247 thoughts on “The Bachelor Finale & The Disappearing Line of Decency”

1. So does this mean you will stop watching this show now? I’ve never watched it myself. Select few things I watch on the lobotomy box/boob tube.

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   1. Haha I’m going to try to stop watching!! Hold me to it, okay?! Haha Hugs and love xox

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      1. I WILL hold you to it! Hey do you check your DMs on IG? Omg…I’m acronyming e’r’thang like a Millenial! Bout to lose my Gen X card. 😂😂😂

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      2. 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼haha look at you with the abrievs! Haha I don’t typically. I should go through them though!

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      3. Ha! I figured as much. I sent you a few messages, but I imagine you get a GAZILLION DM’s, PM’s, emails, etc. I’m impressed with how quickly you seem to reply to EVERY blog comment. Just another reason we readers are so in love with you, Caralyn! XOXOXO 😁

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      4. Oh gosh you are too kind! I’ll check them out soon! Thank you for sending the messages!

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2. I didn’t watch the show and am glad I did not. It sounds like a hurtful show that was devastating to the victim. We have to watch our eye and ear gates or the garbage will lodge inside of us. Much better to do something that will enrich and give a sense of honor, truth and purity.

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   1. Yeah it was so hard to watch. Honestly i wish I didn’t. That is so true! Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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      1. Hugs and love, xox

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      2. ✨💛✨

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3. I no longer watch much TV except for the local weather, EWTN and on the RARE occasion I will watch Turner Classic Movies.. I also haven’t gone to see a movie at a theater in I don’t even know how many years.. 20?… TV, Movies etc are just like the society we now live in… Wicked, cold hearted, anything and I do mean anything for ratings. There are no boundaries there is no decency.. So, I stay far away from it..

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   1. Thanks Robyn. Yeah it sounds like you’ve got your head on straight when it comes to tv! And oh classic movies! I haven’t seen many but i think I may need to remedy that. No boundaries. That’s for dang sure. Hugs and love xox

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4. Never been a fan of the show or watched other than seeing previews and hearing other people talk about it. Always thought it was degrading for all the contestants. As far as what the industry puts out these days; it’s really sad. Where are our morals these days?

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   1. Thanks for this reflection. So true. So so true. It really is sad. We need Mr. Rogers in our lives again! Hugs and love xox

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5. BOOO! for ABC! I’m glad I didn’t see it. Excellent post.

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   1. I know, it really made me physically sick to my stomach to watch. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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6. I don’t watch the show but they were talking about it this morning on the radio…while it all sounded very unpleasant for the woman involved, at least at the time, is sounds like she isn’t all that broke up about it since she will be (apparently) the next bachelorette and her 15 minutes of “fame” will continue. The whole premise of the show seems to be set up for voyeurism and debauchery…

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   1. Yeah that’s a great point. My dad brought that up too when i shared this post with him. Once again— if the money is right….Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

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7. That is just so messed up.

   That sort of thing should have been between him and her, not broadcast on tv like that. IT unfortunately says a lot about the kind of person he is that he’d agree to filming it. 😦

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   1. Messed up on another level! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I know – I mean, it’s one thing to break up with someone. That is understandable. But to blindside her and do it on national television – manipulative and so uncaring. Who knows, maybe he’s trapped in a super strict contract? Maybe the producers manipulated him into truly believing it was the kind thing to do for Becca. Who really knows. But it was just not right. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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      1. It’s even possible that the producers told him to pull a switch like that for additional drama/ratings. Which just makes the whole thi g even ickier. 😦

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      2. I know. So icky

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8. BAM! Another well placed smack against the moral free fall America is in.
   Great job!

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   1. Thanks so much Roland. I really appreciate your support 🙂 a free fall for sure!! Hugs and love xox

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9. Way back in the day it was the Monica Lewinsky scandal. She was blamed, held accountable, shamed, bullied, and treated like a slut. We as a culture, no, we as human beings are capable of such horrible things. We watch train wrecks with awestruck interest, we’re glued to whatever media of the day actively/passively participating in whatever event. In a way with the visual immediacy this is worse than ever. In a way nothing has truly changed from the earliest parts of history. Think about people watching the Roman crucifixions, or stoning people, drowning supposed witches, hanging people in the town square.
   We are also capable of great beauty. We don’t seem to elevate and join in that as much as something/anything salacious.
   I am as guilty as the next person in this. I’m ashamed as this denigrates the human person in so many ways. And this is not what I want to do. Oh there’s a good Saint quote here that is escaping me at the moment.
   I long to add to the beauty in the world and yet, can wax on and on and on about times I’ve failed miserably.
   I long to add grace to the world, and yet
   I long to add patience,
   kindness,
   holiness,
   peace

   oh Lord have mercy!

