Curve Balls

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Gosh, thank you so much for the support after last week’s emotional blog post.

Thankfully I am now 100% healthy – the flu couldn’t keep me down for long! And I have taken a page from T Swift’s book and did a little “shake it off” dance.

It’s crazy though. The video is at nearly 5 million and counting….yowza. If only those views were dolla dolla bills, yallllll.

haha jk jk….sorta

ANYWHO

I have some news.

FIRST: I got an exciting letter that BeautyBeyondBones has been recognized as the #3 Eating Disorder Recovery Website on the Worldwide Web! It was recognized by Feedspot! I am so incredibly honored, and I wanted to just take a second to thank you. Thank you for your readership and support, and for buying my book, Bloom, and passing it along to loved ones and friends. The glowing feedback I’ve received about the book absolutely makes my heart soar. You, reading this, are the reason I do this blog, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

IMG_1964
Shop this look!

NEXT:

You may recall that I have a trip to India coming up this week. One of my guy friends is getting married over there this coming weekend, and I’ve had my flight and hotel booked for months, my clothes all set, and a game plan for eating/drinking that may or may not include baby food.

So just this week – while I was sick – I get a call from the girl I’m traveling with. We’ll call her Tiffani. She’s a good friend from California, and we coordinated our flights. She’s connecting in NYC, where I’ll hop on her flight, and away we’ll go to the land of Bollywood and tikka masala.

giphy-10

But as any millennial knows…any time you get a phone call rather than a text message, the news is not good.

Well, it turns out that her visa was denied. One of her immediate family members is from Pakistan, and therefore, they denied her visa. Apparently the India/Pakistan political relationship is not. good. But anyways: she can no longer go.

What a bummer! At least several of my friends are still able to go. Disappointed, I shrug it off and concede to just meeting everyone else over there solo.

Later that day, I call my parents to share the news about my friend’s visa status, and let’s just say, I was blindsided by the phone call.

My dad informed me that there was absolutely no way he’s allowing me to travel to India by myself. If Tiffani’s not going, neither am I. 

“But I’m getting picked up at the airport by my friends!” No. 

“But I’ll never be by myself after I get off the plane!” No.

OK. That’s it, then. That’s the verdict. I’m not going to India. 

Yes, I am beyond disappointed. Yes, I am upset, but not at my dad.

My dad had never been super on board with me going in the first place. He was worried, of course about human trafficking, and my safety. But more than anything, he was worried about me getting sick from the food/water, and with my Ulcerative Colitis – ending up in the Indian hospital system. Legitimate fears.

And frankly, I’m blessed to have a father who loves me enough to worry about me and act to protect me.

I’ve done a lot of reflecting, in my respite with the flu. And I had a couple friends be like, — Just go anyways! You’re an adult and the ticket is already paid for. There’s nothing he can do – you’re in NYC, he’s in Ohio.

And while, yes, I am an adult – he’s my father.

And that means something. Because no matter how old I am, I will always respect my father.

My father – the man who, during my anorexia, researched the best weight gaining drinks money could buy and had them shipped in all the way from Scandinavia. The man who, after I was publicly disgraced as Sorority president and stripped down to my underwear in front of the chapter, whisked me away in his car to remind me that I am loved and worth so much more than what any of those dimwits at the greek house say. The man, who, ate my vegan food for an entire year when I was on bedrest with my Ulcerative Colitis, in solidarity with me.

photo

The man who has given his life for his family, and provided a safe, happy, healthy and full life for me, every. single. day.

I will respect him. I will respect his wishes. I will respect his decision.

Because at the end of the day, that is the right thing to do: Honor your father and mother.

And who knows, maybe this is all playing out how it’s supposed to. Maybe – heaven forbid – something tragic would have happened while I was over there? Maybe this is God’s way of protecting me from something – an illness, an accident, who knows.

Or maybe, I’m supposed to be in the States during that period? Maybe I book the role of a lifetime? Maybe I stumble upon an awesome opportunity? Or maybe…I meet my future husband?

