COVID19 – NYC: A City Flatlined

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

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Quarantine NYC – Day 21

I’m going to be honest, writing about anything other than NYC right now feels incredibly tone deaf. Disingenuous. Insensitive.

There was an 18 wheeler semi truck parked on my street today, in front of a hospital that’s on my block. It was an unusual sight. Not actively loading or unloading. Just parked. All day. Unmarked. Unattended. Out of place among the deserted streets with barely any traffic anymore.

I didn’t think much of it, until I turned on the news that night, only to learn that that hospital is now being used as a temporary morgue for the coronavirus victims. And that semi? It’s a refrigerated holding box for the bodies.

You turn on the news right now, and 90% of the coverage is about how New York City is, for lack of a better term, bleeding out from the impact of the coronavirus on the city.

Which is true.

But as I watch the coverage, and watch Cuomo’s news conferences, and the shots of reporters on the street, and montage images of Times Square and other recognizable landmarks…it is just striking to me that all of this coverage is really missing the mark.

I’ve been in NYC for nine years now, and the city has never felt this way. Not after Hurricane Sandy. Not after Trump was elected. It’s acutely different.

You see, if anyone ever asks me why I love New York, my eyes will always light up, and I’ll answer with two monosyllabic words: the pulse. 

That is the “secret ingredient.” The “it factor.” The hutzpah that makes this great city what it is.

You step outside and there is a literal buzz in the air. It’s electric. From people chasing their dreams. Falling in love. Hustling. Beating the odds. Challenging their limits. And just flat out going for it.

And that, friends, is gone. Corona has flatlined that pulse.

The most jarring effect of COVID19 on the city: is the silence. It is truly deafening.

You walk outside, and you can hear the wind. You can hear the subway rumbling below.

Having lived here for so long, the noise has become part of my life’s soundtrack. In fact, I can’t sleep without it. New Yorkers love to complain about it, but the truth is, there’s a comfort to it. It gives me a sense of security. Of belonging.

That noise is no more. 

Only it has been replaced by the haunting symphony of sirens. Blaring relentlessly. Crying through the streets at all hours, day and night.

Again, sirens have always been part of the musical make up of Manhattan, but not like this. Not to this caliber of consistency.

And every time I hear one, I offer a prayer for the person it’s rushing to help. A habit I wish wasn’t so repetitive.

But that tension I’m feeling in the air — that grip of suffocation everyone is feeling — is fear. 

People are afraid. They’re holed up, trying to live their lives as normal as they can, but the undertone beneath it all, is fear of the this unseen enemy, whose power is uncertain and unchecked and not fully understood.

So we’re silently hostile with our personal space. We resort to selfish behaviors around food and supplies and toiletries. We look with suspicion on those wearing masks, or those not wearing masks. We judge. We don’t make eye contact. And a smile is out of the question.

But we’re all here. We’re all huddled away in our triple-digit square foot apartments doing our best to stay brave and stay positive.

But there’s a moment every night at 7:00, when the nurses and doctors change shifts for the day, when the entire city applauds these heroes on their way home from the hospital. People fling open their windows and clap. And holler. And yell. Some, like myself, bang their pots and pans. It’s a surreal moment of shared humanity.

Yesterday, I looked across the street at my neighbors who were all out on their fire escapes, and for that brief moment, we were all on the same team. We were all collectively exhaling. And truly seeing one another — seeing their fear. Seeing their emotion. Their hurt. Their release of anxiety through a flurry of clapping and hollering, as though the soul was flung out and escaping the barricades.

We’re entering into Holy Week, and it is truly surreal to be fasting from Mass, and from the Eucharist during Lent. There is something missing in my life that is truly so tangible. I long for Mass. I long for that peace and security and comfort found at church. I long for the literal pulse — the heart beat of my faith: the Mass.

That pulse that I’m missing in New York — that makes New York, New York — is that same pulse I’m missing right now as we enter the final preparations of Easter.

Maybe you’re feeling the same, too.

I think now, more than ever, is the time when we, as a faith community, all need to fling open our windows and start banging the pots and pans, too. We need to collectively let out that fear, that longing in our hearts that we feel as we’re prohibited from worshiping together.

