“Good Person” Christianity

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently. About a lot of things: life, family, relationships, the state of the world. Frankly, for an overthinker like me, there’s a lot of available options to dwell on, given the current reality of life in 2020.

But especially recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about my faith. And the toll 2020 has taken on it.

Let’s be honest — for a “cradle catholic” who has never missed Mass a day in her life – (except one Sunday in Iceland when there was literally no church within a 4-hour radius) – going nearly 4 months now, without physically going to church…it has had a greater impact than I’d care to admit.

Sure, I watch a livestream of Mass on Sundays, but it’s just not the same. It’s missing something.

And as a result, I’m afraid I’ve frolicked my way into the quicksand territory of “Good Person Christianity.”

You know what I’m talking about — the…But I’m a “good person,” so I must be solid in my faith … mindset.

For example, I am what you’d call… a “waver.” I like to wave at people with a smile. Running, passing people on a walk, driving — doesn’t matter the situation, if our gazes pass, I’m gonna wave at ya. I call it the Midwesterner in me — my friends call it absurd. But whatever you call it, it’s a nice feeling to make someone smile.

But that’s the thing: God doesn’t want a church full of “good people” who wave at their neighbors, or give up their parking spot at the grocery store. A wave does not, a Christian, make. He wants a church full of believers. He wants a church full of people who have invited Jesus into their hearts and prioritize that relationship. And then let that change them. And sure that may result in behaviors that read as “nice” from the outside — but it needs to go beyond just that surface level.

And I’m afraid I’ve fallen into that convenient, surface level “safe space” of “good person” Christianity. I’ve developed a cruise control faith life, thanks to quarantine.

This social isolation has forced us to take the initiative when it comes to our relationship with Jesus. It’s made us take responsibility for prioritizing our walk with Christ — and unfortunately I think I’ve fallen asleep at the wheel.

Christianity in 2020 is a different breed. Life circumstances and the cultural climate in 2020 has challenged Christians to take the initiative in their spirituality without the guiding mentorship of a physical church with people and pastors and fellowship and togetherness.

We’re on our own. We’re out to sea, in a single passenger “dingy,” and the waves are roaring and crashing, and it’s up to us and our own personal sailing skills to navigate the rough waters.

So today’s the day I’ve decided it’s time to take control of my ship. It’s time to tighten the sail, grab the wheel, and get back on track. And if perhaps, some of this sounds familiar to you, then I’d like to invite you to do the same.

Starting today, I’m going to prioritize my relationship with Christ. I’m going to listen to worship music around the house. I’m going to make time to spend a minutes in the Word. And I’m going to pray for the Holy Spirit to move in my heart to want to love Jesus more.

Isn’t that a beautiful thing? A friend shared that with me in college – she would always pray for help to want to love Jesus more.

And I think that is exactly the ticket: wanting to love Jesus more. Desiring to fall more in love with Jesus every day.

Being a “good person” is simply not enough.

Lord, transform my heart, and help me to want to love you more.

What are some ways you plan on strengthening your walk with Christ?

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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255 thoughts on ““Good Person” Christianity”

    1. Thank you Tonya!! You are such a great friend and encourager!!! Grateful for you!! Love you! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Excellent points! Pastor and evangelist Greg Laurie has always said: Heaven is not full of good people; but forgiven people. It is so easy to slide into the thinking: “As long as I didn’t do sins X, Y, Z, I’m good.” However, we are still guilty of other things, such as pride, so that still keeps us away from God and true holiness.

    Like you, I too have grown up in church and never missed a day except for traveling and vacation among heathens (j/k – it’s called a cruise). 😀

    Hope you had a great weekend!

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    1. Thank you so much!! Oh my gosh I LOVE THAT! yes! Forgiven people!! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much!! I think you’re absolutely right – we are to emulate His perfect example! Hugs and love xox

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    1. You are so absolutely right. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read it! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Hmm. Cruise Control Faith. I can relate. These days have been particularly hard for us extroverts in the audience. I’m assuming you are one too?
    To answer the question you posed, I plan to deepen my discipleship with Christ during this time by journaling more and reading more scripture on a consistent basis. I also plan to reach out to people more–because I am a people person.

