Where are the Young People?

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Since being back in NYC, for the last week and a half, I have gone to a different church every day for Daily Mass.

And as much as I wish I could say I was 100% going for faith and spiritual purposes, I would be lying if I didn’t say that 62% of my reason for attendance was because I am…#HusbandHunting.

Some women lunch down on Wall Street in the hopes of meeting Mr. Right. Some women attend daily mass. Po-ta-to, Po-tah-to.

Don’t judge me, but I go full hair and makeup in the hopes of fortuitously bumping into the future Mr. BBB. Not that I don’t trust God’s plan and timing, but let’s just say…I’m giving Him a little help. Trying to speed up the process, if you will.

But it’s actually been a really interesting exercise to go to all these different churches in all these different neighborhood around the city.

I’ve been in, of course, St. Patrick’s cathedral, where I was dodging tourists taking photos on their iPads.

 

I’ve been in sleepy chapels with only 3 other people. I’ve been in Spanish speaking masses where they sell homemade empanadas outside on the sidewalk afterwards. Even one where the song books were written in Chinese! (I wish I would have taken a picture!) Uptown. Downtown. Midtown. Brooklyn.

And no matter where I went, there was one, glaringly obvious similarity…

There were no young people.

Nope. Not a single under-30 to be found. With the exception of one couple I saw that were  clearly in a relationship, all the other people in the pews were either geriatric, or recipients of AARP magazine. (And no offense to either of these wonderful groups of people. I love ya, but this girl’s lookin’ for a husband, here!)

But after the end of the second week of, again, being the youngest in the room by an easy 20 years, I was feeling very discouraged. I sat there in the pew, looking up at the crucifix and seeing Jesus literally hanging there, it made me really sad to think that here’s this incredible gift that He gave us, and nobody flippin’ cares.

The pews were empty.

And listen, I’m not some holier-than-thou exemption either. Sitting there in my high heels and lipstick, my attendance clearly had ulterior motives.

But the emptiness was definitely alarming.

And I get it, just because you don’t go to church doesn’t mean you don’t love Jesus. That’s not my point here either. But it just saddened me to see church attendance literally on life support.

Is this it? Have we finally reached that moment where Christianity has become obsolete, minus a handful of out-of-touch “bible bangers” who don’t know the difference between Kanye and Kenya?

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Have we finally reached the moment where Christianity has become irrelevant?

The answer: Faith is needed now more than ever.

Yeah, sure, it may be more interesting to sit around on our iPhones and read about the latest sexual abuse allegation on Twitter. Or watch Instagram Stories from your friends, or scrutinize Kylie Jenner’s snapchats and whether or not she has a baby bump.

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Sure. Those things are definitely technological luxuries of the time, but the fact is, we need to pray for this broken world.

We need to pray for those empty seats.

We need to ask Jesus to help those who are hurting and to move in the hearts of those who could be filling those empty pews.

But here’s the truth of the matter: we need to be Jesus’ hands and feet here on Earth.

And that doesn’t necessarily mean going out and evangelizing on the street corners and handing out your church’s business cards at the water cooler. Although, that would be great if you did.

It starts in the way you treat people.

Are we living with compassion and empathy? Are we creating a welcoming environment for those who may be at church for the first time?

Are we making faith attractive, or is it more of an exclusive club with lofty prerequisites and impossible standards.

If we want those seats to be full, we need to make it a place people want to be.

I’ll be going to mass here again in a little while. And tonight, I’ll be praying for those empty seats. For the conversion of hearts. For the hurting in our world.

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May I be a source of hope in this dark world. May I make His gospel seem inviting.

And may I find a freakin’ husband.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

387 thoughts on “Where are the Young People?”

  2. Outstanding post Caralyn! Thank you for this. I especially love the question of how are we living. BTW I don’t know anything about them, but I’ve heard of on line dating services, Christian ones, and a Catholic one too! Praying for you.

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    1. Thank you so much! Yeah we’ve got to be His little worker bees down here 🙂 and thanks for that great idea! Hugs and love xox

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  4. While I agree that empty pees are an issue faith is in a persons heart not where they sit. So what’s needed is a way for them to hear the gospel outside of church proper. Now there is a ministry for some talented creative young lady I am aware of. Good blog though always enjoy John

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    1. That’s such a great point John. Faith lives in the hearts. Haha oh gosh you’re too kind 🙂 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  6. Great post! The devil has done its job of keeping His people out of the faith whether Catholic or Protestant. I really hope He will bring your husband to you. Christianity will never be obsolete in my view but in due time, the devil will be. 👍🏻✝️✡️

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  7. “And may I find a freakin’ husband!” 🤣🤣 Im in the same boat girlfriend! Turned 30 this year and sometimes wonder where are the good, single, Christian men in this world? They can’t ALL be married!!!! Haha!

