Oprah and the Golden Globes Sham

The Golden Globes were last night.

Just in case your phone died, your power was out, or you’ve had no contact with the outside world in the last 24 hours.

And, unpopular opinion alert: watching the whole thing, I kind of felt a little bit, oh, sick to my stomach.

Seeing the uber wealthy celebs don all black, and take public cheap shots, and all but genuflect at Oprah’s altar, the whole evening just left a bad taste in my mouth, if I’m being honest.

It honestly just seemed like a bunch of petulant children, complaining, a la Verruca Salt, that their porridge was too hot or too cold.

I mean, many of these women, who are all publicly “championing” the end to sexual assault and harassment, have literally made their careers off of allowing themselves to be sexually objectified. It’s the reason they’re in those chairs. You want to tell me that your skintight black dress, that has slits UpToHere, or is sheer with strategically placed lace, is protesting sexual assault? Honey, take a look in the mirror. How about you cover your goods, and have a little self-respect and then let’s have the conversation. I’m not saying to wear a turtleneck and orthopedic shoes, but just don’t come at me with your crotch hanging out of your dress and tell me that you’re championing respect for women.

It just seemed a little hypocritical if you ask me. It doesn’t add up.

And not that by wearing provocative clothing is in any way, shape, or form “asking for it,” but there is a certain way to present yourself in public, versus how you present yourself in the bedroom. And that line has all but ceased to exist. I don’t know, maybe that was just how I was raised, but it is an act of love and respect to help our brothers in Christ not fall into the trap of sin, and maybe one way of doing that is, I don’t know…not dressing like you work at a brothel. Just a thought.

And I know, I know. Bring on the criticism. I think deep down, we all know it’s at least part true.

But what got to me more than snide remarks from the presenters, the militant feminism on display, or the choir of men, all visibly uncomfortable at the tone of the evening, was Oprah’s sermon on the mount.

Now, first. The fact that in the 75 year history of the Golden Globes, that there has never been a black woman to win that award, is a fact that we should all be ashamed of. And Oprah is absolutely, 100% deserving of that award.

Next. Oprah is a child of God. She has done tremendous good in the world. She has overcome a lot of challenges in her past and has successfully built a career that is transcendent, influential, and impressive.

However, Oprah is not God.

And should not be worshiped as one.


Listening to her speech, which, yes – it was powerful, articulate, passionate and incredibly moving – about some very difficult and real topics that need addressing and changing and tackling – listening to it, I felt as though I was being taken to church. Hints of southern baptist preaching came to mind, and I was half expecting to hear a “Can I get an amen?” at some point.

But the degree to Oprah’s revere is truly diety-status. And it makes me sick.

Oprah champions beautiful messages: Believing in yourself. Doing good for others. Overcoming adversity. However, her new age spirituality belongs in the dumpster. Because it is not Christianity, and it should not be touted as such.

To the point that, Christians should fear the mass-sheparding of the flocks of millions to her pasture of false truths and vanilla spirituality.

It’s scary.

But back to her Golden Globes 2018 speech. The “new day” on the horizon for young women and girls.

Granted, I fully realize that I have been blessed with a solid and safe upbringing that, sadly, not everyone is fortunate enough to have. Sure, I had my health challenges, and had one episode of sexual assault, but my life has been incredibly secure. My parents are loving, Christian people who have been married over 40 years. There has been no domestic abuse, no poverty, homelessness, unemployment, racism, or prejudice that I’ve had to personally experience, and for that I am incredibly grateful. And I know that that is not the case for everyone. And that is heartbreaking. And if that’s reason enough to be wearing a black dress, then I guess sign me up.

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This “new day” on the horizon.

Am I missing something?

This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.

What about in third world countries, where women are still suppressed by men? What about in the middle east, where women are still “kept” by men, and prohibited from driving, or showing anything other than their eyes in public?

Truly, what room do we have to talk?

The sexual abuse that has been coming out recently here, is deplorable. And I am so glad that those predators and creeps are finally being called out and given the consequences they so deserve.

As an actor myself, I too, have been on the receiving end of unwanted advances made by “decision makers,” and have faced the career altering-consequences when I turned down those men.

But I have also, to the detriment of my career, turned down the numerous opportunities I’ve received to play great roles that also happen to involve nudity, sex, or other situations/dialogue that goes against my morals and beliefs.  Why? Because I am actually championing women and the messages that art sends out into the world to young women and men about respect. Respect for others. Respect for oneself. Respect for marriage. Respect for life.

And I think that maybe, in addition to the black dresses and the stirring stump speeches, if Hollywood really wants to make a difference in the climate of respecting one another, they need only to look as far as the content they are creating.

Because truly, and sadly, they are the gatekeepers for the tone in our society. They are the trendsetters in every sense of the word. And much of the filth that comes out of Hollywood and onto our big and little screens across the country consists of nothing more than glorified, soft-porn that mocks God, glorifies unnatural beauty standards, and celebrates infidelity and promiscuity.

So don’t throw on a black outfit and tell me you’re championing women and fighting for respect.

Not with that track record.

It’ll take more than an Oprah sermon to get me to believe any of that.




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558 thoughts on “Oprah and the Golden Globes Sham

  1. Hello, I think I subbed to you many moons ago and I see your blogs come into my inbox but I have to say, I don’t always read them. This post however is ON POINT and I praise you for having the guts to say what some of us are thinking. Enough Already! Thank you for writing this!

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your support. Have a great night Jennifer. Hugs and love xox

  2. I think if a woman chooses to wear a dress that’s see-through in certain places or has a slit, that’s her choice. How a man reacts is his choice. Yes he will immediately be drawn to her, but what happens next is on him. Our brothers in Christ can literally be attracted to anything. Some men get turned on by feet, for example.

    Also, regarding cultural sensitivity, there are certain cultures where dressing in fewer garments is actually the norm. In India, for example, women show their midriffs and backs every day. Here, that would be considered “slutty.” There, it’s modest. In Korea, wearing miniskirts is totally normal. Here, it’s seen as “slutty.” So if we should dress a certain way to help our BIC, then how should we dress? Because I don’t think it’s the same all around.

    Regarding the women, each woman has an individual story and belief system regarding her femininity and what that means/how to express it. We can NEVER judge people who behave in the way they’ve been taught to behave. This is what women are taught. I can guarantee that 99% of the women on that red carpet do not know Christ. Why are we expected to hold them to the standard of a woman who has been walking with the Lord for years? It is unfair to judge them in this way.

    The fact is, a woman could be walking around naked and a. be dressed appropriately in some cultures and/or b. still not be asking for it.

    Asking women to cover up their bodies before talking about sexual assault is giving in to the patriarchal mindset that women are indeed asking for it. Why don’t the men cover up? Bulging muscles and tight pants draw attention to their bodies as well. Why are women blamed for being women and having curves? This just plays into the old rhetoric of the female temptress.

    1. Omg you are speaking so many facts! I love this. I think this is very insightful and literally touches upon everything I have been feeling but couldn’t find a way to put it into words. This is great.

      1. Thank you Karen 🙂 I really appreciate it. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

    2. Thank you so much for these thoughtful remarks. You bring up some incredibly powerful and true points! I love hearing everyone’s perspective because this is a dialogue with lots of emotion and personal experience to draw on. You’ve given me some great food for thought! So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love XOXO

    3. I disagree with some of this. You’re correct in that a Christian can’t hold a non-Christian to God’s standards, but neither are Christians to cower for fear of offending a non-believer or keeping our mouths shut and not saying anything against the hypocrisy that is obviously there in society’s actions or dress or speech, whether or not society sees the hypocrisy.

      To say a woman can wear whatever she wants and place 100% of the blame on the man for the consequences that might follow is faulty. Whether we believe in God or not, we all know men are way more visual than women, so in many cases–especially when it comes to Hollywood!–when a woman chooses to dress in a way that is provocative, she then also needs to own part of the responsibility for the reactions the men around her have.

      The issue of dress is a Kingdom issue, not a cultural, worldly issue. God has standards, regardless of culture. Just because women dress a certain way in another culture doesn’t necessarily mean that way is “okay.” Just like we don’t condone other cultures for the way men treat their women and children, we shouldn’t necessarily be condoning other cultures’ ways of dress. Our standards for how we treat one another don’t come from man; they come from God–again, whether or not society acknowledges this (morals and values come from God; without Him, there would be no morals or values and everyone would do what they saw to be right in their own eyes–which is the way our society seems to be headed). Likewise, our standards for how we should dress, especially if we profess to be Christians, don’t come from culture, they come from God, and God has told us to cover certain parts of our bodies. So while it might be “okay” in one culture for a woman to walk around naked, that doesn’t mean it’s okay in the eyes of God, and THAT’S the standard to which we are asked to live. And yes, it’s also the standard we should be lovingly encouraging our non-believing friends to aspire to. Christianity didn’t survive 2000 years because we thought, “Well, they’re non-believers, so who are we to say anything about God and His designs for marriage and family and dress and sex and…” and thus kept quiet about Him and let societies do as they pleased. We mustn’t let our minds be conformed to the world’s standards. That includes all cultures.

      To ask why men don’t have to cover their bodies–well, women aren’t as visually stimulated as men, so seeing a man’s six-pack isn’t going to drive a woman to lust after that man, verses a man seeing too much of a woman’s thigh or too much cleavage will send him to the bedroom in his thoughts. Women are the physically weaker sex; we need men as our protectors. Men are the visually–maybe even mentally–weaker sex; they need us women to protect their minds and thoughts! That means helping them by dressing in a modest way. And whether or not we like the patriarchal mindset, it’s the way God set things up after Adam and Eve sinned, so to fight against His design for family and society is fighting against Him. Not that men can do whatever they want–men are supposed to love the women in their lives like Christ loved the church. If our husbands and/or our fathers aspired to love us like Christ loves us, we would have NO qualms welcoming them as our spiritual heads of households.

      But to think so little of our brothers in Christ and the uphill battle they face every day in this sex-crazed society because we want to wear what we want to wear when we want to wear it is selfish. Period. And that’s the opposite of how we should act as Christians. Jesus said to love God first and love our neighbors second. Our “selves” don’t factor in there at all.

      Like it or not, the Christian walk is all about self-sacrifice. Marriage isn’t about what our spouse can do for us; having children isn’t about what the kids can do for us or filling a need in our hearts. It’s learning about God on a new level and seeing imperfections in us–brought out by our spouse and our kids–that God wants to smooth out. The trials we face are there to deepen our faith in God. Everything in life has one purpose: to glorify God. A thought that doesn’t always leave the best taste in our mouths because we’re sinners and at our core, we want to glorify ourselves. It’s a constant battle this side of Heaven, but it MUST be fought. As Charles Spurgeon says, “Discernment is not knowing the difference between right and wrong. It is knowing the difference between right and almost right.” That line is becoming increasingly blurred in today’s society, but I would argue that if we call ourselves Christians and we’re walking with the Lord, then we ought to look in stark contrast to society and not feel like we have to apologize for it.

      No, I don’t hold a non-beileving Hollywood star to my Christian standards, but that doesn’t mean I condone the way she dresses, nor does it mean I shouldn’t help teach her to honor her body by covering it up, were I to have a friendship with said star. So thank you, Caralyn, for the ways you uphold your faith and God’s standards as an actress. You might not be rewarded with men’s definition of “success” on this earth, but God will reward you in Heaven with a treasure you can enjoy for eternity.

