Challenging Feminism

Lately, it’s been really weird to be a woman.

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Not because of any fashion or makeup trends…although, I will say…I don’t quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad.

But because of all the recent hyper focus on…feminism.

The Women’s March, International Women’s Day, protests, walk outs, I mean, we get it already

But to be honest, I am confused by the whole matter.

Women are not marginalized in the United States of America. 

What are they fighting for? Why all the anger?

Now listen, I know that this post is probably going to garner a lot of backlash, but you know what, that’s okay. I would love to hear thoughts on all sides of this issue. Truly. Every person is entitled to their own viewpoints, and I respect those feelings, even if they differ from mine. And of course, there is always room for improvement in removing some lingering issues, (representation in senior management, ensuring equal wages), but there is no attack on women.

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But again, I don’t know what women are fighting for.

Is it because we have access to health care?

Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?

I’ll repeat that….57% of college students are female.

Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including the President of the United States?

Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?

I just don’t get it.

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Perhaps they’re marching for the end to rape. Okay. That’s truly a phenomenal cause, and I salute that.

But I honestly don’t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that we’re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman. Perhaps we shouldn’t be referring to women as “bitches and hoes” in our music and television. Perhaps we shouldn’t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, it’s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.

And women, we’re not off the hook either. Listen, I love a little black dress more than anything. Especially if it’s backless. But if we’re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, it’s asking for trouble. Of course men should be able to control themselves. “Asking for it” is never, ever, ever an excuse. But if we’re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?

The biggest thing I have a problem with, is women who are marching for abortion rights.

It’s no secret, I am staunchly pro-life.

But here’s where the feminism argument just doesn’t hold up.

So much of feminism is tied up in the sexual revolution and the emergence of The Pill. The cry of feminism for women to have the sexual freedom that men “have” is the exact antithesis of what true feminism really is!

The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children. Bring life into the world. That is the one and only thing that is uniquely female. That is the aspect of being a woman that is what should be celebrated and cherished and protected. And, in the name of feminism, we’re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift? That, in my opinion, is the exact opposite of feminism.

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“But we’re fighting for a woman’s right to control her own body.”

Okay, terrific. That’s important.

But here’s the thing. Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the mother’s and the baby’s. Her decision is not just hers, but her child’s. How is ending another human life controlling her own body? That sounds to me like controlling someone else’s body.

You want to fight for the marginalized? How about you start with the smallest and most vulnerable of them all? – The child in the womb.

Frankly, I have been so disappointed to be a woman here recently. All the photos of women wearing red, and proclaiming that they’re boycotting work to show what it would be like to have a world without women.

Please. Give me a break. You have a job. A paycheck. A degree. Benefits. Clean drinking water. Health care. Equal opportunities.

This whole feminist movement thing, it just smells of domineering, desperate estrogen, if I’m being really honest.

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I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we are by nature.

Frankly, it is unnatural to try and dominate a man and emasculate him.

I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise to his highest form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a man’s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.

Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.

Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each other’s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.

Because at the end of the day, feminism is not a bad thing. But its definition has been bastardized in recent times. Feminism is the revolution of femininity – in all its forms.

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We, as women, bring with us, our uniquely feminine traits – our feminine genius – into each and every role we take on, whether that be a teacher, a business exec, a mother, a nurse, the President, a professional athlete. Those uniquely feminine traits make us exceptional at those things, and should be celebrated.

A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more. We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?

That’s feminism. That’s where we need to begin.

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466 thoughts on “Challenging Feminism

  1. I totally understand where you are coming from and I agree. I have been to countries where women are not allowed the same rights as men, and if found in those countries “exercising” their sexual rights, they would be shamed and physically harmed. I honestly don’t understand the recent “hype”in the United States, but it is creating interesting dialogue. Thanks for writing this!

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  2. Listen, I totally understand what you’re saying, yet I still disagree. According to today’s population, women are not as “important” as men are. We get payed less at work, we’re “low-class” (even more so if you’re a black women, which is also wrong), and we just aren’t treated the same as men. And now that Trump is president, we get even less rights. I’m not saying your opinion is wrong, I’m just stating my own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you Mary, for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate you joining the conversation. I definitely respect your opinion. That’s one of the reasons I wrote this, was because I sincerely appreciate hearing where other people are coming from, and their perspectives and experiences. There is definitely room for improvement in our society, that’s for sure. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

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      • Hi to both! I’m agreeing with Marie Louise on this issue. Don’t get me wrong, I get where you’re coming from. I have also had my doubts about the whole women’s march movement. And you’re right, in a lot of societies, women have already accomplished so much! But the fact that women don’t get equal pay for equal work just doesn’t make sense to me. And, like you said, the fact the we’re called ‘bitches and hoes’ in songs doesn’t help. You’re asking for a change in our culture and I strongly believe cultures can only be changed when people talk about what’s wrong in their culture. You’re opening a dialogue by posting this blog, for which I salute you. You say you doubt how women’s marches can change culture. The fact that because of these marches you’re actively thinking about feminism (and probably also discussing feminism with friends) shows that these marches have at least opened an interesting dialogue 🙂

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      • Thanks Charlotte! I really appreciate you joining the dialogue! You’re right- the March has definitely started conversations and has brought the cause to the forefront! And Yes! We’ve gotta work on improving those song lyrics 🙂 thanks for stoppingby! Hugs and love xox

        Liked by 1 person

    • A couple of points regarding the comment by Mary Louise:

      1. Basic economics dictates that businesses aim to reduce overhead, so if one qualified employee is less expensive to hire than another with the same skill set, a business will hire the less costly employee, and it has nothing to do with gender. If it did, companies would avoid hiring men, and that’s not the case.