    Your posts are inspiring and always relevant! You inspire me to want to write better, and figure out ways to be more relatable and relevant in this scary, toxic world. You are beautiful and loved!!!!!!

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    1. Haha thanks friend. I know right?! They can’t all be married!! Hahahha thanks for your kind words! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hey JP! Thanks for this encouragement. Yeah I️ need to do some more research. They’re out there I️ just know it! Hugs and love xox

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  10. A long time ago there was a book (and movie) entitled Looking for Mr, Goodbar. The book was about a good Catholic girl who frequented discos and single bars looking for excitement. Instead of Looking for Mr. Good Church, perhaps you should find a church the speaks to your needs and get involved. Mr. Good Church may not attend mass daily but may be actively involved with a youth ministry or the finance committee or the Knights. You do, however, make an excellent point: why are our churches filled with people cramming for finals?

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    1. Hey friend! Thanks for this encouragement. Sounds like a really interesting story! and I thought Mr. good bar was just a candy bar!!Hugs and love xox

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  11. First, “Not that I don’t trust God’s plan and timing, but let’s just say…I’m giving Him a little help.” You do know the story of the flood and the man on the roof, right?

    Next, I don’t know what it’s like in NYC, but here the daily masses occur when I’m at work. Several of the churches here offer singles nights. They’re not masses but gatherings for other Catholics, light food, music, and a chance to meet other singles. If you don’t find one, maybe start one?

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    1. Hi friend! Thank you for this thoughtful response. That’s a really great point. The masses are actually after work at five or 530 but still. That is actually what my dad told me about most young guys being at work! But great idea on the singles night! Will look into that! Hugs and love XOXO

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  12. I really feel that this issue is unfortunately somewhat about denomination. Catholicism is something I’ve seen a lot of “young people” subscribe to. But most of the time those people I’ve seen do not attend church at all (kudos to you for attending!).
    The same with Southern Baptists. My family is Southern Baptist and I have visited their old church (even though I am Nondenominational and am a member of a Nondenominational church). Every baptist church I’ve been to has a huge attendance gap between the teens and the 40+ year olds. No young adults at all. And I live in Louisiana, THE BIBLE BELT.
    I think that some churches and/or denominations don’t do a great job of helping young people understand the need for God AND the need for the family of brothers and sisters that we get from attending a church.
    The church I am a member of is very in love with God but also has a wide range of ages and races that attend. It’s one of only two churches in our area that are like that. It is very ALIVE and unashamed of the gospel! We love it! I pray you get connected to that kind of community!

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    1. Hi Caitlin! Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I’m so glad that you found a church that works for you! I think you’re right about all faiths having somewhat of a lag and young adult attendance. I will just have to keep looking! And thank you for your prayers you’re awesome! Hugs and love XOXO

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  15. My Dear BBB, This is a wonderful post and I agree with all except your “needing” to search for a husband. I am not being unkind here. However, I am a member of AARP and maybe you would consider me a geriatric !! I am speaking to you from my heart with love; and a bit of wisdom.

    I remember the days many years ago where I was in the “needy” place and desperately wanted a man in my life. I got one who wanted everything his way, was kind of controlling and ended up 5 years later having an affair with the neighbor across the street. We divorced.

    Eventually I decided to move to Ireland for a couple years to have the experience of living abroad in a different culture. After several months I met an Irishman and we dated awhile. He said I was the one he was looking for. We got married. Long story, but after 12 years (the last 9 or 10 only living together, no real communication) and I realized he was seeing someone else! It was time to move on. As there was no divorce in Ireland, I returned to the US and got the divorce here.

    I finally found myself and the comfort and joy and peace within myself. Early on when I would go out with friends I would see older women in bars/pubs who were so obviously looking for a man. You could feel the neediness in them.

    On the spiritual side, how many times do we say we believe in God, we ask him for what we want, but when we don’t get it in OUR time frame we start trying to “help it along” as if God needs help!!! When we do that we may get what we “think” we want, but then it doesn’t turn out so well. Only when we totally surrender our lives to Him, loving Him knowing that He loves us more than anyone else can and in HIS TIME we will have his very BEST for us.

    So BBB, trust Him and know He will send the Best man for you. It may not be in church, it could be anywhere. Wherever it will be, it will be when you least expect it.

    I pray God’s special blessings, with love and a hug.

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    1. Hi Ann, thank you so much for this thoughtful and honest encouragement. I️ hope you didn’t take offense at my playful remarks…they were all in good fun. In fact, the best people I️ know are all AARP members 🙂 thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through those things. You’re so right – we can trust Him becaus eHe has the best plan. Thank you for your prayers. Sending big hugs xox

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      1. Heavens no I take no offense by your remarks re AARP and geriatrics 🙂 I may be older than 50, but I don’t feel like it nor think of myself as older 🙂
        Don’t feel sorry for me having gone through tough times in my life because they have made me stronger and who I am today. I am very blessed.