      1. Hi Laurie, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this and for joining the dialogue. you bring up a lot of great points here. i love that quote from Charles Spurgeon. i appreciate you sharing it. big hugs to you x

      2. Wow so you talked about many different topics. I don’t think it’s worth getting into it, but I don’t see it the way you do. My first topic when talking with a woman about Christ is not her clothing. My God that just reinforces the rape culture rhetoric the church has done a great job of perpetuating. I will never encourage a non-believer to “clean up her act” and “aspire” to something she doesn’t believe in. That takes time and trial and error. Where in Scripture is a woman’s clothing discussed in terms of covering up? Point me there, please. A man will literally be attracted to anything. Should we take responsibility for that? Also, yes women will lust after men. Not sure why you think otherwise but I for sure have lusted after men who are shirtless. Also, why do we assume that we know better than other cultures regarding “treating women and children”? Which culture are you referring to? Does the white American culture know better than the rest of the world? Christianity has become so infiltrated in American culture that it’s hard to extract the truth from it. Such a colonizer’s way of thinking. P.S. Jesus said love our neighbors AS OURSELVES. Pretty sure God wants us to love ourselves. How can we love our neighbors as ourselves if we don’t love ourselves? Be blessed. Peace.

  3. Your take on Oprah and her deity like status is spot on. It’s something I recognized years ago when she was doing her show. I’m really enjoying your blogs. God bless.

    1. Thank you so much friend! I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying my blogs. Have a great night XOXO

  4. Very true and deep. I couldn’t watch it for long, it disgusted me. Do as I say and not as I do…like they don’t even realize because they have been seeped in it for so long.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this topic! You’re right there are kind of some double standards going on I feel at times. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love XOXO

  5. I don’t know what to say and just a disclaimer, I am not trying to start an argument. I just wasn’t so convinced about the way you described the way they dressed up, yes it maybe is quite provocative, but shouldn’t society teach men to control themselves, before telling women to dress with modesty?

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this piece. That is really a great point and something to think about. It is definitely a tough subject with a lot of different viewpoints and perspectivespit! And I appreciate you sharing yours because this is a dialogue that I for one can learn something with! Hugs and love xox

    2. Shouldn’t society teach both men and women to control themselves? There are just as many raunchy women out there as there are raunchy men, both sides can be, and are often at fault concerning issues.

      1. That’s a good point, thank you for sharing you thoughts Mr. Smiff. Hugs and love xox

  6. This post is so important, with the amount of sexual harassment and objectification still happening everywhere for women!! Go you ✔️xxx

    1. Oh thank you so much Lottie! I really appreciate your encouragement and support. Hugs and love xox

  7. Amazingly well written blog post, and I didn’t watch any of the Golden Globes and was unaware of Oprah and her speech save a friend of mine posted something on Facebook about her becoming next President of the USA. I give that entire and culture a wide birth by choice. I agree with everything you have said… can I get an amen?

    1. Thanks Edward. Yeah there were a lot of oprah 2020 comments floating around today. Thanks so much. Hugs and love xox

  8. Very well said! I think last night gave us bloggers a lot to “talk” about. I have been very impressed with your well written posts about the craziness of life. You have a wise outlook for such a young person- a beautiful young woman inside and out! So nice to have found your blog!

  9. Seriously. Exactly. How can you honestly stand there, with your boobs hanging out and say, with a straight face, the words ‘women’ and ‘respect’ in the same sentence?! Not to mention the fact that they claim to empathize with oppressed women…when, for most of them, their biggest ‘issue’ is whether they get paid $1 million or $15 million. Wage gap, my ass. Pretty sure there are more pressing issues facing women in the world these days…and if I don’t have a real clue what those are in my comfortable, American, low/middle class life, then they certainly don’t. Appreciated your honest take. <3

    1. Aw thanks Kat. I appreciate your kind words and support. Yeah we all have so much be grateful for, especially in the grand scheme of things. Hugs and love xox

    1. Aw thank you so much. Yeah, a good person but def not God! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  10. Bravo. You echoed my sentiments exactly. Hollywood is speaking out against sexual harassment yet our prime time shows are still plagued with bachelors and bachelorettes being pawed over. Our movie theaters are selling out tickets to watch Mr Grey and his porn. No thank you. Last night was revolting, to say the least.

    1. Thank you Leah. I really appreciate it. Ugh, that movie franchise makes me sick 👎🏼 To think our middle school girls are watching that. So sad. Hugs and love xox

  11. I completely see your point, but then again, this is where the problem lies. Why should we women have to scrutinize and agonize over every article of clothing we wear so as not to be “temptresses” for men? Why can’t men respect women regardless of what is worn or not worn? Those celebrities last night were glammed up because it is a glamorous event. This does not mean the message they sent was any less powerful.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. That’s a great point and I appreciate you joining the dialogue on this important issue. Hugs and love xox

  12. I think there’s a silent majority that agree with you, and kudos to you for having the courage to speak a publicly unpopular opinion. I couldn’t watch the GG and their hypocrisy. Because of these Hollywood women, we have young girls that don’t understand boundaries, respect for their bodies, and respect for themselves. They push an ‘anything goes’ culture, much to the detriment of our young girls.

    They’re kidding themselves thinking they are champions of women. They’re champions of themselves, and whatever gives them publicity. Where were they when this was happening to their peers? What sacrifice did they make to protect their fellow women? Did they support the likes of Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey and Monica Lewinsky? Or did they join the chorus that made fun of them and publicly ruined them?

    These women are about the empty gestures. Wearing black changed nothing. Starting Time’s Up changes nothing. It takes each and every one of those women to be willing to sacrifice, and none of those women are. We’ve all seen the pictures of Oprah all chummy with Harvey, and yet that room was falling all over themselves for her. They’re emotion-driven; if a speech, or empty gesture, makes them feel good, they go with it, without the benefit of critical thinking.

    Where were the original Harvey accusers last night? Why didn’t any of those women invite them as their guests? Because this is nothing more than a publicity stunt on the backs of real women.

    1. Thank you PJ, I appreciate your support. Yeah – they are idolized by little girls. It broke my heart seeing the 11year old actress from stranger things all oversexualized and in a backless dress with heavy makeup. She is a child. A. Child. Makes my heart sad. You brought up so many great points. Thanks for sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox

  13. Well said. I didn’t watch it, and never have or never would myself. Just me, but I agree so much of what comes out of Hollywood is utter trash. I agree, and I applaud your stand. The church needs to show the world the difference by how we live, our values. Peter said they’ll think it strange (1 Peter 4, I think), but so be it.

    1. Thank you so much Ted. Yes they’ll think it very strange. Glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

  14. Usually I read your entire post, but I think I caught the gist of it. I would say I agree, but that would mean I watched the Golden Globe Awards. I didn’t. I could care less. Really. Really. Could. Care. Less.
    And I know I’m not alone. I don’t want or need a lecture from whoever the Celebrity of the Minute is. Today it’s Oprah, tomorrow it’s (insert name here). And we will get the same facile understanding of good moral conduct from people whose concept of good moral conduct matches whatever the contingencies of their careers dictate.
    Bottom line: I don’t care and I’m not alone in my indifference.

    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts David. And I appreciate your feedback! Hugs and love xox

  15. When I saw your first picture in this post I guessed “that’s what Golden “Globes” are.” Always On Target again and thank you for your post. The godlessness of television has made it such a sickening thing. And all content in general because it goes everywhere. You can’t just kill your TV anymore. God bless you you are a great writer. Amen to morality and prayers for return to it.

    1. Hahah oh gosh. Just a typical dress at the show 🤦🏻‍♀️ thanks for your thoughts and support. Means a lot. Hugs and love xox

  16. God’s truth is pure, holy and absolutely powerful in authority over every living being.
    Thank you sister for your honesty in bold fashion beautifully clothed and displayed.

  17. please keep in mind the general intentions of these privileged and wealthy stars…they have the spotlight, not us, and they’re trying to use it for our benefit…because we are greater as a diverse nation, we are greater as a nation that values all of us, not just the men, the white, the wealthy…

  18. One other thing: On women’s dress. In scripture to dress modestly in context was about not wearing expensive clothes, as if a woman needs that, but rather what’s in one’s heart (1 Timothy somewhere, I think). But I agree with your point about women and clothes, even if we all might draw lines a bit differently. Everything is sexualized, highly sexualized nowadays. The films, and so much else, most of which I never see. So I think it is good for a woman to think about what causes attention to herself in ways which might cause a brother in Christ to stumble, even if he really shouldn’t. And there has to be room for differences in how we approach and handle this, for sure. The point being not to get all hung up. It really doesn’t bother me to see a woman’s natural beauty in what she wears, which is part of God’s good creation. And you haven’t been prudish in how you dress either, Caralyn, which I think is a good counterpoint to anyone who might criticize your thought on women thinking twice before they wear just anything. And after the fall God did clothe Adam and Eve. Just me rambling. But thanks again for sharing this post, and for your stand.

    1. Thanks again Ted. Yeah these are really powerful points. And I will be the first to mitt that I don’t always dress as modestly as I should! Which also points to the truth of what you were saying. It does however make me sad to see the 11-year-old actress from stranger things all over sexualized in a backless dress and heavy make up. It’s sad that it’s starting that young. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!Have a great night XOXO

  19. So the glitterati were preening for the cameras, patting themselves on the backs because they aren’t like *those people* who are taking things too far. Yawn.

    On the point of choices made in attire, it seems like women and men keep arguing over who has to do what. It seems to me that each of us should be acting in a way that makes the other better. “I’ll do what I want but you better control yourself” is a bad deal no matter who says it.

    1. Oh boy JP that is the truth! After all, shouldn’t we all be trying to help one another get to heaven? Wink wink thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love XOXO

    1. Thank you so much! Chicago was a blast! It was so great to be there for my parents! Hugs and love XOXO

  20. So much to unpack… I don’t mean to derail your rant but I want to give you some feedback on the part, “…but it is an act of love and respect to help our brothers in Christ not fall into the trap of sin, and maybe one way of doing that is, I don’t know…not dressing like you work at a brothel.” This is from rape culture; “it puts the responsibility for a man’s lust and fantasies squarely on the shoulders of women.”
    Consider this: “Not only does Jesus say nothing about female culpability in a man’s fantasies, he absolutely destroys any excuses a man might make about his inability to control his own urges. No, Jesus says, a man’s culpability begins and ends with his own dang eyes and right hand.
    Jesus is always pointing back to the broken human heart as the spring from whence our sin comes. Men don’t lust because women are immodest. Men and women alike lust (aka covet) because we want what we can’t have.”
    The whole article is excellent and can be found at https://medium.com/@joelherbert/modest-is-hottest-is-not-in-the-bible-49b58ed1fdf6

    1. Thank you so much for thisPowerful response! You’ve provided some really insightful points that I’m going to be thinking about for a long time. That’s a great point about lust. I look forward to reading that article. Thanks for passing it along. Hugs and love xox

      1. haha well, that’s a solid number if you ask me 🙂 #michaeljordan 🙂

  21. Thank you for your post. I have stopped watching these award shows many years ago because it is no longer about the awards but about personal anti-America politics.

    1. Thank you for your thoughts. That’s very true – it can feel anti-American. Hugs and love xox

  22. I believe that God is exposing our sins, both national and in the church. I think He’s giving us a chance to confront our darkness and seek His light.

    Even though I believe that, I also believe that it’s complicated.

    On the one hand, men need to just straight up control themselves. A woman can be walking down the middle of the street, naked, at noon and nobody has the “right” to touch her. (I know you don’t believe that; just an example). On the other hand, we women need to stop playing the “game” and demand respect, which starts with respecting ourselves, even if it costs us position, power, money or influence. On the third hand, the “game” exists because men have so much trouble seeing women as equals (I speak very generally, of course) and they are the ones who predominately control advertising, fashion, etc. It’s all very messy.

    I don’t have a problem with actors/actresses or any other “elite” people addressing these issues, but you aren’t wrong when you point out their hypocrisy. But maybe, at least for some of them, this season of turmoil marks a turning point, a time of discovery and change. I hope so.

    1. Ooops, wasn’t totally clear in my comment. I meant to say that I don’t you don’t believe that anyone has a right to harm women for any reason.

    2. Thank you so much for this thoughtful response, Marie. you’re so right – it is very very complicated with a lot of emotion involved. I hope so too. thanks for sharing your heart 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  23. Wow. Your opening paragraph is powerful as is this entire post. Thank you so very much for telling the truth about these folks and about Hollywood. Actors of old would likely be disgusted by what Hollywood puts out today. Not much good these days. Mostly trash. God bless you and your family!! ❤️

    1. oh John, thank you so much for your support and kindness. Yeah, not something i would want my future kids to be absorbing. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  24. Amen!!!!! You are what gives me hope for this nation when I am dead!!! I watched about 2 seconds of it and I was done!

