The Angry Feminist

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Warning: this post may be slightly unpopular.

You know what fashion trend I am completely over? Shirts with words on them.

You know what I’m talking about…they’ll have random words like, “How about Tacos” or “#squad” or something like “Laundry Day.” The whole I’m-really-trying-to-look-like-I’m-not-trying look. And listen buddy, you ain’t foolin’ anybody. Just take your poly/cotton blend attempt at irony back to the dumpster fire that is Forever 21 where it belongs.

Sheesh.

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But since I’ve been back in NYC, I’ve noticed the tone of these said “word shirts” have gotten…well…hostile.

And women, I’m looking at us.

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I’ve seen shirts with language such as “No Uterus, No Opinion,” “Not your P####,” “Feminist as F@%#,” “Who Runs the World? Girls,” “F#*%ing Nasty Woman,” and my personal favorite…”She’s Beauty, She’s Grace, She’ll Punch You in the Face.”

Frankly, I’m disgusted.

Listen, I am all for celebrating womanhood and the feminine genius – after all, we are the crown of creation and have so much to offer the world – but when did celebrating womanhood become about absolutely tearing down men?

There’s no excuse for belittling another human being just to elevate oneself. I mean, isn’t that exactly what you’re “fighting” to stop in the first place? Apparently it’s okay to reduce a man’s value and worth and intelligence because it’s in the name of feminism, right?

What message are we sending to children, when our clothing attacks men with profanity and language I certainly wouldn’t want my future children repeating?

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I mean, where’s the line?

And I get it…there are a lot of reasons, especially given recent history, for women to be up in arms. (I’m lookin’ at you, R. Kelly, Donald Trump, Jay Z). And those feelings are valid and important.

But for cryin’ out loud, can’t we take the high road?

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The truth is, men and women are different. We are each a unique reflection of our Maker, and are equal partners in life, in marriage, under the law, in the eyes of God.

But I’m tired of women putting men down just to advance the feminist agenda.

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One of my favorite verses on this is from Col 3:18-19, which gets a bad wrap. It’s all about a wife submitting to her husband. But what gets left out is where the husband gets that very same instruction! And it goes further in 1 Peter 3:7 to say that husbands should treat their wives “with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life.”

God wants men and women to be a team.

We are to build one another up.

We are to treat one another with respect and dignity – as equal partners.

One of the most powerful things my mom ever said to me was that when you get married, your number one job is to help get your spouse to Heaven.

It’s an equal partnership where the earthly and eternal wellbeing of the other becomes more important then your own.

That’s radical feminism.

That’s the male/female relationship we should strive for.

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I’m going to call it how I see it: this new wave of profane feminism isn’t feminism…it’s bullying. 

And you know what? It needs to stop.

By acting out with such base and vile behavior and language, we’re just as bad as the “mysogyny” we’re fighting against.

It’s the epitome of hypocritical, and honestly, it’s just in bad taste.

I’m just going to leave you with this…you attract more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

And maybe, if we hold ourselves to the standards of virtue and grace, and humility and honor, then men will take a page from our book, and that respect we’re demanding will be voluntarily given.

So please, enough with the aggression. It doesn’t look good on you, sweetheart.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

553 thoughts on “The Angry Feminist”

  2. It is true we are equal buh God gave one the position of leadership…I think that marks a difference. We are equal buh different. Please, tell them beautybeyondbones. Keep flying…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A big problem with change is violent ideologies. My mother, right, she used to say if I ever married a white woman. She’d never speak to me again. She transferred the pain of being Native maybe like women do with feminism. I bring up race because the feminist fight appears as racism in its more violent forms.

    I’m unsure how a safe dialogue is formed especially, on the internet when everyone is screaming for attention.

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      1. All the ‘isms and ‘ists really point towards an unequal America. I think once that’s understood real change will occur. When the tribalism takes shape as an active voice for positive and lasting change. This, inequality was what created what we have now. If, we were responsible citizens we would not have reality TV and the face of media would change.

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      3. Let’s look to Margaret Mead to sum this up she said, “Always remember that you absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.”

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      5. Ok. One more. My friend was working on the iZombie show. I just started drawing again and drew this fifties housewife and her caption was “God loves you but, he’s had better.” I sent it to my friend and he made me a t-shirt with it. I don’t know. It was my bad art for the moment. Lol

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  4. Feminists are angry, feminists are bullies. They are activists for a cause which goes in the tradition of “a tooth for a tooth”. A wise woman knows better. They say women will save the world. Yeah, but not the feminist kind. Very glad you’re standing up on this issue. I thought you would. Go make some more waves, you have the followers to spread the good news.

