Love Never Fails

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’m gonna just come right out with it: it’s been a rough couple of days.

So I apologize for my absence this past Thursday.

What was I doing?

I was breaking someone’s heart.

Please don’t read that in a “My-Milkshake-Brings-All-the-Boys-to-the-Yard” kind of a way.


But rather, in a “I-just-had-to-hurt-someone-that-I-care-about-deeply-and-am-feeling-tremendously-guilty-and-full-of-sorrow-because-of-it” kind of a way.

As you know, this year, I have decided to be open to love.

And in an effort to do just that, I revisited a relationship with the boy I wrote this post about. I wanted to explore the chemistry. Put my toe in the water. See if there was anything there.


And there was. At least, for him. But for me, I just wasn’t feeling it. He’s an amazing guy, but when it comes to romantic feelings, I just couldn’t see him as more than a brother.

And it’s a shame. Because I truly do find his character, his heart, his faith very attractive. But I just couldn’t shake the “brotherly” feeling I had with him.

But more than that, I knew deep down that I still had more work to do, loving myself, before I could receive his love. For, the ultimate act of self-love is allowing another person to love me.

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So I had to tell him before his feelings got more advanced than they already were.

And let me tell you: hurting people sucks.

But afterwards, I was feeling really down. Aside from the guilt from causing someone I care about pain, I was also angry at myself. I found the Voice of ED snaking his way back into my head with things like, Of course you couldn’t love him — you’re incapable of that. You’ve just thrown away your last chance at love. You’re destined to be alone. You’re unlovable.

I found myself beating myself up.

And when you’re in that head space, it’s really hard to come up with inspiring words for a blog about hope and self-love.


So what did I do? I turned to the bible.

Isn’t it funny how sometimes, we are given exactly what we need to hear, when exactly, we need to hear it


I randomly flipped open to this.

1st Corinthians.

Love is patient, love is kind…

Now I’m going to stop you right there. Because if you’re like me, if I were to go on, you’d just glaze over it because we’ve heard that verse SO. MANY. TIMES. at weddings.

But I think that, since we associate it so heavily with marriage, that we can miss a very powerful passage.

Try reading this, thinking not about love for another person, but love for yourself.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It is not jealous, it is not pompous,
It is not inflated, it is not rude,
It does not seek its own interests,
It is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury,
It does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.

Whaaaaat?!! Crazy right?! You’re like picking up the pieces from your blown mind off the floor right now, aren’t you?

So am I.


I mean, I could talk for probably 3000 words on each and every phrase in that passage, but I’m going to stick to my top 3.

Love is patient.

 

Right off the bat. God is reminding me that self-love is patient. So I’m not truly ready to be in love yet. That’s okay. I need to be patient with myself. The anorexia I endured left some very large and very real wounds that take time to heal. I should celebrate the fact that I gave love a shot. Tested the waters. I was open to it.

But the truth is, I’m still blossoming into the woman God made me to be. And I’m blooming at my own pace. I need to remember that and be patient in love with myself. The day will come when I am truly ready for love. But that day is not today. And that’s okay.

Love bears all things/does not brood over injury

These I think go hand in hand, so I’m going to count them as one.

My past is not pretty. Anorexia is a wounding attack against the self. A deliberate injury to the self. But love bears all things. Even that. God’s love for me. My family’s love for me. And yes, my love for me. It needs to not brood on that past harm, but move forward from it. And flourish, even with that period of darkness plaguing my history. Love bears all things.

  

Lastly, love rejoices with the truth.

Truth. In today’s world, it’s hard to know what that is. Really. It has been so skewed and adapted and stretched and eroded at, that we can hardly recognize it when we see it. But there is one that I know to be true: I am loved, and I am worthy of love. Period. Okay, so maybe that’s two…big whoop.

But that’s it. That’s the truth. I am loved by God to a degree that is incomprehensible. And I am worthy of love.

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The first truth, I whole heartedly know, believe, and claim.

The second…I’m still working on.

I thought I was a lot farther along on that journey, but seeing how things with that boy turned out, it appears I still have work to do

I am worthy of love, because God deemed me worthy to die on a Cross for.

