Confession: I was one of the 5.1 million viewers who tuned in on Monday night to watch the three hour premiere episode of The Bachelor on ABC.
Yeah, you read that right: three HOURS.
And whether or not you tuned in like me, I’m sure you’ve heard, that the lead, Colton Underwood, is a virgin.
Photo: People 
Yep. The franchise has decided to build the entire season around his virginity, touting him “The Virgin Bachelor,” with the slogan, “What does he have to lose?”
And as you can imagine, along with all of the promos and trailers leading up to Monday night, Colton’s lack of sexual experience was front and center the entire episode. And sadly, the butt end of a lot of jokes.
Everyone in the media, in the press, – even the contestants on the show – are all having fun, frankly, at Colton’s expense.
And to be honest, I wasn’t planning on even watching this season. Every year, I say I’m going to quit my guilty pleasure. But sitting here as a fellow virgin, I felt a deep camaraderie and compassion, for this young man, that seemingly, the entire country is making fun of.
People are questioning his honesty – baffled that he could be an attractive 26 year old man and former professional football player, and still be a virgin.
People are questioning his sexuality, convinced that he’s gay, because he hasn’t had sex yet.
He’s become a source of voyeuristic fascination, and quite honestly, enough is enough.
And the premiere episode of the show was no different. The innuendos were a dime a dozen.
The limo exits — let’s just say virginity was the theme of the night. One young woman brought a cherry-shaped ballon for him, that she then “popped.” Another brought handcuffs for…”later.” One performed a magic trick that involved stealing his “V Card.” Another bragged that she hadn’t dated a virgin since she was 12 years old. And still yet, one dressed as a sloth, because he liked to “take it slow.”
The whole night just left me feeling icky: Women jockeying to be the one to “take” his virginity, as though it were a prize to be conquered.
And the next morning, as a true Bachelor fan does, I was listening to the OG Bachelor recap podcast: The Ben and Ashley I “Almost Famous” Podcast, with Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti. Ben, being a former lead, and Ashley’s claim to Bachelor fame: being (the original) virgin contestant.
Well, I was listening to their podcast, and they both were voicing a similar disgust about the whole preoccupation with Colton’s virginity.
Ben said, “There’s one thing that’s really upsetting me…I don’t love that there’s women on the show saying ‘I’m going to take his virginity’ or ‘When he loses his virginity I’m gonna oil him up to try to get him hot and bothered and all that stuff. I feel really disgusted by that for some reason…We’re crossing a boundary and a line now, where this is something Colton’s held onto…It’s been a personal choice by him. I hate that there’s verbiage and people out there – on the show, and also that they’re playing it – that there’s women going ‘I’m gonna take his virginity.’ Think about what you’re saying there! What you’re saying is absolutely disgusting. And not okay with me. And I can’t quite put into words why it’s so upsetting. But I know when I watched the episode tonight, there’s something about it that just made me feel dirty.” (Minute 33:30)
Me too, Ben. Me too.
And so tonight, I’d like to offer one perspective, maybe, on why that is so upsetting. And share with you just what my virginity means to me.
Because, believe me, as a young woman, who is still proudly a card-carrying member of the V Card club, I have some thoughts.
The balloons, the jokes, the objectification and humiliation — why is that so upsetting, and leaves one feeling dirty?
Because Colton’s choice of virginity is a beautiful gift, but it also mirrors what Jesus did for us on the cross.
It is his choice, and my choice, but of course not everyone’s choice. I am not condemning other choices, but please do not make fun of mine.
Virginity is living out the vocation that Jesus called us to live: giving of ourselves in love to God and to others.
That which we are ridiculing and making fun of, is not only the very essence of our humanity, as God designed it, but also reflective of God, himself.
And follow me for just a few moments, if you may. Because, take it from this virgin, it’s important to me. There have been many temptations and really attractive opportunities to choose otherwise, but my virginity is an out growth of the foundation of my faith, so I invite you to just hear me out.
Here is what I believe: Who we are – women and men – we were made in the image of God. Our souls, our hearts and yes, our bodies — were created by God, in His image. And they’re temples of the Holy Spirit, dwelling in our hearts as children of God. And contrary to what secular society is trying to convince us, we were created, man and woman. God designed us to fit together perfectly, in a love that produces life: life giving love.
