Confession: I was one of the 5.1 million viewers who tuned in on Monday night to watch the three hour premiere episode of The Bachelor on ABC.
Yeah, you read that right: three HOURS.
And whether or not you tuned in like me, I’m sure you’ve heard, that the lead, Colton Underwood, is a virgin.
Photo: People 
Yep. The franchise has decided to build the entire season around his virginity, touting him “The Virgin Bachelor,” with the slogan, “What does he have to lose?”
And as you can imagine, along with all of the promos and trailers leading up to Monday night, Colton’s lack of sexual experience was front and center the entire episode. And sadly, the butt end of a lot of jokes.
Everyone in the media, in the press, – even the contestants on the show – are all having fun, frankly, at Colton’s expense.
And to be honest, I wasn’t planning on even watching this season. Every year, I say I’m going to quit my guilty pleasure. But sitting here as a fellow virgin, I felt a deep camaraderie and compassion, for this young man, that seemingly, the entire country is making fun of.
People are questioning his honesty – baffled that he could be an attractive 26 year old man and former professional football player, and still be a virgin.
People are questioning his sexuality, convinced that he’s gay, because he hasn’t had sex yet.
He’s become a source of voyeuristic fascination, and quite honestly, enough is enough.
And the premiere episode of the show was no different. The innuendos were a dime a dozen.
The limo exits — let’s just say virginity was the theme of the night. One young woman brought a cherry-shaped ballon for him, that she then “popped.” Another brought handcuffs for…”later.” One performed a magic trick that involved stealing his “V Card.” Another bragged that she hadn’t dated a virgin since she was 12 years old. And still yet, one dressed as a sloth, because he liked to “take it slow.”
The whole night just left me feeling icky: Women jockeying to be the one to “take” his virginity, as though it were a prize to be conquered.
And the next morning, as a true Bachelor fan does, I was listening to the OG Bachelor recap podcast: The Ben and Ashley I “Almost Famous” Podcast, with Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti. Ben, being a former lead, and Ashley’s claim to Bachelor fame: being (the original) virgin contestant.
Well, I was listening to their podcast, and they both were voicing a similar disgust about the whole preoccupation with Colton’s virginity.
Ben said, “There’s one thing that’s really upsetting me…I don’t love that there’s women on the show saying ‘I’m going to take his virginity’ or ‘When he loses his virginity I’m gonna oil him up to try to get him hot and bothered and all that stuff. I feel really disgusted by that for some reason…We’re crossing a boundary and a line now, where this is something Colton’s held onto…It’s been a personal choice by him. I hate that there’s verbiage and people out there – on the show, and also that they’re playing it – that there’s women going ‘I’m gonna take his virginity.’ Think about what you’re saying there! What you’re saying is absolutely disgusting. And not okay with me. And I can’t quite put into words why it’s so upsetting. But I know when I watched the episode tonight, there’s something about it that just made me feel dirty.” (Minute 33:30)
Me too, Ben. Me too.
And so tonight, I’d like to offer one perspective, maybe, on why that is so upsetting. And share with you just what my virginity means to me.
Because, believe me, as a young woman, who is still proudly a card-carrying member of the V Card club, I have some thoughts.
The balloons, the jokes, the objectification and humiliation — why is that so upsetting, and leaves one feeling dirty?
Because Colton’s choice of virginity is a beautiful gift, but it also mirrors what Jesus did for us on the cross.
It is his choice, and my choice, but of course not everyone’s choice. I am not condemning other choices, but please do not make fun of mine.
Virginity is living out the vocation that Jesus called us to live: giving of ourselves in love to God and to others.
That which we are ridiculing and making fun of, is not only the very essence of our humanity, as God designed it, but also reflective of God, himself.
And follow me for just a few moments, if you may. Because, take it from this virgin, it’s important to me. There have been many temptations and really attractive opportunities to choose otherwise, but my virginity is an out growth of the foundation of my faith, so I invite you to just hear me out.