[Self] love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [Self] love never fails.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

285 thoughts on “Love Never Fails”

  1. This is such an authentically beautiful post. Although you
    are experiencing the pain of having to hurt someone, you gave the best gift of love rather than living someone which wasn’t true. Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable in your entries.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You don’t need affirmation, however, I believe you did the right thing. As painful as it is, sometimes we have to hurt others before the pain we may eventually cause becomes irreparable . And it’s true, we have to learn to love ourselves before we can all others to love us.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I can totally relate to matters of the heart and feelings of insecurity and unworthiness that our ED can try to capitalize on, but I appreciate how you can bring things back into perspective with God’s truth, and his love for us. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. An amazing truth for many of us to accept, believe and claim for ourselves. Important, significant and necessary post. Thank you for your vulnerability and being open to receive love. Working on that myself. However, the road to freedom from self but to self as well is enlightening and a blessing to behold when you share your journey. Keep writing and sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on msktb and commented:
    Beautiful and timely. Prayers are answered every day. Instead of blogging, creating, and moving about today… I was as still as I could be. And in doing so, many things were revealed. I’m sharing this blog as evidence that I am walking with the Lord and He is showing me His power through His glorious works, His wonderfully talented children, and His dominion.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Being compassionate with one’s self is so important but not always easy. Giving ourself the kindness that we show others is often difficult. I wish you continued success in your journey. Lori

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This is so beautifully written and I really can relate to some of the feelings you share. I love that part of the bible you shared. I may be Jewish but I still believe and I know that you were meant to read that at that very moment. Everything happens for a reason. I’m an ED survivor on top of my traumatic brain injury so I really can relate to much that you share. I thank you for being so open and raw. You are beautiful inside and out. Always remember that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh thank you so much Julie☺️ it’s Yoga_ditty!!! Yay! ❤️❤️❤️ your kind words have absolutely warmed my heart tonight. Thank you☺️ yes, God is good! Thanks for sharing part of your journey. You’ve overcome a lot. Truly inspiring. Thanks for stopping by and for your friendship! Hugs! Xoxo

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    2. I’m not religious as all but I agree Julie – there are times when it seems like fate intervenes so long as a person is aware and connect with what message the universe is telling us

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  10. I worry I’ll never be able to love another person. I just am too scared to try and have the luck of a busy schedule to hide behind. I don’t know how to be loved. This post gives me some encouragement to try that whole self-love thing harder. I feel like I do appreciate myself and have moments of loving it, but I think I need to work on unconditional self-love.
    Thanks for these words ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Ellie! Thanks for this. Oh girl, I’m giving you such a big hug through the computer right now. You definitely will be able to love another person. You were made for love. Both showing another love, and receiving it in return. Because you have a beautiful heart and a lot of love to give. And are worth it. 100%. I’m definitely working on the self-love thing too. Unconditional self love. we’re worth it! Love ya babe.

      Liked by 4 people

    3. I never ever thought I could love and be loved. Somehow I found my soul mate and I listened to the lessons he has to teach me -I deided to be conscious and aware of these message and try, I am finally, very slowly coming into my own and loving myself and accepting myself. Don’t lose hope.

      Liked by 3 people

  12. Your blog posts always hits me right in the heart, you do have to learn to love yourself, I struggle so badly with myself still especially this past week, since I split with my partner in October I have been concentrating on developing my relationship with the Lord. I managed to write so many posts this week but I feel the coming week is going to be more difficult for me so not looking forward to that

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      1. thankyou my beautiful friend, sorry for reply late, literally was the early hours of the morning when I commented, being “across the pond” and all that. Never feel guilty about whats best for you to improve yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. I know I do quite alot and without Gods help that guilt would eat at me so much and wear me down, thankfully I do have my God in my life and things are so much better, especially when he lifts my burdens from me. He even gave me wisdom today and I haven’t even prayed or worshipped personally today, I mean, I know it might have been from praying the past few days/weeks but he is so amazing, he never fails us ❤

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      2. Hi Benjamin! Oh you are so right: God is always there to life is up and enlighten our minds with His truth. What a comfort that is. Thanks for the encouragement, my friend. So glad God is working in your life! Hugs and love xx

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      3. I wish we could talk more often, you can always bring a smile to my face, you are an amazing human being, and feel like I have know your for years, even though I dont know your name, hope you had a good day, I know I had a very mixed sadly, had to cut short writing and lost the focus of it and the energy to write it so I have put it to one side, hopefully to pick it up tomorrow 😦

