My BAD First Date

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OK! ONTO THE POST!

So I went on a date yesterday.

I know. Call the press. This is BIG.

haha Juuuuust kidding. But it was a bit of excitement for a weekday evening.

It was one of those things that I just made myself do.

I’m trying to be open to love, open to God’s plan for my life. And as you know, in recent months, I’ve finally begun the process of learning how to accept love.

It’s been a long and arduous journey, but here we are. Home stretch of 2018. It’s time for me to start dating.

And since Zac Efron is not in my direct proximity here in NYC, I decided to let one of my friends download a dating app onto my phone.

Which, I only agreed to because this particular one showed whether the guy is Christian or not — in addition to his age, job title and height.

So, I matched with this seemingly perfect guy: Christian. Incredible job. Former D1 collegiate athlete. Corner unit of a luxury high rise that overlooked lower Manhattan. And he legitimately looked like a Ken Doll. We’re talking — cheek bones that could cut glass and a jaw line that would make Ashton Kutcher jealous.

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I was expecting greatness.

And to be fair, I did have a great time. But more than that, I learned a lot about myself.

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We went to this swanky bar. I got all dressed up and felt a bit like a princess. The conversation, though not the most riveting…I mean hello – it was a first date — never lulled for a full two and a half hours.

And aside from dodging his attempt at a kiss goodnight with an extra enthusiastic, “I’M A HUGGER!” line — there was no awkwardness to speak of. I was a smooth operator. He even invited me out again this weekend.

But here’s the thing. This guy (who for the record doesn’t know this blog exists, or that I am even a writer) exhibited several red flags that I couldn’t help but take note of.

For starters, he dropped the F-Bomb within five minutes of our conversation. And then proceeded to use it 7 more times throughout the night. And yes – I was counting.

Look, I’m not looking for St. Michael. I don’t care if you curse. I have been known to throw around a few four letter words every now and then. But not on a first date. Be a gentleman. I am a lady, gosh darn it — show a little respect.

So that kinda got my radar up.

The nail in the coffin for me, though, was when he talked about how he recently took some hallucinogenic drugs at a music festival. And I’m not talking about weed. We’re talking get-you-locked-up, hard drug.

And he was bragging about it.

And again, to each his own. If a person chooses to take drugs – that’s their decision, and I am not going to judge them on it. But I can tell you, that that man will not be the father of my children.

But here’s the kicker.

This guy’s job is one that he can be randomly drug tested at any time. And if he fails that test, he would lose his job. Not like, oh just get another job. No. This is like, he’d never be able to work in his job field ever again.

So I was just blown away by how irresponsibly stupid his decision was to do that. Several times.

Red flag.

Big, bright, flashing red flag.

At the end of the night, coming home, I had a pit in my stomach. Because I knew I was going to have to let this guy down.

And the people pleaser in me hates disappointing people. Especially when it comes to personal matters.

But riding home in my Uber that night, I had an epiphany.

I finally realized what I deserved.

I finally saw my worth in a very tangible way.

Sure, this guy was great on paper. But the fact is: I deserve more than what this guy was offering. I deserve to be respected, and treated as the gem that I am. I am worth that.

I deserve to be in a relationship where trust is not an issue – where I don’t have to worry about the potential for drug abuse problems, or whether my husband will be able to stay clean, especially when there are children in the picture.

And look. Yes, I get it – it was a first date. Maybe you’re thinking, “Jeeze, getting ahead of yourself, much? Pump the breaks on the marriage and kids thoughts!”

Well, to that, I politely say, No.

Because here’s the deal: I’m not just dating to “date around” and “have fun.”

I’m looking for the man I’m supposed to marry.

And so you better believe that I will always always be evaluating him on that fact. And as soon as I don’t feel it anymore, I don’t want to waste my time, but more importantly, his time either by leading him on or letting things just stall because I’m afraid to hurt some feelings.

There is a man out there that God is preparing. He’s preparing my heart, and He’s preparing his. And I trust that He is going to bring him into my life at the precise time, when we both are ready.

Am I glad that I went yesterday?