      2. On average, female CEOs of major corporations are paid more than their male counterparts.

      3. To treat a woman like a man (or a man like a woman) would be both absurd and insulting. Men and women may be treated as equals, but they are not the same.

      4. No U.S. Citizen has lost rights due to Donald Trump’s inauguration.

      Not sure where Ms. Mary Louise gets her information, but it appears she’s been misled, and that’s a shame given her young age.

      Carry on.

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  3. Very well written! I really enjoyed reading this piece. I am saddened that women want so desperately to be considered on the same pedestal as men when we have so many beautiful, unique, and important qualities to offer society through our femininity. However, I think this is a problem with society as a whole, men and women. In the long run, this whole movement is going to come back and bite women in the butt. Women cry for equal pay, equal opportunity, equal treatment, but then want special consideration and understanding for things like maternity leave. I’ve even read articles where women cry out for special treatment and consideration in the work place for PMS issues. I have friends that fight and toil to move up the corporate ladder only to complain that they don’t have enough time with their children when they decide to start a family. The reality is that we are not equal, we are created differently, and we can not have everything; we can not enjoy the best of both worlds.

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    • What an awesome perspective. Thank you so much for sharing it. I think you’re right- we all have uniquely specific and incredible traits that make us who we are. I think it all boils down to respect 🙂 thanks again for joining the dialogue. Lots of great food for thought. Hugs and love xox

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  4. Why do you constantly preach to my soul girl?! I thought I was a horrible person for not supporting that women’s march. Like you, I was uber confused about what we were fighting for and what was in jeopardy. Honestly, all this woman stuff had become a huge eye roll for me. I think people need to feel like they are making a difference, so they are just grasping on to anything that makes them feel rebellious. Our culture has a horrible history and habit of trying to resolve issues by addressing surface level problems. We, as a country need to dig a lot deeper to figure out how we arrived at the spot we are in. We are in a culture of having our cake and eating it too. We want it all and for it to be justifiable. One of my biggest issues with many of today’s feminists is the idea that in order to prove ourselves equal to men, we must become them. Dismissing everything that makes us women as weaknesses. It’s, as you said, anti-feminist. One day we want to be praised for the ability to carry a child, the next, we are demanding the same respect for ending that life. It’s all so convoluted and I think it’s time that we pause and reflect. I could go on and on, but thank you for this post. At least, I know I’m not alone in my sentiments! As always, thanks for this post!

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    • Hahaha oh Celestial:) thank you so much! I’m so glad this struck a chord with you! Yeah from the portrayal of the events in the media, you’d think we were the only women not in attendance! Haha but you’re right, lots of contractions and confusion if you as me:) thanks for stopping by! Big big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  5. This is an outstanding but a minority post. Your questions and perspective are extremely perceptive and balanced, but in the same way as many of my own posts on the subject likely to be howled down. I really really do NOT understand feminism today but maybe that’s because I am male, white, English and 70 years old. But …. my wife is female (!) Asian, also 70, and she doesn’t understand it either. Here’s a fantasy scenario: Women (feminists?) take to the streets to protest about rape globally, female subjugation in Islam, girl trafficking in India, etc etc. Guess what? The whole world supports you. But ….. a march against Trump, against Brexit, ….. don’t make me laugh! You demean the whole of humanity when you pretend to speak for all women too.

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  6. Pingback: The Spotlight: Challenging Feminism – Grace and Truth

  7. It’s a silly thing to say I suppose, you have had such fantastic comments, but in an abortion situation, there are THREE people involved to my mind. The mother, the baby and the father – the father is the one who often is not consulted. In sleeping with a man, the woman needs to realise she is accepting his genetic material if there is a pregnancy. Even if it’s all accidental, and she doesn’t want the baby, morally, you can’t just brush the father off. She WAS part of the contract in the act of sex. To my mind – sex now, is simply copulation, as unimportant as blowing your nose or having a cup of tea. THAT’s the problem. But the hormones we release during sex, the possibility of creating a child, the seriousness of exposing yourself so intimately in an action with another human in a “conversation” is more profound than words. Sex is just sex, now, and like a cup of tea, if you don’t like the dregs left in the cup, just chuck them out! Or get rid of the snotty tissue!

    I really liked your post – thank you for having the courage to write it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, I am just nodding my head right along with you! Yeah, I think you’re right – sex is just so not-a-big-deal now adays. Especially with online dating. And especccccccially in NYC. I mean, it’s crazy, you meet a guy at a bar, and after talking for 30 minutes they’re trying to get you to go home with them. It’s crazy. I agree, sex means something. Especially for women, there is an emotional aspect to it. your metaphor with the tea was really powerful. any who. thanks so much for this awesome comment. big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

    • I learned a lot about the feminist movement in the 1970s.

