Frank Conversations

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Ever have one of those moments when something so casual and everyday smacks you upside the head with such plain english, it’s laughable?

Maybe I’m not making myself 100% clear.

Articulate, Caralyn.


Okay.

Sometimes, all it takes is an outside perspective — or, a frank remark by a highly intelligent Wall Street #girlboss lawyer — to really make you see a situation in a new light.

And well, that just happened to me.

Tonight, I was talking with a wise older woman ((not my mom)) about my “staycation” last weekend. I told her how my mom and sister-in-law came to visit, and how we had a great time. We visited the Top of the Rock, ate great food, saw Aladdin on Broadway. I ended it by saying how much I missed my family back in Ohio.

“Well, do you see yourself staying here long term?”

“Oh no!” I replied without even skipping a beat. “I want to raise a family back in Ohio…I just need to meet a man first!” (#selfdepricator)

And without even blinking, this #girlboss woman goes, “Well don’t find one here! Good luck trying to get a New York guy to move to Ohio!”

I chuckled…uncomfortably. “Yeah…”

“You’ve gotta find a guy in Ohio. And you’d better hurry before all the good ones are taken!”

Damn.


That noise you hear is my entire existence shattering into a million tiny pieces.

Walking home, I kept replaying that conversation over and over in my head.

Was I really that dumb? How had I not thought of that before?? Of course, if I meet a guy in NYC, he’s not going to want to leave NYC. He’ll have his job and his life here. He’s not going to want to move to Ohio. 

Oy vey. Am I dense or what?


Over the next few hours, I tried to put it out of my mind. Think about something else: There’s a young singles meet up at church tomorrow…debating going to that. That’s a step in the right direction, right??

Checked out the guest list of a party I’m attending on Saturday night to scope out any potential hunks….

But my mind kept going back to the question…If my end goal is to wind up in Ohio with a family and a lap dog near my family, then why the hell am I looking in New York?

Ugh. I hope you can hear my exasperated groan through the screen.


So then, my mind went to the hypotheticals. I started playing the “what if” game. You know, what would it look like if I were to look for a potential suitor in Ohio.

Well, I have a confession. Back over Thanksgiving when I was at home…I did a little…research. I went on Bumble. Not to get a date, but to just see what was out there. Or rather, see who was out there. Bumble is a dating app that is location based and so wherever you+your phone are, the app will show you people in that same geographical area.

Swiping Scrolling the app, I literally knew so. many. guys. Literally SO MANY were from my high school.

The town — or rather, township — I am from is very…incestuous. Not in an inbreeding sort of way….no Hapsburgs here…

Sorry, history joke…

But people just don’t leave. Maybe they go away to college, but most people end up right back there, going to their alma mater’s Friday Night Football Games every week.

And everybody knows evvvvvvverybodys’ business. 

It’s no secret that home is a very bittersweet place for me.

I’m going to be pretty blunt here: I was a pretty beloved child growing up in my community. I came from a pretty respected family, my brothers were the high school quarterback and point guard, my parents were deeply engaged leaders at our church, and I had been doing professional theater/film around the city since age five. So you can imagine, when I came down with severe anorexia in my last two years of high school and wasted away to 78 pounds, my “fall from grace” was, well….highly visible. 

So ever since I “got well,” home has always been…difficult to return to, to say the least. There’s a shadow of that former life that follows me around. Even to this day, nearly 10 years since the fact, I still will get well-meaning-yet-slightly-out-of-touch women from church who come up to me and say, “Oh, sweetie, you look so healthy now.”

I’ve even had a *former* doctor boisterously and densely joke, “Remember when you didn’t eat?!”


Yeah…

So it’s hard to go back.

So thinking about dating someone from my hometown…it’s complicated. And honestly, anxiety-inducing.

Thinking, he’ll talk to someone and hear a horror story about my past… 

…You’re dating Caralyn? Dude…not a good idea. She’s a head case. Remember in high school? The girl almost died. Don’t get tangled up with that freak show. There’s something wrong with her. 

Whenever I’m back in my hometown, I feel as though I have a big scarlet letter on my chest.

And I’m going to be honest, thinking about this made me really sad. I fought back tears the entire night. I watched Gilmore Girls, and cried, thinking that I could never be Rory Gilmore, returning to Stars Hollow to live by her mom and have that story book existence.

But back to the topic at hand.

Is looking for my future husband in NYC what I’m supposed to be doing?

I went to bed thinking about that with a pit in my stomach, and I woke up with a bit more clarity.

