The Angry Feminist

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Warning: this post may be slightly unpopular.

You know what fashion trend I am completely over? Shirts with words on them.

You know what I’m talking about…they’ll have random words like, “How about Tacos” or “#squad” or something like “Laundry Day.” The whole I’m-really-trying-to-look-like-I’m-not-trying look. And listen buddy, you ain’t foolin’ anybody. Just take your poly/cotton blend attempt at irony back to the dumpster fire that is Forever 21 where it belongs.

Sheesh.

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But since I’ve been back in NYC, I’ve noticed the tone of these said “word shirts” have gotten…well…hostile.

And women, I’m looking at us.

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I’ve seen shirts with language such as “No Uterus, No Opinion,” “Not your P####,” “Feminist as F@%#,” “Who Runs the World? Girls,” “F#*%ing Nasty Woman,” and my personal favorite…”She’s Beauty, She’s Grace, She’ll Punch You in the Face.”

Frankly, I’m disgusted.

Listen, I am all for celebrating womanhood and the feminine genius – after all, we are the crown of creation and have so much to offer the world – but when did celebrating womanhood become about absolutely tearing down men?

There’s no excuse for belittling another human being just to elevate oneself. I mean, isn’t that exactly what you’re “fighting” to stop in the first place? Apparently it’s okay to reduce a man’s value and worth and intelligence because it’s in the name of feminism, right?

What message are we sending to children, when our clothing attacks men with profanity and language I certainly wouldn’t want my future children repeating?

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I mean, where’s the line?

And I get it…there are a lot of reasons, especially given recent history, for women to be up in arms. (I’m lookin’ at you, R. Kelly, Donald Trump, Jay Z). And those feelings are valid and important.

But for cryin’ out loud, can’t we take the high road?

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The truth is, men and women are different. We are each a unique reflection of our Maker, and are equal partners in life, in marriage, under the law, in the eyes of God.

But I’m tired of women putting men down just to advance the feminist agenda.

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One of my favorite verses on this is from Col 3:18-19, which gets a bad wrap. It’s all about a wife submitting to her husband. But what gets left out is where the husband gets that very same instruction! And it goes further in 1 Peter 3:7 to say that husbands should treat their wives “with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life.”

God wants men and women to be a team.

We are to build one another up.

We are to treat one another with respect and dignity – as equal partners.

One of the most powerful things my mom ever said to me was that when you get married, your number one job is to help get your spouse to Heaven.

It’s an equal partnership where the earthly and eternal wellbeing of the other becomes more important then your own.

That’s radical feminism.

That’s the male/female relationship we should strive for.

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I’m going to call it how I see it: this new wave of profane feminism isn’t feminism…it’s bullying. 

And you know what? It needs to stop.

By acting out with such base and vile behavior and language, we’re just as bad as the “mysogyny” we’re fighting against.

It’s the epitome of hypocritical, and honestly, it’s just in bad taste.

I’m just going to leave you with this…you attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

And maybe, if we hold ourselves to the standards of virtue and grace, and humility and honor, then men will take a page from our book, and that respect we’re demanding will be voluntarily given.

So please, enough with the aggression. It doesn’t look good on you, sweetheart.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

553 thoughts on “The Angry Feminist”

  3. Cruel is cruel. If the same shirts were being worn by people that the group of women you wrote about did not agree with, they would be just as upset, as they should be. The double standard needs to be pointed out. Thank you for doing that.

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  4. I agree with not getting ugly to make a point. Putting down others to make yourself look bigger only makes you smaller. I abhor the nastiness of all this hatefulness and backbiting. It’s of no value. But I do agree, standing up for ourselves takes guts and sometimes a force to be heard. Whether male or female. Great change for the greater good has never come easily. Tho I do feel we can be better served with love and respect. Thanks for sharing.