    The thing that gets me about “some” of these women who have been sexually abused by a boss, or the like, have waited 40 or more years to report it. And I actually heard one say this when asked why. “Because it was my dream job.” What???????????????????

    If a boss would have ever done that to me after he tried to get a tissue for his busted lip, then he would of had to hire someone else for that position of being his “play thing.” Then, he would of had a lot of explaining to do after I told his wife. Then he would have to get a dang good lawyer after I sued the hell out of him, for costing me my job, and it would not of taken me 40-50 years to do so!!!!

    Not that a woman is ever responsible for sexual abuse, but when you do not do something about it, and you allow it to happen to others, that to me, is on their shoulders.

    I am like you, do not talk to me about sexual abuse while your crotch, butt, and boobs are hanging out, and tell me, “How you are so against it.” The Bible also says, “We are never to lead others into temptation.” If that is not temptation then would someone please explain to me what is????

    As far as Oprah, puh-lease??? The thing that gets me about her for a long time now, (and I used to really like her) is she thinks she speaks for “everyone.” When she said, “My mother’s generation would have to die before racism was gone,” that one got me!

    When my Mom died I wanted to ask her, “Are you happy now, bc I sure the hell am not?”

    Well done and you know I love you. God Bless, SR

    1. thank you so much SR! ha, i don’t mean to laugh, but your description of what you would do definitely made me smile. You’re right though – she does not speak for me or any of the other christian women I know. Don’t get me wrong, I think she is a good person and has contributed some wonderful things and benevolence to society, however her version of “Christianity” is actually not christianity at all, and it is leading people away from God, not to Him. that’s really powerful about your mother. thanks for sharing that. hope you have a great night, and thanks for your encouraging words and support. means a lot. Hugs and love xox

      1. I agree her “beliefs” have nothing to do with Christianity. It is just like you get to God by any means, and Jesus said, “He was the only way to the Father.”

        Doing “good” things does not always make us a Christian. I have some Hindu friends who I love and adore, but would never correlate their beliefs as “Christian.” Nor do they refer to themselves as such.

        We have to be very careful on who we listen to today.

        You know you can laugh all you want, as you know that is exactly what would of happened! LOL! I think you have known me long enough to know that. Love you and God Bless, SR

      2. amen! The Way, The Truth, and The Life!! That’s so true. and yes! i do know that that is definitely how it would have gone down 😉 thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

    1. thank you so much Melanie!! i’m so glad this resonated with you. thanks for your feedback! Hugs and love xox

  25. I feel the exact same way as you, but my peeve is guns / weapons. Now, while I don’t hunt I have many friends who do, and I have no problem with it. What I do have a problem with is all of these stars who made their money shooting guns in movies (guns that you can’t get legally) then speak out against guns (hello Matt Damon, Sean Connery, Arnold Schwarzenegger). Now pardon me while I load up my rapid-fire assault longbow and do some target shooting.

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I have never that about that angle of the issue, but there’s a powerful point there! big hugs xox

  26. Here, here! My prayer, beyond politics or campaign platforms, beyond partisanship or lobbying and special interest control is that the leaders we are offered come from a more compassionate, Christian background with a real mission for delivering America back to her truest potential. Oprah doesn’t fit the bill. Trump doesn’t fit the bill. Hopefully we’ll all get the chance, one day, to elect a leader that can champion women, minorities and all the disaffected without it feeling so hollow.

    Keep up the awesome posts!

    1. thank you so much of sharing your thoughts on this. I will absolutely join you in that prayer. yeah – i feel you!! hugs to you x

  27. Thank you for your post. I was feeling a lot of the same things you said as I watched the awards last night. So glad that I am not a lone.

    1. thank you so much Andy, I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this and for your support. have a great night! big hugs x

  28. Oh dear. You should really leave politics out of your recovery discourse. I have bitterly disagreed with you before, and I’ll do it again because so many if not all of the points made in this post about feminist ideology and women’s right to their own bodies are really misguided. I can recommend some good books or articles for you about the ever-changing discourse of feminist intersectionality. (Audre Lorde is a good place to start)

    This type of rhetoric about women’s dress is the same as ‘she asked for it’ with regard to sexual violence victims and what they were wearing; and as for ‘having it good’–sorry but saying we have it good here because marriage equality exists and women can vote is still not enough? We have it good COMPARED to some countries around the world, but women (and gay folks, and trans folks, and people of color, and disabled people, and mentally ill people, and poor people, and formerly incarcerated people, and noncitizens, and people of non-Christian faith) are still grossly marginalized if not violently discriminated against in this country. I for one will not ignore that simply because another nation has worse human rights practices. There is no hierarchy of oppression.

    Women objectifying THEMSELVES is a choice, and that’s what makes it acceptable. When women are objectified via the male gaze or for profit because they are pressured by an industry or individual, that’s a problem. Being clothed or unclothed doesn’t drain a woman of her self-respect. Self-respect is self-defined, individual. I appreciate your passion, but I can’t really vibe with the fact that your tone implies that *your* specific morals are universally shared and forgive me, but it embodies Christian arrogance.

    I thought Oprah’s speech was a mess, but for radically different reasons than this goody-high-horse-respectability-politics rant. Her, Meryl Streep, and many MANY others who wore black are hypocrites–they either have worked on movies with actors or producers or directors who were directly involved in a sexual assault or act of harassment, abetted rapists in the industry, or were responsible for violence against women themselves. She talked a great game up there, but her history of baiting many of the women victimized by Harvey Weinstein says more than enough about her actions and her words. Same goes for Meryl Streep, Gal Gadot, and even Justin Timberlake, who was recently cast in a Woody Allen film.

    I truly hope you can expand upon your ‘definition’ of feminism and what the true essence of intersectionality is.


    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I truly appreciate you joining the dialogue, because there really are so many different perspectives and viewpoints to this emotional and passionate issue. I will definitely have to start with Lorde’s book, thank you for the recco. That is a powerful point – there is no hierarchy in oppression. Thank you for this great food for thought. Lots to think about. so glad you stopped by. big hugs to you xox

      1. “Sister Outsider” is her great collection of essays, where you will find her most important thoughts. Some of my favorite quotes in general have come from her work. I hope you get much out of it!!

      2. awesome, i look forward to looking into it!! have a great night xox

      3. Hey BBB,

        So true “there is no hierarchy in oppression.” There also is no sane mind which “tolerates” everything for the sake of “tolerance.” That is until your “everything” disagrees with theirs.

        At one time in history in this nation and others “women” needed to fight for their rights. The right to vote, work, and show their ankles, is what they were fighting for, among many other things. I will hold these women up as long as I live especially those in the early 1900’s. We are living off of what they did.

        These women were placed in jail, lost their children and horrible things happened to them. Force feeding, death, and the like.

        But…they did not set themselves up as a “golden god” to be worshiped and adored. To tell you the truth I cannot stand them! I am a woman and have never had trouble being one, or had trouble bc I am one. I think for myself, do for myself,and my work is what I want to do, but… I never tell another “woman” she is “woman” and she “ought to roar.”

        Some women are so full of themselves just bc of their gender, it’s sickening to me. I mean get out here and do what Mother Teresa did, then tell me how “wonderful you are!”

        As far as you having “Christian Arrogance,” that one got my dander up! That is what I mean when someone wants another to “tolerate” everything. When it comes to them “tolerating” us, then we are “arrogant.” I always tell them, “tolerate me,” as that is your living standards.

        As my uncle (WWII vet) said as I told you before, “Everyone in this nation needs WWII here for one week, then they would shut up and be thankful for what they have.”

        I tell you this right now, I will die before I EVER let another person think and speak for me. Don’t you ever leave politics, your faith, our Church or anything else out of your blog bc someone disagrees with you! Or in your life!!! Texas will be coming to NY and PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ME DO THAT! LOL!

        That is what happens when they do not agree with you, they try and “shut you up!” Yet, we must listen to them over and over and over. Love you and God Bless, SR

      4. hahah thank you SR – that’s such a great point. We are living off of the humble work they did. Key word, humble. thanks again, friend. much love to you! x

      5. The in between queen,

        I do not know if you are addressing me or not but since you placed the word “tolerating” in there I did not know. However do not ever think you will EVER in your life tell me who to address or what to say as that will never happen!!!! The day I give you that kind of control over my life is the 8th day of the week which is NEVER!

        You have the wrong person here if you EVER in your life think I will allow you to do that!

        Now you have been addressed and that should make you happy! SR

  29. Hello my friend, you choose an exact point to show to the brainless people who act and project themself as cool but really horrible. This is your most best post in your entire blog as i read them all every time with every comments too. Impressed and you are the best representative of your beautiful country for now. Cheers

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your support and encouragement. it seriously means the world. Cheers to you too, friend! Hugs and love xox

      1. Only when other 100s of other females have same vision the country really can change to the best shape. Thank you for the quick response. I really not expected i can receive an answer from you. Keep writing with you more power and smiles.

      2. very true – a band of voices will bring about a change! thanks again x

  30. I didn’t watch the award show, but so Oprah’s speech on youtube as a trending with the whole #timesup deal. I was like, wait, is this a new thing? I can’t keep up.
    And I like how one actress was like… I will count time as before Oprah, and before Oprah…(move over Jesus) ::insert sarcasm::
    Anyways, thank you for this. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one with the same sentiment.

    1. thank you so much, yeah it is definitely hard to keep up with. thanks for sharing your thoughts. big hugs xo

  31. God bless you my friend for speaking the truth as many of us see it. The sayings, “practice what you preach”,” lead by example”, ” actions speak louder than words” all come to mind when I see many people, who have a platform. Sadly, it seems to be, “do as I say not as I do” God bless you 🙂

    1. thank you so much Margaret – I truly appreciate your support and kind words. hope you have a great night. big hugs xo

      1. My pleasure, as always. I was away for a bit but I’m being blessed catching up with every one. I know, that you know, this will probably be a can of worms but God moved you to post it. He will certainly bless you for doing what He wants you to do.

      2. oh good! well, happy reading! haha – a can of worms indeeeeeed heheh Hugs and love xox

  32. I think the conversation about modesty as a way of advocating for women’s rights and empowerment is important one. And I am glad you made that connection. But I think it has to be different conversation than the one about rights and sexual assault. I’m sorry you experienced the challenges of having your career limited by taking stances about not doing nudity, sex scenes, etc. You are courageous and that should be honored. It saddens me even more that you experienced assault in the form of unwanted advances. Your own story shows how pervasive the assault addressed by #metoo is and how important speaking out is regardless of the imperfections and inconsistencies of the communicator. I have come to accept that truth ought to be celebrated as true even if the person stating the truth is inconsistent, or even hypocritical. I believe there’s more we can celebrate about the light being shone on the need to treat women like the image of God they are even if it’s coming from people who on many fronts I disagree with. We must find common ground where it exists so that we can effectively point out disagreement where it does well. That approach has helped me resist my urge to see those who don’t yet see the light as enemies and appreciate them. That has also prompted them to learn more from me as well.

    1. thank you so much for this thoughtful response. there’s so much powerful food though thought here. you’re right, truth should definitely be celebrated. thank you for your kindness, friend. big hugs x

  33. While I’m not exactly a Golden Globes supporter (the entire telecast and nominations are based on the access that celebrities give the HFP) I was surprised at how effective the all black dresses effort was to at the very least bring about an awareness for the #MeToo movement and to show that this years telecast based on the events of 2017 would not go on “as business as usual.” First of all, that photo of Mandy Moore is from Last Years show?! And I found all of the women’s dresses this year to be absolutely tasteful and elegant. Also, Oprah is at Deity stature because she single handed changed the face of television, film, pop culture, racism and has done so much for HUMANITY that it would take hours to to distill it all. Your sweeping generalizations are lost on me.