Here is what I believe: Who we are – women and men – we were made in the image of God. Our souls, our hearts and yes, our bodies — were created by God, in His image. And they’re temples of the Holy Spirit, dwelling in our hearts as children of God. And contrary to what secular society is trying to convince us, we were created, man and woman. God designed us to fit together perfectly, in a love that produces life: life giving love.
And if that rings a bell – it’s because that is the love of our Father. God is love. And the Father, Son and Holy Spirit — that Trinity — is both life giving, and life creating. Just like the love between man and woman.
Luke 22:19 “This is My body, given for you.” – Spoken by Jesus, right before He gave himself totally and completely in love, on the cross, for His bride, the Church.
And praise God for the new life: eternal life, that sacrifice produced.
To choose virginity, or abstinence, and responding to God’s call to protect that self-giving gift, is nothing to ridicule or trivialize or make fun of. It is a beautiful expression of love for God. A love that does not take lightly the dignity of another person. A love that, though yearning for union with another, will use this period abstinence to serve one’s brothers and sisters in Christ, in love; and to use that time to grow, in love, with the Father.
And once again, let me emphasize: I am certainly not judging choices other than virginity. I am simply sharing my faith on this. I am a small minority and I know it.
One thing I do know for sure, is this: we are all unconditionally loved by the Father. We are delighted in, and cherished, just as we are.
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I highly respect this. Though I grew up around others in the faith, I was not fully aware of what it meant to be a virgin early on. I lost my virginity young and for the longest believed sex to be key to any unity. When I came into the faith, I saw the beauty and respect of true love. It is indeed a choice and one we don’t or should take lightly. I respect the choice you make as well as others. God bless.
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Thanks so much friend, for sharing your story. I appreciate your encouraging words. Big hugs to you xox
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Thank you, as well. Keep sharing your own 🙂
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✨💛✨
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Kurangnya pengalaman seksual Colton menjadi perhatian utama di seluruh episode. Lalu kira-kira sampai berapa episode ? Juga maksud dari kurangnya pengalaman seksual, ini maksudnya apa ?
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🤗
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Colton’s lack of sexual experience was a major concern throughout the episode. Then how many episodes are there? Also what is meant by lack of sexual experience, what does this mean?
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It is going to be a reoccurring theme throughout the several month season. Hugs and love xox
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Awesome, I agree! I think it is beautiful when people save themselves for marriage. I just heard today that Tim Tebow proposed to his girlfriend. Tebow is a virgin too. He waited and stayed pure and God blessed him. I pray blessing over his marriage. Tebow is one cool dude…and I loved when he played for the Broncos here in Denver! God bless!
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Thank you Ryan, I appreciate your encouraging words! Oh that’s so great for Tim!! I will join you in that prayer for him! Hugs and love xox
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I was not a woman of faith when I gave myself to the first male I loved. I was 20-something and truly believed he loved me. I had an engagement ring and was working on wedding plans. Then, he found a girl with money who spent on him lavishly and he was gone.
Waiting is hard! I understand. I would choose to wait if I could go back and make the choice again. Every aspect of love is given to us by God and is precious ❤
How terrible of anyone that makes fun of those who choose to wait!! The acts you described would disgust me as well.
Keep being your wonderful self ❤
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. You’re so right – it is precious! I appreciate your encouraging words. Hugs and love xox
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Keep being YOUR wonderful self, Jackie!!
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Wonderful article, and wonderful perspective! Amen!
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Thank you so much, friend 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Excellent. Very excellent. You said everything exactly right. And personally, I don’t think you’re in the minority. I just think the “other choice” bunch is louder about their choices. We never hear about the good, only the bad. Also, your connection between what they think about God and how they’re acting is spot on. They don’t like Jesus and feel compelled to attack everything He stands for. Well done!
