Taken Care Of

Another weekend, another realization…

Let’s be real…my love life…is no secret on here. For better or for worse, I have been…probably too irresponsibly candid in what I’ve shared. But you know what…I regret nothing 🙂 haha

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Anywho…I realized something the other day.

I was filming one of my “Journaling Through Recovery” videos (they’re available on Patreon) and the quote of the day was this: “Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.”

That quote was handwritten on the top of the journal page by my best friend, who gave me that journal as I went off to inpatient when I was beginning recovery at age 18. She wrote a quote on top of each and every page. What a friend.

But that quote really hit me.

Friends are God’s way of taking care of us. 


There are a couple different levels to that: First, just friends being amazing, loving, and supportive people that are there for us. I think that’s pretty surface level.

But here’s the kicker that really stopped me in my tracks.

Friends are given to us by God. They’re gifts. Friends are put into our lives by God. They are an extension of His love for you and me. God loves us through the love of our friends.

These past several weeks, er…months…I have been so totally fixated on my singleness. I’ve been completely focused on my love life and how I’m (impatiently) waiting for God to bring a man into my life. And all that time, I have been overlooking and forgetting about the incredible blessings that are already in my life: my friends. 

I’ve been seeing my life as “half empty,” without a boyfriend, party-of-one, on my way to being a cat lady, when the reality is, it’s actually incredibly full — overflowing you might say.

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I have been given so many beautiful friendships. At home, in NYC, in my family…and that quote today reminded me that God is responsible for those friendships. He isn’t abandoning me, or withholding something from me by not “giving me” a boyfriend.

Heck no.

He’s taking care of me…through my friends. He’s giving me exactly what I need, right now, in this very moment.

I have a pretty unique situation in NYC. I have been best friends with two girls since we were tikes. One I met at 3 years old, one at seven. We were literally neighbors. And we did everything together. Went through life together. The good times, the tough times, the times when we nearly peed our pants from laughing so hard. Everything. They are my girls, and I would do anything for them…rob a bank? sure. Climb a mountain? I’ll bring the carabiners. Anything. And wouldn’t you know…we are all living in NYC. Right now.

That, is God taking care of me.

That is a gift. That is Him loving me.

Another case in point: I have been blessed with two amazing sisters-in-law. (sister-in-laws?) *shrug* grammar… But these two women are more than just my brothers’ wives…they’re also my best friends. And I could count on them for anything.

And don’t get me started on my OG BFF, my mother

How easily I can just take for granted the beautiful relationships I have in my life simply because I’m fixated on being somebody’s “girlfriend.”

God is taking care of me. I just need to look around, and see what is there, instead of what isn’t.

The next time I want to complain about God’s timing not being fast enough in the “love department,” I need to stop and take an inventory of all the nurturing, and life-giving friendships I have in my life. God is taking care of me….how I need…in this moment.

I hope that I can one day be as great of a friend as these women have been to me.

OK, that’s all for tonight. I’m going to fall asleep with gratitude instead of impatience. Because that’s the reality.

And I decided to release this week’s 4-minute “Journaling Through Recovery” video on the blog, just so you could get some context on the post. For more videos like it, they’re available on Patreon!

And just as quick update….I have a date on Thursday…and I didn’t meet him on Bumble.

*Mic Drop*

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256 thoughts on “Taken Care Of

  1. Caralyn:

    The pastor at church was sharing with the congregation that while we cannot change God, we can cause him pain. The is so different from offering our pain up to Him so that we can be healed. That is received with joy and celebration, because it allows Him to serve his most cherished purpose. And when it is done in faith as an act of service for others that suffer with us: well, as it was said of the first servant in the parable of the minahs, that is indeed something to honor.

    Thank-you for what you have done, what you do, and what you will do.