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  17. From my experience they’re plenty of young Christians out there, it’s just some aren’t going to Church, especially the denominational churches. Here in Annapolis, MD the Non-Denominational Churches have a lot young crowds but the denominational churches I’ve attended have maybe 1 or two couples of young people. One church the youngest man there was in his 50’s!

    Many Churches want to blame the younger Generation but interestingly in a survey the # 1 thing young Christians want in a church is for it to resemble Jesus’ teaching. So if that’s the reason and they aren’t coming to churches, it might be time for self-reflection for some of the older churches.

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    1. Thanks so much for this thoughtful response. That a really powerful perspective. Perhaps some self reflection indeed. Hugs and love xox

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  18. Our society is so fragmented and the younger generation feels they don’t need God. Sad.
    I agree with your blog 100%! Geeeee, I think I’ll try a church for a potential hubby. 🙂 Good post.

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  19. Remember, you are a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster in a parking lot full of Kias. Like the other person says, you won’t be out there too long. This is just another test. You’ll pass it just fine. If you were to see yourself as the world, specifically men, see you – you’d be downright cocky about it. You are doing THEM the favor. Believe me. Right now, as I write this there’s some poor guy who is perfect for you sitting there thinking “where is she?” – No worries, God will put you two together. But hang in and pass the test. I know you will.
    XOXO

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    1. Hi Roland! Haha oh my gosh this made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the encouragement. I’m praying for that guy tonight. So is my mom. Hahah 🚘🚘🚘 Hugs and love xox

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  20. Hopefully, this won’t offend anyone but the heavy-handed “make you feel guilty and give us money to repent” approach most churches use may have caught up with them. The older folk who were brought up that way may still buy it, but manyvinsubsequent generations including my own (I’m 46) have not. Good luck! I’m sure everything will turn out fine.

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    1. Thanks for this thoughtful response. That’s definitely something to think about. Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  22. Feeling your pain, girl. I had a hard time finding someone back in the 90s, and there are way less Christians in your generation. I don’t know how exclusively catholic you are, but if you’re not, I know Tim Keller’s presbyterian churches in NYC have tons of young people. He targets them. Bless your search. Don’t settle! Wait for someone who really loves God.

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    1. Hi Colleen! thank you so much for your encouragement. oh that’s a great tip. thank you! i’ll have to check it out 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  23. I met my wife on a church retreat. We were on opposite euchre teams and we were very competitive. I wasn’t looking for a relationship – having come off obe where I was just burned. Just was looking for a good time. I didn’t pay that much attention to her rest of retreat – not more than snyone else anyway. An innocent phone call a couple days after retreat turned into a 4 hour phone conversation, a series of consecutive dates – Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Easter vigil masses together cemented the growing bond. We are 6 months shy of 20 years anniversary of that retreat – yet feels like yesterday too. Do they play euchre in Ohio? I know its definitely a Michigan game. Being a NYer growing up playing italian cards with grandpa, I quickly picked up on the game that retreat weekend. So I’m thankful to the Lord for bringing us together in faith that weekend, and to my grandpa for training me at playing card games.

    Let it come naturally. Show your true self and not a false front. The old geezers st the churches you visited are noticing the pretty young lady and telling their grandsons they should go to church with them.

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    1. Hi Joe! thank you so much for sharing your story! what a beautiful love story you have with your wife! and wow – 20 years! that’s awesome. congratulations! thanks for the great advice 🙂 i’ll definitely have to keep an eye out for a good retreat! Hugs and love xox

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  24. I’m guilty of not going to church, well I’m 37… don’t know if that counts as young, but it’s mostly due to working in retail and having to work Sunday mornings but for me anyway church isn’t my thing..
    Every once in a while I’ll go though. I don’t want it to be forced either.

    Anyway you’ll find someone when the time is right. Patience is key and you don’t want to rush things as well. It’s not like picking out a car and 5 years later you want to trade it in to get a different one because it wasn’t what you really wanted.

    Good luck though in your search for someone.

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    1. hi friend, thank you so much for this encouragment! you’re so right – it’s a life long thing…dont want to rush anything. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  25. Ahh, it’s so true… millennials are not going to church! I’ll tell you my story with.finding a Catholic husband. I had just gotten over a really bad breakup, one where I was left not really loving myself. During my mourning period, I read Left to Tell by Immaculée Ilibagiza. If you haven’t read it, it is an amazing book and I wont’ ruin it for you, but she talks about how since she had trusted in God to help her hide from people trying to kill her, she was like – why not… let me ask God for a husband? And she she starts to pray for specific characteristics she wanted in a husband, and she ended up getting in a husband exactly what she asked for. I found it so inspiring that I thought, let me try this.. let me put this in God’s hands and do exactly what Immaculée did. I prayed, asked for specific characteristics, and I think this is key – found myself trusting it would happen because… ask and you shall receive right? I met my future husband a few months down the road, and we’ve been married for 7 years (together for 10).

