ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay

Quarantine Day 32. NYC

I’m going to be really honest. Yesterday was the first really hard day. Sure, I’ve faced the fear of contracting the virus, been stunned by the sobering sight of death, and grieved the separation from my family. But yesterday was hard for a different reason.

It was the first day where I really felt the acute sting of loneliness.

After 32 days, without a hug, without eye contact, without the physical chemistry that comes with human to human interaction, the toll of isolation finally caught up to me.

And as I fell asleep last night with silent tears stinging my cheek, I finally let down the brave facade I had been sustaining with every last ounce of myself. I finally let myself truly feel.

And the feeling I was confronted with: was loneliness.

During the first weeks, the novelty of FaceTime interactions and Zoom parties made it feel exciting. And the connections with the people I care about felt almost electric. Like we were all in a space ship before lift off — buzzing with anticipation and energy — about to brave the new frontier, all in it together.

But as the calendar days roll on, that excitement has been extinguished by new challenges, difficult realities, and the truth that isolation is a nightmare for the soul — particularly extroverts like myself.

To paint a picture, my apartment is 500 square feet, in the heart of downtown Manhattan. It’s small but cozy. But even with all the creature comforts and candles and crooning melodies played through my speakers, there is an emptiness of heart, being alone.

And, ironically, I’m not alone in this feeling. I posted a poll on my Instagram account, asking what the most challenging aspect of quarantine has been, and of the 200+ responses I received, 92% of them involved loneliness, and/or missing loved ones.

There’s a collective heaviness of heart that is running rampant through our current quarantined existence.

But this forced quiet and introspection — it’s been keenly revealing. Quarantine exposes people’s true colors – their true selves. Which has been surprising, both good and bad. I’ve been surprised by some people’s creativity; others: their humor; some: their cooking skills! Others: their innovative solutions to boredom.

But also surprising, is seeing who has reached out, and where there has been radio silence. A truth that’s loud and clear in the silence of these four quarantined walls.

And that, has been the most challenging aspect of all of this. Adding insult to the injury of loneliness.

But I think I need to remember that we’re all coping with this upended reality in the best way that we each know how. And much how everyone grieves differently, so too are we each surviving this difficult season of isolation — and that looks differently for everyone.

You see, I spent so long in my anorexia truly believing – to my innermost core – that I was a giant burden to people. It sounds ludicrous, I know. But it was the deeply held belief that led me to waste away to 78 pounds. And so I think that this current sting of loneliness is acutely reminiscent of those years in my eating disorder that I spent pushing people away, and withdrawing in isolation to be alone with my disease.

Which adds a tremendously tender layer of complexity to the already oppressive reality of quarantine.

But enough of that psychological tangent.

Waking up this morning, with the daylight and the bright, shining sun, came a new perspective on this whole situation.

Yes, quarantine has illuminated a lot of difficult truths that I can choose to dwell on, and fixate upon their disappointment. OR, I can choose to focus on another truth that has come to surface in all of this: our need to fully depend on Jesus.

Our Savior has a lot of names: Christ, Messiah, Son of God, Bread of Life, Prince of Peace, Light of the World, Lamb of God.

But this morning, I was reminded of another name: Emmanuel. Which literally translates to “God with us.”

God with us.

In this time when we’re all suffering from the crippling demon of loneliness, God is reminding us, through Jesus’ very name: Emmanuel, that He is with us.

Right now. During our moments of silent lonely tears. When we’re frightened for loved ones. When we’re faced with financial challenges, job loss, emotional exhaustion, difficult living situations, bleak and uncertain futures…God with us.

He died for us. Was risen for us. And now lives with us.

Emmanuel, console us during these destitute days of isolation and trial. Renew in our hearts the strength and peace that only You bring. And help us to surrender the burdens in our hearts, over to You, to restore our fullness of spirit, yolked with you, our loving and compassionate Emmanuel.

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“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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303 thoughts on “ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay

  1. Praying for you! Are you not able to even go out and get some exercise or pick up groceries there? We have watched the heavy toll that this virus has exacted on New York with heavy hearts, sending our love Veronica and Doug.

    1. Thank you Veronica and Doug! Oh yes! I go for a jog every afternoon and it is so good for the soul! But yeah – FaceTimes are great but not the same as a real hug!!! Haha thank you for your prayers. Know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

      1. I’ve pretty much been on quarantine here in Orlando since March 22. Although our governor didn’t somewhat lock down the state until 8 days later. I haven’t felt the emotion of loneliness yet. But here our circumstance are different. Apparently more places then we knew of were essential and we’re allowed to go out to them. Doesn’t make much sense to me. I pretty much stay inside. Not because of fear of getting the virus but because I try to do what’s right. I applaud you for being so strong and brave during this time. 32 days is along time to go without human contact. I’m an extrovert most of the time but apparently I’m more introverted than I realize and this hasn’t been so bad. You’re right during these very trying times, it hard not to feel afraid, alone, scared, uncertain etc. We have to remember God is with us. Thanks for this post. I myself have not been so understanding. Have a wonderful blessed week my friend

      2. Thank you so much my dear friend 🙂 yeah, these are such surreal times. i hope that things open up soon!! stay well my friend. amen – He is with us!!! big hugs xox

    1. Thanks Brandon, you’re right. We’re meant for community! Thanks so much for your kind words. Hang in there! Hugs and love xox

  2. Hugs for you my friend. You are a brave woman. It is normal to feel that way. We are all human and that feeling is part of it. What’s most important is we know how to be thankful to our Saviour. There is a reason behind all this. We just have to ready our self to accept victory that will soon be coming after this COVID-19 pandemic.
    See you on my blog.

    1. Aw thank you for your hugs Vanessa! They are so appreciated! amen to that. Stay well! Hugs and love xox

  3. It is only human to feel alone and afraid, I live in a city called Exeter in the UK which feel’s a lot further away from the madness of corona19. My biggest fear about the way I could catch the corona virus is by pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing as I cross a road. My work at Devon Communities Together keeps me busy and focused I am due to start work at 9am today we are doing our bit to help our colleagues, friends and loved ones. Just because you are not presently with your loved ones does not mean they love you any less. I am talking to mine a lot more over the phone presently and it is really helping me and them. I thought on your last post you were trying to put a brave face on. We all do that to help ourselves and others. It has been an honor to type a message to you at 02:02 according to my UK clock. Lots of Love to you and please mind how you go Huwx

    1. Thank you friend. I’m glad the threat where you live is minimal!! That’s terrific! I appreciate that – Hugs and love xox

      1. Sending a Cwtch back to you I was born in Bangor in Wales and a Cwtch is a welsh version of what you call a hug. It’s taken a lot of work to reduce the risk where I live, it does not just happen by magic, though the odd prayer has helped tremendously I feel like I’ve been on a mission from God since the moment I was born and will fight till the day I die. But that’s another story for another day. Thank you for Hugs and Love Hx

  4. Your bravery is amazing. Every year NYC has to face a different challenge. As your readers, we can only hope to understand the tight quarters, the raging battle that exists with the highest prevalence in NYC. My father passed yesterday, and I think of so many families who will be missing family and friends. It’s a national/worldwide tragedy, but when there are mass graves in the Bronx, it puts it in a framework that is difficult to process, much less live through and navigate how, at this point, to not get sick. Steph and I will pray for you. We appreciate people like you, who value the human heart. I pray you find peace with the Holy Comforter. Keep your mind strong.