      1. I’m sorry you feel that way. i believe that everyone has the right to their own beliefs, and i respect that. I’m just sharing my beliefs, that’s all. no forcing here 🙂

      2. I know. But in sharing, you’re also assuming that others share them with you and it kind of makes all that is being addressed get lost. Again, forgive my probably perceived harshness; it’s just hard to feel like I’m reading a logical argument while there’s so much theology and relative morality jammed into every point.

      3. It is very interesting that you take the time out of your day to write (attack) someones blog yet yours is without content. If your attack is based off of your standpoint you should put it down in writing and prepare for the same. As for your assumption let me define the word for you so you have something to dwell on ASS-u-ME. Don’t just don’t, you make yourself look bad in so many ways.

      4. Without content? I have 44 posts on my blog, dude. And putting hyphens between syllables does not constitute definition, so I’m not really sure what the point is here. Myself and the OP have a long history of political difference and I already clarified the absence of ill-intention; these are all moot points. I put my thoughts down in writing in several different comments. Insulting my intelligence does nothing but perpetuate the very same attitude you’re accusing me of having—which makes you look equally bad—I’m not insulted by your aggressiveness whatsoever.

    1. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this emotional issue. you bring up a lot of great points that I definitely will think about. yeah, it definitely successfully started a conversation and i think that was a big thing they set out to do. i was unaware of that, about Mandy’s dress — it must have been incorrectly credited on the website i found it, because i definitely would not have chosen an erroneous photo. sorry about that. 🙂 any who, thanks again for joining the dialogue!. big hugs to you xox

    1. wow, thank you so much for this awesome encouragement, Amy. it means a lot. big hugs xo

    1. hahah – sorry — no offense meant at that! just trying to be funny 🙂 hehe thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  34. Also; in no way did I mean to frame or attack YOU as arrogant/uneducated or seem blatantly rude; but there is a lot of room for learning about this in a way that respects all bodies without delivering shame and integrating it into the conversation you aim to have through this post. But the idea of ‘respectable’ being conflated with your Christianity errs on the side of egocentric and makes the rest of your points a little tough to chew on. Your views and very religious perspective on the world are yours, but I got really lost in all the proselytizing.

    1. oh i totally get you! 🙂 that’s so so true – there is a lot of room for learning, and I am absolutely open to that! that’s one of the important things about dialogue is that everyone shares where they’re coming from and their experiences, and there’s room to grow and understand. so thank you, for contributing. means a lot 🙂 have a great night!

  35. Amen to this 1000 times over!! I didn’t watch, cause I really have no taste for Hollywood or much of the trash that comes out of it, but appreciate your take on it.

    1. thank you so much Jen 🙂 So glad that it resonated with you 🙂 big hugs to you xo

  36. I have to agree with you. I’m tired of celebrities, m or f, being looked on as gods. They are enttertauners, no more, no less. Oprah is not qualified to Be President. Trump has Showed The Danger Of Having An Unqualified President.

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Walt. You’re so right about that!! there’s only ONE God! amen! Hugs and love xox

  37. MIRACLE YELLO…!!! How are you doing my friend? And my goodness…I love this post so much, I am going to repost it. Yep! Thank you for this wonderful post.

    1. haha thank you so much Ish!!! so glad you enjoyed it 🙂 and thanks for passing it along! that really means a lot! Hugs and love xox

  38. So true, everything you wrote. Great post. It takes courage now to speak up and point out when things are not right and hippocrytical. Thanks for sharing all your stories and life lessons. I love reading your blog.

    1. thank you so much friend, i really appreciate your kind words and support. yeah, bit of an unpopular take, but i just had to! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  39. Hello,
    Thank you for your post and for the time you take to give insight, educate, guide and expose your deepest feelings. It is this heart felt giving, that deserves the attention not the attack that some may place on you.

    Comments like “This type of rhetoric about women’s dress is the same as ‘she asked for it’ with regard to sexual violence victims and what they were wearing; and as for ‘having it good’–sorry but saying we have it good here because marriage equality exists and women can vote is still not enough? We have it good COMPARED to some countries around the world, but women (and gay folks, and trans folks, and people of color, and disabled people, and mentally ill people, and poor people, and formerly incarcerated people, and noncitizens, and people of non-Christian faith) are still grossly marginalized if not violently discriminated against in this country. I for one will not ignore that simply because another nation has worse human rights practices. There is no hierarchy of oppression.” should try to make sense of their own before they attack others.

    You have a gift and you have taken time to give this to those in need, wether it is noticed or not. I for one enjoy your posts and would never compare a comment you have made to “sexual violence victim”. But hey if your only path in life is to try and correct people or persuade them to your own opinion then attacking them on their blog is just the job for you.
    Keep up the great work and never let the weak try and sway you to their hidden agenda.
    Here are my definitions as requested by the above stated. I have expanded!
    French, literally “woman,” from Old French feme, from Latin femina “woman, a female,” literally “she who suckles,” from PIE root *dhe(i)- “to suck.”

    *dhē(i)-, Proto-Indo-European root meaning “to suck.”

    -ism “distinctive doctrine, theory, or practice,” 1670s, the suffix -ism used as an independent word, chiefly disparagingly.

    Medical Definition:
    -ism “A medical condition or a disease resulting from or involving some specified thing”

    1. Hi Benson, thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response. there’s so much powerful food for thought here that i am definitely going to spend time thinking about. thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Hugs and love xox

  40. There is truth and gratitude for your advice to women not to dress so tempting to their brothers as sexual addiction is a very real problem. Thank you.

      1. And I love your blog title! Living from an emotional field of Beauty is the best choice for me.

  41. Spot on. When these stories of sexual assault came out, everyone was surprised, but I wasn’t. They’ve created a culture promoting promiscuity, loose relationships, and focus on objectifying women. It doesn’t make assault right, but it does create an environment for such things to happen. Good thoughts here!

    1. thank you so much Elihu. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and joining the conversation. big hugs x

  42. I am not much of a commenter, but I felt inclined to comment on this one. I want to start by stating that I feel for any and every woman who has been harassed, who has been made to feel unsafe, who has been the victim of unwanted advances, bullying, etc. It is a horrific and terrible thing. I honestly don’t care how much you “objectify” yourself. You have the right to feel safe, you have the right to live a life free of this sort of animalistic behavior, the right to be an individual. I wholeheartedly believe that we are, as Jefferson once penned, endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There have been a culture in so many areas where women have been robbed of this basic understanding of freedom and liberty because predators and bully derived their pleasure from asserting their power and dominance while robbing women of their dignity.

    Now, with that being said, I agree with you wholeheartedly that you cannot put on a black dress and claim that you are the champion of women’s rights when the truth shows something else. I am not just talking about Harvey Weinstein, who so many in Hollywood covered for for so many years when it helped their careers, until it suddenly helped their career to denounce him. I am talking about the fact that they still champion Woody Allen, or spent years defending Roman Polanski, knowing exactly who these men were. Yet now they want us to believe they are somehow sincere.

    The truth is that there is a degree of hypocrisy here from a culture of silence as they wear their black dresses and make their speeches. In the meantime how many women fell victim to their silence over the years?

    I don’t know, I am with you, this whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.

    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response, Wyatt. That’s so true – so many of the victims do not have a fancy black dress to put on or a podium from which to speak. thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

      1. Sure thing. And just so you know, just because I believe they should be allowed to do as they will free of harassment, or others abusing their power, doesn’t mean I think its right they do. Just because something can be done doesn’t mean it should be done. There is a reason why God gives us standards. As a loving Father He does so to protect us, knowing the way that this world is and what it can be like out there. Wisdom is a responsible use of our freedom as it were.

  43. Glad you tackled this with such a large and loyal following. I personally do not watch award shows – any of them. I will occasionally Youtube a particular performance from some of the music awards but that is it. You hit a couple great points – the dress code for example: society objectifies women with the clothing (less of it) that they seek out to wear for one purpose – ATTENTION. COME ON MAN 🙂 The other is taking advantage of the grand stage of television by over paid actors to spew their opinions on the very people supporting their lifestyle – moviegoers. I am also not a fan of actors putting down the President – like him or hate him,,,he’s better than Hillary on her best day. Thanks for sharing but I’ll pass on the Oprah speech – don’t care.

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, like him or leave him, he’s our president, and we should rally behind him, not try to tear him down. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  44. This blog is on point. I too, have admired Oprah for her many accomplishments but God, she is not. Those who worship her or any other celebrity (or person) don’t understand the difference between the two words, admire and worship.

    1. thank you so much Stephanie! Im so glad it hit home with you. that’s a very very true statement!! Hugs and love xox

  45. wow….Different opinions towards this. “This” not being in disregard of the obvious as far as promiscuity, Hollywood’s provocation of sex and so forth but the lack of humility via outrage… surprised at the comments… the bible is YES clear on the meekness of daughters in Christ. Their beauty being found in their obedience, and FAITH, where God then gives her favor. Our bodies being a respectable temple for the Lord. The only thing that made me cringe was not the subject matter but the tone of rebuke, which is the primary reason non-believers have a perspective of condemnation towards Christ. and this is important because only God can give them the type of.conviction they need to change from the inside out… so to see a Christian dissect them is a misleading depiction of Him.

    I don’t expect much from many of these women as far as understanding the basics of modest dress not only because many of them may not be saved but also due to the fact that many ANNOINTED women in Christ who may still be struggling with other facets of life, are still extremely called, and extremely favored.

    I guess what I’m saying is we are expected to pray for those who don’t understand/choose a non-righteous path but more importantly tearing apart others who are simply lost… is something God just doesn’t do lol.

    Their intent in supporting the preservation of women was in the right place. Sexual provocation is never =/= validated assault however NEITHER is God’s absence from afflicted women who’ve been victims regardless if they’ve worn a crop top or been on a stripper pole. God. Cares.

    I have my own reservations towards those with such platforms having God’s covering to begin with. So I can’t expect much. And as far as Oprah, Ive recently seen her to be more New Age. there’s God and then there’s God the Father of our Savior Jesus. I’ve been an Oprah fan forever and she’s definitely gone above and beyond in service but (and I may be wrong) I don’t necessarily recall as of recent her acknowleding God as Christ. This “God within us” is at best an occult lie.

    1. Hi Christina, thank you for your thoughts on this topic. i appreciate you joining the dialogue. i’m sorry that you feel I was dissecting them. That was not my intent at all. That is such a great point – we are to pray for them – what a powerful reminder, thank you for that. Amen – God cares. thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this. hugs x

  46. Oprah’s speech and the audience’s response was far from “praising” but more like congratulatory and inspirational. I find it intriguing how when a black woman is congratulated people are over doing it. The speech Oprah did was tailored to women, of all colors, and beliefs. It was revolutionary and a reminder for women to stand within their own power. Doing the exact same thing you are doing through sharing your journey and story. I grew up as a Christian however people are taking “their” religions to a whole other level. Just because someone is not Christian does not mean their beliefs are trash. Christianity is about love of all. Dismissing what someone else believes in is only stunting your own personal evolution. It is nice for us to see light portrayed in so much darkness including the presidential issues we currently have. I apologize as I was caught off guard on your perspective of this historical event, but in a way you gave and took away a compliment that was well deserved. By the way I did see the side note of the “preaching” comment made. I just hope your “God” allows you to be open minded and hearted to people and their differences.

