Challenging Feminism

Lately, it’s been really weird to be a woman.

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Not because of any fashion or makeup trends…although, I will say…I don’t quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad.

But because of all the recent hyper focus on…feminism.

The Women’s March, International Women’s Day, protests, walk outs, I mean, we get it already

But to be honest, I am confused by the whole matter.

Women are not marginalized in the United States of America. 

What are they fighting for? Why all the anger?

Now listen, I know that this post is probably going to garner a lot of backlash, but you know what, that’s okay. I would love to hear thoughts on all sides of this issue. Truly. Every person is entitled to their own viewpoints, and I respect those feelings, even if they differ from mine. And of course, there is always room for improvement in removing some lingering issues, (representation in senior management, ensuring equal wages), but there is no attack on women.

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But again, I don’t know what women are fighting for.

Is it because we have access to health care?

Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?

I’ll repeat that….57% of college students are female.

Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including the President of the United States?

Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?

I just don’t get it.

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Perhaps they’re marching for the end to rape. Okay. That’s truly a phenomenal cause, and I salute that.

But I honestly don’t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that we’re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman. Perhaps we shouldn’t be referring to women as “bitches and hoes” in our music and television. Perhaps we shouldn’t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, it’s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.

And women, we’re not off the hook either. Listen, I love a little black dress more than anything. Especially if it’s backless. But if we’re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, it’s asking for trouble. Of course men should be able to control themselves. “Asking for it” is never, ever, ever an excuse. But if we’re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?

The biggest thing I have a problem with, is women who are marching for abortion rights.

It’s no secret, I am staunchly pro-life.

But here’s where the feminism argument just doesn’t hold up.

So much of feminism is tied up in the sexual revolution and the emergence of The Pill. The cry of feminism for women to have the sexual freedom that men “have” is the exact antithesis of what true feminism really is!

The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children. Bring life into the world. That is the one and only thing that is uniquely female. That is the aspect of being a woman that is what should be celebrated and cherished and protected. And, in the name of feminism, we’re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift? That, in my opinion, is the exact opposite of feminism.

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“But we’re fighting for a woman’s right to control her own body.”

Okay, terrific. That’s important.

But here’s the thing. Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the mother’s and the baby’s. Her decision is not just hers, but her child’s. How is ending another human life controlling her own body? That sounds to me like controlling someone else’s body.

You want to fight for the marginalized? How about you start with the smallest and most vulnerable of them all? – The child in the womb.

Frankly, I have been so disappointed to be a woman here recently. All the photos of women wearing red, and proclaiming that they’re boycotting work to show what it would be like to have a world without women.

Please. Give me a break. You have a job. A paycheck. A degree. Benefits. Clean drinking water. Health care. Equal opportunities.

This whole feminist movement thing, it just smells of domineering, desperate estrogen, if I’m being really honest.

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I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we are by nature.

Frankly, it is unnatural to try and dominate a man and emasculate him.

I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise to his highest form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a man’s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.

Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.

Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each other’s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.

Because at the end of the day, feminism is not a bad thing. But its definition has been bastardized in recent times. Feminism is the revolution of femininity – in all its forms.

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We, as women, bring with us, our uniquely feminine traits – our feminine genius – into each and every role we take on, whether that be a teacher, a business exec, a mother, a nurse, the President, a professional athlete. Those uniquely feminine traits make us exceptional at those things, and should be celebrated.

A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more. We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?

That’s feminism. That’s where we need to begin.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

660 thoughts on “Challenging Feminism

      1. Hello, I actually do like your post. i think we do need to teach our men how to treat women,and not how to basically treat each other in this society we live in. I am pro choice and my thing with abortion is I believe there should be sex education in high schools. If we can teach our young that sex is beautiful,and that you have to protect yourself I think abortion will continue to go down. Also I have spoken to some women who went to the Womens march. Most of the Women I talked to were women of color,who sometimes feel like they are not included in the national dialogue. I also talked to some trans women who feel like some feminist are very antagonistic to them,and they went to lend their voice to the discussion. I do agree that women in the west are at a very good advantage,compared to other women in the world. However,things still are not perfect here and they very much may never be perfect. I do consider myself a feminist however, I do not attack women who are not feminist as self hating women. I did like your post,and keep up the good work. I think discussions like this are needed to move the conversation forwarded.

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  1. Read Sheldon Vanauken’s “under the mercy” in which he points to equal but different.. Noticed you are often reading my blog. Have you also lost a spouse recently?