Who knows. But, although deeply disappointed, I choose to trust and honor my fathers…both earthy and Heavenly.

SO if you need me, I will not be going to India, and instead, stalking the heck out of my friends’ trip on Instagram instead.

***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY!

img_2712________________________________________________________________
STAY CONNECTED!

@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

A big thank you to my sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

Next time you’re shopping on Amazon, be sure to stop by my link, amazon.com/shop/beautybeyondbones first! Doing so is absolutely FREE for you, and a great way to support this blog! (When you stop by my link first, whatever you get on Amazon will give this blog a little kickback :))

My favorite item someone purchased last week was a Waterproof iPod Shuffle! So if that was you…THANK YOU! 🙂

patreon

For Podcast versions of my posts, please check out Patreon! You make this blog possible 🙂

***NEW!! For outfit details, you can check out my LIKE.TO.KNOW.IT page or follow me in the Liketoknow.it App!

Published by

Unknown's avatar

beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

257 thoughts on “Curve Balls”

  3. You can always risk going or you can also risk staying. It’s good you have people who watch over you. You are an adult which means you ultimately decide. Never be bummed out about it all, in the end, it could be like you stated, could have been avoiding something. Always good to still have that sense of respect to parents.

    Like

  5. “He was worried, of course about human trafficking,…” – sorry to see biased views coming up again in your post.
    I think it is your loss. By not going, you will be judging again by your uninformed views.

    Like

    1. I’m sorry you think it is a biased view. We have no hard feelings about India, just merely a father concerned for his young daughter’s safety traveling in a foreign land where I don’t know the language or cultures. HT is not exclusive to India. It is prevalent all over the world. Here in the US too. I’m sorry you took something negative away from this post. And my apologies if i offended you. Hugs and love xox

      Like

      1. FYI -> The number of Foreign Tourist Arrivals (FTA) in India on August 2017 were 7.24 lakh ( 1lakh = 100,000. ).
        The percentage share of Foreign Tourist Arrivals (FTAs) in India during August 2017 among the top 15 source countries was highest from Bangladesh (21.26%) followed by USA (11.60%), UK (9.46%), Sri Lanka (6.41%), Malaysia (3.71%), Japan (2.74%), Canada (2.57%), France (2.46%), Germany (2.39%), Australia (2.37%), Nepal (2.11%), Singapore (1.96%), China (1.94%), Oman (1.76%) and UAE (1.57%).
        That’s nearly 85000 US tourists travelling to India in one month.

        Like

      3. Cara, nothing to apologize for in regards to your writing about human trafficking.

        Here is a quote: ….Overall victim identification and protection remained inadequate and inconsistent and the government sometimes penalized victims through arrests for crimes committed as a result of being subjected to human trafficking….

        https://www.state.gov/j/tip/rls/tiprpt/countries/2017/271205.htm

        Your fathers concern has validity.
        India has its extremists just as every country does, whether muslim or hindu’s. You can find stories galore over the net of hindu purists burning churches and persecuting Christians.

        The only question that would come to my mind would be something like… ” Do you not trust my ability to make decisions about my own safety?”…. Its a me thing I guess, but I think that would be my only rebuttal a fathers opinion about travelling.

        Congrats on your #3 spot, keep up the good work & God bless.

        Like

      4. Thank you Mr. Smiff, I appreciate you sharing that information. Yeah, lots of great points. thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

        Like

  7. Congratulations, Pastor! Well deserved and obviously you are touching and blessing many lives as you share your walk of faith! Being a dad and grandpa, I was very touched by your writing here! Your decision and his, I’m sure was all God-guided through prayer and you both listened! Amen! Oh, file this writing away under ” my Father’s Day sermon ” so when you begin to preach and teach at your first church, this is a beautiful and powerful message for your sermon! I am so proud of you!