    God’s best to you, Caralyn. Please don’t be too hard on yourself. These times are challenging for all of us and somewhat unprecedented. As you say, hugs and love.

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    1. Thanks David, for sharing your heart. Yes – huge extrovert. That’s such a great idea – journaling is such a powerful tool for the heart, mind, spirit and soul. I appreciate your encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  9. I bought a bunch of bible commentaries on the New Testament by Rev. Dr. N. T. Wright, so I can better understand what how to read more effectively. For example, who is speaking, who does a pronoun refer to, how much time has passed, and how do stories in the same vchapter or previous chapters work together to teach a single lesson? As someone taught as a minister, I never went to seminary. With a PhD in Sociology, I would love to go to seminary, even at nearly 69 years old, as you are never too old to learn new things. I have also enjoyed attending my old church in CA on Zoom and hearing preaching that I had missed. I even with a cracker and Powerade took communion yesterday, for all that matters is symbolically seeing them as the broken body and blood of Christ, given for our sins. That really made me feel connected to my brothers and sisters in Christ. It’s funny, but I had the same prayer this morning: Jesus, teach me how to love you more and have a closer relationship with you.

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    1. Oh that’s such a wonderful idea!! And I love the physical symbol you used yesterday – I may need to try that! And that’s so great that you had that prayer as well!!! Praying for you, friend. Hugs and love xox

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  10. One thing that helped me survive mid-March through mid-May was tuning in, more than I ever have, to liturgies from Rome. Somehow, being with the Pope for Sunday Mass and the Angelus kept me locked into the idea that we are all part of a greater whole, that despite of the local limitations, Francis was still leading the Church and we would be okay in the end. And we will be. Hugs and love from stormy Kentucky– Mike

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    1. Yes! I have been watching the popes daily masses as well! You’re so right – it is a comfort. Thanks Mike for sharing that!! Sending hugs and love xox

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  13. So true, Very well written and we all have to look hard at how we live in tune with Jesus not patting ourselves on the back for being such good people

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    1. Thank you Jo! I really appreciate that. You’re right, we have to look at how we’re in tune with Him! Hugs and love xox

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  14. Thank you for never being afraid to talk about GOD, Jesus, and being a Christian. Its refreshing to read it and feel the spirit it brings. Its is especially hard in California where the Governor is trying to pass a law against worshiping, your words help push back these challenges to our faith. Thank you.

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    1. Thank you so much! I am so touched by this encouragement, it really means a lot. Oh gosh that is just such a scary thought!! Hugs and love xox

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  15. This extended time of isolation is a perfect time to hit the reset button and begin habits and ways of thinking that are more productive. There are Bible apps online that provide reading plans (and daily reminders!) That might be a good place to start. Actually, you’ve already started in a good place!

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    1. You’re right about that – a great reset time for sure. And what a great idea! I’ll have to check the ap store! Thank you!! Hugs and love xox

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  16. As one of my Christian friends told me once “ god is watching and he knows”. I suspect he is thrilled at the type of Christian you are. It comes through in every post.

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  17. What a beautiful post💖 Your not the only one to have slipped (as they say) I also have slipped and need to give myself a wake up call and perhaps reading your blog is just the kick up the preverbial butt I need. Thanks Caralyn 😀💖

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    1. Thank you so much Kenneth!! I’m glad this struck a chord with you. His grace and mercy are amazing! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Sounds as if we both have just drifted a little with the Salvation Army being a nondenominational church you’ll probably know we only have services on a Sunday

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    1. Thank you so much – I really appreciate that 🙂 that’s the goal!!! 🙂 hehe Hugs and love xox

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  19. Guess we are on the same wave because today I spent extra time focusing on God. I stayed off social media except for reading a few blogs. I didn’t listen to any podcasts or music. Lots of prayer. I pray that more people are feeling the same desire to turn towards God!

