“Were you in a bad mood when you wrote this? It doesn’t sound like you…”
My parents called to ask me if I was okay after I sent them the draft of the post I intended to publish tonight.
It was about the inauguration. And I wrote it having not gone jogging yet, so yeah – let’s just say the level of “snark” was off the charts.
So I decided to scrap it. Hence why it’s eight o’clock and my post is an hour late. I decided that if I was going to put something out there for you to take the time to read, it needed to be actually worthwhile, and not a one-way-ticket to Destination Downer.
There was a lot of talk about “unity” yesterday. I’ve written about it before:
And frankly, my thoughts haven’t budged. It’s still a “conform, or we’ll label you XYZ-ist/phobic and blacklist you from society” kind of a tone, as evidenced in yesterday’s inauguration theatrics.
Which does, make me sad.
And to be honest, I’ve found myself harboring a lot of negative thoughts about President Biden. Particularly about how he is advertising how Catholic he is, and yet openly platforms for, and votes to go against the Number One teaching of the Catholic Church: the sanctity of human life. I find myself holding so much anger and, truthfully, resentment that he is on the global stage, under the brightest of spotlights, and absolutely shitting on Catholic moral teaching, while parading his faith.
It really, really makes me upset. And I’ve been carrying a lot of negativity on my heart, as my parents clearly picked up on in the draft of my first post.
But hanging out with my boyfriend last night for dinner, he said something to me that really made me reconsider everything. He said, “Will you give him a chance?”
Will I give him a chance?
*Sigh.* Why is he such a good man?
Yes. Yes, I promised him that I will.
Because that’s the thing that I feel God trying to teach me right now: tolerance.
Ironic, isn’t it? Because, tolerance is the actual ticket to unity…which, for all of its airtime, I have yet to hear anyone mention.
I’m spending so much emotional energy focusing on Biden’s short fallings. On his platforms that go against my beliefs. On the horrific pro-abortion legislature he defends that literally makes me want to throw up. (I’m doing it again…)
Not everything is a strict black/white dichotomy. That’s what got me in trouble with my perfectionism, and it’s manifesting now in my standards for others.
I need to remember that, a) we all have short fallings. (Hello, my list is a mile long with the deceptive and manipulative past I have with my eating disorder.)
And b) that we are all, at the end of the day, children of God, made by the same Father.
Biden: made by God. Harris: made by God. Me, you, everyone: made by God. And that means something. That means that we are ultimately on the same team. And though, yeah – some may have fallen off the path, or have made/are making terrible decisions –myself not excluded– we should strive to see one another as sibling of Christ, first, and then through that lens, consider the differences.
Because I’m telling you, if I spend the next four years harboring the same negative feelings as I do right now, I’m going to end up with grey hair, chewed off nails and a drinking problem.
So my challenge to myself, and you’re welcome to join me, is that from now on, whenever I learn of something Biden did that makes me want to scream, or feel hopeless about where this country is headed, I will just stop the negative thought dead in it’s tracks, and hand it up to God in prayer.
“Offer it up,” as they say.
Because, as St. Augustine – the saint that Biden cited in his address – reminds us, there will always be tension between the city of heaven and the city of earth: The earthly city springs from love of self and indifference to God, where the heavenly city, is born from love of God and indifference to self.
And therein lies the truth: We were not made for this world…we were made for heaven.
And the closest glimpse we have of heaven — besides the Mass — is love.
Which is what I’m really going to try to practice more of, here.
(And for those who are interested, I am publishing the original post on Patreon.)
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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