And if that rings a bell – it’s because that is the love of our Father. God is love. And the Father, Son and Holy Spirit — that Trinity — is both life giving, and life creating. Just like the love between man and woman.
Luke 22:19 “This is My body, given for you.” – Spoken by Jesus, right before He gave himself totally and completely in love, on the cross, for His bride, the Church.
And praise God for the new life: eternal life, that sacrifice produced.
To choose virginity, or abstinence, and responding to God’s call to protect that self-giving gift, is nothing to ridicule or trivialize or make fun of. It is a beautiful expression of love for God. A love that does not take lightly the dignity of another person. A love that, though yearning for union with another, will use this period abstinence to serve one’s brothers and sisters in Christ, in love; and to use that time to grow, in love, with the Father.
And once again, let me emphasize: I am certainly not judging choices other than virginity. I am simply sharing my faith on this. I am a small minority and I know it.
One thing I do know for sure, is this: we are all unconditionally loved by the Father. We are delighted in, and cherished, just as we are.
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BeautyBeyondBones 
Great insight. One of my heroes is Tim Tebow, another gifted man in athletics who chose to reveal his virginity and pump his faith. Courage to follow what you believe is in short supply today.
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Thank you so much Larry. Tim Tebow is such a great role model! Hugs and love xox
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Ah! Great post! Thank you for sharing your heart. If only people knew how truly precious purity is! By God’s grace, my husband and I waited to have sex until marriage…and the fight for purity continues in what we say, what we think, what we watch, and (of course) the relationships we have with others. But, it’s such a good, sweet fight because it requires deeper and deeper intimacy with Jesus.
My older sister always used to say that “boundaries preserve life.” How true. God’s boundaries aren’t there to keep us from having fun, they’re there so we can flourish in true love, holiness, and JOY! I love the parallel you made with us and Christ. I thought of how “for the joy set before Him [he] endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of God.” In suffering for the sake of the glory of God there is deep joy…because we know who our God is and we believe His promises will all be fulfilled.
We will be ONE with Him…and He has always, always been more than enough to satisfy.
Cheering you on!
Peace!
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Thank you so much Donielle! I really appreciate you sharing your story. What a beautiful love story you and your husband share! Yes! So we can flourish!! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for sharing! I admire your commitment. One regret I have is not waiting, which was my original desire in HS. I don’t watch the Bachelor, but it really was disturbing to read your account from the episode. I almost question why he would want to put himself in the position. I hope he stands firm and doesn’t give in to the sexual exploitations of the women AND producers. I worked in the industry years ago, and I remember the manipulation tactics used to make the shows interesting and exciting for the viewers.
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Hey friend! Thank you so much for sharing your story. Yeah the producers are really the forgotten factor here. They practically write the show with manipulation tactics. Now THAT is gross! Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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I didn’t watch the episode (may catch it later on a streaming service), but what you described the women doing and acting as they met him turned my stomach. Can you imagine if this was The Bachelorette and the woman was a virgin, and the men coming out of the limos put on a similar display? The uproar (I hope) would be tremendous. Colton should be treated with respect and dignity, period. Virginity isn’t something to be made fun of–it is a personal choice, an important choice, and in this day and age, a difficult choice given everything we’re surrounded with as a society. I understand the franchise likes to work an angle to drum up viewership, but what they have displayed thus far in this episode is absolutely disgusting. I hope there were some women who didn’t make his virginity a joke, or a goal, and the ones that did he discards as expediently as possible.
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Thank you so much Lisa, for your kind words. Yeah the uproar would be deafening. I agree. Really disappointing on ABC’s part! Hugs and love xox
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BBB:
Thank you for raising awareness on this issue! While I do not watch much television and missed this show, I know people have found it interesting. Let me offer a few insights.
Chastity in singleness used to be considered preparation for chastity in marriage. (See review: Single but not Alone: Soul Virgin at https://t2pneuma.net/2014/01/27/single-but-not-alone-soul-virgin/) Colton obviously takes marriage seriously.
Colton may also be aware of the downside of promiscuity. The most recent CDC report states:
Half of STDs are among young people ages 15 to 24 years. These infections can lead to long-term health consequences, such as infertility; they can facilitate HIV transmission; and they have stigmatized entire subgroups of Americans.