I don’t think “looking for” or “seeking out” my future husband is the answer here.

I should be “seeking” the Lord.

Not a man. The Man: Jesus.

I need to chase His heart, not some Brock, Brett, or Brad I may meet at some wannabe-hipster bar on the Upper East Side.

Because at the end of the day, God already has my future husband picked out, and there’s no way I can miss him.

But that doesn’t just give me a free pass to sit back and be complacent either. I have to put myself in play. Get out there and in the mix so that I can meet him, and be open to love when it comes along.
As far as meeting a NYC guy and wanting to end up in Ohio…

That one, I’m going to have to just throw my hands up and simply trust the Father.

I’m going to trust that He has my best interest at heart. I’m going to pray and keep putting myself in position to meet the man God has in mind for me.


And I guess that means going to that mixer tonight after church.

So…I guess all that’s left to do now is go find my MetroCard and get my arse on the subway  so I’m not late! Who knows. This could be the first day of the rest of my life.

Wish me luck!

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325 thoughts on “Frank Conversations”

  2. I know this is a big thing to have on your mind! My story is a bit different, but I’ll share it with you to demonstrate how the Lord can work in things like this.
    I am from western New York. I went to college at a small university in the middle of nowhere, Ohio. And unbeknownst to me, I met my future husband on my first day at college. But I was certain I did NOT want to stay in Ohio after graduation. I missed home way too much. But then I fell in love with my future husband…and the Lord changed my heart. I just wanted to be wherever my husband was. For us, that’s turned out to be northeastern Ohio. I still miss my home in NY, and David misses his hometown a bit further into Ohio. But it doesn’t HAVE to be an either/or thing. You can still move back to Ohio without living in your hometown with all the business of your childhood being known to everybody. You will still be a lot closer to your family than you are now. But the Lord will lead you to the right man. And you’re right, you won’t be able to miss him!🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Oh my gosh this is so encouraging! Thank you so much for sharing! And what a beautiful love story you have with your husband. I’m so glad you’ve found that right place for the both of you:) thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey hey

    God’s timing is everything! Your last few posts have me kind of wondering if perhaps you’re getting impatient. I remember your post where you were talking about struggling with your point in life after watching an awards show as an aspiring singer/actress. And then wondering about relationships.

    I’m not saying you’re wrong to wonder, but I’m saying rejoice in the things God has brought into your life. Health, loving family, supportive friends here and in your life. I know it’s hard to wait for these things you really want, but God knows you need these things in your life, and He’s preparing you for what He has in store, maybe the singing and acting is somewhere that you will bring Him the most glory. And as for that special man–God may have you all ready for him, but He hasn’t finished everything on him yet for you. When He’s done, He’ll bring him into your life and you will appreciate and thank God for everything about Him.

    I’m kind of in the same boat as you. I really want a family but I don’t know if it’ll be here in Omaha!

    Hoping you are well and always praying for you, Caralyn–remember to rejoice each day for its one that God has made!!

    ~Tom

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for this, Tom. I think you’re right – I think I need to just “take a breather” and trust that God is going to fulfill His plan for my life in His perfect timing. And that includes all areas of life — career, relationships, etc. YOu’re right I have a lot to be grateful for. I should be focusing on that. Will continue to pray for you as well:) big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. And you’re doing a phenomenal job by sharing and encouraging others with your posts here! I’ve learned lots from you! Stay warm Caralyn! Midwest got hit with a bad cold front here!

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  7. Good luck! You never know what’s going to happen next is the phrase that kept coming to my mind. I had a horrible bout with addiction and alcoholism, nearly killed myself, got my life back on track, and was, or so I thought, very happily situated in Boston for the remainder of my life. I had work, a nice place, a good neighborhood, great neighbors, some potential love interests, family nearby, and it was all wonderfully home! Next thing I know, I’m back in DC (where almost all of my addiction history happened, boy do I identify with you on going back the the “scene of the crime” so to speak), giving up job, neighborhood, family, love, and, well, almost everything. Who thought this was a good idea? Well, God. And I’m tempted to agree. But it’s a turn of events I never would have ever even imagined!

    Your faith will guide you. It is one of the most beautiful aspects about you, it shines through in your writing like the first golden streaks of dawn. Faith and trust. God bless! Rich

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Rich, thank you so much for sharing your story. It is very inspiring. You’re right – returning to that place is always difficult, but I’m so glad that you’ve found peace and have flourished there! THat is a true sign of victory and recovery! I appreciate your kindness and friendship. Hugs ox

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  10. This resonates with me. Going “home” is hard for me, not only because of my own fall from grace but because of my blog and the publicity it has had around it at different times. Everyone there “knows me” because of my blog, they’ve kept up with my life, but I don’t know them. It’s awkward.