Now is the time to come together as a faith community and hurt together. Release it together. Heal together. Hope together. Survive together. While apart.

Because the most insidious weapon that the evil one has, is to make us believe that we are truly alone. Isolated. Forgotten.

Friends, that is never the case. Not now, not ever.

We’re all in this together. And this week, as we walk through Holy Week, physically separated from our lifeline – our pulse – may we truly see one another in our humanness through it all.

And prove the resiliency of the Body of Christ.

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363 thoughts on “COVID19 – NYC: A City Flatlined”

  1. I’m curious about the pollution levels. Is the sky clearer? Interesting, and a bit creepy, about the semi. Bought my first rosary the other day. I have a prayer rope but the knots are hard to deal with for my arthritic fingers. The rosary is easier to use. Lord have mercy.

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    1. Hi Melissa! That’s a really great question. I would love to know that too! I’ll be praying with you 🙂 stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  2. Wow! I’ve heard about the semi truck/morgue. I saw the video on YouTube. I’ve also kept up with Cuomo’s press conferences. These are scary times we’re living in. Praying for you ❤ Please be safe!

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    1. Hi Gail, Aw thank you so much — I am so touched. Stay well my friend. Praying for you too! Hugs and love xox

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  4. The shaking….

    “See that you do not refuse Him who speaks. For if they did not escape who refused Him who spoke on earth, much more shall we not escape if we turn away from Him who speaks from heaven, 26 whose voice then shook the earth; but now He has promised, saying, “Yet once more I shake not only the earth, but also heaven.” 27 Now this, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of those things that are being shaken, as of things that are made, that the things which cannot be shaken may remain……Hebrews 12:25-27

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  5. Hello dearest friend, how are you doing? We here in Cape Town are awestruck by what’s transpiring in the Big Apple. And we keep you folks in our hearts, mind prayers. How do I say “stay safe” when I don’t for sure how to myself?

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    1. Thank you so much Pete – I so appreciate your prayers. Know that you’re in mine too. Stay well. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers! Know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox stay well x

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  7. Excellent post. Thanks for giving the reader a vivid image and feel of what is going on in NYC and in your life. I totally understand missing church. Although I’ve gotten somewhat used to having to watch the liturgy, compline, and akathist through my church’s live streaming, it’s been difficult not being there in person, and especially missing uniting with Christ via the Eucharist. I’m preparing myself for Holy Week, which is a week after yours, I believe (Pascha/Easter is April 19 for Orthodox Christians), I’m still very saddened that for the first time since I came back to my faith in my mid 20s, I’ll be missing Holy Week and Pascha in person. But I’m strengthened by God’s ever presence and that we have our prayer corners and service books to keep up with the Holy Week services and Pascha and celebrate at home in our “little churches” for now. Stay healthy and safe. God bless!

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    1. Thank you so much! Yeah I agree – I miss the community and the Eucharist! Amen – His ever presence. Praying for you dear friend. Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  8. I am so happy you made this blog into a podcast. Keep it up. This helps people who are blind or who have low vision have another way to access your content. Stay safe. 🙂

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  10. It’s hard to relate to your situation. My much smaller community is having some struggles, but not at NYC scale. That being said, my heart does go out to all those struggling—healthcare workers, victims, the sick, the healthy, the scared, old & young, separated families, those without income, those without, and all the rest. It is difficult to understand these times. They are unique, but not. The world has had illness before, but populations were different, global connectivity was different… It’s the same, but different.
    Be well, stay safe, God bless.

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    1. thanks William for your kindness – you’re so right – there are a lot of people suffering around the world. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  11. My heart breaks for your whole state. I’m praying and I’ve shed tears following the news reports and press conferences on what they expect to come. Things will eventually heal once this is all over.