Cases reported for Syphilis, Chlamydia, and Gonorrhea rose 31 percent over the period from 2012 to 2017 showing infection among 2.3 million Americans in 2017 (https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats17/2017-STD-Surveillance-Report_CDC-clearance-9.10.18.pdf). In case you are wondering, women are more likely to be infected than men and as a consequence the infertility rates among women is rising.
While this is not a fun topic to raise, it is important to be fully informed before you become a statistic. The pastoral mentor that introduced me into youth ministry later died from AIDS, another un-fun topic. I only wish that I had been better informed back then.
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Thank you so much Stephen, for sharing your thoughts on this. Such powerful statistics! I’m sorry to hear that about your mentor. May he rest in peace. Hugs and love xox
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It took a while before I was willing to talk about my mentor, I guess, because being straight I did not want people reaching the wrong conclusions. I came clean, however, in 2017 when I published my memoir, Called Along the Way (www.T2Pneuma.com), where I explored my spiritual roots.
Returning, however, to the chastity discussion, I under-reported the risk to promiscuity in my comments above. Hepatitis and AIDS should both be listed as STDs today, but are not typically treated in the same statistics.
The CDC estimates that 1.1 million Americans are currently living with AIDS and about a third of them are women who contracted the disease from a partner, using a philandering husband or bisexual boyfriend. Another 3.5 million are infected with hepatitis C, which can also be transmitted to a partner. Adding 2.3+1.1+3.5 = 6.9 million ways you can get into trouble through promiscuity. If half of all STDs are caught by people 15-24 years of age, then we are talking about about 3 percent of that population having serious medical issues.
Ouch! I hope that I have not spoiled anyone’s weekend.
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Scary
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I haven’t owned a TV in years. I don’t pretend to be virtuous, though, in that I still watch movies on Amazon Prime. However, I do try to keep my satanic-Hollywood connection down to a roar.
Halfway thru your post i broke down in tears and had to stop and go back to finish it later. I was brainwashed-mind-controlled thru magazines, movies, TV, etc. as were so many others, sadly, into the ways of the world and fell for it all the way.
If I had my life to live over I’d try harder to hold out. I put it that way b/c someone here balked at the idea of sex w/o marriage being a choice and I agree, to a point. It’s like cigarettes. One is too many and 1,000 never enough.
Our twisted anti-Christ society holds out that 1 to the youth and then it’s the thousand that never seems to be enough. A “culture” addicted to sex.
Thank you so much for your blunt honesty, I do so appreciate it, as you give me hope for the human race. ” I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal.”
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Thank you so much Valerie, oh gosh – I’m sorry it brought up that swell of emotion. You’re so right – the world will do everything in its power to trap us in the its ways. I so appreciate you sharing your story. Grateful for you. Hugs and love xox
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I totally agree! It’s unfortunate that they are making the whole center of their season based on a personal choice he has made that absolutely has nothing to do with anyone else’s preference. I’m with you. I wish people would be more respectful instead of making fun. Sadly such is society. I loved what you shared about your own personal choice. God bless!
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Thank you so much Yvonne! You’re so right about that!! Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox
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So so good! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Isn’t it so like the world to mock his goal of purity? The world is such a dirty place sometimes that scorns the pure because it shines a light just on how depraved a place it can be sometimes. Here’s to making the difficult choice of sanctification daily, no matter the cost!
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Thank you so much Rachel! I really appreciate your encouraging words! Yes! To difficult choices!
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Hugs and love xox 🙂
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Bravo once again! “Virginity is living out the vocation that Jesus called us to live: giving of ourselves in love to God and to others”. You couldn’t have said it better. I find it hard to understand why these women, (I refuse to call them “ladies”), consider it a challenge to take this man’s virginity. For that matter, why do so many guys feel the same way? I, for one, if I were to find that I was dating a virgin at any age, would see that not only as a wonderful virtue but as one more reason to remain pure and abstinent myself in the relationship. While I may have tarnished my own life with wrong choices early on, this doesn’t mean that I should be party to doing the same to someone else.
As before, I commend you for remaining faithful to the man you will someday marry if the Lord sees that to be your calling. If not, you have remained pure for Him as He has called you to do.
Keep reminding yourself and others of this, dear. You are a lovely person serving God and through your message, many others.