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  5. Amen! I alway felt like the way marriage should be is as a team, as the husband takes care of the wive financially but the wive takes care of the husband emotionally. Nobody is better then one another in this world! We all want to be treated with respect so we need to show others we can respect! Thank you for writing this much needed to be heard post! 😊❤️

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  6. Reblogged this on Life with Ayla and commented:
    This post is a much needed to heard post! We all want respect so we should give others respect no matter who, what, or where they are! God said to love thy enemies, Do it for Jesus not just yourself 😊❤️🙏

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  7. Am so glad your Mom is doing okay. Keeping her in my prayers as well as the rest of your family. Love you and God Bless, SR

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  8. I think this is really well thought out. I agree: extremism on either side (of ANY argument) doesn’t help either side and leads to further prejudices.

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  9. This is so valid. I appreciate you calling it out and honoring both why women feel the need to do that and also calling for a correction to the behavior.

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      3. Hey since I’m just getting started with this blogging journey any help or advice you could give would be great. 🙂

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  11. Hi There! You recently read or at least liked my new post. 🙂 and I wanted to tell you how much I have connected with your blog, your honesty, the way you communicate, and how you do it. Beauty Beyond Bones has touched me in a deeper way as I have been exploring, through my own recent process of another layer of healing that God has me working through, how to share my voice. It’s been a struggle and a frustrating process to creatively express those thoughts, feelings, and emotions within me.  With all that said! haha I found in my last post that I was able to express myself better and I really enjoyed using giffs and other photos, like you do, to convey something that words often cannot. The way you structure your blog posts similarly has inspired me to do the same. Not that other people don’t, but your specifically has spoken to me. However, I never asked your permission to do so in my own blog and wanted to ask your permission if that’s OK?  I don’t want to infringe on any type of copyright laws and I want to respect you and your expression. Not that I am copying your material or any photos or anything like that, but in terms of how your blog is formatted. Does that make sense? I wanted to open communication and be mindful of not taking away or impinging on the way you communicate through how I communicate publicly.  Thank you for your time and thank you for continuing to share your heart so openly.  Best Regards, Nathalie Nathalie SelleslagsMSW Candidate 2018University of Southern California,Suzanne Dworak-Peck School of Social Work 

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Thank you for this. I have always felt uncomfortable with calling myself a feminist because there seemed to be so much anger, hostility, and even hatred behind it. And I’m all for people standing up for themselves and voicing their opinion, but it’s definitely possible to do so in both a firm and mature way. No one is going to want to hear (or in the case of a t-shirt, read) a message if it’s constantly vulgar, and no one will hear it beyond screaming and yelling.

    And I also love how you say that men and women are a team, and that we should be building each other up and motivating one another, rather than constantly trying to prove that one is better than the other. We are all made in the image of God, and we are all loved by God.

    -Alyx

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    1. Thanks so much Alyx. I agree- there’s definitely a way to express ones beliefs with respect without having to undercut people or use vulgarity. And thanks for your kind words 🙂 yes! Let’s build one another up in love! Hugs and love xox

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  13. I can imagine how you feel seeing those evil messages that now pass as some form of justice. Feminism is just another chapter of how anger and hatred are widespread in society. We need to make sure love doesn’t cool off in our hearts. God’s grace is where we get that assurance. I met a friend of a friend the other say and she reminded me of how negative and bitter people can be. Even though it isn’t easy and hurts to be sensitive to the truths of this world, I feel very grateful because God gives me strength and shows me a way of love and peace that is the only reason why this world doesn’t turn me into a zombie!

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  15. What a refreshing perspective. It’s a shame that so many think that they have to tear others down to get ahead. What if we all started helping one another achieve each other’s goals? Everyone wins, and no one is cut down in the process. Keep up the good work!

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  16. So I generally love most of your posts, but I have a couple questions here. 1. How is wearing a shirt that says “No uterus, no opinion” or “Not your p*ssy” tearing down men? I for one don’t like men passing laws about my reproductive organs or rights without consulting my gender as a whole first; but completely ignoring that fact, it’s NOT “his” p*ssy and men don’t have uteruses. And I don’t see us going around regulating their reproductive organs. Even the “F**king nasty b**ch” shirt is meant to mean the person wearing it is calling THEMSELVES that, so again I don’t understand how you think this is an act of aggression or emasculation towards men. Could you explain your viewpoint to me?