    1. Oh Brian, I am so sorry for your loss. Gosh, my heart is breaking for you. Sending up prayers for your father and you and Steph and your family as you go through this difficult time. Sending so much love, my dear friend. Xoxoxoxoxooxoxo

      1. Thank you. While we weren’t close, the loss of a parent is difficult. I am still numb to the pain. Looking forward to the seclusion to be over so we can have a memorial to add closure. – Best, Brian xoxoxo

  5. Thus isolation is truly tough my friend, but we must all hang in there and stay hopeful. It does affect us all at different levels and feeling this and more has become so unsettling to say the least. Lets stay prayerful, remember each other, and stay busy in our homes because our mental health is just as important as our mental health as well. Take care and stay up!!

    1. Thank you so much friend, you’re right it is! And there is always hope to be found!! Thank you for your kindness! Hugs and love xox

  6. Here is a big virtual hug for you Caralyn!

    I so understand your thoughts. I live alone which makes this a tiny bit easier yet when can any of us travel to see loved ones? Like you said, texting and phone calls are wonderful yet never will replace the eye to eye and hugging contact. Be safe. 🙏🏻✝️

    1. Awwww thank you John for that hug! It was needed! 🙂 You’re right – there’s nothing like an in person interaction! Stay well my friend!!! Hugs and love xox

      1. 🙂 yeah it’s particularly hard to be away from family!!! hang in there!

    1. Aw JB, I’m sorry this is familiar for you. I’m sending a big big big hug to you!! Hang in there 🙂 xoxo

  7. Psalm 68:5-6 New Living Translation (NLT)

    Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
    this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
    God places the lonely in families;
    he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
    But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

  8. That is why I live in Texas. At least I can get out and mow, be with my dogs, and watch the cattle graze. I can’t imagine being cooped up all day. But I have known you for years, and I have never seen you not make it. Yes, Jesus is always with us. I am with you too. Love you more. SR

    1. thanks SR! oh yes – that sounds idyllic! i miss having a pup around!! stay well! thank you for your kindness, my friend! Hugs and love xox

  9. It does get wearing, doesn’t it? My wife and I are both over 60 and she’s in chemo so we can’t go out. My youngest son does food shopping for us and it’s so hard to only be able to wave at him through the window when he puts the food in our garage. But God will get us through. Praying for you, Caralyn!

    1. it really does, Roy. Thank oyu for your prayers! know that you and your wife are in mine too! I’m glad your son is able to do that for you guys! what a surreal situation we’re in!!! Hugs and love xox

  10. °\(ッ)/°
    ßÏG HÛGŠ

    Awww so sorry you felt that… I have felt that myself everything you said… so don’t ever feel alone…

    What helps me is readjusting what I love and how I see for the moment – I’ll have to readjust back so that might be hard but whatever – is life.

    Right now… think of things that give you comfort or things you totally love… try not to think too much about being without people.

    It’s hard it really is… but we still have life… don’t take that for granted – love what you can while you can.

    I’m sorry you feel asleep crying – I’ve had those nights myself. You are not alone

    We will get through it eventually – you stay safe and strong. Keep posting – love your posts ✌️

    You do have people – you just can’t be near them right now. Have strength. ✌️obviously you are very strong already – you can do this! Is not forever.

    Just please be safe 😘

    1. awww what a cute little guy! thank you so much Omatra! and wow what great advice!!! i love that — adjusting my perspective. so powerful!! thank oyu for the encouragement my friend! Hugs and love xox

  11. Carolyn you are finding out the same things I did, when I escaped narcissistic abuse. Who actually cares. I did a stocktake on my life back then. It is so hard isn’t it? I have so admired the way you have stayed positive throughout this. I do think it is no accident we have been pulled away from the general busyness of our lives and given time to take stock. I am part of a beautiful prayer group. They have been faithful throughout this. I find I love them even more now. It has definitely shown me, who I can count on. I look forward to your blogs. Your self-discipline inspires me. For what it’s worth, I will help you just about any way I can.

    1. thank you, friend, for sharing that. You’re right, i have really been blown away by the people who have stepped up. i’ve really felt very blessed. i’m so glad you have that prayer group! what a blessing 🙂 hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

  12. To BBB, how the days are for you is sketched in words here, with your usual skill at letting people know how things are with you. Reading your post tonight, I enjoyed thinking back how things were for you a few weeks back, and I wish it weren’t so lonely for you with things going in the direction of controlled disaster. It must be lonely for countless people, but, as you are the one that is keeping people feeling the togetherness around your site, I know it’s not at all easy for you.

    Please keep up every effort to remain as healthy as possible. It is very important. How you manage the perplexing weeks in front of us to face, it is probably true that, although I know Jesus is with you, you are walking these steps with as much uncertainty as just about anyone else who is aware of all those problems I see in the news.

    You won’t be alone, even if you feel very lonely. Return on schedule, please! Keep up the great blogging, too.

    1. Hi Odell, oh gosh thank you for your kindness. I am humbled by your generous words. You’re so right about that – health is of utmost importance right now. You do the same!!! Hugs and love xox

  13. Ugh, I hear you, I know exactly how you feel. This social distancing alone *Is* lonely. So many of us are in the same boat, except instead of one boat, it’s like there are millions of little boats, one person in each, out in the middle of the ocean. Floating. For weeks! But, I imagine Jesus walking on water to your boat, and mine, and . . . you know, I think things will be different afterwards, I think some things will change: our walls are going to come down more easily after this, we won’t be alone for long. Of course friends, family, all of them will be appreciated even more, but also Love. I am beginning to look forward to that time, like Christmas! This helps a bit, in the teary moments : )
    Sending hugs & prayers!

    1. thank you so much Peri for oyur hugs and prayers! they are greatly appreciated! i’m sorry you can relate so personally. You’re so right with that analogy!! millions of little boats!!! with Jesus walking to us! wow – that is so comforting. needed to hear that 🙂 sending big hugs and prayers!!! xoxo

  14. Sending lots of love, and wish I could send you some of the happy noise and chaos of my household of seven kids, where even quarentine is a party…and true solitude is only found (briefly) in the bathroom. Don’t forget in this lonely time, to chat with your guardian angel who is always right with you, and interested in everything you have to say to him. xoxoxox

    1. aw thank you so much Anna, hha oh wow! seven kids, that is so beautiful!!! what a special time to be together as a family! will be praying for you all! and yes! that’s great advice 🙂 big hugs to you xo

  15. Reading this tonight I suddenly thought of your visit here. At the end of your Sunday morning presentation I came over to wrap things up. I hugged you with one arm and kissed the top of your head. I didn’t really think about it at the time. It was just spontaneous. Tonight I remembered my first article about you; Beauty and the (ED) Beast. I wrote in there how you brought out the dad in me, and I wanted to comfort you, hug you…and kiss the top of your head.

    So, for what it’s worth and if it helps in some small way, maybe remember that brief moment from someone who never thought he’d know who you were, let alone ever meet you. A small hug and a fatherly kiss from someone who cares.

