Another weekend, another realization…
Let’s be real…my love life…is no secret on here. For better or for worse, I have been…probably too irresponsibly candid in what I’ve shared. But you know what…I regret nothing 🙂 haha

Anywho…I realized something the other day.
I was filming one of my “Journaling Through Recovery” videos (they’re available on Patreon) and the quote of the day was this: “Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.”
That quote was handwritten on the top of the journal page by my best friend, who gave me that journal as I went off to inpatient when I was beginning recovery at age 18. She wrote a quote on top of each and every page. What a friend.
But that quote really hit me.
Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.
There are a couple different levels to that: First, just friends being amazing, loving, and supportive people that are there for us. I think that’s pretty surface level.
But here’s the kicker that really stopped me in my tracks.
Friends are given to us by God. They’re gifts. Friends are put into our lives by God. They are an extension of His love for you and me. God loves us through the love of our friends.
These past several weeks, er…months…I have been so totally fixated on my singleness. I’ve been completely focused on my love life and how I’m (impatiently) waiting for God to bring a man into my life. And all that time, I have been overlooking and forgetting about the incredible blessings that are already in my life: my friends.

I’ve been seeing my life as “half empty,” without a boyfriend, party-of-one, on my way to being a cat lady, when the reality is, it’s actually incredibly full — overflowing you might say.

I have been given so many beautiful friendships. At home, in NYC, in my family…and that quote today reminded me that God is responsible for those friendships. He isn’t abandoning me, or withholding something from me by not “giving me” a boyfriend.
Heck no.
He’s taking care of me…through my friends. He’s giving me exactly what I need, right now, in this very moment.

I have a pretty unique situation in NYC. I have been best friends with two girls since we were tikes. One I met at 3 years old, one at seven. We were literally neighbors. And we did everything together. Went through life together. The good times, the tough times, the times when we nearly peed our pants from laughing so hard. Everything. They are my girls, and I would do anything for them…rob a bank? sure. Climb a mountain? I’ll bring the carabiners. Anything. And wouldn’t you know…we are all living in NYC. Right now.
That, is God taking care of me.
That is a gift. That is Him loving me.
Another case in point: I have been blessed with two amazing sisters-in-law. (sister-in-laws?) *shrug* grammar… But these two women are more than just my brothers’ wives…they’re also my best friends. And I could count on them for anything.
And don’t get me started on my OG BFF, my mother…
How easily I can just take for granted the beautiful relationships I have in my life simply because I’m fixated on being somebody’s “girlfriend.”
God is taking care of me. I just need to look around, and see what is there, instead of what isn’t.

The next time I want to complain about God’s timing not being fast enough in the “love department,” I need to stop and take an inventory of all the nurturing, and life-giving friendships I have in my life. God is taking care of me….how I need…in this moment.
I hope that I can one day be as great of a friend as these women have been to me.
OK, that’s all for tonight. I’m going to fall asleep with gratitude instead of impatience. Because that’s the reality.

And I decided to release this week’s 4-minute “Journaling Through Recovery” video on the blog, just so you could get some context on the post. For more videos like it, they’re available on Patreon!
And just as quick update….I have a date on Thursday…and I didn’t meet him on Bumble.
*Mic Drop*
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Beautifully said! Thanks for reminding me as well.
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Thank you Kathy! 🙂 glad you enjoyed it. Big hugs xox
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Just remember the words of St. Philip “You can’t hurry love, you just have to wait. Love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.” 😊
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Hi Mike! Haha yes!! Such wise words:) but seriously..:) thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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Enjoyed it.
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What a friend to give you that journal and take the time to write supportive quotes.
I am diagnosed with severe recurring depression. Friends are so important! One friend and I are ” on call” 24/7 for one another if there is a need. Friends are truly a blessing as are you for sharing your journey. Thank you!