    I know that some people have gone too far over the line with being “feminist” and end up embodying misandry, but I don’t think these shirts are an example of that. Either way, I think all women (who choose to be a part of the feminist movement) have the right to represent their beliefs and their sense of empowerment in whatever way they see fit. Most of the women I know who are raging feminists have no desire to put men down, they just want to stop the men who put women down and they want to be treated as equals. If we view THAT as tearing men down then I’m of the opinion that THAT is what patriarchy turned inward looks like.

    Maybe the shirts are a offensive to some but they offend me a lot less than the ones that say “Get in the kitchen” or “Make me a sandwich” or “Trump that B*tch” or better yet, “Better to grab a p*ssy than to be one”. Just my thoughts. As always, thank you for sharing though. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this perspective. definitely some powerful food for thought here. These shirts show just the aggressive and hostile tone that the movement has taken that I don’t appreciate. The sentiments behind the profanities are definitely something that I can understand and get behind, but I just think there’s a higher road to take, that’s all. but that’s just my opinion. i absolutely love hearing all opinions and viewpoints and I appreciate learning new things from everyone, so thank you for sharing this! You’ve definitely given me a lot to think about! have a great night 🙂 hugs xo

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  17. Wow! This is an excellent post. Me being a man, I may get some flack on what I’m about to say. Feminism and Chauvinism has no place in God’s kingdom. Those are satanic ideals. See some of the “isms” in the world come from satanism. God created man and woman. While we are equal in nature, God created men to have a lead role in the home and church. Ephesians 5:22-23, 24: ” (22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
    (23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. (25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Men ought to love their wives so much they’d be willing to die for them like Christ died for us.

    Men are to “lead” in a Christ like manner, but not be domineering or controlling or disrespectful or abusive or etc. Anyone remembers when Jesus washed the disciples’ feet? The disciples were arguing over which of them will be greatest in heaven. Christ used that moment to teach them humility. See we look at the world’s view of leadership as leadership. It’s not the same as God’s view of leadership. The world teaches to be bossy, demanding, domineering, and controlling. Christ teaches the opposite. So when anyone see the word “submit” in scripture, it’s not a bad thing. Remember this, Christ is equal to God the Father in nature yet He submits to the authority of God the Father. This should be the attitude of both men & women.

    If we were to submit to God fully, then everything else falls into place. Before I go, one quick example of feminism in the bible, what Eve did. Remember she ate of the tree. That’s feminism. She not only disobeyed God, but did not follow her husband. Adam was guilty because he allowed it to happen, let his wife lead, and also ate. Sorry for being long. I thank you for posting this. You are wise beyond your years. Have a blessed day.

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  18. I loved this post and I absolutely agree with you. This vehement anger and hatred spurred on by the human ego to divide us will only continue to do just that. If we want to live in a world where there is peace, love, respect, and equality we are going to have to start listening to and acting out of the spirit – the opposite of the ego. Ego is selfish and self-centered, materialistic, looks out for number one, and divides/separates. It is from the human mind and is the enemy, and it is all in our head. If we begin to change our thinking and see and think with spiritual eyes and then start acting on it we will see all of this hateful division and nonsense dissipate. When we see people treating one another (or themselves) with disdain or disrespect we have to remember that it is not who they are, it is their ego that is acting this out. Who we truly are is Spirit and we are all one. We are all connected. And eventually we will all come to know it. Thank you for this great post and something important to think about. I have two teenage daughters and I am teaching them the very things you wrote about today. I believe it is important for ladies like us to try to positively impact the generations to come.

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  21. 100% agree with you! Thanks for another brilliant piece! I’ve never read writings with biblical quotes with this positive vibe I’m having now. Thanks!

