The Exploitation By “To The Bone”

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Before tonight’s zinger..which…I’m fired up tonight, so get ready….

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But first, I have some incredibly exciting news to share.

I just found out that BeautyBeyondBones was ranked in the Top 25 Eating Disorder Recovery Websites on the World Wide Web!

 

So thank you with all my heart for taking the time out of your busy lives to read my words.

OK…now onto tonight’s main event.

As you know, I was utterly disgusted at Netflix for their irresponsible and harmful depiction of teenage suicide in “13 Reasons Why.”

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You’d think they’d have learned their lesson after the backlash by the public, and several tragic copy-cat teenage suicides post-airing. But no.

In fact, they’ve done it again….

And this time…it’s about anorexia.

The movie is called “To The Bone” and it is being released on July 14.

They just premiered the trailer.

I watched it.

I nearly threw up I was so repulsed.

*sigh* Where do I even begin.

Let me just start out by saying that I am 10 years strong into my recovery from a life threatening case of anorexia. I starved myself down to 78 pounds. Went to inpatient treatment. Relapsed. Exercised destructively. And osteopenia, infertility, and some serious other issues later, I am finally healthy – mind, body and spirit.

And even though I am 10 years strong, I was triggered by this trailer.

Seeing Lily Collins, the actress who plays the main character – a 20-year-old young woman with anorexia – in such a severely emaciated state made me absolutely shudder.

The hollowed out and gaunt face, the skeletal frame — it made my blood boil.

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You see, the actress, Lily Collins, battled an eating disorder herself. And so for her to have to get down to that dangerously low weight, while in real life, she is in recovery herself, it pains me to think of the detrimental harm that did to her own personal recovery.

But seeing those images poses a tremendous risk for those girls (and boys) who are struggling with an eating disorder, or who are in recovery. It was just wayyy too realistic. Just too far.

It’s hard for a person who has never struggled with an eating disorder to understand what “triggering” really means to someone with/in recovery from ED.

And yeah, seeing her skeletal, emaciated frame is triggering, but it’s also other things too — like seeing her deny food. Depictions of purging or exercise. Depictions of obsession over food and calories. “Triggering” images and language make a person miss their eating disorder, point blank. Triggers make a person “flirt” with ED, and seriously jeopardize their recovery…best way to put it.

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The whole trailer just romanticized anorexia. From the joking — yes, joking — about her ability to know every food item’s caloric amount, to her measuring the circumference of her arms with her thumb and middle finger, hell – to her “thigh gap,” or to the “glamour shots” of her sharp bones protruding from her back, to the handsome therapist in her inpatient treatment facility who takes the kids outside in the rain so that they “remember how to live.”

I’m sorry. But when I was so severely depleted, I couldn’t even go to bed with wet hair after a shower because of the calories I’d expend from the loss of heat in my head while I slept. Going out in the rain is not something that you are physically able to do as someone with anorexia – your body simply cannot regulate your body temperature and keep it warm. Had a therapist/doctor taken kids out in the rain…he would have lost his job. And his medical license.

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To be fair, I haven’t seen the movie, but from the 2 minute trailer, I can tell you that I don’t want to.

“To The Bone’s” recklessly irresponsible depiction of anorexia made me want to scream.

And what’s more is that in addition to Lily Collins, the writer and director also suffered from an eating disorder.

THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER

How dare they put out material that is going to trigger those who watch it.

“But we’re trying to start a conversation about an important topic…”

Bull. Shit.

I’m sorry, but someone had to say it.

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I’m sick and tired of Hollywood glorifying issues that real people suffer from, just to push the envelope and be edgy, and cause a buzz for their movie.

Not cool.

You want to really help raise awareness and open up a dialogue about anorexia? Then how about you not romanticize it and joke about it on an *dramatic-comedy.*

Why don’t you ask someone who actually lived through the starvation, isolation, calorie obsession, tortuous exercise, broken relationships, shattered future, inpatient treatment — what she thinks about your enshrined depiction of a disease – a mental illness – that nearly killed her? Why don’t you ask me?

Because I’ll tell you: I’m not laughing.

I’m disgusted.