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Thank you Kenneth. Just trying to share an alternative viewpoint. Get another idea out there. Thanks for reading!! Hugs and love xox
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sad isn’t it that when someone doesn’t follow conventional rite of passage into adulthood that there is something wrong with them. I wouldn’t call it conventional to begin with I think the pressure to give up one’s virtue is a personal choice. I don’t judge people who are no virgins it would be nice to be treated with the same regard instead of being given strange looks and colourful comments. My view is that for those who go with the flow generally feel uncomfortable or threatened by those don’t. I don’t have the problem, they do.
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Thank you Chris, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this. I agree – we all should be treated the same no matter what! Hugs and love xox
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I used to watch the Bachelor, but then one of their spin-off shows lasted three hours (this was many years ago), and I lost my focus. The three hours killed my brain, and I haven’t watched it since. I’m glad you were able to survive the recent three-hour opener, though!
Yeah, I take offense at stuff like that, too. Sex should be holy and revered, not cheapened with cherry-popping balloons. Geez. Sadly, after the season, you can bet EVERYONE will be asking him if he and his selected woman have done it. [Eyeroll.]
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Hey Meg! Haha yeah they are famous for their marathon episodes haha I wish I could follow your lead! Amen to that! And ugh yes – cue the Eyeroll for sure! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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I don’t watch the show but going from your synopsis, my concern is that people are so focused on the physical of “who will be the first” versus who has the good character to win his heart and share his values. Hopefully, he has enough common sense to ditch the ones who were so focused on the wrong thing.
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That’s such a great point. There are so many more important things to consider! Hugs and love xox
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Well said. I am not a religious person, but you are right that this is a choice. I had my virginity until 28. I never kissed a girl until I was serious about my to-be wife. And I was told I was good looking. Besides, I don’t think women will get treated with dignity if they do what do many men did, “take” one’s virginity as if a human being is a prize.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yeah I didn’t like how the women were talking about it like that. Competition for that is not flattering to say the least. Hugs and love xox
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Omg I’ve never watched the bachelor before until this season. I only started watching it because it showed on HuluTV as a trending show so I decided to give it a shot. The entire time I was watching I was cringing. I hate how they made his virginity such a big deal. I wish more virgins would talk about there experience. Colton’s virginity is his personal opinion and shouldn’t have been discussed as much as it was. I will probably not watch the show again. Especially if it’s going to be anything like the first episode.
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Thanks so much Artra! Yeah the jokes and gimmicks were totally cringy for sure. I hope the episodes get better!! Hugs and love xox
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Yes. This.
I’m often assumed by others to be asexual, or possibly demisexual, because I don’t act on sexual attraction. I am neither. And the last woman I dated accused me of being secretly gay because I don’t get a raging boner every time I see her (which I think also is related to the fact that I instinctively suppress my attraction to people I don’t know well – I had only known her for 25 days when this conversation happened, and we never spoke again – because of having Josh Harris-ism force-fed to me through much of my 20s, but that’s a different story).
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Thank you friend. Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that people accuse you or question you. That’s not cool at all. These matters are so individual. Yeah 25 days is such a short amount of time!! Hugs and love xox
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Yes! Beautiful friend, you nailed it again. Keep writing. As always, love you!XO😄❤
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Hey there dear friend, gosh thank you. I was sooooo scared to publish this post – hence why it was so late! I went around and around and around. And finally i said, just do it!! Thanks for the encouragement! Love ya friend! Xox
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Good truth and encouragement is always the right choice and I am proud of you for bravely saying things that support and magnify Jesus. That is beautiful and even if it meets resistance, there will always be eternal rewards we can’t see yet that you will be grateful for later. And it is sweet obedience, fulfilling the great commission. Proud of you. Love you. Hugs!😄❤
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Thank you again. You are kind to say that. The great commission! Amen! I love the word commission – it communal and mission! We’re all on the journey towards heaven together! Hugs and love xox
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[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/01/10/the-virgin-bachelor-a-virgins-perspective/ […]
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Thanks, Tonya for the link up! Hugs and love xox
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From one virgin to another, this post is DEAD ON. I cringed my way through the premiere after countless mentions and jokes about his virginity. It’s unfortunate that people are judged as weird or gay or whatever just because they make a different decision than the grand majority – despite passing zero judgment unto others’ sexual experiences.