    Like

  8. I sort of understand your situation, my son and I planned a hike along the Nogales Trail from Arizona across the border to Mexico. We had everything in place, including passports, reservations made to camp on both sides. While driving to the Arizona campground we were passed by two border patrol cars with lights and sirens blaring. At the campground we were told everything was closed because of a trafficking incident. No refunds from either side. Bummer.

    Like

  9. I know it doesn’t hold as much strength but I too was concerned about you going, mostly because of the food situation and your faith. So proud of you for how you took the news because it was such a big deal for you. I’m sure you will get another life changing opportunity whether that would be India or somewhere else ❤️

    Like

  10. I’m sorry you can’t go but honestly, I agree with your father. Your better off staying in the States on many levels. My health issues would preclude me from trips like that so your not alone in that respect. Everything happens for a reason, I say your father gave you his best advice to date! ❤️

    Like

  11. I see your father’s concerns and it is probably good you are listening to him.

    As for the unexpected “curve ball” — could be interesting. . .

    Like

    1. Thanks friend. Yes – welll see how these next couple weeks play out. Could be interesting indeed! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  12. Oh! This is so difficult. I am also a grown woman that still obeys her parents. I was thinking about it earlier today, actually. Like, what would they do? Spank me?! lol …but I agree that our parents are wise, and we should consider their concerns. I am excited to see what the Lord does while you are in the USA!

    Like

    1. Thanks Kat, I appreciate that. Yeah – I feel you! After all – they love us immensely and just want the best! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  15. Your Dad sounds amazing and his love for you has no bounds and I think he’s the sort of person you listen to when they put their foot down like that. I also find that when one door and then another door closes, that something might not be meant to be. Sometimes we find out why, but often we don’t. I don’t know if that’s God guiding us or not but I try not to force the issue these days and pull back. It important to be discerning. Take care xx Rowena

    Like

  18. Beautiful as always. You were stripped down to your underwear? Was it some form of hazing? That’s horrible. I do admire your strength 🙂

    Like

    1. Thanks Tom, I appreciate your kind words. Yeah it was awful. I was the President and we were doing the initiation rituatal, and I was wearing an initiation robe with just those things underneath. I flubbed up a few of the words in the hour long ceremony (that I had to memorize on finals week) — and they proceeded to strip me of my title and president’s robe in front of everyone. it was the most mortifying episode of my life.

      Like

  19. Congratulations on making #3 in the eating disorder recovery category–and making the right choice following your disappointment. Your father sounds awesome, and I know your Heavenly Father is definitely awesome! Proud of you. Love reading your blog, too.

    Like

  21. This was such a beautiful read, girlie! Everything you said struck a chord with me and the relationship I have with my parents. You are eternally blessed and it’s all thanks to our loving father. Much love✨❤️

    Like

  22. I know your probably pretty disappointed in not getting to go. But I’m also glad you listened to your dad and didn’t go by yourself. It’s probably for the best and things will work out okay in the end.

    Like

  23. I would do the same… Yes，I`m an adult. But I respect my dad and trust his advice! ❤ And wait，how did I not realize that you had a book out?!? I need to read this ASAP!!!

    Like

  24. I was invited to Carneval in Rio and thought the same thing. About myself. Not that its dangerous all the time. It just didn’t feel right. Besides I like the favelas when there’s less drinking.

    I’m sorry that happened to you at your Greek house. They are rough sometimes.

    Like

      1. I have a programmer friend that married a sorority girl. We will nerd hard over something awesome I did while she, quietly tolerates it. She says though, he wishes she still acted like a sorority girl. Being wild, maybe?

        I think sometimes it’s hard for dads to, accept. Especially. When they’ve almost lost their daughter. Think it’s a survival thing. My daughter will tell me about something bothering her. I’ll switch gears, think if this is the thing I missed. So. Fear, either specific or general is what compels many dads to make safe choices.