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You’re “sincere” efforts to open a dialogue — are already having detrimental effect: Photos of a gaunt and skeletal Lily Collins from the trailer are already being passed around the internet as “thinspo,” – aka: “thin-spiration” — photos that mentally sick girls use to salivate over as they deny themselves food in order to starve down to nothing.

Way to go. Way to raise “awareness.”

Netflix, you should be ashamed of the despicable representation of mental illness here recently with 13 Reasons Why and To the Bone.

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You should realize the power of influence, especially on young, impressionable teenage minds.

There is a responsibility that comes with platform, and you are promoting shows that propagate harmful and negligent material.

“To the Bone” went way too far.

It is a desperate cry for “artistic attention” that romanticizes the nature of anorexia, while simultaneously negating the dangers of the disease, creating a seriously destructive narrative.

I want no part of that.

None.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

434 thoughts on “The Exploitation By “To The Bone””

  2. Hi! This was such a helpful post about why the trailer was triggering. I’m writing a novel involving a character with Anorexia (specifically a relapse triggered by excessive stress) and I’m concerned about creating content that could lead impressionable girls the wrong direction even though my goal is to create discussion and compassion (specifically in Christian communities). If you have time, I’d love pointers on what tactful, respectful, and responsible portrayal of the illness would look like?
    Thank you for creating this blog and sharing your story!
    -Morgan

    Like

    1. Thank you so much Morgan, I’m glad this resonated with you. And wow, what an awesome thing you’re doing! i can’t wait to read your novel. it sounds like a powerful story. Way to go!! Shoot me an email 🙂 big hugs xox

      Like

  6. Wow. I had no idea how brutal this disease can be. I knew it devastated families but I did’t have a clue about the true damage done to the individual. I know from personal experience that the power of God will always keep you. And I now realize the importantance of your blog. May the Lord continue to bless you in the great work you are doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow. I had no idea how brutal this disease can be. I knew it devastated families but I did’t have a clue about the true damage done to the individual. I know from personal experience that the power of God will always keep you. And I now realize the importantance of your blog. May the Lord continue to bless you in the great work you are doing.

    Like

  10. Hollywood and the producer of the film may not mean it to hurt anyone but to educate them. You have to really find out. I could nto,t stop until I finished the whole story. Thank God you have recovered from the disease, Anorexia.

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  11. Hollywood and the producer of the film may not mean it to hurt anyone but to educate them. You have to really find out. I could not stop until I finished the whole story. Thank God you have recovered from the disease, Anorexia.

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  12. You are absolutely right about everything you said here, and I’m truly sorry that this affected you so profoundly and who knows how many 1000s of others. Hollywood and the rest if the film and TV industry have a number of nefarious aims and objectives when churning out the toxic sludge that comprises most of what they produce, however the most despicable of those aims is the indoctrination of young minds. This is clearly aimed at , as you say, glamourising a severe mental disorder and corrupting young minds into believing that this is something to strive for. So in indoctrinating youth, they place them in the ultimate prison-their own minds. And if they have achieved that then that is one more step to ultimate control over everyone. When everyone is watching TV and absorbing the toxicity it emits, they are distracted from the real truths of the world. Which is exactly why people like you- in recovery or recovered or having found their true spirituality- are of no interest to them. You’ve broken free, seen the light and the real truths of our world and are trying to make others do the same. So they don’t care what you have to say, because they cannot further indoctrinate you, and if they can’t do that, they can’t control you. And so, you matter not to them. They cannot corrupt you. They don’t want to know that you’re outraged because they’ll continue merrily along with years and years of planned and prepared brainwashing and indoctrination. But you’ve found the real power and truth.
    What you do- fighting to make others see the truth and spiritual beauty of the world too- is detrimental to the industry’s (hidden) aims. So visual excrement such as this show and numerous others will continue to be produced and aired and broadcast into people’s lives and all we can do is make everyone we can WAKE UP. If you seek it, the truth is in plain sight.
    Wish you nothing but the best 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this powerful reflection. Such great food for thought here. you’re so right – I have broken free, and I am so grateful for that! You’re right, there’s a lot of garbage being passed around as “entertainment” and it’s important to remember the things that really matter, like love, and kindness and being good to people. Thanks for your wonderfully kind words. big hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome.😊 I only ever say what I mean. I always enjoy your posts and thanks for another great one. X