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   1. Oh boy – yeah. That definitely broke through some media barriers in its own right! Parents having to explain to kids what “that” was. You bring up so many great points – the more scandalous, the more we can’t look away. I’m guilty too. And you’re right – it all comes down to the sanctity of human life. You have a beautiful heart, Teri. Thanks for sharing! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Caralyn I’m going to be in the City tomorrow, would you like to meet for coffee?

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      2. Hi Teri! Oh gosh thank you for the invitation! Unfortunately, I have a pretty jam packed day tomorrow with two auditions and dinner plans. Bummer! Perhaps a raincheck for the next time you’re in town!

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10. Umm: What’s the fascination in the first place? Really, I have no clue why anyone would watch this show.

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    1. Yeah, I guess it is a girl thing. I personally tune in because I love love and want to see people find love and happiness. I don’t know. Thanks for stopping by Brian! Hugs and love xox

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       1. But the pictures aren’t pictures of real people – they are fantasies. Don’t get me wrong – I loved Amelie, which is a silly farce, but it shows people as frail and imperfect. Loving somebody always involves ugliness, and is made sacred by commitment in the face of frustration and loss.

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       2. very true

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11. So why did you watch the #^* show the answer … you are an addict and the show is a drug the industry is a crime family and actors are prostitutes who sell themselves for fame and fortune. Get out while you still can.

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    1. Well that’s definitely one viewpoint!

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12. I cannot personally vouch for it, but I have heard from many people, including women in my faith study group, that Lucifer is a fabulous program that shows how easily people are led astray by the devil. They say it truly makes the viewer think about the things we do and the daily encounters we have that are far from innocent. I’m told that you, and the people in the show, actually like Lucifer, and that that’s precisely the point of the show–we all have a tendency toward allowing Satan into our lives. I plan on watching it but haven’t had the time. It’s definitely on my binge list!

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    1. Oh really?! Thanks for sharing that. I have never seen it and was judging a book by its cover – oops!!! Misleading name for sure. What an interesting premise. Thanks for sharing! Hugs and love xox

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13. By the way, my daughters all watch the Bachelor and were horrified by that episode.

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    1. Yeah, horrifying to say the least.

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14. Does it count that I deleted my Facebook account entirely. I am off. Ditto Instagram and Twitter. My wife is a super-straight laced individual. Her sense of propriety doesn’t view this show as voyeuristic.
    What is disturbing is that porn has lost its ability to shock. Hence the proliferation of sadomasochistic-themed material in the mainstream. More than ever, Holy Mother Church must reaffirm the doctrines around marriage, family and sex. NO compromising. The Holy Father made a grievous mistake on Amoris Laetitia. Virtue is, simply put, the means of survival in this evil, decadent world. I say this as one who spent his adult life treating the marriage vows lightly until I converted to Catholicism. I know what a mess it is out there.

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    1. It really is a mess out there. Thanks for sharing this perspective David. Lots of great – and sobering – points. Hugs and love xox

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       1. Thanks.

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       2. xoxox 🙂 🙂 🙂 xox

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15. I am not a fan of reality shows. Most seem to thrive on conflict. You thought this show was safe, but I guess not. Hollywood seems to think that its job is to knock down every rule and taboo. Even in Hollywood’s “golden age” look at the way divorce was normalized.

    We would all be better off not watching. If only we could cultivate better habits.

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    1. Thanks for this reflection JP. Yeah you’re right about that – whatever is the most shocking and scandalous gets the airtime. So sad. Hugs and love xox

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16. I hear you. And I’m proud to say that I have never once watched an episode of the Bachelor or the Bachelorette for that matter. I can’t stand most reality tv – Shark Tank would be the big exception. But normally when I’m subjected to reality tv, I just have a strong urge (not always controlled) to shout at the characters on the tv “stop humiliating yourself on national [global] television!” Yes, I blame the networks. Yes, I blame us as consumers (even those of us who don’t watch because we’re still part of society). But, I blame the participants too. I feel badly for this young woman, but I also feel that she has to take some responsibility – most of us do not get engaged as the result of a contest aired on television for the world to see.