    With love,

    Brian

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    • Hi Brian! Wow what a powerful message. You’re right-offering up our pain, though incredibly difficult in the moment, is really what we should strive to do:) thanks for sharing that! Have a great day! Hugs and love xox

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  2. Believing is seeing. Imagine that the Infinite Spirit of God has already someone in store for you, believe and trust in it. Just be on the outlook for it. You can compare this with the looking for a parking place. Don’t say “I will never find a place to park, I am totally lost, OMG” say instead with the power and authority of faith and trust: “God has already a place to park in store me in his Infinite Mind, I must only be awake, look carefully and be a little bit patient, because it takes time to deliver the gift.”

    It simply takes time to manifest this relationship of your dreams, but it is already real in His vision. Try to cooperate and flow with the Divine Vision for your life 🙂 May you be blessed,
    Mark

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I feel by you writing this post already makes you a true and valued friend! I’m slowly but surely realising the same thing in my life. Boyfriends come and go, but true friends will be there no matter what! Thanks for the post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi Caralyn!

    Great post! Funny thing about it too is that i’ve had pretty much this conversation with myself many times in the past. Not to get into too many boring details, i’ve gone into each one of my relationships with the ultimate goal of marriage (as i think we all should, right?), but none of my girlfriends felt the same, or even if they did, i feel that they got bored of me and we split apart. There were many times in my life that i felt helpless and hopeless, questioning all of my faults instead of focusing on my good qualities. Added to that, i get the added pressure from family members of mine because i’m turning 36 in December and i’m still not married and have no children and in the hispanic culture, that’s an anomaly. I know i heard it from my grandmother many times over that she was praying that a good woman would come into my life and treat me the way i should be treated and not like every other past girlfriend i’ve had, etc, etc. It was nice hearing it once, but over and over again got more tiring than hoping that it would happen. However, i say all of that to say that i too came to the realization that my life is pretty full with happiness with the non-romantic relationships that i have. I have my tight circle of friends that feel more like family than friends at this point, i have my sister, her husband, and their kids, and i have my dad and living grandparents too. I wish i was closer to my cousins, but we’ve all drifted apart, but my point is that even though i do have those moments of desire to be in a romantic relationship, i get what i need thanks to God. It’s His plan, after all.

    I hope you have a great time on your date, by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey David! I’m glad this resonated win you! Thanks for sharing this. You’re right- god gives us exactly what we need. And His timing, often doesn’t line up with our own, or that of our family’s expectations. But His timing is perfect, and I 100% believe that He’s going ton bring the right woman into your life at the right time:) have an awesome day! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You are here and now already whole and enough, Caralyn. With or without a boyfriend. Enjoy yourself. Celebrate. Dance. And the blessings will flow to you. “God is taking care of me. I just need to look around, and see what is there, instead of what isn’t.” ~ that’s the gentle and loving voice of the Spirit.
    Listen to Him and he will guide you. If the Ego is telling you “my life is half empty, without a boyfriend, I am not whole, my singleness is a problem”, “I am on my way to being a cat lady”, “don’t believe that.

    The voice of the Spirit sounds different. Full of well-being, peace, clarity, he sees always the blessings, grace and goodness, is always dancing in the Joy of the Lord.

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  6. God truly does work through His people to extend His love to us. Friendship is hard to find. It’s been said, “if you can count on one hand the number of “true” friends you have, you’re a blessed person!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Great post! Only when we take stock do we realize how blessed and beautiful our life presently is. We are blessed beyond what we see and know. You are even more blessed for the realization that you have been blessed with so many beautiful people – family and friends. Thank God we are complete in Christ Jesus!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Hi Caralyn,

    Good post, arguably better than the previous post because this time you focused more on the present and the things you love and have in life: friends. Which is a great theme.

    Also, it’s kinda funny or ironical how you say that you’re doing just fine without a boyfriend and then throw in that plot twist, right at the end.

    Anyways, just some observations… Hope everything goes well for you, hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Beautiful post! It’s wonderful that you can realize the importance of having true friends, they are special and need to be treasured and told how much they mean to you! God does add and remove people from our lives. So if someone walks away from your life that’s just God removing them as they have served their purpose and it’s time for them to move on. Good luck with your date and be patient God will bring you Mr. Right if you let Him! Wishing you continued success and great strength with your recovery! xo

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  10. We’re on the same page.

