Where are the Young People?

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Since being back in NYC, for the last week and a half, I have gone to a different church every day for Daily Mass.

And as much as I wish I could say I was 100% going for faith and spiritual purposes, I would be lying if I didn’t say that 62% of my reason for attendance was because I am…#HusbandHunting.

Some women lunch down on Wall Street in the hopes of meeting Mr. Right. Some women attend daily mass. Po-ta-to, Po-tah-to.

Don’t judge me, but I go full hair and makeup in the hopes of fortuitously bumping into the future Mr. BBB. Not that I don’t trust God’s plan and timing, but let’s just say…I’m giving Him a little help. Trying to speed up the process, if you will.

But it’s actually been a really interesting exercise to go to all these different churches in all these different neighborhood around the city.

I’ve been in, of course, St. Patrick’s cathedral, where I was dodging tourists taking photos on their iPads.

 

I’ve been in sleepy chapels with only 3 other people. I’ve been in Spanish speaking masses where they sell homemade empanadas outside on the sidewalk afterwards. Even one where the song books were written in Chinese! (I wish I would have taken a picture!) Uptown. Downtown. Midtown. Brooklyn.

And no matter where I went, there was one, glaringly obvious similarity…

There were no young people.

Nope. Not a single under-30 to be found. With the exception of one couple I saw that were  clearly in a relationship, all the other people in the pews were either geriatric, or recipients of AARP magazine. (And no offense to either of these wonderful groups of people. I love ya, but this girl’s lookin’ for a husband, here!)

But after the end of the second week of, again, being the youngest in the room by an easy 20 years, I was feeling very discouraged. I sat there in the pew, looking up at the crucifix and seeing Jesus literally hanging there, it made me really sad to think that here’s this incredible gift that He gave us, and nobody flippin’ cares.

The pews were empty.

And listen, I’m not some holier-than-thou exemption either. Sitting there in my high heels and lipstick, my attendance clearly had ulterior motives.

But the emptiness was definitely alarming.

And I get it, just because you don’t go to church doesn’t mean you don’t love Jesus. That’s not my point here either. But it just saddened me to see church attendance literally on life support.

Is this it? Have we finally reached that moment where Christianity has become obsolete, minus a handful of out-of-touch “bible bangers” who don’t know the difference between Kanye and Kenya?

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Have we finally reached the moment where Christianity has become irrelevant?

The answer: Faith is needed now more than ever.

Yeah, sure, it may be more interesting to sit around on our iPhones and read about the latest sexual abuse allegation on Twitter. Or watch Instagram Stories from your friends, or scrutinize Kylie Jenner’s snapchats and whether or not she has a baby bump.

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Sure. Those things are definitely technological luxuries of the time, but the fact is, we need to pray for this broken world.

We need to pray for those empty seats.

We need to ask Jesus to help those who are hurting and to move in the hearts of those who could be filling those empty pews.

But here’s the truth of the matter: we need to be Jesus’ hands and feet here on Earth.

And that doesn’t necessarily mean going out and evangelizing on the street corners and handing out your church’s business cards at the water cooler. Although, that would be great if you did.

It starts in the way you treat people.

Are we living with compassion and empathy? Are we creating a welcoming environment for those who may be at church for the first time?

Are we making faith attractive, or is it more of an exclusive club with lofty prerequisites and impossible standards.

If we want those seats to be full, we need to make it a place people want to be.

I’ll be going to mass here again in a little while. And tonight, I’ll be praying for those empty seats. For the conversion of hearts. For the hurting in our world.

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May I be a source of hope in this dark world. May I make His gospel seem inviting.

And may I find a freakin’ husband.

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387 thoughts on “Where are the Young People?”

  1. You are absolutely right ,that’s the actual situation the world over.I don’t understand where we are heading too,totally consumed by the INSTA’S,FB,TWITTER ….Everyone is inquisitive about the others life,not realizing whats happening to their’s.

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    1. thanks so much for your reflection. you’re right – we spend all day peering into the lives of others that we’re forgetting to live our own!! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Caralyn, I am happy to hear that you are open to perpetual love on earth. Impatience is the enemy of the kind of love you seek. I speak from experience.

    We both were married when we met. I never felt that kind of intense love before or since. There was no denying she was the only one for me, and I was the only one for her. That was 1980. Two years later, after our divorces were final, we were married. Five years later, we had to part for family reasons. Our lives apart were painful; we each went on to build careers and friendships, but never met anyone we loved as much.

    I tried to stay in touch with her folks, but lost touch after they retired and moved away. I had heard from them that she had been terribly ill and confined to a wheelchair (which was true). I thought she had died (clearly false). I gave up looking.

    I did not recognize her voice on the telephone. I was surprised and thrilled to hear from her.

    She was a missionary in the middle east for 15 years, a nurse and an Episcopal nun for over 6 years. Then she decided to become a Catholic nun.

