Dear Kathy Griffin…

Being a millennial New Yorker and actor, I’d like to think I’ve got pretty thick skin.

Getting rejected is par for the course in the entertainment industry. The city doesn’t do you any favors — just try battling the check out lines at Whole Foods at 3pm on a Sunday.  Heck, even the squirrels seems to have a certain undeniable hutzpah on these streets.

Really, nothing quite comes as a shock to me anymore, for better or for worse.


Earlier this week, opening up my Buzzfeed app to find Kathy Griffin’s infamous photo of her, carrying the bloodied head of a decapitated President Donald Trump…I literally stopped in my tracks.


Just. No.

And I have a few words.

This is not okay. I don’t care how much you hate the President or his policies, that went. too far.

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is one of – if not the most – polarizing Presidents in the history of the United States, but propagating his death – especially by deliberate decapitation – even as “comedy” – is never, under any circumstance, funny, or edgy, or boundary pushing, or remotely acceptable. Just. No.

I’m not here to drag Kathy Griffin through the coals, but when has this level of sordid obscenity become okay?

When has it become acceptable to emulate the likes of terrorists, and pass it off as political satire?

RealTalk: We need to wake up, look in the mirror, and say, how did I make that okay?

Because here’s the thing: Ms. Griffin is not stupid. She’s a managed comedy machine. And for better or for worse, that photo shoot was calculated: she took those pictures, because the climate of our society is such that smut is culturally acceptable. And dare I say, even celebrated. ((50 Shades of Gray much?))

Sure, maybe she’s having to back pedal now, but the fact is, she released it, because we allowed her to.

And my question is this: What role am I playing in that?

What am I doing to challenge or perpetuate this climate of awfulness?


What do I spend my money on? What shows do I watch? What video games do I play? What clothes do I wear?  What do I retweet, or read, or talk about?

We make our cultural beds, so to speak, every single day, by the actions that we take – or don’t take.

And Kathy Griffin’s grave misstep, is just one example of the monster that we’ve helped create.

I look around, as I’m walking through the streets of New York, and I’d say that 90% of the people have their heads down, buried in their phones.

Source: stevecutts

I kid you not. I was walking through Bryant Park at dusk one evening, and at one point, I looked up and every. single. person. was engrossed in their phones. Even the couples sitting on blankets.

We vote by our browser history. Our Netflix queue. Our social media follows and feeds.

And you and I, we’re fighting an uphill battle, living in a culture that has left God behind long ago.

Now, I look at that picture of Kathy Griffin, and instead of remaining shocked and saddened and disgusted by this disrespect and terroristic nature of the photo, I’m instead, challenged to make a change.

Ignited to combat the depravity of our age.

And it starts with you and me: With our small sphere of influence. The people in our lives. The neighbors, friends, shop keepers, and community members. How do we spread love? Respect? Tolerance? Understanding? Forgiveness?

We do it by letting God shine through us.

We do it by looking up from our phones and engaging with people on a meaningful level – hearing their stories, and sharing our own. Encountering people, and sharing the truth that they are loved and that there is something — or rather SomeOne — greater to live for.

Even in something as little as a smile. Or a hug.

Because in the world that can be oppressive and dark, a little light goes a long way.


It starts with you and me.

It starts today.

Stay Connected!
@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram




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493 thoughts on “Dear Kathy Griffin…

  1. Thank you for saying what so many believe… ‘And Kathy Griffin’s grave misstep, is just one example of the monster that we’ve helped create.’ People say that our culture is messed up. However, we are a part of that ‘messed up culture’. Therefore, we either resolve to not do anything and be ‘guilty by association’ or we be different and intentionally effect change for the good in the family, workplace, city, etc. where God has placed us.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. The mood in contemporary American society has been created by Donald Trump. The hate and violence have always been there, under the skin. That lying son of a bitch created a tone that leads to violence. During the campaign, he asked for violence, and offered to pay costs of people arrested for violence. He’s such a piece of dirt, I can barely stand that he exists. Kathy is a bright and talented person, and she was telling a joke that millions of us were happy to see, so hated is Trump. It’s just a fucking joke, and the big deal about it is Political Correctness taken AGAIN to excessive levels. One could see the photo and go “ewe”, and move on to the next story. Instead, the messenger of truth is attacked. Stupid.