    I do have to take issue with one series you mentioned. I know that several people think “13 Reasons Why” glorified suicide. As a parent of teenagers, I have another perspective. I don’t think there was anything glorious about the suicide episode – it was extremely hard to watch, particularly as a parent. But, I’m actually glad I watched the series. I did it because I wanted to understand the pressures that my sons and their female friends are subjected to as teenagers today. Sure, some of the issues illustrated were around when I was a kid. But, others were entirely unique to this generation. Technology has really changed everything. So I’m grateful that I had an opportunity to better understand what kids today are dealing with so that I have a better idea how to counsel my boys and also other family and friends. Also serve on a board for a non profit that works with kids with behavioral disorders. This series also helped me better understand what many of the clients we serve are dealing with. Many of these kids have attempted suicide… some multiple times. Just wanted you to have that perspective.

    XOXO,

    Misty

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I love shark tank too. Thanks Misty for sharing your heart and your insights. I’m glad 13RW had a positive impact for you and your boys. That’s awesome. Hugs and love xox

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17. Never seen the show, so can’t comment. Reading your post I think it was not worth it anyway. Surprised that you kept on. Did you lose the remote🙂🙂

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    1. Hahha I wish I could blame it on the remote! Nah just a sucker for a love story 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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18. You got it right, there is no line. But what’s funny is how those who destroy the lines of decency will look back years later, regretfully, shaking their heads at how invisible the lines are and even their own role in it all. Think of the #metoo movement, so many who are part of that looking back at the lines which were crossed in the Clinton years, which were crossed with their full support, speaking out now, 20+ years later, about how wrong it was. So many who defended the president at the time, “its only sex”, remember. Just like those who defend the current president.

    It does matter. It all matters. All we can do, as you say, is turn it off. Anything we do in support, is, well, support. Movies, tv, video games (aka school shooter training programs), have all crossed the line. We don’t even have to know where the line is to know that it’s been crossed.

    Question is…how do we put the toothpaste back in the tube??

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    1. Thanks for this thoughtful response John. You’re so right. It all matters. Amen to that. Such a great analogy. Hugs and love xox

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19. Many of these shows and movies are pathetic. Then again, people keep watching them. There are great movies out there. It is just people will not look at them. As for the Batchelor, in due time, he will be screwed. Oh, if Lauren has any common sense, she should realize that what he did to Becca, it will happen to her as well. As for prime time television, their ratings are declining, and they cannot figure out why although it is obvious to everyone else.

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    1. Yeah that’s a great point. if he’ll do it one, he’s capable of doing it again. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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       1. You are very welcome. Hugs and love back.

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       2. xoxo 🙂

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20. We used to watch the show when it first started. There was something sweet about the idea of how people fall in love, and even though it turned out to be something less sweet – I, like you – got caught up in it. Then, I realized the message that my children were getting from my interest – dating as entertainment, normalizing being physically active with so many different people in such a short time, developing an unhealthy foundation, and expecting such lavish dates – I decided it was time to stop. That’s not love! You don’t get to just give a rose and say it’s love. And, love is NOT a competition! So, . .
    I’m glad you realized it’s not as innocent and fun as it first seemed. Emotional manipulation and playing with real lives for entertainment – not cool. (Even if the men and women think they know what they signed up for.)

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    1. Hi Melissa, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! such great points – that emotional manipulation is not cool at all. thanks for stopping by! big hugs to you! xox

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21. I wrote about this show a while back on my blog post and I stopped watching it for a while and to be completely transparent I watched a couple of episodes in the beginning, but got busy and stopped for the same reasons stated above. I think you sup it very nicely and I will try my hardest to never watch this show. I am reminded of what God said which is “Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test & approve what God’s will is his good pleasing perfect will: Romans 12:2

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    1. That is such a powerful verse. and such a powerful reminder! yeah, it’s hard to not watch, i feel ya there! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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22. I mean I totally get what you’re saying about the bachelor and how the 5 corporate conglomerates that we have are controlling us and how we see our place in this world, but I felt that 13 reasons why, didn’t glamorize or sensationalize teen suicide. I saw thirteen reasons why as a big wake up call about the subject of mental health. While it was raw and graphic, I saw it as an amazing opportunity to bring to light how un-glamorous(if you will) these situations are and it portrays an honest depiction of what it’s like living with a mental illness. Mental illness is not glamorized in this show, it is shown as raw and honest. Have you seen the behind the scenes clips of the thirteen reasons why? Because watching those clips solidified my understanding of how and why the scenes were made, a breakdown of the making of the show, etc.