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  6. I think you have hit the nail on the head. Bullying is bullying. It’s the emotion that matters, not the rationalization. On the other hand, women have been squelched for a long, long time and maybe the current reaction against men is part of the long evolutionary process. As always, enjoy your writing. Nice to see your “scholarly” side in the photo. 😉 It’s a good look for you.

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  7. Wow. Truth be told, I’m always a little wary when it comes to political stances or anything related to the sort, but I gave your piece a read and I have to say it was pleasantly surprising. As a man, I think all women should read your post!

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    1. Thanks again! Same here, I usually shy away from anything political or fiercely polarizing. But I saw one of those shirts and there were kids around and I just had to write about it. Thanks for the support! Hugs and love xox

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  8. What would be really cool is if we were to stop Fighting for our rights and begin Working toward our goals in a more peaceful, loving fashion. Just because the current political climate is pretty hideous doesn’t mean we have to go along and make it worse. The America in which I grew up was far different. I’m hoping the pendulum has swung as far as it can go in this direction. I Believe better times are ahead!

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  9. Society has gone to a strange place. Unlike anything I’ve seen in my lifetime. A house divided against itself… The Liberal Left really doesn’t have a platform of their own, per se, at least a positive and constructive one, so they’ve built a make-shift platform of tearing others down. Isn’t that always the way of it—that the people with the least to say always seem to say the most, the loudest? ~ What you’ve said needs to be said. As a guy, I appreciate it. As a proud American, I appreciate it. Thank you.

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  17. Well said, BBB! I could probably give a good rant about this topic since I share your sentiments, but I think I’d rather spare you and the comments section instead lol But, yes, men and women need each other. Period. It’s the way God designed it to be. Men and women bring the best out of each other, and complement one another. Therefore, we should be celebrating each other’s strengths and unique God-given gifts, not demoralizing or tearing each other down.

    Anyway, good post, BBB. Keep up the good work! God bless!

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  18. I was hesitant to read this for many reasons, first I’m writing my dissertation and it happens to be about feminism and two, I have most don’t really know what feminism actually is. So I will make comment with this and hope it’s able to be viewed:

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  19. Bravo — this is fantastic! I have many friends who claim to be feminists, and sometimes I do feel they celebrate this aggression. And it’s simply not cool. Men and women were designed to be Ying and Yang, and I totally agree that feminism seems to be missing that. I’m totally sharing this, there are many people in my life that I think would benefit from seeing this!!

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  24. It’s exciting how many people show to say they have the same position as you. Clear where you are on the issue. How terrific that you have a deft point of view and it resonates!

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  26. This is an outstanding article. Being a man the one thing that causes failure today in the male/female relationship is showing the LOVE of God to each other.
    John 13:34-35 (NASB)
    34 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 “By this all men will know that you are My disciples if you have love for one another.”

    Like

  28. As a feminist, and a bloke, I do agree there is an era of BuzzFeed styled new wave feminism which is often belligerent, hypocritical, and consequently more counterproductive than anything else. It’s turned into rampant hatred and prejudice (the very things feminism first tried to stamp out), although I do think a lot of men behave themselves disgracefully (online and offline), which confuses the matter further. It startles me how often people forget decent behaviour – I’m not religious, but a little bit of effort is all it takes to treat people in a courteous manner. It’s really not very difficult.

    If you read Simone de Beauvoir’s the Second Sex, trailblazing feminist that she was, she called out this inter-gender bickering from her era as pointless. Seems like many haven’t learned from this, unfortunately.

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  29. “There’s no excuse for belittling another human being just to elevate oneself. I mean, isn’t that exactly what you’re “fighting” to stop in the first place?”
    Wow, you have hit the nail on the head in this quote & your entire post! It reminds me of Mother Teresa’s wisdom about “fighting for peace”:
    [“I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.”]
    This is such a timely & much needed message. It takes loving courage to be willing to speak to the hearts & minds of women and do so with conviction, compassion, and purpose. Keep shining! 🙂

    Like

  30. As a woman executive in corporate America, I totally agree with this post! Feminism confuses me. We want to show that we can stand on our own, and yet demand that we be treated differently.

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  31. Hi Caralyn, I agree with you. Your perspective should be the basic the common ground of understanding for further efforts of true humanity: equal team/partnering in duty n wellness, ethos, ethics, respect, n honor. Agreeing that your perspective is a solid foundation to where we should go.

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  32. Finally someone said it out loud!! I completely agree with you! I want to consider myself a feminist because I do fight for equal rights between genders, but there are just certain types of feminists that took it to a whole new level that makes me not want to admit my stance on the issue. They are making all of us females look bad to be completely honest. Thank you for addressing this frustrating issue!

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  33. This is one of the best posts I have read on a topic which can divide rather than unite. After all its all about love and understanding…..respect for one another!

