Truth Serum

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I learned something about myself this weekend.

Allow me to set the stage.

Saturday night. Out with friends. Well, correction…I was out with the guys. Because all my female friends decided that Netflix was more appealing than a gorgeous, open air rooftop bar in NYC.

#NoJudgement…To each his own.

But there maaaay have been some potential love interests in the group…perhaps I’ve blogged about them before…a lady never tells.

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JK…I always doo000 🙂

Anyways. I’m going to say something and I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.

I am not a lush. But, that being said, I do drink alcohol socially. I know my limit…which is very minuscule. So I do not imbibe in more than 2 vodka/sodas. Because…well…dignity.

But that night, I had 2 drinks. No more. No less.

And allow me to just interject…there’s a reason that they call alcohol a truth serum. Especially for me. Over the course of the night, I perhaps confessed my love for George W. Bush. My secrets to preventing wardrobe malfunctions. And my irrational fear of seaweed.

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But I digress.

Eventually, the topic of conversation drifted…to Bumble.

Yes…the online dating app.

Which, as you know…I have recently joined….and matched with several of the gentlemen I was with that evening…it’s a running joke.

But the conversation quickly turned to why I’m not dating anyone. We had been talking about some of the guys’ horrendous online dating stories and the tables then turned to why I am still single.

And perhaps I was feeling uncomfortable being the center of attention with all these eligible bachelors, or perhaps it was my liquor talking, but I involuntarily blurted out, “Oh I’ve got a lot of baggage!”

200w

 Facepalm.

I mean, seriously Caralyn?

Holy camoley. Way to be smooth, there, sister!

And I mean, the guys were chuckling about it and laughing it off as kind of a “ok sureee” kind of response, but falling asleep that night, that moment kept playing over and over again in my head.

Does that ever happen to you? A moment or an interaction just nags at the lining of your stomach. Makes your throat tense up?

Well that was me. Not sleeping, and freaking out about making a total and complete nincompoop out of myself.

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But the following morning, sitting in church and – I hate to say it – zoning out during the homily, I found my mind again replaying that conversation.

And it dawned on me. Is that really what I think of myself? That I’m just a walking mess of undesirable issues?  

And sitting there in the pew, I took a good, long, introspective look at myself.

And spoiler alert…my findings were not pretty.

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I’ve always said that eating disorders are never about the actual weight. That the weight loss is merely a symptom of an internal battle. A manifestation of something bigger.

Something that you have come to believe about yourself that is false. A Lie.

And to truly heal, you have to identify “The Lie” and replace it with the Truth.

And it’s different for everyone.

For me, “The Lie” was that I was a burden.

Fast forward to NYC on a Sunday in 2016, all those years later, I realized something: Is my single-ness simply another manifestation of “The Lie” that crippled me so long ago?

Am I afraid to burden a potential boyfriend with my baggage? 

Aye yi yi. The plot thickens.

Out of focus lights

I told you at the beginning of the month that I was actually going to go out on a date with a guy this month, and here it is, September 26, and I have yet to do that.

So, I’m sorry.

But.

Coming to this realization this morning, it has awakened in me a new perspective.

And here it is:

I need to redefine my “baggage.”

I need to shift my thinking. Because what I consider baggage…i.e.having overcome anorexia, still battling self-worth issues, being a virgin, having to eat a specific way to keep my Ulcerative Colitis in remission — those things that I see as “baggage” in my eyes, are actually things that make me who I am. They have shaped me.

And dare I say it, someone is going to think that’s beautiful.

I just have to let someone in. Allow someone to see that. Unpack my baggage, if you will.

Because, I know that we all have quote-unquote “baggage” in our lives. And thinking about all of the people in my life…it’s their “baggage” that truly makes me love them all the more.

It gives them depth. Gives them beauty. It makes me appreciate who they are and how they got that way.

These things that are not-so-lovely about my past – they don’t make me a burden. They make me real. Honest. And perhaps, beautiful.

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So who knows…the month isn’t over yet. And thanks to my guy friends who took over my Bumble profile on Saturday night, I have about 25 new matches to sort through….

