Two Years Fruitful

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’ve gotta tell ya, this day really snuck up on me this year.

December 27, 2018. The second year anniversary of my mom’s stroke.

Two years ago today, my parents and I were out to dinner at a nice restaurant downtown, when out of nowhere, my picture-of-health, 63-yea-old mother had a stroke that initially left her unable to speak, and unable to recognize me as her daughter.

I remember watching my dad carry her into the emergency room “Marissa Cooper-style” from the OC. I will never be able to rid that image of my lifeless mother from my mind.

Nor will I ever forget the way in which I pleaded with God in that hospital room, to save my mother and keep her alive.

Since then, thanks be to God, she has had a miraculous recovery. To the point that you wouldn’t even know she had a stroke in the first place.

The courage she has shown, the determination and fervor with which she has attacked her recovery, and the positive attitude she’s sustained through it all has left me incredibly inspired and in awe of this amazing woman I have the privilege of calling “mom.”

Since then, she and I have walked 80 miles on the El Camino de Santiago de Compostella as a pilgrimage of gratitude for her healing. She has traveled in the footsteps of Fr. Jacque Marquette – whom she saw in her near death experience vision. (Which you can listen to in this post.)

But more than that, she has reclaimed her life and is a living and breathing picture of God’s mercy and faithfulness.

In addition to my mom’s incredible transformation these past two years, I too, have undergone significant growth of my own, as a result of this impactful season for our family.

Two years ago, the young woman writing this blog was much different than the young woman sitting at the keyboard today.

There is a depth of faith, she possesses that can only be obtained through pitch black nights, without even the light of the moon to provide comfort.

There is a dependence on God that I have learned these past two years that I almost cannot put into words.

What began as a desperate pleading – bargaining – begging with God in that hospital room that night, just to keep her alive, has bloomed in to an absolute trust that transcends understanding, logic, and circumstance.

Days spent being strong, brave and anchored for my family, ended in silent tears on my pillow, filled with fear and heartbreak, anxiety, confusion, anger – the emotions I was hurling at God behind closed doors that year were so intense and so raw. And He took them all. Every day, nailing them to the cross that He had given me to carry that year.

But that’s the thing. We all go through seasons where we are given a particularly difficult cross to bear. No one is immune from it. It is part of our Christian walk.

“Whoever wants to be My disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow Me.” Luke 9:23

Day after day, Jesus would meet me in the morning, and give me the strength, hope and endurance to make it through the day.

Each day, calming my fear. Sustaining my emotional and spiritual exhaustion. Shouldering my anger. And blanketing me in peace, moment by moment, that He was in control. It was my job to trust Him. And to pass on the fruits of the spirit that He was providing me, even though I was unaware of it at the time.

It is only looking back, now, from a place of hindsight and gratitude, that I can see the gifts of the Holy Spirit all over that season of trying times.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22.

Love. – Every day, I woke up thinking that it was impossible for me to love my mom any more than I did in that very moment. Until, of course I woke up the following day.

Joy – The bright bursts of joy during that season were unparalleled. Be it dance parties in the kitchen. Tender moments that we shared because of the presentness we all had together, working towards the same goal.

Peace: Though tumultuous and full of uncertainty, most mornings brought with them the peace that everything was going to be okay. Maybe not right now, but somehow, I knew that whatever was to come, we would survive together.

Patience – This one stretched me, but was the most important. As I had to learn to breathe and offer the grace with which she had shown me my entire life.

Kindness – There was one thing that didn’t change in my mom after her stroke, and that was the kindness of her heart. It is her filter through which she sees the world. And then of course, seeing the kindness of her friends and our community, rallying around her. It was a beautiful thing.

Goodness – I witnessed first hand, the way in which God can take even the darkest of situations and bring about good from them. And the most beautiful example of this, is the blessing of time and togetherness that my family experienced as a result.

Faithfulness – Learning to depend on God in such a total and complete way – my faith had never been tested – or strengthened – more.

Gentleness – It was revealed to me just how gentle is the hand of the Father – and I saw that through the love of my earthly father. Seeing his heart through all of this. I have never been so inspired or in awe of him either.

And lastly, self-control – This one really was a gradual bell curve of a transformation. But learning to put my needs second was a shift that I was not used to, but that I now am grateful for.

All in all, every day brought with it new challenges and new lessons that were beautiful and full of grace, that I wouldn’t change for the world.

Because that’s the thing about our crosses.

They are beautiful in a very transcendent way. They force us to our absolute limit, only to reveal to us a beautiful truth that we couldn’t arrive at any other way.

Jesus showed us the way in this: somethings you have to endure, to allow true freedom and true transformation to occur.

We have to die to self, to live with Christ.

And that is what happened that year.

I know that Jesus is in control. And I know that He is going to give me everything I need to get through those seasons of desperation and fear. He gives us what we need. Sometimes it just takes a little time and distance to be able to see His hand at work.

The Holy Spirit was working overtime for me that season. What a blessing now, to be able to look back, with my healthy and thriving mom, and see the His fruits in our lives.

What a cause for praise and thanksgiving. What a Father we have.