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Hi Rick! I know she seriously is an amazing friend. I am so lucky to have her in my life. You’re right-friends are so so important. That’s so awesome that you have that on call buddy. Thanks for sharing your story:) big hugs xox
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What a beautiful post! I know exactly how you feel. I know that I too can take it for granted all the beautiful friends God has given in my life. ❤
Ooh! And all the best for your date! 😀
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Thank you so much! Glad you liked it! I know friends really are blessings from Heaven:) Hugs and love xox
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Great post! You are complete in Him! Colossians 2:10 Thanks for writing!
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Thanks Beau James! Amen to that! Complete in Him! I love that verse. Glad you stopped by:) Hugs and love xox
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Great post.
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Thanks Gina:) appreciate it! Xoxo
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Amen! You have friends, AND a date. My goodness,you are blessed, indeed! 🙂
God is a God of abundance,His blessings flow infinitely, but the world tries to teach us scarcity. Gratitude is a great way to put our eyes back on that abundance that is truly plentiful.
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Haha thanks! I know- lots to be grateful for! And you’re right – it is important to live in gratitude. God is good! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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I love that friends quote! Thanks for sharing. What a great way to look at our friends… gifts from God. It’s a perfect reminder… I’m so thankful for mine 🙂
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Hi Jenny! Me too! That quote really hit home with me. Glad you liked it too! Have a great night! Hugs and love xox
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You too! xx
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Wonderful word! Yes, helpful to us all. Amen. 🙂
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Thank you so much Ted! I really appreciate it. God is good. Hugs and love xox
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BBB, the fact that your Thursday date won’t be a bumbler is a good thing. I remember bumbling through some number of first dates and never got a do-over. 😉 XOX Rich
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Hi Richard! Haha that’s funny! Yes good thing indeed. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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I needed this, thanks for the reminder.
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Aw thanks. I’m so glad it resonated with you! Big hugs xox
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Reblogged this on juantetcts and commented:
“Friends are God’s way of taking care of us.” I’ve never looked at friends in this way before. Makes perfect sense!
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Thank you for the reblog! Hugs and love xox
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Good luck on your date. You have a positive outlook and any guy would be lucky to have you choose him.
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What a kind thing to say:) thank you. Have a great night xox
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First…thank you. As a person looking and waiting (often impatiently, in a smaller pool than in NYC), for someone after being without for four years, I often look past the friends that have been placed around me, for me because like you, I obsess about the very thing that you wrote about (albeit at a bit older age, ha ha). Thank you so much for these words today.
Second, a date! Congratulations, friend! Good luck, and even if it doesn’t amount to anything…it becomes something to take with you. Maybe even a new friend. A chance to see if someone has what you are looking for. I know He will help you find that person, in His timing.
Thanks again, Caralyn. Your candor while probably a bit uncomfortable for you, has been very helpful I am sure to many. Have a great evening 🙂
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Hey T! Thanks for this. You’re right- just putting myself out there opens up the door to a friendship:) I appreciate your consistent encouragement. You’re a blessing to me! Hugs and love xox
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Likewise, Caralyn! Have a great night.
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Hey you are so blessed! What an amazing and awesome post.
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Thank you! I know, indefinitely have a lot to be thankful for. Thank you God! Hugs and love xox
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Love this: “God is taking care of me. I just need to look around and see what is there, instead of what isn’t “.
This is the only perspective which brings true joy and peace. Great reminder!
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Thanks Jenny! Yes! God has given us an abundance of blessings! I’ve got to take the time to realize and appreciate them:) big hugs xox
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Great post! I always enjoy reminders of how wonderful friends are. Mine have done every kind of good thing for me. Some of that I’ll never be able to pay back, but there’s no bill for it. If you have more than two real, “up close and personal” friends, you are wealthy.
The mic drop was smooth. I’m not surprised that the date didn’t come through Bumble, though. When I looked it up, it seemed more my kind of site than yours.
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Thanks friend! You’re right- there’s no bill for it. Friends are just pure blessings and what a beautiful thing they are. Haha yeah-this was an in person encounter! 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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A friend recommended your blog to me and I’m so happy he did! I can relate to this so much, I struggled with an eating disorder and still have times where I struggle. And now I’m super focused on getting a boyfriend. Like this blog could not come at a better time!! For real lets be bffs 🙂 good luck with everything and on your date!