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing that. Sounds like an awesome day! I’ll be praying for you! Hugs and love xox

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  20. Thank you, Caralyn for putting into words what so many of us are feeling. And giving an “action” response. I pray many will take your ideas and fall in love with Jesus more. I feel very blessed that I have been able to lead my ladies group right through all this pandemic. It is definitely hard to remain as steadfast when you cannot fellowship together with other believers. My group has the GroupMe app on our phones and we talk, share scripture, devotions, life happenings, etc, throughout the day every day. We encourage each other, remind each other, pray for each other, and just love each other through our words and written prayers. It helps so much to keep us close to God and to each other. I also have several Bible apps that give me a devotional scripture in my email every morning. This helps keep me accountable. And of course, we all have your wonderful words to tune into – you are such a blessing! Much love to you ❤

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    1. Thank you so much Mindy for sharing your heart! I’m so glad this resonated with you! What a terrific idea with the group chat!! And the app! Love that! I’ll be praying for you! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Great observation. Formalization establishes a pattern that easily disturbs our social media with our faith. I remember years ago, on the move, and not taking much time to catch up with my relationship with Jesus. I invited Him to join me for a cup of coffee. It was delightful. You have told your story to help so many. I do not feel that you are out of synch at all. Enjoy your days. The best is yet to come.

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    1. Thank you so much Dennis! Oh I love that so much – coffee date with Jesus! Wonderful! Hugs and love xox

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  22. Love this . And it definitely got me thinking . I also need to readjust my priorities. This hit me right in the heart. God should be first in our day not last or at all. I’m encouraged by your insight thank you!!

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    1. Thank you so much Jen!! I’m so glad it resonated with you!! Yes. Amen to that! Hugs and love xox

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  24. Single passenger dingy indeed! Thanks for tonight’s thoughts! I, too, am struggling with church. CTK is open for Sunday attendance, but every other pew is blocked off and communion is a continuous line. No chance to reflect on taking communion when the line has to keep moving.

    Then there are the masks. It all seems so wrong somehow. While I understand the reasons for them, they seem to isolate us even when we’re in person. When service is over, everyone bolts as if we’re in grade school and no one wants to get “cooties.” Not much fellowship in attending. Honestly, I’ve read documentation that both the CDC and WHO don’t think they’re as effective as hand-washing. Sooo…anyway…I continue to just “attend” online.

    Before COVID19 I would go to church during the week just to sit alone in the sanctuary to pray without distraction. Not possible now. Do you have any thoughts on anything I’ve written here? If you have time, I’d enjoy hearing what you think.

    Plus, I trust you had a fun weekend away from the city!

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    1. Hi Jeff! Thanks for sharing your heart – yeah, I hear you. Church is different in so many ways. Physical attendance was finally allowed this past sunday in nyc, and i am still afraid to go. I am terrified every time I have to go through a checkout line at the grocery and face the attendant, the thought of being in pews is just too much. so i’m with you in the online attendance. I absolutely have thoughts! the masks – you’re right – they’re incredibly isolating. We’ve become a culture that’s afraid of each other. It’s awful because it’s making us see eachother as less than human. Which — conspiracy hat here for a moment – is just another step down the slippery slope of dehumanization of people. Chipping away at what’s left of the sanctity of human life. it’s all just so sad. my question is where do we go from here? FL today halted their open restaurants, and other states i’m sure will follow suit. Travel bans. The entire entertainment industry – and economy – completely redlined. The country is in need of a savior. And how convenient that it’s right before an election. just rambling now. anywho – i so enjoyed reading your words, Jeff. Hang in there. i’ll be praying for you 🙂 the weekend was fabulous by the way! hope your fourth was too! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I’m sorry to read that you are so frightened when you have to be around people! But I understand given your health. You remain in my prayers. Masks! I completely agree. It’s another step in dividing people, in reducing people somehow. Honestly, Julie, Hillary and I have gone out to eat several times since restaurants reopened. Partly to support those home-grown businesses that are struggling. Plus – and this might be fatalistic – if the government says that they expect multiple peaks in infection rates, that’s pretty much admitting everyone is going to be exposed at some point. We decided not to live in fear.