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  23. This post brings up mixed feelings for me. The title and the first line made me think, Uh oh! When you named specific examples, though, I was like, Are these real? Most of those are extreme and offensive and over the top. You’d be a pariah in South Carolina for wearing that, but in New York? You have to shock people to get noticed. Just saying.
    But you didn’t throw shade at Beyonce, did you? Don’t be dissin’ Queen Bee, now.
    Seriously, though, as a man, I’m not offended by “Who run the world?” as a T-shirt or a song. From the beginning of human civilization, men have conspired to keep themselves in charge and have created legal and political systems to make women possessions of men. If some women want to turn the tables after ten thousand years, I have no right to complain.
    For the record, I am on board with the idea of equality between men and women. I’ve studied a lot about Christian history and come to the conclusion that Jesus tried to move us toward that. The Bible says male and female were made equally in God’s image, but by his time people had lost sight of that. It’s all the more remarkable how he included women in all levels of his community of followers when the world was dominated by three patriarchal cultures—Roman, Jewish, and Greek. Unfortunately, the church over time reverted back to patriarchalism, conforming to the world rather than transforming it.
    I think we are now at a time when we can reclaim the equality and balance between masculine and feminine God originally intended, in the church and society at large. But we have to recognize it’s an uphill march. Patriarchy and misogyny have thousands of years of momentum, and even in America we are moving against the flow. Let us not grow weary in living what we believe. To change people’s hearts and minds, it’s going to take an “army” of men and women who live the equality we preach, while recognizing and appreciating our differences.
    I know I’ve talked a long time, but let me end with this. Early in our relationship, my fiancé said something about the man leading in order to model God as Father.
    Me: So are you saying if we get married, you expect me to be your leader?
    Her: I don’t know about that. You’d have your hands full.
    Let’s just say she knows she’s equal to me, and I love her for it.

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  25. What you’re talking about here is misandry, “man-hating.” It makes me sad and angry that people with loud voices distract from the real work of feminism, which is to call for and support the economic, social and legal equality of men and women. Millions of women around the world suffer abuse and debumanization every day. Feminism is supposed to be about addressing and correcting injustice, not kitschy t-shirts and hating on the dudes.

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  26. I agree totally, feminism gone too far, so far that now I’m seeing more and more men who can’t make the hard decisions, especially when disciplining their children. We are emasculating the male species and that is so wrong. Yes, it should be a partnership, one that encompasses both the male and female perspectives. I hate commercials in the media that portray men as idiots. Words are very powerful, the saying that sticks and stones break bones and that words will never break us, is a fallacy. Words can be so powerful that they can destroy or uplift. I’d like to think that we can be positive and uplift as many people as possible instead of bringing them down. Shame on the creators of such T_shirts who have no standards, no morals, no God in them, no idea as to how deep and far reaching their words can be. What kind of a society are we building? Say No to such rubbish!

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  27. A-men! Although I admit I’m a ‘Life is Good’ t-shirt wearing gal, but with things that remind me of the life I want to live. The kayak at sunset for happy hour, the flowers that show me life is colorful, things that are uplifting for me 🙂 But I did rant about this on FB on National Women’s Day. Why are angry feminists treating men as though they’re evil? Ever been loved by a man? He will bend over backwards for your happiness! He will be in awe of you and how you think of others and care for others. He will be so grateful to you for making him a better person. What these angry feminists need to understand is hate is weak, not strong. It takes a strong woman to have valuable relationships and also to value herself in all situations, and to learn how to advocate for herself. Women are awesome and to be celebrated, but never at the expense of men. Great post.

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  28. Very well-said, as usual. Your perception of the current climate is right on! Thank you for being willing to stand up as a voice of balance in a crazy world. Your words honor the Lord — and cherish both women AND men. M. A.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. One thing I’ve always noted was in the scripture it says, “Love your Wives as Christ so loved the church.” Interesting fact. Christ literally died for the church. So Husband should love their wives enough to sacrifice EVERYTHING for them. A man’s job is to make his wife feel secure, safe, and be the spiritual head of the household. Leading by example and showing himself as a GodFearing Godly man. We have different rolls to play in this world, but that’s why it says in Scripture to get married is to be of one body. Two halves being cleaved together.