    Sorry, that was a little long, but read the book if you haven’t.. and I’m proof that praying to God for a husband does work. Just you wait, he’s got a perfect one lined up for you 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for this kind response. i’ll have to check out that book! thanks for the recco…it sounds really powerful. And congrats on seven years! thats so awesome! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  26. Do you have a Harvest Church near you? If you listen to Christian radio, James MacDonald of Walk in the Word, is the founder of the Harvest Churches. They are really dynamic and stick to the word of God. I know they are all over the Country. Millennials are flocking to these Churches because they are preaching God’s word, unashamedly and their music appeals to this group too. Most Harvest Bible Church’s have college aged ministries and small group ministries too. Just thought I’d add my two cents. 😉 I pray you find a good man who loves God and knows how to love a woman.

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    1. Hi Susan! you know, I don’t know? I’ll have to check it out. Thanks for the recco! and thank you for your prayers 🙂 big hugs x

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  27. Husbands are cool. I was attending a church for a few weeks and got a marriage proposal. I declined. She is a dentist in Salt Lake if anyone else is interested.

    When I read this. I totally forgot that happened. I initially thought, there’s no single people in church? Somehow. I guess only married people feel guilty. Families. Widows.

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      3. Eh. Haha. You’re cute. It’s super easy for you. I’m 36 and, not. I should just get a basset hound and learn guitar. Sit on the porch and watch life go by. 😂

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      4. hahaha oh gosh. i think you’d definitely pick up some passers by with that guitar! haha Hugs and love xox

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      5. You ever notice that? Communion allows our souls to show but love, requires the song and dance. Hence. The absence of younger people in church. It’s too real. You are always yourself but in youth, it is better to be someone else. This someone else, spends that youth trying to find themselves. We have that flaw for seeking comfort. The uptick in narcissism is blamed on millennials but the majority of excess spending is done by baby boomers and millennials. Both seem to have that knack for buying specialness. I’m kind of happy that those that arrive at church are not this way. Sure? The financial support may be missing but the moral support is not, faked.

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      7. You’re welcome. We have excellent conversations. I found out where duck face comes from and, it’s not ducks. 😳 Ugh. Maybe. One day I’ll learn to smile and agree with all these trends. 😂

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  28. Hmmm…I totally relate, as a young Catholic myself in NYC.

    With me it was not so much Daily Mass (because my work schedule doesn’t allow for that) but more just finding a community of young adults. Not for the sake of finding “the one” even if I’m still single, but for the sake of just having a community of people of the same faith at the same stage of life in the same city!!!

    That stuff can be found, including in Catholic circles. But you/I/we just need to look in the right places.

    One thing I found was this resource: http://catholicnyc.com/young-adult-groups/. This resource was helpful in helping me find a Young Adults Group near where I work in Lower Manhattan. I don’t know if a young adult group is something you want or even something you’ve thought about, but if that interests you the link I provided may be a good place to start.

    I also recommend Catholic NYC, which is without a doubt geared towards Catholic Young Adults in New York. I can’t speak to the quality of the Catholic NYC App as I’m not really into adding apps on my phone, but I subscribe to their e-mails and they help keep me really updated on what’s going on!!! Here is Catholic NYC: http://catholicnyc.com/

    I know I just dumped a ton of information on you! But hopefully some of this will be helpful as you go through the same struggle I went through, in finding a community of young adults of the same faith in the same city.

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    1. Hi Brenden, thank you so much for this incredible response! this is so helpful! i can’t wait to download the app! big hugs xox

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      3. Also, one other thing I should add. If you’re looking for Masses with young adults at them, you’ll find lots of them at the monthly Young Adult Masses at St. Patrick’s Cathedral!!! Here’s the link for the Facebook event for the Mass next month. Still not once a day…but seeing lots of young adults of faith once a month is still waaaaay better than never!!! https://www.facebook.com/events/180787699164875/

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  29. While Jesus telling me to, and then making it happen, was the leading reason for me to move to Redding, a practical reason was the same as your 62%! After 28 years of failing to find her in Eugene-field, my wife was obviously not there! Maybe here.