    Before she could take the final vows become a catholic sister, her advisor insisted she find me and give me the papers needed to annul our marriage. The church even gave her the search tools to find me.

    I was willing to do whatever she needed me to do to achieve her calling. I agreed to meet her for dinner so she could give me the papers.

    She met me wearing her habit. It was as if the years dissolved when I saw her. I knew instantly why I never entertained marriage all those 26 years. I had never stopped loving her. She told me later, that she had the same experience.

    She called me after our dinner to tell me that she would give up her spiritual life, if I would marry her. I agreed. We have been in love, and married four years or 35 years, depending on how you count. We tell our friends, “the divorce didn’t work out.”

    There is no guaranteed way to meet the love of your life, if you stop living the life you love.
    Just get out there and live. Notice and meet the people who are enjoying what you enjoy. Bring your natural happiness and grace with you wherever you go. With all your talent and healing wisdom, you will be blessed for your patience. He will be open for love like yours too. You will not need convincing. When you find each other, you will not regret waiting.

    My heart and prayers are with you.

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    1. Thank you so much Von! Thank you for sharing your experience. Wow what an incredible story. You’re right gotta get out there and live. Thank you for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  5. Caralyn, it is so refreshing your post! Not the part where young people aren’t in the pews. And not that it was husband hunting that had you sitting in the. But after struggling to have energy to be encouraging to other bloggers, and even stay awake long enough to even finish a comment… literally… 3x this week while trying to finish one to you. Just last night my son found those amusing. If I get this one tonight, it will be the Lord Himself letting me read encourage you. He has someone for you. He sure does love your love for Him. Keep going to church no matter, and you will lead people in, and you never know if your husband is just away for the moment. 😉 praying for you

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    1. Thank you Gail. Oh my gosh! You’re so kind to fight the sleep to share your thoughts with me!! You’re so right – gotta keep showing up and trust in His plan. Thank you for the encouragement and prayers. Means the world. Hugs and love xox

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      1. I am grateful you were understand the message despite the choppy sentences… lol. Evidence to fighting sleep, AND the fight to think straight. 😉 Me and God have faith in you! You will be to be thankful for the wait on your husband when you finally meet who God has been saving for you, and you for Him! ❤

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  6. Ah, my friend (: (:

    The light may have left the shadows / but it yet shines ever brighter

    I know it’s come up before in past conversation, in bits and pieces, but be comforted; the Bride of Christ, she does not reside in any building (: the reality is that the Father you have found growing up in the pews…has such immense life beyond them. And I get where you’re coming from because I grew up in church and when I looked around I saw peers dwindling with disinterest, and even now (maybe especially now) after I have grown so much deeper into Father it makes me angry when I see disinterested young people blowing it off. It breaks my heart to see one girl in particular in my teen group who comes to church, sits through dinner, sits through our time together, disinterested, sometimes totally shut out, probably too afraid to break her established persona to put down the device and participate in relationship and community. If I do not reach her–no, if Holy Spirit does not touch her–we will lose her, and we may lose others who would follow suite.

    And you know I had a lot of misgivings about going back to a church–a lot. Not because I was hurt in church, or because I’m disinterested, but because I know that I have an infinite heart longing that no building can satisfy. I don’t want to see my peers in pews. I want to see them in community. I want to see Jesus alive in them. I want to see LIFE–and life more abundant. I want to see lives transformed, I want to see gifts take root, I want to live in community with the Bride of Christ and I can’t be satisfied by the limits of the buildings people only go to once a week. I’m not trying to brag when I say my church is so great – we’re a small group of around 30-40 who get together once a week, and sit down to a meal together, and have a service afterward. As far as I’m concerned, my favorite parts of the evening are honestly, the meal, and the end of the night when one of my teens without fail asks for a ride home and my heart bursts with joy at every opportunity to hear their hearts, and to speak words of life back into them because I couldn’t care much less for services, but the time to simply be together in the unique presence of Father individually expressed in each of them…that’s Church. And if you’re worried about the pews… don’t be (: the light continues ever brighter (:

    As for your love life…. (teehee (: ) girl, he’ll come; you’ve got eternity (:

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    1. Thanks for this Carson. You’re right, the Lord can be found outside the church walls too — like in our hearts! And in nature! So true. Your church sounds pretty awesome. Definitely something that I️ would love to be a part of! Haha oh gosh – thanks friend. Eternity sounds pretty good 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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      1. It’s even more than that though because the church can be–and is being–found outside the church, and I know that’s a difficult and maybe disheartening proposition to a lot of faithful church-goers and that faithfulness is not without value, but there’s a bigger picture here and that’s the vision I want my teens to catch; the church is not limited to or even defined by walls but by the life and faith of Jesus who gave himself for her 😀

        Oh and another thing on the man thing ;D (I know I just can’t get enough :P) I started watching this video this morning about what to look for in a Godly man and it was total rigid garbage 😀 I couldn’t finish it it was just so cliche. But thats okay because one of the first things this girl said was, first of all, you don’t need to be looking because it’s the man who pursues–I know I know, not what your eager heart wants to hear again ;D but really… rest. And I’m not going to say you can’t look for a man or parade your stuff ;D but rest. I know I’ve said this before but all will come in time and Father has not forgotten about Adam’s Eve ❤