Love and Blessings,
Jim
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Thank you 🙂 I appreciate your kind words of encouragement. hugs x
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To my wonder friend. Thank you for being the person that you are. Your stand is yours, your conviction is to be admired. As an old Dad, there are many conversations which would bring on needs for consideration. You stay where you are and remember that the most important factor is to know where you stand with your relationship with God. You are one to be Loved and admired. John
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Thank you so much John for sharing your thoughts and for offering so many nuggets of wisdom here. Yes! Our relationship with the Father! Hugs and love xox
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You are welcome
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✨💛✨
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I don’t watch any of those shows, but the overwhelming feeling I got when I read this post was that if the tables were turned, and there were a bunch of guys talking about “taking” a woman’s virginity, the creep factor would be off the charts, and the guys would be thought of in a negative light. One of my friends used to tell her teenaged kids, “You can always take the step to become what they are, but they can never go back in time to be what you are.”
I think yes, there are people who don’t understand the motivation to save that gift for your spouse, but there are also others who may have regrets about their life choices and can only make themselves feel better by mocking people for being strong in areas they themselves were not. You know how misery loves company.
Our middle son got engaged over Christmas, and he and his gal are planning an April wedding because they understand the temptation of “well, we’re going to be married anyway . . .” and they’re determined to do things right. When people express surprise at the close wedding date, we explain that the only people who have super-long engagements are usually the ones who are already sleeping together.
And honestly . . . he’s only 26? And they’re acting like he’s abnormal? I know a LOT of young adults who still carry their V card and it’s not even thought of as odd by anyone they know.
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Thanks so much Lynda. You’re so right about that! There would be outcry if it were reversed! Congrats on your son’s engagement. How very exciting! Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox
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There was a time not all that long ago that the women on this show would have been the ones facing ridicule. There is absolutely nothing wrong with holding on to your virginity; in fact, it actually used to be not only acceptable but expected. I hope that this young man and Tim Tebow set examples for how men can actually be.
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Thank you so much Diane for sharing your thoughts on this. Yes! Tim Tebow is another strong example! Hugs and love xox
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I was raised Catholic and saved myself for marriage, despite temptations along the way. I applaud Colton, Tim Tebow, and you for waiting for the right person and not believing sex is the only thing in life.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story, Stephanie. Yeah Tim Tebow is another great example for young me to look up to! Young women too, for that matter! Hugs and love xox
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G_d “designed us to fit together perfectly, in a love that produces life: life giving love.” I am sure that Mary and Joseph walked among whispers and jeers about their choice of chastity, for believing and following the request of the Creator. There is nothing in Scripture which suggests that loving as G_d as loves us will be easy in this world, but your faith in that loving G_d will make it doable.
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! You’re so right – I cannot imagine the gossip the endured back then! Hugs and love xox
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If you asked me, being a virgin, and having the guts to announce it should be something to be admired and respected instead of ridiculed. Unfortunately in this day and age, people applaud immorality and look down on someone who actually does the right thing. For that, I admire you and your integrity.
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I completely agree! Thank you so much Dave for your support. Hugs and love xox
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Dear Beauty:
Thank you for challenging the abuse this Man of Virtue has been called to endure.
Having moral values today should be applauded, not attacked.
Good on you for standing up for the right.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. Hugs and love xox
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Very well stated!
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Thank you Greg! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you Greg. Hugs and love xox
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Great post, my friend! Thank you for boldly speaking the truth! 🙂
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Thank you so much friend. Hugs and love xox
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Bravo! Yes, God created sex to mirror the covenant love that He has with his church. You are so wise for someone so young!
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Thank you so much for your affirming words! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you so much. Amen! Hugs and love xox
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ABC is kind of high on commercials and I’m not surprised a high earner was given three hours which would be close to an hour of commercials. Our parents and grandparents generations did things earlier but also had less of a relationship towards media itself. There were no Tide pods swallowed. There were actually 3x less virgins two generations ago in the same age range. High earning shows, influence their micro culture but think about the show itself. Paid contestants, agreeing to an arranged marriage. That’s wrong, on a lot of levels. Good news, you are among 14 million millennial virgins. I mean, if that was what you were also looking for.
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Thank you Kenzie. Yeah there was definitely a lot of ads that night! Wow what a statistic! Surprising and encouraging!
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Another point you seemed to make as a similarity to the show that virginity, outside of religion is seemingly less attractive. I seem to have the opposite effect myself. As once thought to be in love I’m looked down upon. If Hosea can marry someone like me, I guess anything is possible.