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    1. Hi Karen, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on 13RW. Those are definitely some powerful points. I will have to check out the behind the scenes footage. Thanks for passing that along, and for your thoughtful remarks! Hugs and love xox

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23. I have always hated reality TV. A good cop show, a clever comedy, legal show. Reality TV is full of what I can see walking down any street. People acting badly and someone enabling it or cheering

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    1. That’s a great point, Billy. Thanks for sharing that. I love a good comedy too. I loved Parks and Rec 🙂 hehe Hugs and love xox

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       1. Well I am Ron Swanson in real life lol

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       2. Hahaha

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24. I commend you for admitting to your disappointment in yourself for watching throughout! Best of luck on eliminating the temptation from your psychic sphere, truly.

    Laundry folding time usually means Netflix for me. For feel good reality-genre options in a morally battered world, I recommend Great British Baking Show and QE. The only emotional baggage attached, in my experience, is sentimentalism run amok!

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    1. Thanks Nichole. Ooh the british baking show! Sounds pretty awesome! I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for the recco!!! Hugs and love xox

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25. I stopped watching “The Bachelor” years ago because it became clear it was no longer about finding love. I am genuinely surprised to see how popular things like “50 Shades of Grey” and “Lucifer” are. I say surprised but not shocked. Because I’m not shocked. It was inevitable, I suppose, with the way some people react to things, like glamorizing suicide, eating disorders, and self cutting. And while I applaud celebrities for standing up for what’s right, I know the studios don’t because it isn’t profitable. Which is why things like that break up horror show you described are in existence.

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    1. these are great points. thank you for sharing. you’re right – i’m not shocked either. Hugs and love xox

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26. Agree on but Lucifer…its actually a comedy and not what I believe you think

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    1. Thanks! Yeah I’ve never seen it. Guess I should judge a book by its cover! Hugs and love xox

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27. “I am part of the problem” … “shop this look”
    ….. Homework ….
    Be human
    Nice people are the future

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    1. Yes they are 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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28. I quit watching TV a while ago because I was so unhappy and unsatisfied with what was on. I actually gave it away last year because I couldn’t remember the last time I turned it on. I think it was so the grandkids could watch cartoons. So I have no idea what the current TV shows commentary is. And I like it that way.

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    1. Yeah I feel ya there. Sounds like an awesome way to live! Hugs and love xox

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29. Ya that is gone a bit to far.

    BY FOR NOW

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    1. I agree!! Hugs and love xox

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30. I used to watch the show. I stopped several seasons ago because it felt more and more artificial to me. More like a ratings chase than any other thing.

    But I just happened to watch this past Monday. The only episode I hav e watched this season and, in fact, in a very long time. I watched it because my mom was watching it and I just wanted to sit with her.

    Like you, once I had started, I couldn’t stop watching it. But not because of the nosey consumption. It gave me a great opportunity to explain in part to my mom how my husband had abused and manipulated me in my marriage. I posted today on my blog about it.

    I agree with everything you said. And as long as there buyers, there will be sellers to fill that demand. In other words, yes, Hollywood and company push things on us. But we have the option to not buy what they’re offering. And unfortunately, there are people out there who delight in watching these things. They enjoy to see other people going through deceive, abuse, manipulation, degradation, being bullied, lied to, used, mocked…

    It affected you because you care, you’re a compassionate person, you feel empathy , and you wouldn’t like to be treated like that amd, as a result, you would not treat others like that. But many people hace gotten to the point that they are so unhappy in their lives, that they rejoice when other people suffer. Their lives are so empty that they live for frivolous social-media input in their lives.