        I did research on fatality rates with the flu and coronavirus. Since the start I’ve figured COVIDS morality rate is roughly 5-5.5%, depending on the infections vs. deaths reported. Then, on the same day headlines recently trumpeted an increase in mortality, the numbers actually showed a decrease at 4.7%! Couple that with the fact that the majority of fatalities are 60+, mortality for younger folks is well below 5% Probably closer to 3% or less.

        A dear friend in Florida was talking to his doctor about this, and he said that the problem with COVID is inflammation…just like with any such infection. He gives people steroid shots to reduce inflammation and has had success with his patients. I’m sure you’ll consult with your family who are doctors, but that’s something for you to bear in mind. I hope you find this useful.

        I still worry about you in NYC with all of the headlines I continue to read; huge reductions in police budget, fireworks as weapons, and a spike in shootings. I continue to pray for you. May God calm your heart in your fears! I wish I could give you another hug to reassure!

        I’m glad your weekend went well. Stay well. Be careful without fear, trusting in God’s guiding hand. Thank you for your prayers. I know they are effective!!

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      2. Thanks Jeff – yeah you’re right – the numbers are encouraging for sure. Yeah you and my dad both – the recent budget cut for the nypd has definitely been felt in a spike in crime. It’s really sad and scary. Thank you for your prayers Jeff!! Know that you and your girls are in mine too!! Amen – we can trust Him!! Hugs and love xox

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  25. It’s better to be a “Good Person Christian” than the kind of Christian a lot of people have turned into. You don’t need to be a Christian to be a good person, and you can still be Christian and be a piece of you-know-what. There are plenty of that variety out there.

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    1. that’s definitely a powerful perspective, Joshua, thank you for sharing that!! you’re right! Hugs and love xox

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  26. I love what you’re saying, and how you’re saying it here. During this time of increased isolation and not physically being able to be with any one except my husband for months and months, all my normal “chattiness” was becoming a real darkness. I started re-reading Henri Nouwen and his writings about the Desert Fathers and Mothers. His book “The Way of The Heart”, about the value of silence in our walk with the Lord, has been of immense help to me, I can see that the enforced silence and solitude has helped me grow so much—despite myself!! Blessings to you.

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    1. thank you so much!! I’m so glad this resonated with you. You’re right – there is such value in quiet. very inspiring – i’ll have to read up on that! thank you! Hugs and love xox

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  28. To me the essence of Christianity is not going to church though the strength one gets in fellowship is important. The essence is in imitating Jesus and certainly He did wave at people as He went by and show an interest in their spiritual and physical needs. Living our life according to His philosophy is being out in the community every day not just one day in a week demonstrating a life of happiness and genuine empathy in all that we do. We are to be “in the world, but not of the world.” That means demonstrating each moment of the day the superiority of living God’s principles and allowing people to contrast that with the mess our world is in because of not following heaven’s better way. Hopefully our life lived before others will tempt them to discard the selfishness of this world and practice a life of joy and fulfillment instead. 🙂

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    1. Hi Ian! Thank you so much for sharing your thoguhts on this! you’re so right about that – living like Christ is exactly that. In but not of! thanks for the encouragment! Hugs and love xox

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  29. As much as I love Oregon and believe God put that love in me for it, the Midwest friendliness is just not there. Moved from Missouri. But no regrets, I have learned much. Great post!

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  30. Yes, indeed. Very easy to fall into this territory. But, when we feel the tug of the Holy Spirit and heed it, that is the beginning of His working on our hearts. Sending you much love and many prayers as you seek to know and love Him more. ❤

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    1. Hi friend! thank you for the encouragement and prayers! you’re so right – the HS is our Advocate and Guide! praying for you as well! Hugs and love xox

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  33. Yes, we have to be our own motivator to follow Christ these days, especially if social isolation is still a reality in NYC and other cities around the world. In Miami, Catholic Churches are opened but following state guidelines. There are still rules, but the mass is on with full force. So good for you Caralyn…doing your own daily devotional and you’ll continue to grow in your Christian walk with or without attending mass. 😇

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    1. You’re so right about that! we’ve got to be self-motivated! thanks so much for your encouraging words, it really means a lot! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Hi there! When you’re not too busy please check out my last blog post. I respect and trust your critique but you don’t have to do it here publicly-I’d rather need your input about being approachable and not sounding like an English teacher. I’m trying to be casual since as an LA teacher I write as if I’m creating an essay. I want to seem approachble and not too structured. I hope I didn’t go overboard and made too many grammar mistakes.😂 P. S.. Grammarly has become my buddy!