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I think you misunderstood me. Because I was not judging positively or negatively on anything. I was simply stating my own situation
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You’re angry about the misrepresentation of the Bachelor on virginity. Even in our own micro culture of religion it is represented as greater. So. I think I get it. You know my past. That’s where things lay. That the idea somehow, we can have the same religion but I’m somehow, unclean. Always.
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Thank you for clarifying. I am definitely not angry. Just a little disappointed
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Now you know what it’s like to be a minority. Everyday bro.
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Yes, Much resect
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No. But, you’re getting there.
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Ok 👌🏼
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Dear friend:
I was raised in a family oriented religion where immorality and divorce are not looked upon kindly.
I was married and divorced 3 times. Each of these women went outside the marriage to amuse themselves because I was apparently boring them.
The fact I remained virtuous and true to my marriage vows was in-consequential in the eyes of many in the church, and I have been looked upon as some kind of pariah.
I have related strongly with Hosea, and realized that I will be my own judge. We must work out our own relationship with God.
The fact is, those who judge us as unclean, are themselves revealing a lack of understanding, as we are judged as we judge others.
Only we can choose to be unclean, no matter the opinions of the world.
Do your best, and rely on the Atonement of Christ to make up the rest, and you in no wise will be disappointed when you stand before God to hear the glorious words: “Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter into the rest of your Lord.”
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I don’t watch this show. As someone who waited a very long time to lose my virginity who is now married with a toddler, losing one’s virginity is not a race. It bugs me that society places so much emphasis on sexuality and glamorizes apps like Tinder, TV, and magazines to name a few. I feel like virginity is a rare thing these days, which may explain why The Bachelor producers chose to make a season around it. However, this is not how real life works – these are unrealistic expectations. I bet that when he does “lose” his virginity, the relationship isn’t going to last. True love isn’t built on a TV show. True love takes time to grow and flourish. I think rushing into a relationship in a mere 15weeks? 13weeks? (How long is a season?) is a very bad idea with a very bad ending 💔
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Thank you so much Hilary, for sharing your story. You’re so right – it’s not a race! Amen! Hugs and love xox
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I don’t watch TV, so I hadn’t even heard about the new Bachelor, but that is so sad how the show is literally bashing on being a virgin… It sounds like they are rushing him to give himself away, as though that’s the only “right” and “normal” thing to do. But what’s “normal” is working to break down the family and the very definition of love in America.
I don’t know what kind of background the bachelor is coming from, but all we can do is pray that he stands his ground. Maybe, somehow, someway, a good message will come out of this craziness.
Thank you for sharing your story, and for reminding me why it’s so important to wait and to pursue Jesus first, foremost, and always.
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Thank you so much Sarah Jo for sharing your thoughts on this. Yes! I will join you in that prayer 🙂 I hope a good messages comes out of it too! Hugs and love xox
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Great post. I honestly believe that this is a prime example of how the current movement centered around respect and equality is not being used in its full spectrum. It’s wrong to “slut-shame” a woman, yet it’s okay to “virgin-shame” a man? It’s horrible and inexcusable. Toxic maaculinity is also wrong and disgusting, if there were a bunch of men morbidly suggesting taking the virginity of a woman via jokes and balloons (in this present time) it would be condemned as harassment and unacceptable. What they’re doing to him is gross and unacceptable as well and no network should get away with it.
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Thank you so much for your support, Elle. I agree – respect and dignity for every single person! Hugs and love xox
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Thanks for sharing that, I really like how you brought out that Gods love is a life giving love, and how we are made in his image! Thanks keep up the posts they are encouraging
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Thanks so much Dave! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this! Hugs and love xox
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We live in a society where losing your phone is more significant than losing your virginity. It saddens me. You’re a bright spot. – tsk
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Oh my gosh wow you’re right about that, Tony. Thanks xox
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I love visiting you in this place you’ve made … it’s an oasis and the well is your heart. I hope you will listen to my songs and find some spare beauty in the bones. – Tony
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Thank you again, Tony 🙂 yes!
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Certain sects of society today, or I could just str8 up say that a vast majority of society in the West, are always reminding people to accept differences or to be more sensitive to people with various “differences” yet that only seems to apply to certain groups with specific differences and that’s actually VERY hypocritical.