        Like

      3. What you have here at BBB is like Jim Carrey’s old movie, “The Truman Show.” We know how much you’ve grown through the years. Your aspirations. It’s all very positive or, at least searching for common ground.

        My babies. Will always be my babies. When I look at them. I also have to see how capable they have become as young women. They remind me. They say. Dad. I’m not little, let me go. I laugh. I will never let them go. Moms get credit for love but dad’s show you what love will go through. Sometimes even dads have to, let go.

        Like

      4. That was my favorite movie growing up. That’s such a powerful perspective about moms and dads. Thanks for sharing. X

        Like

      5. Pretty serious drama. Why did you like it? I used to watch Luc Besson’s “Leon.” Over and over. I’m certain it was how I made it through the specialized parts of the military and didn’t break. These movies we find at the age of our own personal development kind of, shape us. Somehow.

        Like

      8. Haha. Sorry. I think too much. I’m working on it. Someday I’ll reach the level of Netflix and Chill. #goalz

        Like

  25. Glad to see that you are well again. Sorry that you cannot go to India, and you are right to obey your father. India is not a safe country to travel alone. In the meantime, glad to see you well.

    Like

  26. First, huge congratulations on your #3 ranking! The best thing about that is the affirmation that you are helping a LOT of people!!

    I am very glad to hear that you’ve recovered!

    India: Father(s) know best!

    Respecting parents; you’ve reminded me of an incident that happened decades ago when I managed to steer teenager back to the straight and narrow. I checked my files, and it doesn’t look like I’ve ever written about it. So on my Wednesday night post I shall tell the tale, with thanks to you for reminding me of something that happened almost 30 years ago!

    THAT will be my comment for your article this evening!

    Like

    1. thank you Jeff!!! gosh, what a kind thing to say. yeah – He does know best. And i do recall a certain friend of mine who’s name rhymes with Schmeff telling me the same 🙂 Ooh I can’t wait to read the post!! hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  27. You have two wonderful Fathers! And your earthly Dad has clearly earned your honour. Maybe he’s worrying too much, but he so obviously cares for you – it’s too rare and wonderful! God bless you both!

    Like

  28. Good for you! There is so much to like in this post about honoring our parents… the commandment doesn’t say obey, it says honor, which is much more from the heart.

    Refreshing to see someone thinking this way as an adult, especially in our disposable society that thinks that anyone over 40 or 50 is ‘out of it’.

    Like

    1. thank you John, I appreciate your encouraging words. Yeah – honor. it’s a choice to do that. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  29. Such an inspiring story, so glad your blog and book are reaching so many people and inspiring others who struggle with eating disorders. Many many congrats on that. Bummer that India is cancelled but I am a firm believer of everything happens for a reason, so something better will come from this!

    Like

    1. Hi Jani, thank you so much for your kind words!! I’m with you – i believe it 100% happens for a reason 🙂 big hugs xo

      Like

    1. Thank you so much! hmmm, I don’t know! Have you entered your email on the right hand side for email notifications? If not, then it will only show up on your WordPress “reader.” I hope that helps! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Like

  33. Hey, I really admire your respect for your father. Thanks for sharing that! And you’re right- you absolutely can trust your heavenly Father in this as well (Proverbs 3:5-6).

    Like

  34. I’ve been praying about your trip, and am at so much peace about what has happened, and the way the decision has played out. I think you’re right on track Caralyn,

    I’m in a huge, unexpected, very unpleasant development at a critical decision making turn in my own life, and am so thankful for Godly advisors and mentors I have around me, who have prayed and given good counsel every step of the way. I’m so conscious of God’s presence in the midst of this terrible situation although the evidence of the eyes is quite different. What makes me so secure is that everything I’m doing and saying is in front of Godly people and so God has put me on solid ground to stand on.

    The way you’ve taken your decision, to me, is the same. There is no loss, only gain, as you continue to submit to God’s plan and guidance through Godly people in your life, while making freewill choices in the right way. Your stand for your relationship with your parents, will certainly be blessed in abundance, and your love and gratefulness to your dad is inspiring and an example. I’m so blessed to hear this, and love whenever you write about your dad. It continues to inspire me to be the same for my own dear daughter.