    On another note: I hope you have a good time at the mixer! 😉 Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rebecca! I’m so glad it struck a chord with you. Yeah, I can definitely relate to having your life out on the internet. Only my family and 2 best friends know about this blog. 😬 debating “going public” with it, so I definitely admire your courage! Keep writing! It helps people more than you know:) Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh goodness, I had no idea you weren’t officially “public”! Going pubic is really difficult, especially if your blog is your therapy (take it from me…), but it was well worth it for me. I didn’t actually get to be the one to make that call with mine, but I am glad that it happened anyways. Haha will do, you too! I always get excited to see when you’ve posted! *hugs and love back atcha* 🙂 Have a great night!

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Well Caralyn, I will not wish you luck. I will pray God’s Blessings be on you, in you, over you. I pray His Spirit to fill you with Love for our Lord Jesus Christ. I pray that the Spirit of Jesus will give you wisdom, wisdom in each choice you make, and that you will hear His voice when He says No, and when He says Go.
    Praying for you to have the Peace that only the Spirit of the Resurrected Christ can give in all circumstances. Praying that you will follow the leading of The Spirit, and that you will continue to seek Jesus in all things, through His Written Word and Prayer.
    I firmly believe you have a strong ministry ahead of you, and there will be a man brought into your life by the Spirit of Jesus, who will be in concert with Jesus and you, and through it all Jesus Christ will be glorified, and others will come to know Him personally.
    Caralyn, you are very special, and I love you, in a Godly way, as I am old enough to be your grandfather.
    God Bless you my good Friend.
    Luv, George

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi George, thank you so much for your prayers. They truly mean so much. Yes, listening to His instruction is always easier said than done…especially when patience is involved. I appreciate your kind words. Aww, you’ve truly made me smile tonight. Hugs and love xox

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  12. Caralyn, while you are waiting for the husband God is preparing for you, you can be investing now in your future marriage by praying through Stormie O’Martian’s book “The Power of A Praying Wife”. Also, you might subscribe to Gary Thomas’ blog on marriage, and receive emails from “Unveiled Wife”. Now is a time for laying good foundations.

    And another thing: two of my favorite people used to tell me that there is one thing much, much worse than being unhappily single: being unhappily married.

    It was when I finally quit looking that I met my husband. I expect you may have the same experience.

    Anyway, I hope this encourages you.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Yup, I’m in the same place as you on that one! Would rather settle down in my hometown but the problem for me is the job market is not good there. I will say, though, that no matter where I go in the world, I seem to run into people from my hometown or the surrounding towns, so don’t underestimate how small a world it is! Maybe there’s a guy in NYC wanting to move back to Ohio, too! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Rose Marie. I’m so glad this resonated with you! Aw, thanks for the encouragement. You’re right-it really is a small world! There’s a good plan out there for both you and I! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  15. Annie over at Catholic Wife, Catholic Life writes about praying a Novena to St. Anne, I think? Apparently, I guess Jesus’ grandmother is the patron of those seeking spouses. It’s worth a shot, if you haven’t tried it!!

    And, I know a deeply devout couple who met I think during Adoration? Or, that was one of their favorite dates? Surrendering our all to His will is *so* difficult, but such a beautiful challenge, for those up to it!

    Happy Feast of the Immaculate Conception!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh interestinggggggg! Perhaps that novena will be my advent focus:) you’re right-Christ centered relationships are so beautiful. My parents and brothers’ marriages are all powerful examples of just that. It’s been so beautiful to watch and observe 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I agree with you, the only man I need in my life is God too. It sounds like you have a lot of baggage back in Ohio, do you really want to go back there?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! Yeah, it’s definitely one of those things that when I think about, I always let out an audible sigh…for as much baggage as I have back there, it’s also where my family is. And at the end of the day, my family are the relationships in my life that I cherish the most. I love my friends obviously, but when I think about when I truly feel the most free, it is with them. I don’t know…a lot to think about. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Wow! Thanks for sharing! That is a truly beautiful and powerful story…. I must say, God does have you covered when it comes to finding a man. Keep your eyes fixated on Him first and foremost and go where you find peace. And who knows? You may meet someone someplace completely random and wind up on a totally different adventure in life than you expected…. I speak from experience! I am from California and I met my husband in Hawaii volunteering with YWAM. He is from Germany and we now live in Canada. Couldn’t have guessed that in a million years, yet here we are. 🙂 so if God made THAT happen, New York to Ohio is definitely doable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Laura, what a kind reflection. Thank you so much for the encouragement. You’re right. God’s got everything under control and His plans may take me somewhere I couldn’t possible imagine yet. And wow! What an incredible story of how you and your husband met! So beautiful! God is good! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Maybe I’m just in a weird mood, but this cracked me up: “And you’d better hurry before all the good ones are taken!” I don’t know. It’s like they’re on sale at Walmart or something. 😆