  3. Donald Trump and his family have been under attack even before he was elected. He is standing up for what he believes and what he thinks will make America Great amidst a society that is consumed by relativism, absurdism, consumerism. diabolism. criticism, despotism etc. Donald Trump ought to be admired for having put himself in the firing line. I don’t know many leaders who would do what he is doing. Ms Griffin is obviously trying to make a political statement , it has offended me because we are all human beings created in God’s image and we should respect that.The decapitated head is not showing respect, it’s offending God, it’s not even funny. Our world needs to practice regulation and respect more. Relativism is eroding all those good values and boundaries that we used to have. Has progress made us a better society??? I think not !!!!!!!!!!!! God bless you Caralyn for standing up for the truth ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. LOVE this! I love a good comic… I love to laugh but this was an atrocity! When I saw her “apology” posted online, an apology might’ve been coming out of her mouth, but her body language spoke volumes to the contrary, imho. I think she was scrambling because this foolish and grotesque act was sending her career down the hopper. I really loved this very thought-provoking post! Nicely done!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I too was shocked by the picture that Kathy Griffin posted of our President. During this time of unrest in the world and horrific atrosities committing by humans against humans, those who continue to spread fear and hate are contributing to the voilence and decline of the world order as we know it today. As God’s children, we have to demand change. We are living proof of His mercy and grace. Thank you for speaking out.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Hi BBB,

    Good character may not put you on the “A” list in Hollywood, but it matters to the Lord. Just a thought. Through out your posts you mentioned getting into the film and television industry. In many ways you see what not to do to get your name out there. I hope you keep following those who are doing it right and keep modeling Christ in Media.

    Keep it up,


    On Thu, Jun 1, 2017 at 3:59 PM BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Being a millennial New Yorker and actor, I’d > like to think I’ve got pretty thick skin. Getting rejected is par for the > course in the entertainment industry. The city doesn’t do you any favors — > just try battling the check out lines at Whole Foods at 3pm” >

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Dear Beautybeyondbones, Thank you for speaking up and encouraging others to gain perspective. We lost the fight for decency long ago, I was shocked at a cell advertisement showing kindergartners smashing things, I don’t remember the carrier,. This practice of “if you disagree with me I will kill you” is new. We can disagree, actually disagreement is a good thing. . . just saying

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Aloha from way out…where is this…uh…South? Pacific? South Pacific-ish? Just kidding (sort of), I think I’m way out, way west from you. I just wondered if you had ever seen Thandie Newton’s TED talk from 2011? I think you’d really appreciate and connect with her message about “otherness” and how we need to spread awareness of our own light and permission for others to shine theirs. Well, that’s what I got from it, but if you ever have just a few seconds shy of 15 minutes, it’s a beautiful way to spend it:


    1. Thanks so much Kerissa, I really appreciate it. I haven’t seen that talk! I’ll definitely check it out! thanks for passing along the link…it sounds awesome! yes! let’s spread our light and shine baby shine! 🙂 haha big hugs xox


  9. Love this. I kind of quit reading posts on this subject b/c how much new is there to say really? “It’s bad! It’s bad!” And that’s true. But your “what role am I playing in that?” take and the challenge to make a change and let God shine through was both and challenging and encouraging. Thanks!
    Excellent, excellent. Beautiful post.


  10. Great post B3! Had it been a photo of someone standing there with Clinton’s head in their hand I would have been equally disgusted with it and I am sure some would have not have been so tolerant in that case, even if it was meant to be a joke. Griffin’s later explanation that she thinks Trump broke her is nothing more than her minimizing her responsibility for her actions. Have a blessed day! R.I.