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    1. thank you so much Mauriel – i so appreciate your prayers. KNow that you’re in mine too. i believe you’re right. stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  12. Love this. You stay safe! My husband works in baseball and after Spring Training was canceled (very surreal) instead of going home to Chattanooga, we drove to Texas to be with my inlaws. About the time ST was finished, my father-in-law found out he had pancreatic cancer, so we felt we needed to be here, wanted to be here. We are going on 3 weeks being here, he has had surgery and is recovering well. My husband wants to stay for the follow-up to see what’s next, then try to head to Chattanooga. The appointment isn’t until April 14th and we were so hoping it would be in the next day or two so we could leave, but here we are. By the way, my husband has 3 other brothers, so it wouldn’t be like we would be leaving them with no one. They live in a tiny Central Texas town. There is only 1 recorded case of the virus in the county, but I’m a bit concerned being here. People seem more at ease, no urgency about protecting themselves, than in other areas of the country. I can see the cases suddenly blowing up and out of control. I really don’t want to get sick here, for my in-laws’ sake and for mine. There’s not even a doctor here, we would have to go 30 miles to Waco. My husband made signs to place on the outside doors of this house because doctors told my FIL no visitors, just like when he was in the hospital for a week, during and after surgery. His wife wasn’t even allowed with him. We thought they understood this, but they won’t listen, allowing all sorts of family members in no matter what we say. It is getting aggravating and I’m getting more concerned by the minute that my husband and/or myself may catch the virus. Today we took my in-laws to a church service in the church parking lot and everyone sat in their separate cars to hear the sermon. I told my husband this was going to be trouble. Sure enough, several came right up to our car and my FIL rolled down his window to talk, one man even gave my FIL dap! He thought that was safer than shaking hands! We give up. So as selfish as it may sound, I want home. I want my own bed, my own kitchen, my own solitude and sanitary ways. When we do head home we will avoid people, we will wear gloves when filling up with gas, and we won’t stop along the way like we usually do to visit friends. Prayers for everyone and love to you all! Sorry this is such a long reply. It all kind of just spilled out and I’m just flat out exhausted.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m so sorry to hear that, and i will definitely be praying for you, your father in law and your family. I hope the 14th brings good news. stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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    2. I am sorry you feel like this. I live an hour and a half out of Waco. See we are concerned. But we have cattle, chickens, and pigs to feed so you can go the store and get meat, eggs, and milk. We have pastures to spray and plant so you can get your fruits and vegetables. We are feeding the kids who have nothing to eat from our schools and churches. Thirty mile drive to a doctor! Some people walk that far, for water! You want exhaustion, do that. We care and we love. Most of all we think of others before ourselves. God bless, sr

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      2. How’s my girl. Sorry had to sound off, but I know what we are doing and going through in Texas. Not only for ourselves, but others as well. No we don’t stop here, be it having church in a parking lot, helping someone getting their groceries to the car, or any other thing we can do. We are sharing everything we have in our homes from toilet paper to bread. We are taking groceries and other things to those who cannot get out. Are we concerned about the virus. A little. More than that we are concerned about helping others who cant get out. If we live we live for Christ. If we die, we die for Christ. Either way it is all for Christ. If someone has a problem with that, please by all means go home. I love you. SR

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      3. I can’t see the comment you were replying too on the iPhone app! So sorry, I thought that was just a stand alone comment!

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      4. My inlaws live in Marlin which is a very poverty stricken place, and no the people here are not concerned and that frightens me for them. The HEB here is packed when a week ago they were taking precautions. It doesn’t make sense. I care very much for my inlaws, but I also care about the health of myself and my husband and they are ignoring any direction they have been given by doctors. Yes, I am mentally exhausted trying to keep them safe. Being a very strong Christian I understand God places us where we need to be, but even Christians can sometimes feel overwhelmed. None of us is perfect.

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      5. Amen! I think we’re all doing our very best given this wild and unpredictable situation that none of us have ever lived through before. I hear you – it is so exhausting on so many fronts – emotionally, spiritually, socially, financially, physically – It’s been a surreal past several weeks and i just want to share love and positivity with y’all 💛 hang in there monteelou. We’re in the thick of the storm but we will find a way through, together. 😊 Sending so much love!