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  34. Amazing post BBB !! I totally agree with you
    It’s such an irony that we women have confused this so called ‘new feminism’ with the real feminism.Real feminism is about having equal rights and being treated equally yet we ourselves take it for granted.We want to be seen and treated as equals but ridicule and bring every man under this so called feminism then rant when we’re not treated right by them.Why would a man treat someone who does not give respect with respect ?So isn’t this like a never ending cycle?

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  35. I agree. MLK, Rosa Parks, Corrie ten Boom, English Suffragettes, The Silent March…there are many examples of effective, nonviolent change from history. I do understand that part of the hostility and frustration comes from the fact that the white privileged patriarch continues to hold the majority of social and economic power. It’s tiring to live within a paradigm that essentially refuses to budge. But, in my experience people are more willing to listen and consider an idea when I am not screaming in their face about my hoo. Instead I scream in my car, like a respectable person. 😉

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    1. Thanks for this E. You’re right, they’re all examples of positive forces for change. hahaha, in your car like a respectable person — that made me laugh. Does rocking out to old school Spice Girls in my car count? hah Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Amen. I used to say “men are chumps lol” but I realize not all men are. We need to reach out to eachother and build eachother up.

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  39. Thank you for posting this! As a male, I’ve identified as a first-wave feminist, but I’m quite taken aback by how modern feminism has evolved into straight-up hostility and belittling of men. I’m happy to hear a woman is speaking up about this particular subject!

    I’ve heard of this documentary that’s causing quite the stir. I haven’t seen it yet, but I’d like to watch it soon:

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  40. next time I meet a feminist spreading hate for men, I am going to show her this article written by a woman. ✌ and please work on making this site lighter it works really slow.

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  42. I totally agree!! Some are just downright mean. What these angry feminists don’t realize is that their over-expression of emotion just makes them look irrational, which totally defeats their purpose. I’m with you, celebrating feminine genius👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼, and I think our greatest strength and strategy is to be, above all, rational. Anger only leads to implosion and self-destruction ❤️❤️👍🏼

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  43. I’m hit. Which is funny, because I agree with the sentiment. But honestly, I think I’ve got to watch my mouth & opinions just as much. Profanity & overt tearing down of men is not a problem for me. But what your Mom said about trying to get your spouse to Heaven. I’ve never heard that before, and I really needed that right now. Just because I’m marrying a Christian, doesn’t mean he’s perfect. And unfortunately with a wedding a week away, I haven’t exactly shown him my patient side, or even what a godly woman should be. I’ve been so careful with everyone around me from family members to overly helpful church members that he only gets the frustration that’s leftover. Pretty sure that is NOT the way to begin a marriage…but I have a week to make some changes in my attitude…Thanks for sharing, Caralyn. It means a lot.
    Shalom!
    Yael Eliyahu

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      1. You bet! You’ll have to thank her for me. 🙂 Thanks! Most days it’s an eager countdown to look forward to…just some days are discouraging working with two very different families & mindsets. Something to keep in mind as you prepare for your future relationship. 😉 Start praying now….it takes a lot of the holy spirit to survive the ordeal.
        Hugs & love ❤

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  46. Hi BBB,

    Have you felt the dividing and separating of men, women, families, etc? The Devil is trying to divide and conquer. Lord, help us to stay I united and it will be a fight, but on His strength.

    In Christ,

    Gary

    On Mon, Jul 31, 2017 at 3:59 PM BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Warning: this post may be slightly unpopular. > You know what fashion trend I am completely over? Shirts with words on > them. You know what I’m talking about…they’ll have random words like, > “How about Tacos” or “#squad” or something like “Laundry Day.” T” >

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  47. Amen, sister! I’m all for the cute shirts with quotes and stuff or the ones that have jokes on them, but a shirt that says something mean/nasty? nuh-uh. I also don’t like what Snickers has been doing with their candy bar wrappers… but I have a blog post about that so I’m not gonna elaborate on it here. 😛

    Keep doin’ what you’re doin’. 🙂 God bless!

    EDG

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  48. Life is a Journey from the Womb to the Tomb and surely we belong to GOD and to Him is the final return:
    [ Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, ‘To God we belong, and to Him we will return.’] [ The Quran 2:156 ]
    [ Say: “Shall we inform you of the greatest losers” [They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in work ” ]
    [ The Quran 18: 103-104 ]
    Thank you.

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      1. Please, I need some help with regards to my blog. Please, give me your contact so we can talk better.

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  50. Very interesting post and no definitely no dislike to your post. More power to you for expressing your views. I think saying anything like this gets disliked as there are some people that don’t agree will attack you for having views like that and make it seem as if you arent supposed to support the men and that you make women look bad, when infact they manage to do that all on their own. Yep let’s all try to be abit nicer and stay nicer and be an example xx

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