    1. Awwww, Jeff, this brought a huge smile to my face, thank you so much 🙂 i remember that hug!! 🙂 yes!!! you’ve been such a great friend and second dad 🙂 God has blessed me with your friendship!!!! until the next time we meet!! 🙂 sending big hugs to you and your girls!! xoxo

  16. This May help you in your loneliness; it helped me.
    Forward Day by Day
    Sunday, April 12
    Easter Sunday
    John 20:15-16 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? For whom are you looking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means teacher).
    I came here for the wilted husk of just one precious flower, but your voice miraculously bloomed by this tomb, calling me Mary, and you gave me the whole garden, instead. Every blossom and petal.
    The meaning of this moment stretches for all eternity. The forever winter of the hammered nails is gone. I have been transported and transformed by a joy that is deeper than the sea and higher than Mount Hermon!
    I ran to tell Peter, to tell them all: I have seen the flowers of Golgotha— the blooms of God’s grace and eternal love for us all— our risen Lord!
    Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

    1. oh wow this is so powerful, thank you so much for sharing that with me!!! hope you’re hanving in there! Hugs and love xox

  17. Thank you for sharing and reminding me how blessed I am to have my husband and children with me. Praying for God to give you strength and peace during these difficult times.

    1. Thank you so much Kristie for your prayers and kindness! Very appreciated. Know that you and your family are in mine too! Yes!! Hugs and love xox

  18. Since you said you “allowed yourself to feel,” go deeper into your creative space. It might scare you, but your best work is hidden inside you. This will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel. See the light. Be the light…

    1. You’re right that’s a really great idea John! Thank you for that encouragement!! Stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

  19. Makes you appreciate the strength of character of prisoners of war, doesn’t it? I have a friend who fought in Vietnam. He says, paraphrasing: “We have food and no one is shooting at us.” I am so sorry for your loneliness, but glad you find consolation in our Savior. I felt alone in Costa Rica many years ago. It was around then that I started wearing the cross. Had to remind myself what Jesus endured. Been alone most of my life, except for two cats. It hurts, but after awhile you don’t feel it anymore, because you learn to look toward those times when you know you’ll be with people. There will be an end to this–promise–because we’ll make one in a positive way. When I start feeling blue, I try to decide who might be lonelier and call them or write them. Usually gets me out of my funk and helps someone else. Sending you a great big virtual hug!

    1. You’re really right about that! Oh wow – that’s powerful. And what great advice. Thank you for that!! I will do 🙂 Hugs and love xox

    1. Awww you are just the greatest. Thank you friend, I love you too!! 🥰 God bless you!!! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

  20. He is Emmanuel who understand us because he lived in this life, experienced being alone as he was tortured and crucified. He understands being misunderstood. He understands the problems of this world because he lived here as human and God in one. He loves you little sister. He will never leave us.

    https://youtu.be/mrmMQdkBPwY

    1. you’re so right! He will never leave us 🙂 thank you for that – so incredibly comforting! sending you love and hugs! xox

      1. oh awesome! thank you! i can’t wait to listen! music has been so healing for me in quarantine 🙂

      2. yes! I’ve really like audrey assad lately. Her songs are hauntingly beautiful and really “hit the spot”

  21. Amen and beautifully said! And if I’d had thr slightest inkling all if this was going to happen, I would have looked you up and given you an actual hug when i was in Manhattan the last week of February. I guess virtual hugs will have to do. I am praying for you. 💕🤗

    1. thank you so much Heather! awww you’re so sweet! yes – virtual hugs will have to do! thank you so much for your prayers, they mean so much! know that you’re in mine too! xoxoxoxoooxoxoxo

  22. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I’m glad you are being encouraged by “God with us!” My wife sometimes gets on the phone with friends when she is low. But you’ve probably already tried that.

    1. thank you so much for your kind words. You’re right – that’s a great thing to do! and i have been staying in close contact via phone and facetime with my friends and family! Definitely helps!! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

    1. you’re so right, Alan! Definitely not just for Christmas anymore!! 🙂 stay well my friend! thanks for the virtual texas hug! 🙂 right back atcha! 🙂 xoxo

  23. Thanks for being so real and honest. I love reading your posts because they are so relatable and encouraging. Thanks for pointing everything back to Christ too. May God’s grace be upon you during this difficult time.

    1. thank you so much Sabrina 🙂 you’re too sweet – and youu too my friend! Hugs and love xox

  24. Hang in there, and thank you for this honest post revealing a vulnerability that so many of us are feeling. Your words and faith make you strong.

  25. Caralyn such an open honest exposure of your feelings. That’s something that your Lord and recovery has brought about in you. We here in the US really had no idea what isolation was until now. And you penned um wrote it with such insight. I too am praying for you. You stay one of my few heroes because you are so open and honest and you not only know but also share the only real cure – your Savior. Just imagine what you are being given right now to strengthen your recovery and faith. I am sure you will come through this and be even a greater gift to others. Stay strong but not too strong to turn to your Lord. Thanks. John

    1. Hi John – oh gosh thank you for this thoughtful response. you’re right – He is the only real cure. Wow – i am humbled by your generous words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. praying for you too! Hugs and love xox

  26. I stood half a metre outside of my front door, still on my premises, and was ordered inside by an overtly diligent South African cop.

    After my own medical lockdown of 183 days in 2019, the 129 square foot measuring my existence became stifling. Hugs, socially distanced, as I don’t want to infect you. I have heartburn.

    1. oh wow, that sounds so sad Pete, I’m sorry to hear that. hang in there my friend! Hugs and love xox

  27. I agree with you 100%. When you strip away the outer layers of a person, past the clothes, possessions, fame and success, what do you see? You see frightened boys and girls, vulnerable souls. So we hide because we don’t like what we see. Two years ago, I had to take sabbatical from serving at my church because I didn’t want it to become unhealthy part of my identity. My pastor suggested a book and write a journal, inviting Jesus to walk into the basement and deep closets. To my surprise, Jesus was not judgemental but shined a light and do some cleaning. 🙂

    1. thank you friend! yes! He shined a light! i love that 🙂 thanks for this thoughtful response! Hugs and love xox

  28. Hugs and kisses to you Caralyn. Emmauel is a great reminder that we are never alone.; as well as Deuteronomy 31:8 (erv): The Lord will lead you. He himself is with you. He will not fail you or leave you. Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid!” God bless and keep you woman of courage & purpose.

    1. awww thank you so much!! i love that verse – so much comfort there! thanks for your encouragment! Hugs and love xox

  29. My heart hurts for you, and so many others, feeling the pain of isolation and much uncertainty!

    I wanted to throw this out there for your thoughts, I am and have often been, the one who reaches out, but ALSO the one that DOES NOT. That one that goes radio silent. When I do, 3/4 of the time, it’s because of where my headspace is at the time. Not them, not the person or people I’m neglecting. I pray the Lord give you insight and direction to know how to pray in light of this.

    May He continue to enlighten you as to His faithful, constant presence!

    Love and prayers!

    Peach

    1. Hi Peach, oh gosh thank you for your prayers friend – you’re right – i think i need to also examine my own actions to make sure i’m not being radio silent with anyone i should be reaching out too. that right there is wisdom and i thank you for that!!! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

  30. Caralyn, this time of quarantine has really gotten us to look at what is really important. So often when we are busy with life, we do not spend time really getting down to the essence of life. Love your Emmanuel, God With Us, focus. Sending love and hugs! This will end!