    1. Hi K, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m sorry that you thought I was taking away her accomplishment. that was not at all my intent. Like I said, her career is very impressive and her story is incredibly inspiring. And she absolutely deserved that award. there were just some other things about the night that rubbed me the wrong way. But I appreciate you joining the conversation. this is obviously an emotional issue with lots of different perspectives and insights, and i appreciate you sharing yours. i respect and am open to everyone’s different positions, and am grateful to have the opportunity to learn from others! big hugs to you xox

    2. Well said! I find it amazing that because it was Oprah so much time went into an entire post diverting from the sound and prolific words she spoke. Nope, I don’t think she’s a god, but I do think she’s a phenomenal human being that has reached a platform to be a positive voice and an inspiration to so many. The story she told about Recy Taylor, who was abducted and raped by six white men after walking home from church wasn’t even mentioned. This points back to the comments about dress. I’m pretty certain that in 1944 this woman was conservatively dressed and even so, it did not matter. She was disrespected and taken advantage of because some low life men felt it a right to destroy her in one night. I’m disappointed that the importance of Oprah’s speech was overridden with accusations of her being a god instead. She’s worked hard to get where she is and deserves credit for it. As a black woman I am proud of her and always will be. As a Christian, God works on each person in His own way and because their life doesn’t look like the generalizations made in this post, doesn’t mean He loves them less.

      1. Thank you so much this powerful response. You really bring up some terrific points. I am right there with ya – Oprah’s personal story is incredibly inspiring and has been a powerful role model for women and men a like. Her career is obviously outstanding and she is 1000% deserving of that award. And Taylor’s story is so heartbreaking and really makes me ashamed of the racial history of our country. We’ve come a long way since then, praise God, but I also know that we have a ways to go, too. And i pray that that story affects the hearts of those who listened to seek justice and respect and to help work towards an existence where that horrific tragedy never happens again. As to not bringing it up in my post, I simply ran out of room. I like to keep my posts under 1000 words and this was already over by 300. I apologize for not including something so monumental in the text. Thank you for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

  47. A great post! Thank you for saying what most of us are thinking about the GG charade. Another thing that is just gross is the fact that they’re now promoting the sequel to Fifty Shades of Gray, whilst supposedly championing women. FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY. They made themselves irrelevant by their glaring hypocrisy long ago.

    1. thank you so much Sarah! i appreciate your kind words and support. i know – i saw that too – makes me so sad to think of the young girls seeing that and internalizing that you must be into that type of thing to interest or appeal to a man. so so so sad. hypocrisy. Hugs and love xox

  48. You are brave for posting your views on this and I applaud you for your sincerity. I know you have visited my blog frequently and for that I am grateful. To say that you and I grew up differently is an understatement. We are both white females and identify as Christians so there is some overlap but probably not much more. I make the point because it effects an individual’s perspective. And it caused me to take exception with some things you wrote.

    “This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.”

    Yes many people in America have it good, better than most of the world. However, circumstances vary greatly for individuals even in this fine country. Kids are starving here, children are beaten, abused, homeless and broken. Sex-trafficking is a huge issue, drug abuse, poverty, racism, discrimination, cults, you name it. Every bad thing you can imagine and then some exists here. As for clean water – the people of Flint, Michigan would disagree with you. Not everyone has access to clean food and water, not by a long shot. Health care is not a given either – especially now when it is dangling by a thread for millions of people that depend on subsidies. We can go to college – sure we can, if we can afford it or excel greatly academically or in athletics enough to get a scholarship. Not everyone can go to college here, it’s out of reach for a lot of people. The idea that people can hold any job they choose is also idealistic…go back to my point on college.

    I’m just pointing this out because not everyone has walked in your shoes or mine. Everybody goes through this life with their own experiences and you can look at someone today and not have any idea how they got to be the person they are in that moment. It took them a lifetime to get to that moment. You are free to judge the women and what they were wearing and make assumptions about them based on what you see on TV. I’m going to opt out of doing that because I don’t know their individual stories. We are on different paths.

    That said I think celebrities are taken too seriously, given too much adoration and that as a society our collective obsession is too much. I would much rather see our focus go to philanthropist or scientist making cutting edge breakthroughs in curing diseases. Instead people dress up in sports team colors and watch the Kardashians….it is disappointing.

    As far as celebrities go I think Oprah is one of the better ones. All of the charitable work she has done in the world…all the lives she has had a positive impact on, it’s kind of extraordinary. Perhaps you don’t think she is a Christian – I’m not sure if she considers herself one and honestly, I don’t think I’m qualified to decide. There’s one God and it’s not me.

    1. Hi Bryce, thank you so much for this powerful response. you’ve really given me a lot to think about. and i apologize if my words were offensive to you. i agree, that oprah has done a lot a lot of good for the world and is a good person. Amen – there is only One God. so true. thanks for joining the dialogue. big hugs xo

      1. You didn’t offend me and I hope I did not offend you. I think it is great to be able to see a situation from different perspectives and be able to have a civil conversation. Not enough of that these days. Hugs back. XO

      2. ok good! no offense here either 🙂 I agree. Having an open and respectful dialogue is so important. especially on these emotional issues! have a great night, and thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  49. Yes! I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but I have heard enough to be thankful of that. I find celebrities to be so hypocritical. They can talk a big talk but preach against things that they themselves partake in. I’m so tired of hearing people glorify celebrities and celebrate them for things like this.

    1. thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, Carla. I appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

  50. Great article, I fully agree with everything you said. I got a little concerned when you began “Oprah is a child of God………….” I was pleased to see you convey what she is preaching is not of God. Oprah’s preaching mixed with a political ambition is apocalyptic. To many people lift Oprah up high, not on a pedestal, but atop a mountain. That may appear to sound like the chicken little theory; believe me it is a dangerous combination. After her sermon, Christians must stand up and refute her sermon before it gains traction. There is no doubt that she is testing the political waters (swamp) & rest assured if she thinks she has 1% chance of winning she will make a run. In today’s political climate which is extremely volatile, Oprah on a presidential ticket, you can bet it will not be a grassroots movement, it will be a militant movement. In no way am I sharing these thoughts from a prejudicial view, but I will raise red flags based on Oprah’s influential political associations, community organizers, & a large viewing audience. Not to mention HARPO Studios & deep deep pockets and if she runs out of money George Soros and other prominent donations will be available. Not trying to be a conspiracy nut job; just trying to wake people up now before it is to late. God Bless & thank you for your wonderful insights.

    1. Thank you M. Yes – she is a child of God, just like all of us, but she is not leading people *to* God. A dangerous combination indeed. thanks for sharing your thoughts! God bless! Hugs and love xox

  51. Many of the reasons you gave are why I can’t watch award shows amd most of Hollywood’s productions. The attire of many of the women is completely inappropriate. And then complain about sexual harrassment in the industry? Ridiculous! Thank you for your most valid observations!

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. yeah, when you put it like that, the hypocrisy definitely is as clear as day! big hugs xo

  52. Caralyn, thank you for boldly expressing your viewpoint. Too often we turn our head the other way and don’t stand up to be counted. Although I didn’t follow the Golden Globe, I really see the truth of what you are saying. I’m looking forward to a time when society at large will stand for righteousness and integrity. This time is coming. xoxox

    1. thank you so much friend, i really appreciate your support and kind words. I look forward to that time as well 🙂 big hugs to you xox

    1. gosh, thank you Chris. I appreciate such generous and kind words. have a great night. Hugs and love xox

  53. How honest of you! I’m not against causes, someone has to speak out against abuse in any form and there is too much silence about some of the terrible things going on in our world today as we take the attitude “It doesn’t affect me!” But it does. When we refuse to acknowledge and speak out against we devalue ourselves. You nailed the issue well. If we are to speak out then do it when it happens, not years later to get on a bandwagon to draw attention to yourself as a self-promotional. Yes I know, they were too scared to say anything before. Well all reformers were scared but they acted. Case in point Gandhi and Mandela. One pays a price for honesty but it does eventually change the world. I admire Oprah but she would not make a good president. She doesn’t have a compromising or criminal mind and you need that to be a politician.:)

    1. thank you so much Ian! I appreciate your kind words and support. you’re right – too much silence! Hugs and love xox

  54. Fresh air, right there. Integrity is all about sticking to principles no matter what offers are on the table. It’s just regrettable that many people adopt the principles of celebrities with little integrity.

  55. I couldn’t agree more with your post. Moreover, Oprah like many of the other people in Hollywood knew what was going on and chose to ignore it – until know. That’s an important fact that people tend to brush aside.

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. thats a very good point. Hugs and love xox

  56. Hi Caralyn. Wow. People do get stirred up when you share truth, and your thoughts. My wife and I never do watch any of the award shows, but we see enough and hear enough of the goings on by watching the news casts the following day.
    It is difficult to watch a high percentage of programs now, (except hockey) 😀, that would not have been rated 18+ when I was young.
    Anyway, back to the show etc., I admire you for many things Caralyn, and if possible the admiration went up another level as I read your post. Standing up for your beliefs, modesty, morality, and voicing them to a wide audience as you do, well, you are an amazing young lady. I have no doubt that in your acting career there have been many situations presented to you that were disgusting and sickening. And there are probably more roles to turn down than actually accept. Even at times, we have been blindsided by starting to watch a movie that appeared to have a good or interesting story line, but it seems sex is often thrown in to attract more attention or something, even when it does nothing for the story line.
    Thank you also for standing up for your Christian faith, Caralyn, you are amazing in that area also, and not following the “new age” of Oprah and others, who allow themselves to be placed on a throne as god, if they don’t put themselves there first.
    Those who do that should read Acts 12:21-23 and see what the True Triune God things of that, and His actions.
    Anyway, back to the award show again, well the news today actually. As we were watching the TV news today, and some of the participants were being shown in there black stylish clothes, I said to Barb, my wife, “for those who are protesting, they sure let everything fall out anyway.”
    One last note to a number of your followers who responded, I agree completely, men have no right to take advantage of ladies because of the way of dress, or the power the men hold, and it is disgusting when the attempt is made. But ladies, please respect yourself, don’t show your bodies to everyone, respect your husband, or future husband in this way.
    Men should not dress provocatively either, and should show respect.
    Thank you again Caralyn.
    God Bless You,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️

    1. What a kind and thoughtful response, George. Thank you with all my heart. So you know, i never take your kindness or support for granted. I am truly grateful. I always love hearing your thoughts and you express them so respectfully and insightfully. any who – i fully agree with you on everything here. thanks again for stopping by! big big hugs to you xox

      1. Caralyn, never change unless the True Triune God gives you the directive to change, with confirmation in His Word. Obviously, as has been seen, some are attempting to dissuade you. Proof again, God approves of you and your writing, and is blessing you, and Holy Spirit, God Himself as well, is guiding you. Praying for you my Friend, for Protection as attacks come, Strength as an Overcomer in Christ, Boldness to share and proclaim Christ as the Spirit leads.
        God’s Abundant Blessings Caralyn.
        Luv. 😀🌹❤️

      2. Hi again, dear friend. oh thank you again. Your prayers are so appreciated. Since day one, every time i’ve sat down to write a post, i literally say, “OK Holy Spirit, tell me what to say.” And then I kid you not, the words just flow. I don’t even reread it to edit the post other than a measly spell check. I truly cannot take credit for any of my work! I thank you for your continued support and friendship. you rock 🙂 have a great night xo

      1. hahaha uhhh, actually yes. some nights more than others. but I’m a solid 8 hour kind of girl 🙂 hehehe bedtime is rapidly approaching!! 🙂 xox

  57. Caralyn, I’m a rape survivor, and I think you did an EXCELLENT job with this article. You nailed all the problems in our society over sexual assault with grace. My favorites include how you brought into light about clothing and how clothing doesn’t mean we’re asking for it. However, I’d like to piggyback off of your article by saying this….

    Men are more visually stimulated. God created them to be that way, and in Genesis Chapter 1 the Bible repeatedly says God’s creation is good. A man being visually stimulated is a good thing. But, sexual assault/rape is an act of VIOLENCE, not sex. (I’m putting violence in caps for others to understand the difference). A woman choosing to dress modestly for her brothers in Christ, and to set an example to unbelievers is a Biblical, honorable and respectable choice. Women in Hollywood, in general, should have more respect for their bodies and keep in mind how others will perceive them….and for being in such a high position…they need to keep in mind how their clothing choices impact the way society views sexual assault. I personally feel it gives rapists an excuse to rape (she was asking for it by her clothing) and I personally feel it condones rape. Most sexual assaults go unreported. I noticed having gone through the experience myself, part of society is still uneducated on how to support a victim because they still see rape as an act of sex. In other words, I personally feel Hollywood is not helping the situation either. I believe you feel the same way from what you stated.