        And I know this just morphed into more than just one other thing but listen, in my relationship with my wife, she was the pursuer. Through friendship to dating to breaking up to re-friendship and re-dating and engagement and marriage and to be brutally honest with you (and me), she sabotaged me and our relationship (unintentionally of course) because I never learned properly how to come through for her and it perpetuated her belief that I wouldn't and that she had to pursue me in order to make me engage her. And that (and some other factors of course) almost destroyed us, to the point that we were on the verge of divorce not too long ago. Only Jesus-esque grace has brought us back together.

        I'm not trying to terrify you or anything 😀 but seriously, when you find your man, let him learn to pursue you. Okaythatsall 😀

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      2. Thank you for sharing your experience Carson. Love is a journey that’s for sure. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much Sarah! I️ really appreciate you passing that info along! I’ll have to check it out! Hugs and love xox

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  8. I sympathise with your plight. I was in the same position 27 years ago. I was born and raised in Ireland but I lived in the UK for 20 years and at the age of 29 was desperately looking for a wife after many years spent seeking a religious vocation. I am reading a book called “The Benedict Option” at the moment and he makes similar points to yourself and some of your respondents with regard to the greying of the mainstream denominations. In most parishes it is undoubtedly true that a decline is observable. There is however one blip on this radar and that is those parishes with the Latin Mass and traditional rites of the Church. So if you want to take the advice of this old man I have two recommendations for you. The first is find yourself a traditional Catholic Parish like this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BbMxycyo2g) or this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bhpYdgRgj0) and attend regularly enough to get to know the youngsters. The second suggestion is something you are probably doing already and that is praying to find a worthy husband. I am twenty six years married to a wonderful woman who prayed for a husband (not sure whether she got such a good deal Ha ha). Try targeting specifically! Like this lady (http://www.catholicwifecatholiclife.com/st-anne-bring-me-a-man-as-fast-as-you-can/)
    I really like your posts and will keep you in my prayers. Our daughter is named Catherine Anne and the house is named St. Anne’s so you can see that I heartily recommend her intercession. Keep your chin up. I have to say when looking at the many admirable Catholic ladies looking for husbands these days that the young men need to wake themselves up!!!! Take care. Gerard

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    1. Thanks friend. I️ really appreciate you sharing your story. That is some great advice! Congrats on 26 years of marriage! How wonderful! Thank you for your prayers, Gerard. Hugs and love xox

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  9. Stop worrying. Relax. Do what you enjoy, whether it’s Mass or work or hobbies, and trust God to bring the husband.
    I remember the loneliness of not having a partner and having my heart broken by the person who I thought was right, but wasn’t. I think I had to accept the loneliness before I could meet someone. I was a lapsed Presbyterian and crossed the path of my Catholic husband-to-be on the way in to a lecture. As we fell in love, I remember thinking that he wasn’t the person I would have chosen, but I really liked him, and, by the way, God, you must have a sense of humour to bring two such different people together. Of course, I never guessed at that point that God had even more in mind and that I’d eventually become Catholic.

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    1. Thanks Canach. I️ really appreciate your encouraging words. And thank you for sharing your story! What a great love story you have with your husband 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  10. I am part of the AARP crowd (not quiet geriatric yet!), but I love your post. Prayer is a big part of the solution, as you have indicated, but I really resonate as well with your concept of making Jesus and Christianity attractive by the way we live, by how we care for others. You express this beautifully – I hope many read it and decide to give Jesus (and even the church) a chance!

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    1. Hah oh gosh thank you Beverly! I️ hope you didn’t take offense at my playful comment. All in good fun, I️ promise:) you’re so right – there is power in prayer! Big hugs to you xox

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  11. I know young people are not flocking to be a part of God’s flock; however, some people worship in places other than churches. I feel closest to God outside in nature. Don’t give up the search.

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    1. That’s a really great point. Thanks for sharing that. I️ love nature too. I️ feel so close to God. Hugs and love xox

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  13. “Are we making faith attractive, or is it more of an exclusive club with lofty prerequisites and impossible standards. If we want those seats to be full, we need to make it a place people want to be.”

    With the million dollar question being how do we do that?

    I remember seeing your “likes” on my two-part discussion of the book Already Gone, so you know what those are about, and it isn’t the music or watered-down theology. People want to hear the Word preached boldly! It’s about that simple. Until that happens, American churches will go the way that European churches have gone. They’ve been turned into museums or some other re-tasking of the building or simply torn down.

    “Compassion and empathy” I agree. I’ve seen congregations who just want to stay as they are. They don’t want to grow. They just it want to remain a personal safe haven. Newcomers are welcomed guardedly, if at all.