  11. People need to understand that thoughts and impressions and opinions are not objective realities. If Kathy Griffith thinks that President Trump broke her she is a very lost and confused person. Trump didn’t do anything to her–her thinking did. In general it is difficult to understand why so many people have such deep feelings of hate for Trump. What is the source of their thinking which is generating in them such strong, strange emotions? If they want to hate a politician maybe they should go for Assad or someone like him? But even then what are their very strong, negative, and unhappy emotions going to accomplish–besides breaking themselves!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend, thanks for this thoughtful response. Yeah, the hatred for trump is so deep seeded and it’s disappointing because people can’t see past it and actually give him a chance. Thanks for stopping. By. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  12. As a Brit, I have no place to comment on a US President. But as you will know from one of my blogs, the world is now just a little bit less safe because of him. Nevertheless, I agree with you that this comedian’s jest is in the seriously wrong direction. There is a pseudo superior element on both sides of the Atlantic that confuses mocking and patronises for serious satire. And this lamentable condition preceded Mr Trump. Indeed, it is a reflection of a malaise that brought him to power (and helps his type over this side of the pond).


  13. We are not huge fans of Trump but would never condone such actions!
    I notice the phone situation in Seattle is similar to that of New York. I personally try to minimalist my use in front of my young and impressionable children, and make sure I pay attention to them instead. Same for my husband and friends. Show people respect by giving them your attention!


  14. I applaud your passion to be a change agent; to be the love of God to others. I hate to be a Debbie downer. I think we do still need to fight the good fight (which is to love the weak, weary and wounded without reservation). But the Bible is clear (see Matthew 24) – in the last days, the love for others will grow cold. There will be a slide into ungodliness the likes of which we have never seen, and then the return of Jesus, the blessed hope, will happen!


  15. We find ourselves through thoughtful reflection, a mentor of mine told me five decades ago. I am delighted to see you are reflecting younger in life than this “older gray hair” did. The “politics” of change began in our society as far back as the 1960s and the partisan divide has been growing for decades based on the significant difference in how our society handles “social issues.” Bravo for speaking up and out. I look forward to following your writing and wish you much continued success.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Well said.

    Used to be Rob and Laura Petrie couldn’t be shown in the same bed on prime time TV. On Gunsmoke, when the guy in the black hat was shot, he doubled over with a groan and died and we saw no blood. Today we see all manner of soft porn and autopsies shown in gory detail.

    Garbage in, garbage out. Or as Frank Zappa sang:

    I am gross and perverted
    I’m obsessed ‘n deranged
    I have existed for years
    But very little has changed
    I’m the tool of the Government
    And industry too
    For I am destined to rule
    And regulate you

    I may be vile and pernicious
    But you can’t look away
    I make you think I’m delicious
    With the stuff that I say
    I’m the best you can get
    Have you guessed me yet?
    I’m the slime oozin’ out
    From your TV set.


    1. Thanks for this thought provoking response. wow, what powerful lyrics. Yeah we definitely are living in a crazy time. It’s sad really…no more family friendly prime time…only American Idol was really the last glimmer of hope, and even that bit the dust!! thanks for stopping yb. hugs xo


      1. I recall when talking on the phone meant being connected to a wall by an eight-foot curly cord. For all the “connectivity” our modern technology provides, I think we’re more disconnected than ever. Families don’t eat around a table anymore, and if they do they’re texting to someone somewhere else.

        As for “American Idol”, well, I’ve railed against that show, too. It, too, plays a role in our decline. Idol is defined as “a representation or symbol of an object of worship; broadly : a false god. 2a : a likeness of something obsolete : pretender, impostor. 3 : a form or appearance visible but without substance, an enchanted phantom, a lifeless idol.”

        We are a modern day Rome, engrossed in avarice and pleasure. Well, Rome fell. We will, too.


  17. Very well said. We can disagree without being hateful, and we need to wake up and do our part of change the culture into one of more love and acceptance. I don’t like the direction our society is taking, so I need to do my best to live differently!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Well said. What is more shocking than the political divide is the ever-increasing callousness underneath it all, permeating the bedrock temperament of our Western culture. We stare for hours on end at 3×5 inch screens, feeling more and more connected to the wider world, but the cruel irony is that we have become more isolated, and further removed from a genuine understanding of peace, compromise, and graciousness. We may listen to a lesson for an hour or two a week to a sermon or podcast or TED talk about grace or transcendent neighboring or collaborative community or unconditional love, but the 156-157 hours are spent steeped in a culture that kicks against these things out of some unwitting, misplaced devotion for individualism. We cannot have it both ways. Grace is unfair. Collaboration requires concession. Love will always be messy. And in order for these virtues to hold sway in our lives, we must relinquish our tight-fisted grasp on self-importance and personal comfort.