    People look more at what happens on Facebook than right in front of their noses. Many people have for goal in their lives to become a Twitter celebrity. Yes. You read that right. It’s how some people are known now, like that young woman who got kicked out from a flight not long ago. They would say her name on the radio and add, ‘Twitter celebrity,’ like it was a title. What is that? A Twitter celebrity. Is that a goal to pursue in life? “What do you want to be when you grow up?” “A Twitter celebrity who also posts pictures of her butt on Instagram along with 10 selfies/hour a day.”

    I have scars on my body from my playing outside in my childhood. I doubt I can be an Instagram celebrity because of that. But the world looked very interesting from atop the highest tree I could climb, directly through my eyes and not a phone or camera in a drone. I lived. Are those Instagram cebrities living?

    I got carried away. Sorry.

    It is disgusting. And we still watch it. Guilty as charged.

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    1. Thanks Maria. Yeah this season felt like a ratings chase too. I’m so sorry to hear that about what you went through in your marriage. My heart goes out to you. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. You have a beautiful spirit. Hugs and love xox

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       1. Thank you! You’re too kind. Don’t change. 🤗

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       2. xoxoxoxoxo 🙂

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31. Hi Caralyn: You are right on in saying there is so much garbage on tv today. And even when a program may not be too bad, many times the blurbs for other programs are disgusting. The “god” of money has taken over in that area it seems also. It seems many in control of a number of the programs, seem to stretch the limits more each year.
    Perhaps I have no right in commenting, since I don’t watch any of those shows, but the commercials I see for some of them are disgraceful. Whatever happened to censor boards for tv programs, even for family or adult viewing?
    My major viewing habits are news, sports, some Christian church programs. Although, sometimes the news of the day is gory enough, but is real life, sorry to say, anyway.
    One of the principles I attempt to hold myself to, is, “Would I do this, watch this, say this, if my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ was here with me?”

    God Bless you, Caralyn,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️

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    1. Thank you so much George. So many great points here. Yeah, money has definitely become an all to prominent idol. Right!? Where has that board gone?! Love that principle! Hugs and love xox

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32. Exactly why I never watch shows like that, or TV in general really 😉

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    1. Thanks Mia, yeah that is very smart! Hugs and love xox

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33. Don’t watch any of that stuff. Haven’t had cable (or TV in general) for about 15 years now, for the very reasons you mention in your post….

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    1. Thanks for sharing that Scott. Yeah that’s smart! Hugs and love xox

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34. It’s utterly sadistic what ABC pulled on her. It’s bad enough that he’d leave her for the runner up (which may or may not be an indicator that he wasn’t genuinely loyal with her), but to allow ABC to capture his breakup with her on national television? That’s disgusting. Thank you for writing this, because we all need to stop lending even the tiniest bit of support to dehumanizing media such as this show.

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    1. Yeah it was so awful what they put her through. Thanks Connor. Hugs and love xox

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35. I’m glad you owned your complicity! I was about to yell at my computer screen – “So why did you keep watching?!?” But train wrecks are so often hard to look away from, aren’t they? After Julie and I cancelled cable, we went through some withdrawal. Very few of us have a clue as to what an addictive drug TV really is.

    A few additional thoughts at Patreon.

    My thoughts and prayers have been for you this week with the storm. I trust you have not lost power at any point! I remember some very fierce winters when in grad school in Detroit, huddled in my slum apartment. Very cold times! I’m sure yours is much better, but still not very new either!

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    1. Thanks Jeff – yeah it really is an addictive drug, that’s for sure. Thanks for the prayers! It actually turned out to be not so bad. It all had melted by noon today!!! Yikes! Sounds freezing! Hugs and love xox

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       1. So glad you’re OK. Reports on the weather channel made it sound so much wore than that! Another example of TV being, well, you know…

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       2. hahah no kidding. fear mongerers