    Some Husband Hunting comments on Patreon. Hold your breath…

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    1. You’re so right Jeff! I️ think people want the cold hard truth! There’s so much wish wash out there these days, it’s like — just give t to me straight! Thanks for your thoughts Jeff. Can’t wait to read your relationship advice over on Patreon. I️ should call you Dr. Phil 🙂 hehe 🙂 Hugs and love to you and Julie! Xox

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      1. We are going to have a great evening and Saturday morning; first, we meet for dinner after she leaves her office. Then we go to a presentation by Dr. Paul Maier, a renowned Lutheran professor of church history. He’s speaking at Faith Lutheran here in Memphis tonight and tomorrow morning. I had written him for permission to use info from one of his books in my novel years ago, and he very graciously told me to use whatever I want. We’re psyched! Also, checking to see if you got my email with the review attachment. Great weekend!!

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      2. Oh wow!! That sounds like an incredible weekend you’ve got lined up! I️ hope you have an awesome time!! Awesome – I’ll check it as soon as I️ switch around the laundry! Xx

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  14. This was both hilarious and inspiring.
    Thank you for sharing your struggle and your heart.
    Just know that there are a lot of young people who are very much in love with Jesus and involved in His work. Most of them are already married… but not all of them. The Lord knows what you need, and if you need a husband, I know He will provide a man after His own heart… in His own time. 😉

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    1. Aw thank you so much Sarah Jo! I️ really appreciate your support. You’re so right – in His own time! Hugs and love xox

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  15. No question, daily mass is a tough sell for lots of people and lots of reasons. I was far and away the youngest person (at 40) when I started going to daily mass and that was in a heavily Catholic area! It’s something we’re constantly talking about and something that we, on the clerical side of things, need to be more proactive in helping the newer generations engage with and truly feel that mass is important to their lives. We’ve really not been doing a good job of that for the last few decades and it shows. People like you are picking up the slack. Thank you!

    That said, I do know that many churches have young adult groups, ministries, masses, and the like. The Church of St. Paul the Apostle (I’m admittedly biased being a Paulist) has one at 5:15 pm on Sundays and it is always packed! The energy is wonderful. Best wishes and prayers to you on your search and thank you for what you do! Peace, Rich

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    1. Thank you so much Rich. Yeah that’s very true. I️ should check out some of the young adult ministries in my area! Thanks for your prayers and kind words! Hugs and love xox

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  16. While you may not find a husband right away, try a Latin Mass. There are a few in NYC and for sure in Norwalk, CT (St. Marys, just off I-95).
    What you will find, in most cases, are the pews filled with people of all ages, races, income levels and, yes, marital status.
    The reasons for this are varied. Contact me if you’d like to know more.
    Bill

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    1. Thanks so much Bill, I️ really appreciate it. Yes! I️ should definitely check those out. I’ve actually been wanting to try a Latin mass for a while now! A little intimidated but then I️ should just bit the bullet! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  17. Having young people in the church is all about the relationship and the sincerity of the church body to teach the Gospel. Young people are looking for the real Jesus to fill that void that can’t be filled with social media or constant other distractions. By that, I mean not pizza with a slice of Jesus or a dumbed down message. I’m not saying fire and brimstone it, but just like in a relationship with another person, they want sincerity, honesty, and the REAL DEAL. If a church is throwing fluff out there, they won’t connect. Young people also don’t want to see their donations going towards an updated, newer, fancier church building. They want to see their donations of time, money, and spirit going towards those who NEED it, aka being the hands and feet of our Savior.

    I recently had a close friend tell me that she and her husband haven’t been to church in two months because at their last Mass, the priest focused on how the church body wasn’t giving enough to support church building x & y projects (they have a large, very dedicated congregation) and then went on to harp on how it was a mortal sin to not be married in the Catholic church (they married in his family’s Lutheran church). This seems off to me since I don’t recall either of those being requirements for salvation in the Bible. That priest has likely lost two God-loving people and their three children from his congregation.

    I spent the last 8 Wednesday nights working with 3rd and 4th graders in a non-denominational outreach youth group. They are FULL of the spirit and beg for more – more scripture to memorize, more songs, more attention, and more lessons. These kids come from all backgrounds and walks of life. The last night, their parents joined us for a program and dinner. I don’t attend this church, but was blown away by the way you could feel the Holy Spirit moving in this program. The desire is there for our young people. We need to engage them. We need to step up and step out.

    Thanks for the great post. God will put the right person in your path. ❤

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    1. Thank you for this thoughtful response. Wow what an incredible gift you’re giving those youngsters! I️ will keep your ministry in my prayers! Thank you for your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  18. Hi Caralyn – daily mass is good for our souls, but maybe not the best way to meet single fellas dashing on to work, or out to meet friends. Most Catholic churches have a Young Adults (college age to 35) ministry organizing outings, Bible-studies,Theology on Tap (in local pubs.) One of my good friends met her husband at our YAM in Williamsburg (VA)- they’ve been married 5+ years & moved recently to NYC. Hang in there! Blessings.. Virginia 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Virgins got this wonderful encouragement. You’re right – gotta check out the YA fellowship! Hugs and love xox

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  19. That last part was funny. I do hope and pray you find a ‘freakin’ husband!’. Our church has a surprising amount of young singles. Most of them are male. It’s slim pickin’s tho if a guy wants a wife. Maybe you should try an Orthodox Christian church?

