I’d like to first start off tonight by thanking you for your patience last week with my post.
You may have noticed that it was late in posting. And no, there wasn’t a glitch in the system. Nor was I eaten by sharks.
For the first time, in my entire blogging lifetime, I let fear get the best of me.
If you missed Thursday’s post, and you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about, I wrote a piece about my virginity. Monday night was the premiere episode of The Bachelor, and Colton Underwood, the lead, is being touted as The Virgin Bachelor. And naturally, as a fellow virgin, I wanted to share my two cents, as seemingly the entire country is making fun of this brave [and handsome] young man. You can read it here.
But I had gone around and around about publishing it all day. I felt in my soul, that it was one of my better blog posts, but I knew that publishing it could have some real negative repercussions. I could offend a lot of people. I could potentially hurt some people, or make them feel uncomfortable.
And 7pm – my publishing time – came…and it stared me in the face. And then it went. And I couldn’t bring myself to push “publish”, afraid of the possible negative consequences.
After all, my viral post about Trump…it cost me a few friendships that never recovered.
So defeated, deflated, and utterly disappointed in myself, I came to terms with the fact that I let fear win. And I went and met up with some friends at our local bar in Ohio, as I was leaving the following morning to fly back to NYC.
And I was one of the first ones to arrive, and I was talking to my dear, sweet, friend and she could tell my mind was unsettled about something. So I told her about the post, and she looked at me and said, “Absolutely publish it.” She said, “I wish I could have read something like that when I was in college.”
I think so often we let fear dictate our actions. We desire control, familiarity, guarantees, you name it — so we shy away from anything outside our comfort zones.
And how unfortunate is that?
What are we missing out on? What impact could we be making if we quit letting our fear determine our future?
Honestly, I think this is one foothold that the evil one likes to use to hold us back from pursuing the path that God has set before us. What a victory for him if he silences that which brings people together – that which spreads the Good News — that which ignites hope and faith and life-giving-love?
So what do we do?
Because if you ask the culture, they’ve got their answer all tee’d up: bravery.
Especially when it comes to young ladies, bravery is the buzz word of the moment. Reflected in movies, and songs, and tee-shirts. We’re led to believe that being brave is the antidote to fear.
But I’m here to tell you, that answer totally misses the mark.
The only way to truly fight fear, is to radically trust.
Bravery — it’s self-reliant. It’s: what I can do to control the situation. Depending on my strength, my wisdom, my preparedness, my power to manhandle the outcome.
When in fact, trust, is the humble powerhouse that does the opposite.
Trusting in God’s strength, God’s wisdom, preparedness, and power. Relying on His goodness to provide, as Father, for His beloved children.
“Do not fear, only believe.” – Mark 5:36
Now, I’m not a gambler, but I’d much rather place my bet on Him, than my feeble, earthly self.
When I first began my recovery from anorexia, it goes without saying that everyday presented a myriad of challenges and fears. Heck, I would wake up afraid.
But there was a little mantra that I adopted, that honestly, I have been incorporating into my life every day, ever since. And it is this:
There is nothing I will face today that Jesus and I can’t get through, together.
It is a nod to Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
My recovery – I was incapable of doing it on my own. Ask anyone who has struggled with an ED, or an addiction of any type – they will attest to this. I needed my Father. I needed a strength that was steadfast – yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Keeping my eyes firmly locked on Jesus, and radically trusting in His goodness, and firm plan for my life — only then could I face those seemingly insurmountable fears.
So there you go. Not exactly where I expected this blog post to go tonight, but then, when do I ever fully know where the Holy Spirit will lead?
Have a great night, friends.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
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