Absolutely.

I learned that:
A) dating isn’t as scary as I thought it would be.
B) I’m actually not that bad at it.
and
C) I shouldn’t feel badly about not compromising my high standards, because I am worth it.

I’m no saint. You all know my sordid past, and all the skeletons in my closet that I will one day have to share with my future husband. So I fully understand and appreciate that compromise and understanding and grace are two-way streets. And I’m going to be so blessed and grateful for a man who will accept all of me, as I will him.

But I’m allowed to be choosy, and recognize any scary red flags when I see them.

Moral of the story: I’ve just got to keep putting myself in play. Because God will work His agenda, but I’ve gotta meet Him half way.

And finally FINALLY — maybe those dating apps just aren’t for me.

I think I’d rather be introduced by a friend. 🙂

How did you meet your significant other? What’s your best piece of dating advice? I’m ALL EARS! 

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456 thoughts on “My BAD First Date”

  1. Ummmm, potty mouth only gets worse! Sharing illegal info is a ‘run as fast as you can’, even take the heels off run. But seriously, my advise to my angel was to only date past the first date, someone whom you think God would choose to be your mate. And never be afraid to say, “Oh, I don’t use that language.”

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  2. Great post. As a father of five I pray that my children will exercise the kind of careful discernment you showed throughout the date. My wife and I met at a Christian college and developed a friendship that grew into a romance that is still growing and going strong 33 years later. The idea of romance blooming from friendship would be my biggest piece of advice for anyone who wants a rich and meaningful partnership for life. I also appreciate the fact that you want to date someone who is a Christian. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to be married to someone who doesn’t share in and believe the same way as I do about the most important relationship in my life.

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    1. Thank you Patrick. I appreciate you sharing this great insight. And what a beautiful love story! Congrats on 33 years! That’s really something to celebrate! Gives me great hope. I agree – faith is a nonnegotiable for me too! Hugs and love xox

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  3. I am a nobody but there was a post where I sympathized with the singleness train a while ago…well 27 years single(purely) and guess what…. I am getting married! We met 5 years ago and for 4 years I sat back and contemplated, observed(not creepily), and stayed in outer darkness of my dear fiances life…until one day I looked at this box full of gifts never given, notes never delivered and beautifully pure intentions and a tear stained page of Psalm 84:11(double check that)….God does not withold any good thing from those who walk uprightly. I witheld amazing gifts from an amazing woman for four coward years…well I stepped out in terrifying faith and setup a “meeting”. It started a journey of the most amazing season of my life with the wife for me. I chose to finally move in(yes I dropped that box bomb on the first date…miracle it didnt scare her away)

    All this to say…God chose to love those who in faith believe they can be loved……There is someone who loves or has loved you first believe that live in it. Before you know it you are the one loving right back, safe, secure and full of hope!….it helps to keep faces of faithfulness around (church crowd, friend groups, college alumni peeps, Coworkers, etc etc) btw people often take time to move in(4 years for instance)

    Just remember the Psalm Gods not holding back…but a man may be

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    1. Oh my goodness congratulations!! That is so exciting! I appreciate you sharing that with me. Gives me great hope. I am so touched by this encouragement. Big hugs to you xox

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  4. I was a charter member of Single Catholics Online, which is now Ave Maria Singles. I joined in early 1999, started corresponding with Rob later that year, and we married in 2002 at age 39. I don’t know how much it’s changed, but it’s specifically for faithful Catholics who are looking toward marriage rather than dating. There were lots of questions, from smoking/drinking/travel to movies/music to Catholic beliefs/favorite saint, etc. so it would be hard to fake. Only God could have found such a wonderful, Christ-like man for me. God bless you on your journey. I’ll pray for you.

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    1. Oh wow that’s awesome! And what a beautiful love story – thank you for sharing 🙂 I will definitely check it out! Thanks for your prayers! Means a lot! Hugs and love xox

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  6. I respect that you have clear red flags. Too often I see people accept behaviour that I know they think is unacceptable. They have lots of reasons for overlooking these things that they are in fact not overlooking (staring right in the face, actually), but they just don’t hold up.
    Good luck on finding someone and congratulations on the commercial. You do have a winning smile.