      I learned that to say, “Yes, Ma’am,” was a slur.

      I learned that I would be cussed out if I offered a woman my seat on the bus.

      I learned that I would be called a “Chauvinist Pig” if I held a door open for a woman to enter a building ahead of myself.

      I learned that I would be spat upon if I held my umbrella over a woman’s head during a rain.

      I learned that if I was physically attacked by a woman and didn’t fight back, I was a pussy.

      I also learned that the feminist movement has nothing to do with feminism and equality.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Women need to be treated with respect! Women are a gift to this world not to be wasted, abused, enslaved, mistreated, or mishandled in any way! Men and boys need to know that women are to be treated as humans and not cast off property or things! You are a gift among all women and a delight to this world in all ways!! Love and hugs!!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Feminism today has become another “ism” and has become another din echoing the malaise of our world. Today’s feminism mixes a cauldron full of different voices often in opposition to the grass roots ideals of woman’s rights. Feminism today reflects the confusion created by gender, body, ethnic and self politics- the mix creates many voices as oppose to one. Often these voices are in conflict and reflects the fractures from a diverse world where causes become incidental to lived experience. On the one hand, there is a strong voice against rape and the brutality of women echoing the voice of real victims, to ethnic and religious politics, lead by a medley of female leaders one whose support of Sharia law is in opposition to the very premise of the suppression and subjugation of women that takes place around our globe. Contradiction!!

    There is also hate and race politics thrown into the mix, and this has stirred the most rancid voice in feminism.

    All together they create a shroud of white noise around feminism so that it’s become a free for all kind of definition without grounding.

    12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

    1 Corinthians 13:12 | NIV

    Liked by 2 people

    • that’s a powerful verse, thank you for sharing. and i really appreciate you joining the conversation on this one! You’re right, there are so many different issues in the mix, that it really has become white noise. that’s a great way to put it. complex issues all the way around. thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  10. WOW! The tears of hope and wonder are copiously flowing from my lachrymal. The description of a true woman you have exposed in this post is exactly as the Creator meant it to be. None of us can achieve such status without suffering. Much to be said on the matter. It all boils down to the Father/Creator of our beings. In time, we must all arrive at King Solomon’s conclusion.

    Perhaps a reminder to my own self on what to do? No need to wonder. No need in trying to figure out what comes next. No need to study and rack my brains to learn what I don’t need to learn. It is written,

    Ecclesiastes 12:11-14
    The words of the wise are like prodding goads, and firmly fixed [in the mind] like nails are the collected sayings which are given [as proceeding] from one Shepherd. But about going further [than the words given by one Shepherd], my son, be warned. Of making many books there is no end [so do not believe everything you read], and much study is a weariness of the flesh. All has been heard; the end of the matter is:
    1. Fear God [revere and worship Him, knowing that He is].
    2. Keep His commandments
    • For this is the whole of man [the full, original purpose of his creation
    • The object of God’s providence.
    • The root of character
    • The foundation of all happiness
    • The adjustment to all inharmonious circumstances and conditions under the sun and the whole duty for every man
    For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it is good or evil.

    O my sister, what a blessing you are. I sincerely hope to establish a relationship with you. I know in my heart this is our Father’s time to join us all one by one. Hope you sense the same thing. Much love, thiaBasilia. 🙂

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    • Gosh, I am so touched by this beautiful reflection. thank you so much, thiaBasilia. That is so so true: the end matter: to fear God and keep His commandments. amen to that! i think if we all were to wake up every day and remember that, the world would be a better place 🙂 hugs to you xox

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  11. Excellent post! It’s interesting that the rad-fems tend too ignore the plight of women elsewhere in paces where they are truly marginalized — like the Middle East, for example. Very well done!

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  12. Some interesting thoughts! I agree that the feminist movements going on now seem to have gone a little wacky. I’ve been shut down from questioning things because I am a white male. That’s not a very equality-minded thing to do. I have also looked into the “Gender Pay Gap” and have found it to be quite the misleading statistic.

    On the topic of abortion, I am in favour of a harm-reduction approach. There are cases where abortion should be considered, and there are cases where abortion should not be considered. There is also a large gray area where many factors are involved. It’s a very complex issue, and it disappoints me that it is often simplified into “pro-life” and “pro-choice”.

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  13. Much love to you for spreading truth.

    If feminism truly had women’s best interest at heart it would celebrate motherhood. A God-like power that only wom(b)en have. Instead they champion abortion.

    when women stay married, they are healthier, live longer, and wealthier. Instead, feminism champions single moms and pushes policy that encourages and celebrates divorce.

    Such cognitive dissonance is there in all of these types of causes that aim to profit from people’s grievances. Feminism divides the sexes, destroys the family and is only a boon to the political classes that conquer through division. Feminism has turned into a cancer. Avoid it like the plague.

    keep spreading truth!

    Like

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