The Bachelor Finale & The Disappearing Line of Decency

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Just when you think you’ve seen it all, leave it to The Bachelor to pull an Emeril Lagasse and “Bam! Kick it up a knotch!”

In case you haven’t heard, The Bachelor season finale was on Monday and Tuesday of this past week. And…wow. Just…W O W.

It was a dumpster fire of everything wrong with the media today.

For a super quick recap, Arie Luyendyk Jr. – the Bachelor – was down to the final two: Becca Kufrin and Lauren Burnham. And he had a really difficult decision, because he loved them both.

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Becca, Arie and Lauren. Photo: E!

After much deliberation, he ended up proposing to Becca, only to call off the engagement with her, two months after the show finished filming, so that he could be with the runner up, Lauren.

But here’s the catch: he ambushed Becca and filmed the break up in its entirety. He ended things at one of their “Happy Couple Weekends.” (which are where the couple can spend time together in secret while the show is filming, as they’re not allowed to be seen in public because it would spoil the outcome of the show). She showed up thinking it was just a normal get together with her fiancé, and he showed up – camera crew in tow – and proceeded to blind side her with the break up for all the world to see.

And let’s not forget the grand puppeteer in all of this – ABC – airing the most devastating, humiliating, painful moment in this poor girl’s life — in a SPLIT SCREEN no less.

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Photo credit: Vulture

Chris Harrison, the host, kept reminding us of how this footage was unedited, setting a record for the longest, most dramatic raw footage ever to be aired in television history.

You could just feel them salivating over it.

They drew it out – for three hours. And then, added an additional live show the following night for another two hours.

It was just relentless.

ABC destroyed this young woman for the sake of ratings, and is now laughing all the way to the bank.

And honestly, I felt really icky watching it.

I had a text thread going with my parents – I’m in NYC, they’re in Ohio – and we were watching this horror show “together.”

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And the conclusion was unanimous:

After about 30 seconds of the split screen assault on this woman, we didn’t like it. It was blatantly clear that this was not right. We were seeing something private that we should not be a part of.

It felt voyeuristic.

Aggressively and ruthlessly invasive.

And as much as I hated myself for watching this gut wrenching moment on TV, I couldn’t turn away.

I was caught in the viewing trap that ABC had so expertly manipulated into existence.

I am part of the problem. 

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I don’t know about you, but it feels like over the last several years – but especially recently – it feels like any last ditch effort of decency in the movie/television/media industry has raised their white flag and given up.

The garbage being belched out of Hollywood seems to have exponentially regressed in the last year.

Think about it: Fifty Shades of Grey is on it’s third sequel. The movie that won Best Picture, The Shape of Water, heavily involves bestiality. Which is not too far of a leap from 2014’s Best Screenplay, Her, involving a romantic relationship between man and an artificially intelligent “Siri-like” machine. This last year, the movie 13 Reasons Why glamorized teen suicide, while To the Bone all but glorified anorexia. Not to mention YouTuber Logan Paul broadcasting the dead body of a young man who committed suicide on his channel. There’s even a TV show that is literally called, “Luicifer.”

Frankly, The Bachelor’s morally numb and invasive finale seems like par for the course for 2018.

Which begs the question: Where is the line? 

Or perhaps more accurately…Does a line even still exist?

And unfortunately, the answer to that question is sobering at best.

Because I am part of the problem.

My watching that finale, and talking about it, and listening to podcasts about it — that is the problem.

What we will allow is what will continue.

Every movie ticket we buy. Every “view” we give these television events — those are votes we cast with our eyeballs and our pocketbooks.

The mainstream, corporate media has proven to us over and over again that they are governed by one thing, and one thing only: money.

So if it sells, you better believe they’ll be dishing it out, no matter how vile or morally outrageous.

And we, as an audience, are letting them get away with it. But watching. By reading. By discussing. By keeping it relevant and propelling its social influence and social currency.

It’s time we take back that power. Make a stand that says, enough is enough.