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Hi Caitlin! Welcome! Oh my gosh I’m so glad you decided to drop by 🙂 yes, can we please?! 🙂 but seriously, I’m sorry that we both have that in our pasts that connect us, but hey, we’re on this journey together, cheering each other on! 🙌❤️ thanks again for stopping by! Big hugs xox
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Beautiful post! How could God not bless you with what you desire? With all the praise and glory you give Him for what He’s already done in your life! My suggestion is that you don’t concentrate so much on if he’s the right one, and trust in Him. You will know, because your souls will connect. That’s what happens to me. I’m so excited for you!
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Thank you so much Connie! That is such great advice:) I’m taking that to the bank! Haha thanks for stopping by and for your kind words! Hugs and love xox
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Right back at you!💗
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I read your blog and watched your video and thought, awesome, inspiring, and then you say good-bye. I was just about to leave the page, when suddenly, there you are again, only this time pulling faces, lolol … Oh, you crack me up, you are such an amazing person, beautiful soul, and then came the faces, lol, too funny. You truly are adoreable. Have an amazing date my sweet friend 🙂 God Bless xxx
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Thank you so much for watching! Haha I LOVE bloopers!! Haha seriously though:) that’s very kind of you to say. Hope you’re having a beautiful evening! Hugs and love xox
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I love this! I totally can relate to feeling stuck in singleness, but trying to focus on the Lord. It’s a tough season. I hope the Lord brings you someone super awesome :), but don’t let that be your focus. ❤️ Try to enjoy the chance to give the Lord and your friends and family some love (like you were talking about), and that way–when you look back–you won’t regret this season as one you used to pine away for a boyfriend. Easier said than done, but I think you can do it :). Have a great week and date ;).
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Thank you so much Carlye! You’re right-for whatever reason, when you bust out the cozy sweaters and Pumpkin spice lattes, all of a sudden you want to be in love haha jk jk thanks for your encouragement! Hugs and love xox
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Lol so true 🙈🙈🙈🙈 for sure! Have a great day!
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You are both so sweet 😊😀
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There’s so much to be grateful for…never lose sight of that, regardless 😍
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You’re right: SO so much to be grateful for. Hugs and love xox
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Friendships are important. One verse taught me the importance of that
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. 10 For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! 11 Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
We’re meant to be relational people. God created us to be that way. You focusing on your love life is not a bad thing. It only becomes a bad thing when you put it before God. But you’re also right that we must not forget the people that God brings into our lives who He doesn’t mean for that spot in your life. Remember what God said about Adam in the garden–He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.” It was the only thing that He called not good in all of creation, but God remedied that by bringing someone into his life for that purpose.
So, in essence, God has taken care of you, Caralyn, and don’t let your singleness define you, Caralyn, let Christ define you.
Hope you enjoyed my recent post too!
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Thank you so much for this Tom. That is such a powerful verse. You’re so spot on- we’re relational beings. And being defined by Christ—yes yes yes! Thanks for stopping by! Yes! Terrific as always 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Back at ya 🙂 Dark Knight trilogy is not the most uplifting, but it has lessons to be learned about going through with life. It’s why it’s one my favorite movies.
Glad I could be of encouragement for you again. Enjoy the rest of your night! Now, back to Batman!
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I’ve actually never seen dark knight! Adding it to my queue! Haha enjoy! Xx
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I found the title to be an entire message in itself coming from you. The rest was very rich and comforting gravy! Thanks for pointing out this obvious but easily missed fact! THAT is the beauty of your entire blog. We are all learning with…no, slightly behind you.
You’re taking point for your 16,000+ platoon on this lifelong patrol. You’re hitting the land mines and tripping over the vines for us. You face plant, but we can still hear your muffled “Watch out for that one!” You roll over, give us a smile, then get back up and do it again!
We ALL do the same things, but you have the courage to put yours out there FIRST, to let the rest of us know that we aren’t alone, to show us anyone can be lifted back up, if we just understand that God is Who really does the lifting.
Thanks for loving us all so much! Thanks for being so brave!