Anyway…

Hope your Saturday wasn’t quite as mortifying as mine 🙂

See ya Thursday.

xox

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280 thoughts on “Truth Serum”

  1. Wouldn’t it be funny if you being open and sharing was exactly what makes someone brave enough to ask you out? You never know if there is someone in your life right now who feels a connection but could be scared….

    I like what you said about holding on to the lies we tell ourselves, we do it for comfort or even pride sometimes, but as long as we do there will be a barrier to our healing.

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha hey there friend! You know what, that actually doesn’t seem too far fetched! And actually, since this convo, one of the guys has–shall we say–stepped up his game a little bit! Haha you’re right-we’ve got to let those things go and claim the truth! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh man, can i relate! Then again, i’ve been battling self esteem issues for the better part of 20 years when it comes to dating and the opposite sex in general. I am always afraid of really opening up and sharing my loves, fears, annoyances, etc because of my crippling fear of rejection. So, i suppose that’s my baggage. I am a firm believer, however, that God has a plan for all of us. We’ll find the right person for us when God sees it fit for it to happen. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This is definitely something I needed to read! Love it. The last few days I’ve been struggling with thoughts of not being worth a meaningful relationship and being extremely insecure. I, like you and I’m sure most people, have “baggage” and getting back out on the dating scene after 9 years is quite intimidating. So thankful to have come across your post this morning!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Faith! Oh I’m so glad it resonated with you! Thank you for your kind words. I’m sorry you’ve been feeling that recently, but you know what? You HAVE put yourself out there and I am so inspired by that. That takes a lot of courage and is something to celebrate:) you go, my friend! Haha sending big hugs xox

      Like

      1. Thank you so much!! Good to know I’m not alone in all this! 😉 You are right, this is an opportunity for me to grow secure in myself, as scary as this may be. God bless you lady! Xoxo

        Like

  4. Being our authentic self is difficult for we believe that no one will love our perceived flaws. Those much wiser than me say that what we perceive as our weaknesses are often gifts that we can share with others. It’s all in our perspective. Be well and be inspired to take a chance. Namaste.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Before Communion this morning I read an old poem I had written and offered to the Lord. As I read it, I thought of your post and which touched me and so I’ll send it your way. I called it Now for Eternity.

    All days have led to this day.
    Yesterdays march up to the edge in Time,
    But cannot enter upon my Now.

    As precursors they stand,
    Peering onto this Today,
    Blind as bats.
    Their edges approach
    But halt at the Present.

    Here I reign with my will.
    If all my mistakes
    Shout for change,
    Am I now the fool
    Who fails to learn?

    With the sun,
    I am begun.
    Eternity beckons me,
    Where Time cannot go,
    Invites, “Come.”

    He, Who sails on Eternity’s Wing,
    Would be my Mender,
    Not in a breaking of the Past,
    But a knitting of it,
    A seamless cloth,
    As His very own.

    The morrow begins as a Way I choose;
    Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
    Are gift to my being,
    And beginning in this Now,
    I am His.

    In Christ,
    Joann

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I really loved this post. Loved the honesty and self-evaluation that brought you to a very healthy realization. Who are are as individuals makes this world such an interesting and lovely place.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. –“And dare I say it, someone is going to think that’s beautiful.”

    Amen! I’ve already thought that. I think any worthy man reading your blog and getting to know you should see your struggles with ED and UC, and your willingness to be open about them in order to help others with similar struggles, have refined your soul like silver tried in the fire seven times, and given you an inner strength and character that make you more attractive, not less. And very easy on the eyes if you don’t mind my saying.
    If I weren’t already with a woman I’m crazy about, I would ask if you were open to older men 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  10. What is so awesome about this post is that it is a reminder that your baggage is not what defines you. I work with college students and every single one of them has issues that are really hard for them to face and deal with. Your post is a reminder that even as you overcome challenges, life can still be a struggle and a fight, but it doesn’t have to define you.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw thank you so much:) what a powerful line of work you’re in. It sounds like you’re really making a difference:) and such an awesome perspective too. No, those thugs definitely don’t have to define me! Woo! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  11. “..sitting in church and – I hate to say it – zoning out during the homily…” If it’s any consolation, I have so been there and, unfortunately, done that.