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  30. I think it is somewhat of a denomination problem, Catholicism just isn’t very appealing to most people our age (25 for me). Most of the Catholics I know don’t attend church at all.
    I’m just a plain Protestant. But we do still struggle to bring in people who aren’t 40+. Last Sunday we had four people under 40, two of those were the pastor’s sons.
    I think it’s a problem of message. The world has become very good at their propaganda against Christianity. This world is looking for love, and the world has convinced them that God isn’t love, so they don’t bother looking towards God.
    Also, the church needs to be the church. Many of the younger people only see people attending church on Sunday and that’s it. We’re called to get out there, to do good works and be fruitful. I’m guilty of being part of this problem, I wasn’t fruitful for a long time and with God’s help I’m finally starting to fix that. I’m not saying works will save us, grace is the only thing that saves us, but we need to be fruitful. we need to be that shining city on a hill.
    I think piece by piece we can begin to change that through prayer/faith/being willing to do His will, but it’s gonna be a long process and it’s gotta be done one person at a time most of the time.

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    1. This is such a powerful reflection. thank you so much Pierce. Amen to that – grace is the ONLY thing that saves us. Hugs and love xox

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  31. You know I love you and pull no punches. Why are you so obsessed with finding a husband? You are sounding needy, which is not like you. Don’t make it a hunt, let it happen on its own, because it will. As far as empty pews go, all the different religious sectors have done a lousy job in attracting young people. They have not made themselves relevant to that age group. It’s not Satan who is keeping people away from churches, it’s the churches themselves. The Baptists recently voted out one if their oldest churches because that church hired a female pastor. Until all churches and religious sectors realize their old rigid rules don’t work for today, attendance will continue to drop. By the way, my son is 42 and a bachelor. Interested? Hugs & Love, xoxo ❤

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    2. With female pastors, what about 1Timothy2:12?
      Honest question. There’s a lot of pressure on the churches to change lots of things nowadays, but truth can not be changed and for the church to change things we know to be truth would be denying God.

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      2. That’s not what I said Walt.
        I asked what about that verse regarding women teaching men.
        I said there are some things that we regard as truth that cannot be changed, I didn’t specify women not being pastors as one of those truths. One of the truths that cannot be changed would be Jesus being the only Way, for example. I honestly don’t know about female pastors, I haven’t done much study about it.

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  32. I just lost two paragraphs of my comments which tells this 55yo, I’d probably better just get to the gist of my thoughts. “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22) Note: HE WILL FIND YOU right in the midst of your everyday life and activities … but don’t rush the preparation God is doing in both of you because it seldom works out well.

    A thought to consider also: your strong desire for a mate can blind you to very important characteristics that are hard to see when you are most likely working from your own mental checklist. RELAX–MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW–[Once again, in my church voice: Hope deferred maketh the heart sick: but when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)] Trust me when I tell you that pursuing your dreams are part of the process of building your character so that you are attractive to your God-selected husband on a level deeper than your outer adornments and beauty.

    BOTTOM LINE: God doesn’t need your help — you’ll only get in His way!

    On the other note – PRAY TO BE LED TO A CHURCH WHERE YOU CAN LEARN and FELLOWSHIP … not shop for a mate. Without getting too preachy, the best person to encourage a young person to attend church is ANOTHER YOUNG PERSON WHO IS ATTENDING CHURCH! Find a “church home” and mingle and learn. I attend a baptist church with a mixed congregation and we older folks have learned to seek the counsel of the younger ones in developing and planning social events specific to their age and interests. Learning to communicate across the multiple generations has been a lesson that has been beneficial and we are learning about each other’s hierarchy of need and how they differ from one generation to the next.

    IN THE END — God is working his plan and the last thing he wants, and the last thing you need, is anyone or anything getting in the way of God’s perfect plan for BBB – because God’s Word is true–you just have trust God’s process:

    Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV) – “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.”

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    1. Hi Ms. Wanda, wow, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. i’m sorry you lost 2 paragraphs! you’re so right, I think I’m only getting in God’s way! i need to just let go of trying to control everything! Hugs and love xox

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  33. Appreciate your perspective on the emptiness of the pews. There is certainly a growing exodus from the church as a whole, but let me give you some encouragement as a pastor who has been in the middle of helping Millennials find faith in what seems like a desolate landscape.
    The truth is that church is going through a revolution and the mainstream approach of going, sitting, receiving, leaving, and repeat is leading to beautiful, historic sanctuaries looking emptier and emptier. Growing and thriving churches, particularly the ones you are looking for with a community of young adults (and Christ-focused men) are active in their communities, filled with life-group models, exploring contemporary worship, and opening up to the supernatural portions of scripture we see in the New Testament. I coach a lot of Millennials who are in faith crisis, not because they doubt God, but because they long for a community they can relate to. So, don’t lose heart, and don’t allow Satan to convince you there is a faith crisis; there is a faith revolution happening that is advancing the Kingdom in new and exciting ways. As your steps align with his heart, your heart will discover all it longs for.

