The Thing about Clean Slates

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

It’s been a really interesting time that I’ve been home here.

Like, really interesting.

To the point where, I have been just so caught up in the moment, and wrapped up in life,  allowing my heart to be open…it’s almost as though I am a different person.

Let’s just say that for truly the first time, I am allowing my heart to be open and letting someone in and I have been so surprised how I’ve responded. I thought for sure that I’d be scared or keeping myself at arms distance, but honestly, it feels really good to let someone get to know me. The real me.

Anyway, that’s all I’ll say about that.

🙂

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I had a really fascinating experience last Friday.

I went to “the” bar in my hometown…you know the type…the one where everyone goes. The place you go to “bump into people” from your past, or just “be seen.” Whether you like it or not, you’re guaranteed to run into at least 7-10 people you know.

So I went there. Well, I was invited there on a particular evening. Anywho, long story short, my PSA for the day is that the Friday night before Christmas, be prepared to encounter your entire high school class if you’re out and about downtown. haha

But for real, I ran into, granted they were all young men, but probably – I kid you not – 45 guys that I hadn’t seen since high school.

Let me rephrase that.

I ran into 45 really handsome men from high school, all of whom, the last they had seen me, I was 78 pounds and deep in the throes of anorexia.

Yeah.

Puts a bit of a different spin on it when you put it that way, doesn’t it.

Yeah. I’ve undergone…quite the transformation.

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Shop this look!

But I’m not going to lie, the entire ride there, on the way to meet a particular someone, I was just sweating bullets, getting my undies all in a bundle about how people would react to seeing me.

And not in a narcissistic, warped sense of importance, but just a…holy crap, I feel like I’m having some sort of big reveal, a la extreme home makeover.

MOVE. THAT. BUS!

180px-Ty_Pennington

jk

But I’ll tell you what. I’ve gotta hand it to these gentlemen. They gave me the warmest welcome.

“Caralyn ____________?!?!!! Oh my gosh, how the hell are ya!?”

Or my personal favorite, “Caralyn ________’s in the building!”

But seriously, I was completely accepted. Given a clean slate. Taken in as the young woman standing in front of them that night.

And I had an absolute blast. Didn’t want the evening to end, in fact. For a number of reasons 🙂

But coming home that night, taking my makeup off, brushing my teeth, I actually started crying a little bit – so overjoyed by the graciousness and love shown to me that night.

High school was a really hard time for me. I went from homecoming court/varsity soccer player/dating the football captain, to an isolated, lifeless shell of my former self, flirting with death, all on display for my high school peers to witness.

Those same peers that welcomed me with open, loving arms that night.

And it made me think. You know, life happens. For everybody.

Sure, I may have fought a very public battle against anorexia, literally wearing my issues on my body. But nearly everyone in that bar that night had gone through their own struggles.

None of us are immune to hardships or challenges, and the thing is, we’re all bringing different baggage to the table.

And talk to a person long enough, and you’ll realize that there are a lot of different levels to a person. Most don’t meet the eye.

But it turns out, it’s those levels that make us who we are.

Shop this look!

It’s those levels and layers that shape us into the people we are today.

And everybody’s got ’em.

I’m so grateful to those guys for offering me a clean slate. For letting me be the woman in front of them, rather than the girl they remember.

Because let me tell ya, the young woman in front of them is fun. She is goofy. She is whole. She is continuing to heal and accepting herself more and more every day. And gosh da she has a lot to offer 🙂

What a way to welcome 2018. Out with the old and in with the new.

Sounds like a great 2018 slogan to me 🙂

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

188 thoughts on “The Thing about Clean Slates”

  1. I’m so happy that everyone was able to see who you are now! And the first picture in this post is my favorite one of you so far–I feel like we can really see your good heart in your expression!