    And don’t worry. God will provide. He will lead you to the one you’re meant to marry. 🙂 And who knows? It might be that one New Yorker who has a secret yen to leave the city and live in a quiet Ohio town (No sarcasm here. Being perfectly serious).

    By the way (to completely jump subjects), how did you like Aladdin on Broadway?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha I know, the things women say to each other, right?! But you’re right- God absolutelyyyyy will provide. I fully trust that! Oh it was amazing!!! I would highly highly suggest it to anyone! Magical in every sense of the word!! Thanks again xox

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! Thanks for the encouragement. Yeahhhh there is…honestly, not great though. It feels like it’s straight out of the 90s…clunky interface. Maybe I’m being too “persnickety” but it just felt — I don’t know — dated or something. Hope you’re having a great night! Hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jeffrey. Yeah this was a dosey of a post… it was a two-nighter in terms of writing! And there’s a part two coming up on Monday!! Haha write what you know, right? Haha looking forward to reading your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      3. On hey, I wanted to tell you, i wrote a blog post a few days ago called overcoming anorexia. I don’t think anyone will actually “get” it, but i was probably you. Dont know if you read it or not….but i would love to hear your thoughts. I had a body image moment and unless you’ve been through anorexia ….hard to understand.

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      5. I have never spoken of it before. Never shared it with anyone. And I just put it out for the world to see on my blog. Just posting my body was a very very big moment for me.

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      7. 😘😘 thank you! sorry didnt mean to take over your comment feed. just wanted to share that before i forgot

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  23. If going back to my hometown brought the concerns you mentioned, I would not go. I like to move forward. I chose to follow God’s lead and he took me all over the country and NEVER back where I started and I am so much happier. You are right, seek God’s leading. Remember, God made Eve for Adam not the other way around. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for this encouragement. You’re right. God has got the wheel-and it will be a much more interesting and exciting ride than any I could ever imagine. Thanks for stopping by and for this powerful perspective. Hugs and love xox

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  24. I don’t know the exact verse, but I’m sure that there’s this line in the Bible that you inherit fortune from your parents, but only God can give you a good wife (or husband)
    Anyway, that #girlboss woman you’re talking about, yeah, she’s right…
    And this issue of yours that you find it hard to date someone from your town, I can relate to that. well, not in a sense that I’ve done something that made me want to walk away, but I also want to find a guy somewhere far away! Haha
    But if ever I did find one, I do wish to God that this guy should have a bigger faith than me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for this Hikikomori. You’re right-she have an accurate dose of reality! I’m glad this resonated with you. The right guys are out there for us:) I fully believe that:) big hugs to you friend. Thanks for stopping by xox

      Liked by 1 person

  26. Joan Didion (author and playwright) is best known for writing the screenplays of critically acclaimed movies such as Up Close and Personal (1996), The Panic in Needle Park (1971), A Star is Born (1976), and True Confessions (1981) wrote of her impressions of New York City:

    “I remember walking across Sixty-second Street one twilight that first spring, or the second spring, they were all alike for a while. I was late to meet someone but I stopped at Lexington Avenue and bought a peach and stood on the corner eating it and knew that I had come out of the West and reached the mirage. I could taste the peach and feel the soft air blowing from a subway grating on my legs and I could smell lilac and garbage and expensive perfume and I knew that it would cost something sooner or later — because I did not belong there, did not come from there — but when you are twenty-two or twenty-three, you figure that later you will have a high emotional balance, and be able to pay whatever it costs. I still believed in possibilities then, still had the sense, so peculiar to New York, that something extraordinary would happen any minute, any day, any month.”

    Liked by 1 person

  29. You appear beautiful to me inside and out. “The One” will show up when it’s time. He won’t care about your past. He will accept you for who you are and who you were. And the same will apply to you in regards to him. We all have our faults; we’re human. Have faith. Keep being wonderfully you. You don’t need luck. You already have what it takes.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Great post Caralyn, as always.