    I loved this post.

    Liked by 2 people

  34. YES EXACTLY. I have always considered myself a feminist but I don’t fit in with the others due to feeling that equality means literally that. I don’t feel we need to rip men to shreads for being male nor be obscene. My college did The Vagina Monologue I remember. I refused to take part or go watch. I am feminist while married and feel my husband is my equal. Sure I cook but he cooks too. We split up who does what job in the house. This is feminism. Love love love this post.

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  35. One of the other reasons that your favorite verses from Colossians and 1 Peter get bad press is that they use *gasp* DIFFERENT words to describe the husband and wife roles toward one other. Translations vary but it’s usually something like women obey and men love. But as you said in your original post, men and women are different; thus the relational roles we take toward one another are different. And as thearrowpreacher commented about 6 hours ago, the two-street is a complementary picture of the mutual love of Christ & Church.

    But your mother’s line about spouses helping each other get to heaven is a good one; I should remember that. Thanks for sharing!

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  42. I LOVE everything about this post! Thank you for the reminder that we are made for MUCH more than being “nasty women” and that we are so precious in the eyes of our Creator. I really feel like Catholics are the original proponents of empowering women (Blessed Virgin Mary, pray for us!) and we need to reclaim authentic feminism. 🙂

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  43. I so agree with you. I have been saddened by the vitriol not only portrayed on shirts but also on blogs, FB, Twitter, Instagram, etc. It’s like everyone has decided they have a free pass to say and’or do whatever they want.
    Thanks for the post.
    Blessings~

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  44. Your words are so true. Strong message you have shared here. I have friends and cousins that just… well… have that type of clothing and believe in those statements, thereby attempting to live by those standards as well. I will be honest with you: The only shirts I ever have made are spiritual shirts such as a prayer from the bible whenever I have a chance to have one done. Again, very insightful message and I enjoyed it. 🙂

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  46. Marriage is for lunaticks. Battle of the sexes. Let the fight begin. Honestly, Beauty or Caralyn, whatever you call yourself and when, I think you started it. I think everybody’s following your example. The only way to tame a shrew is to give her too much to chew. Gossip, Rumors, Spite, and Brittle, All their hours filled with spittle. Names they mark, and names they name. Names to them are just a game. Bloggers are gossips, and gossips are bloggers. Now the world is filled with blogger blogger chitter chatter. Marks and tags and likes and stares. Everybody loves a gossip’s juicy wares. Just don’t become the topic of the gossip. Don’t become the topic of the gossip’s tongue. Like cows chewin cud, And we eat the meat cuz it tastes so good. We love the meat cuz it tastes so good. All we really want anymore is war, anyway. Don’t you agree? The poison is the cure. The difference is fear. Or am I wrong?

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  47. I remember when men respected women and women respected men. There was no feeling in my era and where I was brought up that one was superior to the other. We were just family and both the man and the woman loved and nurtured their children. We don’t live in that world today. Our country leaders on any continent are not role models and the life style they’ve demonstrated over the years has slowly destroyed the moral fabric of the West in particular. I understand your blog, unfortunately the downward spiral will continue until like ancient Rome democracy will be replaced by the dog eat dog take over of the powerful few with resources to enslave the rest and there will be no access to name shirts because we will all be scraping to survive and have no money for such nonsense.

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    1. Hey Ian, thanks for this reflection. I wish we could go back to the time of relationships with mutual respect. You’re so right – the society has become toxic in all realms. We’ve gotta spread the love. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  48. Hey there BBB, I enjoyed your post. My wife and I see eye-to-eye with you on treating each other with love, honor, and respect. Neither is called to lord authority over the other, but each to serve. So awesome to receive that encouragement from you today. Thanks.

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  49. Beautiful post! I see the ‘weird’ shirts with ‘demeaning slogans and still don’t get it. A strong woman would never call herself a b****h in the weird assumption she is being feminist. Thank you for this post. 😘

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  50. Thank you so much for giving words to the thoughts I’ve been having in the subject of feminism. You’re a gift ❤️

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