    1. you’re so right about that – the essence of life — and that’s Him!! thanks for stopping by! hang in there! Hugs and love xox

    1. aw thank you so much Amy for your kind words. You’re right – i think a lot of people are dealing with loneliness right now. hang in there! Hugs and love xox

      1. This lockdown is the worst. Apparently one of my teeth decided to split in half and 2 weeks in its irritated. Of course there’s no dentists in my area that is open currently with the stay at home order. Everyone is too afraid of going out. So with swishing around ice cold water and some Listerine every couple of hours hopefully it’ll be calm. There is a loose part of the tooth I’ve been trying to loosen even further that hopefully will eventually fall out but it’s still in there. Think it got irritated with some food getting stuck in between. Lockdown is still on for several weeks but with no cure to the virus it seems this will go on for months…

      2. OH NO!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh i am so sorry about that!!!!!!! oh goodness my heart goes out to you, tooth issues are the absolute worst. I hope you can find a solution ASAP! I’ll be praying for you!!!! Hugs and love xox

      3. Thanks. It’s not too painful at the moment just sore but then since I still work at an essential company its probably not on my mind but even then it’s kind of cold out too so that most likely helps too.

        I forgot my Listerine for work though but it’s ok. It’s mostly aggravated when I eat (or talk too much). So yes hopefully this will resolve soon enough. I’ll be buying some Vanilla ice cream it should help it clear out soon, seems like the nerve is flamed up, if it was an exposed nerve the cold water would basically make it 10x worse.

        But thank you.

      4. Lol well it seems ice packs work better. Ate the whole thing of ice cream but it didnt do much. At least it was on sale. The lower side of my face/jaw is frozen now. Fun times.

  31. Big hugs from Vegas!
    There’s a reason the tomb is empty! So Jesus could go and seek and be with the people… ie. Mary Magdalene, Cleopas, Thomas, Disciples and Peter at the seashore…
    Once out of the tomb he can be Emmanuel! He knocks on the door of your heart and when you open the door, your name is on His lips…
    Hang in there! ❤️

    1. Amen tot that! the tomb is empty 🙂 wow – what a comforting thought 🙂 He’s always knocking on our hearts’ doors! Hugs and love xox

  32. I’m introverted so it’s kinda what I am used too all the time but even I’m feeling it.. I’m sorry.. yes the LORD is exactly how I cope with my lot in life.. and creativity helps too.. but sometimes I’m just not motivated to create.. that my hardest battle.. people will try to solve it for you I haven’t read through comments.. that’s what happens when I share openly.. there’s unfortunately a cost that comes with baring ones soul.. but it always helps to be deeply honest.. especially if you find some genuine souls who accept you as you are.. ohh the sun just came out, outside my window.. You have followed my blog faithfully when so few others find me.. I will pray you are strengthen for every day forward.. God bless you..

    1. thank you so much for your prayers and kindness – you’re so right – He is our way to cope!!! stay well my friend! praying for you too! Hugs and love xox

  33. Thank you for sharing this – it’s true that loneliness and social isolation can be just as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So ironically, we’re exchanging one health problem (the coronavirus) for another. And I know exactly how you feel when you reach out to someone and there’s just “radio silence.” That’s why I appreciate the fact that you always take the time to respond to our comments.

    Remember, you are not alone! Stay strong 🙂

    – Katie

    1. Thank you so much Katie! What a sobering statistic. And you’re so right. Mental health is important! Hang in there my friend! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

  34. My dear Caralyn,

    These times are really hard for us all, to be separated from the loved and dear ones – but in fact we are not separated (from outside it is looking like that) but from inside we are all connected. Not only connected with all brothers and sisters in the world, within the whole creation – we are also connected as a waterdrop with the Ocean. When we become aware of this, we do not feel lonely anymore, we feel the presence of Him and all brothers and sister with their silent voice in us.

    God is living in all of us, so He sees what see, He hears what we hear, He feels what we feel, He is even closer than our own skin to us with His ear permanetly on our heart. Just close your eyes and feel Him in you. Let Him be present in you all the time, then you feel the waves of this Giant Ocean in you, you feel, you are not alone, you feel all drops connected to each other, no high, no better, but consiousness in His Super-Conscousness, a collective consciousness, consisting of Billions of units of consciousness. Sometimes we think of a person we have not seen or heard anything from him/her for a longer time – suddenly the phone is ringing ant that person is on the phone… Our thoughts are together, we are not separated. Real surrender to God is to let go our own ego and mind that stays here and there is God – but the two are not two, not separated, they are ONE. With this knowledge that He is always with us, nothing can bring us down. When we think He is here, then He is here but when we think He is away, then away He is…

    I wrote this to give you some condolence in your pain to feel lonesome. Just focus your attention on Him and you are no longer alone, my friend. All our relatives and friends may leave us when the hour comes when we have to leave this body, but He will be there as He is always with us according to Jesus Christ: “Lo, I am with you always even to the end of the world. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.”

    What we also have to learn in these days: To live with us, to accept us, to stay with us, to be in harmony with us.

    I big hug from heart to heart, my dear Caralyn
    Much love and light to you and a plaster on your mind that you need not to feel lonely, dear friend 🙂
    Didi

    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful note of encouragement Didi. I can’t begin to express how much this touched my heart in a meaningful way tonight. Yes. Focus on Him!!! That’s the best advice. 🙂 sending you so much love! Hugs xox

      1. Let us be happy together in Him, my dear friend Caralyn 🙂
        Take Him with you in every step you make, wherever you are.
        Much love and light to you, my friend – thumbs up! 🙂
        Didi

  35. Emmanuel. Amen. This is what keeps me up. People being without people. We were created for communion with one another. And as much I crave an empty house right now, I cannot complain because I am NOT alone. And you are not. ❤️❤️. God hold and hug you tight!! I hope you get sooo soo many hugs soon!

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers! Amen – for communion. I can’t wait to be back with those i care for soon! Hugs and love xox

  36. this is surely the great equalizer… I have myself been taken to meditation of sorts, good breath in (god), bad breath out (virus) to get me through some nights in my own head, the panic is hard to push off sometimes, family members have the virus, deaths in my office manager’s family… it really is a time to do the best we can but also just realize we are not in charge, that is the shock of the word, we are not in charge, so I would rather believe that something or someone out there is greater than all this, and live up to that as best I can, as best I will. stay safe, the city is certainly a resilient place, I have learned that much over the years.

    1. Thank you so much David. The great equalizer indeed. You’re right – we’re not in charge! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

  37. This is a hugely uplifting post. Thank you, Carolyn! I’m feeling the isolation too … and I’m an introvert. Lol. Keep your chin up and stay well. x

    1. Aw thank you so much Lesley! So glad you think so! Hang in there my friend. Sending you so much love! Xox

  38. When I look at the Big Apple from my perch on the faraway shores of the South Atlantic, I stand astounded by the level of denialism and plain redneck rebellion against State interventions, given the rumble on Twitter. So many think it is ONLY America that is affected or that the global coronavirus outbreak is an assault on America alone.

    The mental world some live in, seems rather limited. Or, otherwise, some simply lack insight. We here in Cape Town have been in lockdown since around March 27, with many more weeks to come. It would appear that our infection graph isn’t incremental but flattened as a result of the lockdown.

    Maybe the vociferous patriots rather should give consideration to the survival of others more than their own comfort or supposed “human rights.”

    Aren’t adults supposed to be acting responsibly?

    1. Hi Pete, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. yeah, it has definitely bombarded the rest of the world, that is not unnoticed – at least with the people I run with. stay safe friend. Hugs and love xox

      1. I wonder if the hunger or wanting to gnaw at things is psychological. After all, been living a solitary life since 21 Jan 2018 and usually didn’t eat during the day, yet now my wifey is at home, I can devour a department store six times a day.