I’m not extremely religious and I’m not exactly saving myself for marriage. Similar to Colton, I want the relationship to have mutual love and respect, which unfortunately I have not found yet (all in due time). However, it’s something I’ve held on to for 24 years now and it’s almost more important to me now than it was 5 years ago. After waiting so long, I can’t give myself to just anyone!
Thanks for writing your thoughts! I’m with ya. I’ll have to check out Ben and Ashley’s podcast to hear their comments 🙂
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Hey friend, gosh thank you so much for your encouraging words! And for sharing your heart. I feel you there! As it grows with you, it gains importance in your heart!! Yes do! It’s a great podcast – very entertaining 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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when I heard he was a virgin I just grinned. WE NEED MORE MEN LIKE THIS !!!
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Haha right?! Thanks Marianne, glad you stopped by. Ps – love the enthusiasm 🙂 🙌🏼
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I totally agree with you!🙌🏻 I usually watch the bachelor/bachelorette every season when it comes on, but for this exact reason I won’t be watching it at all! I haven’t even watched the first episode this season because I knew that would be the main focus of the entire season. I don’t understand why they are make it a huge deal, especially when everyone knew about it on the last season!🤷🏼♀️
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Thanks so much Kylie!! Yeah they’re making it the center focus! It’s like come on, there’s so much more to this guy than his v card! Haha Hugs and love xox
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You’re welcome! That’s true! ☺️
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✨💛✨🤗🤗🤗
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Thank you so much for this post. As I’m entering my twenties, there are fewer and fewer people who are also still virgins. It’s hard not to not chase my own desires. But thank you for the reminder that I should be using this time to motivate me to take care of others. This post was such an encouragement!
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Hi Sami! Wow thank you so much for your kind words. I’m glad that this encouraged you! Yeah growing up is weird, isn’t it?!! Haha but seriously though!! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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Ok, I am putting this out there. I don’t think any Child of God should be watching these types of shows. They come close to porn and they glorify premarital sex. As you said we were made by God our body is His temple. We defile the temple by watching such.
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Thank you for this truth. That’s a really great point. Noted!! Hugs and love xox
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38 year old virgin here and yes, I know, 2 years shy of the big one. In this modern society, being someone who has chosen to remain celibate till the day he gets married, does raise quite a few eyebrows and dare I say it, comes with it own share of jokes and remarks.
My being a virgin does stem from my faith in Christ. Being brought up in a Christian home, I was often told that having sex before being married was wrong, is wrong… Of course it also saves you from a lot of trouble. I mean if you look at the amount women having children out of wed-lock. Look at the shame and ridicule they have to face. Look at the number of children that don’t know what it is like to have both parents around. Look at the crimes of abortion, etc. Look at the number of regrets in relationships.
Leaving out the faith factor, being a virgin in this modern world, does save us from having to join the ranks of those living with emotional pain, regrets and heartache.
I have never seen a single episode of the bachelor. Perhaps I’m missing something, but I was never a fan of reality tv shows. Way too much hyped up acting and drama for my taste. When I was growing up, Friends was all the rage. What I learned from Friends was that sex was just about physical attraction, whereas true love, something far deeper. It is possible to have sex with someone and not love them.
I suppose all those women who made those remarks on the show are only there for one thing, and you can be sure, its got nothing to do with love. If the Bachelor was truly about love, Colton’s virginity would never have been mentioned.