    Much love in Christ to your parents, especially to your dad, and blessings over the season you’re in.

    Indi

    Like

    1. Hi Indi, thank you so much for this encouraging note. I am disappointed that I will not be able to visit your beautiful home country, but I have to trust that this is all in God’s will. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through an unpleasant season right now, Indi. I’m glad that you have good people around you, helping you through it. Know that you and your family will be in my prayers during this difficult situation. Hang in there, dear friend. And for the record – I think your daughter is incredibly blessed and lucky to have you in her life and as someone to look up to 🙂 sending big hugs xo

      Like

  35. We dads are very important people, and our children are the most important people this side of heaven to us, Loved this post! And bless you for being such a wise and loving daughter.

    Like

    1. thank you so much! i think you’re right – they always know and want what’s best for us 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Like

  37. Congrats on your high ranking Caralyn!!!

    I think you have a really good attitude about not going to India. I’ve heard some saying, somewhere, about God closing certain doors but opening others up…I forget where though and what the saying is. Oh well…

    I do give a warning though that sometimes it can take awhile to see why things happened the way that they did. God does work things out for the best of those who follow Him, but sometimes it can see what that “best” is.

    In the meantime, if you’re in NYC on Wednesday, maybe you can find a good response to your “Where are all the young people?” question from your blog post a few months ago (if you haven’t yet). There’s a Young Adults’ Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral that evening at 7:30.

    Like

    2. Hey Brendan! thank you so much! that’s so true – His timing is always perfect – and just because there’s a delay doesn’t mean it’s a denial. And thanks for the heads up on the YA mass! sounds pretty awesome 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Like

      1. It is great!

        On a related note to His timing being perfect, here’s a verse I ran into for you to consider:

        “We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

        Like

  38. So glad to hear that you’re recovered from the flu. I’m touched by your honoring your father and how much of a hero he’s been to you when you were in the dark seasons. Beautiful. Such a reflection on earth of our relationship to God as our heavenly Father…our Abba. Dopeness. B)

    Like

  39. That was a great reaction. As my mom would say, “It was not meant to be!” Meaning not for now. Another time, maybe, you’ll see India under the best of circumstances. Bravo! I applaud you! Sometimes we have to take the road less traveled by just because it’s what’s right for us and how the Lord is leading.

    Like

  41. Dear Caralyn,
    You never cease to amaze me. The curve ball(s) certainly would put a damper on your spirits as they would on anyones. As I have many friends in both India and Pakistan, it is a shame that the political climate between the two countries could cause this to happen.
    Regarding your father, let me say this. Considering that you are a couple years younger than my own daughter, I would guess that your father is about my age. To think that you still have that kind of respect for him and will stay home simply because he said so is very admirable. As you said, he is your father, no matter how old you are. I suppose some of that will change once you get married and your husband will be the one charged with looking after and protecting you, but until such time, you are still daddy’s little girl. He can be proud of that and he obviously loves you very much. I am pleased to see that and pleased to see that he means so much to you.
    God Bless you,

    Jim

    Like

    1. Hey Jim, oh gosh, what a kind note. thank you friend. Yeah, he always has and always will have my best interest at heart. And he usually (always) knows best. That’s a great point about marriage, because that’s absolutely the truth – there will be “changing of the guard” sort of thing. Sometimes I wonder if that’s why I’ve been dragging my feet about getting married? Because I have such admiration for my father, if I kind of subconsciously don’t ever want to lose that? Sorry for the impromptu therapy session hahah 🙂 So glad you stopped by! big hugs xo

      Like

  43. While India is not super unsafe for foreigners, specially ladies, there are problems at times. It is better to have a companion and notnbe too adventurous. Listen to your dad. Sometimes men can be intuitive too. Congratulations on getting a great rating for your blog.