    In fact, I came up with the idea for my onceuponasundaymorn blog in church and I just wanted to rush home and start working on it. Of course, mass hadn’t even started yet. 😦 Then my family and I attended the church picnic afterwards. 😦 😦 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Hi! I wanted to tell you that I love your blog. I was thinking of you the other day and wanted to send you a copy of my book, In This Life. I think it is something that you may enjoy.

    And whether or not you are interested, I want you to know that you are beautiful and an inspiration to young girls your age!

    Christine

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw thank you so much Christine! Oh my gosh you’re an author! What an awesome accomplishment 🙂 congratulations! And seriously what a kind thing to say:) hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  13. You have so many wonderful things about you, its hard to count. We all have those things we wish hadn’t happened, our could have been different. We need to shine our lights and put those things behind as best as we can. Sometimes they re-surface and we have to respect that they happened, and try our best to get past their mulling in our heads. You are such a light, beautiful and bright! x0x0x0x0 Love always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww thank you Miguelito! ☺️☺️☺️ you are seriously so kind all the time. Your comments always bring a smile to my face! You’re right-let’s shine those lights! Hope your weekend is off to a great start! Big big hugs to you friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. So I came across your blog today at work, lol silly me should have been focusing on work but I was par oozing the interweb, but I have to tell you that I started reading it and could not stop. I feel that everybody has some sort of baggage as you say but that’s all good and makes us the people that we are. Life is crazy and has ways of making people feel so many different ways. I understand how it feels to get inside your own head because I do that a lot! You have a great talent in your writing, and I look forward to reading more! Stay beautiful inside and out and remember life is all about the experience…

    Liked by 2 people

  16. It’s perfectly okay to have baggage and you are so right, someday you find someone who is willing to work through the issues with you and they’ll have some of their own too.
    Stay strong!
    -Carly

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Love this! Very well said. God made you who you are on purpose to touch the lives He already has planned. So glad you are truly beginning to see the beauty how awesome that you were able to hear the whisper of the Holy Spirit as He revealed that you thought of your baggage as too much and now you are opening to all God has in store for you!

    Liked by 2 people

  20. This resonated a lot with me. Funnily enough, before my boyfriend and I started dating and were just friends, we had a conversation about how we each felt… unfit… for a long-term relationship. I was dealing with a lot of self-esteem issues from my previous relationship… feeling (like you) as if I were a burden. Like I was difficult, maybe impossible. He had other different (but maybe also not so different) insecurities.

    We’ve been dating 3+ years now, and I still have some issues. So does he. But such a huge part of it is just being with someone who allows you to have those issues… who allows you to be imperfect.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Great post. I love your sense of humor. Brene Brown in her book, “Daring Greatly,” describes your feelings as “feeling like I’m not enough.” I think you would love, love, love her writing.

    It’s fun to share you journey and watch your balance between awareness and acceptance.

    Greg Johnson
    Professional Speaker and Advisor
    New Era Financial Strategies
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    2411 San Antonio Crescent W
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    California Insurance License #0C83145

    Please consider the surrounding environment before printing this e-mail. This message is intended for the recipient only and is not meant to be forwarded or distributed in any other format.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. This was a really nice read. You have a wicked sense of humor at times that I really like. With your history, the fact that you can be self-deprecating seems like a great sign of strength and recovery.
    And since you are so honest, I will be too.
    I have often wondered at how consistently “likes” from you have shown up on my own blog. With your deep religious convictions and my self-professed heathenism, it always struck me as a bit odd. I wondered if algorithms were at work. I’d love to hear from you personally at some point.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much:) haha a wicked sense of humor haha you from Boston?!! 😆😉😂yeah I like to support people who put themselves out there on the blogosphere. No algorithms here! I guess I like to consider myself an encourager:) glad you stopped by! Big hugs xox