    With that said, women shouldn’t only dress modestly out of fear. I think when women dress modestly so they’re not perceived as a temptress also says men, in general, have a lack of control over their sex hormones, which is degrading to men. I feel the problem we face regarding femininity and masculinity is how we don’t see each other as being equal. One is always trying to say the other is wrong, instead of realizing men and women are different , but are good for each other. Sexual assault is about having control over someone else. Perhaps Hollywood needs to realize the differences between perversion and what’s normal.

    Again, you’re article is very on point. I’m proud of you for also not compromising your morals for fame.

    I would like to nicely point out a slight misunderstanding about Oprah. Oprah is not a Child of God. She is a creation of God. A Child of God is a person who has accepted Jesus as their Lord of the their life and the Savior of the World. They’ve also accepted Jesus being the Son of God and being the only way to God. Oprah has openly admitted she hasn’t done that yet.

    Thanks for your article. 🙂

    1. Hi Hannah, thank you so much for sharing your heart, and for this powerful response. I so so agree – that is a respectable choice : one that should be celebrated. I’m so grateful for your remarks on your experience, because that is a new perspective when it comes to the *violence* of rape. I want to just say how sorry I am that you had to endure that violence. You did not deserve to be violated like that, and I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you. And I am listening to your words with a careful ear. Because what you say matters. You matter. And I am just so sorry that that you had to endure that. And thank you for that clarification on Oprah. I appologize for my typo – I didn’t realize the difference! again, thank you for the courage for sharing your story. it means the world, as do you to me 🙂 big hugs friend xo

      1. Thank you for your kind words, especially the matter part. I have to admit that you’re living my dream. So I think it’s pretty cool you’re interested in me. There’s my ‘whole heart’ for today lol 🙂 Anyway, you don’t have to apologize for the Oprah thing…I was merely pointing it out so others would know the difference. Most people don’t.

      2. Oh gosh, that’s kind of you to say 🙂 you have a beautiful heart!! Hugs and love xox

  58. This was INCREDIBLE. THANK YOU for saying what we’re all thinking. I just read your entire post aloud to my husband. No, I didn’t watch any of the garbage but knew I could find out anything I wanted to by looking anywhere on the Internet today. These people are privileged and wasting what they have by being petulant children who sway with the wind as long as it’s to their advantage to do so. Your assessment was spot-on. They are not championing women in any way. Not real women, with real problems. I’m thankful you’re brave enough to call it like it is.

    1. thank you so much! oh my gosh i am so touched that you would share this with your husband. thank you for your support. it really means a lot. big hugs to you xo

  59. I think you make excellent points here. If we want to promote respect of women, we first as women must learn self respect. But I think that honestly no matter what a woman wears, even if it is provocative—it is no excuse for sexual assault. I am sure you agree that women are sexualized even when they wear modest clothing. But I think we do need to keep it classy and set the standard. It just seems like fashion keeps getting skimpier and it’s really concerning to me. At some point we have to draw a line. But will that ever happen in such a broken world? So many women don’t know their identity in Christ! If they only knew how precious they were, maybe they would dress differently.

    1. Hi Sammy, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. you’re right – it’s no excuse. Oh, if only we all knew how incredibly precious 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  60. Beautifully put, dear. I know that regardless of how a woman dresses or looks, sexual assault or misconduct is not acceptable, but you make a good point that many of these very women have subjectified themselves to it by making themselves sex objects and nothing else, in an industry that thrives on it.

    1. thank you so much Jim, i really appreciate your thoughts on this. you’re right – the industry thrives on it 🙁 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  61. I was going to say “testify” until you beat me to it referencing her Obamish Southern Preacher twang that she worked in. These awards shows are full of self-congratulatory, isolated and insulated asshats who have no idea how the other 99% lives. And as for Oprah, as accomplished as she is, being a huge Weinstein apologist is part of the problem she claims to be fighting. Thank you for another great post, very brave given the political environment these days

    1. thank you so much for your kind words! that’s true – the awards shows are all kind of one and the same :/ so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  62. I didn’t see the Globes and I think I’m glad I didn’t! I remember when Obama gave his first speech when he was running for president…I remember saying the same thing about him. People were actually crying and blubbering all over themselves at how wonderful he was…(I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at the mere memory). They were basically worshiping at his feet!
    And I agree wholeheartedly about the way the women dress. They need a little lesson in modesty. I remember when my son was in Jr. High and he liked a young lady. I taught him to be a gentleman and respectful but it was a very interesting conversation when this young lady began dressing very provocative. It’s really hard to teach a young man to be respectful of a woman’s body when she herself isn’t. I’m glad those days are behind me.
    Very well written article Caralyn, I applaud you for standing up for what you believe.

    1. Hi jackie, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. lol you’re making me chuckle! yeah, everyone is looking for something or someone to worship, sadly. sounds like you’re a great mom – your son is lucky to be raised by such a strong woman! thanks for your kindness . Hugs and love xox

  63. While I understand where you’re coming from regarding dress, I disagree with it. I was taught the very thing you ranted about in this post since childhood yet… my life was threatened and I was raped wearing baggy jeans and a sweater. I’m still trying to figure out why society says this is my fault and why this is the first question asked whenever the subject comes up.

    Modesty in dress does NOT protect anyone from a sexual predator and it’s dangerous to perpetuate the idea that somehow it does. Wear whatever you’d like, but don’t ever think it will make you safe.

    1. oh friend, i am so sorry to hear that you had to endure that. my heart breaks for you. you did not deserve that at all. oh i just want to give you a big hug right now. you’re right – they are violent predators. thank you for having the courage to share your story. sending all the love in the world x

    2. I’m sorry for what happened to you…and I’m sorry for anyone who would lead you to believe it was your fault, regardless of how you were dressed. Rape is an act of violence…period. But I fully agree with this post. You may have missed it, but she actually said she didn’t say provocative clothing was asking for it.

      What I respect most about Caralyn’s point is the truth in how it is an act of love and respect for men when women dress modestly. Sexual predators are not typical, and men in general do not assault a woman for how she is dressed, but lusting over someone who is dressed provocatively in itself is sinful. When we dress in that way it can lead others to lust.

      Your situation, like any rape, was a crime and again, I am sorry that happened to you.

      1. “You may have missed it, but she actually said she didn’t say provocative clothing was asking for it.”

        The problem is that is was implied. Based on many of the comments I’ve read in here, I’d say the unspoken message was heard loud and clear. I have to agree with the comment made by another person comparing it to the “I’m not racist but…” type of statements. The moment you add a disclaimer like that to an opinion is the moment you create an echo that says otherwise.

        I’ve followed BBB long enough to know she speaks from a place of love and kindness – not with an intent to shame or hate. It’s because of this that I feel safe here to express a thought. It’s my hope that she understands where I’m coming from as well in responding to this echo.

      2. I understand. I didn’t mean to throw my 2 cents in …I just really wanted you to know I was so sorry for what happened to you and thought I’d add my thoughts as well. I agree with you completely about BBB…she is probably the most genuinely kind person I’ve never actually met! God Bless.

      3. You’re fine. I promise! This is just one of those hot button topics I think. You’re entitled to your 2 cents! And by you speaking up, it helped me reassess my comment to make sure it wasn’t just a knee jerk reaction of fear. I’ve come to realize that while it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction, it still came from a place of fear. And the reason I’m bringing this up is that I don’t want you to think I was ever angry or upset with you or this blog post. I’m sorry if I conveyed that in my earlier comment. Much love and light to you. <3

  64. Thank you!!! I would love to give you a most modest and appropriate hug for clearly articulating what’s been rattling around my mind since the first news appeared about the hypocrisy that was the GG. Granted, I don’t watch TV or movies, so these people make zero difference in my life, but their selective moral outrage has them cannibalizing each other for promotional points.
    On second thought, how about a Hi-5

    1. Hi Scott, thank you so much. haha Yay for that Hi-5! I definitely am with you there. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  65. My 14 year old cousin came to visit this summer and quite a few of her sentences were started with “I’m not racist”. I finally asked her to stop and think, because chances are if you start a sentence off like that the next thing that comes out of your mouth is probably going to be a racist remark.
    I felt the same while reading your take on women’s clothing choices. It felt very much like you were saying “It’s not your fault you were assaulted, but if you didn’t dress like that it probably wouldn’t have happened.” I don’t believe that’s how you meant it, but that’s the way it came across.
    I do not agree with most of your post. I do, however, appreciate the bravery it takes to share a potentially unpopular opinion.
    I hope my words do not offend, I simply wanted to share another perspective. 🙃

    1. Hi Valerie, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m sorry that it offended you. That was not my intent at all, nor how I meant it. But I can see how one could take it that way. Your words definitely did not offend. I appreciate and respect everyone’s different viewpoints and perspectives on this very emotional and important issue. big hugs to you xox

  66. You ask a great question: Am I missing something?
    This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.-My dear, you are missing something. The privileges you list here are still only accessible to a particular, white, resourced few. I don’t have a tv so I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but I do know that many look up to Oprah because she’s a profoundly successful black woman with lived experience of trauma, poverty and racism and overcame these obstacles; a hopeful and inspiring miracle for many. I agree, she’s not God but she is a living hero and example of what the rest of us can aspire to in spite of concrete, systemic obstacles. I relate deeply to what she’s overcome as a survivor of sexual abuse, generational poverty, physical abuse, homelessness, passive neglect, rape, verbal abuse, parental divorce and even more childhood trauma than I care to share here. Oprah is living example of resilience, compassion and hope for those of us trying to live our best life in the absence of unearned privilege. xo

    1. Thank you E, for sharing this thoughtful and powerful response. i fully agree – Oprah is a hero, and what she has overcome and built is truly worthy of celebrating. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to endure those things. gosh, my heart just goes out to you and i wish i could give you a humungous hug through the screen. I’m so glad that you find such hope and so much of your story in Oprah. She is doing such good for the world. sending you so much love, friend. thanks again for having the courage to share your story. big big hugs x

  67. I love this and agree 100%. If more women practiced genuine self-respect, perhaps we wouldn’t have all of these sexual assault and harassment allegations.

    This is also why I never bother watching the Golden Globes or any awards ceremonies for that matter. It’s always the same privileged people validating each other haha.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  68. It was good to read this.
    No doubt vanilla spirituality has become a major problem in the US, it’s not lost on us.

    However, it’s intention I think, at least originally, was to make God available to all….and that means not forcing Jesus down EVERYONE’S throats.
    Don’t get me wrong… I’m a Christian…or at least think I am. I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I take communion.
    And yes, evangelism I’m called for – just – the thing is….jihad is jihad in whatever language; if you see what I mean.

    We are told in the Bible, that a time will come when Christians will have to search their own hearts – the spirit will help – to find Jesus, and at that particular time, Christians may will be the antithesis of Christianity.

    Again, it’s not lost on us that Vanilla spirituality is really what American Mega-Churches and Television empires (seed a prayer, secure your abundance, right to the number on the bottom of the screen…) are peddling. That or outright hate.

    And I know it’s not all churches and it’s not all Christians – actually, Muslims are crying out in exactly the same way. In fact if you listen, so are Israelites really. Actually, everywhere, the Spirit of God is under fire.

    The thing in the privilege you share – and again, be from this side you’re right, hey who wants to be an African – it’s becoming uncomfortably clear that that ‘we’ is not a wide a ‘we’ that we have long been told you all are taking about when you ask us to change who we are you become more like you.

    And then finally this thing on respect – and I hear you here totally. It’s what good people around the world are wishing for the world more than anything…just that right now, it appears to be leadership there that is purveying respect only for ‘we’ first – again the definition of ‘we’ notwithstanding – in other words, a respect that is conferred based on manners, or color, or belief, or sex….a form of respect in direct opposition to those marvelous words written so long ago by people who ‘held these truths to be self-evident…’ for whom? – and for which spirit, more humanity than you can imagine, continue to fight for and die for because it remains the best example of an ‘us’ that we have on paper.

