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! Yes! And I’m definitely not condoning underage drinking, or abusing acohol-just encouraging the uptight me to loosen up a little! 🙂 thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

  7. Hey my beautiful friend hope you are well. the relationship part is so important I have realised this myself, I have so many people in my life and spending time is the best thing ever. of course my relationship with my god my Jesus is most important to me 🙂 I hope you like my new blog 😀

  8. Beautybeyondbones, so nice to hear from you again! I really enjoyed this last. The “big game of poker” killed it for me, and that is what I meant in my post about sharing my blog with “the less said the better”. My blog is like my secret weapon to work out my insecurities while appearing together which I am sometimes so not! Thanks for your “like” and great job on your blog.

  9. Thank for these important words! They mean so much to me! They have blessed me greatly. I wish I knew these truths in high school and college! I look forward to reading more of your posts!

  10. And, considering the evidence of this blog, one more:

    Every human flaw matures to beauty through love. Be patient – let love do its work on you.

    And remembering Cain: yes, EVERY human flaw.

  12. Great post…especially the Mischa Barton part. Her character was such a game player. NEVER want to be like Mischa Barton. LOL By the way, I was 5’10” and skinny as a rail…and people still make fun of you when you’re tall and thin. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. God bless.

    1. Hi Lisa! Aw thank you so much. That’s great insight on Mischa. It was really interesting to watch her recently on Dancing with the Stars. You’re right – we’ve got to love the bodies we’ve been blessed with! Hugs and love xox

  13. You should put out a booklet, in HS sections of bookstores, that outline each one of these. They are insightful, truthful, powerful, and wonderful. They are totally things HS students need to know. <3 <3 <3

  15. Love this! I’m working on a letter to my teenage self for a workshop for teens next month – so this was a great read. I agree with most things you said 🙂 Thank you for the “masterpiece and work in progress” idea. So true. Oh, if we could go back to high school knowing what we know now…wait, I wouldn’t. Not in a million years 😉

      1. I have a 15 year old daughter, and I have always done my best to show her the truths of life so that she makes informed choices. If I could, I would put her in a glass bubble and spare her from all pain, but pain does have a purpose in life too. How would we learn? You paid a price for your wisdom, but thank God and, non-coincidentally, by His very own design and plan, you stand to testify of how He spared you and rescued you during this process of learning and transformation. Keep up the good work! 🙂

      2. Thank you for this. You’re so right-if we go through something, there was a purpose for it. Though I’m not thankful for having had anorexia, I AM thankful for the lessons I had to learn the hard way. You sound like a great mom. God is good. Hugs and love to you xox

      3. I used to wonder why I have a child with autism (my youngest one, a boy), but I do see after 6 years since his diagnosis, 9 years since his birth, I’m much better off for it. I’ve had to change my many wimpy ways. Still working on it. God knows what He’s doing. 🙂
        You are a brave young woman! ☺️👍

      4. Thank you for sharing this. Yes, God does know what He’s doing. And there’s such comfort in that. Sending you s big hugs through the screen! It’s been great “chatting” with you tonight xox ☺️

  26. wow bbb, what an awesome post. I agreed with all ten things, I am wondering how you make your pictures? Are you going to follow up with the 10 things to say to future self? Did you get the acting gig?

    1. Thank you Lyndsay! That really means a lot:) I do make my pictures! It a bit of a labor of love; but I have a computer program that allows for font overlay. I don’t know yet! I may do that. That’s a great idea. And I didn’t get the lead part I auditioned for, but I did get a supporting role! Thanks for reading and for your questions! Hugs and love xox

  27. “Size 0” should not be what women strive for… “Size 0”, in reality, is the measure of the IQs of Madison Avenue admen and adwomen who narrowly define and perpetuate the totally unrealistic, unattainable “perfect”, Barbie Doll, body image… one, which no woman should ever strive for. Forgive my appraisal of Ad agency personnel for being so harsh… but the damage they do both maddens and saddens me. Women are literally dying to be thin. Again… your intellect, wisdom and writing talent has wowed me! Keep up the good work… and…. most importantly… keep on being you!