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36. This is why Hallmark is my primary ‘go to’ channel (if I choose to watch any tv, giggles.) And don’t even get me started on the movie industry! I am quickly reminded of this with the recent release of A Wrinkle in Time! A few excerpts from recent reports: “Wrinkle in Time,” cultural critics are trying to look away from the movie’s problems and instead fawn over its politicized message. Marie Claire published a headline, “’A Wrinkle in Time’ isn’t a great movie, but that’s completely irrelevant.” (Really?????) And Director DuVernay was quoted as saying,“I don’t care what anybody thinks about it,” she told the Times. “I know it’s $100 million for the Disney studio. They’ll be fine.” (Does she live on our planet?) I am appalled that a Director would not “care what anybody thinks about it.” Does this mean Hollywood has become so brazen that they truly believe a consumer will PAY (with hard earned money,) to watch a substandard movie – because what they’re really interested in is discovering the Director/Producer/Studio’s personal political agenda? (Cra-Cra with a capital Cra!) Oh well, every time this arrogant attitude is affirmed from the Industry elite I gain more time & opportunity to read a really great book instead! Hugs & blessings to you Caralyn for posting on a topic which reinforces a great quote by Eldridge Cleaver: ‘There is no more neutrality in the world. You either have to be part of the solution, or you’re going to be part of the problem.’

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    1. Oh Dawn I am with you on the Hallmark movies! Bring them on!!! I especially love their Christmas movies 🙂 Wow that is pretty shocking. And arrogant on that director’s part! Wow. Just wow. Love that quote! Hugs and love xox

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37. One option is to be “TV free.”

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    1. Very true!! Great point Barton! Hugs and love xox

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38. Wow.
    I guess we all have to answer for what is going on.

    And yes, we can be responsible for at least ourselves – sometimes it’s hard to know what to do with the environment. It’s scope is so big, I feel helpless.

    Media is the same. It’s so big, what hope is there for my own action making a difference?

    There is no reward for integrity.

    Social media is the other one – it’s so easy to be cruel; how hard can I hit back, how scathing can I be in my comments?

    I’ll tell you something shocking though – the face of TV Evangelism in Africa is horrific also. It is breeding intolerance for others (not just outside Christianity, you should see the Presbyterians vs. Anglicans vs. Catholics vs Protestants vs Methodists vs Baptists, vs Prosperitarians vs……) and that intolerance is coming up as violence.

    It’s a great post – how do I exercise my better self?

    And then I’ll make popcorn just in time for the big ticket breakup.

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    1. Oh social media is the worst in that regard. Anonymous cruelty. Thank you for sharing tour thoughts on this 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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39. Think about the food you eat. If you ate the same salad every day, you would get bored with it and want to add something to it. Change the dressing? Add a new spice? a different kind of cheese? The point it, the salad just wouldn’t be satisfying any more. We get that way in all aspects of our lives. This is why we have to have change or growth in our jobs, new activities in our relationships, (even marriages), and so forth. So, when we turn on TV or go to the movie, if the same thing continues to come on, we get bored.
    Enter, the “spice rack”! Instead of finding something that is simply different and of morally valuable entertainment, it is faster (and likely less expensive with a higher profit), to use more sex and violence to grab the viewing audience and glue it to its collective chair for something the likes of which it has never seen! If it leaves people scarred or desensitized for life, who cares! Certainly not the people making the filth! Heck, it only fuels the need to “kick it up a notch”.
    This is one reason I watch my television and movies very selectively and why my YouTube videos are not extremely highly watched. (Let’s face it, not a lot of excitement in hearing a Baptist minister give Bible lessons on YouTube from a studio in his home office).
    If anyone thinks that the trend will turn the other way anytime soon, this has been the pipe-dream of people since the dawn of television. Those of us with strong, Christian values must simply stand by our beliefs and make sure we are not a part of the ever tempting allusion that this is normal.

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    1. Thanks for this thoughtful response! Lots of great points here. True – we’ve got be very selective!! So glad you stopped by!

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40. Agreed. I watched it too and it disgusted me! Super invasive, they didn’t need to show that. It should’ve been private and not for the world to see!

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    1. Suuuuuper invasive. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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41. I never watched the show, not because I thought it to be morally repugnant. I just thought it made a game of love. Love isn’t easy to come by, as far as meeting THE person and realizing you want to spend the rest of your life with them. You can’t choreograph that kind of thing.
    That being said, I wasn’t judgmental. If people wanted to go on that show and try, it was their choice. But what they did to this young lady is just abysmal. You’re right in asking if there even IS a line any more.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Abysmal is right!! Hugs and love xox

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       1. Thank you for sharing, and for always bringing a positive message. I’m sure you will find one in this otherwise regrettable episode.

          Peace to you

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       2. 🙂 xoxoxo

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       3. Have a great weekend!