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  13. Hello, this is sr. Am trying to get back to blogging. Dad passed away in November, so trying to get life back. You made mention that you can hear the wind. Maybe that is what God wants you to do. Kind of like taking the time to smell the Roses. I think we all need to do that. Praying for you all and I love you. SR

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    1. Hi SR, thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. that’s a powerful thought. stay well. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. Know that you’re in mine too. Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  15. My prayers are with you from South Africa. I feel your anguish, I sit every evening and shes a tear at each days stats. We are no where near the USA in this pandemic. I pray we are spared. No that you in New York are not alone. We are praying for all of you. I’m in a Johannesburg suburb. There is nothing but silence. No blaring sirens. Nothing. I’m in a bubble in a silent war. May God be with us all. ❤

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. Wow South Africa! And gosh a silent war – what a powerful image. I will be keeping You and your community in my prayers!! Stay well!

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    1. Thank you so much 🙂 yes it certainly will! God is good! hang in there! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  18. “We are silently hostile with our personal space” – that (and that little section) feels so human to me. I heard this statement once, perhaps you have too,

    “Sometimes, we are so heavenly minded, we are no earthly good.”

    I enjoy writing about faith, my faith journey, and such like. It is who I am as a person. Jesus changed me from the inside out. Once a stuffie ol’ Pharisaical hypocrite, now realizing the truly Amazing Grace of God – as a recovering hypocrite.

    That being said, I think we can oh so easily stay up in the clouds, acting as if we were never down there in the first place.

    It is okay to be human. It is okay to feel. It is acceptable to NOT have a positive spin sometimes. It is okay. Children of God, although children of God, are just regular people to begin with.

    Anyway, I guess I’m just saying… thanks?

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    1. Thank you so much Josh – you’re right – we are allowed to feel! Now more than ever! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  20. We have a unit in a retirement resort and usually there are people out on the street talking in clumps. Well its not that way now. You rarely see a person out on the street and traffic is mostly supermarket vans delivering their orders to the respective units. We have been promised not weeks but months of this. Most of the cases here in Australia were delivered by cruise ships so all the ones hovering around major cities have been sent packing back to their countries after removing the sick for treatment. It will be hard to persuade people to go on a cruise in future so a lot of their business will fold no doubt. Keep safe there. Praying for your safety.

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    1. Thanks for sharing that Ian. It really is surreal how this has transformed our communities. Stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  21. This is an amazing post. You have put in worda the essence of what fear is. The sound of the sirens were always there in NY city but no one noticed them before because of the hustle and bustle of the city. When you remove all of that then the sirenes appeared to be more than before and this increases the fear. We need to get rid of the fear because this is what the enemy is using to defeat us. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. Hi Beverley! oh wow thank you so much. Yeah there is a lot of fear. But today the sun is out, the birds are chirpping and things are going to be okay. amen – that’s what the enemy uses! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much Stephanie! i’m so glad this resonated with you. i appreciate your prayers. know that you’re in mine too! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  25. This is such a beautiful post and nearly brought me to tears as I can totally feel every sense through this. That “pulse” is exactly why NYC is one of my favourite cities in the world and i can almost feel that flattened through your words, despite being thousands of miles away. Even here, it is the distant sirens that bring sadness to me, that I never noticed before too. Thank you for sharing this. Stay strong and we will be back stronger x

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  26. You write beautifully!💗
    Your post captures the essence of NYC! Thank you!
    My daughter is a nurse, my husband, an engineer @ a local hospital.
    Thank you for your raw & real words about what you are seeing & experiencing.🙏🏻 💕

    I’ve been watching online services thru Washington National Cathedrral
    Have a Happy Easter!💜🐣💚🐣

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    1. Thank you so much! Oh wow, thank you and your family for their selfless contribution to fighting covid! i’ll be praying for them! happy easter! Hugs and love xox

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  27. Beautiful and eerie post Caralyn. Eerie in picturing NYC being quiet & still except for the sirens and people being carted to the hospital or buried. Things here in DFW aren’t as bad as they are in NYC but it is eerily still. There is movement, just less than normal. And lots of businesses-restaurants and stores-sit empty. I agree that now more than ever the faith community needs to step up and be a voice of hope & encouragement. Especially going into Easter…Thanks for sharing about what’s going on in NYC. Be safe, be well.