    1. Hi Tom, thank you for this! I can feel your passion behind your words. I appreciate that concern-because you’re right-the standards are unrealistic. Not even the models themselves look like that-they’ve been photoshopped! Thanks again for reading! Hugs and love xox

  28. I’d say that older bad boy seems dangerous, exciting, he looks cool he’s friendly funny and really kind but he’s exactly how u think of him a bad boy. He’ll get you into trouble in the future dont date him don’t do it !!

      1. It feels like I’m doing that all the time. It’s like a black hole trying to suck me down. But I hold firm–No, Mrs. I-love-to-wear-tight-sweaters, you may not flirt with me! No, mr. Too-cool-for-school, I don’t want to double date in your hot tub! I dunno, I could do without it, myself.

      5. I had the gall to make a comment to some old classmates (FB), and there were three that weren’t contented until they had ripped me to shreds. It was not a pleasant experience. I am so glad that high school is past. I guess that I should have just said, Diddo, but I got all wordy again.

      7. Yea, you’re right. It was unmerited. I don’t really mind, though. What they say or think about me doesn’t make me any less or any more of the person I am. I can still whoop any of their kesiters in a race, and it’s been that way since I was the designated merry-go-round pusher in first grade. One girl got thrown off because of the inertia. Now I have to stutter to slow myself down. It works out, though.

  31. If only I could speak to a younger me, things would be different know. But would that be a good thing? Definitely in some ways, but I might now be a less caring person.

    Maybe, the experience has given you something, I don’t know.

    1. Hey Harry! Definitely some the ought provoking things to think about. Yeah I’m definitely not who I was. An interesting thought indeed. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs xox

  34. For some reason besides running a gillion races, HS was a blur for me. I was not allowed out after dark, never a party but I had 11th grade friends in 7th and was Varsity in 3 in the same season. I had aches and pains, a bully or two that after class I would have a little talk with. Girls, I had ones 4-8 years older and I was a gambler, I had my own money, had good grades and dressed well as my parents stopped paying for anything for me at 5th grade. They did not pay for my class picture or ring but my sister thinks I had it good, when I was treated badly by all of my family and the one thing I would say is do what you want and do not believe in false promises or plan to have you and are HS gf go to school in the same general area out of state.

    1. Thank you for sharing this. It’s always Amazing to think of how everything we’ve gone through has shaped who we are today. I’d say who you are is pretty swell:) sending hugs and love my friend xox

      1. I appreciate it and sure do need it and reciprocate it. I am sadly known to some as a bad person, putting it mildly. But they have issues. 🙂

      3. I’m trying. I need more work, maybe even off site and for good money. I get possible gigs for acting that are scams and until recently I was stuck at home and now I am to secure my belongings until my sister leaves here. But she wants her security but her and her bf have done a whole lot to me. I could use a hiatus.

  35. This is a great post. I wish I could tell my high school self the same things. It has been a little over ten years since then for me, but I was never part of the popular crowd. The awkward years of middle school and high school were rough on me, but I love how God can use those years to teach us about finding our self-worth in Him. It can still be hard to remember even after all those years though. This is a good reminder to find our worth in Jesus whether we are in high school or a few years removed.

    http://www.courtneyleighonline.com/

  36. lots of good messages here. Being a teen can be so hard–its nice to receive hugs and good advice every now and then. The only thing I would have added (in a message to myself) is to put Christ first in your life. Everyone else is secondary, and that includes grades and boys. By the way, thanks for liking my blog.

  41. I agree with all of this. It’s strange because I was fifteen like six years ago and in such a short time so many things have changed. My priorities, my friends, my body. Great article!

  46. I’m a little late to this “party”, and I’m not a girl, but I just want to include my kudos for a some terrific advice. I think it should be handed to every young girl on a small card they can carry in their phone case. I grew up in the 50’s and was terrified of girls, so relationships for me wasn’t an issue. But I matured, married the love of my life (from high school) and celebrated 48 years together last month. We have an exceptional granddaughter who lives by the rules you stated and I gotta tell you it works. Thanks for your sage advice.

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