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  3. You didn’t see it but I totally high-fived the screen like 20 times lol Your story warms my heart and I am so happy to read the awesome time you had ❤ Nothing like entering 2018 with the right kind of high and I'm rooting for you all the way! When I visit your blog and read your words you truly come through as a genuine person with a big heart and there is so much power in the journey you share. You go girl! 😀 God Bless ❤

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    1. Hahahha oh my gosh that’s amazing. Thank you friend 🙂 yes! Let’s enter 2018 with a positive kick butt mind set! 😍😍😎😍😎😎 Happy New Year! 🎉 Hugs and love xox

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  4. Happy New Year! May 2018 continue to bring adventure and exploration. -Oscar
    P.S. for those of us over 50 who have never sent/received a text message, what is “PSA for the day”?

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    1. Same to you Oscar! Thank you 🙂 PSA is “public service announcement” haha kind of like an all-points-bulletin or like, a breaking news headline haha Happy New Year! 🎉

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  5. My best! Great attitudes are contagious!

    Side point: “Move that bus!” I did graphic work for one of the Home Edition projects in Wisconsin. They liked it so much, I did one for Kansas and NYC (I think). Seems like there was one more… I met Ty and some others. What fun!

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  7. See, that’s what I’m talking about! It’s not how you started that impacts the future all that much it’s how you end up that matters most! You have just given a shot of “ Your An Overcomer” to all boys,girls, men, and women everywhere!👍🏾🙂I’m encouraged!

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    1. awwww, you are just such a breath of fresh air! thanks for reading my articles today! happy new year friend! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Hey Caralyn: I am so thrilled, happy, swelled up inside, and more that there are no words for, to see that you reconnected with people you knew / know from school days, and they saw the real you. That is so super. I had been thinking earlier, in the past week, if asking how the date went that you had mentioned, but it was better hearing of it this way, when you were ready.
    It does sound like a possibility of a possibility of a special person in that group of 45 or so. I would be among one of the happiest for you, amongst the other 3000+ of course.
    Glad you had so much fun.
    God Bless you Caralyn. The greatest HAPPY NEW YEAR ever to you, and Mom and Dad. Especially following what your Mom went through last February I believe it was.
    Chat next year
    Luv. 😀🌹❤️😘
    George

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    1. hey George! oh that is so kind of you to say. thank you friend. You are such a source of positivity and joy in my life! it was fun! I had a great time, and who knows 🙂 one day at a time! HAPPY NEW YEAR! sending so much love to you and yours x

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  10. I always love how open you are I your posts doll and this one was no exception. I know you are blessing other young women with your wisdom. What a beautiful person you are. Happy New Year!!

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  12. wow this was unexpectedly deep! every body deserves a clean slate because that is what Jesus gave us with our heavenly father! & like you said out with the old in with the new is something we have to do not just cos its a nice thing but its something God wants for us. I did something out of character during the last week of December, I made a new years resolution, to be more expressive in faith, I don’t talk about my faith much only to church family, but I don’t always have to talk about it, I can express it, whether it be serving cups of hot drinks at outreach or worshipping with all my heart soul and body. I’m going to try and keep it!

    WOW! That just got even deeper! on another note I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, and I hope & pray 2018 is a lot easier on you & your family given the year you had. also I couldn’t help but laugh at the “panties in a bundle” comment, I know it wasn’t a laughing situation, just found the term so funny! in the UK the term “knickers in a twist” (which is possibly why New York Knicks are so bad haha) speaking sports, Thank you SOOOO much for your Bengals knocking my team out of playoff contention, so thank you sooo much! 😂😂😂😂

    Thank you for all your support & encouragement during a difficult year for both of us, love you loads xxxxxxxxx
    P.S. sorry for the essay type comment 😂😂😂

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    1. Hey there Benny! aw, thank you. Yes, i think 2018 is going to bring wonderful blessings for both of us! I love your resolution – so powerful. i know you can do it! happy new year friend! Hugs and love xox