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    1. thanks Brandon. this is such a powerful perspective. you’e right – i need to work to align my heart with his. sounds like you’ve got an awesome ministry!! will definitely keep you and it in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

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  34. First of all, good for you for looking in the right place for your future hubby. Have you ever considered looking outside of the Catholic Church? Just curious. I’m part of a Pentecostal Church myself. Secondly and I know that you know this, but God has his own timing. He knows what you need and when you need it. Don’t rush Him. You’ll have a wonderful young man on your arm when He wants him there and you’ll feel right about it. You may not have been forthright about this but I’m surprised that you don’t have a long line of young men with long stemmed roses banging on your door wanting a date with you. What do I know, maybe you do.

    Your special, Caralyn, and God’s princess deserves His best.

    KEEP THE LIGHT ON!

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    1. oh my gosh what a kind thing to say. thank you so much friend. you’re so right – I have to trust His timing. big hugs xox

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      1. I truly mean what I said. You are beautiful. I know that you have been thru a lot and it was a horrific trial and you have mentioned that you have trouble loving yourself. Please read Ephesians 1 and 2 and ask Holy Spirit to show you who you are. I posted recently, a list of everything that we are in Christ, found in those two chapters. There’s others verses to, like 2 Corinthians 5:17, 21 and many more that tell us who we are. God wants you to see, I want you to see, that you are beautiful.
        Bless you sister!
        KEEP THE LIGHT ON!

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  35. Hello Lovely BBB! You have a great site and I love your book! Try and make it to Times Square Church, 51 Street & Broadway. Been going there 22 years, was praying for a husband too. Met him sitting behind me one day! TSC is a big urban international church, with a heart to know & serve God. Fix your eyes on Jesus our Good Shepherd…and He will bring the right sheep your way! 💖

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    1. Hi Lisa Beth, thank you so much for your kind words! I’ll definitely have to check that church out! and what an awesome story of how you met your husband! God is good! Hugs and love xox

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  36. Hello Caralyn. There are devil’s in church looking for angels and there are angels attending church looking for prince charmin. Remember Boaz found Ruth working in the field that he owned. He found her. Now she owns the field where she use to work. I advise you to trust God to make the right connection for you. No one knows whose rib you are better than God. Keep God first in all that you do. *Hold on to this Scripture, Romans 8:28 and wait patiently dear.

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    1. Hi Jeanie! thank you so much for this powerful response. you’re so right – God will make the right connect happen when it’s supposed to. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  37. So, may I offer some slight insight, before I comment?

    I’m not so sure the under 30 crowd will be attending mass on weekdays too often, since most of them are likely involved in careers….so, maybe a small piece of good news there, huh? Are there Catholic events in your area? I know my archdiocese has a series called “Theology on Tap” where local priests will meet people at a pub and speak about theological matters in an open format… Anyways, just an idea.

    Unfortunately, there is a general trend – and the rate is rapidly increasing – of people leaving organized religion. I’ve seen it in members of my own family, unfortunately. I don’t believe there is a direct way to counter it, other than to ‘represent’, if you know what I mean. I also think our society has become more self-centered which is a tough thing to overcome, but I still think we need to be an example and demonstrate true human compassion without offering an “education of faith” in any formally forced way- only our actions can be the example, I think.

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re right – that was what my dad said too. that even though the mass is technically after the work day at 5 or 5:15, that most will be at work or commuting. Yes! I have heart of TOT – never been though. maybe I’ll have to check it out. thanks again! Hugs and love xox

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    2. I know you didn’t mean that, but wanted to add it just in case it might be a light bulb for someone else. Like most people I have never liked anyone trying to be pushy about faith or anything else. Anyway, blessings to you 🙂

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  39. There’s a quote in the beautifully written King James Bible that says something like “Seek ye FIRST the Kingdom of God… and all other things shall be added unto you” (Part of an inspiring speech known as the ‘Sermon on the Mount’ recorded in the 5th and 6th chapters of St. Matthew’s biography of Christ).
    People are so determined to seek out all those “other things” that they don’t have the time or inclination to seek out the Kingdom of God. People love to read all about scandals, salacious rumours and political discord, in the news, novels or movies, without realising it’s all been done before, and recorded right there in the bible. Many know the story of David, when he was a wee boy, and took out Goliath with his sling-shot, but how many realise that the same wee boy grew up to become the most powerful World Leader? Or that the same King David, had a deadly weakness for an attractive married woman?
    In fact, your own story even has some echoes of the biography of Job, a guy who was pretty ‘well-to-do’, but lost virtually everything when he went through the most horrific health problems. But despite having every reason to become disillusioned and lose faith, he kept his patience and more importantly his belief, to which his restoration to full health, extraordinary wealth, and a happy family life was attributed.
    Church shouldn’t be all fluffy sheep, rainbows and a sing-along – people grew out of that in high-school. When church leaders go back to telling it straight, which is ultimately their purpose, people will start to pay attention to them and, who knows, they might well find all those other things they are looking for.