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Hey Jeff! Thank you so much! (First of all, I want to apologize for the delay in my patreon post-my iTunes is having some issues uploading the podcast!) but I had a great laugh at this. I am ALL FOR a solid face plant:) haha but seriously, thank you. God is definitely the one who does the lifting, and Praise Him for that! Although, I will say- you are a close second…you always have just the right word of encouragement and kindness for me:) you’re a great friend. Sending big big Hugs xox
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I had wondered what the glitch was on Patreon, but it was just concern – no reason to apologize to me! I hope you got the email for the restaurant Julie and I found; a small return for turning us on to Serendipity, which was such a hoot! I’ll look at Patreon in a bit. I’m a Dancing with the Stars junkie! I want to give it my undivided attention!
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Haha yeah I hope to have it fixed within the hour. I’m afraid I’m going to have to update iTunes which could take a while…ugh. Yes! Will get to my email here in a few! So fun that you and Julie found a great restaurant! Enjoy DWTS! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE DARK KNIGHT?!?!? My dear, we need to set a curriculum of movies you MUST see before you are required to turn in your Actor Card!!! Jaws, Princess Bride, and the entire Batman trilogy to start. I require one report/review per week…minimum! 🙂
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Hahaha I know. I am a disgrace to the acting profession! Haha ok ok ok … I’ll start with princess Bride:)
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Brilliant! This touched my heart. Thank you.
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Thanks Diane! Aw I’m so glad it hit home with you:) I appreciate you stopping by! Enjoy your evening! Xox
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Ah, such a good truth to remember. 🙂 Thanks for being candid. I enjoy the updates. 😉
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Thanks Yolanda. Glad it resonated with you:) haha thanks for saying that! I sometimes get super weary about sharing so much. So the encouragement is greatly appreciated 🙂 have a great night! Xox
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I understand. To constantly be the giver is humanly impossible. As much as I enjoy your posts, don’t be afraid to skip one if you just need to take-in from God. Blessings and sweet dreams.
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❤️❤️❤️thank you for that. You are seriously speaking to my soul tonight xoxox
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I liked this video!
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Aw thanks Hope! I appreciate you taking the time to watch it:) hope the bloopers gave ya a chuckle 🙂 have a great night! Hugs and love xox
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Well said – indeed friends are God’s gift to us. And you have lots of friends in people like us who love your posts. Stay positive – I have realized through my experiences that good things happen to good people 🙂
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Thank you so much! You’re right-friends are like earthly hugs from God:) and I definitely am grateful for the wonderful friendships in this little community! ❤️ thanks for stopping by! Big hugs xox
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There’s so much I love about this post I honestly don’t even know where to start.
Your friend who wrote those quotes in your journal sounds like an extraordinary person. You are so blessed to have had her in your life, especially in that period of your life.
I love the fact that your favorite Bible quotes are about war and fighting and battles. You look like such a girly girl (absolutely no offense intended).
My favorite Bible quote is from First Epistle Of Saint Paul To The Corinthians Chapter 2: “That eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man, what things God hath prepared for them that love him.” To me, that quote means that Heaven is beyond anything we could imagine it to be like. That’s just a mind-blowing, utterly amazing thought. And to think that God is willing to share it with us…There are no words. 🙂
May God bless you always.
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Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. Oh my gosh. She is THE MOST extraordinary person. I look up to her so much. She is my hero. And the other cool thing is that she is one of the “two” besties I mentioned later in the post that now lives in NYC! She is truly a lifelong friend. 20+ years. It’s amazing. Haha yeah-my fav bible verse is definitely a bit unexpected. But then, I’ve been an actor since I was five…so perhaps I was drawn to the drama of it all! Haha goodness gracious 🙂 oh my gosh I love that quote. So comforting and hopeful. Mind blowing-you’re right. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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You’re welcome!
On a side note, my favorite non-Bible quote is “Dance with joy.” It means do more than just acknowledge the joy in your life. Embrace it and dance with joy with joy in your heart (if that makes sense).
Hugs and love back at ya!