By supporting films and shows that have positive messages. By not giving our money or viewership to media that corrodes the moral threshold of society. By resisting and taking a stand against media or personalities that shame faith and God and make a mockery out of believers. By sharing articles on Facebook that are positive, uplifting messages that counter all the garbage we’re being force-fed on a daily – hourly – basis.

It’s time we take back the world in which we live.

Enough is enough.

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247 thoughts on “The Bachelor Finale & The Disappearing Line of Decency”

  1. Agree re watching television. If any of your readers are like me then they may find this in kids TV shows too. The constant message of self first, ignoring adults, not to mention other agenda really gets to me. I’ve decided not to give money to Disney anymore and I really guard my own eyes too. I’m pretty much left with the Hallmark channel! Ha!

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    1. thanks so much Andrea, for your thoughts on this. Yeah – i agree! they make the adults seem like bafoons too! so sad. love me some Hallmark too! hugs x

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  2. 13 reasons why didn’t glorify suicide. Hopefully it opened up discussion in families so teen suicide won’t be as prolific.
    The only reality I watch is the great British bake off. The worst thing that happened in that was a sabotaged baked Alaska.
    People demeaning themselves for five minutes of fame is not my idea if entertainment. It’s just sad

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts on this. I hope that’s what came of 13 reasons Why – definitely a lot of reactions to it. A sabotaged baked alaska hahahahaha that made me lol! hugs x

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  3. Just, you know, unplug the whole device and take it to goodwill or something. Replace it with an aquarium or terrarium and put something to love in it.
    Then again, I’m a radical, I don’t actually expect Americans to be ‘ready to unplug’!

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    1. hahah i’m with ya there! you know, I have always wanted to do a vertical herb garden! perhaps it’s time! hugs xo

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  4. amazing! thanks for posting this. I have always despised the different vices of the media employed towards feeding unhealthy things like this. I never knew this show had such elements. God bless you for standing for the truth always. Respect!

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  5. I had my dose of these so-call reality shows back then. I don’t watch TV anymore save for one or two shows, but great post overall.

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  6. Umm…I think you may be missing the point in The Shape of Water.

    Any ways how’s dating life in NYC? We want to hear about your dating!

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    1. Thanks Tommy, yeah I guess I did! haha it’s…well, let’s just say I’m thankful I haven’t met any “Arie’s” yet! Hugs and love xox

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  7. I’ve never been into reality tv, but I do like some historical fiction and I will admit that some of them are a little on the mature side {Game of Thrones, American Gods, etc}. I’ve recently felt really convicted because once I see something, or even hear something, I can’t un-see or un-hear it. It’s permanently etched in my brain. I’ve had to explain that along with the concept of innocence to my son {who is 14} and as I was explaining why exactly he cannot watch Deadpool, I felt convicted. Why should I treat his innocence any better than I do my own? And how does what I watch and listen to affect my own life?

    These are, of course, all rhetorical questions, but I am really, really thinking about what I watch and listen to and how that affects the rest of me.

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    1. thanks for this reflection – yeah i haven’t watched GOT yet. those are really powerful questions! Hugs and love xox

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  8. I’ve never watched the show. Hearing what they did to that young woman was absolutely heartbreaking. The darkness of society felt so oppressive reading that. Took it to prayer and in a nutshell this is what He gave me: Live Christ so strikingly that people remember that moment of light in their life and not just the moments of darkness.

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  9. I rarely if ever watch network television. I’m usually watching HGTV, Food Network, or Turner Classic Movies. Last Fall I was visiting a friend and she told me about HBO’s ‘Big Little Lies’ and that she had recorded it and why don’t we watch an episode each night I was going to be at her house. I thought that would be great because I had read the book and thought it was really good. I started watching and thought, “This isn’t the book, this might be based on the book, but a lot is different.” The sex that was added to the television version was over the top. It was soft porn.That’s why I enjoyed the book, because it wasn’t all about sex….oh how differently this was done..sex, sex, sex…just oozing with it. Reese Witherspoon’s character had an affair in the HBO version, not so in the book. Maybe they thought the book (or that character she plays) was too boring…sex sells. I’m exhausted by it all and pretty much just plain grossed out by it.