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       4. same to you! xox

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42. Yup, this is exactly why I don’t watch The Bachelor. Beyond crossing the line of human decency, it creates this illusion of choice when it comes to love. The reality is, none of us have 30+ exceptionally attractive, romantically available bachelors or bachelorettes lined up for the picking. It portrays this fantasy that just doesn’t exist.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this! 🙂

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    1. Thanks for this response! yeah, that’s a great point!! Hugs and love xox

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43. I sat through it all, too. It was awful and I should have turned it off. I thought she was so wonderful on the after show; between donating to cancer and only wishing the best fot Arie after how he treated her. She reminded me the importance of forgivness, just like Jesus forgives me every single day.

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    1. yeah, she really acted with a lot of class. amen to that! Hugs and love xox

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44. I read somewhere that basically called those shows WWE without the wrestling. For myself, I am far too cynical to really think that anyone is really looking for “love.” To lightly come to Arie’s defense, I think that there’s too many machinations behind the scenes for me to think that he instigated the filming of the breakup. I mean, you can practically see the dollar signs bursting from Chris Harrison’s eyes in all of the awfulness. I ultimately don’t think that the backlash will be strong enough to change the show, and we’ll just continue to see garbage as bad as, if not worse than what was just aired.

    Speaking to your greater point, I think that we’ve passed over that line awhile ago, it’s just incredibly noticeable because it’s so loud and in your face in today’s society. The Bachelor has always been trashy exploitation, sex and violence have been fetishized for longer than I can remember, but the difference is that there doesn’t seem to be a strong cultural counter-balance any more. We’ve descended into an extremely hedonistic society, and I fear that there isn’t an end in sight.

    Keep up the amazing work 🙂

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    1. Hi Kevin! WWE without the wrestling — wow – that is pretty dang accurate! Thanks for sharing this powerful perspective. Hugs and love xox

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45. Never watched it and never cared to watch it exactly for the sentiments expressed in this post. Why anyone would want to splash their romantic comings and goings over the airwaves for all to see is beyond me. Sensationalism overtook decency and common sense long ago I’m afraid, and I’m not sure it can be reclaimed in the mainstream entertainment industry. Especially when the daily events at the White House has become reality TV.

    Very sad

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    1. Thanks for this reflection, Steve. Yeah media is in the business for sensationalism for sure. Hugs and love xox

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46. I don’t watch this show for many reasons, but that sounds appalling. I sincerely hope that you’ll tune out and watch something else.

    The thing about The Bachelor is that it’s so tone deaf. It is completely at odds with the equality moment for women. It pitches women against women and the prize is an engagement and wedding, not a marriage, it seems. It’s all set in a very unnatural setting. And the guy being in love with two women at once? Complete BS. In lust perhaps?

    And it places emphasis on marriage that seems unnecessary. Women don’t have to marry to be happy! I’m happily married but I was happy before I got married. It’s this archaic idea that that all females are good for is being married off. Yuck! Haven’t we moved pass this yet?

    Please watch something else! If my daughter grows up watching crap like this I ll feel that my husband and I failed somewhere along the way. 😂😂😂

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    1. thanks friend, for this thoughtful response. tone deaf indeed. hahaha yeah I’ll definitely be taking up a different show! Hugs and love xox

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       1. I just reread my rant. I’m glad you didn’t take it the wrong way. I’m definitely not saying there’s something wrong with you for watching it!! Have a great weekend!

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       2. no prob! same to you!! xox

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47. I haven’t watched The Bachelor, or the Bachelorette, for a few years now, but I’ll admit that for years, I watched it and other reality shows just like it; The Real Housewives of (insert all the cities), My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, etc., etc. Then, about a year ago, I was like, WTActualF am I watching!?

    It was a slow withdrawal, but I’m pretty much over it all at this point.

    These days, PBS is my jam. There’s so much great programming there!