    ( I know I almost waited long enough to do a double-feature on your next post 😛 )

    Two good friends of mine (from totally different places) are or were recently basically homeless (I’ll know if they ever get back to my facebook messages how it’s all turning out) and I want to say it drives me crazy but that’s not really the expression I’m looking for… it sends me on worry overload because these are my friends and due to distance there really isn’t a whole lot I can do. Random spiel number one.

    Actually, just last night I was catching up with a friend. Eons ago there was this Christian social networking site called Battle Cry which I suppose was inspired by the youth conference of the same name put on by Acquire the Fire and Teen Mania, anyway. After Battle Cry came Shoutlife and a lot of people from Battle Cry migrated to Shoutlife, but as a result all across the continent (and maybe even the world) there are these remnant networks of young adults and I can go through facebook and look at names and go ‘yep, there’s another one,’ it was a real..comradery. But anyway, this friend in particular and I were connected with a couple other girls and for a year or so we formed very close friendships and we’d have group video chats and talk and share and pray together and you know, they were family I won’t easily forget.

    Sadly, though perhaps it’s just all part of a much more grand plan, that core broke down one at a time in some of the most unfortunate ways and now I don’t know that any of them speak to each other anymore, and I’m connected just enough to see how far the disconnection went. And as I was catching up with this friend I was thinking about old times and realizing just how long it’s been since I really…talked…to someone…deeply, about anything important. There isn’t anyone I talk to on a regular enough basis now to get to that point.

    I miss my dear friends.

    And then I read your post and I said ‘aha,’ because somewhere there’s a line in space and time and for a minute we were both on it going the same direction, being reminded of the value of our friendships.

    I know it’s been quit some time since I’ve ranted on here (*quiet mimsical chuckles*)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hey Carson! It sounds like you really care for your friends. I’ll keep them in my prayers. Battle cry! What a great name. I’m sorry that platform fizzled out. Losing touch is always rough. I’m sorry you miss them. You’re right-there is such a great value in friends.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. But (and good lord it’s way too easy to hit that send button on my phone screen) I guess I’m just agreeing in my own..melancholy…way…haha.

    Someone said once, ‘Look for the Jesus in people,’ and the more you get to know them, the more Jesus you may see. Isn’t He so wonderful.

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  12. I totally get what you mean about worrying of being single. I was in a relationship for three years that should have just been a friendship from the beginning. I think I convinced myself that I was in “love” and liked the ‘idea’ of having a boyfriend because in society, women need to be married and have children. I’m done with what society thinks.

    God blessed you with so many loving people in your life and that’s all you need right now. Your life is rich, and full of love that isn’t going to fade away. His timing is always right on time and the time will come when you find someone you truly care about.

    I’ve recently started doing bible studies at my church and I love having an outlet where I can make my faith stronger by reading the bible and having lots of prayer.

    Have fun on your date!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Candice! Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. You’re right, His timing is always right on time – I like how you phrased that. Brings a lot of comfort. That’s so great. I’m glad you’ve found that life giving outlet:) Hugs and love xox

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  13. I recall visiting with my grandfather and his 94 year old friend many years ago (my grandfather died in 1972). His friend told me, “Always be making friends. When you get to my age, your friends keep dying off”. Certainly, we desire to find a one-and-only, but that person may not live as long as we wish. My grandfather’s wife died in the 1950’s before my parents married. My father-in-law died 6 months before we married. My brother’s wife died 10 years ago…. Friends were there, fortunately.
    Oscar

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Oscar, that is some truly wise advice. I’m sorry that you’ve experienced those losses in your life. It’s amazing how people can come in and out of our lives and leave a lasting mark on our hearts. Thanks for stopping by. big hugs x