      2. Interesting thought! haha devour a department store — never heard that one, but it gave me a smile this morning, so thank you 🙂

      3. I crave something FRESH, tired of food that was locked down in stuffy tins. I can kill for a melon or a juicy peach. Or even a tomato. Even a tiny cocktail tomato.

  39. Yes it is a struggle adjusting to this strange new lifestyle. We can all be there for one another whether it’s by picking up the phone or one of the many digital services at our disposal. Writing helps for me and hopefully it has been a savior for you as well. I enjoy reading your posts and If it helps to know that your words are reaching many than feel encouraged. You might be lonely but you are not alone.

    1. thanks Larry – you’re right about that – writing has been tremendously helpful to me too!! glad this resonated with you 🙂 thank you for your encouragement my friend! Hugs and love xox

  40. Amazing content , That reality, this when we able to know well who our loved ones are through calls and text …

    1. aw thank you Rene!! you’re right about that! hang in there friend! sending love and hugs! xox

  41. Lots of love and hugs to my friend. Praying this stupid virus goes away soon. We are in Day 20 of the lockdown but it’s not too bad here in New Zealand. I am taking one day at a time and staying positive this won’t last long l’m pretty sure😊

    1. thank you so much Sanjana for your prayers and kind words! I’ll be praying for you and your community too! yes! one day at a time! Hugs and love xox

  42. Hey Caralyn, it is testing us all in our own ways. But the main thing I see for you is that you have indeed found your self love, God just nudges us occasionally to show us that very thing. Could you imagine going through this from where you were before? Your heart has learned to sing again dear lady and He is watching that reborn jewel, a shining light in His view. Be proud of that 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

    1. Hi Mark, thanks for sharing your powerful thoughts on this. You know, I was actually just talking about that with my mom — i couldn’t imagine going through this being back in my anorexia. Especially alone in an apartment – that would have been a road to destruction. I actually broke down in tears of gratitude, when I was talking about it — God’s deliverance is a powerful thing. Thank you for reminding me of that incredibly important truth! big hugs to you xox stay well x

  43. Beautifully transparent post. I lived in NYC for 10 years; moved away 2 years ago. My ex-husband still lives there; sometimes a fear sneaks up that my daughter may not see her dad again. I find myself praying for protection for my beloved friends in NYC as you all have been hit very hard. Thank you for posting your real and raw thoughts. And thank you for the reminder of Emmanuel. Grace and peace to you as the days go by.

    1. Hi JoLayne thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Yeah, once NYC is in your blood, a little bit always stays there 🙂 thank you for your prayers! NYC is definitely hurting right now, but we’ll get through 🙂 stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

  44. I cannot begin to fathom what life is like for you during these days. But I know that God is holding you closer than ever! I pray for you each time I scroll through my Reader and see your blog, that you will know more than ever the peace of God that transcends all understanding.
    Blessings,
    Pastor Chuck

    1. Hi Chuck, thank you so much for your generous words. Yes – i do feel God especially close right now, which i am grateful for! thanks for your prayers!! know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

  45. I find it interesting that to all different degrees, Caralyn, we are alone in our “deserts” during this crisis as Jesus was in a real desert for 40 days. However, the isolation forces us to look inward, as you have done, and that is where we will find Jesus. He is always less than a heartbeat away! Be strong; be safe! Ted

    1. thank you so much Ted – you’re so right – the timing with all of this is absolutely uncanny. Not a coincidence, i’m convinced! Amen! a heartbeat away! stay well! Hugs and love xox

  46. “But I think I need to remember that we’re all coping with this upended reality in the best way that we each know how. And much how everyone grieves differently, so too are we each surviving this difficult season of isolation — and that looks differently for everyone.”
    This is soooo true!! Everyone does deal differently and it’s good for an extrovert (like you) to point out the differences to an introvert (like me). Initially, it was a nice break to be at home, because with three kids we are always on the run (and we homeschool!). There was so much to do at home and the kids have kept my husband and I busy. But the longer this goes the more challenging it gets. I miss my friends! And I need to remember to reach out to my extroverted friends (and introverts) to touch base and let them know I care not just think of them. Thanks for the reminder!

    1. thank you so much! Yes! No one has ever dealt with anything like this, and so we’re all just trying to make it through the day. I think that’s really important to remember. Yeah – missing friends is a biggie for me too!!! thanks for sharing your heart! stay well! praying for you and your family! Hugs and love xox

  47. Sister, you are never alone, the Holy Spirit of God dwells in you. He said that I hold you in my hand and my father holds me in his. No one can take you from me or my father. I know it is difficult for such a loving person as you to be without direct social interaction, and without the touch of a loved one. Close your eyes and hold on to the feelings of the warm embraces that are stored in your mind and heart. This period of dryness will not last forever. When I feel isolated, I think of how Paul spent 2 years in prison in Rome. He focused on writing letters to encourage his loved ones in Christ. He sought a deeper understanding of the will of God. I, on my Facebook site (Way of Christ Ministries) have tried to encourage our fellow believers in seeking a deeper prayer life and a greater study of scripture. This isolation can be such a time of spiritual development in Christ, one like you have never known before. I pray for you, know that you are loved and I send you a spiritual hub… LOL. You are such an encouragement to those around you, your family, and your internet fans. I do know, that even those who are a source of encouragement need encouragement. So I beg of you to look not to your own understanding, but to trust in the Most High who loves you beyond life itself. He is with you now.

    1. Oh gosh thank you so much for this comforting response. You’re so right – I’m holding onto those warm embraces 🙂 And wow what a powerful truth to rememeber! thank oyu for your prayers, know that you’re in mine too!!!! stay well!! Hugs and love xox

  48. Beautiful post! I can relate to many of the feelings you express. I was determined to be positive and encouraging in the beginning of this, but this time of isolation has revealed things I did not want to face. Past memories and hurts have come around, some of which I never dealt with when they were fresh. You brought us back to the rock solid truth that God is with us, promising to never leave nor forsake us. Thank you for allowing God to work through you to deliver truth and hope with each post!

    1. thank you so much Matthew 🙂 I’m sorry you can so personally relate. Yeah this time of solitude gives us nothing but time to think, and sometimes those painful memories bubble up. praying for you friend. amen – He will never leave us!! praying for you friend! Hugs and love xox

  49. I’m reminded of the first question and answer in the Heidelberg Catechism:

    Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?

    A. That I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.

    Thank you for being open about your loneliness, and more than that, about your hope in our Lord Christ! I’ll be praying for your endurance and comfort during this difficult time!

    1. Oh my gosh wow what a powerful question to consider! Thank you for sharing that, wow. Gotta say, i need to read the catechism. As a cradle catholic, it was an aspect of my faith that I took for granted, and have never really delved into. but i should, because it really makes scripture come alive in a very nuts and bolts, tangible way. thank you for your prayers! know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

  50. I just wanted to leave a word of encouragement: Hang in there, keep blogging, you’re doing good. I found your sweet expression of faith very touching, I’m so glad you found that something that helps sustain you, that hand in the darkness. I don’t share the same faith, I have another that sustains me and keeps me steady and sailing straight, but I always like to stop and consider where faiths overlap and share important, or not so important things in common.