Ok.. for those reading this and wondering, being a virgin at my age is rather strange. Yes.. it is not normal. Why have I not found the right person yet? Is it really that hard? Well… Yes…
I’m not looking to get married to just any random person. If that’s the case, with my luck, she would probably look like a boiled horse with all the personality of a cactus. No.. I want to get married and live the rest of my life with the right person. I have faith that I will meet her; despite my age.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story! You brought up so many great and practical points here. Honestly, as much I love the bachelor, you’re not really missing much! Thank again for this powerful insight! Hugs and love xox
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@Julrxp: Your reply is spot on. I completely agree with what you are saying. However, I think that some heart break is necessary to grow as a person in order to become stronger. Being able to pick up the pieces just like in any struggle in life helps you grow emotionally. It’s hard to find “the one” on the first try but I know several who did! I found my husband quite quick but it wasn’t on the first try. It was fast though – within 3 months, probably because I had spent 21 years thinking deeply about what it was that I was looking for in a relationship. Sadly, many people think that they need to be with someone and it doesn’t matter who. I think that is why many people aren’t happy with their relationships. There is nothing wrong with choosing to be single. It’s a personal choice – but if you aren’t happy being single, you really have to ask yourself why and dig deeper. God bless xoxo
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@Hilary: Thanks for the reply. For me, being single means to be separate, unique and whole. We should remain so even when we are in a relationship. This ensures that our joy and life doesn’t depend on others; it depends on us.
However I do believe that there is a deep need for companionship. It probably stems of our society, our environment, our upbringing or even our own biological urges. Wherever it comes from, it is there and we can’t deny it; that’s why some of us are completely serious in our search.
I also agree that in every person’s life a little rain must fall. Life is full of disappointments are they help us grow, they help us build our character but they also baggage. It all depends on how you deal with disappointments. Some of us are good at picking up the pieces and moving on. Others drag their baggage into other relationships that follow and end up ruining them over and over again; making the same mistakes. I know this quite well; having my watched my own brother’s marriage fail and other relationships after. Now there’s even a child in Thailand who doesn’t know what it is like to have a loving father with her. It is a long story and hence why I choose not to rush into any form of a relationship; despite my age becoming an increasing factor.
True love exists.. In Singapore, I was privileged to witness a lady in her early to mid 40s get engaged. The interesting thing is that she was a victim of a terror attack in Bali and had major 3rd degree burns all over her body. Obviously I guess she felt that who would love someone so badly disfigured. Well there was someone and he turned up in correct time. I guess that they are now married for more than 10 years and they are really happy.
I believe the main article was focused on being a virgin in our modern society. I choose to be a virgin because my hope is that when I do finally meet Miss. Right, I hope to have a connection with her that is stronger and deeper than just physical. :))
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@Julrxp: thank you for replying to me! I honestly don’t know how to top that 😆 Completely agree with everything you said. Singapore is a beautiful country – I spent a couple weeks there last summer visiting some in-laws. And I agree. It is honestly never too late to find true love. My uncle married at age 50 and he seems happy too. I feel bad for those who think that love is primarily physical. Sex and intimacy should not be the primary component of a relationship and for those who think that way are in for a rude awakening… also, I feel that TV and media really emphasizes and portrays sex and relationships as glamorous. Society’s views in Canada (very much aligned with the US) do not resonate with me, personally. I’m traditional and boring. And I’m okay with that. I also like how you brought up the point of maintaining your own identity, whether single or not. I cannot stress how important it is to still remain authentic and have a strong sense of who you are. So so important. Thanks again for replying to me and taking the time to read this 🙂
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I liked your well written post… it resonated with my deep beliefs about making personal choices in-alignment with who we truly are or desire to be; our sense of “North”.
By necessity, this (your comments) applies to well beyond the choice to remain physical virgins…
Lifestyle choices; all personal choices, should be an individual decision and/or matter and no one should be or feel empowered to Judge or Bully another over such personal choices, which in-fact is what appears happened in this show…
I have never watched it and, based on your post, I don’t believe I’ve missed anything.
Love your posts so… keep going. 🙂
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Hey JP! Thank you so much for your thoughts on this! Yes! North! I completely agree – individual decisions for sure – ones that need to be respected! Hugs and love xox
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I am really amazed by your post today and I am happy I viewed it … I just hope people could understand the joy behind being a virgin and what that really means. Thanks
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Oh gosh thank you so much! So glad you stopped by!! Hugs and love xox
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Hey I just read your post to my 23 year old daughter and suggested she check out your blog
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Oh my gosh I am so honored!! Thank you so much Bruce! Hugs and love xox
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Great blog! =) Loving reading your blogs =) I also like your perspective in life =) God bless you always =)
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Thank you so much! Gosh what a kind thing to say! Grateful for you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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You’re welcome =) more blogs to right =) I’ve seen your tweet too. Is the blog that you said you need not to chicken out? hehe
God bless you always! =)
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✨💛✨ haha yep, this was the one!
