It dawned on me yesterday that I’m going to have to push a baby out here in two months!
I’m not going to lie, that was definitely a sobering thought.
I mean, this pregnancy has been an absolute dream — if you saw my Second Trimester Recap Video last Friday, then you know that I have been having an absolute blast being pregnant.
However, it finally hit me yesterday that…all this bliss comes to an end when it comes time to actually PUSH THIS GIRL OUT.
And yes, of course, the most joyful moment will follow: when she actually comes into the world and my husband and I get to hold her. However for the hours of labor before that…let’s just say for a gal who is going to do an unmedicated birth…with a baby in the 96th percentile…I’m going to need a lot of prayers.
Here’s the thing: I know that there are lots of ways to have a baby. And one is not better than the other. As I have been told by all my friends and fellow mothers, “There is no trophy given for unmedicated births.” And truly — the act itself of getting that baby out, either naturally or C-section — all ways are victories and worthy of a trophy.
But if you know anything about me and my history: I do not want to put anything in my body that doesn’t has to be there: AKA: an epidural.
I mean, I’ve been told to take a baby aspirin since I had covid early on in pregnancy, and it took me until 3 days ago to actually work up the courage to do it.
I just don’t like medication. Perhaps it was having to be on literally over 100 pills a days when I was trying to get out of my ulcerative colitis flare back in 2012 — none of which worked. Or perhaps being on the highest dose of the steroid, Prednisone, for weeks on end when I was in my first ulcerative colitis flare in high school: but I just hate drugs. And I will do whatever I can to avoid them.
I mean, hello: I’ve successfully managed my ulcerative colitis through DIET and kept it in remission for the last 15 years!
ANYWAY: that is why I do not want to have an epidural. I don’t want to put that heavy pain killer in my system…and therefore, my baby’s system.
And to be honest, I’m really not afraid of the pain. (OK, sure…I say that now…) But with all of the pain I endured during the ulcerative colitis flare that lasted 11 months and had me on bedrest — physical pain is no stranger in my life.
And so frankly, when it comes to childbirth: I welcome it. Because through it, I will welcome my daughter.
We had our baby shower over the weekend, and it was the most beautiful evening ever. Second only to our wedding.
But at it, I was chatting with a dear friend/mentor/wedding Godmother who herself has delivered nine beautiful children, all without an epidural.
And we had a really moving conversation about, how she did it. I mean, talk about a bionic woman!
She surrendered it all to God.
But she explained to me how I can offer up to God the pain and suffering I will endure during labor. And by uniting my suffering to Christ’s suffering on the Cross, thereby experiencing a splinter of what He did, it is a really powerful form of worship.
She shared that for each of her nine children, she had a different major prayer intention for each one of her births.
And when she shared that with me, it was so profound and striking, and it left me even more in awe of this woman’s strength and heart.
And it really inspired me.
Every one of us will go thorough suffering at some point in our lives – be it physical, spiritual or emotional. And there is power when we accept it, unite it with Christ’s suffering on the Cross, and offer it for the redemption or forgiveness of others.
This conversation was such a blessing to me, because it has given me such a profound perspective shift, and has really inspired me to spend these next two months to reflect on and decide the prayer intention I want to offer my labor for.
Have you heard of redemptive suffering? Is this something you’d like to join me in doing, as it pertains to your life?
BeautyBeyondBones 
Big hugs, guys! 🙏🏻😊❤️
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Hey!!
I just had my 4th baby 2 weeks ago. All of my babies were born naturally with the same midwife.
I had one prayer for all my pregnancies
For a fast, easy, and pain free labor:)
All of my births were very fast 4 hours each.
You can manage the pain by breathing( not screaming) deep moans to get baby down more, lower back massage during a contraction.
And of course praying, listening to chants.
You can do it!
The recovery is so much easier after natural birth as well!