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      1. Thank you. It is nice to know someone besides family reads my stuff.. I ‘m still on my Grief journey. Wife died January 7, 2017. Only 7 weeks from diagnosis to death. Cancer sucks.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Gosh, that is so tragic. I am so sorry for your loss, which i know sounds like hollow words, but I want you to know that I sincerely pray for you and your grief journey. yes, cancer does suck. Thank you for sharing your journey. sending all my love. xx

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  2. What a pleasure to read this post! I have 5 kids! 3 boys, 2girls. Growing up was confusing for them. People glared at me for overpopulating the world—I feel I contributed, and now, at 83, I’ve just published a book. Also, the current publicity on homosexuals and transgenders can be confusing for young people trying to figure out how to be men and women. We are not androgynous!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Paula! Oh wow 5 kids, that’s awesome!! And congratulations on your book! You’re right- it’s difficult to find those fundamental truths in today’s cultural climate. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  3. Wish WordPress had a “Love” button. Couldn’t agree more! We’re marching for the wrong rights ladies! I am not a male. I was not created to be one. I’m NOT inferior, but I AM different and we should be celebrating those God given differences.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I couldn’t help but agree with your viewpoint. Adolescents or teenagers like me should be educated more with such thing before entering womanhood since both ignorance and negligence are a of total foolishness and stupidity. In this point of our generation, women should know more about what is their right role in the society.

    God bless and keep writing ❤ 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much friend. I appreciate you joining the conversation! You’re right, we should be offering good role models to teens and young adults too. That transition period is so precious 🙂 my sister in law always says, in a world of Kim kardashians, be a Joanna Gaines (from HGTV’s fixer upper) haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  5. I am actually pro-choice (not pro-abortion, and no, I don’t want to argue with you about that), and I supported the march, but I absolutely love this post. Seriously. This is the absolute best, most articulate, and least abrasive argument I’ve ever read/heard for being pro-life and for being skeptical of the Women’s March. If more of us could relay our thoughts in this way, the world would be a better place. And you know what? Only a woman could say it as well as you did! I love it.

    Best,
    Andrea

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Andrea. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue. Thanks for your kind and respectful words! I so admire your openness and willingness to participate in an open and respectful dialogue. Seriously. That’s what we need for healing and understanding. The world needs more people like you 🙂 sending massive hugs your way 🤗 xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You hands down put my own thoughts into words. I was just telling my husband the other day about these same feelings and thoughts I was having. Men and women are meant to be different and embrace the power and beauty that difference offers. Thank you for the courage and beauty in expressing this!!

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  7. Every person has a different reason, perhaps. However, some of the organizers of the Womens’ March are actually against women’ rights. So, what we saw was a political protest masquerading as something else. Personally, I’m all for women’ rights but the the one country that has done more for women’ rights is the U.S.A. So why all the fuss? Why aren’t they protesting for women’ rights for women in Saudi Arabia, for example?

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    1. Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection. I agree, we have so much to be grateful for her in the US. I mean SO MUCH. Thanks for stopping by and joining the dialogue. Hugs and love xox

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  8. First, and most importantly… just love Buffy and Willow! lol

    What matters most, pick a topic, is Truth. So, in general, things to research…

    Who is behind the brainwashing of so-called “feminists”? What is their motive / intention?
    Who organized the women’s marches? That’s kinda key. Look it up.
    Where is George Soros’ hand in such things? What did he or his organizations pay for?

    Women in western countries run around topless as they sing Allah Akbar, obviously not grasping that doing such in Muslim countries would very likely get one stoned to death or equal. I have far less issue with their t*ts hanging out than I do with their ignorance sticking out. They could stand to cover that up, no one needs to see that. 😉 lol

    There is a major disconnect for a “liberal / feminist” to ally with Muslims who are the biggest abusers and oppressors of women in the world, one could say they are anti-liberal… then, yes, these liberals “protest” in America of all places. It doesn’t need to make sense… because it’s unsane. And marching to protest rape? … as invading Muslims rape every European man, woman and child they can get their hands on?

    Abortion? I’m still pro-choice, BUT! I’m mostly into encouraging and advocating EMPOWERMENT. Hey, I’d love to see the whole “free love” idea of the ’60s see realization, but meanwhile being discriminatory / selective in your sexual partners is key. First and foremost, there is a great energy exchange during sex, which makes a good case against promiscuity. Isn’t your plate full enough? Really, you want to willy nilly take on someone else’s issues too? Including some “someones” who you may not even know very well? How’s about being pro-choice before you hop in the sack?

    Furthermore, Creation, including procreation, starts at the Intention level. How’s about tapping into one’s Intentional Power SO masterfully that you and a partner who don’t use birth control don’t need to, you only need to set your intentions. THAT would completely erase any possibility of an “unwanted pregnancy”. How’s that for Empowerment?! How’s that for completely obliterating even any further discussion about abortion?!