      Like

  23. Happy to stumble upon your story! (And thanks for liking two of my posts — I shouldn’t have ignored you the first time!) I left a long-term relationship when I moved 12 time zones away, and since then my dating life has only been a series of rejections, on both the receiving and giving ends… mostly receiving. Sometimes it takes tremendous effort not to get discouraged, especially when you feel at odds with the dating culture around you, but self-love is always worth pursuing — and we all struggle with it. Best wishes, looking forward to more of your story!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Only the truth can set you free, Caralyn 🙂 Be who you are, be real, with the wholeness of your story. With all your baggage, with your scars and wounds. God loves you as you are, not as you should be, beause he is Love and if a man truly loves you, he loves you with the same love. You are the holy and beloved Child of God, you are an extension of his Divine Love. The right partner will mirror that to you, be simply open for that. Nothing in this world can ever change your True Self, that you shall forever Be in the eyes of Jesus.

    Be blessed and stay true,
    Mark

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Yes, I AM 😛 as a member of the heavenly Air Force, I would prefer to walk together with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light. That kind of friend I am.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Maybe you like that poem from Oriah Mountain Dreamer…. “The Invitation” …. it is one of the most beautiful poems, in my opinion … and it is a great description of true love.

        ”
        It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

        It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

        It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

        I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

        I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

        It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

        I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

        I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

        It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

        It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

        It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

        I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
        …
        ”
        http://www.oriahmountaindreamer.com/

        “I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.”

        THIS is one of the most important experiences in this life…. don’t run away from it…

        Your wounds are where the light shines through. And love is a power that guides you from wounds to wonders, from fears to miracles, from tears to triumph. There is beauty in our brokenness. The hell is a salt desert of unshed tears. The Heaven of Love is different: you are called with all your tears, brokenness and misery. You can be real there.

        Without exception.

        Not only your beautiful smile.
        Not only your Light.
        Even your darkness and your inner abyss. Love only desires to embrace your wholeness, who you truly are.

        Liked by 1 person

      5. And I thank you for being simply you. I am grateful that you are alive, that you are who you are and called to be.

        Thank you for your honesty and passion and authenticity.

        Like

  26. Our baggage is tough stuff. It’s hard to put down. We carry it like the load it is, weighing us down, causing us to see ourselves under the burden. The good news is we can set it down and walk away but for some of us, it’s a process.

    Before my wife and I were engaged, I told her I wouldn’t marry anyone if I didn’t know the worst of the worst about them. How’s that for a proposal? Tell me your deepest, darkest, nastiest secrets and I’ll tell you mine and then we can talk about marriage. I’m such a romantic!

    We shared the things that have left big scars. We shared our greatest fears that someone might find out about ourselves. She knows what drives me to sin like nothing else. I know her deepest hurt that still follows her today. AND, she is still beautiful in my eyes. Broken. Beaten up. Emotionally scarred. Spiritually scared. And she is still BEAUTIFUL.

    We shared the deepest and darkest and came out of it with a “yeah, I understand and I have empathy for you” attitude and it has made the challenges of our marriage easy to overcome. We know we are imperfect. We know we still have wounds and bags that hurt us from time to time. We also know it is God that leads us away from all of that and closer to each other as we journey to be closer to Him.

    Keep on moving…you are headed in the right direction.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. What a beautiful love story you and your wife have. So inspiring. Thanks again for the encouragement! Here’s to being vulnerable and sharing our baggage! Hugs and love xox

      Like

    2. “Tell me your deepest, darkest, nastiest secrets and I’ll tell you mine and then we can talk about marriage” ~ wow, that’s powerful… and yes that sounds like Love… love embraces the whole. The ocean embraces all waves and not only the surface.

      Like

  27. Okay little sis here’s my take. When you find the “love” of your life, the one God brings your way, all the baggage in the universe won’t keep him away from you! How do I know? I fell in love with the most beautiful and smart woman I ever saw when I was 17, still married and she had serious baggage and you know what? I had baggage too. Most people, if they’ll be honest, have baggage.