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    1. Oh yikes, sounds pretty intense, and yet, sadly, par for the course of tv and movies these days. thanks for sharing! Hugs and love xox

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  12. Girly, you are right on the money. I used to watch The Real Housewives of NYC. I was addicted to it, truly. I watched my last show two years ago, and I can tell you-I DON’T MISS IT ONE BIT. The people were so shallow, had done nothing for fame and exploited their family members and friends for wealth and fame. I couldn’t relate. I think one of the girls, the dancer, had her legal mogul of a husband to give her a surprise 40th birthday bash. I don’t remember every detail, but when I saw the fountains filled with champagne, and girls dancing in cages? I never watched again. Yes, very well said. 🙂

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    1. Thanks so much Michele! This is really great advice. Thanks for your thoughtful response! Hugs and love xox

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  13. I cannot bear to watch shows like:- The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Wife Swap, Married at First Sight etc. They are degrading, superficial, contrived and immoral. They undermine relationships based on values, marriage and the family unit, they trivialise the importance of respect, trust, honesty and falling in love organically and not on how you look. The makers of such TV shows and movies have no moral compass therefore they have no limits, the sad thing about this is that gullible people are being cheated, conned and ridiculed. Funny, I know of someone called “Lucifer” who is just like that!!!!! He is laughing at us, having a field day at all the destruction he is causing through HOLLYWOOD. 99% of what Lucifer’s says is true, twist a little lie and it becomes very attractive.
    Caralyn, I say you need to know the enemy to defend what is good and righteous and what comes from God. Good on you for writing about it, I don’t watch these shows but it’s great that you have so that you can stand for the truth. Finally, we can live in the world but no be of the world. God’s grace to you ❤

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    1. Thanks for this thoughtful reflection. You’re right – they’re undermining all those thing! Hugs and love xox

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  16. I’ve never watched it and I’m so glad I haven’t gotten into it…just another thing to shield our minds from. There are so few shows on tv today that are enriching in any way.

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  18. I don’t watch and haven’t seen or read any of the Fifty Shades stuff… nor did I see the movies you mention. Now, I’m old. I watch old repeats of Murder She Wrote and Jeopardy. It might make me boring. lol

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    1. Jeopardy — now that is some entertaining programming right there~!! 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  19. Tell it how it is woman! Stick it to em, and happy belated International Women’s Day! Thanks for these posts!! They are awesome, laced with humor yet filled with conviction ❤️🔥🙌🏽🙏🏽😀

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    1. Oh my gosh you’re amazing. Thank you! Yes! Okay, so what I find to be the easiest is to go to the page: http://www.amazon.com/shop/BeautyBeyondBones OK. From there, you can click on the little book icon that is to “add bookmark.” And so that way, You won’t have to type it in every time, it will just be conveniently right there on your sidebar or on top of your browsing window for a one click experience. And the best part about all of this is that even if you use that link, you stay signed into your account and your shopping cart remains full with the same things — aka, you don’t have to re-enter your login info if you use it! So there ya go! I hope that helps. Thank you again for using my link – the support is greatly appreciated! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Great post! I think I can answer the question about whether or not there are still moral ‘lines’ in Hollywood. The answer is yes, there are, just like there are such lines which apply to every human being. The lines haven’t gone away, the collective “we” just don’t respect them anymore. The lines and boundaries of morality weren’t conceived by humanity, they were given to us by God. They are not temporary or a convenience. As somebody once said, “They are the 10 commandments, not the 10 suggestions.” Less exposure to the immorality around us is a good thing to practice. I suggest that it might be a better thing to recognize the Universal Moral Law-Giver as such and follow Him. IMHO that is. Thanks for all you do and may God’s blessings continue to rain down upon you and yours.

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    1. Thank you so much DT! That’s such a great point. It really is so true – we need to respect the line again! Hugs and love xox

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  24. The world is simply a reflection of our own state of mind. The only way to heal the world is to be healed in our own mind. Put all your faith in the Love of God within you. This is the answer to everything.