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I love that. Xx
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Thank you! 😀
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Lovely post. Thanks for reminding me what a blessing my friends are!
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Thank you Jenn! Glad it hit home with you! You’re right-they really are huge blessings. Have a beautiful night! Xox
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Thank you for sharing your faith and your journey. One of my daughters dealt with an eating disorder when she was younger and I think you sharing your story gives others hope. Don’t stop! Oh, and don’t worry about dating! When you’ve been married 20 years w 3 kids you will miss being able to go to the bathroom alone or watch anything you want in tv!
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Hey Steph! Thanks for this reflection. I’m glad your daughter is doing better now! And wow what a beautiful marriage and family you have. 20 years-what an inspiration! Thanks again xox
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You may want to check out my latest post….. I got a phone call from Jesus😉
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Oh my gosh! YASSS! Love when the Big JC makes a sneaky appearance! 😎
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Caralyn, here are some great articles from Focus on the Family about real people who got married later in life (30’s and 40’s).
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/love-and-sex/the-challenges-of-dating-later-in-life/story-marrying-later-in-life
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Hey David! Thanks for passing those along:) that means a lot! Fotf always produces great material! Hugs and love xox
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Love this! I am in a long distance, military relationship. As such, the tendency is to move fast to get to the finish line as soon as possible. I have to remind myself that everything will happen in its own time. That when it is meant to happen, it will. I just have to *try* to sit back and make the most of this time, that will, ultimately, bring us closer together ❤
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Hi Bekah! That is such a great mindset to have – yes: everything in its own time. Thank you for that powerful reminder. Hang in there- it sounds like you two have a beautiful relationship. Hugs and love xox
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Great post 🙂 I especially love that quote you found somewhere about friends being God’s gift to us 🙂 Having friends does give us solace 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂
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Thanks John! Yeah my friend actually shared that quote with me! I love it! Thanks for stopping by! Big hugs xox
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You are always a wonderful inspiration. 💕
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Oh my gosh, Alexis! Thank you so much!! ❤️ you just made me smile:) big hugs xox
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Well, now THAT makes me smile! ❤️
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Haha 😁😁😁
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Poignant, sometimes recovery can feel like a lonely place. Thank you for this loving reminder of the support we have. ❤️
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Thank you so much. You’re right-such great support. Lots to be grateful for. Hugs and love xox
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Friends are indeed special people who come in out of our lives. Thanks to the God above for giving us such a blessing
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Hi Pat! So true — they are such terrific blessings. They are the arms of God, giving us a physical hug here on earth 🙂 That quote, it really struck my heart…in a good way! haha thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox
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Especially hugs 😛
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I think that is such a beautiful and fitting description for true friends :). Thanks for sharing and good luck on your date… Although, you don’t need it. You’ll be great 🙂
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Hey friend! You’re right-true friends are such a gift. Thanks for that:) hah I’ll definitely need it! Haha 😂❤️ have a great night! Xox
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Awww thanks! Keep me in your prayers, I just started classes and am a little lost and behind since I just got off the waiting list and purchased my books late.
I bet you hear this pretty often, but the right person will find you when you least expect it so keep on being joyful and living your life ;). You deserve the very BEST! Xoxoxo.
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Absolutely! 🙏🙏🙏 that’s rough-I’m glad you got off the waiting list though! 🙌🙌🙌 aw, thanks again for that:) good luck with the studying!! Xoxo
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Thanks so much ❤ I really appreciate it!
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Inspiring… “Lean not on your own understanding…” If we try to understand/figure everything out, we’ll be overwhelmed… if we trust in something greater, we can move forward…
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Hi Rick! Thank you for this. You’re right — overwhelmed is an understatement too! haha that’s definitely the best way to move forward. big hugs to you xox
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I think we listen to the same music, well partly maybe. Thy will be done by Hillary Scott been giving me a lot of peace lately. 🙂 Take care, dearest.
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Hi Mar, oh I’ll definitely have to look that one up! Thanks for passing it along! Big hugs xox
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Love this! You are such a sparkling light!