    Wherein that ‘us’ has suddenly divorced the UN of the grounds of…what exactly?

    The world is in trouble. I really get this article on Oprah, and I’m grateful for it – I hope that somewhere, people come to their senses. Otherwise the very Gods America has created a are going to start leading America – nevermind Oprah. There’s all sorts of Celebrity in the background….and oh, just wait until the Charismatic Christian stuff we are seeing on TV gets wind of it.

    And perhaps it will be as is written – because it will end with Joyce Meyer or Hagee or Roseville or Memphis or Ft. Lauderdale or Birmingham (see where I’m going…) or some other Christian fulfilling Revelations.

    It is a fearful time. Between The current, and Oprah lies the entirety of America i.e. without unity, what is apparent is only extremism…and it looks like getting ready to lead.

    I have written long because I be read you – almost everyday. You make a difference in my life. Your words do. Your fearlessness in putting yourself out there. The spirit of Christianity that so often wraps itself around that spirit, in the words that you find, to put down here.

    And I guess I’m afraid for what is happening to that Christian spirit…that spirit of love and forgiveness and encouragement that increasingly seems hard to come by. Anywhere.

    I put this out not to criticize or to harm or to denigrate – merely to further the conversation….just a voice from far away, looking in.

    I do not have the answers, and hope that I have not seemed partial or disrespectful.

    Personally? Some will argue that I have no right to speak as a Christian.

    At times, I don’t know what to do. Will prayer get us out of this one?

    I’ve gone on far too long! I apologise.

    Malachi 3:5

    1. Hey there friend, thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response. i appreciate you joining the dialogue and for taking the time to reflect and respond. Lots of powerful food for thought. how can we make God available for all without vanilla spirituality — that is the million dollar question. so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  69. I did comment, but Safari froze!

    So, here is a short version of my earlier comment!

    One – sexual harassment is a subset of harassment and, those who harass (while, they are essentially weak people) need to be dealt with strictly.

    Men display muscles. The need to show muscles is, in a sense, infantile. Yet, we moved from the codpiece to the surgically generated muscular structure.

    Women display themselves. Completely! And, with these “glamorous” women, nothing is left to the imagination anymore. Surgically altered bodies up for display.

    Having said that, there is a voyeur in most of us. We love titillation, from film stars on display, to seeing others suffer, to pornography.

    Dignity and restraint are forgotten words, sadly.

    1. oh no! i hate when that happens ;/ Thanks for this thoughtful response. lots of great points. and you’re right – they’re definitely forgotten…so sad. Hugs and love xox

  70. Hello Caralyn! I join the ranks of those who do not ascribe to watching Celebrity filled events. However, there has been enough chatter and clips throughout the day to understand the ‘space’ your heart was lead to speak from. And on that note I would simply add…a mic drop. Hang in there brave girl. There’s not a mean bone in your body (nor do I think there is one in Oprah’s – even though I do not concur with her statements) and your loyal readers will always value your authenticity. Hugs n’ blessings as you continue to travel through a conversation I do not judge will be soon over.

    1. hello Dawn! thank you so much for sharing your heart and your thoughts on this. hahah a mic drop – you’re funny 🙂 yeah, this conversation, i feel, is only just beginning – which is a good thing too, because I honestly do appreciate hearing different perspectives and viewpoints, because i have a lot to learn, and i respect everyone’s different beliefs. A healthy, respectful dialogue about important issues, in my opinion, is a good thing 🙂 thanks again for your encouragement and support and positivity! i hope you have a beautiful night!! xox

  71. Very well said, thank you! I whole heartedly agree. It is good to see another women taking this standpoint. I sometimes feel we are expected to support our ‘sisters’ no matter what, even if we feel they are also in the wrong. Keep being a shining light. Love and blessings.

  72. Thank you, friend, for this insightful post. The Bible says that women should dress modestly. I don’t know how we as believers can take any other view.

  73. Young lady thank you for restoring my faith that there are good people out there that see through all the glitter and glamor of Hollywood. Well written and you have showed me that there are still people with morals left in the world. I pray that God bless you and your work.

    1. Thank you so much. Gosh what a kind thing to say. I’m glad that it struck a chord with you. Thanks for your prayers! Know that you are in mine too 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  74. I saw the title of this post and wondered how it would be, thankfully you seem to be on same side as myself watching the news here, what’s worse is if I made similar comments it would be described as sexist, as a child of God I know I pay alot more attention to what comes out of my mouth, also, having to watch what I say out of PC! The only change this is bringing about is that the (hopefully) truth is finally being heard nothing else, I’m sure the harassment doesn’t just happen between male aggressor and female victim, I’m sure there is female aggressor to male victims, male aggressor to male victims and female aggressor to female victims, this really isn’t a battle of the sexes thing (correct me if I’m wrong) and if what people say is true, her speech could even be a PR stunt for her “presidential” bid but please tell me if you don’t agree, as always Caralyn powerful post

    1. Thank you Benny. I appreciate your thoughts on this. There was so much buzz about her running for President today. Sadly I wouldn’t even be the least bit surprised. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

      1. People think this is a new revelation also but the UK police have been investigating for several years, and several well known personalities have served or currently serving prison time, including a favourite of mine but he has now served his time, and honestly I feel for him, think even offer forgiveness for him, if you search operation yewtree you will see what I mean

  75. Great insight looking at the Hollywood juggernaut from a Christian perspective! I heard one female commentator, secular, here in the UK express the opinion that she is repulsed because it feels like Hollywood is only offended by the abuse of women when it is exposed within it’s own community. The truth is exploitation and abuse of women is international and constant but the black dresses are only worn now! Does she have a point? Does the ‘deifying’ of Oprah have anything to do with the panic that liberals in the States feel as they search for a candidate to take on Trump?

    1. Thank you so much!! So glad it hit home with you. You bring up some powerful points. You may be onto something there about finding a candidate. Hugs and love xox

  76. I worked with some prison inmates. I drew some of them. The spark came back after they saw who they are and had an identity beyond their numbers on their chest, the handcuffs. How is it similar? We live in a society of social rituals. The narrative we dislike we created. We must identify the constraints before we could release ourselves from it. Every alcoholic is in fact in rehab when all the booze is gone. Every celebrity bleeds glitter on something and its all better. At least inmates know the difference.

  77. “But I have also, to the detriment of my career, turned down the numerous opportunities I’ve received to play great roles that also happen to involve nudity, sex, or other situations/dialogue that goes against my morals and beliefs. Why? Because I am actually championing women and the messages that art sends out into the world to young women and men about respect. Respect for others. Respect for oneself. Respect for marriage. Respect for life.”

    Me too.

  78. Hi there. I must say your blog affected me, if you will. In fact it angered me to the point where I unfollowed you. I could not understand how the words of a black woman who had overcome the odds of being raised in less than desirable circumstances has somehow become the…antichrist. I could identify with Oprah’s speech. I worked in management in manufacturing for about three decades, and I must say the challenges were great. A black woman, myself, in the middle of a industry dominated by white men presented less than desirable situations. Fortunately, I had the courage to say no in many situations. Many women don’t have that courage.

    I write back, not to defend Oprah’s position or yours. I write back because I’m so disheartened that this polarized situation becomes even more polarized when we as Christians take side with one celebrity’s position, whether it be Oprah or Trump, and try to substantiate with scripture. Unfortunately, no on one wins, we just become more polarized. Maybe that’s not the intent, but for some, like me, that’s how it’s perceived.

    I write back not to chastise or scrutinize , although it may appear so. But, I pray that we all, as the apostle Paul said, would understand how wide, long, high and deep God’s love is toward us all, through Christ Jesus…from Trump to Oprah and to everyone in between. It would be so refreshing for The Church to promote more of the truth, which supports neither side. We are one body and I believe our position is to love and edify the believers and do as much as we can to live at peace with each other.

    I love you, my sister, and I pray for you, as I pray for myself, that our penned words are seasoned with love and grace.

  79. The hardest thing in today’s world is perspective. This is certainly something the media juggernaut and entertainment industry lacks in some countries. In other words where is the balance, where is the respect and where are the values. Until more and more people start to look at the similarities in people instead of their differences, these issues will keep playing out this way. We do know what is right. It seems the meek are the only ones who can do something about it i.e. those who are gentle and kind, but resilient none the less (and not submissive as the term is now taken to mean). Keep making a difference…

  80. Great posting. Well spoken! It seems that monthly … weekly … daily(?) there is a new and different god that is worshiped. Sadly, we’ve misplaced our foundation regardless of the religious tenets — that continuum from the old religions through monotheism to those new age beliefs — each of us hold dear.

  81. Because’s God’s timing is perfect, make sure you pay attention to the Epistle lesson at Sunday Mass coming up next. (I checked to make sure your Roman lectionary and our Anglican one are the same that day.) It’s basically St. Paul’s version of Oprah’s speech! 😉 Enjoy…

    1. Thank you Fr. Brench, I literally cannot wait for Sunday now!! wow – God’s timing truly is amazing. I appreciate your thoughts! have a great week, Father. God bless! x

  82. I totally agree.
    I think many of these cases where women who participated in the “casting couch” culture to further their careers and NOW want to cry “rape!” Possibly to get more fame, who knows.
    When everything gets tossed under “sexual assault” it horrifically undermines true victims of sexual assault and even makes them look petty.

    1. Thank you so much Sierra, I really appreciate your thoughtful response. Yeah it is a dangerous train to stop, let’s just say that. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  83. Wow! Even though we are Christians we can’t isolate ourselves from the world in our ‘safe spaces’. We have a responsibility to speak out against what’s wrong too. You’ve garnered quite a response haha. God bless.

    1. thank you friend you’re right – we have a responsibility. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  84. Beautiful! Perfect! I just read your post over and over again! Being a wife and mother of two girls I talk with them of this exact topic. Any celebrity is still a person. Remove the makeup, the dazzled jewels and the expensive attire….and they are just still a person. And like any person…..they can certainly stir the boiling pot for attention. I will be forwarding your blog post to our oldest daughter who is a senior at VT. Thank you!! I’m going to get more coffee and read this post again!

    1. oh my gosh thank you so much Lisa, what an incredibly kind comment. You’re so right – we are all just people. I appreciate you passing this along! big hugs to you and yours! xox

  85. Great blog! It definitely is an oxymoron to see women displaying clothing that is deliberately enhancing their sexuality and talking about sexual assault. It seems to me that couture one upmanship has become about how much you can display without doing a Lady Godiva. I agree that Hollywood productions do much to set the tone for our moral sense, They have much to answer for.

    1. thank you so much friend, for your thoughtful response. Yeah, sadly i think you’re right on the money. *much* to answer for indeed. Hugs and love xox

  86. Absolutely outstanding!! I’m giving you a standing ovation at work right now! haha. I couldn’t read too much about the awards the next day, due to feeling sick at the hypocrisy of it all. No way could I have watched it.
    I actually have a unfinished blog of similar fashion pending myself and have been hesitant to finish and release it. I am sure I would be called a misogynist for doing so. Which I am not! However, lets all wear black to promote sexually related violence but, please make sure it shows as much flesh and cleavage as possible!!! hahahaha….. I cant take any of them seriously!

    1. thank you so much for your encouraging words! you’re too kind. yeah – i felt the same the next day too. My phone kept getting automatic news notifications about it – i kid you not probably 20 of them throughout the day – about the speech and the show — it’s like..okay enough already! Thanks for stopping by and i look forward to reading your post! Hugs and love xox

  87. My Grandma gave me a very simple piece of advice–dress how you want to be treated, and you will be treated as such. How one dresses is their choice, but as with anything, choices have consequences, good or bad. One doesn’t have to let it all hang out in order to be attractive.