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  14. Thanks so much for popping by my blog and I can see we’ve been a bit on the same page in some ways. You thinking about your singleness and me grappling with my health which often removes me from community and real life interaction with people, compounded by the absolute pleasure I get chatting to my blogging friends where we immediately connect on some really deep philosophical points, by-passing the usual small talk which is inevitable in real life or that busy distractedness. We are in the same moment even if it’s hours and kilometres apart.
    I posted a follow-up to the post you read about the monks at the beach a few minutes ago and included an extensive quote by Australian champion surfer, Nick Carroll about being in the moment when you surf. I do that with my creative pursuits. He describes it very well.
    BTW, I have followed through with my daughter’s digestive issues and anxiety and took her to a dietician, which was fabulous because she opened up a swag of food options and she actually needs low fibre hi GI, which is the opposite to conventional wisdom. It’s still early days but at least I’m not dealing with it on my own anymore. She’s also getting some tips on relaxation etc so hopefully this will help her find her feet.
    xx Rowena

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi again friend, oh that is such great news about your daughter’s health! Praise God. Truly. I’ll continue to keep her in my prayers. You’re right – theres something really specially about blogging friendships! they are privy to the most inner thoughts and vulnerabilities! so glad our paths crossed 🙂 thanks again for stopping by! oxox

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  15. Loved reading this. It gave me some much needed perspective as well. Absolutely nothing beats Gods timing!

    Wish you the best for your date (today?? *exaggerated wink*) and whether or not that works out, know that God is the one that brings fulfilment into your life whether that’s through the family & friends he’s given you or the revelation and understanding that comes from a deeper relationship with him both before and after that amazing guy comes along xxx

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    • Hi Saratu! Oh good! I’m so glad it hit home with you:) haha thaaanks (exaggerated wink back) haha you’re right-God’s get everything under control. Yeah-tomorrow night! We had to push it back a day but yes-Friday it is! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words! Hugs and love xox

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  16. Pingback: Diary Entry #2 – Who I am

  17. God blesses you every day with the beauty of your inner soul, and your outer image. You are an amazing creation that is taken care of by others of beauty around you. But don’t sell yourself short in that. You do the same for those too. You provide amazing love and inspiration to everyone you touch. Keep shining and keep loving. You are loved!! I hope the date went well too!! xoxoxoxo

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  18. I like your post. I know your culture is different from ours when it comes to relationship. I am 55 years and have been a widow for 13 yrs. My friends and relatives always remind me about getting marry again. I would jokingly tell them it is a good thing, but the bible says he who find a wife, not she who finds a husband.
    if God has a partner for you, that partner will locate you as long as you look up to the Lord to order your steps. There are lots of good guys around but not all are the right ones, let him guide you in making the right choice.
    I hope you would make quote posters of these;
    Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.
    Friends are given to us by God.They’re gifts.
    Friends are put into our lives by God. They are an extension of His love for you and me.
    God loves us through the love of our friends.”
    By the way I am from Liberia, West Africa

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi there! oh wow, West Africa! That’s seriously so cool. Thanks for this beautiful reflection. you’re right – i need to pursue the Lord, and He will take care of everything else. THat’s great perspective. thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

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  19. You have done such an amazing job at recovery you have forgotten to remember to embrace each day and love every moment. “He” will enter your life when the time is right and take your breath away. Until then enjoy every breath you take.

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  20. This is an amazing blog post and the video is truly fantastic. I love it. With so many who have given you feedback, I don’t think there’s anything more I can say. Lol!
    I love my friends, even when everyone is so busy that we don’t get to catch up. I’ve learned to be friends with my husband. You’re indeed lucky to have friends and the day will come when you’ll meet a life partner and hopefully he’ll be a friend, too, because friends are the best. In fact, I think marriages are best when couples are best of friends. For some people, friends are family. 😊

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  21. You will find someone special to complete your life in God’s perfect timing.
    In the meanwhile I thought you might relate to the words of this beautiful Diana Krall song:

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