And with my last birth that’s actually exactly what my thoughts were it’s only a moment of pain and a lifetime of joy! Plus I imagined how Jesus suffered. Can you imagine how Mary suffered? Watching her son, killed and hanging on a cross 😢
Anyways God bless you, your family and your birth! That’s what our bodies were created to do!
-Veronika (shakanranch.com)
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Dear Carolyn (sp?)
I’m so excited for your baby to be born.
I’ve been following you a long time.
I know God will give you the grace to do the job a mother must do no matter how it turns out. Your determination to suffer redemptively flies in the face of many women who simply complain and loudly. Thank you for your courage.
I’ve been given the privilege of suffering in a different way.
My daughter was pregnant about the same time as you but sadly, she lost our precious Raylan last month at 22 weeks. We held him for an hour before he sailed off to God.
It is bittersweet to read your posts knowing my daughter is still grieving deeply. But it is so encouraging to see that all is well with you and your little one is healthy.
That, really is what matters most. A healthy live birth. That is what I’m praying for.
God is the giver of life.
Don’t get caught up in the details. If you get thrown a curve in the birthing room, roll with it.
Much love from a fellow former ED gal. Welcome to the mommy club.
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Oh Amy, I am so sorry for your daughter and your family’s loss. Gosh, my heart is breaking for her, and I am covering her and you all in prayer, asking for Jesus’ comfort during this incredibly difficult time. Gosh. You all gave sweet Raylan the best hour, being held and loved so deeply. What a beautiful reunion that will be in Heaven one day. thank you for sharing that. sending so much love and hugs to you all. xoxo
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Things can change at any minute – that coming from a guy. But my wife wanted a totally drug-free second birth with me as her breathing coach. The nurse checked her and said “2cm.” She said, “you’ll be here a while.” Then, as the nurse disappeared past the door of the labor room, my wife grabbed my collar, pulled me in close, and growled, “Get me some drugs!” The nurse rushed in and said, “Oh, dear. I have never seen this before. You went from 2cm to 8cm faster than I could snap my fingers. Sir, you need to get into your whites now.” I think they gave her an epidural when she reached the delivery room. As you said, medals are not handed out for a drug free delivery.
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I honestly can’t stand that phrase, “there’s no trophy…” I could go into all the reasons that’s insulting, and I could break down how the art of birthing has been taken from women and vilified in popular media. There is no judgement here for women do choose epidural, but at the end of the day, you should feel proud of yourself for the thing you will have accomplished: bringing a person into this world through your own body! It’s truly a miracle. As someone who did not get to experience even laboring and had to have an urgent C-section, I will be praying for you to have a beautiful birth with no complications. Thank you for sharing so much of your story to us here!
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Hey Caralyn! Am praying for you to have a normal delivery…and good docs if you wind up needing a C-section (been there). My hubby and I have been studying 1 Timothy together, discussing the difficulties of living out the passages about women in Chapter 2. I think verse 15 is applicable to your comments on the redemption involved in suffering…we women want to be “in control” all the time, but there’s nothing you can do to stop this miraculous transition for your little daughter from womb to daylight! Your body will respond naturally (according to God’s preordained chemistry) to making birth happen. We are in God’s hands…and I pray that you can rest in His loving arms during the pain. May you have a day of sweet rejoicing with your baby girl tucked in your arms, no matter how tuckered out you may be!
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I love the act of offering up pain and suffering in this way. I really wanted a natural birth, but it did not happen for me. I pray it will for you and it will be a beautiful experience of uniting both the pain and the joy you will experience with Jesus Christ. Shalom!