These folks also heavily reminds us about bullying yet what was done to this guy on The Bachelor is bullying. Point. Blank. Period. Had he been a gay man and men or women were plotting and discussing in a mocking way how they’re going to make him have sex with a woman that would be seen immediately as bigotry, hate speech, even acts of violence and The Bachelor would get pulled from television. Todays society is morally bankrupt. Bad is called good and good is called bad and people are pressured to deny and exchange their personal beliefs and convictions for what the world deems as acceptable even if it goes against God.
Virgins are treated the way they are in society I believe because virgins, for many, produce a level of conviction in many persons who actually wish they had the same self-control, and for many, virgins (without actually saying anything besides the fact that they’re a virgin) make people who are not virgins feel like that they’re dirty for some reason. It’s not the virgin’s fault but it’s the conscience of man being abruptly reminded of God’s original intention for the human body and the reason sex was created. So in order to mitigate or remove altogether that feeling pricking the conscience and heart, they decide to pressure, manipulate, and bully the virgin into losing their virginity.
Instead of simply respecting someone’s personal choice they decide to mock them. It’s despicable. Christ told us beforehand what type of world this generation would be a part of. We’re also reminded in scripture not to conform to the pattern of this world but we ought to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
Being a virgin shouldn’t have to be something so exceptionally unusual and deserving of applaud but because society is drifting away from God, virginity is rare and I applaud virgins and admire their level of self-control in a society brimming over with sex in films, images, dialogue, books, I mean you name it. Most comedians can’t seem to tell a joke if it isn’t something sexual.
What I will say about virgins is not to get cocky, not to become self-righteous because being a virgin, though it’s rare, isn’t actually purity in its entirety. It’s a choice to remain pure in one particular area but it doesn’t mean that person is holy because of it. I see tons of Christian ministries making lots of money targeting women and have placed virginity on a pedastal as though it is THE outward sign of purity but there are many people who are virgins but are not loving, not forgiving, unkind, etc etc.
True holiness and purity is found in Christ Jesus and isn’t merely abstinence from sex but is denying ourselves, taking up our cross daily and following Christ, loving God and loving others the way He says and the way the world defines it.
I apologize for being so long winded but I am so tired of societies hypocrisy and blatant double standards. I am tired of it but not surprised by it. These folks hate God and the Lord did say a servant is not greater than the master. We will face ridicule for choosing the right way but we gotta just keep on keepin on in the faith knowing our God is faithful. Thanks for talking about this Caralyn.
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Thanks SLR for sharing your thoughts on this. Lots of powerful food for thought here. Keep on keepin on – amen to that 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for sharing your story, I really loved to hear about your relationship with God.
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Thank you so much Rhonda for your kind words! Hugs and love xox
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That really shows what is most valued or devalued in our world today. It’s like if virginity is a disease. Purity is something that is to be protected as it’s all that our God requires that we be pure and preserve our purity in Christ. I am proud when I hear men stand for purity it shows that we women have hope for husbands that will also value ours and our relationship with Jesus.
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Thank you so much Delisa for sharing your thoughts on this. Yes! Colton is definitely showing strength! Hugs and love xox
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Wow ! Such amazing blog, I’m happy you liked the poem. Be sure to follow if you like the reads! I’ll be following after this ! Haha
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Thanks so much Roses! I really appreciate that! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for this, God has been very clear about our purity and it is intended for the best reason and purpose. Society and the world thinks and says the opposite and today we are caught up in this horrible dilemma on having to answer “What, you are still a virgin?”. God’s design for humanity is so perfect, our goal is only to please Him and HIM alone and this is faithfulness. The prize for this is eternal and awaits all who are faithful to Him. Fantastic post, just yesterday I was chatting with a Pastor and we were talking about what we are faced with in society today. This post comes as fresh air, the world in not as bad as we see it is! Thank you for being a great witness for Jesus!
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Thanks so much friend for sharing your thoughts on this! I really appreciate your encouraging words. Amen! Him alone! Hugs and love xox
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Honestly and truthfully, why wouldn’t this fall under “Me Too”. These women are harassing this man on the basis of what they say. They should be fired honestly, for the disrespect coming out of their mouths. It’s upsetting to hear women speak like this on national television and still get paid to be on the show. I don’t understand this country at all.
I’m glad (I pray this bachelor is truthfully) he’s a virgin. I hope he represents what it means to be a virgin, who honored God with his body. I am greatly to see God’s legacy moving into mainstream, but I pray its all for the right intentions. Great post!
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! That’s such a great point. I’ll join you in that prayer! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you!