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  15. I am horrified to read your description of this show. It sounds criminally irresponsible. I shall pray for you to stay strong, and to be aware every day of God’s love, and the beauty of the world He has created for us.
    Love
    Penny

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  20. This post was very well-written, and I want to express the admiration I have for your journey, as well as the passion you retain for our cause. I, too, have suffered from an eating disorder for nearly 10 years, which then led to an uphill battle with anxiety and depression.

    However, I have to say that I disagree. I think that people need to see what is real, and know the truth about these disorders. The use of trigger warnings, and hiding certain content because it is too realistic frankly has the potential to enable people to hide from their own anxieties and fears.

    I have been in full recovery for 3 years now, and yes, watching the trailer was difficult. BUT- it also helps me to realize and remember that I still have things to work on and that I still retain potentially adverse cognitive distortions. I think the same goes for others in recovery or post-recovery- If something like this is too much for you to watch, then you may have some more work to do on your state of mind. Which is a good thing- the ability to be introspective is essential to improvement.

    Do I think these two shows were romanticized? Yes. However, these shows did not instill the thought distortions and negative psychopathologies in the people who were so-called “copycats” of the series, or of the movie when it is released. These individuals needed help long before, and while the shows may have put an idea into their minds about suicide or disordered behaviors, this was only in addition to their previous inclinations. It takes a lifetime of experiences and a certain brain chemistry to build up to a severe mental health issue, not merely a 2-hour movie or series.

    And I do have to say- my family helped me get through my disorder with humor. I used humor to get through the hospital stays and forced-ensure. I cracked jokes about my cocktails of antidepressants and how my pill-cutter became more essential to have with me than even my wallet. Laughter is powerful, and I think it is okay to lighten the mood of a serious situation as long as you can remember and keep in mind that it is, indeed, serious. A smile is a hell of a drug.

    I understand your fears. I understand your outrage. But I don’t think that sheltering people from what is raw and true and hard to see is the answer. We can’t spend our lives walking on eggshells around what is difficult. A sheltered life is a lie.

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    1. thank you so much for this powerful perspective. I really appreciate your insight on this. I think there’s a lot of truth in that – those inclinations were there, with or without a show about it. i just fear that it becomes just the encouragement they need to actually follow through. And to be completely honest, “triggered” was not the right word to describe my reaction to the trailer – it was more anger…the mama bear rising up in me to protect those who i know it will hurt. That’s so awesome about your recovery. i hope you can hear me cheering for you through the computer screen 🙂 hah And yes, humor has a lot of healing power. haha, oh gosh, i feel ya on the ensure jokes. priceless. thanks for your beautiful response. big hugs to you xo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I actually only wrote this because my internet was on the fritz this morning and I wanted to see if it would work after I typed up such a long comment and didn’t see it haha- but thank you for responding to both!!!

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  22. They do anything for a buck! It’s this new society that believes that we are all individuals and that we should not care about what we do because We are all Independent of each other. NO! We are all interconnected. Our behavior, good or bad, affects those around us. When our behavior hurts someone else, it’s not rights, it’s license. God Bless you! Congratulations on your award. You deserve it. You have been blessed and are educating this society to be more human.

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  23. Congratulations on your blog’s success! You are providing awareness and encouragement to lots of people.
    Now for your opinions on “To the Bone”, never apologize for speaking truth, for it is Truth that sets people free.

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  24. Caralyn, congratulations on your award AND thank you for your eloquent expression of your faithful and righteous indignation. Yours is a clarifying voice of reasoned and responsible rage. Again, my thanks.

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  25. Congratulations on your award! ❤️You’ve earned it. I can tell you that your posts have helped me in my recovery journey. And I’m also glad you wrote this post. I always felt funny reading about “To The Bone,” because I knew about Collin’s struggle with anorexia. This movie could have been done right…but now it’s just another trigger 🙄

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  26. Oh I am sending you so much love and Light. ❤ I also want to congratulate you on being 10 years into your recovery. That's a big deal and huge accomplishment.