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I have had 9 un-medicated births. Eight were at home, one I ended up having to go to the hospital and be put on pitocin. The BIGGEST take away for me….is surrendering my body and the pain I am going through to God. I don’t like to be in pain, I am a big wimp, lol. Honestly, you will probably be second guessing your choice, that is normal. Keep your focus on God and on the reason you are doing this. It literally is a “moment” of pain for a lifetime of joy. Women have been birthing for centuries, our bodies are made for this. That being said, things do go wrong and that is why hospitals and doctors are there. There is NO shame in having to change your plan. You will do this. I know your focus is in the right place. That being said, there is no way to describe the feeling of childbirth and there is no real way of KNOWING until you have been through it. I researched, watched videos, etc etc. My first birth still caught me way off guard, lol. The important things are keep your focus on God, surrender your body to Him and let it do what He made it to do, moan low and deep, not high pitched, also a suggestion, look into J breathing, that really helped me out a LOT, and try to keep your legs relaxed. Our bodies naturally tense up to pain, keeping as relaxed as possible helps your body to push your baby out. You got this, Mama. There are so many people praying for you and your precious baby. God Bless!
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I agree with many of the comments already made. I had two natural births and no epidurals. My daughter-in-law wanted that as well, but had to have an emergency C-section after 20 hours of labor because the baby was too big for her to deliver naturally and was “stuck”. A good experience went bad quickly. I applaud your intentions 100%, but the bottom line is you want a healthy experience for the baby AND you. All with our grandson ended up well, but thankfully, being at the hospital with competent doctors and yes, some medications was even more important than what was in the original plan. Sometimes things don’t always go as planned.
God Bless you and Steven – may you have a healthy, rewarding experience of God’s Plan for your family. AND may your sweet baby girl have a wonderful “birth” day.
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You and your little one are covered in prayer.
My four beautiful children arrived on their own terms. I’ve had two unmedicated, one crash c-section and the last was a fully induced vbac.
I wouldn’t call it pain in the traditional sense of a certain physical sensation — your body is doing something you are not in control of. It’s scary. Once I relaxed and let my body do what it was designed for and knew how to do with or without my input, I was able to doze, then deep breathe/moan as contractions intensified. I sent whatever energy I could muster inward and visualized this energy helping each contraction clear the way for my babies.
When it comes time to push you will be back in some sort of control and happy to actively participate. This is where it becomes labor — you are pushing, the baby is also pushing. Whoever is in attendance will guide you.
Please note that imho, the delivery room is no place for Dad-to-be. If he insists, keep him up at the head of the bed where he can only see your face or behind you in the pool if it’s a water birth.
Meds dull both Mom and baby, making it difficult for either to push effectively. Fruitless exertion often leads to mechanical intervention. The only women I’ve ever heard complain that childbirth was the worst pain they ever felt & whatnot were fully medicated. Which makes no sense to me.
God Bless every mother in this world. Our role in His plan is an honor.
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What a sweet blog post. Praying for you and your little one.
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Dear Caralyn, I have had friends who have delivered by natural childbirth and simply held to Jesus’ promise that He has released us from “the curse;” specifically that a woman would give birth in pain and they experienced no pain!
However, some began that way and mid-cramps begged for an epidural. Just depends on your faith and on what Jesus will choose for you; no guilt if you need some medical help, but hope that your baby’s delivery will be delivered free from “the curse.”
In any case, you, Steven and your child are in my daily prayers. ❤️&🙏, c.a.
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I highly recommend the Christian hypnobirthing app/course! The tracks are wonderful and faith-based, I listened to them during parts of my labour. Wishing you all the best!
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I am reminded of a beautiful woman who blogged years ago — Sara Frankl. She had an autoimmune disease that severely changed her life. The last three years of her life, she was restricted to her condo, but she gave glory to God through her blog and inspired so many other people to “choose joy” in spite of the hard things they might be struggling with. She redeemed the pain she struggled with on a daily basis by pointing others to Christ. I miss her, but find joy in knowing she is with the Lord!
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You need your Dad or one of your brothers to be strong for you right now.
Personally if my daughter is ever forced to move at 39 weeks pregnant, I will It is unnecessary and unacceptable. It is a tactic to get one’s own way while you are vulnerable in my opinion. she is moving. IN WITH ME!
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