    I am at home with my small family, grateful for the company of these kooky people who share many of my interests so we can all find some entertainment together. (mostly games, movies, some art projects) I am busy reminding myself to be grateful when our space seems to constrict and annoyances appear to swell. I remind myself to be kind, as the gods are often kind to us. We will get through this, as a world community, if we all remember to be kind.

    1. Hi friend! oh my gosh thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement! you’re so right – kindness is so important right now, and always! And amen – it’s a beautiful thing to build bridges 🙂 love that – thank you for your heart. stay well! thinking of you and your family during this time!! Hugs and love xox

  51. Yes, the name Emmanuel, God with us, has been standing out these days for me because it is the very mindset we need to embrace. That no matter how it looks or feels, we must remember who He is and what He has already done. Faith in Jesus is a gift, repentance is a gift, knowing the name of Jesus is a gift…I’m understanding that more myself. Thank you for sharing your heart. God is with you and He is holding your hand. As we draw near to God, He draws near to us but His presence never leaves us because we are His. Prayers going up! God bless you and your family. 🙏 ❤

    1. Amen to that! Thank you for your prayers! So true – He draws near to us!! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

  52. Just remind yourself that what you are feeling is what many of us feel. I miss my kids so much, but the sacrifice is worth it and yes God will guide us through this. Try some new recipes, we need them 🙂

    1. Thank you Alice – I’m sorry you miss your kids 🙁 amen to that – He will guide us through! Hugs and love xox

  53. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. As someone that also deals with a disorder (PTSD), I feel like others tend to overlook more strain it puts on people like us. I’m also a firm believer in Christ and although I am all the way in Alabama, I’m here for you! Great post!

    1. Thank you friend for your kindness!! Right back atcha! We’ll get through this! 🙂 hang in there friend!! Hugs and love xox

  54. Thanks again for another heartfelt post. I miss human interaction so much – the physical kind. The zoom/FaceTime is nice, but just not the same. I used to love going to the grocery store, and that has changed. No one looks at each other anymore and its like we are all afraid of each other by keeping our distance. I can’t help but wonder what it will be like when “life resumes”. Praying for you during this challenging time of quarantine.

    1. Thank you for your prayers Lisa 💛 know that you’re in mine too! You’re right – the changes in people’s interactions makes me so sad 🙁 hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful response 🥰 amen – He is our strength! Hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

  55. I just wanted to say, you are an inspiration to the whole world with your gut level feelings put out there as you share your heart. You inspire us to look deeper, examine where we are and to really see things for how they are. This will be over, eventually, and we’ll have have a newer way of looking at life and those around us. Continue to be honest with Who’s you are and yourself. Your posts are probably a life line for some. Take heart and enjoy the silence, because He Who Created All Things is very deep in the silence.

    1. thank you so much Steven, gosh what a kind response! i am so touched ! amen – we are going to gain a beautiful new perspective from this!! stay well! Hugs and love xox

    1. thank you Jim!! you’re right, i think we’re all collectively feeling this to some degree. hang in there dear friend. Hugs and love xox

  56. The church Jesus started had huge emphasis of “Fellowship”. God always seems to be right. I love what you’re writing. Hang in there. Writers always write best when the feelings are strong. I wrote something political today, which is something I don’t usually do. It’s entitled “Trump is not Jesus”. You might like it.

    1. thank you so much friend – youre right – fellowship, we’re seeing, is incredibly important! thanks for your encouragement!! Hugs and love xox

  57. Thankfully I don’t live on my own but your post connected me with them feelings that i have felt at other times in my life. Its not easy, you need to be strong mentally and even then it can be difficult.

    Do you at least have a baloney that you can connect with others.

    When this first happened one of the pluses that helped me through that time was the amount of music, art etc that would could from this time, but as the weeks roll on, I find that just getting through this time will take all our efforts.

    Its not easy time off, its time on, dealing with loneliness in your case, then on the flip of that personality clashes with those that you live with. As everyone is stress and anxious and it does spill over from time to time.

    I wish you all the best, keep writing, maybe doing a vlog miss help you through, just some thoughts and feelings.

    🙂

    1. thank you so much for your encouraging words! i don’t have a balcony, but every day at 7pm when the city cheers for the health workers, i always stick my head out the window and cheer:) hehe and yes – music is so so so important! hang in there!! Hugs and love xox

      1. Yeah the sense of community this is building is one of the most positive things to come out of this. Now, no matter where you are in the world you can start a conversation with everyone you meet, which in turn will take us closer together. 🙂

      2. i agree! amen!! it’s one of the beautiful outcomes, a silver lining – of all of this

  58. We all will go through a period of loneliness during this quarantine, especially those of us who live alone. When I was a kid, even in a household of 7, there were more quiet times. There was only one phone in the house, a handful of tv stations that Dad controlled, and no internet. The world was quieter. But we now are used to being bombarded with stimulation. Quiet time forces us to think, ponder, pray, and just be. This brief interlude can lead to more introspection.

    1. Hi Mary, thank you so much for this kind response. you’re so right – this is such a surreal time to embrace the quiet and distance ourselves from all the stimulation. Technology can be exhausting!!! And amen! i pray that we all can grow closer to Him during this season of introspection. Hang in there!! Hugs and love xox

  59. Looking at the world right now, its like someone heard the Backstreet Boy song – “Show me the meaning of being lonely” and said.. OK, here… Have some Corona.
    I think that was a meme on Facebook about it.
    I laughed when I first saw it and then when I read this.. it all came back to how true it is…

    I’m working on lock-down post of my own, Caralyn. I’ll send you a link when I’ve published it. Basically querying the idea of getting back to normal and after being through what we have, would we really want it?

    As for loneliness, I’ve been alone all my life Care. You can feel loneliness even in a rush crowd. I know.. I’m sometimes at home with my family and I still feel all alone inside.. I know. It felt even worse on holidays… I’m currently stuck at home with my family and still, I feel it sometimes. It’s like I need a connection deeper than what I had with those around me.
    And you know.. maybe one day I will a strong connection with someone special, but I began to realize that if I was to have that I need to find a way to be whole by myself and that ability only comes from a relationship with Christ.
    I have learned to find a way to enjoy being alone. When loneliness creeps in, I just put on a song that helped me through hard times and remind myself where my strength comes from..
    In those moments… well… I’ll allow Mr. Kelly to say it…

    1. hahha on my gosh i cracked up at your Backstreet Boys throwback! AND SO TRUE!!! But for real, thank you for sharing your heart. I’m sorry you can relate so personally. And amen – a relationship with Christ is that balm to our soul. What a powerful lesson we’re coming to find during this quarantine. can’t wait to listen to this song – thanks for passing it along 🙂 hang in there dear friend! praying for you and your family! Hugs and love xox

      1. Its safe to say that this world will never be the same after this quarantine – neither will we. We will come out of this different than when we went in. It depends on us. Are we willing to listen to the voice of God and allow him to teach us..?
        There is always something God has to teach us – about Himself, about us, about our world… We just have to keep our hearts and minds open.

      2. you’re right about that – we will all come out of this changed – and i pray that those positive changes stick!! 🙂 amen! He’s always teaching!

  60. Hi there, Thanks for sharing about your home and life. You’ve come a long way and you are prospering since I last read your blog. Congratulations! Don’t fear. You are hiding under the shadow of The Lord’s wings.