    1. thank you so much Lisa. Wow – your grandmother was a wise wise woman. that is so true. PREACH!!! 🙂 thanks for stopping by!! Hugs and love xox

  88. This is so far off topic, but I’m nominating you for a mystery blogger award! Head over to my blog for more info 😊😊

  89. I will say I loved Oprah’s speech, it was so moving, but I love what you say here, its so much on point! Hit em where it hurts my friend! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🤘🏽❤️❤️❤️😀😀😀😀😱😱

    1. haha shots fired, oh my gosh I’m literally laughing out loud. Thank you. Yeah – her speech was incredibly moving, but there was more to the story of the night too. It was a both/and kind of an evening. so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  90. Hi,

    A well written posting.

    Oprah became leader of a so called New Age religion through her long running show. So perhaps it is no SECRET that she looks upon herself as high priestess?
    However, to quote part of one of my own blog postings—Organization is one of the major keys to false religion. People will do things in a group that they would never do on their own.
    Once enough people become involved in such quasi religious organizations, a momentum and critical mass is achieved that allows such groups to present to the world a false picture of spirituality Even though in truth God is not in their midst at all.

    Warmest regards

    1. Hi John, thank you for this thoughtful response. lots of great points here. That’s so true – she created it, so she’s steering the ship, you could say. glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  91. Here’s my (likely to be unpopular) opinion: Oprah Winfrey is a tax-dodging corporatist jerk who promotes quacks like Drs. Phil and Oz as well as anti-vaccination zealots who sow fear and ignorance using the public platforms afforded them by their celebrity status, and really, if it’s come to the point where fake liberals now think it perfectly acceptable and even desirable to run a deeply unqualified right-wing elitist celebrity of their own to compete against Caligula Drumpf (as opposed to a right-wing elitist career politician), then American politics is truly dead and we are merely replaying the slow disintegration of the Roman Empire.

    As to your argument of hypocrisy as it pertains to women flaunting their bodies while denouncing male reactions…I can see both sides of the problem. We as a society have this attitude toward women and sex that is contradictory to the point of schizophrenia. We denounce sex and anything to do with it as evil, sinful, perverted, but our media from advertisements to music videos sells sex and objectifies women and girls as being almost solely for immediate gratification of physical urges. We decry rape culture, but demand that women be allowed to dress in ways designed to provoke reaction for good or for ill, thus sending a confusing message: “Look at our bodies, but don’t look at our bodies you perverts!” This is not to absolve or excuse males who commit rape and other forms of sexual assault—just the opposite, in fact: it is even more important for males in the 21st century to cease viewing females as sex objects, start looking at them as human beings with their own rights, ambitions, and feelings, and learn to respect boundaries at all times. But those boundaries need to be crystal clear, and unfortunately, all too often they are blurred. And it is this blurring that allows subhuman degenerates predators like Harvey Weinstein and Caligula Drumpf to get away with assault and harassment. It’s what lets savage little boys like Brock Turner get a slap on the wrist for raping an unconscious woman while the victim is blamed for putting herself in a position to be raped.

    What can be done about this social schizophrenia? I’m not asking this question as a rhetorical. I really would appreciate some good ideas, because I don’t know the answer.

    1. Thank you Michael, for sharing your thoughts on this. Lots of powerful food for thought here. that line is definitely being blurred, and you’re so right- the Brock Turner assault is absolutely despicable. it’s cases like that that reinforce the skewed perception and mindset of rape culture. we need an overhaul of our media and entertainment and rap/music lyrics and advertisements — to promote respect. Hugs and love xox

  92. Checking in to hear your recent heart beat. I chose not to watch the Golden Globes, knowing I’d have a very similar take on it as your recent post. I am thankful for your courage in speaking the Truth that obviously stems from your personal relationship with Christ, including your Christian upbringing. You definitely have a platform to speak on such matters, being in the professional acting field. I pray that your voice will be heard to not only those in Hollywood, but also to the young generation. Prayers for you to stay close to Jesus and daily in His Word, to protect yourself from the “fiery darts” of the enemy, and the temptation of the flesh. Stay pure in all you do, for His glory and your personal good. Blessings to you in 2018.

    1. Thank you so much Charme for your prayers and kind words. Those fiery darts – yes, we’ve got to wear our armor 🙂 Hugs to you xox

  93. I think the new horizon is referring to a time when women don’t have to choose between a career move or being subjected to sexual harassment or assault. And that I am okay with.
    The part I am wondering about are the accusations that Oprah and Harvey Weinstein were/are close and that she knew about his behaviors. If that’s true, that’s where the hypocrisy is.

    1. Thanks for your thoughts Lacey. That’s a great point. I’m okay with that as well. Hugs and love xox

  94. Well said! Hollywood is never the place to turn to for guidance. So far left in their movies and ways of life. Very hard for middle America to even relate.

    1. Thank you Debra! That’s right – definitely not for guidance. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  95. I really appreciate this! You have a way of being fair AND truthful in the same breath. And it’s not just Oprah who we shouldn’t be placing on a pedistal or granting diety status. Many believers often do this with their pastors as well! I’ve been in church leadership for over 25 years and I can verify this. Pastors are human too…and we WILL fail from time to time and disappoint people. God is the ONLY ONE who will not disappoint us. Bless you, and continue your blog ministry.

    1. Thanks so much Brent, for sharing your thoughts. And i really appreciate your kind words. Amen – we are all human. Hugs and love xox

  96. Very well said! I greatly appreciate your thoughts on this subject. And you, my sister in Christ, are a woman that young ladies should be looking up to. Thanks for sharing your -not so unpopular- opinion.

    1. Thank you so much friend! Gosh what an incredibly kind thing to say. I am truly touched. Big hugs xox

  97. I love how your post generated so many different reactions. One way we learn empathy and gain understanding is listening to others who disagree with us.
    Judgement and hypocrisy are two threads that weaved their way throughout many of the comments about your post. Women were judged for wearing provocative clothing or for working with folks like Weinstein. First off, what about Frances McDormand or Elizabeth Moss or Saorise Ronan’s dresses (3 of the night’s big winners)? Or the woman-of-the-hour being judged, Oprah? All of them wore tasteful attire (even by conservative Christian standards). And the idea that everyone we work with has to meet a certain moral standard or we deserve shame for associating with them is crazy. The guy helping us finalize our latest work project could be a wife-beater. Working with someone does not mean we know their dark secrets nor do we condone the evils they have committed in their past.
    Consider this: the celebrities at these awards shows are celebrating their work, and the movies and t.v. shows honored last night had powerful messages most people should celebrate. The Shape of Water masterfully showed the power of love and acceptance over violence and prejudice. Lady Bird cleverly revealed the complex love between mothers and daughters who disagree yet still accept and respect each others’ differences.
    Hollywood has its flaws, but it also gives people stories of hope and redemption and understanding. And the love and respect shown Oprah last night was mainly that – love and respect for the good she has done and supported. When others share their stories both through movies and real life, we all can benefit from their experiences and learn to be more open-minded, especially with those we may disagree with.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. That’s true – that’s the beauty of a respectful and open dialogue, is that we can gain new perspectives and understanding. Glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

  98. Way to tell it, BBB! I do wish you had a reblog button, but I think I can work around that. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with my blog’s readers.

    1. Thank you so much Lee! Yeah I’ve talked to WP about getting my button back and they are working on it! Since I switched to a business profile that feature sadly went away. Thanks for passing this along! Means a lot. Hugs and love xox

  99. Great post and interesting thoughts! What I love most here is that you are an actress yourself. I love how you keep standing up for what you believe in and choosing respectable roles. Maybe you’re not having “success” in the terms of millions of dollars and people worshipping at your feet, but God will definitely reward you. And I pray that your Godly influence will continue to grow for women everywhere!

    1. thank you so much Emily! so glad it resonated with you. and thanks for that encouragement and prayer. big hugs to you xx

  100. I can’t say I agree with you. I’ll demonstrate. You shouldn’t be wearing pants. Long skirts only. You’re showing too much of your form when you wear pants, and tight sweaters. And in acting, you’re pretending to be something you’re not, which is a lie, and you might on occasion hug or kiss or more with a man who is not your husband. That’s an odd profession to choose for someone with your moral values, don’t you think? Actor?
    I don’t really think that. I’m only trying to demonstrate that everyone has their line. You’ve stated yours, but not everyone agrees. The same is true of “Christian” values. Not everyone agrees on what those values are, not to mention, not everyone is Christian. You can’t just insist that everyone adhere to the moral standards that you believe in.

    The idea here is that women’s standard of dress does not mean men get to harass them. It’s not an invitation, and men can restrain themselves and be civil. That you would attack these women, and only give bare mention to the men they are protesting, means you have missed the point.

    I want to take something back. I do actually think that ‘actress’ is an odd profession for your moral position.

    1. Hi Ward, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. that’s definitely a great point, and you’ve given me a lot to think about. Hugs and love xox

  101. YES!! There has been a massive fuss here bc some Oregonian decided to go topless. At Rhythm & Vines, which is a music festival here in NZ. We don’t do topless here. We don’t have a great track record either when you combine alcohol & skimpy outfits, so why she thought this was cool is beyond me. But oh look at the pseudo feminists rising in her defense…IMO you shouldn’t put yourself in a position to be abused. And sadly, too many people of both sexes do. They drink, which loosens inbuilt barriers, & become selfish. To my mind, both parties here show fault.

    Good for you with your choices. I disagree with Will in one way – actress is one way to show God’s light. There are as many ways as grains of sand – it’s all in the execution.

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your encouragement. and thank you for sharing that about being an actor. i see it as a beautiful way to tell a story, and can be a great tool to share a message or hope or make people feel not alone 🙂 it is a responsibility as to how you use it. that’s why i do a lot of kids educational videos haha big hugs to you xox

  102. I have to agree on many things that you mentioned. I think a lot of people adore Oprah. She’s very passionate and vocal – which people admire. I’m not here to bash her or her intentions, but I am concerned that people do have her on a pedestal – right there with God. I guess that’s our human nature – hoping for a hero to come and save our world. If you’re a believer, then you know there’s only one.

  103. Caralyn…you have officially become one of my “sheroes” 🙌🏽🙌🏽! I absolutely love this post. Gutsy, balanced, and very well thought out.

    You rock, girl!!

  104. Love it! 🙂 Agree with every word you said (which is rare for me).

    What’s behind all this is indeed the lack of God in their lives. As you said, the new age spirituality doesn’t cut it. But it’s not really new age, just pagan – in the Old Testament there are numerous references to people worshiping elements of nature and engaging in mystic, spiritist, paranormal practices.

    This pagan spirituality does give them the opportunity to engage in a dichotomic existence, with good and evil coexisting in them, so that they can primarily please men.

    When we choose to live a life where we wish to please God, many things become unbearable – and not out of moralism, but simply because they are incompatible with love. And God is love.

    I’m so happy to read you’ve turned down work because they were not aligned with your values. Also rare to find that.

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thought on this. And for your kind words. Big hugs to you xox

  105. You do have a point in this topic and yes, being half-naked in public and intentionally is just self-advertisement “here is my number”, a simple flesh-market…
    In public people ought to look in the eyes of each other, instead of checking a fantasy menu…

    On the other hand, at least there are more and more people who start to speak up, that night Natalie Portman also mentioned how all men director nominees were – a little but witty thing.

    It is kind of new for everyone. It took 2000 years and the whole USA to come to the point where not only a few people but masses worldwide started to talk about the very thing: women are not objects.
    The same way as no man should objectify any women, no woman should objectify herself.

    Still hard to believe, but this message how God created man and woman as equal and reciprocal partners to each other with the idea of their unity for their common good is still unknown and non-believed for the most.

    So, as for happy smiles: it started to happen with baby steps and lots of uncertainty how to change a worldwide culture and the whole historical understanding. It is a big undertaking, will take time.
    As for the sadness: more and more takes advantages on this whole thing as it was a new business model.

    And everybody seems to be judgemental in this, or at least many.
    Jesus has never judged anyone. God has never judged any of us.

    He, as any Parent, is waiting for us to grow and be mature, and then discover the world together as co-creators…


    1. Thanks friend for sharing your thoughts on this emotional topic. You’re right – Jesus never judged. You make some excellent points here. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox