Lessons from a 93 Year Old

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I had one of those experiences last night that’s going to stick with me for a long time.

Sunday night. 7:30pm. And I was going to a church I had never been to.

I moseyed in the back and found a seat in the second-to-last row, just off the aisle.

Mass started. We were about 15 minutes in, and the priest was giving the homily.

And this old man hobbled in. He was at least 90, hunched over his cane, shuffling along. And he plopped down right next to me.

Now, how can I put this delicately…his entrance was not…shall we say…discrete.

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As an elderly gentleman, his hearing was obviously going, because what he thought were whispers, actually were yells.

Is someone sitting here!? What day is it!? September 4? What’s the page number?

Now, if you’ve never been to Catholic mass, disruptions are…rare and…unwelcome.

People were looking back with pursed lips and furrowed brows, trying to see who this rude disruptor was.

Meanwhile, I was just trying to sink into my seat and keep this man quiet. I got the Missalette open to the correct page for him and quickly whispered the answers to his questions. I even nodded along when he would add a loud interjection about what the priest was talking about.

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I hate to admit it, but my initial response was so superficial and selfish. I was hoping people wouldn’t think he was with me. I was just praying to myself, Oh God, please just make him keep his mouth shut!

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But during mass, I felt my heart soften towards this man. Here he was, he had to be 90+. Alone, on a holiday weekend. Granted he didn’t smell the freshest, but he had a plaid collared shirt on, pressed kakis, and neatly combed hair.

I could only imagine what he thought of me, showing up to mass in my short shorts and sleeveless top.

But it was at the “sign of peace” (where you shake hands with those around you) that I really got a good look in his eyes. No one was shaking his hand, as he was seated and hunched over, and I kinda bent down and positioned my face to be in line with his face, and those eyes pierced my heart. They were so kind and warm, definitely not deserving of the harsh thoughts I was previously thinking.

Cue the Catholic guilt…

But after mass, as I was gathering up my things, getting ready to leave, he said to me, “Thank you for helping me.”

And I looked at him, smiled and said…”You’re welcome, sir. Have a great night.”

And as I turned to go, I felt his eyes following me. He was still sitting down, and I looked over my shoulder, and I saw that he had twisted his body to watch me walk away. And he had this expression on his face that seemed like…he had something to say. Like he was wanting to chat.

So I went back over, and sat down next to him. “What’s your name, sir?”

And this man lit up. He shook my hand and introduced himself…with his full name.

When I told him mine he says, “Oh, that’s a movie star name.”

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But he told me about how he loves to come to mass, and that he had heard about Mother Theresa’s canonization on the news. He was 93 years old and had a “long walk” from his apartment to get to church….why he was late. It was clear that this man was hungry for some human interaction…someone to talk to.

And as I was walking home, I just couldn’t stop thinking about that man. I could feel my heart just swelling. Melting. Breaking almost. That was someone’s dad. That could be my dad one day in the far future. 

And I found myself just so convicted that I had judged that man so harshly when he walked in. He was doing his best to get to church, and God bless him for making that walk by himself at 93 years old.

And my whole day turned around, just having that little interaction. I was filled with so much gratitude for my own dad, and my heart was so warm and touched after conversing with that man, who had such a kind and gentle spirit.

It just goes to show that truly, if you give a little, you get a lot.

All I did was have a little 2 or 3 minute conversation, and what I got in return was a new perspective. I got love. I got a feeling of gratitude. I was so blessed by this man.

Anywho, I just wanted to share that story. Not to toot my own horn, and proclaim how pious and charitable I am…Please, that is the last thing I am.

That interaction is going to stick with me for a long time.


Because no matter how old we get, deep down, we all need love. And love is reciprocal. You give a little. Get a lot.

 

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

333 thoughts on “Lessons from a 93 Year Old”

  2. What a wonderful wonderful story. I´ve had experiences like those, too. They are really mind opening. I am so happy for you and proud of you for making him and yourself happy. It is really the little things that count and go a long way. A “hello”, a smile, a few words. Like you said: love. Everybody needs it.
    I am very sure you´re Dad will be one of the lucky ones with a loving family at his side in church.
    All the best and a happy weekend! XO

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We are all often quick to judge. Even if its silently in our own head without voicing those thoughts. And we must be those people who appear in the posts of others, as ‘some people just looked at my child having a meltdown’ or ‘they looked at me with a sideways look of horror that really hurt’. But its what we do when we -or in this case you lovely blogger – realise there is a person within each exterior waiting for company support or simply a smile that truly matters.
    Thank you…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I remember my mum telling me when I was young to smile at everyone as someone may need it more than you think! Apparently smiling is contagious! I was having a rest from running on a park bench one day and a homeless guy sat down, I smiled at him and he said ‘no-one had smiled at him or spoken to him for almost a year!’

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This was a touching and incredibly loving story. Society is very quick to dismiss the elderly (and I am no saint) but we have so much to learn from them. God built us to be in relationship withthe one another. It isa great that you both got something out of the conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Bless you for your kind regards of the elderly. The one thing about getting old is that your mind does not recognize your body is aging.I can actually see myself in that gentleman.When you looked into his eyes did you see his youth? Just wondering.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. What a sweet and honest post. I really appreciate your candidness about your initial reaction to the interruption, but I even more deeply admire your ability to allow your heart to be moved beyond that first response. I admittedly struggle quite a lot with judgment, negative thinking, and the emotions that could probably be lumped into anger and fear (bitterness, resentment, hard-heartedness, anxiety, thinking everything must be exactly a certain way)… all the stuff that originally contributed to my ED. Your blog is a great source of an opposite message. Thank you for once more providing that through how you live, how you love, and what you share here. Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I hope you were serious about reading what I wrote. Here it is:

        At the end of the day, four women reached their journey’s end and stood at the mouth of the cave. Each one peering in, hoping to get a glimpse of the path. Instead, it seemed as if the darkness absorbed all light. Because of the growing night, they decided to camp until daybreak.
        The first woman, holding her face toward the dawning day, said, “I will go first. After all, my years of studying and charitable works has prepared me for this day. I have lived a righteous life and am not like the three of you.”
        Her three companions shielded their eyes as she held her life’s work before them, a lamp with finely cut jewels and ornate filigree. Without waiting for the others to respond, she raised her lamp as if it were a great beacon and moved toward the opening. Upon entering the cave, the darkness swallowed her light except for a tiny beam. Bent over, she stumbled along, straining to see the dimly lit path.
        Outside, the three other women watched the first woman disappear into the cave, each with their own thoughts.
        The second woman reasoned I am certainly a good person. Even though my light is not as dazzling as hers, it will be sufficient for I am not a sinner like these two. Saying nothing to the two remaining travelers, she clutched her lamp close to her chest. Taking each step as if the ground moved beneath her feet, she tiptoed into the cave like she was entering a bear’s den. Immediately, her torch was snuffed out as if by a gale wind. Trembling, she ventured further into the dark beckoned by the light of a candle.
        Glancing at her neighbor, the third woman said, “I need no lamp. I am a light unto myself. I never did anything wrong. My life’s motto, ‘Everything is permissible as long as it’s not hurting anyone.’” With that said, she jogged off toward the gaping hole. As soon as she approached the opening, she screeched as the darkness swirled out of the entrance and swept her into the cave. Just as quickly, the storm was stilled.
        Having watched the three pilgrims enter the darkness, the fourth woman stood alone. She knelt down and said, “Lord, there is no goodness in me that is not of You. My life has been a series of mistakes. I have been sexually impure. I have taken Your name in vain. I have been jealous of what others owned, and I have sat in judgment of others. I am a sinner. I am standing on the promise that all who call on the name of The Lord shall be saved. Let Your light continue to shine in me.”
        Standing to her feet, she walked into the cave. Upon meeting her, the darkness fled. A startling, bright light emanated from her, reflecting precious gems which studded the walls. Looking around, she saw a path clearly marked before her.

        Liked by 2 people

      1. You too! I have the morning with Julie, so that’s ALWAYS good! Working today on the next installment on my DNA series. Trying to distil incredibly complex science down to something that lay people – me included! – will understand and appreciate. *whew!*

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  17. I was just thinkimg about this! How often do we ignore the odd stranger who is bothering us when it might just be Jesus giving us a person to help. Every time we love the forgotten and broken we are serving Jesus!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I see in this post the real “Beauty Beyond Bones.”

    Earlier in my life, I have been a pathetic and not-right person. Receiving simple love like this helped me stay alive long enough to recover.

    Ironically enough, my central shortcoming is that fearful, egotistical attitude that comes out as judging, self-righteousness, and personal meanness. In order to keep my precious spiritual growth, I have had to do the right thing a few times in situations like this. While seeking any kind of reward for it negates the act, the rewards of being loving because it’s the right thing to do have been great. Enjoy them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this. That’s so powerful. I’m glad you recovered. Isn’t it so awesome to know that every morning is a new day:) love is a powerful thing. Thanks for reading Hugs and love xox

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  20. Loved your graphic, “Love the crap out of everything and everyone.” I’m pretty sure that’s from the Bible (paraphrased, of course!) Definitely God inspired. Thanks for sharing a great story. Keep the love on, even when it’s uncomfortable (and makes you feel guilty). You’ll always do well in life. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  22. My favorite thing about going to mass at my home church is this spunky eighty something year old lady, Mrs. Mary. I used to think she was kind of mean, and then one day, I mustered up the nerve and struck up a conversation with her. She is absolutely phenomenal! She prays the rosary out loud before EVERY mass, even daily mass. She’s pretty hip as well. In fact, she told me yesterday that she actually texts her kids and grandkids! Anyway, I look forward to mass now because, when I get there early, I get to hear Mrs. Mary’s voice. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Working in nursing homes as a nurse aid, many, many loved ones get dropped in and never visited. I worked 2nd and 3rd shift doubles. I brought in heavy duty cream for dry skin, fingernail polish, and olive oil for the African American hair. I learned how to braid hair. We’re they blessed? Maybe. I met a 105 yr old woman who worked for the CIA and a French prostitute from the times of the Nazi regime. Stories filled with heart break and wisdom. So glad you brightened his day. I have an older black woman who goes for walks and carries a chair leg to beat off stray dogs😂😂 we have awesome chats about her upbringing in Louisianna. It’s fun!!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. What a lovely story……usually us as Christians will speak of being kind to others, but when we really get a chance to do so, if they don’t fit into our mold, most of us will shy away from them. In your post you mentioned that no one shook his hand, how awful that must have felt to him. Your act of kindness did not go unnotice by Jesus……Matthew 25:35……..” I was a stranger and you took me in.” In doing this act of kindness to this man, you also did it to Jesus.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. You are such a sweetie for taking the time to talk with the older man. I work with seniors, and sometimes I am the only person they will see all day. Often their family are too busy, and they don’t want to impose themselves on anyone. Some just want a smile, an acknowledgement. This made me smile!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I truly takes so little effort to get so much in return when it comes to loving one another. But what you have touched on goes so much deeper into the sad reality that touches all of us as we get up there in years. You really do begin to feel like you are disappearing in many ways and I think it only gets worse the older we get. You were where you were supposed to be right at that time and listened to your inner voice. And now look how many people you touched and gave insight to for deciding to simple touch someone else with the expression of Gods love that is within you. As my Dad would say, “bless your heart.🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  36. This is one of those articles that you read that will always be impressed in your mind. Powerful story. Thank you for sharing your experience! J. Michael

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Amen, here in marion ohio we have alot of homeless and elderly who wander into our church services, it is easy to judge from appearances, but when you truly get to know them you see that they too were made in the image of God. That image stands regardless of outer wear, age, gender, or race. it is an image engraved in the heart. That interaction you had I’m sure made that man’s day and maybe even his week…

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Hi there, I just wanted to thank you for finding and supporting my blog, but mostly to say that I think your courage is awesome, and you clearly have a big heart. I can’t say that I’m religious at all but I think the fact that such qualities are noticeably less common among non-believers is a very important one. Oh and I enjoyed this post a lot — well done! Cheers -Andrew

    Liked by 1 person

  41. This is such a lovely story. I’m impressed. Good delivery of it. Really love this story. Your heart, despite what you say to the contrary, is one God can work with. Have a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Mara 🙂 what a kind thing to say. All I know is that I was truly blessed by the interaction with that man, and I’m grateful for it 🙂 I definitely think that our paths crossed on purpose 🙂 so glad you stopped by! Hope you’re having an absolutely beautiful weekend xoxoxo

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  43. At one church I attended a van load of special needs folks came every Sunday. My strongest lesson from them was the way they sang lustily and joyfully… too loudly, off time and off key. But they put their hearts into it while the rest of us mumbled into our hymnals trying to be precise and correct. They were the ones who knew they were welcomed by God and worshiped in response.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. I love those encounters (:

    And I’ve had one or two myself–I’m not perfectly first-impressed I’ll just say that–but those moments when God just smashes all your self-taught wisdom and shows you Jesus–or yourself–in a stranger’s eyes…that’s humbling–no, knee-breaking.

    Thanks as always for sharing, Caralyn (: Happy Saturday!

    P.S.: Loved the jackfruit-eating – you’re such a character 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Carson! Hahah oh good! Glad you liked the jackfruit! I actually just bought another one today! I had been getting so many recommendations on other ways to cook/eat it so I’m going to give it a go! And thanks for your kind reflections. You’re right-knee breaking indeed. Have. Agreat weekend! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  49. Love this! You are so right–people need that interaction and fellowship. What a wonderful feeling it is when you know you are noticed…. And especially when someone takes time to have a conversation. Without it, we die inside. I’m sure you were a huge blessing to this older gentleman.

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  50. Beautiful. I think… what we are scared of, when we help an older person, a homeless person, a poor person… is… we’re not scared of “them,” we’re scared that some day that could be us. We’re scared that some day we could be old, homeless, or broke, and we don’t want to face that possibility. But if you stop, help, say hi, spare some time or change, or kindness or a laugh — then we break through that fear because guess what is greater than fear, or difference, or hardship or difficulty or pain or misunderstanding? Connection. Hope. Faith. Interaction. I’ve seen too much of it to doubt it any more. It’s amazing what you’ll see, find, discover, encounter when you stop to share time with someone else.

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