    Thank you for writing this. Please keep writing it, and saying it, and showing it every single day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for this, Bo. What a powerful comment. You’re right, though we’re technologically more “connected”, we’re actually more isolated. Isn’t that the truth! thanks for the great food for thought hugs x


  19. D’accord. You might like this poem I wrote some time ago about the immersion into social media.

    The Bubble People
    @August 27, 2001

    And there are little blue bubbles
    All around their heads.
    At least,
    That’s the way I see it.
    They go swizzing down the highway,
    Weaving slightly,
    That they are going 35 or 85 in a 65 zone.
    Inside the little blue bubble,
    Stocks are being bought and sold.
    Their heads lean thoughtfully to the left
    Their left hand bracing the Nokia
    And blocking their view of passing cars
    And the beautiful scenery that is
    No doubt one reason they chose to live
    In such an expensive place as Westchester.
    Inside the little blue bubble,
    Business is being transacted —
    Serious stuff —
    Money changes hands.
    And hopefully, more than their share
    Rubs off on their palms like dried green mold.
    If enough little scraplings of green powder
    Are heaped together,
    The man in the little blue bubble can buy —
    Perhaps a better beeper, phone, or larger car.
    In the park,
    The children come and go,
    Talking of Mike and Angelo;
    Looking perhaps for the lame balloonman.
    But the woman in the little blue bubble
    Doesn’t see or hear them;
    Turns her head and puts a finger in her ear,
    The better to block the whiz of whirring skaters.
    There’s a deal on the line.
    There’s money to be made.
    She doesn’t hear the bees whine,
    Doesn’t feel the elm shade.
    And the spring mischief in me paints a sudden vision:
    I could go and tap her on the shoulder,
    Dance her off her feet and back to life
    In this sunny day park of now.
    My eyes dart to her face, searching,
    But it is lost —
    Lost behind the foggy blue bubble.
    “Before I built a wall…” I mutter
    And stroll back slowly the way I came.


  20. Thank you for such a powerful, poignant message. I agree with it entirely. Why is it that those who haven’t a belief system work so hard to impose their will on others? Subsequently, family and moral values have plummeted with every generation over the past fifty years. Kathy’s actions have brought consequences as we just saw in the Alexandria Shooting critically injuring Republicans at a baseball practice.
    If I could add the polarization of America began with the 44th President. He also racially charged a country that was in a peaceful state overall.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Darell, I really appreciate this thoughtful response. I know, we need to get back to those family/moral values. It’s really sad. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. hugs x


  21. This is great! I really enjoyed your approach to taking accountability for our role and actions as opposed to firing back with more angry opinions. This was a great read this morning and motivated me to think about what I put out there and what my actions represent, including what I post on my own blog (thank you for liking my post). And your connection to God, love, and respect is refreshing and often missed in today’s society. Fantastic blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I ABSOLUTELY DESPISE TRUMP! And I believe that he has taken an already polarizing society and pushed in that direction seven fold with his vileness and ignorance. But that being said, I completely agree with you in that, although it may have been a joke, what Ms. Griffin did was in poor taste and the only way we can move in a positive direction is by trying not to engage in the same, base behavior that Mr. Trump has demonstrated. I think that we need to show a different side. Maybe not fight fire with fire. More of a Martin Luther King Jr. approach: a kinder, more mature, and much more intellectual side in order to obviate us from moving further down this road of hate.


  23. First of all, thank you for the amazing post. Even though it’s not the first time I see the call to vote with our passive choices – but your writing really made me think deeper about whether all of my choices represent the values I believe in. But I wanted to ask – how do you feel about political correctness in satire? I, too, think that this photo with Trump was vulgar, completely irrelevant and not fitting even as satire, but it made me think – where’s the line? I’m trying to answer this question for myself and would love to hear your opinion.


  24. The line is when you quit making fun of the way someone talks, acts and behaves politically and begin threatening their family, health, security and life. It is also when you begin to bar those who disagree with you from your life, your campus and society. The moment we begin to threaten and silence those who do not agree with us is the moment we make it possible for it to happen to us. If we are to remain free, we must allow our opponents to peacefully say what they believe without fear.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. I’m sorry… to read all this is too hard to me in an another language. You, in English, (or something like that hehe) have more vocals than in Spaniard language (LOL) but you use to use more, even non-vocalic sounds together and it’s (too much body! hehe)
    I would like to say, if anyone’s has, an intention: “We should have to “take care” on images we post. It has to be perfect or from the newspapers because, if we think on it, people use to “watch” it. Even more than from a street announce.