    I'm offering a complimentary online webinar today "Self-Forgiveness and A Healthy Body" @ 12noon PDT. You are welcome to join in. Very sweet event with keys to continue forgiving, accepting, and imaging positive love.

    Register here: https://zoom.us/meeting/register/743a4cdca3fe34fa34538d7d4481ef37

    No worries if not. Just called to share with you and to serve. 🙂 BLESSINGS xo Debbie

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      1. Thanks! It should be really beautiful. Sending you ever so many blessings. ❤
        ~Love, Debbie
        ps – I plan to read a quote from a book by Marc David called Nourishing Wisdom, do you know it? Anyway he's affirming his relationship with his body and writes:
        "I recognize that at its deepest level eating is an affirmation of life. Each time I eat I agree somewhere inside to continue life on earth. I acknowledge that this choice to eat is a fundamental act of love and nourishment, a true celebration of my existence." -p 185

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  28. Congratulations on being in the top 25. Keep shouting your message from every rooftop. As you can see people are coming along your side, keep going. Keep close to God and He will see you through.

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  30. I think the problem is inherent because movies are supposed to be entertaining, and there’s nothing entertaining about an eating disorder, so they actually end up doing more harm than good. It would probably be better as a serious docudrama with real interviews, etc.
    And congratulations on your award! You’re doing a really good thing here. Blessings.

    Like

    1. Thanks so much Mel. You’re right – nothing entertaining at all. And frankly it’s just plain cruel to turn someone else’s suffering into entertainment. Thanks for stopping by! Have a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Congratulations on making it to the top 25 on the web! Thank you for being bold enough to share your journey recovering from ED. I lived my share battling depression, over dieting and over excising to deal with my inner pain. That was in my 30s and I am now almost 55! I started to follow you so I’ll be visiting your blog often. A while ago, you liked one of my poems. Thank You!!!

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  34. Movies like this always make me cringe, and as a writer with a film degree, I’ve discussed and analyzed a lot of them. The stories are romanticized, usually at the expense of the struggle; you know, what it’s really like to go through an eating disorder or whatever else they’re talking about. It’s not exactly the same, but I get similarly irked when I see movies about cancer—especially if it’s billed as a comedy. There’s nothing comedic about watching your dad waste away, and fatal diagnoses aren’t romantic either, Hollywood. So all of that to say: there has to be a better way. I’m all for fostering conversations, but we’ve got to do it in a way that communicates real truth, and also honors those who have gone and are going through whatever the ‘issue’ is.

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    1. thanks so much for this thoughtful response. you’re for right – cringeworthy for good reason. romanticizing and making entertainment out of another’s pain just is never okay. Gosh, that just breaks my heart about your insight on cancer. it’s so true – let’s be sensitive and honor the suffering of others. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

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  35. Glad to hear your perspective. While I’ve never dealt with ED or suicidal thoughts, my thought is this: why is another person’s misery entertainment for us? Shows like 13 Reasons Why and this new series you mention…I mean…a person’s sickness shouldn’t make us want to cuddle up with popcorn. Make sense? Hope so. Any who…congrats on your award! You’ve earned it ❤

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  37. Congratulations on your award—much deserved! I was really moved by your post Like a Woman Scorned; you’re a great woman.
    Also, many thanks for liking so many of my posts—that’s very encouraging.
    God bless you.
    Pascal.

    Like

  38. Have to say congratulations, and you should include that in your author bio when you finish your book. And wow, this is a tough one. I don’t know what to think of Netflix now. I’m hesitant to pass judgment on a movie or tv series, because some shows have been controversial at first but ended up creating awareness and being helpful to some people. Over time, will this be one of those cases? I hope so. But this is an inauspicious way to begin. I think you are right to avoid anything that triggers you. It’s a strange sort of seduction that some girls are vulnerable to, as you know better than I. When your book is published, it should definitely be made into a movie or TV show to correct the shortcomings this one seems to have.