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  34. Love your honesty! And yes I know it has been a trying time for many others as well, to not only stay in love with Jesus but also think deeply about what it means to be the church “scattered”. In some ways I imagine it’s more like what early believers faced- how do I do this when it’s just me? (Like the Ethiopian in the chariot when he went home ). Blessings my sister!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words! you’re right – scattered is the exact word! what a powerful thought. glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  35. Your q.,
    Steps of faith in relationships, life and business.
    And maintaining integrity of thought during the day. Such as with gratitude, confidence, artwork, good decision-making and use of time

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  36. This quote from Julian of Norwich might help,
    ““This vision was shown me to teach me – as I understand it – that it is necessary for everyone to feel in this way: sometimes to be comforted, and sometimes to feel failure and be left to oneself. God wants us to know that he keeps us equally safe in joy and in sorrow, and loves us as much in sorrow as in joy. And for the benefit of his soul a man is sometimes left to himself, although sin is not always the cause; for at this time I committed no sin for which I ought to be left to myself. Nor did I deserve to have the feeling of bliss. But our Lord gives freely when he wills, and sometimes allows us to be in sorrow and both come from one love. For it is God’s will that we keep ourselves, in good spirits with all our might, for bliss lasts forever, and pain passes and will come to nothing, therefore it is not God’s will that we should be influenced by feelings of pain to sorrow and grieve over them, but quickly pass beyond them and hold on to the endless joy that is God almighty, who loves and safeguards us.”
    ALSO: Throughout the Gospels, you can find Jesus teaching on the characteristics of His Kingdom people as they reflect the character of God in the world. The Church was never about brick and mortar. It was always greater than that. It was about a way of being in the world. God’s “Church” is within the people.

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    1. Hi Eric! oh WOW – that quote is so powerful! You’re so right – it’s like the whole, “going to bed hungry” sometimes. — you’ve got to experience a need to appreciate a blessing you’ve taken for granted. Wow – i’m very moved, thank you for sharing that. And that’s exactly right! church is not a building but the people! amen!! glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  37. When I walked outside the building years ago and did not return the next week it was extremely strange.. I’d been going since I was carried in by my parents.. since baby hood..

    I have learnt so much because out of the walls there’s no props.. it’s you and God and that’s it.. I could write a book I think..

    I do miss the people.. having likewise people around me.. But now I know that I’m in the true church because it’s not the walls holding me together it’s HIM..and it’s so personal now..

    Structure falls away.. what is left.. I do understand.. you are incredible though because you are one believer in God who has stuck by me sharing my faith and journey.. you really do find out the truest hearts.. the most faithful believers.. it’s a Spirit thing.. HE never leaves us and where are only two gathered.. HE is in the midst.. right here now with us.. it’s the most beautiful connection.. I believe it’s the true church.. and it pleases HIM.. I love to write him in capitals I know online it’s seen as shouting.. but I want to highlight HIM.. glorify HIM.. Bless you.. may your faith be strengthened.. eyes of your heart enlightened to the hope of your calling.. and the glorious inheritance of all the saints.. amen 🥰

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    1. thank you so much for this powerful perspective! you’re right – HE never leaves us, and what a beautiful connection indeed. and yes! we are to glorify HIM! I’m very touched by this – thank you! know you are in my prayers as well! Hugs and love xox

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  38. Love what you say here. I’ve found myself going on Christian “autopilot”; where my beliefs do not change but I put little effort into strengthening my relationship with God and actively seeking Him out. I’ve lately been trying to be more intentional, and not falling back on being “good”, but being a disciple for God and showing him to others through me.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. yes – i know the autopilot feeling well! your words are inspiring! yes! let’s actively seek Him! Hugs and love xox

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  39. This is me right now… except the “Good person” bit… I know myself too well to claim that, I think. But taking those baby steps toward not taking my faith for granted — goodness, I thought developing good eating/exercising habits was hard.