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  23. Such a relatable, funny and endearing post…! Sometimes it’s quite sad to see places of worship empty but then again its beautiful that we never lose faith despite the changing times.

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  24. Ha! I’ve been working on an article about this over the past week. Same here in the UK and the Anglican church … except in the evangelical churches, we need the 20s and 30s back – and the 40s with their growing kids! I had a 600 word limit, which was difficult to keep as there is so much to say on this topic … present lifestyle, present expectations, present attitudes (“me first” etc) … I’d put the piece on my blog, but I keep clear of faith issues there so far … anyhow, I may do a longer version if time and space … Yes, a troubling feature of faith communities right now. Oh dear, I hope you do find a husband: my other ‘same here” is that far as I can see, marriage is not on the mind of the 20s and 30s these days – only in the evangelical community … back in the day, as they say, we all pretty much found partners by age 35 … if not well before …

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    1. Hi Mari! Thank you so much for your thoughts! You’re right – there is SO much to say on this topic. I’d love to read your post! you’re right – times have definitely changed for sure. so glad you stopped by! big hugs xo

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  25. How about checking out some other Christian denominations…you will find whole communities of similar aged hottie’s at some churches. And some with very genuine faith like your own. And getting out to see something different may grow you in other ways too!

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    1. Thanks Louie! similar aged hotties hahaha oh gosh that makes me giggle 🙂 hehe that’s a great point. Hugs and love xox

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  26. Hi, how you been?
    I hear your pain and the cry of your heart so I figured I would let you know our churches tend to have lots of young people and many singles. (humble brag) Check them out!

    Besides that, I don’t think Christianity is dying. The growth is slow in North America, we are seeing an increasingly secular society with post-modern negativity towards big institutions, but it’s not dead and worldwide it’s still spreading quickly.

    With that said, the Bible says as we near the end, one of the signs of Jesus’ second coming will be love one to another will grow cold. Considering love is the heartbeat of God’s kingdom as that happens Kingdom growth will slow. As well, the Bible notes another sign of Jesus return is there will be an alignment of those who love God with everything they’ve got and those who desire to love self and the kingdoms of this world.
    We keep pressing forward, we keep praying, but these things are inevitable.

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    1. thank you so much Brad! oh nice1 You’re so right – we have to keep pressing forward, praying, and loving God! big hugs to you xox

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  27. You are right about church, but some churches try to be too accommodating. We can’t turn from the scriptures. We still must teach about sin and that we are all sinners, but remind people that we are saved by what Jesus did, not what we do. We do good works because we are saved. We need to show love to all. Great message. btw, God will provide you with the right godly man. Nothing wrong with looking. I think God expects it. We can’t just sit in our pew and expect God too do all the work. I am sure you won’t have problems finding someone (be picky and let God do the heavy work! :). By what little I have read and by your pictures, your blog name fits you.

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    1. Aw thank you so much Dave. You’re right – God will provide. I️ just need to trust and be patient. Hugs and love xox

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  28. Hey BBB,

    This post kind of disturbed me a little bit, and I want to give you some “food for thought here.”

    The minute we enter into the Church to receive our Lord, and the door closes, at that moment the “world” closes for us also. We as Catholics believe we are in the presence of Christ. Always remember that.

    Welcoming Environment: I agree here, all should be made to feel welcome in any Church.

    Making faith attractive: Why is the Cross so hard for us to look at? It is the most unattractive Thing that there is. It is the sins on the world consuming our Lord. The only beauty of it, is Jesus loving us so much He was willing to carry us to that Cross and suffer torment, humiliation, torture, and death for us. He was so offensive even His Father, God, could not look upon Him, as Jesus cried, “Father why have you abandoned Me?” Attractiveness, no. When we try and do this, we are taking away the very things which gave to us this “faith” in the first place. It is not about “us.” It is always about Christ.

    We need to make it a place where people want to be? We as Catholics believe Jesus is there. Since when is Jesus not enough for people to want to be in His presence? Protestants (as we) believe “where two or more are gathered I am among you.” Again, why is Jesus not enough?

    When we make Church/Mass about “us,” the only good that is going to come out of that is, “nothing.” (I am talking any Church here.)

    When Jesus walked this earth, He did “the will of the Father.” To many Jews He was the most “offensive Man” on earth. But…. He never tried to make anything “attractive” just so they would follow and believe in Him.

    I just wanted to give you some things to think about. Not saying you have to agree with me. Just think about it. Love you and God Bless, SR

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      1. I did not want to upset you and I think you know I love you enough not to do that. I just wanted to give you something to think about.