    … and yet, yep, let’s see some Truth there too. I’d like to see ALL the truth come out about abortions and what happens to the fetal tissue, etc. THAT is where the story is concerning abortion, NOT about Jane Average making a choice in her life. And yet as far as personal choices go, it is Truth that allows people to make an informed choice… about anything and everything. But one must be open to the Truth, even if it completely dashes their belief system. “A man searched his whole life for Truth. One day Truth knocked at his door… and he slammed the door in its face.”

    https://gaiaascensionforerunner.wordpress.com/2017/04/14/who-will-not-ascend/

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue and sharing your thoughts! Empowerment is definitely an interesting way to look at things. thanks for the powerful food for thought. big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Thanks for the likes. This post on Feminism is classic.
    May I add. Today, we have false feminism. The main problem rests on the philosophy it is based on. It hinges on the idea that women must conform to maleness and manhood as model. What a feminist must do is uphold the dignity and honor of womanhood—what women do that men cannot without changing their biology.

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  10. This is a really good post. I like that it points out the faults of the modern feminist movement and where it should be if it were truly for women. Many of the modern feminist goals are why I don’t like the movement and why I don’t consider myself a feminist at all. It’s goals turn me off. But it is refreshing to hear of other women who share this view.

    Also thanks for visiting my blog and liking what I’ve written. I appreciate it!

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  11. You have written well , and I must say I admire the idea and wisdom in your write up great, I have seen the problem too the direction at which feminisim Is evolving is a wrong it is mutually destructive than productive in regards to setting that equilibrium for peaceful co-existence, it has endured that the silent psychological war goes on , this mutually destructive war between both genders in quest for dominance …. And I will correct a perception , and I stand corrected it is what I belief because there is need for a paradigm shift … According to the bible men have being given some kind of dominance naturally so attempts to keep echoing it causes the upsurge of what I call the “servile syndrome” so the woman is not created to do more than what the man can do. They are to do what the men cannot do because each gender are naturally endowed with distinct functions … You can get more on my point of view on spiralofthyrayvelation.WordPress.com …

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  12. This quest for dominance between has broken homes , terminated relationships, I will have to refute the statement that says women can do more than what men can do that is “like fueling the war” Women are to do what men cannot do I.e.every gender has distinct functions, and you have written well 👍 … Both gender needs to acquire high level of understanding and basking in the satisfaction of whom they really are male or female .. the battle for dominance is a lost cause , the girth is that both cannot do without the other … So no amount of marching can change that , #peace

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  13. You have eloquently put into words my slack jawed response at the seemingly invisible attack on women’s rights and what not. Millions of women marching for a cause that I could not understand. Perhaps my sheltered point of view is skewed from a perspective of understood peace among North Americans. I guess I never got the memo that anyone has been so greatly wronged that the entire country should take action. BBB, you’re beautiful darlin’.

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    1. Thank you so much friend 🙂 I’m so glad this resonated with you. Gosh, I am really touched by your words. Yeah, we have so much to be grateful for, I don’t understand the need to protest those “wrongs.” thanks for stopping by and for your support! big hugs xox

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  14. Thank you for sharing your wonderfully put perspective on these issues. I’m thinking you’re really onto something here!!

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  15. It’s so difficult to talk to women who take the “feminist” stance which is disappointing. I would never tell someone they are stupid for standing for something but instead of focusing on free birth control we should focus on the sexual assault, rape, and spousal abuse which is still prominent in the US. Thank you for sharing your voice!

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  16. I agree with many of the points you make about feminism in this article. Higher education, medical care, political rights, ability to work, etc. We are on opposite sides of the abortion issue, and yes, I do see this issue as a woman’s right to decide. Personally, I do not understand why anyone would want to boycott work just to show what the world would be like. Open a history book to find out what life was like. There is tons of literature available. Why jeopardize what you have? Attack on feminism? I do not really see that in America. Thank you for sharing your view points!

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    1. Thank you so much for joining the conversation! I think you’re right- we have so much to be grateful for. Why jeopardize what you have is right. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Your post is great and filled with a lot of pointers that so-called ‘feminists’ would rather ignore in favour of their own stand. However, I have one question: If womanhood is about the ability to bear life, what does womanhood mean for those who have womb/cervical cancers and have undergone a hysterectomy?
    Thanks for reading my blog post The Money Conundrum by the way.