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    1. Hi Matt, thank you so much for sharing your heart on that! haha – i feel ya – it is so so difficult. what a blessing that we have a Helper in the Holy Spirit! Hugs and love xox

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  40. Great post! You know how a lot of people say, “God uses everything for the good to those who love Him?” Well, perhaps through this time, God wanted you to see how stable your faith is without any props holding your faith up. (Hey that’s pretty good. I might borrow this thought for my own blog post tomorrow! Thanks!)

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    1. Hi Mark! Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. you’re so right – God will use this for good, in His perfect timing! awesome, can’t wait to read it! Hugs and love xox

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  42. I see things this way, I am to do how God intended us to which is love one another. Yes, we love Him and we gather our strength, resilience, hope and deep faith but faith without workd is dead. Despite the distances we must keep from one another, I make it a point to check up on folks, leave an uplifting comment….something that helps better our world through the act of sharing love. We all need love, there is never too much of it. I have viewed our world as my church for quite sometime now. Good on you for reprioritizing your faith. It’s taking that love we have for Jesus and showing it through our interactions with everything. It’s never perfection but progress and an on purpose, “I’m going to choose to do this today”. I always appreciate your thoughtful posts reminding us to do what was intended, love❤🙏

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    1. I love this response so much. Thank you for this!! Amen – love one another!! It sounds like you are a great friend. I’m inspired!!! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Happy to shine light and be an inspiration. That’s why I personally write and it’s part of my mission. To share with others the hope and faith I have to overcome any obstacle. To love no matter what. Your comment made me 😊 hugs back xo

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  43. We’ve been watching our church online every week, but you’re correct that it’s not the same. Especially since we have a toddler who likes to be very noisy and distracting during the sermon. I miss the ability to focus on worshipping God at the same time as others in our church family. Having the church service just be part of the background is frustrating to me. But maybe having to listen to the message twice in one week so I can catch everything isn’t such a bad thing. I have definitely felt more drawn to God in this season of unrest and uncertainty. I pray more Christians will use this as an opportunity to shine bright instead of hiding in a bubble.

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    1. Hi Ellen! Thanks for sharing your heart! You’re so right – I miss that community church aspect too! I’m glad this season has drawn you to Him! Know you’re in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

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  44. Enjoyed reading this! But I got to say… your smile is amazing! Definitely saving the link to purchase a tube of this toothpaste in the future. God bless you miss.

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    1. Hi Oronde! I’m so glad it resonated with you! Oh my gosh you’re too kind! Yes! I love that toothpaste – I’m hooked! Hugs and love xox

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  46. I know exactly what you mean about the Mass livestreams not being enough. This past Easter was really weird for me and my family. Our church didn’t have any Holy Week services. So, we had to watch the simulcast from the church in Ohio. It was beautiful and a relief to have something sacred that week, but it made me realize how much I missed actually being physically present during the services. Our church recently reopened its doors and let me tell you! That first Sunday back was absolutely soul blessing (which is something beyond heart warming).

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    1. Thanks friend – I’m glad this resonated with you. Hahah doesn’t Easter feel like forever ago?!! Oh I’m so glad you’re allowed back!! Hooray! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Easter both feels like forever ago and like it didn’t actually happen. Like we went from Lent to Oops! Not Lent Anymore. And yes it is so good to be back. 🤩. Hugs and love back to ya!

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    1. Thanks so much Greg – glad this resonated with you. Hang in there! Praying for you! Hugs and love xox

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  50. Caralyn, there is nothing so delightful as a full service with the pageantry the music and the message- . Please look into Thomas Merton’s New Seeds of Contemplation- I believe you will find it helpful if not transformative

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    1. Thanks so much Jeff – you’re right about that – it’s a total emmersive experience! Thanks for the recco! Hugs and love xox

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