        I wanted to bc I know how much you do love Jesus, and the Church. I just wanted you to know He is always enough. As much as I love you, He loves you so much more. I cannot even see how that is possible, for a special place in my heart is where you are at. God Bless, SR

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    2. We also should remember that the Church is not a place or a building or an institution it is the body of Christ; It is you and me! We are the Bride of Christ! I can’t wait for the wedding feast. Yes, you are right. Jesus said that the world would hate us. And, the way we make “the Church” attractive is by loving. Love God first, people second. It is always about Christ. His love is so amazing. He gave His life and took the sins upon His shoulders so that we can be saved and have access to the Father. He is our High Priest. He is our savior. Praise God!

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  29. Great article! God said,”it’s not good for man to be alone.” Hold God to his word, I did. This is the honest to God truth. I was single living a young Christian life but lonely. One afternoon while washing my car I stopped and looked up and said,”God I don’t want to be alone.” 10 minutes later the woman I am married to today showed up. You try it, God knows he’s out there lonely and looking for you. Ask God to send him your way or lead you to him because it’s not good for him to be alone. When God hooks it up, it’s right and forever.

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  30. Great post. I think a lot of people are “phoning it in” for church or using the internet to watch the services when it’s convenient for them. There’s not the sense of community that there used to be. Even as an old, married lady of 48 (LOL), I miss the community that church used to have, even as little as 5 years ago. My advice? Find a church that fits you, get involved in serving, and the rest will fall into place. When I met my husband, I was singing in the church choir, and met him at a bar-b-que (not at church), thought he was cute, and then found out he was a Christian, and the rest is history. My point is, God brought him to me while I was busy serving God. Hang in there. God is preparing you to be ready when the right man comes along. Then pounce! LOL

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    1. Thanks Lisa, this is great advice. And thank you for sharing your story! What a great love story! Hugs and love xox

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  31. As a Christian minister who is old enough to be your father, I can only say that I only wish that more young ladies were looking for husbands in church. You are, however, right about the absence of young people in our churches. Unfortunately, the “answer” that a lot of churches has been to compromise their old ways and teachings in an effort to make church more entertaining. This comes at a cost if a belief system is compromised.
    Continue your search for a husband, be it at church or elsewhere. He is out there if and when God has him ready. However, you are a princess who must have just the right prince. You may not have met anyone up to your Heavenly Father’s standards yet!

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    1. Hey Jim, thanks for this encouragement. you’re right – God is preparing his heart and mine. gotta be patient! Hugs and love xox

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    2. thank you so much Jim, for this encouragement. you’re right – God is preparing his heart and mine. just gotta be patient! Hugs and love xox

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  32. I was one of the people taking pictures in St. Patricks this summer, but with my iPhone not iPad. Who wants to carry an iPad around? What pair of pants has a pocket that will fit an iPad? None, I tells ya, none!

    If you’re looking to find a husband then you have to play the numbers. Go to St. Pats during the busy times. Besides just being beautiful it helps to appear helpless (or at least needing help). Try dropping a handkerchief and pray for a young man with manners to pick it up for you. Maybe wrap your ankle and hobble a bit and see who opens the door for you. Men want to come to the rescue. You might have to do that several times at different doors in a short amount of time before everyone exits.

    Where are some of the young Catholic men? Becoming priests. The others? Being pestered by their mothers to find a nice Catholic girl. I will pray for Catholic mothers to be more bitchy for you.

    Peace, Janis

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    1. Thank you so much Janis. Haha that’s funny. Hahahahahha oh my gosh I️ will pray for those mothers too. Hugs and love xox

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  33. This is a tricky question which can have many answers, but to me, these are the important things. Our generation has become so self -absorbed and think that they are right all the time and that they are good hence no reason for the cross or repentance and people don’t like to hear that they are wrong. Second is there are so many false teachers out there that it is hard to find a good church with sound doctrine. I do think people do go to church but really not church (as in they teach the prosperity “gospel”) people are more inclined to hear that instead of the real gospel. Also, Christianity can never be dead because the object of our faith never dies he is all present and all knowing alpha and omega etc. I don’t mean to sound rude but more important than church you should pray for people to be saved by the gospel and be transformed.

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  34. I hate to say this, but there seems to be less and less interest in what God’s word truly says. As long as we create a place that tickles people’s ears and makes them feel good, these places may experience growth and develop a certain kind of Christian. But how many today really lives the Beatitudes, one of Christ’s greatest messages? What kind of Christian are we today? And I speak of myself too. If I take a good look in the mirror, would I really have been one of those who would have actually hung with Jesus? Or would I have gotten distracted with other things? We have so many things to pursue these days. How hard is it to really have God first, or even second? Come out from the world and be ye separate. Do we even know what that means anymore? I think there is a godly balance, but it’s hard to find these days.