      1. Hello again,
        Congratulations on your progress and confidence in blogging.
        I read one of your recent blogs about George Floyd. You mentioned the importance of remembering his name.
        This inspired my blog which I published this morning,
        You also went on to say it is important to tell one’s story. Well I have written a book last year. My husband who is an experienced writer is helping me finish it. My book tells how God helped me through early years of my married life and having children.
        Your words today encouraged me to get the book finished.
        Thank you so much and God bless you. Angela
        Ps I don’t know your name.

      2. thank you so much, Angela! I’m so glad that piece resonated with you. Congrats on writing your book! that is very exciting! glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox – Caralyn 🙂

  61. Oh my friend!! You are not alone in this feeling in fact, it’s what makes you human with that big beautiful heart of yours. There are many many times throughout my own day where I remind myself that even though I feel alone in my mind that I never never truly alone because I have God to talk with. You and I both love people and human interaction is what we are built for biologically! I forced myself to go to the grocery store on Saturday and when I came home I cried. The feeling of others recoiling from me from fear was so overwhelming. The expectations I usually have for friendliness and small talk were no where to be found in our current environment. I’m here to tell you, as the highly sensitive person and empath that I am, when you’re feeling – you’re healing! Let those feelings flow through your body, accept them and embrace them for they are what make you the beauriful human being you are. Sending you lots of love with a big virtual hug ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! And wow i love what you said – when you’re feeling you’re healing. So powerful!! Stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

      1. My pleasure my friend😊 From one woman who survived self inflicted pain and trauma to another survivor I often remind myself to lean into my feelings because I learned from a young age to dissociate from them in an attempt to keep myself safe. That was a very maladaptive approach that hurt me further and wreaked havoc upon my life. It’s a sign of strength to feel not to act like you don’t. Feelings are what makes us human. Lean in sister, lean in❤
        Btw…I wanted to like your reply but my app here on my cell is acting up😉 probably because you have so many wonderful comments ❤🙏

      2. 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 what profound wisdom – thank you again 🥰 love u friend!

  62. A beautiful post 💚 we are truly not alone~thank you for sharing. I believe it’s something in which everyone can relate. Interestingly, I’m an introvert; but I was a “forced” extrovert in my career. It’s hard to embrace uncertainty. And I’m so thankful that our Heavenly Papa is with us every step of the way. I’m praying for your health and well-being. Keep up the wonderful work of being a light in this world.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words K! Amen – we’re never alone! Stay well!! Hugs and love xox

  63. Thank you for your post reminding us that if we know Jesus we can never be alone.

    It is funny how this time of isolation refines priorities. Relationships = important; job title = not important; sharing life with others = important; accumulation of material possessions = not important, believing in more than human wisdom= important, knowing the most facts = not important.

    To me this slow down of activities and loss of face to face time with friends and family has been hard, but it has shown me again that I am not in control of my life. My need to depend on God through this time has been liberating.

    I am praying that the next time those Manhattan walls encase you Our Lord will make surround you with His love and comfort easing the loneliness.God bless you in every way.

    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kindness my friend. You’re so so right – it redefines our priorities for sure! What a powerful perspective. Hugs and love xox

    1. Aw SR, you are just the greatest, thank you my friend. Today was actually an exceptional day. 🙂 I spent the afternoon in Central Park and my heart is so full. 🙂 thank you for checking in. You’re a great friend. How are *you doing today??

  64. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way! It’s in these times of uncertainty that I turn to my faith in God and trust he is with us. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. Hi Rachel, thank you so much for your kind words! Amen to that! He is with us, and that is such a comforting truth! Big hugs to you xox

    1. Thank you so much for that powerful perspective Jolie. You’re right about that. Hugs and love xox

  65. Here in Minnesota, we haven’t been as isolated for as long, and I already worry as much about the spiritual and mental health impacts of this outbreak as the virus itself. Let’s not “get back to normal” — let’s make our resurrection just as glorious as His.

    1. Thank you so much J! I’m right there with ya – those implications will be monumental. Amen! Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much Becca, I’m glad this resonated with you. Hang in there friend! We will get throug this! Hugs and love xox

  66. Good evening, my dear. Your raw & honest post touched my heart. I must admit that I have to be very careful about my news intake re: the virus as it can really bring me down. Your post was a powerful reminder of who is truly in charge. Thank you. Back home, we pray for you every morning. Keep the faith! It won’t last forever… 😘 xo

    1. Then you so much mary. I’m so glad it hit home with you!! You’re right- the news can really be a source of negativity and fear. Thank you so much for your prayers! Know that you’re in mine too! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

  67. I hear you Caralyn! And yes, “Emmanuel” God with us is our only true hope during these lonely, uncertain times. I shared your blog post on my FB women’s group-Simply Balanced-Grace For The Religious Heart. I know I’ll be inspiring to many women. Much Love from Miami❤️

    1. thank you friend! amen to that! He is our hope! stay well! And gosh, i am humbled that you would pass this on! thank you!!! Hugs and love xox

  68. I just realized after seeking you out on your YouTube channel…you haven’t been recording your quarantine experience there-you should. You’re a natural on camera, very expressive, beautiful , and would be a greater source of encouragement to your followers. Come on girl go for it! You’re not doing acting gigs right now. Youtube might grant you a successful acting career in inspirational Christian films. 😉 Just a thought!

    1. Oh gosh, thank you for saying that 🙂 Perhaps I will do that for Thursday’s blog! that’s a great idea. i had been hesitant to do so, thinking it would just add to people’s “clutter” or “noise” — this was just the nudge of encouragement I needed, so thank you! hugs!

  69. I think the quarantine and dangers associated with the virus are so much harder for younger people. Seniors and people with chronic health conditions face a higher risk, and have also needed to address their own mortality. With most of us this, prior to the virus. So, what you’re feeling is a normal response. You also live by yourself, in New York, where the virus has been devastating for every age group. You’ve watched it play out in the media and your own neighborhood. Especially the truck with those who have died – which would be overwhelming for anyone to see. To some degree, were all in emotional overload. Just be gentle with yourself. There are also signs of hope that the pandemic and quarantine will end. Sending hugs and love! ♥️

    1. Sorry I digressed so much. I’ve been reading your posts, and my heart aches for you, living on your own, in New York, and seeing the devastation that is taking place. Normally, people comfort one another during traumatic events, giving hugs and face to face words of encouragement. Like, the way they did after 911. But, the isolation makes it so much harder. So, I think what we’re also missing is that level of comfort and support that only come from real human contact. There’s also only so much we can do to compensate for the feelings that isolation produces. I’m a native New Yorker, and people personal – and really understand what you’re saying about missing the pulse of the city. It’s also so nice to see how much you love New York. ♥️

      1. not at all! i really appreciate your reflection!! thank you!!you’re right – the isolation is incredibly difficult.

    2. hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Amen to that – i’m seeing those signs of hope too, and they are incredibly uplifting — just like your wonderfully kind words. so thank you 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  70. Excellent words–and so true! And you’re exactly right when you give this thing it’s real name: grief! And, yes, our Savior, the Source of all joy, is acquainted with such and completely understands!

    1. thank you so much Curtis!! i appreciate that 🙂 amen! source of all joy! Hugs and love xox

  71. The longer this goes, the more we end up inside our own heads to play, and there is nothing good in there to play with. When things start going sideways, it is always good to reach out to someone else. Your mother or father perhaps? Talk to them about positive things and your outlook will turn positive. For times between calls and facetime or whatever, it is always good to ask the Lord for a little pickmeup and things brighten up quick.