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    1. Thank you Anthony. You’re right – gotta be patient and keep my eyes peeled for those flags! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Keep these posts coming, I’m collecting notes to be certain my first date with you meets expectations! 🙂 Just kidding. Haven’t dated in a long time and I can see little has changed. Stay true to yourself always.

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  9. Wow. I really enjoyed that you illustrated perfectly ALL the WRONG behaviors/traits for any would-be interest of a Christian woman! I think God revealed this man’s poor character purposely to protect you. Find a man who strives to be lead by Jesus.

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    1. Thank you friend! I appreciate your encouraging words. I think you’re right about that – God will always show us the way! Hugs and love xox

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  12. I tried Tinder… I know, supposed to be a hookup app, but for me it wasn’t. Met the future love of my life there. Met a whole bunch of kther women who I will gladly be friends with. Here is the kicker for me- met my late wife via online dating and was married for close to 9 years, met the second love of my life the same way. People are people, like you said you just have to keep on on getting out there.

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    1. Thank you so much Francois! Well hey! It was part of your love story, and that’s wonderful! Thank you for sharing your story – it really means a lot 🙂 big hugs xox

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  13. There’s this great episode of the Golden Girls in which Dorothy goes on a first date. She comes home and describes it to the other ladies thusly: “We went to a nice restaurant. The owner, who turned out to be his ex-wife, begged him to come back to her. She threw herself into his lap. There was a scene. I’m seeing him again on Friday.”

    Dorothy’s mom grabs her hand and says, “Pussycat, I’m not sure if you can tell a good date from a bad one, so let me help.” She slaps Dorothy’s hand playfully. “Bad date, Dorothy, bad date.”

    I’m glad you had this experience, and I have to agree the guy sounds less than kosher. Bragging about something that could singlehandedly destroy his career? Who does that?! It’s not smart, nor is it brag worthy.

    But you’ll find him next time!! I hope!! We both need good men! 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Meg! I’ve actually never seen golden girls, isn’t that wild?! So much wisdom there! Thanks for the encouragement! Yes! Hugs and love xox

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  14. Dear Caralyn
    You’ve made the right call; that man sounds like pure poison. Well done! God will bring you to the right man in His good time.
    I’ve been married forty-three years, and we’ve been through turbulent times together – but ultimately the tough times have just deepened our love.
    We met through a common interest in classical music. We rapidly became best friends, but we allowed most of a year to pass before deciding marriage was right for us.
    I think it’s very important to marry someone who will also be a friend. Marriage based on romance is wonderful, but romance brings ‘needs’ with it. Friendship can see past our own interests and needs. It gives us different ways of looking at difficulties that romance on its own can’t because we’re blinded by the needs that come with it.
    Finally, are you familiar with the Methodist’s covenant prayer? We all pray it to renew our commitment to our faith every January.
    It applies to marriage as a part of our Christian walk.

    I am no longer my own, but yours.
    Put me to what you will, rank me with whom you will;
    put me to doing, put me to suffering;
    let me be employed for you, or laid aside for you,
    exalted for you, or brought low for you;
    let me be full,
    let me be empty,
    let me have all things,
    let me have nothing:
    I freely and wholeheartedly yield all things
    to your pleasure and disposal.
    And now, glorious and blessed God,
    Father, Son and Holy Spirit,
    you are mine and I am yours. So be it.
    And the covenant now made on earth, let it be ratified in heaven.
    Amen.

    With much love
    Penny

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    1. Hi Penny, thank you so much for this thoughtful response! And gosh what a beautiful love story. Thank you for sharing that with me! 43 years! That’s really something to celebrate! Hugs and love xox

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  15. Be choosy because you are a child of God. And God has plans and is not yet done with you.

    See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And so we are! Now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.
    1 John 3:1-3

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  16. I’ve been married for 41 years. We met in college in a sociology class. I had prayed for my future husband and knew in a short time that he was the one.
    Now for this young man that you went on a date with. I used to tell my children that walking into a church building will not make you a Christian any more than walking into a barn will make you a horse. It’s a heart thing. This man was registered on a Christian dating site- but his heart is no where near it. A real Christian man – you would be able to quickly see. You would be able to share your faith with, even on a first date. Do Christian men make mistakes? Sure. But this mans actions were showing blatantly that he was worldly-not Christian. You need not go out with him again. This is where you need to judge. If he asks why, then tell him truthfully and honestly. It could plant a much needed seed

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    1. Hi Krista! Wow, what a beautiful love story! Thank you for sharing that with me! Congrats on 41 years! So inspiring. 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  17. Every Friday night we do relationship formation chats with the older children. (Right now we’re reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye). Tonight I’ll definitely be sharing your blog with them, so my daughters-and sons- can know women like you, with a keen purpose and unafraid to stand for their morals and principles, exist outside of books. THANK YOU for sharing this!

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    1. Hi Celeste! Wow what an awesome thing to be instilling in your children! I’m honored that you would pass my blog along — thank you! Hugs and love xox

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  18. A valuable lesson is learnt when we recognise that there is a standard and for a Christian dating is about a lifetime commitment.
    One of the flags missed however, a Christian male living up to the standards you have set won’t be on a dating site, won’t have a personal profile or a deep online footprint. His feet are as the Apostle Peter said inside the prints of Christ.
    There are great qualities in many men, today it is hard to tease them out. Look for a partner – if you see yourself as the gemstone make certain the christian man you look for is setting your qualities off. Like “apples of gold in silver carvings”.
    A perfect man is impossible to find, your date seems alittle lost, immature and very clearly wants to be noticed but you can’t be a christian and walk that close to the edge.

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    1. Thank you so much friend 🙂 that’s really something powerful to think about. Lots to reflect on this weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  19. Glad you are discerning from a place of strength. So much damage in my life came from willingness to settle for who seemed available at various times. Better to be lonely, frustrated or anything else rather than compromise ourselves out of neediness.

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    1. Thank you friend for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you went through that. You’re right – never compromise! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Haha thank you Melissa. I appreciate it 🙂 yeah trying to stay clear of hot messes! I’m enough of one for the whole relationship! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  21. Loved this article! I was facing the same issues as you prior. So, I started going to these Young Adult Catholic groups looking for some more girlfriends since a lot of mine living in other states. The last thing I was looking for was a guy (because I found some cool girls and didn’t want that to get ruined)….and then I met my boyfriend haha. You do have to date to marry and it is good that you realize what you deserve. So many people don’t, but I think it is important to find someone who you see eye to eye to on values 🙂 Good luck! I know it will happen when it is right!

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    1. Hey Friend! Oh my gosh what a great story! I’m def going to check out the young adults group! We find love when we’re not looking for it! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  22. Absolutely date to marry! There is no other way 🙂 Don’t compromise your values and you are absolutely worth being respected. Any guy who doesn’t isn’t worth your time. Good for you on putting yourself out there and learning some very valuable lessons. Ironically, it was when I had stopped looking so hard for my future husband that God brought him into my life. We were actually introduced by my cousin. It wasn’t intentional on my cousin’s part, but worked out for the best 🙂 Now the other funny thing is, I had previously met my future husband when I was three years old, and he and his family almost moved to the part of the state where I lived. But they ended up moving a state away and if my cousin hadn’t taken a job with his family, I don’t know how we would have ever met. God truly does work in mysterious and wonderful ways. I couldn’t have orchestrated our meeting if I had tried. Seriously. It would have never happened! God is in control. Try your best to be patient, I know how hard it can be. ( I am one of the MOST impatient people I have ever known…) God Bless!

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    1. Thanks friend 🙂 I appreciate those encouraging words. Oh wow – just goes to show how God works in amazing ways! Yes! Thanks again! Hugs and love xox

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  23. I met my husband at a Young Adults Group at our church. I had tried Tinder before and Match.com but every time I met someone I liked there was always a lot of drama involved. Meeting at church gave my husband and I a safe space to get to know each other and we also made a great group of friends consisting of other young couples. It was also super easy to know that he shared my Christian values because we were both at church! Online dating has worked for two of my friends (both Christians who married Christian men) so I really think it is whatever works best for you. You are super smart not to compromise your values (I did that SO MANY TIMES and wish my younger self knew better). I think Andy Stanley says “Be the person you want to marry”… or something along those lines… and my husband always told me that was his dating motto. Keep putting yourself out there – you will meet a great guy!

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    1. Hi friend! Oh what a beautiful love story! Thank you for sharing that with me. Yeah I’m going to try the young adults group! I love that advice – be the person you want to marry. Amen! Hugs and love xox

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  24. Caralyn, I think it’s really great that you are dating purposefully. Little red flags turn into huge problems later. But at that point you’re too invested to get out painlessly. My best friend is dating and going through the painful process of breaking up with a guy who SEEMED nice and normal but was an undercover crazy pants. It is so smart of you to have high standards and listen to your gut (or the leading of the Holy Spirit!)
    I met my husband on a Christian dating site waaaayyy back in 2007. Plenty of fish. Neither one of us had paid for the membership so we had to chat on another site (Myspace, oh wow I feel old).
    On the very first date we talked about the important things. We were really aligned on who we were, what we believed, what we wanted out of life.
    I wouldn’t give up on the Christian dating apps just yet. You may have to weed through some frogs before you find your prince charming. There are downsides but it opens you up to so many possibilities. Like, would I have met my husband if I hadn’t been on that site? I’m sure God could have made a way but that’s what He used.

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    1. Hi friend! Thank you for the encouraging words. You’re right – they can escalate into big problems. And thank you for sharing your beautiful love story! Gives me great hope 🙂 every no is one closer to a yes! Hugs and love xox

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  26. My husband was a heavy drinker and recreational drug user. He knew I didn’t like it so changed as he wanted a family more.
    Festivals are notorious for drug use. Was he a habitual user?
    The swearing I could put down to nerves.
    Although I think you shouldn’t lower your standards, you know what you’re willing to put up with, I do think that people can change if they meet the right person. In a way I’m glad my husband had these experiences, when our kids start asking questions he will have first hand knowledge, so maybe they’ll listen to him more.
    We’ve been together ten years now, I didn’t tell him to change, I just told him that wasn’t my scene. He made choices for me and our family. Maybe some people just haven’t found the thing worth changing for yet.

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    1. Thank you so much for this powerful perspective. You’re so right – people can change. I mean, heck look at my past! So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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  27. There’s a difference in being a Christian and being a man or woman of God. It’s important to have standards because guarding my heart within dating is important. I am worth more than rubies and gold a treasure in God’s eyes and within my own. I love God and whom I am in God. I protect that and having standards and expectations within dating is important in loving yourself and others. Sounds like this guy needs prayers and like all of us…all have sinned and fallen sort of the glory of God-grace and mercy. Sounds like he was someone to minister to and not to date. Its important to identify and know the difference. Because getting into serious relationship to change the other person is not cool-thats Jesus/Holy Spirit’s job.
    Anyways…good for you in recognizing your worth and moving on.

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    1. Thank you so much Trish for this wonderful encouragement. You’re right – that’s the job of the Big Man!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  32. THIS IS WHAT I NEEDED! Everything you said in this blog post is so true. You deserve to have someone that respects you and doesn’t do ~shady~ things when their career could be destroyed because of one single random test. I’m in college right now, and sure, there are boys that I could go out with buttttt I’m waiting for someone really good to come around and sweep me off my feet because I deserve a good man darnit, and so do you!! Never settle for someone. I’m glad you learned a few things about yourself. Who knows, maybe your friends will introduce you to someone and things will be great 🙂

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    1. Hey Kara! Oh gosh thank you so much!! I’m so glad that this resonated with you. Oh gosh, yeah college dating can be tough, but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and know what you deserve!!! Big hugs to you love xox

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  33. Great you are able to slow your brakes and wait. I met my husband running an errand at lunch time, as were both walking in the same direction and when we reach a puddle of water; he slowed down got behind me and let me cross. A gentlemen. When he reached his street, he asked if I would call him and gave me a his business card. I liked that. We talked on the phone for about a month before we had lunch together, just wanted us to be friends and we did. And we are friends to this day, thirteen years later. I believing God your husband will find you and it will be worth the wait:).

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    1. Thanks so much! And thanks for sharing your beautiful love story! God used a puddle of water to bring you two together! Love it! Hugs and love xox

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  34. Good for you for noting and being offended by behavior you couldn’t live with – better to know this from the start.
    I met my husband, Marshall, through work. I interviewed him for a full page story in the Chicago Tribune. I I spoke with his references as well. It was a great way to ask all the questions and get the background on him before going out.

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    1. Thank you so much Mary 🙂 and thank you for sharing your love story! That’s so awesome! Yeah God was giving you a way to get to know Marshall in a big way! So cool! (And allow you to show him your awesome writing skills!) leave it to the Jesus to bring people together in such an awesome way! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  35. I’ll think of you. I am looking to get back to work. It may not be the right time. However, I keep trying different things, hoping that eventually I’ll find out what God’s plan is (and accepting I might have to wait). A bit like what you’re saying about dating. It’s difficult to keep on being open to new things and at the same time accept that this job I’m applying for or person I’m meeting right now may not be quite right.

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  36. What an awesome testament to how a person should stand up for what they want. I would tell you to pray but I know that you are already doing that so, I will pray for you as well that God will find that perfect God fearing man and place him in your path. Oh, and the dating app thing, yeah, trash it. Maybe I’m old fashioned…or just old, but I think it is still best to do things the old way, what that way is, I don’t know anymore lol been married too long now to remember (just celebrated 29 years!). Trust in the Lord and it will happen soon enough. God bless!

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    1. Thanks so much John! I really appreciate your prayers. And congrats on 29 years! That’s really something to celebrate! Hugs and love xox

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  37. Having been through the online dating journey myself, I truly do wish you all the best that God has to offer. My advice would be to hold your expectation very loosely of these apps. Expect it to fail you.

    Dating apps can place a sense of destiny in our hands as if we hold the power make our desires come true. So it’s natural to expect more than what it is capable delivering.

    But stay true to who you are and what you want. Don’t let any let downs and failures compromise God’s best for you. I look forward to seeing your journey ahead on this.

    Best,
    Frankie

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  38. First of all congrats! And good for you for recognizing what you want and deserve. Seriously I know so many women who to this day ignore all red flags and wind up with men who don’t treat them the way they want, let alone deserve. I was always one of those people who just would rather have been alone than settle.
    As for me, I saw him while I was out with friends and seriously something inside of me said “talk to him.” I’m normally really shy but there was just somerhing about him so I gathered my nerve and introduced myself. We are both shy so I’m glad I did.
    We are by no means perfect and he gets on my nerves sometimes and I know it’s vice versa. But on a normal day I feel very lucky and blessed and wouldn’t change him for the world. See he even makes me sappy lol.

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    1. Aw thank you so much for this thoughtful response! I appreciate you sharing your beautiful love story. Gives me great hope! Hugs and love xox

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  40. I can totally relate. The last date I had before I met my husband of 11 years was just like the guy you described. It took 2 beers just for him to start talking to me. When he did I wish he hadn’t. He bragged about all of his drunken adventures and how he was going to a party after our date. Thankfully I met my husband a few weeks later. Good luck 😁

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    1. Thanks so much Kat for sharing your experience. Oh gosh. And Congrats on 11 years! That’s really something to celebrate. 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  41. God bless you, girl! I get grace and kindness, BUT: Every Christian has a past, but where you draw the line is when they’re still living that way AND calling themselves Christians, or when the only thing they brag about is what put Jesus on the cross for them! He’s a spiritual child, don’t feel bad! Just don’t forget that the most important point of marriage is to find your spiritual match, watch out for each other, and that someone should make you better for Jesus than you could ever be without him, and vice versa. Remember that, okay? You and me both, waiting on our men!! 😀

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    1. Thank you so much friend. You’re so right about that. Everyone has a past. Heck look at mine!! They’re out there for us! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  42. You are wonderful!! I’m glad you can look out for yourself. Nothing is too small if it matters to you. I remember wishing and waiting for my man to come along and I put so much effort into it, it was exhausting. Finally, after what felt like forever, I met my husband in a college class. IIwasn’t impressed with him at first. He’s the one that did all the work to impress me. However, I later learned he was in show-off mode on our first few dates, and the things he did were totally turning me off. Things like being goofy in a scripture study class (totally thought he didn’t take scriptures seriously) and putting up this ego thing which later I learned he was one of the shyest/humble guys I could come across. So I am rather curious if this guy is always this way or if he thought you would like him to be that way. He may have just been trained to think that’s what girls like. It may be nice to see how a second date goes, since you guys had so much fun and had a great time talking.. however, it is always good to be on the side of caution. My aunt told me to just have fun and I eventually came to know the real man my husband is. We’ve been married for 12 years and 7 kids later.. ha! Good luck. I know one thing for sure, Good won’t let you mess up when you come across the person you are supposed to be with. Always stick to your standards. It is a good test to see if they are worth your time. 👍👍👍👍💗💗💗💗 Much love to you!!!

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    1. Aw thank you so much for this thoughtful response! And thank you for sharing your beautiful love story!! Gives me great hope 🙂 congrats on 12 years and your beautiful family! That’s really something to celebrate! Hugs and love xox

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  43. Good for you on not compromising. I see too many women do it to their own detriment and then wonder, “What happened?” Well, you didn’t think it through, is what happened. But you ARE thinking it through. And that’s how we should all go into dating and relationships. I met my husband through friends. We have our issues because we’re so opposite on so many things, but we make it work. If you still would like to try out a dating site, I’d suggest one geared very specifically to Catholics, not just Christians in general. Our church bulletin advertises a Catholic dating site called catholicsingles.com. I’ve never checked it out obviously, being married and all, but might be worth a look.

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    1. Thank you so much friend. And thanks for sharing your love story! That’s great advice- I’ll look into it! Thanks! Hugs and love xox

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  47. I met Kathleen at church, at a Catholic Young Adult group. We were friends for over a year before we even started dating. I knew she was the right one because she was one of the few people who could see past my image and know me as I really am. And then she still had faith in me, and holds me to the high standards I have always wished I could hold myself to.

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your beautiful love story! You two sound like an amazing match. 🙂 Hugs to you two! Xox

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  49. Hi Caralyn: You are certainly a BEAUTY beyond bones. You have a beautiful, sensitive, discerning, Godly God given spirit.
    I admire and thank you for not going for the second date. A person worthy of you does not talk the way that fellow talked. And if that “bragging” of using drugs etc. is thought by him to be a way to gain and hold a BEAUTIFUL young Christian lady’s attention, for his sake, I hope he grows up and matures.

    I have heard there are a number of Christian dating sites that non-Christian guys check, because that is the type of lady they desire for themselves, but they don’t want to live that lifestyle, but they want her to.

    I believe you won’t compromise your faith, your morals, your standards, your principles. Continue to hold them high, and live them daily for all to see. Then the man of God, that Holy Spirit is preparing for you, will see your Godly life as he sees you.

    God’s Blessings, TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL Caralyn,
    Luv, 😀❤️🌹😘

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    1. Hey George! Thank you for this wonderful response. I believe you’re right about that – God is preparing his heart and will bring us together in His perfect timing. Thank you for such affirming words of encouragement. I am so grateful 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  50. I met my husband through a dating app and he was the very first guy I actually had met in person from there. I think I was just a lucky person to have that happen. BUT I tried online dating a billion times before that. I don’t really have any advice because I know there wasn’t anything I did in particular that made it happen. I think t comes down to God’s timing. Hang in there! 🤗

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    1. Thank you Jasmine for sharing your love story! So inspiring! Thanks for the encouraging words:) Hugs and love xox

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