        Much love and blessing
        your good friend
        Benjamin

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      4. Thank you Benjamin:) I truly value our friendship❤️ isn’t it amazing how God can bring two people together through something like the Internet? he is good! Hugs friend 💚

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    2. I find free writing help me so much. Sorry about what you are going through. maybe in time you will get some kind of answer as to why you are gong through this heart aching time . Best wishes.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I was thinking of this passage the last few days too. I have lost nearly every friend I have ever made with the exception of my husband. Over the past month, I have played how they all started and ended in my mind and like you, I have berated myself. Most of those friends, if not all of them, were based on the assumption that I was a sheep and they needed to shepherd me. Whenever you have a friendship where one person thinks they are better than you, it’s bound to end up in disaster. So I went through this passage reminding myself that real love is patient even with people like me, it’s not rude or proud or unkind. Love believes the best. Love doesn’t give up when it’s too hard. In all these so called friendships, they gave up. Even after I tried to work it out. Over. Done. And this passage comforted me because it reminded me that even though I failed too, those people didn’t love. I own my part of it but I won’t own their sin.

    I know this isn’t what the post was about but wanted to share how that passage encouraged me in dealing with relationships and my own insecurities.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Buck, thank you for sharing this. I’m so glad this post resonated with you in the way you needed to hear. You’re right: love does believe the best and it doesn’t give up. Know that you are worthy of love and friendships. Sending you so much love. Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You do the same. The pain of hurting someone will pass, in time. I know, because I’ve lived it, and am living it. Blessings…

        Liked by 1 person

  15. I’ve picked up the pieces of my blown mind, and just wow, thank you! I struggle so much with loving myself (though I put on a good show of self-confidence…). It truly does blow my mind that this scripture isn’t applied more to one’s self before applying it to others. And because I don’t love myself this way, I struggle to love others this way, I struggle to let anyone love me this way, and worst of all I struggle to love God AND struggle to let God love me this way.

    I once broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years because my feelings had waned and it was the right thing to do, however I continuously struggle with the dysfunctional thoughts of “No one will ever love you if you don’t stay with him” or “Of course he doesn’t want you, you’re fat and annoying”. I’m so glad you wrote this post to share your struggles though. It is scary and freeing to be so vulnerable ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this heart felt reflection. Loving yourself is definitely a journey. But how comforting to know that we are loved first by our Father. That is a strong truth we can rest in. Sending you so much love. God is preparing someone for you right now. Because you ARE love able. And worth it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I think this is such a common feeling. I think the first step which is the hardest is to accept what you have- your body, your mind and try not cover up your natural self.It is scary showing our naked selves to the world and people will let us down. I think as long as we stay true to our authentic self and not give up on accepting ourselves then love will come naturally. That’s just my opinion

      Liked by 2 people

      1. What a beautiful response, Daisy. Yes, not giving up on ourselves and having patience in blooming into our true authentic self is so important. In healing. In loving. In growing. In living. Thanks for this perspective xx

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  16. The only love we should seek is that which is already given to us in greater abundance than we are capable of comprehending.When we are full of God’s love, it is natural to want to share it with someone, but we don’t need to look for it. It will find us.

    Why, there’s probably even hope for an old man like me whose past will require a very special Christian woman to see beyond it to the new heart that God has given me. And in the event that I discover a relationship is not in God’s plan for me before I die, it’s OK. While I admit it would be wonderful to have someone to love with this new heart and to look at each day with these new eyes, the truth is that, while I have been married twice and had more than my fair share of girlfriends, i have NEVER been loved like this.

    God’s love is perfect love, and you have it, my friend. You are special and He will provide you with someone equally special. In His time.

    Your courage in using your pain, your fears, and your vulnerability to help others is always a source of great encouragement to me.

    Know that you are loved and your friendship is valued.

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    1. Wow thank you Tony, for this beautiful perspective. Your wisdom never ceases to blow me away. You’re right: Gods love is perfect love and I can find peace in claiming that. God is always working behind the scenes, and I believe he’s preparing the hearts of two people for both you and I 🙂 hugs Tony!

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  17. What a beautiful post. I admire you so much, for taking the chance to love, for being honest with yourself and with him (as much as it hurt) and for being kind and patient to yourself. Love yourself first and true love with your soul mate will come when the time is right, I have no doubt. Blessings to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Hurting people is never a good feeling, but to continue unauthentically when your heart is telling you something different is a worse injury, both to you and to the other person. It is the nature of the Holy Spirit to give peace of mind and heart, that is how we know that we are cooperating with God’s plan for us. You did a very brave thing… THREE very brave things, in fact. You made yourself vulnerable and put your heart on the line, you did the honest and most compassionate thing you could when it was clear it wouldn’t work out, and then you shared your vulnerability with a bunch of strangers on the internet! You have every reason to be confident in yourself and to embrace your worthiness and inner goodness. Every reason to love yourself as God loves you! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh thank you Lulu! Haha well when you put it that way, I guess there were three things! Although the last may lean more towards the crazy than brave! Haha 😋 but in all seriousness, thank you for these beautiful words of affirmation and love. I so so appreciate it. Hugs to you xox

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  19. Ana, this is a wonderful and insightful post. I think that perhaps one day, as the Lord leads, you will share your journey in a bigger way and truly help others deal with what you have dealt with. The Lord bless you! Jim

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  20. While I never struggled with my body image, I have suffered for the past 6 years, failing to love who I am as a person and feeling unworthy of love. And you completely hit the nail on the head. THIS. This is what I am working on as well and you put it so beautifully. I am SO happy there are other women who are starting a revolution and working on loving themselves.

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  22. I like your thought processes! I am going to think further on the whole Corinthians passage being applied to ourselves thing because I’ve really only looked at it in context of marriage, family, and God’s love. Interesting!

    But I can say that what you’re feeling (aka being open to love, etc) has also been on my mind recently. In response, God has told me to 1) wait, for all good things (His dreams for us) come with time, and 2) grow as I wait so that I may be ready for these dreams. Maybe this helps you?

    Also, I love this video: https://www.facebook.com/ucn.young/videos/434784486672073/

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  23. Another beautiful, insightful and inspiring as usual 🙂 Do not feel awful because whenever anybody seeks out a love relationship, only oneself can come to an overall conclusion as to whether or not that person will be right for oneself in the long term. As you implied in this post, you may not have an eating disorder anymore, but you also need to feel better emotionally as well. Anybody who had a past disorder of any kind would feel the same way you do based on my experiences with other individuals. I find it interesting that you read some of the bible between your last blog post and this one and you know what, whenever things feel a little shaky, it does come off as insightful and informative. This is not to imply that it wasn’t (it always was), but I seem to feel that way whenever I need some hope in my life. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂 and just keep smiling 🙂

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  28. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.

    And please don’t break someone’s heart frequently because it worse than getting hit by a meteor {just kidding!}.

    GOD bless you.

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    1. Haha oh yikes that sounds like an intense feeling! But in all seriousness, that’s right. It was so difficult and disheartening to have to disappoint someone I care so deeply about. But i had to for both our sakes. I look forward to finding a soul mate and experiencing all those things. Thanks for stopping by xx

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  29. I have had to work so hard on accepting myself. I have got to a stage where I am mostly comfortable with myself. Yes, I have an eating disorder but I also have a the drive to live and Anorexia only thrives in death and decay. The day I started to respect myself and and let go was the day I allowed to accept myself and allow myself to be loved. I am not saying that it is a permanent feeling. Some days I am not so positive but as long as there are more I love me and I love to be loved moments I think I am on the right path and onto a good. Thing. I am not religious at all but I do believe in energy. I had a similar siltation with two men who wanted me to love them. I was so far into my illness I had to tell them I can’t do this: the whole relationship thing. Nobody with a heart wants to hurt someone but to be honest to yourself and to others is a one step closer to acceptance and self love

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    1. Hi Daisy❤️ I love your heart. You have such beautiful insight, it is absolutely lovely. You’re right: being honest with yourself and others is part of the journey to self acceptance and love, and ultimately, freedom. Sending you so much love on your journey. You ARE on the right path and everyday getting closer to that freedom. Cheering you on, my friend. 😘❤️ thanks for stopping by xx

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  30. What you were doing is showing respect, not giving false hope. I really agree with your thought and action. Hurting people sometimes is the thing that we don’t want to do. However, we can’t expect something when we are living in this world. All that matters is we showing love and grace to everybody. Nice post!

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  31. I strongly believe that no one can truly hurt another because really we all are one. We learn something from each and every single moment if we look at it… You tried to open yourself to love, and you got an answer – that page in the bible, and you’re moving forward taking that with you. I’m sure the boy learnt something as well. Sometimes we take a long time to realize that we are learning or learnt something from a thing that we thought was so “unfair” or “bad” and sometimes we never realise it. But it’s there. We only need to look to see what that lesson is… I feel like our whole lives are about love and self improvement…if we have so much love in ourselves, how can we give but anything else to another person? 🙂

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  32. I have a feeling you are in my head, somewhere. You did the right thing. Trust me, you’d never have felt at peace if you kept it going just kill and prove to the voice that tells you, you can’t have better. You can and You will. Remember God’s promises to you. They should keep you going!

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  33. Ooh, yeah, being the heart-breaker is tough, especially when it’s a “misconnection” reason rather than a “bad!bad!” reason.
    I know your pain – had to do the same under slightly different circumstances almost exactly a year ago. :/
    It will hurt for a while and it may feel confusing because of your guilt, but in the end it will level out to an acceptance.
    I’m just glad you were able to put on the brakes before things got serious. (In my case, despite my best ‘take it as things go’ and ‘I’m not as into you as you are into me’ hints, I still liked the guy enough that it took me until we were pretty serious to realise that things weren’t going to end up well for both of us eventually…and by that time, well. There were consequences. 😦 )
    I found solace in my diary writing and the Bible … It is very true that we ought to love ourselves first and know ourselves first before trying to give ourselves away….

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    1. So very true. Thank you for this insight, friend. Yeah, As much as I wanted to “see how things progressed” the fact is, he was showing signs of being much farther along in his feelings. I had to be straight with him before he really got hurt. Thanks for this wonderful perspective. Have a beautiful day! Hugs!

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  35. In Buddhism, we have something known as the practice of ‘metta.’ Metta is defined as, among other things, “a sincere wish for the welfare and genuine happiness of all beings.” The first step in practicing metta is always to meditate, at some length, on self-love, the premise being that more often than not, it is a lack of self-confidence and/or self-love that motivates one person’s unkindness towards another, and that it is not possible to love anyone without first loving oneself. So, just as it isn’t possible to be miserable without being self-centered, it isn’t possible to give anyone else “a break” until we’ve learned to do the same for ourselves. Self-love is about finding compassion for ourselves, and then extending that same compassion to others. It’s about recognizing our commonality and our connection.

    A lack of self-love would have motivated some women to accept that young man’s love despite not being able to return it in the way that he desired to receive it because they’re more in love with ‘love’ than ‘loving.’ You have shown that you understand that difference. Self-love is one of the most under-rated and overlooked concepts around. You’ve recognized, and practiced, an essential truth — and expressed it so very beautifully! Thank you!

    Namaste.

    Vivien

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    1. Hi Vivien, thank you for this beautiful perspective. There are a lot of wonderful things here: I absolutely love that “self love is about finding compassion for ourselves and then extending that same compassion to others.” Wow. Wow wow wow. So true! Thanks for your encouragement this morning. Much appreciated 🙂 hugs and love to you!

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  36. You seem to be struggling with giving love, not just receiving it. Those scripture verses will help you let someone love you. The first stages of true love don’t always begin with a feeling, but with a decision to love. The feelings come on later. besides the feeling of being in love passes quickly in any relationship. It grows into a stronger more fulfilling love as we cultivate it with all the things in I Corinthians 13. Ma6 God bless you as you learn how to love.

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  37. Seriously, though, I love your blog! And yes – from a girl who is very close to ended the communication with the first guy I’ve dated in over a year – it is so consoling to hear that what I think/feel in this regard is shared by others. Thank you for sharing!

    I hold on to the fact that God loves me so much – even if I’m making a big mistake by ending things or it is just me freaking out because I have to let go of control… God loves me so much that he isn’t going to look at me and say, “Sorry, N, you’re screwed – that was your one chance at love.” He has this. He knows my weaknesses and fears. And I trust Him.