    More or less thats what I would like to say. Thank you. Best Regards


  26. Thank you for your honest writing. We all must STOP – we need to re-think absolutely everything and learn to tolerate more, to recognise differences (opinions, cultures, languages, shapes, sizes); to learn how to repair the damage caused by thinking the same way generation and after generation and look for alternatives, ideas, solutions so that every creature on earth can live in harmony. Let us all learn from our mistakes and create a future that is different, that is better.
    Thanks also for reading and liking my posts, in particular, the last one “Happy Birthday”.
    I look forward to reading more from you.
    Best wishes – Marg.


  27. AMEN !!! Thank you for this … it is long overdue … we have to look at society and see where it is going and what part we can play in reversing this atmosphere of hate and intolerance !!! jan


  28. I’m an opinionated, atheist, left-wing, Trump-despising, take-your-guns-away-liberal, and I love this blog. I love that the only side you take is the humanist one. No matter what we believe, it is never right to terrorize or view another human or group of people as being worthy of terrorizing. Yeah, we have a bully for a president. That doesn’t make it right for us to be a bully. Anyways, I’m rambling, when what I really want to do is recommend a book to you. “War is a Force That Gives Us Meaning” by Chris Hedges is an eye opening account of why we war and how it corrodes our societies. Chris is a war-time journalist with years of experience and a penchant for Shakespearean comparison. Check it out, I think it will resonate with you. Cheers!


    1. Hi friend! Gosh I so touched by this thoughtful response. Thank you so much! I’m so glad that my posts resonate with you. Thanks for the book recco. I will definitely check it out. Amen! We are all worthy of respect and dignity 🙂 thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  29. I just wrote a meaningful reply to this blog. I really like what you had to say. However, long or short story, my phone decided to erase it all suddenly. Grrr…

    In any event, thanks for liking my blog!


  30. As I read your post, which I agree with, I remember that last night I watched 4 ‘comedy’ shows on TV. They were all British, (Australian comedy is usually “Good Evening…swear swear swear”).
    And I think of what you wrote. When did we change so much? 4 comedy shows, and I didn’t laugh once. But the people in the audiences were laughing.
    Social media, media and peer pressure have a lot to do with the state of the world. Young people today watch the soaps on TV and actually believe this is how they are supposed to behave. They listen to the radio to the most boring songs, 6 notes 4 words, and they think it is great, because the DJ tells them it is. And this trend of living life with one hand, because you CAN’T put your phone down for a second, is just annoying.
    Sure I have a smart phone. I used my home WiFi to download a diary, because I refuse to have data.
    I don’t have phone data, I do not listen to the radio, I do not watch soaps on TV. because they are leading the world down the wrong road.
    I remember in an episode of Mrs Brown’s Boys, Mrs Brown was talking about God and His message and said “If God want’s anyone to hear his message, He’ll have to text them”. (I know there is a lot of swearing, but it is done the way people in that situation really live).
    Perhaps politicians in so called Christian countries could get rid of sex education in school and bring back religious education.
    Unfortunately churches are falling into the world trap. My mother goes to a church, (I can’t go to a church because I don’t agree with what churches teach), and she was saying that in less than a year it has gone from a good church to one that asks for money for everything.
    “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you”.


  31. I agree that this Kathy Griffin stunt is beyond the bounds of decency. I would point out however that decency is defined and operable in large measure across the spectrum of belief or non-belief in supernatural beings. Doing what is right does not require religion. Most atheists and agnostics are morally upright. There are whole countries with better social systems than ours where most people do not believe in gods. And, not in defense but in understanding of those who step over the line, it is hard to behave decently if others do not, particularly those who claim to have authority and precedence. To that extent, Trump himself is to blame for what has happened here.


  32. What a refreshing and brave perspective. Thank you for posting and reminding us that we’re all entitled to our views without having to promote barbarism to impose the same on others.


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