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    1. Hi Ally! thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re so right – gotta seek Him first. And wow, I’ll definitely have to read the book of Job, I hate to admit I have only read bits and pieces of it. I’ll put it on my to do list 🙂 you’re right – church is a place to worship. thanks so much for stoping by! big hugs xox

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  41. Hey there girly, being the coolest Christian blogger around that I know of (besides yours truly of course) i want you to know i absolutely love reading your blog and getting your perspective. I can say from my heart I am proud of you and the victory you have found and the joy you so obviously have and I am happy to be called your brother
    Now, let me answer the question posed in your most recent blog title
    “Where are all the young people?”
    Young people are beginning to wake up, and they see “Church” for what it is…
    a money scheme.
    Now don’t get me wrong, the intention of the heart of church leaders most likely isn’t to make millions and retire early (although there are some who most definitely fall into this category) but the fact is, that the established church relies on fear and longing to make stay open, and fear and longing is a billion dollar industry.
    Luckily for us, the Gospel has NOTHING to do with fear and longing. “What do you mean Rhett? The Bible says to “fear the Lord” and to be “longing for Christ’s return!”
    this is true. But the Bible also says “a blessing be upon you when you dash your enemies children against the rocks”
    Just cuz it’s in the Bible doesn’t mean its true and most definitely doesn’t mean it represents our Father’s heart.
    That’s the problem, we, as Christians, worship a book about God rather than the ONLY true God, who is not a book, but living.
    Our Churches are “dying” for a couple reasons.
    1.) They worship and adhere to “the dead letter” as Paul calls it, and when your god is “dead letter” you too will end up just as dead as the book you worship.
    2.) now don’t judge me, but to be honest.. Church as an institution is completely and totally irrelevant.
    I know that last one is hard to hear, but it is the truth. the church age ended in 70 AD and was not meant to last beyond that point. I am working on a post about this very thing currently.
    There has been a massive deception the last 2000 years about what the Gospel truly is, and that’s why I started my blog, not because I have all the answers, but I do do my homework and study the meanings of the language used and the cultural and historical context and what I have found is that Jesus came “not but for the lost sheep of Israel” and to “save” them from destruction, which did in fact come at the hand of the Romans in 70 AD.
    There’s a lot more that goes into all this, so keep up on my blog for the deets as I try to cover everything I am learning which is pretty cool stuff I must admit. But the brunt of it is that this is not the “church age” as we like to call it, but “the new heavens and new earth” which we have been taught all our lives is a physical literal place, but what Jesus clearly says “is not observable.” Literally, the “kingdom of God” is “In you” Jesus said, not some place we will one day walk on streets of Gold.
    Anyways, the youth are waking up to the fact that church is dead and unnecessary and in face, sad to say, can do NOTHING for us but accuse and condemn us. Church has literally become “the satan” which in the time of Jesus was the law of Moses.
    I challenge you to read Pauls letters. I will attach a link to Michael Hardin, a 40 year theologian who reads and writes the original languages, and don’t read Romans until you’ve watched his seminar on it, otherwise you will think Paul is skitzo and has split personalities lol. Anyways, love your stuff girl, keep it up, don’t be disheartened, there’s no way you will end up alone 😉
    and believe me, you want a guy with morals, but not the kind that have a judgmental God behind them, because that god is a devil in disguise
    Always, Rhett
    Ps. here’s that link to Michael Hardin on Romans.

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your kind words about my blog! I’m so glad you enjoy reading it! This is some powerful food for thought. You’re right – God is living. I️ will definitely check out that link. Hugs and love xox

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  42. Remember that I’m an old married lady. A long time ago my Sweetie and I worked in Church ministry in a couple of places. I have LOTS of opinions. LOTS. Based on experience, opinions none the less.
    That said there are vibrant, active, Catholic parishes, and ministries around the City. I’d say you’re more likely to find the 20’s and 30’s at the midday Masses. A lot of folks will leave work during their lunch time.
    A slight change in your day might help.

    Teri

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    1. Hi Teri! thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. ooh that’s a great idea! i’ll try that out and let you know 🙂 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  43. I think “The Cool Word” is on to something here. I not sure what the definition of denominational and non-denomination was in their thoughtful words though. The problem is in today’s world we want to open up a study on everything including why people don’t attend church any more and then present findings to a diminishing flock to debate. That doesn’t change anything, just highlights the problem. Why don’t young people attend church now? Well let’s start with our educational system. Evolution is taught as the truth as opposed to creation. So when we have evolved from a primeval swamp as taught there is no need of God, Jesus and the plan of salvation. We are a random blip on the screen of the universe so there is no sin and thence no need of a Saviour. What have we done to our youth! There is a God, He is watching, He granted us power of choice and we can choose heaven or a wild ride on this earth and eventual oblivion. However youth do admire the principles Jesus preached. It’s a hands on religion as opposed to the ritualistic stuff the older generation Christians model. We lost the way in the last 2,000 years. You want kids at church, then we oldies need to walk the talk not preach it. That’s my view of Christianity and I’m an unashamed Christian who finds meaning in life and a hope beyond. Do you know something? You are a treasure and if the dumb males around you can’t see that they are not worthy of you. I believe God has a special someone just for you and you don’t have to go hunting. He will send them to you in due time. I’m going to pray for that in my personal devotions. 🙂