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  28. That energy you speak of, how much of it serves God? Or believes in God and His Word, our Bible? Is it possible to save a city like NYC? Is it possible to save this city you love, and the buzz you love? I have watched NYC suffer so many times, hoping this would be the time it changes, and actually has a come to God moment. I’ve visited this amazing city 3 times, and some powerful ministers have worked those streets, but as far as I can see…as a whole… NYC would never leave her power, wealth, greed, lust, and pleasures to serve God. That would truly be a miracle and revival sparked across this whole nation. If only it would be so. But don’t go so deep in that energy to endanger your own soul. It is a dangerous path.

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    1. Thank you so much!! Yeah the energy is infectious in NYC. I know it will be back. Amen to that. Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  31. Reminds me of when we lived in Manhattan during 9/11! How are you doing now? Here in the Midwest, I keep seeing how hard COVID-19 has hit cities, but especially New York! Stay safe!

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    1. Hi Rhonda! Thanks for checking in. Yeah New York is getting hit pretty hard – it’s a ghost town for sure! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  32. […] but twice a day when th hospital staff changes shifts, when drs n nurses are leaving out n more are walking in…errbody comes out on their balconies n throws open their doors n shouts n hi-fives, bangs pots and applauds th hospital staff comin in n going out…everyday…every. shift. change… read it here […]

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  33. loved this heart felt, truthful post abt NYC…i linked to this post…hope thats ok…i had several blogs I added in one post…thx fa posting…may our Lord Jesus Christ keep u and ur loved ones safe …

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    1. Thank you G, I appreciate you taking the time to read it and for sharing it!! And thank you for your prayers – know that you’re in mine as well! Hugs and love xox

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  34. You said “sirens have always been part of the musical make up of Manhattan.” That has not changed. Bones break, kids fall, appendixes burst, and yes, now we have some COVID-19 cases. But the sirens have not changed, but your heart has. For now you hear the sirens.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I will say though, regarding ambulances, I have always said prayers whenever I hear one. It is a haunting sound that means someone is in trouble. I have always heard them. And yes, now more than ever. X

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  35. I’d forgotten until I read your title that you were living in NYC, Caralyn. It’s such a crazy mix of humanity, but it does indeed have a pulse like no other city. Meanwhile, I’m praying many will find that eternal pulse of faith that has kept you going.

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    1. Hi Mitch! Yes! a crazy mix of humanity indeed. Thank you, friend. i will join you in that important prayer! hope you’re hanging in there! Hugs and love xox

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  38. I just read your beautiful and moving prose. Like you put it at the beginning, and I paraphrase it here, writing a beautiful piece about your horror-struck city seems paradoxical, even uncalled-for. But, words could be unfailingly consoling as well, especially during this time of desolation. Words cheering those nurses and doctors or our incessant prayers are examples of how words never lose their appeal. Well, I say my prayers from afar that you and all the New Yorkers may be ever strengthened and united during this pandemic. Take care. God bless.

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    1. thank you so much Jerry for your prayers. Yes, New York has been hit hard, but we will bounce back. stay well. Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much Michele, i really appreciate your prayers and kndness. stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  40. I’ve never had the pleasure of making it to New York yet. I’m in the midwest – St. Louis, MO. I’m going to get up there at some point in time, it’s my dream to travel to all 50 great states, and I’ve been to all except the upper NE, Hawaii & Alaska! But, seriously, I can only imagine the different feelings of how your city is right now, amidst all of this craziness! I’m sorry that these terrible things are happening and making everyone in our entire world community suffer the way we all are! Isolated and alone. I feel the worst for those kids who are being abused and have no escape, like school! I pray daily that this will end and we can all grow stronger together! Getting back to Church with my little ones is definitely at the top of my want to do list! Thanks for sharing!

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    1. thanks so much Kelly Ann for sharing that – yes! definitely get to NYC when you can! it is a remarkable city! with something for everyone! joining you in those prayers! thanks for stopping by! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  41. “Now is the time to come together as a faith community and hurt together. Release it together. Heal together. Hope together. Survive together. While apart.” This is SO true, this is the place that God has called us to in this moment. I know great spiritual revival is going to arise upon the Bride of Christ in JESUS name!!! God bless and continue to comfort you and your family! Blessings! 💛

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