    Well, in such delicate matters, it’s often best to follow your heart. Just a suggestion.

    In the end, whatever you choose, we never really know what the future brings (or what is God’s plan). Which is kind of the beauty behind it all, the “beauty beyond time”.

    Anyways, hope everything works out well for you, ciao. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Hello Caralyn! It is the age old conundrum of the image of love vs. the feeling of love. I don’t know anyone who would really care where they lived if they could feel immersed in love. Happy hunting!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Trusting God is the best route to go in my opinion, and I have learned that he takes you to places sometimes that you may not have expected to go. It is an adventure, to say the least. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  34. If the “one” for you is in your hometown, he won’t look down on you for your past. He’ll admire you for the strength you had to make it through. Even the people who look like they have everything perfectly together have struggles and issues…it’s just that some don’t show on the outside. Good luck to you, and try to enjoy the stage of life you’re in. So many people would love to have the freedom and options that you have right now.

    Liked by 2 people

  35. I had that “other perspective” moment at Church. I was attending another Church because I’m working with them doing something I thought I would never do. ACTING in a Church Christmas presentation for primary schoolchildren (4-11 age range) God just really spoke to me about different things that have been weighing my heart down; I know there’s a part about a single man rather than looking for a wife to seek the Lord, that has been a comfort in some ways, not sure about a single woman (possibly because I am not one 😂) maybe pray about where you need to be living, what God has planned for your love life x.

    Anyway hope you haven’t missed me too much 😋 sending you lots of 💜💜💜💜💜 and 😘😘😘😘😘
    Benjamin x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh how exciting!! congratulations and break a leg! i know you’re going to do great 🙂 that’s so true. I’ve got to trust His perfect and perfectly timed plan. I appreciate your encouragement, Benjamin! hugs xox

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      1. Its my final day of it today and I’m a little sad I enjoyed it so much x already looking forward to easter 😁 x

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      3. Its for school children so it during the day x. We have been doing 2 performances every day in different churches x.

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  36. Compared to normal EVERYONE falls short. I liked to ride my bicycle in Ohio. I’ve never road the subway but I’ve been in the tunnels. The cars sound like an adventure. Is it like the movies or creepy like the Japanese subways?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ha. I bet. Do you think maybe a dude is not what you need? I travel a lot and I look at couples and wonder what that’s like because I forgot what even holding hands felt like. Then, I’m honest with myself that maybe my life is, enough.

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      2. aw, yeah. i think we all have different things on our hearts. I do believe I am called to marriage. There is a deep longing in my heart to give love to another person. 🙂 but that’s definitely an interesting thought. and i do agree that your life is absolutely enough. hugs xo

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      7. It’s on YouTube. Most, of it anyways. I was wondering, how your fear of acceptance overshadowed your very successful, career. Or, if you saw it that way.

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      8. oh cool. I’ll look it up! To be honest, I don’t really have a fear of acceptance at all. More of failure…and that’s definitely made me think twice about taking big risks.

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      9. Hm, I thought acceptance from someone of your ED. I thought that might stop you from really connecting with someone. So is, failure a big force in your life?

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      10. Oh oh oh. Yes, I didn’t realize that’s what you meant by acceptance. Yeah I definitely have reservations about sharing that history with people but I know that with the right man that won’t be an issue.

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      11. That’s true. Guys are easy, kinda. I was in San Francisco yesterday, learning. Language, labels love as an “always.” Love, seems to be a moment by moment emotion. Romance is bait that love is just, ginormous. To really love someone is to be stripped of definitions implied by others and slowly encircled by what it means to each. Our modern dating implies something so casual to love. It’s scary.

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  37. When I met the love of my life, my precious wife of 28 years, she had things she felt ashamed of regarding her past. She was terrified to share with me. When she finally did, the first thing I heard the Lord say was, “Look how much she loves Me.” I couldnt have cared less about her past. Who was I to judge? I knew we were to be together. God gives us the capacity to love and His love is boundless. God has a man for you and you for him. There is a man out there praying to God for a woman exactly like you just like you are praying for Him!

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    1. Hi Tom, wow, thank you for sharing this. How beautiful. It sounds like you and your wife have an amazing relationship. God is good, and I’m so glad He bought the two of you together. Thanks for the encouragement. hugs xo

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      1. We have a wonderful relationship because we serve an Awesome God who provides the grace to love. Life can be beautiful and life can be incredibly difficult. We have experienced both for sure, sometimes more trials than we care to travel through, but the One thing that has helped us continue to grow, has been the Lord as the center of our individual lives and marriage. Waiting for a man who shares your faith is worth the wait. No one is perfect and learning to love includes accepting the entire person, lumps, bumps and all! Our past and wounds shape us into who we are. You wouldn’t be the person you are today without having traveled the path you did. The path of redemption has further increased the reflection of Christ in and through you. A godly man will understand and value that for sure. If someone is judging your wounds, they need to look hard in the mirror….seriously. Keep being your authentic self and you will be amazed at who God brings in His time!