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I commend you for being not a chicken haha (I am afraid of live chickens haha)
Anyway, continue to right admirable stories! =)
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Hahha thanks again
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You’re welcome 😉
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✨💛✨
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=)
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Great post! I don’t watch the show but the whole setup sounds very objectifying. It’s to sell the show but at the expense of the guy’s dignity. Glad you’re speaking up on this. I admire your faith and boldness.
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Thank you Johnzelle, yeah they’re definitely using that special part of him! Hugs and love xox
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Brave piece. Lovely that you feel so strongly and it is based in your faith. As you imply, people have no ‘right’ to lampoon and mock a life choice which is positive for the person who makes it. Never run with the crowd – why should the crowd be dominant?
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Hi Mari, thank you. Yeah I was terrified to push publish on this one. I agree – our life choices are simply that: our own individual choice! Hugs and love xox
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Amen!
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Thank you so much! Hugs and love xox
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Inspiring! I appreciate your boldness in taking an uncommon stand, especially a stand on your faith in Jesus. Sad to see us now celebrating what we should be mourning, and mourning what should be celebrated. All mixed up!
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Oh thank you so much! Yes this world can be a backwards place at times. Hugs and love xox
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Honoring the Father is something the world disdains because of their father, the Devil. They dishonor their own bodies while ignoring and hating their Creator. Misaligning & mischaracterizing love as only a physical response to external stimuli.
In honoring the Father you’re honoring your body by controlling those desires of the flesh.
Keep the faith & God Bless.
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Thank you friend. Yeah, the thief tries to steal our joy and our future and our soul. Grateful that God is greater! Hugs and love xox
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The episode left me feeling uncomfortable, too. Let me say, saving myself for my husband was a decision I am so glad I made. Something so sacred should not be constantly joked about, and it was hard watching! Thank you for sharing your perspective! Love Ben’s comment, too! I need to start listening to their podcast.
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Thank you so much Carly, for sharing your story. What a beautiful love story you and your husband have! Yeah it’s a great podcast! Hugs and love xox
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I stopped watching it years ago because of all the kissing and physical stuff that made it seem the only way to find love was to “get out there” and trade pieces of yourself for the chance to win a rose and ring. How could I tell my daughters to value themselves yet be entertained by such action. My oldest actually called me on it because I didn’t date yet I’d watch the show and she saw the disconnect between what I said I believed her what I was encouraging by viewing the show and keeping ratings up. So I stopped watching it.
My hope is that unlike other bachelorettes and such who have claimed this that he will choose to hold himself with integrity and not push the limits to where he may as well be having sex for all else he is doing. This sends the wrong message to people too.
When we get honest, it’s not just about the virginity but about the purity that goes along with it. However the new trend among some young adults is to all bit engage in actual physical intercourse and tout virginity. If they exploit his virginity but he is able, as a now public figure for many, to hold himself with integrity and make this truly about finding love versus ratings and a lot of close-to-sex, he’d actually be doing the show a favor.
I’m sure my mother will tell me all about it. She’s a super fan.
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Hey Shell! That’s such a great point. Especially with daughters – so true. Thank you ford hating such poignant and powerful thoughts. Lots of great stuff to mull over! Hugs and love xox
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Maybe the ageism detector in me is going crazy, but maybe there’s a certain level of ageism going on here? There just seems to be a certain expectation that you should be dating seriously by a certain age and lose your virginity by a certain age, and if you still are single and/or have your virginity by a certain age there must be something wrong with you (which isn’t the case, but that’s what society often tells us).