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    1. What a beautiful response! First thank you, N:) that means the world ☺️ and you’re right: God isn’t going to abandon you or leave you out try dry. Because he loves you. Deeply. And as you say: “He’s got this” ☺️☺️☺️thanks for reading, friend! Xox

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  38. Being the cause of someone else’s pain is never a good feeling, ultimately you did the right thing. I went through something very similar way back when and I still feel guilty about it every now and then. Sometimes we WANT to love others and keep them around in our lives because they’d fit perfectly in it, but that’s not always how things are meant to play out. His job in your life is done…Everything you learned from this experience and from him are is now going to play a super important role in the rest of your life! So shake the “guilty” feeling and soak in the experience…move forward with your happiness and thank God for putting him in your life😘 Cheer up doll, this too shall pass😊

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    1. Oh thank you so much Ahidee. Wow, what a beautiful perspective. You’re so right: I did learn so much from this guy. And I learned that are still “good guys” out there! I just need to soak in the experience, like you said, and grow from it. God is good and His plan and timing is perfect. Thanks for stopping by☺️☺️☺️😘

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  44. Oh dear, we’ve all been there. I burst into tears after breaking up with one of my high school sweethearts because I felt so bad for hurting him. On top of that, I didn’t even have the guts to let him down face to face, I broke up with him over the phone! I was just a kid, so I didn’t know any better, but I still feel ashamed when I think about it.

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    1. Thank you so much for this insight. Ending relationships is always hard. I think in the long run though, this was best for both he and I. And I need to rest in that peace. Thanks for stopping by and for your words of kindness. Hugs and love to you friend!

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  45. Another great message! Thank you. We need to see ourselves as God sees us…when we reach that point, we will see others thru God’s “eyes” which presents an entirely different view than we have ever seen. You are doing awesome in your journey…just keep moving forward one step at a time.

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  47. When I meet someone who hasn’t learned partner dancing, I always started with: “Dancing is like flirting: it’s about seeing how close you can get, and then making sure that it’s safe to get away.” So many of us go through life looking to find that one person that we will fall into forever, but a long-term relationship isn’t like that. It has phases, a dance that sometimes brings deeper intimacy, but also distancing as we explore of our independent strengths that upon the return bring resilience to the relationship.

    So I am reading that your friend got in too deep, just as you got in too deep at one point in your life. He needs to reestablish his individual identity. While what you did might have been painful to him, that pain should be a lesson that helps him to become stronger. So there is nothing wrong with what you did – as I see it, you are giving him the benefit of all the trauma that you went through yourself!

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    1. Hi Brian, wow what a beautiful metaphor! Thank you so much for sharing that. It makes so much sense. Yes, although this episode was painful, it was ultimately a learning opportunity for both he and I. Thanks for sharing his great perspective. Hugs!

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  48. “But more than that, I knew deep down that I still had more work to do, loving myself, before I could receive his love. For, the ultimate act of self-love is allowing another person to love me.”

    Yes…this post was beautifully written and well stated. The best thing you could do for that man, was let him go before it was too late.

    I am married with three children. My husband and I have been together for twelve years but we both got saved later in life. Well after a lot of heart damage had been done. It’s been a rough couple of days for me too. I don’t think I know how to love myself nor do I think I am patient with myself at my process. When I am hurting emotionally, I am like a wounded animal..biting every hand trying to come near. It hurts to receive love! I am always looking for the string! I am always waiting for “it” to be USED against me. When I show my vulnerability, my brokenness, I later maul myself to shreds because “how dare I be so weak.” Isn’t His power perfected in weakness?? I want desperately to simply “be loved”……that I sabotage every act of love made in my direction. I also hurt from old wounds. This middle aged soldier has got some battle scars. From my current marriage and past boyfriends. Hurting people hurt people and I think my husband and I deserve the medal of honor in that department.

    Today, I have the aftershock of puffy eyelids, sleep deprived brain function and nothing but thoughts of shame and guilt at not being able to be “The Healthy One with all the perfect answers, who KNOWS her worth in Christ and NEVER needs her husband to SHOW his love because Her SECURITY RESTS SOLEY IN JESUS”…or something like that…

    I loved your post…beautiful and impeccable timing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad this reinstated with you in the way you needed to hear it today. You’re right, loving ourselves is so important when we love another person. It is the foundation upon which love for another is built. You have a lot of wisdom. Sending you a big hug through the computer. I think having patience for our “blooming process” is one of the most difficult things in life. I admire your courage and heart. Hugs friend xox

      Liked by 1 person

  50. When you find the courage to be brave and share difficult truths with love and consideration for the other person, it will both strengthen and set you free. Beautiful post.

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