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      1. I get the feeling you’re looking for deeper answers too, and that you are questioning things we have been taught by the experts. I think that is what my blog site is becoming more and more about. I need to ask a favor. Can you please tell me, is my site really striking a chord with you? Is it really giving you food for thought? I believe we are in such spiritual danger in our day, and the question is: “Why?” Got an opinion? I know you have a lot of followers and short answers is all you probably have time for. I can understand that. Maybe you can do an article on this question I think you have touched on in “Where are all the young people?” Do we compromise the true word of God for the sake of bigger crowds? Does that result in the birthing of true Christians? Or are we fooling ourself? What does God’s Word actually say? And is the modern church actually doing it? These are things my site is currently questioning.

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  36. I love how you mention God’s timing in finding a husband, and you understand that but are just helping him along… reminds me of what my mom used to tell me… “God helps those who help themselves.” I often think of that and it inspires me to get moving and work on making things happen. God will be right there, helping me💜 wonderful post Caralyn!

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  38. This is making me sooooo sad. But your honesty and courage made me smile. You’re a proof that not all hope is lost. And I’m with you praying for this broken world, though I’m from the Philippines, a VERY Christian country and every Sunday, churches here are all filled with attendees and of all ages. I haven’t actually been in a church where there are empty pews, Thank God for that. 🙂
    Anywayzzz, goodluck with the hubby-hunting… You chose the right place to look for Mr. Right. God Bless You. 🙂

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    1. Hi Lili, thank you for such kind words. That’s amazing that faith is so alive down in the Philippines. THat’s so great! thanks for your encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  39. Now that they know you’ll be at a random Cathedral looking for a husband, I’m sure there will be some young, single guys looking for you. You have the right attitude and I applaud your efforts at bringing peace as well as your dreams to this world.

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  40. Hey Caralyn: Happy Happy Saturday to you, with the best day of the week approaching, when we get to corporately celebrate the Resurrection and Life of Christ, and attempt to learn to become more like Him.
    I know, we can, should, do, celebrate Christ and His Resurrected Life daily, and His free gift of Salvation that is available to all who will receive it, but Sundays do remain special for gathering together, and I am sorry to hear you haven’t found a full church yet.
    One secret, that is not really a secret because it is in Scripture, the best selling book of all time. ( I am sorry, but I don’t think “Bloom” will catch up, the Bible has too many years head start): 😀
    Anywho, as a wise woman says, although my Dad used that for years also, if correct, I gleaned from your writing that you are in Central NYC. If I remember correct also, “Times Square Church” is in that central area, with a good Pastor and great history. Actually, check out their website, if you have interest at all, they tape and rebroadcast all their services. I do watch at times when mind remembers and time allows.
    If you have ever heard of Nicky Cruz, who was the biggest, baddest gang leader in NYC many year ago, the founding Pastor Of “Times Square”, David Wilkerson was a young Street Minister at that time, who met Nicky Cruz, and after much time, many talks and struggles, led Nick and most of his gang to Christ. Nicky Cruz has been an evangelist for many years now, and it was under his ministry, when he spoke one time, not many years after becoming a Christ-follower, in home region here, that my wife was convicted of her sin, and started her walk down the path to become a Christian.
    Oh, this has gone longer than I thought. One last thing, David Wilkerson wrote a book “The Cross and The Switchblade, which is the story of the life of Nicky Cruz. Both those gentlemen have written a number of God Centred books that are helpful to all.
    Sorry to say, David Wilkerson died in a car accident a number of years ago.

    God Bless You Caralyn,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️
    George

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    1. Thanks George! Same to you! Thank you for sharing this. You’re right – I’ve got to keep getting out there. And that’s a great idea! I’ll look into that church. Sounds interesting! And wow Nicky sounds like he was an incredible person. Hugs to you xox

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      1. You are pretty incredibly fantastic as well Caralyn. I could put commas, or periods after each word, but I will leave it, and it can be seen and believed in all ways.
        Luv and hugs. 😀🌹❤️

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  41. Someone may have already suggested this, but have you considered online dating? There’s a Christian one–there might be a few, not sure. Other ideas would be to do hobbies you love or volunteer work – something that involves meeting new people–you get to do something you enjoy and possibly meet a guy with the same interests. I’m not sure what church you go to, but in Maryland there’s a nondenominational community church with lots of young people, so I imagine there would have to be plenty of those in NYC. Find one you like (preferably with young people there) and stick to it instead of switching it up every week, and get involved in some of the groups there. That way you can get to know people there, make friends, and you could eventually meet the guy either directly or indirectly through friends. Good luck! You’ll find someone, and it will probably happen sooner than you think. Hugs to you.

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  42. You’re such a great writer. I have been taking a rest from Mass due to a bad cold. But just before, I was feeling some of things you say. The stuff builds up. In my case the issue is trying to find someone within an appropriate age range who hasn’t turned into a crusty, conventional bore. 🙂

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  43. I can picture you in the front pew dressed to the nines, and all the elderly ladies thinking of which grandson should meet you! But girl there is NO hurry. I have told my boys, 20 and 24, since they were tiny don’t rush it. Life has so many adventures, and can take you anywhere. But if you get tied down early married or with a house, you will lose out on some of the best.