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    1. Yeah, there’s so much questionable content out there. Another particularly crazy one I’ve only heard about and not seen – but sister wives? Like WHAT!?!?!?!?!?!? thanks for stopping yb! Hugs and love xox

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48. I agree with your premise of culling what yo watch, but if be careful touring the degradation of all media. I’ve avoided pretty much all that you mentioned on this blog. But there are some amazing movies and shows that are well worth promoting. Speechless, the ABC sitcom, promotes a different perspective on disabilities. Black Panther gives insight to black communities as well as a multitude of values like family and doing what is right even when what is wrong has been normalized. Honestly, I’ve never watched the Bachelor because I could get around the fact that these women when they get to a certain point tend to sleep with the same man in hopes of marrying him, knowing that he just slept with your roommates weeks to months before. It’s not really that romantic. I haven’t seen shape of water, but in an interview the director was talking about it as a metaphor for accepting people who are not like you, using the story of beauty and the beast as inspiration. He’s known for creating monsters in his movies in this way. But I don’t know to what lengths he took it in the movie.

    I have a degree in film and electronic media, so this is a definite interest of mine. There will always be the 50 shades type movies, and you are right, we do need to be intentional where we put our money, time, and attention. But I would have loved to see you mention some positive options as well in this post.

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    1. Hi Katy, thank you for this powerful perspective. you’re so right – there’s a lot of positive content out here. This is Us, comes to mind. As do other comedies that bring to light important issues – Blackish, Jane the Virgin, etc. I’m sorry I didn’t give more lip service to the good that is out there. big hugs xo

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49. This is exactly why I am having a difficult time being sensitive to the ‘Time’s Up’ and ‘Me Too’ movement when it comes to Hollywood. The same women on what appears to be a witch hunt are the same women who played out roles of over sexed femme fatales. For years the so called religious right has been taking it on the chin when trying to tell women to be aware of how they portray themselves publicly. Accused of being uptight and too controlling we/they were silenced in favor of Hollywood being allowed to be as debased as they wanted to be. Now, here comes the back lash as the pendulum swings back. Suddenly, everyone who participated in the on screen ‘orgies’ like the days of Caligula are now claiming to be ‘victims’. Of what? I ask. Of your own demands of supposed sexual freedom? From Jennifer Lopez nearly nude shaking ‘it’ it on stage to Nicole Kidman’s sex scene in Cold Mountain which gave the audience a gynecologist’s eye view of her lady business, Hollywood has been unfettered for far too long. The only way to bring it back into alignment is to stop feeding it… literally. I only watch certain movies and then, I only rent them for free from the library. yes, I have to wait a year to see them but hey, some people don’t eat meat, I don’t pay for movies. Dress modestly. Have you ever noticed that in most movies and t.v. shows the men all wear collars up to their necks and the women walk around with everything hanging out? Write letters, emails, and tweet, Facebook, Instagram, blog about it (as you already are but if you are reading this and you have social media sites but you have been silent, now is the time to speak up). Let your voice be heard. What is going on right now is incredibly hypocritical. People want gun control but do not look at the individual. What are they watching, reading, gaming? What are they eating? What kinds of meds are they on. It will take more than gun control to end the violence and more that a ‘Time’s Up’ fake tattoo to invoke change. Vices and pet sins are going to have to be given up. We will finally need to realize that that people CAN be influenced by media. Why do you think advertising works so well? We cannot afford to bury our heads in the sand and point fingers at the symptoms. We need to be brave enough to say ‘enough’.
    Another excellent, thought provoking post, Cara.

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    1. Stop feeding it — amen Melissa! thanks for your thoughts on this! so many great points. hugs xox

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50. I don’t watch The Bachelor, but I see the headlines. No doubt they were prepping Becca to be the next Bachelorette. I think the concept of both shows is pathetic. ABC has been going downhill for years, playing to the “Hollywood Norms” and steering further and further away from family values. There are only a few shows left that have any redeeming value whatsoever. Sadly, it doesn’t seem to matter what we watch as Hollywood seems to be its own machine generating money and viewership from its own pool. I’m rapidly losing respect for any Hollywood people who feel they have a “platform” other than acting. The list of what I won’t watch grows everyday, and it seems my list grows inversely as to what Hollywood continues to produce. I had a friend years ago that kept taking unnecessary chances with his life. I talked to him about crossing a line he couldn’t come back from. He told me he just wanted to walk up to the line an look over. The problem with that theory is the line will just keep moving, which is exactly what’s happening in Hollywood and all society right now. The line just keep moving until we fall off the cliff.

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts on this, Lisa. You’re right – they were definitely doing everything they could to garner support and sympathy for Becca, teeing her up for Bachelorette. Yep = the line will keep moving! hugs x

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