    In His Love,
    Bro Stef 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Ps. If a man will not accept you as you are, he’s not the one for you! You are created by God and you are special…the right mane will see you as God does. 😇💕👍

        Like

  29. I’ve missed reading your blog! (The mommy life has kept me busy, but I actually have some free time tonight… So here I am)! 🙂
    We ALL have things in our past… We all have some sort of baggage that shaped us, strengthened us, and purified us through fire. You’re right, it makes us real. And that helped to mold us into who we are today.
    You may have had a very difficult past, BUT you are helping so many others by sharing your story. So I maybe don’t see it as baggage… I see it as a victory that God helped you achieve. It does make you beautiful!
    Any guy would be lucky to have you. But definitely wait for the right one, because you deserve someone special!! xoxo

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hey Nicole! aw, i’m so glad you’ve got some free time and that you stopped by! what a kind thing to say – a victory with God. I’m going to take that and claim it 🙂 thanks for making me smile 🙂 hope you and your little one are doing well tonight! big hugs xox

      Like

  30. I absolutely love your writing! You have a great sense of humor, and your posts always brighten my day! The things about yourself are truly beautiful, and please know that you are a strong survivor. Eating disorders are extremely hard to overcome, in fact, it takes pure strength to overcome it. God is using your story to help young people find the strength to overcome it.
    Any guy would be lucky to have you, and I find you strong for waiting on the right one. I’m still waiting on the right one. So know you’re not the only 20+ year old virgin. God bless you, and I hope you have a nice day.
    Jayme

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Jayme! Oh my gosh thank you so much! I’m so glad they brighten your day! That makes me smile:) yes, God is good and I trust that he has the right guys out there for both you and I! Big hugs to you friend xox

      Like

  34. Surprising what we say sometimes isn’t it, Caralyn? 🙂 Better is that you followed the thought to the root. Burden. Now only you know why that term hits a never in you, but realizing that as the root is a big insight.

    You made me think about my label. Yes, I have baggage too. Lots of it. A big piece is the divorce– because only clearly major league-leading flawed people are divorced. And I battle that every time I say it.

    But if you are a burden, remember that you are His burden, and His burden is light. As you would then be. And you share your light with all of us.
    Keep going.
    And tomorrow is your last day for a date 😛

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Yep – I’m with you on this one… We sometimes need to open the bag, take some old clothes out to allow room for some new ones.. And – the alcohol – yes that one too.. I once had just a couple more than my usual 1 or 2 infrequent (seriously I’m not a good drinker..) glasses of cocktail and ended up dragging my husband (very reluctantly) on an adventure whilst on holiday one night, to the top of a mountain in Turkey… long story and not a pleasant ending.. He refuses to buy me alcohol now! hehe xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Wendy! You’re right – life is like closet maintenance 🙂 old stuff out, new stuff in! haha oh my gosh, it sounds like you and i are kindred souls ! i always love a good adventure 🙂 especially after a little liquid encouragement hehe my type of adventure usually involves karaoke though 🙂 hehe hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fabulous – ages apart but together in heart.. Love it… hiccuuppp.. oh oh – where will I drag him to next! I think I may write a post on the impact of alcohol.. hehe! I bet those karaoke bars don’t know what’s hit them.. Here’s to ‘great adventures’.. Cheers! x

        Like

  37. I get very, very quiet when I have had too much to drink. I don’t like that feeling of being influenced by alcohol and so I am also very careful even though I enjoy the occasional drink.

    Anyway, I am close to twice your age and so you won’t find my profile on Bumble looking for dates (never even heard of it). Still, please allow me to just say that you are beautiful – both inside and out – evident to anyone who visits this blog. God bless.

