Not gonna lie, I’m feeling a bit, well, dejected at the moment. Deeply.
Nothing superficial – no boy drama or insecurities about how I look. No, this is character-level.
In the past 24 hours, I feel as though I’ve been the butt end of two very bad jokes.
Allow me to set the stage:
It doesn’t matter how long you live in NYC, there is always something new and interesting to do. Another pocket of culture to discover. Another hidden gem just waiting to be explored.
And last night, I found myself in one of those places.
I went to a comedy club.
I know. These are not new. News Flash: They’re all over the country.
But I’ve actually never been to live stand up comedy before. And, to be completely honest, I was bracing myself for some seriously raunchy material, and I was actually pleasantly surprised. All things considered, it was actually pretty tame. In fact, I would take my mother.
But there was a “bit” that really, well…it hit me….in the gut.
One of the comedians that evening (there were a bunch…it was amateur night…) was this absolutely gorgeous man. Oh my gosh, tall, blonde, well put together. And the first thing out of his mouth was, “So I’m a virgin.”
Silence. Uncomfortable silence. The room didn’t know whether to laugh or scoff or just look at each other and go, “Is he freakin’ serious?”
He went on to poke fun at himself for the next several minutes and, once they realized he was serious, people got more and more boisterous with their laughs .
And, yes, I was laughing too. But I wasn’t laughing at him like the rest of the crowd. I was laughing at just the head-shakingly/eye-rollingly/exasperatingly absurd degree of preoccupation and stigmatization over virginity.
My virginity, for better or for worse, is no secret on this blog. I’m not ashamed of it. Not that I parade that info around in my day-to-day, but it’s deeply part of who I am, and it’s not something I’m going to compromise. Not until my wedding night.
But I’m just so done with virginity being the butt end of a joke. And here, tonight, I was literally smacked in the face with it being a bit in a stand up set.
It’s not stupid. It’s beautiful.
So that was episode #1 where part of who I deeply am, was just flat out laughed at.
Episode #2….is a little harder to talk about. Because…it’s slightly “political.”
But basically, in the WikiLeaks that came out tonight, it was found that the Clinton’s camp just bashed Christians – and Catholics in particular, calling it a “bastardization of faith” and a “dictatorship” with “severely backwards gender relations.” (And I promise that’s as political as this piece is going to get.)
But in literally the span of less than 24 hours, two of my most deeply identifying characteristics: my faith and my virginity, were blatantly laughed at and touted as moronic and out-of-touch.
And I know, these examples weren’t hurled at me personally, but they might as well have been.
But I’m going to be really honest – I couldn’t shake the feeling of just being all alone.
Like, Am I a huge joke? Am I just a walking freak show? A laughing stock just hanging out to dry? What’s wrong with me?
But then I remembered this quote from John 18 where Jesus says: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first…You do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you…If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.”
Listen, I’m not trying to do some Beyonce dance about Runnin’ the World, like, “Oh I’m the chosen one, Jesus chose me, I’m holier than thou, blah blah blah.”
No. Helllll to the no.
What I’m trying to say is that, we were not made for this world.
Everything happening on the news, yeah-it’s pretty bleak. Because this isn’t Heaven.
This world will try us, laugh at us, discourage us, bully us – just look at Jesus.
My virginity is no laughing matter. And my faith is most certainly not a laughing matter.
These deeply held beliefs and values I have do not make me a moron, or someone with “severely backwards” thinking. It doesn’t mean I should be wearing an ankle length skirt with orthopedic shoes, either.
And one final note. To address the “severely backwards gender relations” of the church, mentioned in the Clinton camp emails, I would invite you to read my reflection on the Feminine Genius. I just found out it got shared 88 times on Facebook, so apparently it resonated with a few people. Just wanted to set the record straight on the actual gender relations of the “dictatorship” that is Catholicism. *eyeroll*
Signing off for tonight.
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