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✨💛✨ happy Saturday! 😍
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Oh Happy Saturday!
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🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 haha
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Honestly I don’t watch tv, at all. So I can get the summary from you, 😆 thanks!
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Hahah you got it 👌🏼
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YES, YES, YES! A THOUSAND times YES! THANK YOU for sharing this! Amen sister! Like you, I am still a virgin as well. While I didn’t watch the episode last night, I certainly heard enough about the promos and trailers to get the idea. Again like you, I was disgusted beyond reason. The way the media treats his virginity. I’m proud of him for having the courage to stand up and say that even though it should take no courage at all. If you don’t mind, I think I’m going to do my own piece on this.
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Hey Megan! Oh my gosh thank you so much for your encouraging words. I’m proud of him too! Would love to read your post! Hugs and love xox
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I meant to add that I’m also proud of you for talking about your own virginity. Talking about it shouldn’t be taboo. If someone like us wants to keep it until they meet the right person, then I agree, it shouldn’t be a problem or something to make fun of. Thank you for responding so fast as well.
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Thank you. Yeah I was really nervous to push publish on this one, so I really appreciate you saying that 🙂
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Yeah, I saw you’re twitter post saying that, and I wanted to respond, encouraging you, but time just got away from me.
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🤗🤗🤗🤗 ah social media! Haha
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Exactly. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Gotta love it.
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You’re such a talented personality!
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Thank you Michael 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for being counter-culture. It’s very disappointing that purity has somehow become a joke. And in the “Me Too” age, to rob one of their sexual choice should be looked upon both seriously and disapprovingly. Another good and insightful blog.
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Thank you so much Jay! I completely agree. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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I completely agree with you! It is so sad society can take what is pure and innocent and turn it into a joke. It sends such a negative message to those who are on the fence about maintaining their own purity. Thank you for taking a stand against that message. I enjoyed reading your post!
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Thank you so much for your kind words! I wish they would treat his decision with more respect too. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you
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Thanks so much 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I love this so much!! Society makes such a big deal out of being a virgin or not having “enough” sex and I’ve never understood it. I wanted to wait until I was married, but ended up giving my virginity to my husband about 4 years before we were married, and I in turn was given his. He told me in that moment he considered us married. I know I’m very lucky and that doesn’t happen for everyone.
But honestly good for you for speaking to this and being so strong!
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Thank you so much, for sharing your story! How special that the two of you share that together. Thanks again Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for sharing what must seem like a courageous post in our crazy society.
I think this points to a few serious double-standards in our culture’s view of sexuality. If a bunch of men went around at work offering to pop a virgin co-worker’s cherry, there would be grounds for sexual harassment charges (rightfully so). But, in our society, if a man who had chosen to save himself from marriage faced such treatment, it would be a whole different situation: something is clearly wrong with him if he does not want sex; he should consider himself lucky that women think of him that way, etc.
Now, on top of that, we have TV shows whose focus is trying to coerce people into having sex. I’m not sure a virgin bachelorette would expect better treatment in a TV show.
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Thank you so much Michael for sharing your thoughts on this. Double standards for sure. Hugs and love xox
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Amen. Thank you for voicing the truth.
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Thanks so much Deanna! Hugs and love xox
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Great post. Sad state we have become as a society, but we are living in the days they call evil, good and good evil. 😒
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Thank you so much Karen. Touché! Hugs and love xox
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I enjoyed reading your post! I completely agree with you on how wrong the narrative is. I chose not to watch this season because of how they are treating his virginity. They didn’t handle it right on Becca’s season either when he finally told her and she just walked away to go process it. It then became such a gimmick and they used it again with the Bachelor in Paradise. It’s frustrating to see it becoming such a label on him, which is such a double standard in a world that opposes labels and stereotypes. Now, Colton has said it’s not for religious reasons and he is just waiting for the right person but I’m frustrated that he even has to justify it at all. It’s not cool. Anyway, just my two cents. 💁🏼♀️ Thanks for the good read!!
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Thank you so much Gracie, I appreciate your kind words on this! I agree – Becca’s situation was handled so poorly too. Hugs and love xox
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Thanks for this powerful article! I’m a virgin too, I’m saving sex for marriage, when we can completely give ourselves to each other, our whole being, soul and body, forever. I hate that the world makes fun of purity and convinces so many teens that they need to start having sex to be cool.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story! I agree. Hugs and love xox
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Superbly stated. Bravo. 🙂
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Thank you so much Dot. Hugs and love xox
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You’re welcome!