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  18. The only reason that “women’s march” occurred was to create a disturbance and distract from the hated enemy of the liberal Democrats Trump on Inauguration Day. I love being a woman and do girly things and yet I am one tough broad like my sister was and we both went hunting and fishing with our dad back in the day. Had a great career with the Feds for many years. Some don’t have any legitimate gripes but can’t stand to see someone else win for a change. In my many years of work experience, I only saw pay unequal if someone was trying to stick it to someone or play favoritism. You only saw that behavior in the private sector.

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  19. Very well said. I truly appreciate your writing as well as the God-given light that shines through you in the way you share your life and faith. He made you for a purpose and it is wonderful to see that purpose displayed so beautifully.

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  20. Whoa. I found myself wanting to argue, but unable to conjure meaningful words from my brain dictionary. Such a touchy subject. You are courageous for taking it on like this. I actually was just making fun of a facebook page called, “women against feminism”– calling it a group for ‘self-hate’. But, I’m questioning myself.

    I feel like taking my brain hands off the topic and letting women deal with it, but then that’s not really fair. Men and women contribute to patriarchy. While things may be better than they were in the past, I assume that a large group of Americans would send us straight back to the biblical days.. if they could. And they’re trying. I think this is where the radical feminists come in– they just keep pushing the envelope, stopping the backsliding into stoning for adultery and shit.

    And, then there are the ‘Spiritual’ fools that still actively promote some ancient view of woman, thinking their occult garbage is some justification for bullshit patriarchal ideals handed down from the exoteric teachings of their stupid religions. I’m getting angry at religion again, lately 🙂 I recently had to battle some super popular “Gnostic” on this topic. They claim awakening but act like robots trained by idiot dogma.

    So, I guess my view of this topic digs into the spiritual teachings our culture holds dear.. Annnnnd, those books that hold those spiritual teachings contain tons of hateful bullshit that leave women in the mud. And, then I see women defending these ‘revealed’ commands about how to mistreat women and I am saddened and confused.

    I might not make much sense. But, if we read deeply, and look around with clear vision, we see the bullshit from our religious texts playing out still, in the actions of people who claim to be irreligious. The influence of Christian ideals is huge– most western non-christians, from the ways they act and the morality they uphold, might as well be Christian.

    Much love! Many blessings!
    Thanks for sharing your gnotruth!

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation! Yeah there are definitely areas that need improvement, but we have so much to be grateful for. I appreciate you sharing your perspective! Big hugs to you xox

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  21. Spot on! The thing is, if a woman doesn’t want to become a mother, she doesn’t have to, but a man doesn’t have that choice, so I don’t know what they’re complaining about.

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  22. I do have to have a different opinion. I think one of the reasons of the Marchs in USA is because of the way that president trump treats woman, it isn’t very nice and its hardly a secret. Indeed there are more woman in university but less woman in research or employed as professors. Any woman or any person in fact can choose to go to University as long as they have the grades, but when it comes to getting a job and being a leader the statistics are lower. Many CEO’s are men. Furthermore I don’t agree with ‘The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children’. That really limits what woman can do, sure its great that we have that option but that is not the sole purpose of a woman. Imagine if everyone woman had one child in the world, you have to bear in mind that the words resources are not limitless. All woman should have the right to have the choice to have a child or not, it is a womans body, that’s awful not to allow a person to take the decision in my opinion, if its banned woman will go to the blackmarket and likely get botched job and suffer injury or death. Overall I think its important that woman do stand together especially when people like Trump take the attitude they take.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation. I really appreciate hearing all of the different perspectives. When we come together and listen to each other and have a respectful conversation, it leads to respect and understanding. So thank you:) Hugs and love xox

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  23. People are marching because even though we have things really great compared to the rest of the world, it’s still not perfect (or even close). And we’re striving for perfect balance, perfect equality. And because things have been happening that perhaps could imply that we are not going to be allowed the privileges and rights we have been. And because we have to “BE ALLOWED.” Society can turn on a dime, and people can lose what they have overnight. I think all women would just like all people to know that we are paying attention, that we are not going without a fight. That we are out here, working on changing the culture, and will not step back into the “good old days” when women didn’t have to be bothered to vote or own property or travel unchaperoned.

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  24. Thank you! And I’m cis female akanborn and don’t want to get surgery but due to psycholgical issues since childhood I don’t identify as a woman and not quite a male although God did make me a lady. But regardless, this feminism trend is out of control. There’s a hashtag for radical feminists #killallmen how horrible is that?! God bless you hunny another amazing post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Aibon, thank you so much for sharing your story. Kill all men!?!! Yikes. That is really disturbing. I’m all for love and respect all the way around. You’re right – it’s out of control. So glad you stopped by 🙂 big hugs to you! Xox

      Like

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