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  26. “The Shape Of Water” does not heavily involve bestiality. It is a FICTIONAL FANTASY FILM by a brilliant director. I would watch ten films like that before I’d ever waste my time watching “The Bachelor “!!

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  27. I couldn’t agree more – We we’re fans of The Walking Dead…until the trough scene. We realized WE were feeding the ratings and egging these producers on. They keep going bigger and more obscene all the time – they have to in order to keep up shock value.

    We have to vote with our views and our dollars.

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    2. thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Britt. .I’ve never seen The Walking Dead. So true – we’re the voters! Hugs and love xox

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  28. I have never, ever watched The Bachelor/Bachelorette. I don’t plan on starting, either. The only reality TV show I followed for a long time was The Biggest Loser. But, eventually, I lost interest for multiple reasons. These shows are scripted, way too dramatic, and not an accurate portrayal of “reality.” I majored in Communication Studies, Mass Media in college, and it was a massive eye-opener. I learned to be an “ad detective” and recognize how much product placement is present in our media and what we consume.

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    1. Yeah you’re right about that Laura.l Beth. They really are just one big advertisement and product placement. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  29. This really is sickening. I believe this sort of thing happened several years ago on the special they air after the finale. It’s so hard to watch this show because of how fake it is. All of the “dates” involve drinking, making out, and exotic thrill experiences. Plus, all the drama. No one just sits and talks to get to know each other! I’m so glad you were honest about your part in watching this show, as we all are guilty of supporting the media. But we all can be a part of change for good!

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    1. Thanks for your thoughts on this Emily. You’re right! Can’t they just go out for a coffee date like a normal person?! Hahha glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  31. Great post Caralyn. It’s pretty much the same over here in the UK. Television seems to be aimed at ‘the lowest common denominator’ and all we seem to get is ‘pap’ voyeuristic programmes, inane quiz shows and rubbish basically. Do you have anything like ‘Gogglebox’? This is a television programme featuring families sitting on their settee watching the television. I mean. Really?? Unfortunately unless we all stop watching the junk, television producers will continue to produce them. Sometimes I wonder why I pay for a TV licence!

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  32. We are victims to ourselves. Matthew 6:13 (ESV)
    13  And lead us not into temptation,
    but deliver us from evil.

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  33. Well, until I read this post I had no idea what the hubbub was about. People on my Facebook timeline were going on about how awful it was. I have always thought the show was awful, in fact have not watched for years.

    I don’t watch TV hardly at all. HGTV gets my vote…House Hunters, Flip or Flop, Fixer Upper…and yeah, this are probably staged too. But still. Or history channel stuff. But my tv is downstairs, and my laundry and kitchen are upstairs. Don’t get anything done if I turn on “the idiot box” as I call it. (That is not what I think of people who watch, it’s just how I feel when I do!)

    I am the oddball in my house—hubby and daughters all have shows they like to binge watch on Hulu/Netflix/whatever. Oldest daughter paid for her own subscription to HBO thru the Roku. I fill my time with other social media, and I still read blogs…😉

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    1. Hi Shauna, thanks for sharing your thought on this. Yeah, it was really awful to watch. the idiot box hahaha I love HGTV too! Chip and Joanna forever!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  34. It was just awful to watch yet like you I could not turn away … sadly I think line between good tv and common decency has been blurred long ago . Thank you for your insight !

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  35. Awful. That poor woman should be compensated. Yes, for anything good out of Hollywood, we have tons of bad. We’re losing moral consciousness, I’m afraid, as well as a moral conscience. Thanks for bringing this to our attention, Caralyn.

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  36. I love this show as well, and also found myself cringing while watching it! I’m going to ban myself too… Good luck to both of us 😊

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  37. He sat there waiting for her to say it was all okay and comfort him for being a jackass. LOL. I love that she didn’t give it to him!

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  39. First thank you for liking my blog, JeanBrunson.com. I totally agree with you about the Bachelor. It’s a terrible thing to do to anyone. I don’t watch it, but if I did, that would be the end for me.