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    1. Thanks so much David! Yeah, to be honest I’m pretty disappointed in Netflix right now with their recent negative portrayal of mental illness in 13 Reasons Why, and now this. Oh gosh, thanks for saying that. I am truly touched 🙂 big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  39. Congrats on making the Top 25. But even more, congrats for standing strong, for making a difference with your words, for educating and sharing and exuding compassion. You are one strong woman with a strong voice. Keep using it.

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  40. Wow! Lots of comments, What can I add? Well, first, congratulations on your Top 25 ranking. It’s well deserved. Second, I agree with your comments 100%. My daughter suffered from anorexia while she was in grade school and there’s absolutely nothing funny about it. Thanks be to God we stumbled on the right combination of therapist and nutritionist. Today she is just days from having her first child, something none of us thought would ever happen. God is good!

    I suffer from a similar disease, alcoholism. It’s also progressive and potentially fatal. As of this week I haven’t had a drink in 26 months (but who’s counting?) I can’t tell you how much I admire you for fighting this terrible disease and for having the courage to share your struggle, something I have a hard time with.

    God bless you and keep up the good work.

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    1. thank you so much!! And gosh, I’m so sorry that this resonates so personally with you. You’re right – absolutely nothing funny about it. Amen to that – I’m so glad that she is doing well and living in freedom! and having children!! God is good! Thanks for sharing your story. Congrats on your sobriety! That is such an accomplishment. And hard work. Cheering for you 🙂 big hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  41. 🙂 Congratulations ! You totally deserve that award! your blog is wonderful and so is your spirit x thanks for the words of warning on To The Bone, I’m sorry to hear you were triggered but I really respect you for speaking out on it and value your words x Em

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    1. Thank you so much Em! Gosh I am so touched by your kind words. Yeah, it was a really insensitive portrayal. My heart goes out to all those girls who are struggling and see it. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  42. Thanks for being a passionate and compassionate voice for this issue… Truly, I believe the hell you went through will be heaven’s life line for so many others. And congratulations on your top 25. Well deserved. Praying God opens many doors for you, and grants you divine favor in entering them! M. A.

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  44. You hit the nail on the head with this. Thank you for speaking up. I found no part of that trailer funny, and I find it disgusting that a disease that kills people is made out to be the star in a comedy movie. People like us just need to keeping speaking out about the reality of eating disorders – that way we can raise accurate awareness about them.

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  45. Amen, Big Congrats On Your Award! You Deserve All Of The Prosperity Coming To You 🙏🏾And Thank You For Being A Supporter Of My Blog, I Appreciate The Love You Spread!

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  47. I TOTALLY agree with this. When I first saw the trailer for “To the Bone” it instantly brought back the nightmarish flashbacks to when my life was stolen by anorexia. This movie will not only cause mental anguish for those who are struggling with this illness but it is also adding to the stigma that surrounds eating disorders, especially anorexia. Commodifying the horrors of mental illness is exploitive and disgracious to its sufferers.

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    1. Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection. I’m so sorry it hit close to home with you too. Yeah you’re so right – it’s perpetuating the stereotype. Thanks for sharing your story. Cheering for you:) Hugs and love xox

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  48. My jaw hit the floor with this trailer. How can they get so much wrong? I do want movies and shows and books and articles that talk about mental illness and eating disorders and all of the hard things, but these issues should never be glamourized or made light. I don’t get it.

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    1. Thanks so much Marie. Yeah, sooo much wrong. It just makes me so sad. You’re right – a dialogue is important but this was NOT the way to do it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

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  50. Congratulations on your Top 25 ranking Caralyn…your blog exudes so much positivity and inspires to the infinite degree. As for the Netflix show “To The Bone”, what can I say…that’s Hollywood for you. They saw how big of a reaction “13 Reasons Why” drew that they wanted to capitalize on that by exploring another problem in today’s society and glorifying it. They have no morals, only the $$$ drives their motivation. That’s all right, as long as we have you fighting the good fight and spreading your words through your blog, the message with get out. Fight the good fight until there is no fight left in you.

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    1. thank you so much Mark! I really appreciate your generous words about my blog. yeah…Hollywood – in the money business and not the mental health business. very true – $$$ Thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xox

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