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xoxo 🙂
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Love this and couldn’t agree more♥️
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Thank you so much Natalie. So glad this resonated with you 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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I hear you! I waited until marriage with my first husband. And despite many rude comments, I am waiting on my incarcerated husband to come home remaining faithful and true to him. I’m glad I didn’t watch. I’d be disgusted too!
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Thank you so much Lisa for sharing your story. Know that I am in your corner. You are demonstrating true unconditional love and that is a beautiful thing. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you! Hugs and Love backatya!
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✨💛✨
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Okay, my turn. As a United Methodist, my original plan was to wait until my wedding night.
Let’s just say that didn’t happen. And I hate it. I gave my virginity to my abusive ex-boyfriend when we were in college. We were both virgins. Granted, back then, I was almost 100 percent sure we were going to get married after graduation. But I digress. We had sex for the first time before I started realizing the signs of abuse. I know now, however, that he was consistently abusive and manipulative, especially with sex. It makes my skin crawl to think about it.
In 2010, when I met Al, I knew early on that he wanted to have sex with me. This time, the tables were turned – He was a virgin. And I was perfectly okay with that! The man had never kissed anyone until our first date. He was 25, I was 22. I was incredibly flattered that he wanted to be with me and make love to me. However, since the wounds were still so fresh form my previous relationship, I asked him kindly if he would wait until I told him I was ready. Thankfully, he respectfully agreed. It wasn’t too long after that, that we had sex for the first time. If we’re being honest, it felt really good. It felt like the first time for me. And I knew he was happy and satisfied. At that point, we both knew (without telling each other) that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
In retrospect, I still wish I had waited. However, on our wedding night, it sort of felt like the first time. It felt fresh, new, and different. I definitely cried!
I have never watched The Bachelor. I’ve just had no interest. I’ve lost interest in most reality shows, the one exception being re-runs of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition on YouTube. But, I can see why people watch it. How it’s a guilty pleasure for many. All the drama, the gossip, the predictions, and the conversation/watch parties among friends and family.
Do I agree with it? No. Absolutely not. I felt my stomach churning throughout your post. But, as always, good on you for raising your voice and spreading awareness! No one should be shamed like that – Ever!
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Thank you so much Laura Beth. Gosh I am just so sorry that you weren’t treated with the respect and dignity that you deserve. No person deserves an abusive relationship. My heart breaks that you had to endure that. And thank you for sharing your beautiful love story with Al. God definitely brought you two together for a reason 🙂 so glad you stopped by!! Yes – definitely stomach churning, that episode was. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I share my story whenever possible. I agree – Everything happens for a reason. God has had a huge hand in EVERYTHING in my life. You’re awesome! XOXO
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Amen amen amen! EVERYTHING in life!
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Beautiful post.
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Thank you Sheryl. Hugs and love xox
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Seriously, I feel for the poor guy. If I were him, I’d be like, “Well. Yeah, I think I’ve had enough public humiliation. I’m just going to leave now. Bye.”
But I guess it leaves me wondering if he knew how much they were going to play up the whole “I call first dibs on his virginity!” before he signed the contract. He must have had some idea. I mean, considering Hollywood’s whole anti-abstinence, anti-virginity stance, he had to have had some suspicion at the very least.
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Right?! Yeah he’s really brave to put himself out there like that. I’ll be praying for his heart for sure. Yeah – hard to tell but I’m sure he knew some of this would be there. Thanks for stoppping by ! Hugs and love xox
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Here’s hoping that he’ll pick the right one. 🙂
Hugs and love back at ya! 😀
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Yes!!
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Beautiful post! Also. Thanks for the podcast info, i had no idea and now I’m gonna go subscribe to it. God Bless you and your choice. Colton’s too.
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Thank you!! You’re on a reading roll! Haha it really is such a great podcast. Especially if youre a Bach fan! Ben and Ashley are top knotch people!
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You’re not a minority at all. One, there are billions of virgins in the world. Two, the generation under yours is putting off having sex because they don’t want babies young, and STDs. They want to concentrate on getting careers etc. That’s the stats that I read. They are less likely todo drugs and alcohol too.
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Thank you so much for your encouragement! What an interesting statistic! Hugs and love xox
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