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  41. I fully agree these “reality” TV shows scrape the bottom of the barrel to chase rating and filming someone’s break up is low. However, I very much doubt she had no idea what was going on, these shows will regularly set up scenes and create dramas for the cameras

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  42. Hey, BBB. Love the post and the elegant way you painted that picture. I’ve never been a Bachelor fan but, then, I’m an old man. I’ve always said the show blatantly promotes promiscuity. Because I share my thoughts so willingly, I’m not allowed to be in the room when my bride of 50 years is watching it. Sometimes I sneak in but she always has her finger poised over the pause button so it’s a wasted effort. Seems to me that most of the participants could find a better potential mate at a bar, or better yet, God forgive me, a church. I picked my wife out when I was a senior in high school. She was a freshman. She picked me six years later. Guess we’re old fashion but she still enjoys the show, adding to the problem, which I point out regularly.

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  43. We gave up on cable tv.
    With 4 kids and trying to keep life as clean as we can, cable had to go.
    Netflix is it. If we dont watch it, shows like it dont get suggested. We can keep our kids content appropriate and family movies easy.

    I was never a bachelor fan, it takes total advantage of hearts and gains from the destruction following.

    Good luck to you when next season comes out!

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  44. This is why I watch car chases on the news and NOT trash like this. You can’t ban it because of the First Amendment. However, this “reality” crap (some of it is quite scripted) just makes me sick.

    I have a TV that’s three-years-old, but I hardly ever turn it on, because I simply can’t take the lowest common denominator of stupidity anymore-which the late Frank Zappa delved into, stating that stupidity is the most plentiful element in the Universe-more plentiful than hydrogen.

    I don’t blame Hollywood for ANY of this because Hollywood is the mirror. People who don’t like what they see on the idiot box should either ENCOURAGE (as opposed to LEGISLATE) others to live a spiritually healthy lifestyle or just do what Mick Jagger and Keith Richards did: throw the TV out of a hotel window.

    Hollywood runs a business. It’s up to parents to teach their children the difference between right and wrong-and the parents aren’t doing it.

    By the way, BBB, how’s it going?

    I’m getting remarried in December.

    Jim

    freedomfortheoppressed

    By the way, BBB, I was never interested in watching FAMILY JEWELS or THE OSBOURNES.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. That’s so true – it’s a mirror and a business. Congrats! Exciting. Hugs and love xox

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      5. I could never watch The Bachelor. All I watch are car chases on the news-just in case they don’t end the way that they usually do-like the idiot on a motorcycle in L.A. who ran the red and got clobbered by an RTD bus live on the news.

        Of course they played it back in instant replay!

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      8. Hi Jim!! So amazon: basically all you have to do is either click my link that takes you to my “influencer” site, and then from there navigate amazon as you normally would. OR just visit amazon.com/shop/beautybeyondbones and then navigate from there as you normally would! By visiting my link first before shopping, it makes any purchases you make be associated with my affiliate link. So your price is not affected in any way shape or form, but amazon gives this blog a tiny percentage, as the “source” for bringing the traffic to amazon. If that makes sense? THANK YOU so much for doing that Jim! It truly makes such a huge difference and allows me to continue blogging and producing content!! Have a beautiful weekend and big hugs and love! Xox

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  45. Humankind seems to have a “fascination with abomination”, like looking at a car wreck – we can’t turn away. I wonder if this is a choice or if it’s in our DNA. Feels primal – like making sure that you’re not the next victim of a wild animal.

    On the other hand, the Germans have a phrase, no doubt someone has mentioned it, but if not, it’s Schadenfreud. It means taking pleasure from the humiliations of others. That’s also what we do.

    Great writing! I agree so much. Thank you.

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  46. Great post! you are RIGHT about the horrid Bachelor scene…He was pretty slimy throughout…
    here’s to the airing of some great drama and mysteries, rather than game shows, contests where judges obliterate the contestants… where is the “Me, Too” movement re: The Bachelor, I wonder… Write on! you’re a joy to read!

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  49. You are right. It is time to take back the world in which we live. Stop the pornography, the rated R and X movies, all the evil in media. People need to take a break from TV and movies and breathe some fresh air. Thank you for taking a stand for what is right!

    Like

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