    I love being married and my wife is amazing, but I truly wish the first time I woulda waited 10 more years or so…

    Take care! And some man is going to be VERY lucky to marry you someday

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    1. Haha thanks Tony. And thank you for sharing your experience. What wonderfully kind words of encouragement. Thank you. Hugs and love xox

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  44. What a great write-up! I didn’t miss any letter of this post. WE just have to continually pray for the church and every soul on the surface of the earth. Intercession! The main purpose of your going to different churches is not bad – It’s better to marry a devil in the church than marrying a saint in the world (I hope I’m not misunderstood?) Though, I’m not qualified, for I’ve found my better half. I always intercede for people like that, that the Lord would grant them their heart desires, and much more (the bets miracle ever – Salvation, if they’ve not found it.) BEAUTY! Thanks for sharing, your posts are always very powerful and impacting.

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  45. If there are empty plates or filled with less than desirable food for the hungry souls, why would young people wish to feed their spirit?

    I do believe and know how beautiful and great the people are, yet, anything what has been established became detoured, misled and abusing the masses – in the whole human history.

    After only the women believed in Jesus’ resurrection, they were also leading the home churches and areas – up until Christianity became institutionalized for the sake of governmental power. Then women become more and more marginalized, and looking the history, outcast and slaves in the society. It took 2000 years and a USA to realize: women are not objects, it is not God’s plan to behave with them like it has been happening…

    Young people are everywhere, they are modern prophets with their arts which show how they are looking for the internal peace and eternal happiness.

    Jesus has always lived in people’s heart, not in skyscrapers. Nobody needs liturgy to feel God’s presence – just live a true life, your heart will resonate Him…

    Personally, I’m sure, if you keep living for others, your spouse will come to your life from the most unexpected place and in the most unexpected way.

    And you will have a great chance to live happily ever after!

    Blessings!

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    1. Hey Joshua! This is some really powerful food for thought. Thank you for sharing it with me. Amen to that! He is in our hearts! Hugs and love xox

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  46. Hi! I think the many cases of spiritual and financial abuse being committed by so many preachers in power has driven younger people away from what we call “church” today. Young people are searching for something authentic and real, but unfortunately the majority of churches today are selling a distorted message, with most preachers entangled in power schemes and living lives completely opposite of the message of the Bible. Young people are wise enough to see this happening. In trying to draw in crowds, churches have tried preaching prosperity and “your best future now” gospels as well as other false gospels, only to create an even greater disconnect with the youth of today who see through all their snake oil. When Jesus is exalted, He draws others to Himself. Unfortunately, too many churches exalt money, power, and a fancy congregational experience over Jesus. Too many churches are run as a spiritual house and as a business, and we all know what happens when trying to serve two masters. It’s a sad reality but it’s encouraging to come across other young people as yourself who are sharing a real faith and asking the real questions that matter today! All the best!

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  49. I’ve found that my friends who are still part of the Catholic church feel much the same way—that the young people are not there. They’re not finding a lot of relevance to the world outside the RCC’s church walls, so they’re not bothering. Personally, as a former Catholic I can understand completely. I’ve found a lot of vibrance in the evangelical Christian churches I’ve attended, and young people are flocking there by the dozens.

    Please understand this is NOT a slam against the Catholic church. But part of the problem may be that so many Catholic church attenders go out of a sense of guilt or obligation, rather than because they have a desire to know Jesus better. You seem to be an exception, and I know there are some out there who are active and spiritually healthy in the Catholic church. But there are many who, if they don’t have a compelling reason to go (a.k.a. parents or grandparents will frown on them if they don’t, God will be “angry” with them), they simply don’t. They speak of the church not teaching about how to love and follow God in the world we live in, with all its imperfections and problems. Until they find a real relationship with Jesus, they won’t see any point in spending any time getting to know him and grow. I’m sorry you’re experiencing a lack of fellowship in a place that’s so important to you.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. A relationship with Jesus is definitely what we’re all seeking. i’m so glad you’ve found a church that resonates with you. thanks for your kind words. big hugs to you x

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  50. I was sad to read you post but must admit it has left me grateful that we live in a Diocese which is filled with vibrant young adults and our own Church’s pews have young & old alike. The RC Church and our faith is vibrant and ALIVE with young and old hungry to witness to others…and I know your young prince is waiting to share his faith with you too – and you WILL find Him once God has perfected you both (for the other.) Prayers being sent for the city of New York and all those who have forgotten the Church Christ left for them. Hugs & Blessings for sharing your experience and you ARE looking for your beloved in the right place!!!😉

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    1. hi Dawn thank you for your thoughts on this. I’m so glad to hear that your parish is alive and kicking 🙂 thanks for your prayers and kind words! big big hugs xox

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