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Hey Brendan, that’s an interesting thought!! Hmm something to ponder for sure. Hugs and love xox
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Yep! Absolutely! And same to you!!!
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💛✨💛✨💛
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Incredible and one-of-a-kind gift you will your husband on your wedding night.
My wife and I raised our three sons to give the same gift to their wives on their wedding nights as well.
(So far so good! Only one of them is currently dating, one is focusing all his time on college baseball and graduating in May, and the third says “getting married takes to long.”)
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Thank you so much Ed. Wow – that’s so awesome about your sons! Sounds like you’re doing something right! Hugs and love xox
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Myself and my husband have been together now for almost 14 1/2 years. We only became what I will call true Christians 3 years ago. We live a life of abstinence. We live together but we sleep in different beds. Our relationship is very loving and based on respect. Many people would never understand this. We are very happy people. We don’t feel as if we are doing without or missing anything, contrary to what this world would have us believe. We are very devoted to God and to each other, and to helping make this world a better place. Don’t ever let this world make you feel bad for your choices! God Bless
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Thank you so much for sharing your story! Your closeness with God and one another is a beautiful thing 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Thievery of: innocence, beauty, dignity, womanhood, manhood, grace, things is rampant. This is theft of dignity at its “finest”. It’s both sickening and disheartening that we who are female find turnabout as fair play. It’s not fair play, it’s demeaning, demoralizing, and downright disgusting.
We are rightly outraged when women are raped; children are raped. We should be outraged. There ought not be excuses for this theft of dignity, this theft of self.
These women have begun the same kind of grooming that predators use when seeking out their child or women victims.
I hope at the end of all of this he chooses none of the above as each who mocked him will continue to take this from him rather allow him to give this gift of self to whomever he chooses and whomever is willing to give that gift of self to him in such a physically intimate way.
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Thank you so much Teri for this powerful powerful response. The dignity of women – and truly all people, and the family unit – is surely under attack in secular society. The world needs the Truth! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I hear what you are saying. “V” or not, America would be a better place if more people would carry the “D” card. Dignity.
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Hi Joy! Oh my gosh I LOVE THIS!! The Dignity Card! Let’s make that a thing! 👏🏼🙌🏼👏🏼🙌🏼👏🏼🙌🏼👏🏼 Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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Bless you sister. Thanks for sharing why you believe and practice your values with us. It means a lot that others like you find deep meaning in this. I like your reference to: Luke 22:19 “This is My body, given for you.” The world doesn’t understand why we value our bodies but in Christ we are made holy for him.
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Thank you so much friend for this encouragement. Amen! In Christ!! Hugs and love xox
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Bless you. Thanks for your sharing. It’s encouraging that you are willing to share with us what society does not understand or cherish. Btw, I like your reference to Luke 22:19 “This is My body, given for you.” Christ’s body is our body, and our bodies are Christ’s body. That’s really cool.
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Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. Yes! Isn’t that incredible when you really break it down like that?!! Hugs and love xox
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I think the Bachelor show is one of the worst reality shows out there. The fact that everyone is making fun of a personal choice annoys me, but Colten put himself out there and must be strong enough to handle the ridicule and judgments.
I applaud self-control and honoring the Lord with our bodies.
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Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, it certainly rubs me the wrong way too. We’ve gotta pray for Him! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I have questions about the motives of people who strive so hard to get on such tv shows.
Why are they there?
What happens if they “win” or “lose?”
What have been the experiences of previous participants, after the “game” is over?
It is hard enough to find real love without all the added attention and artifice. Once you have love, you will know it is lasting, and you will not need to watch any more.
Virginity has always been a choice for free people. But, there is life after;)
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Hey there Von! Those are great questions. Ones that truly reveal the motives behind the why. I would have to agree. Amen! Life after! Hugs and love xox
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I usually like your posts. But I’m not so fond of this one. You write as if chastity is one of many equally valid “choices”. It’s not-at least Biblically. You seem to be fearful of judging others by telling the truth. As if that were the most important value. Sorry, but that’s disappointing.