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      2. That is seriously so beautiful. A Christ-centered marriage is the key to a lasting and beautiful partnership. You’re right-we are who we are because of our past. That’s some great wisdom. Massive hugs to you.

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  42. I’m in agreement with you. I had a friend who was really wanting to grow some roots and settle down. She wouldn’t talk to men, and said if God has someone for her He’ll bring him to her. I reminded her of Ruth, and gently said God can do that, but you can be a little bold too. It can’t hurt to try. Carpe your diem 🙂

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  43. Oooor (that’s meant to be awwwww)… in the sense: you’ll get there. And so many sound comments!
    From my perspective, I think you need to step back from those words (a “word curse”?); and also raise up your family’s, and your own, wisdom. I could go on, and on…
    …
    e.g. Your “here,” is where you are, and He is…
    And as you open up (and as you have worked on – and you can respect your work), he… comes in.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is really great advice, David. I’ve Got to just be present where I am and listen to the sound advice from those around me. Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement! Have a great night! Hugs and love xox

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  44. Wow you meet some interesting and very discerning people! Also I wish the Lord’s hand over your mixer! 😀 You are a beloved daughter in the eyes of the Lord and you are totally right; He has the best plans for you! Keep praying, keep seeking Jesus and you will find Him! Lots of love from SA

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  45. Wow! You’ve gotten a great deal of encouragement and prayers. Yea! As much as I love the city I now live in, I didn’t want to move back. mostly because of bad memories, a rape and other horribleness. Plus, my children are in other states and I wanted to be nearer to them, so I know how that feels. Even though I didn’t move into the same community I am doing well. I even attended my class reunion. Granted it’s been 50 years and everyone has grown up, but I forced myself to go and it went very well. It was my own self consciousness that was tough.
    As for the right man, meet and greet and let God. The thing of it is, He knows what you need and believe it or not, the right one will appear when you aren’t even looking. There’s an old saying that sometimes “you can’t see the forest for the trees” Well, its true, you may miss Mr. Right for looking too hard.
    My husband has always said that he doesn’t care where we live as long as I’m happy and he’s with me. We are here now because his mother will be alone when her ill husband passes, so that’s okay. He did it for me when we moved to take care of my parents and now it’s his parents turn. Maybe one day, I’ll get to be near my kids again, if not, they are only a couple of states away and that’s not too far, plus I live by the beach, so they try harder to get here for visits. LOL
    Just remember, everything works according to God’s plan.

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    1. Thanks Jolie! Yeah I’m super grateful to all the kindness! Wow, thank you for sharing your story. I’m so glad that you’re doing well. That takes a lot of courage to go back. That’s great advice. Just let God Do His thing. And not look too hard. It sounds like you and your husband have a beautiful marriage. I’ll definitely keep his father in my prayers. Hugs to you xox

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  48. As an old married woman, with grown kids and a grandchild, this made me smile – in a friendly, sisterly, way … he will turn up when you least expect, and aren’t looking for anyone (or have your eyes on someone else, who isn’t interested)!

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  49. The journey of a hero in all the epic tales follow the same path;

    Something happens, causing them to have to go, willing or unwilling.

    Then comes the preparation. It may be mental or physical…

    The journey: the hero travels to an unknown place filled with challenges. This is where they find people who help them and teach them to survive.

    The turning point… the journey comes to an end, with the problem defeated, the hero returns home.

    Upon the hero’s return, they carry all the knowledge and experience they gained. Then it is time to share that with those around them, as well as living a fuller life.

    Why do I tell you this? Think of your life… is it any different?

    One last thing… The people who know you, will also know that you survived. The ones who are worth while to be around will respect you for your recovery, and will be proud to call you their friend (or more 😉

    Good luck on your journey, and know that God is always with you. His timing is always perfect.

    Havoc

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  50. Take it from me do what you said you were going to and seek Jesus! When I stopped searching for a guy and searching for Jesus and pleasing him, he literally dropped a man right in my face that had been standing there all along! Keep trusting him! Live in the moment and enjoy the ride!😊😊

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