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Thank you so much Jamie:) that really means a lot!! Have a great night xox
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Love this post and it’s so true! It may take a while but if it’s in God’s own timing, it’s totally worth it! 😀 ❤
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Thank you so much! Amen to that- His timing is worth the wait! Big hugs xox
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As always, your writing presentation is beautiful, to-the-point, and “smile-provoking.” For me, the most poignant part reflects friends/friendships coming from God. You know, I agree! God who orchestrates all things DEFINITELY knows who we need in our lives (and even who we don’t need) and when/how we need each one. Thank you for delivering this message to us (me).
Enjoy your date. Continue allowing God to orchestrate your relationships. You make me smile, and I am proud of you.
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Hi Fredrick, oh thank you so much:) that’s so kind of you to say! I’m glad it made you smile! You’re right-God is the best “orchestra conductor” there is! Have a great day! Hugs and love xox
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S W E E T !!! Who knows Thursday’s date could be the one???? I have always believed that God sends the right people at the right time. Friends come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. If it’s for a season it might be that you have something to teach that friend and once that has been accomplished, that friend is ready to move on. If it’s for a reason it might be that you have something to learn, it feels like that person is a real Godsend and they are, someone that you needed just at the right time, once that has been fulfilled that friendship ends for no reason. Not because it’s something you’ve done, but because their mission is accomplished. If it’s for a lifetime they’re there through thick and thin, the good times and the bad and the heartaches, then you’ll know it’s there till the end and that they are true friends. God bless ❤
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Hahah thanks:) I’m going into it just looking for a friendship and will be pleasantly surprised if anything else comes of it! Haha you’re right-God definitely gives us exactly what we need, when we need it. Thanks for this beautiful reflection. You’re a blessing to me! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for reminding us of the true value of friends – that they are a gift from God, and therefore so precious..
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You’re so welcome! Thank YOU for stopping by and taking the time to read! And amen to that-friends are SO precious:) Hugs and love xox
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WOW Every time I need that extra bit of encouragement, there you are! Literally you are so amazing with words even in your darkest of battles! and when you Mentioned Proverbs 3:5-6 my heart stopped! (metaphorically, of course lol) it’s verses that are dear to my heart, and haven’t read in a while (check on your comments on Facebook and see what I mean) sending you lots of love Caralyn 🙂 ❤
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Hey Benjamin! Awww what a kind thing to say:) glad this gave you a little nudge of encouragement. I’ll definitely drop by the page and check it out-i have to be honest that I don’t check it as often as I should! But I will:) yes-reading god’s word is always powerful. Hugs and love xox
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[…] I read this post on Beauty Beyond Bones that is so, well […]
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Thank you for the link up! Big hugs xox
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God indeed gives us friends to love
But for me they are always taken away
You found God through your friends
I found God whilst I was all alone
Love loves you, we are never abandoned
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I appreciate you sharing this perspective. We are definitely never abandoned. God will always find a way to our hearts, no matter what it takes to get there:) know that I am your friend and I’m not going anywhere 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Have you read Proverbs 31:10-31? I found this helped me to look at what qualities I needed to cultivate in order to become the woman that my now husband was attracted to. I was in a similar boat and have now found an amazing husband. Check out this link to a great book on some marital wisdom https://www.jw.org/en/publications/books/?contentLanguageFilter=en&pubFilter=yp1&sortBy=1
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Thank you so much for passing that along. I will definitely check it out. That’s so awesome about you and your husband’s love story. Definitely gives me hope:) big hugs xox
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Wonderful life-giving and liberating words, Caralyn. True friendship is like a light from the angelic realm, your direct commection to the Divine Source, with the power to illuminate even the deepest abyss of our Soul.
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*Connection 😝
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Thank you so much. You’re so right-friends are gifts from Above! Hugs and love xox
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It happens to the best of us . Every time I start feeling down about not having a man I just start to think about the things that I’m grateful for , definitely always helps. You will be blessed with an awesome man one day girlll 😘😊
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Hi Cristal! That’s so wise-you’re right, that little shift in perspective makes a world of difference! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox
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