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  16. hi there, thank you for popping by on my brand new page, it was really nice of you, so I thought I would return the gesture and read your blog here. It’s really lovely and I look forard to being in a place like that too someday. Currently too sick to get outdoors (abused and sleep deprived by a neighbour-on purpose, since nov 2016 and now seeking legal help to fight discrimination from landlord.. long ugly story). Anyhow, thank you for such an inspiring post, and I am so sorry to hear how bad things were for you in high school. My past was not rosy either, so without wanting to pry or get too heavy, my thoughts are with you for any struggles which you had to work so hard to deal with and get past. You come across as a really content lady, and I appalaud and appreciate as someone who has struggles hard to cope with, all your efforts to get to that. Inspiring! Happy New Year Carolyn, from Shar. xo

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot. I’m sorry you’re going through that! I hope the situation resolved itself quickly. Big hugs and Happy New Year! 🎉.

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  17. Love that you had such a positive experience! Good to remember – everyone is going through or has gone through something. Glad you’re on the better side of it. Happy New Year! 🙂

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    1. Hi Ted! oh wow, i just read your piece and I am so touched and honored by your generous and positive words. THANK YOU!!! gosh, my heart is so warm. i’m so glad that you enjoyed the book, and i am incredibly grateful that you would write such a glowing recommendation to your followers. You rock, my friend. God bless and have a beautiful evening. big hugs x

      Like

  20. You are a beautiful young woman. If I were 35 years younger and Catholic I would be very interested in someone like you. Keep up the creative work you do.

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  21. I enjoyed this post for several reasons and can’t help thinking that acceptance vibe you experienced is what the Church ought to be known to provide. Also – a quick thank you for giving my own humble posts a Like. It’s good praise from a professional and an intelligent lady like yourself. Feeling good about 2018!

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  22. I really appreciate your perspective in this post. I find myself concerned with how people from my high school will react when/if they see me, considering it’s been nearly six years since I’ve seen them too! I think you’re right, however, in that everyone has their baggage, and we all undergo changes physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. as we progress through this thing called life. So thank you for that reminder, and thank you for reminding me of the importance to love myself for who I am today!

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    1. thank you so much friend. I’m glad that this hit home with you. yes lets love ourselves! Hugs and love xox

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  23. I like that you keep a positive theme on your posts, makes people feel good about themselves! 🙂 God bless! xx

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  24. Love it … We all “beat ourselves up” way too often … we forget how much we have to offer …
    anyone who pretends they don’t have issues is not being honest with themselves … we all do.
    Everyone you meet is dealing with some sort of pain, a loss of some kind … we just have to listen long enough for them to tell their story.
    Love your piece, especially this … it really resonates …
    “But nearly everyone in that bar that night had gone through their own struggles.
    “None of us are immune to hardships or challenges, and the thing is, we’re all bringing different baggage to the table.

    “And talk to a person long enough, and you’ll realize that there are a lot of different levels to a person. Most don’t meet the eye.

    “But it turns out, it’s those levels that make us who we are.”

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    1. Thanks friend. You’re so right – we all really do have wonderful things to offer. Thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

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  27. Another great story. I will again share this will my girlfriend and those important ladies in treatment. They need to know that they have a lot to offer. I know nothing about the ED struggle – except that I care. Sometimes that empty look in their eyes brings a tear to mine – not to sound corny, but earnest. Anyways, I Love it! …and thanks!

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  28. You are so right about new beginnings! I love that people can change and grow so much when given time and space away from high school to realize that we all had junk and we can all be who we choose to be as an adult. Love your blog, thanks for sharing yourself!

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  30. Your story is so inspiring! I can’t imagine how hard it is to experience that during highschool and to carry that uncomfortable feeling from then on but you’ve overcome it all. Congratulations! You’re so strong and dedicated to what you want to achieve. And I agree with everybody saying “you are so beautiful”. Thank you for being an inspiration to all of us. We love your posts!

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