    Don’t forget to ask God for help with getting a date.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. I find it interesting to note, as I scan thru the comments, how different people pick up on different aspects from your blog.
    The part that stuck out most to me is how you were able to see beyond the surface to your deeper feelings and perceptions of yourself and recognize the roots to be a feeling of being a “burden”. That insight gave me pause to stop and reflect on my own experience.
    So often, I believe, we humans carry on ignorant of what really drives us. To dig deeply into our inner core and come face to face with our unconscious beliefs can open the door to some much needed healing.
    One of my core beliefs was that I was not lovable. I believe my experience with ED was an attempt to make me something someone would “love”.
    An essential part of healing for me was in coming to know and accept, in the deepest recesses of my heart, that God, my Eternal, Heavenly Father loves me, and deems me worth loving, without my having to work to earn that love. When I began to internalize that as truth, then I began to be able to allow people into my life that wanted to and were able to love me, for me, just as I am.
    May God touch your soul in the ways you need so you can know your true worth to Him, as for me that is where true healing really began.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Hello,

    Great sharing. I will tell you that everyone has baggage and that is what keeps us from bearing it alone. Real people know how to share, unpack, snd throw out the extra to run that race ahead. The Lord has His timing for you and maybe all of this blogging is part of the cathartic process.

    Have a great week,

    Gary

    On Monday, September 26, 2016, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “I learned something about myself this weekend. > Allow me to set the stage. Saturday night. Out with friends. Well, > correction…I was out with the guys. Because all my female friends decided > that Netflix was more appealing than a gorgeous, open air ” >

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Caralyn! You are a beautiful person. I have yet to read your entire website & learn a lot from you. Don’t feel less of a person because you think you have a baggage. We all do. What matters is how we proceed from there and how we face this journey of life.
    Thank you for stopping by mate 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  41. When my husband and I first started talking the first thing we did was word vomit said “baggage”. I have to say I had never been more attracted to a person in my life. The fact that he was so vulnerable and comfortable with me that he felt he could unload all of it and let me help him carry it. He later on told me he felt the same way! Hope this is encouraging! You have a perfectly great point here. 🙂 Thank you for the recent like as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Just wondering if you have heard of EFT tapping to help some of the things you’ve talked about? Lots of evidence to help with self acceptance – just how you are but also empowering to change what u wish to. http://Www.thetappingsolution.com has a couple of videos to learn about it and even try it. Low self esteem is a big problem so I am always looking for more tools in my tool box and wanted to share it with you also 😘

    Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you for passing it along. I can’t imagine the pain you must have to deal with. I’m glad you’ve found something helpful. Know that you’re in my heart and prayers. Xoxox

        Like

  44. I must’ve been channeling you a few minutes ago. Omg, so weird the way God uses us for one another. I just finished watching a sermon by T.D. Jesus called, “The Serum Solution.”

    Girl, for reals- please go watch it.

    Your eating disorder may have been an affliction for you, but you survived and because of that, God has made you an antivenom for someone going through what you’ve already overcome. Nothing that you’ve gone through in the past or that you will face in the future is baggage. It is a testimony, your testimony, God’s testimony through you. The exact things that we run from about ourselves, that we hate, or view as weaknesses is precisely what God will use to save us and those around us.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hey Celestial! Oh my gosh what a powerful and affirming comment. Thank you. Seriously, you have such a way of making me feel so empowered and you speak to my soul! Haha I know that’s BEYOND cheesy, but it’s true! Like you said-God definitely made our paths cross for a reason!! I’ll definitely have to look that sermon up! It sounds awesome. Thanks for passing it along. Hope you’re having a great week! Big hugs to you friend xox

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  45. I’m a little late to the party here, but “come as you are” seems to be working for you. Sounds like you had a good time. Sometimes speaking our personal truth in the world seems risky or even terrifying. Still, it is what it is. To quote the post beneath this one, …Glad you had a damn beer.

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  46. Such a wonderful and uplifting write! I can relate to labels and baggage being in my own recovery, a “recovering alcoholic.” I am actually a new label “recovered alcoholic.” Anyway, I relate could relate to what you had to say. I only wish my former better half realized that I was willing to accept ALL OF HER…and it didn’t have to be name brand or have wheels, her baggage. Take good care!

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  47. You are an amazing writer, a beautiful woman, and the exact replica of what I want my future wife to be. I loved your letter to your future husband, it brought tears to my eyes. I would die for a woman like you. Thanks for liking my blogs. I am new to this blogging world, but am learning from wonderful bloggers like yourself. One more thing: your so-called baggage makes you beautiful in my eyes.

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