    Like

    1. Thanks friend. Yeah – everywhere can be dangerous – not just India. I think he was just mostly worried about the food and water, and rightfully so. Thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  45. I like your positive attitude towards something this bad. But as an Indian I’ll like to assure you that if you do come to India, Nothing wrong will happen. Don’t get me wrong, I admire your father’s concern, it’s safe to say that this it is one thing that transcends cultures. The reason why I am writing this is to make people aware that it’s a misconception about India that it’s not safe. Every place has some horrible instances, but that doesn’t mean it’s altogether unsafe. I hope you can come to India soon though. Would love to meet you.

    Like

    1. Thank you friend. Yeah, I really appreciate you saying that – I’m sorry if I offended you in my comments. I fully know that India is not unsafe. You’re right – danger is everywhere. Human trafficking is a global problem – with instances in the United States and all over the world. I think he was just mostly worried about the food and water situation with my digestive disease. I would absolutely LOVE to come to India, and am heart broken that I cannot go and meet the lovely people and experience the beautiful culture and landscape. And hopefully in my future there will be another trip. The majority of my friends are Indian, so I’m hopeful that there will be another trip sometime soon! thank you again for clearing that up 🙂 Only love for India in my heart!!! And I would love to meet you too!!! hugs and much love xoxoxo

      Like

  46. What a blessing to have such a loving and devoted father in your life. I haven’t seen my father in 8 years or so and rarely hear from him. I am so glad I have a Heavenly Father to count on and you count your blessings to have two fathers who love you dearly.

    Like

    1. thank you Came, I appreciate you sharing your story. I’m sorry that you haven’t seen him in 8 years. Hopefully that will change soon 🙂 and amen to that, friend. You DO have a Heavenly Daddy that loves you so immensely and will fight for you and protect you and longs to give you everything your heart desires 🙂 sending you so much love xox

      Like

  47. Wow, that’s a tough decision. I can somewhat relate – a couple of friends were planning a trip to Mexico and my parents wouldn’t let me go (not because it was Mexico, but because they didn’t trust the people I was going with). But honestly, in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t go. At the end of the day, our parents have lived so much longer than us, and they are always looking out for our best interests.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  48. Good move! Your dad has a lot of wisdom and I’m glad you called him. It’s a good reminder that if something is unsettling in your spirit, slow down, take a step back and listen to what God has to say about it, even if it’s not exactly what we want to hear! I’ve been there quite a few times myself. While saying no can be a bummer, and I’m sorry you’re passing up on this opportunity, you really made the right choice and it shows a lot of wisdom on your part. I really admire how gracefully and maturely (is that a word? haha) you are responding to it! Anyway, have a good night and I hope you get to do something as fun instead.

    Like

    1. thank you friend, I really appreciate your kind words. Yeah, gotta listen to God’s will and follow it, even if it’s not the most “fun”. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  49. My dear friend,

    So hard it has sounded, the no of your father – as you have written yourself: he loves you very much and therefore is also very much worried to see you go to India alone. I am a man and travelled many many times to India, so I also can speak from own experiences: your father is right to say: with a girlfrind or another one who accompanies you it would be fine, however alone as a woman is not so much advisable. Just in the recent years we have heard many awful stories that Indian women were raped by some gangs. When leaving the airport door in Delhi there are really many many people waiting so that it is not so easy first to be fetched by your friends and there are also several gates where to leave the airport. The only thing I can recommand: do your trip to India another time with some friends together. This surely will be fine.

    All good wishes to your heart
    Didi

    Like

    1. Hi Didi! So great to hear from you! Thank you so much for this awesome insight. Yeah, traveling alone where you don’t know the language or culture is never a smart thing. Thank you for that perspective. It makes the “medicine go down” a little easier, if that makes sense. Yeah – I hope that it will work out again in the future, because I would love to experience the culture! big hugs xo

      Like

Join the Conversation!