Thank you, Jesus, for helping my mom, my family, and me, through our season of need. You are our divine Protector, poised and ready to get us through the storm. Waiting to shape our situation into an outcome of goodness and truth.

“For the Lord your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness; These forty years the LORD your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing.” Deuteronomy 2:7


Sign up below for my free newsletter!
Get my daily videos, recipes and posts delivered straight to your inbox!

[mc4wp_form id=”30616″]

Here was yesterday’s video! https://youtu.be/8pmp4ZI968A

A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

MAGIC TOOTHPASTE? Yes! I am in love with this superior whitening toothpaste. It keeps my smile sparkling, without sensitivity or bleach! I made a website where you can directly order this miracle product! So if you want to give it a try, you can go ahead and grab a tube for yourself. I promise, your smile will thank you! J

Get a tube!

Have you seen my latest FabFitFun video? Because…you should watch it. It’s pretty funny. And then order yourself a box with my code WINTERFUN for $10 off! 😉

Be sure to check out my affiliate, Audible. Listening to audiobooks while I cook is literally my new favorite thing. And just for you, they’re offering a Free 30-Day Trial Membership. And with this free membership, you’re going to get 2 free audiobooks! Literally. Free. It is the best deal ever. And if for some reason, you decide it’s not for you, you can cancel within those 30 days and it’s zero money out of your pocket, plus, you get to keep the 2 audiobooks. Soooo…it’s pretty much a no brainer. Plus, it’s a free and easy way to support this blog! So thank you!! 

Get Your Two Free Audiobooks! 

***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***

Click to order your copy!

STAY CONNECTED!

@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

For Podcast versions of my posts, please check out Patreon! It’s only $2 a month!! You make this blog possible 🙂

And really quickly, I’ve had several questions concerning my Amazon link (amazon.com/shop/beautybeyondbones) — You do not need to buy one of my specific highlighted products on my page, in order for it to “credit” my account. Any purchases that you search or make from anywhere on Amazon, after first visiting my Amazon page, will credit this blog and help support this blog ministry. I am truly so grateful and appreciative to those of you wanting to do so! So thank you! Again, it is an absolutely free, and easy way for you to help keep this blog going!

Published by

Unknown's avatar

beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

196 thoughts on “Two Years Fruitful”

  1. It is so inspiring to watch God work in the lives of young people. But it is even more so, when I watch you respond to Him as your Daddy and your Friend. You have understood relationship with Him, more than many people ever will. Isn’t He wonderful?

    Like

      1. Hi Caralyn…If I want to “press” you or reblog you, should I contact you? Not sure how all that works. What God is doing in your life often encourages me…Thanks for sharing your life. Donna

        Like

      2. Hi Donna! That’s so kind of you to say. Thank you – absolutely! I would be honored if you passed this along to your readers! Hugs and love xox

        Like

  7. Thank you for stopping by and liking my blog post, Caralyn. I haven’t read yours in quite awhile, so it was so special to read this beautiful post about your mom’s full recovery. I remember what a painful struggle it was for you at times. Your strong faith and trust in God have carried you through. I thank God with you for your mom’s recovery.

    Like

    1. Thanks so much Pauline 🙂 I really appreciate your friendship and support through it all. God has been very good to us! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  8. Caralyn, your site is a testimony of faith. My favorite fruit is JOY! My addictive behavior yields to self-control. That’s a tough one for me. Letting Jesus into my heart was the turning point after years of drunken dark years. You have a wonderful ministry, keep these wonderful messages coming. “Happy Healthy Eating New Year, my friend.”

    “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22.

    34 years sober thanks to God’s grace – ;-D an

    Like

    1. Thank you so much Dan! What a kind thing to say. Amen! I’m so glad you’ve found His light! God is so good! CONGRATULATIONS ON 34 YEARS!!! Holy cow that is something to celebrate!!!!!!!! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  9. Hope you have a great 2019 Carolyn! God really blesses your writing about your mother. Your love shines through, I thought how remarkable she was when she showed such great courage in the way she handled the photos of your early journey through anorexia. I was very ill with kidney issues following the birth of my daughter. I found those photos hard to look at but I decided to scrapbook them nonetheless. It was very healing for me to be able to put the more challenging photos in context. These things are so important. I am glad your beautiful mother has had such a blessed recovery.
    God bless.

    Like

    1. Thank you friend. Gosh what a kind thing to say. I’m glad you had that healing experience! God is good. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  12. Well done. May the Lord continue to keep your mom strong and vibrant. I chose the fruits of the spirit banners to brighten up Larison’s Corner. Must be something in the air. A friend is making the hangers as I write. So enjoy your refreshing blog. All the Lord’s blessings to you and your family this coming year.

    Like

  14. Hi Caralyn, I’m so grateful for your mom’s healing and to both of you sharing her story. It has been an inspiration and blessing to me in my healing process after my third stroke in November. I had an extensive medical history, and conditions that predispose me to blood clots and stroke. But God’s love and faithfulness are always the same for each of us. My past fifteen months have resembled your year in so many ways. I have also changed and grown spiritually in ways I never imagined. I, too, can say that I’m not the same person that I was before this began. Blessings to you and you’re mom. My kids are also very grateful that they didn’t lose me. Hugs and Love 😊❤ Mary

    Like

    1. thank you so much for these kind words, Mary, and for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to walk through that, but I’m so glad that you’re doing well and have found such growth in the process. I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers! hugs xox

      Like

      1. Thank you so much, Carolyn. You and your mom have truly blessed me. I also backed away from sharing my own journey on my blog and feel God’s prompting in this area. Especially after you shared about you and your mom walking “The Way”…one of my favorite movies.
        After contemplating my own health issues, I now see everything that I am living with as a part of my spiritual journey. Way beyond a laundry list of medical jargon and conditions.
        I’m very grateful for your prayers. Your blog is truly a. ministry. You are also very genuine, which is so important in any area of ministry. Again, blessings to you and your mom. I’m so grateful for her healing. xox Mary (formerly the senior clay crafter)

        Like

      2. Oh my gosh, i am truly so touched. That pilgrimage was the truly such a special time for us. Our spiritual journeys always lead us to where He wants us to be. Thank you again for such generous words. big big hugs xox

        Like

  17. December 27th is a very special date for me too because it was when, also 2 years ago, I started my recovery journey. Reading your blog, your story, your testimony, had much to do with it. The Spirit talked to me through you at that dark time. I’m so happy to see both me and your mother have blossomed since that day. I wish you both the happiest New Year!!

    Like

    1. Hi Paola, thank you so much for sharing that! COngratulations on two years! That is truly something to celebrate. And I am so touched that you would say that. Happy new year, dear friend! hugs xox

      Like

  20. I am so glad your mom came through the experience of a stroke unscathed … and you were there for her, with her, growing in the experience. Like you, I thank God each day for the love, joy and peace that are mine … and I ask Him for help with the other six. They don’t come quite as naturally! Thank you for sharing your experiences with us. You encourage us as you travel this challenging road of life. God bless you! Happy New Year!

    Like

  21. Thank you for your stories with such honesty and passion. I love reading your blog. You never fail to remind us that we are all growing within and every day we all have our own struggles or challenges to get through. Glad to hear about your journey.

    Like

  22. So glad your Mum is better. She looks fantastic. And thank you for sharing how you can look back and see God’s hand. Sometimes it’s so hard to trust God when it’s happening. We are having a relatively peaceful Christmas given all the ED challenges and I am very grateful for the rest.

    Like

  24. Encouraging and inspiring as always!
    Thank you for sharing your hard times so eloquently and especially the way they have increased your love for God – Father Son and Holy Spirit – and dependence on Him in the grittiness of everyday life.

    Like

  25. I “had church” while reading this post. God’s work in you is evident as I have read your blog and recently started watching the YouTube videos. You provide spiritual food while relating to a very broad audience. I thank God for you and the work He is doing in your life. I pray that God will give you even greater opportunities in this new year to be His spokesperson.

    Like

    1. Oh gosh I am humbled by your words. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. I honestly cannot begin to express how much that means. Thank you Michael. Praying for you too!! Hugs and love xox

      Like

    1. Thank you Erika 🙂 yeah she is beautiful inside and out! I’ll tell her that! You’ll make her day haha glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  29. So glad that you prove Jesus alive and with those that need Him. Just imagine being an “unbeliever” with no God to support you in difficult times, because as you said, these times will come. I urge anyone reading this blog and who doesn’t have this”Rock” for support, to consider following Him, Jesus, for he cares for you.

    Like

  30. I am so happy for you both. Sadly, I now find myself in these same circumstances with my own Mom. She too was doing well, driving etc a young 73 yr old and went in for a heart cath (due to low energy etc ) only to stroke on the table…doctor said she had clear arteries but his instrument must’ve made her stroke. (She was less than 1/2 of a percent. ) Within the hour, my mom became a child and unable to walk or use her left side. I’m still in shock I think! That was Oct 26, 2018, and the things I could share. We still have little progress as the “pieces” apparently lodged in her brain so now we are being told there’s not much hope. Meanwhile, she’s falling and getting hurt as my dad is took her from rehab and now is trying to take care of her in a large 1800 yr old, 2 flights up at their home an hour and a half from my home. He fights me on every decision and does the bare minimum, but he refuses to get help. Oh, and he can’t hear so what little convo we have is unbelievable. Trying to work with him has been so exhausting and has made our situation 10x more difficult than it has to be. Just SO much I could say! I’m struggling with these same feelings and asking God a lot of questions in regards to mom having gone through tremendous suffering with my dad previous to this. But, how interesting to think I found your blog and then your story with your mom previous to my own stories. I truly am thankful you now have your mom back. My mom is also my best friend and it just kills me to see her suffer. Any prayers would be much appreciated. I know you get it!❤️

    Like

    1. Oh my gosh I am so sorry to hear that! Oh friend, my heart is with you right now during this season. Hang in there. Keep crying out to God because He hears you and cares and is carrying you and your parents through this. I definitely hear that – parents can struggle too with getting older and losing their sense autonomy. Gosh my heart is with you. Praying for you and your parents so so so much!!!!! Hugs and love xox

      Like

Leave a reply to countryheartspark Cancel reply