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    2. thank you so much for this great food for thought, Ian. And thank you for your prayers.it truly means a lot. you’re so right – free will is a powerful thing. big hugs to you xox

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  44. Beautifully said. Thank you for this! The world needs more kindness and Christ. And don’t worry, your hubby is probably doing the same thing as you, you just might be going to opposite cathedrals on opposite days. 😉🤔😮

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  45. I’m part of the choir you speak to my dear, but I’m 45, so I don’t know if I qualify. Church if vitally important to me, and I love making coffee for 200 church goers every week. I get a plethora of thanks for doing it, and some in the beginning thought it interesting that a man, by himself without his wife, was in the kitchen making coffee. Bless their hearts as we say in the south here, but people have to want to do something. God is everywhere, but if the pain of evil doesn’t drive people to commune with the Father in corporate settings then you can bet they’re not turning to Him in private. Sad really.

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    1. Hi Daniel! thank you so much for this response. that’s so great how you serve your parish! i really appreciate your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  46. Hey Caralyn, Tom here.

    Just wanted to say that I’m in the same boat as you, and it’s been increasingly difficult for me to focus on God in my singleness, cuz I’ve been single for 10 freaking years to really let God grow and make me into the person He wants me to be, and now I’m just hoping beyond hope that before I turn 30 next year I’ll find someone. But in the mean time, it’s just more of a reminder that I must continue to glorify God as I wait. I don’t know if I’ll even find my wife here in the Cornhusker State, but if there’s one thing that God has taught me, it’s that the way He works isn’t limited geographically. So just keep ya chin up and eyes on Him and maybe in the ways you least expect it, you’ll run into your future husband. As always, I really enjoy your writing, extremely talented with it and hope you never stop sharing your life.

    Prayers go out to you Caralyn 🙂

    ~Tom

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    1. Hey Tom! Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. You’re so right – gotta keep my eyes on Him. Thanks for sharing your experience too. God’s got a plan for the both of us! Hugs and love xox

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  47. i’m so stoked for you! i’m relieved that there is still good in this world, i enjoy reading your posts and ive been absent on my own for quite sometime but i finally found myself with an inkling of spare time this evening and im gonna get back to it. keep doing what you do and know that you’re an inspiration, keep up the good fight!

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  48. Oh snap. She is back. Congrats on Patreon Yellow. And did you block the comment box in the last post? “Anywho…lol” I noticed what you wrote about the young people too. But I found them somewhere else. In California, they are in bible schools and missionary movements and organizations reaching out into the business world, art, education…everywhere. Oh Caralyn…I wish you could see them. Lots of them. There is hope. And you will find Mr BBB. It’ll happen.

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    1. Thanks friend! Hmm I️ don’t know! I️ don’t think so! I️ switched to a different platform, and that was my first post on the new one so perhaps that’s why it was messed up. Oh really! That’s awesome. Thanks for the encouragement Ish! Hugs and love xox

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  49. what on earth is wrong with men these days…. are they blind? You’re beautiful! Okay I’m starting to sound like a cracked record I’ve said that before…. Words fail to capture the art that is you. Oh lovely rose that makes dew drop sigh that makes bee’s sing as the draw your nectar. The other flowers in the garden envy your sweet scent they are more jealous of you than they are of orchid’s . The butterflies whisper your name to each other how gorgeous are her petals they reflect the love of God. The lady bugs smile and say “who ever picks this flower will never wont for another . You are beautiful beyond the vine supports you. Beautybeyondbones.

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    1. Oh my gosh Chrissy, you’re so kind. thank you. this is seriously the most beautiful encouragement every. blessing to you. Hugs and love xox

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  50. Hey Caralyn, that was a very astute observation. I’ve noticed that too and was in wonderment as well. As for me, I took my kids to church as they were growing up. Granted as they got older, I didn’t impose my will on them but they would often be the ones to remind me that we need to go to church. Some weekends we do miss church because of our hectic schedule but we do stop in for a few minutes to to give our thanks for everything He blessed us with. I truly don’t know why the younger generation does not go to church but as long as they have God in their lives by saying little prayers or just talking with Him then maybe that’s a start. Great post.

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    1. Thank you so much Mark, i really appreciate this reflection. you’re right – that is a great start. it’s all about relationship. big hugs to you xox

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