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Hi Spencer, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I think what you may be reading into, is that, I am not here to judge. We are all on our own journeys. And this topic is one that everyone is going to make their own decision on – and believe me, I recognize how difficult of a decision it is to make or keep or what have you. Emotion and love and getting caught up in the moment is a powerful force. I so get that. With this piece, I wanted to just share my decision, my heart and my faith on something that is very close and important to me, without casting any judgment on the decisions of others. Because who am I to do so? I’m sorry this piece was disappointing to you. “A spoonful of sugar” if you know what I mean 😉 I do appreciate you stopping by and being such a faithful reader and friend 🙂 I truly value this feedback! Hugs and love xox
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We watched the premiere on Hulu last night. Being able to fast forward through all of the non-show stuff was a small blessing. However, I totally agree with your take on this. It was sickening and over the top. God Bless You for your opinion and willingness to share this very personal decision with the world! Have a great day!
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Hi Todd, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Haha yeah lots of live party footage! I enjoyed the park city scene though, as the bar they were at is my all time favorite on Main Street and I frequent it when my family goes skiing! Over the top for sure. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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How sad and what a commentary on our society as a whole that his virginity was the subject of the entire show. It’s too bad that instead of focusing on what his virtues as a potential husband were, they were making jokes and innuendos. How utterly humiliating that must have been for him. Good for both of you for keeping that precious gift for your future spouse. My husband and I were both virgins before we married. And I really think we are doing our children and future children a disservice by being made to think we are in the minority. Granted, we were married almost 14 years ago now, but that pressure was still there. The pressure has definitely increased, and again, I think it’s a very sad commentary on our society and what it values. Stick to God’s values (as you do!), they are never changing 🙂 God Bless!
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah he was very brave for putting that out there. And thank you for sharing your story! What a beautiful love story you and your husband share! You’re right about that – it certainly shows society’s values! Hugs and love xox
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I, too am very disappointed that they are making him a national joke, although I cannot seem to be surprised! You are spot on! Praise the Lord for people who have restraint and carry their “v” card with honor and pride. I did until marriage and it was completely worth it bc God provided a virgin for me too.
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Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful love story! 🙂 how absolutely special. God is good. yeah it makes me sad to see him as the butt end of all those jokes! Hugs and love xox
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Than you for this message. Following God’s will for our lives is not always easy — as you point out — but it certainly is fulfilling! God bless.
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Thank you so much Ward. You’re right – difficult but fulfilling! Hugs and love xox
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All 3 of my girls are addicted to The Bachelor. All of them were truly disgusted by Monday’s show. My youngest, almost 18, is praying (literally) that this young man holds out for marriage. My cynical almost-20 and 23 year-olds are telling her it won’t happen. They’re positive that the entire point of this season is the build-up to watching him become “deflowered.” What a great message the show is delivering.
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Hey Amy! Thank you so much for this powerful response. Aww – yes! I will join her in that prayer! Yeah when you think about that, it really is disgusting and disappointing! Hugs and love xox
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What a beautiful gift you give to us in sharing, and to your husband in waiting. You are a delightful treasure. Sometimes the enemy draws attention to what the world values to humiliate those who remain pure, but it backfires. Instead we are awakened to our own desire to be treasured.
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Thank you so much Karisa! I really appreciate your kind words. Amen to that! Treasured! Hugs and love xox
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I don’t watch the Bachelor. That said, I do believe God can (and has) used Colten’s testimony and yours to share His intention and definition of what real love is. As Christians, that is our purpose and design to share His glory. Staying true to Him as Lord is challenging (to say the least) in today’s society; however, it is wonderful to know that God still has those who truly love and honor Hiim, particularly in the area of sexual purity!
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Hi Angie! Thank you so much for this encouraging response 🙂 you’re right about that! It is certainly challenging in today’s world! Hugs and love xox
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Hollywood types tend to mock real men like this one. We need more men like him.
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I would have to agree. He’s a great guy! Hugs and love xox
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