    1. you’re right about that – thank you for this great encouragement! reaching out to othres is so smart! Hugs and love xox

  72. This was hard to read. One: The pain you felt—the loneliness—shouldn’t be inflicted on anyone. Two: Because I cannot relate.
    I have always enjoyed limited isolation. People bother me, specifically, the ‘stupid’ they do to each other. So, I don’t mind being left alone for extended periods.
    That aside, I have my wife and two of my children nearby (and a grandchild with his parents right around the corner). Because of the wide open area we live in, there is still some interaction. There are some COVID-19 cases in the neighboring cities and one in my town. But I still get to be near my family. (I’m not trying to rub it in)
    I am truly sorry for your isolation. I am glad that you know that God knows you and your pain. Take comfort in Him. The one that loves you for who you are. The one that knows your pain and sorrow and knows you are strong enough to overcome.
    I know you can do this, and you will. Remember Him in your prayers and He will pour down blessings upon you in ways you can yet to understand.
    God bless.

    1. Thank you so much William for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m glad you’re able to be near your family!! Amen to that – take comfort in Him – love that 🙂 stay well! Hugs and love xox

  73. What a sad feeling you shared with us today, and experts tell us one of the equal dangers with the virus is our mental capacity to handle isolation. We were created to touch and interact not to sit in solitude and while the internet helps it does not substitute. I can remember overpowering loneliness in Asia surrounded by millions in my travels but inadequately prepared to communicate in all the places I needed to go and fearful of the unknown. It can seriously affect your health if you let it. I wonder if God allows us to experience this sometimes in order for us to fully understand how Jesus God felt separated physically from the warm embrace in heaven in order to come to this hostile earth to understand us so He could be our righteous understanding judge? Even His chosen disciples didn’t know how to relate to him and were a disappointment. Hang in there! You are too precious to let this get you down after fighting for your life and succeeding years ago. 🙂

    1. Hi Ian, thank you for your kindness, my friend. You’re right – the mental and social challenges are definitely real. That’s a really powerful question you ask there. I’ll definitely be pondering that. thanks for stoppin gby! stay well! Hugs and love xox

    2. and gosh – i am seriously so touched by your kindness – thank you again 🙂 grateful for you!

    1. I’m sorry, Avalon – that hurts my heart. You’re no outcast here 🙂 i count you as my friend!! 🙂 hang in there! Hugs and love xox

      1. It was a spell that people didn’t talk to me anymore. I lost health, job, friends, family only my wife stayed, but her family secret was between us. I spoiled her, although I was nearly dead. But she didn’t leave until I found out the cause of ovarian cancer. Ones she accepted it, she left. Teenage pregnancy. It’s also a spell to control women with secrets. Besides it is natural behavior for mammals. But,..

      2. You helped, subconsciously. The GEISHA demon, eldest no 78,prince charles, camilla took her. 8 years ago, exactly, my wife claimed to have cheated on me. A forced liar (tooth gap in the front) she was with nearly no personal will. A drone and demon.

      3. But, you don’t have to be sorry. Or is there something you want to tell us. You know the series The Legend of the Seeker? He had something I did not have. Help!

      4. God did control ir punish. Serina Williams, aka Pandora, is the head of that monster. It is God vs. Men. Aliens vs. Predator.

  74. Caralyn, I have been praying for you every chance I get. All that death certainly can’t help.
    At the same time, I am wonderously amazed at your willingness to send out encouraging messages, whether they be uplifting, or being honest enough to drag your readers with you, so that they know what you are experiencing. That is a great and needed thing, considering the news fightf so much, there is room for what New Yorkers are going through. Please know you are not alone. Your messages still uplift just by showing that your source of hope is still our Jesus! <3
    The monkeys give a smile too. 🙂
    I know you are award free, but I still wanted to thank you as I have nominated you for the Fix Her Crown Award.
    Please don’t feel obligated to participate.
    I just want to recognize your uplifting encouragements.
    May the Lord bless you! He loves you!
    https://gaillovesgod.blog/2020/04/16/fix-your-crown-award-6-9-19/

    1. Hi Gail! oh my gosh you are just the sweet, thank you so much for your prayers and kindness! i am feeling your prayers my friend! know that you are in mine too! I am so encouraged by this. you’re a blessing to me. and gosh – thank you for the nomination! what a sweet honor 🙂 love you dear friend! God bless you! Hugs and love xox

  75. I had a similar experience last week. It’s so wonderful to know that God is with us, all the time. And all we have to do is remember that and we can feel our hearts start to instantly heal. I’m lucky – I’m an introvert and the lockdown has barely affected my lifestyle. But I do sympathise with extroverts such as yourself who are finding these times difficult. Thank you as always for your wonderful writing and heartfelt honesty. Bye for now 🙂

    1. Hi Rock, thank you so much for sharing your heart. Amen to that – all the time He is with us. hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

  76. Your Post is spot on as always! It’s such trying times for us but then, we have Jesus. He’s with us! So we hold on to His amazing and unfailing love! Thank you for this amazing post!

    1. oh gosh thank you so much my friend. amen to that – We have Jesus! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

      1. Hugs and love right back at ya!! I hope you are doing fine too! Don’t worry, this time too shall pass!! Stay well and safe!! More ink to your writing! 💖💖

  77. You are so right we are never alone. God is still in control and a constant companion to those who trust in Him. Satan wants us to believe the lie that was told through the priest years ago that the body of Jesus was stolen away by His disciples and so He never really rose on resurrection morning. That is a lie from the pit of hell. He rose and he is ever present in our lives. Be encouraged if you need to cry do it but never forget you are not alone. Tell him back off devil and continue to be the beautiful person you are!!!!!!

    1. thank you so much friend! Amen to that! He is our constant companion! I really appreciate this beautiful encouragement! amen! stay well! Hugs and love xox

  78. Praying for you 🙏🏽 and yes this is a tough time especially without being with loved ones. However your article is what WE all need to read and understand how others are feeling. Thank you so much and praying for you.

    1. Thank you so much Marion for your prayers!! Know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

  79. GREAT post as usual. ((((HUG))) there is a big hug, best I can do. I haven’t been reading posts lately, but this one hits the nail on the head. Fortunately/unfortunately I am an essential employee, but high risk. Loneliness is tough, but fear is what’s gripping me. So much has happened especially with those I have lost, it all hits too close to home. Take care, be safe.

    1. Thank you friend, I appreciate that so much. Praying for you. I’m so sorry for your loss – how incredibly devastating. Hang in there. Hugs and love xox

  80. “Quarantine exposes people’s true colors – their true selves.” This is very true and I agree with every piece of this statement. I have seen ways in me that God exposed that I have never knew I was showing before. It’s a time of the cleansing of our hearts, minds, souls and spirits before the King! Although I still get to go out for working purposes I do feel grieved and heavy in my heart where this is concerned. Truly He is with us and we are never alone. Thank you for that powerful prayers! God bless and keep you strong in JESUS name. <3

    1. Hi Tammy!!! Thank you for this lovely response. Cleansing our hearts minds souls and spirits – oh my gosh i absolutely love that!!! stay well my friend!! Hugs and love xox

  81. Such a powerful blog. Raw, authentic, relatable and inspirational. Thank you for sharing your heart. May the perfect love of God tangibly surround you always.

    1. Thank you so much! I’m so glad it hit home with you! and gosh, thank you for that. same for you!! Hugs and love xox

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