Dear Boy Scouts,

I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but The Boy Scouts have decided to officially change their name.


They’re dropping the “Boy” – and instead, becoming simply the Scouts BSA, in an action that will now include girls in their program.

I woke up on Wednesday, checked my phone, and that headline was literally the first thing I saw. And I actually let out an audible groan, accompanied by an epic eyeroll.


Are you kidding me? What are we doing, America? 

Now from the surface, this may not seem like a big deal. And maybe, perhaps, even a positive step in the right direction to include girls in one of this country’s most formative boys’ program. After all, it’s been around for 108 years. It’s time they get with the times and let the girls play, right?


Now, before you tune me out, I invite you to just read on with an open mind.

I’m going to just come right out and say it: there is nothing wrong with having an exclusively boys club, and an exclusively girls club: The Girl Scouts.


It’s not because I’m some backwoods, brainwashed, out of touch conservative that thinks women should just vacuum in pearls all day and cook dinner and meet their husbands at the door with a martini.

Shop this look!

It’s because you and I – as males and females – uniquely reflect the masculine and feminine reflection of God, each in our own beautiful and intricate way.

The likeness of God is as complicated as the “issue” that gender has become in recent years.


We can’t even buy little girls pink “onesies” anymore without being labeled as an anti-feminist, with an antiquated view of gender.

Preschools in Sweden have adopted “gender-neutral” school environments.


UT-Austin recently rolled out a program rejecting masculinity, going so far as to cite excessive masculinity as a mental illness.


Traditional gender expression has become something to squelch. And frankly, it is under attack.

But the fact is, God, in His incredible being, has both masculine and feminine traits, and we – created as males and females, in His image – reflect that in a very specific and unique way.

Men have an inherent yearning to protect. To provide. They strive for bravery, strength, and honor, craving respect and justice.

And females were created to compliment that masculine expression in our own way – with beauty and mercy, having a nurturing heart that longs to love, foster relationships, and create a family – that is literally knit into our biology.

And hear me when I say: I’m not saying that females are not strong, or that men can’t be gentle. We, as children of God, are beautifully complicated expressions of a mix of both masculine and feminine traits of our Maker.

But it’s not a crime to have formative organizations for our youngsters that foster those traditional traits for our boys and girls.

The Boy Scouts foster strong young men, and the Girl Scouts foster strong young women. It’s not discriminatory. It’s biology.

I pulled up the Boy Scout oath:

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law. 
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mental awake and morally straight.

And the Scout Law says that a Scout is…

Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.

I mean, Hallelujah! If more men actually lived like that, I don’t think I’d be single right now!

I remember growing up, several of my guy friends received the highest “Scout Honor” and became “Eagle Scouts,” and that meant something. It was such a coveted and revered title that boys aspired to.

And I was a Girl Scout. And I loved the sisterhood it fostered. Heck, that was part of the reason I became president of my sorority in college.

In case you were wondering, the Girl Scout oath is as follows…

On my honor I will try
To serve God and my country
To help people at all time,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law. 

And that Law stating:

I will do my best to be honest and fair,
Friendly and helpful,
Considerate and caring,
Courageous and strong, 
And responsible for what I say and do,
And to respect myself and others,
Respect authority,
Use resources wisely, 
Make the world a better place, 
And be a sister to every Girl Scout. 

Again, traits that, Heavens to Betsy, in the narcissistic world of social media and snapchat and Kylie Jenner, we need to be instilling these values in the younger generation.

The Girl Scouts aren’t some backwards thinking organization about just crafting and cookies, either. They prepare the young girls for STEM careers (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.)

And from their website, their aim is to “help girls pursue four goals: Develop their full potential; relate to others with increasing understanding, skill and respect; develop a meaningful set of values to guide their actions and make sound decisions; and contribute to the improvement of society.

What is wrong with that???

I would like to submit that instead of suppressing that which makes us either masculine or feminine, in efforts to be more inclusive or “forward thinking,” the real progressive action would be to openly and publicly embrace that which makes us male and female in the image and likeness of God.

In fact, what if we were to step out in boldness and say that, we need to “cut the crap” and get back to our roots. The roots that this country was founded on. The roots that brought our ancestors to this country. The roots that for years, have shaped this nation, until only recently: our trust and belief in God.


We’re doing a disservice to the younger generation by denying little boys and little girls the formative programs that foster those characteristics that reflect those masculine and feminine reflections of God.

Can you imagine the reverberation in our culture if we taught young boys to embrace their masculine likeness of respect and dignity and honor? Or if we encouraged young girls to celebrate the strength and mercy and fortitude that lives in each of our hearts, as daughters of God?

We would be raising each other up. Calling the other to be the highest version of themselves.

And I’d be so bold as to say that by encouraging these masculine expressions of God in our young men, we wouldn’t have so many Harvey Weinstein’s walking around.

We’d have a generation of men. Who lived with integrity. And followed the freakin Boy Scout Law.

We live in a broken world. Christian values are attacked every single day, in the news media, in the entertainment industry, in advertisements, school curriculum, our laws and cultural norms.

The answer to this conundrum lies within our own four walls. The world is not going to do us any favors.


It is our responsibility to instill those values in the future generations. Schools aren’t going to do it. The Disney Channel isn’t going to do it. And now, not even the Boy Scouts is going to do it anymore.

Boy Scouts, you’ve really let me down…caving to society’s feminist bully culture like that.

It’s time you take your own advice and adopt the bravery you say you stand for.

Quick sponsor shoutout…Did you see my FabFitFun unboxing video!? I am *loving* the spring box! It was valued at over $354.99! It’s a quarterly box of beauty, fashion, home and fitness products for only 39.99? YES. PLEASE. You can get $10 off when you use my code BLOOM10 at check out too 🙂




@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram




A big thank you to my sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

Next time you’re shopping on Amazon, be sure to stop by my link, first! Doing so is absolutely FREE for you, and a great way to support this blog! (When you stop by my link first, whatever you get on Amazon will give this blog a little kickback :))

My favorite item someone purchased last week was a Three-Toed Sloth Stuffed Animal! So if that was you…THANK YOU! 🙂


For Podcast versions of my posts, please check out Patreon! You make this blog possible 🙂

***NEW!! For outfit details, you can check out my LIKE.TO.KNOW.IT page or follow me in the App!


430 responses to “Dear Boy Scouts,”

    • Thanks so much!! I appreciate you passing it along 🙂 Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Matthew, I appreciate your support! Hugs and love xox

  1. Good for you for posting YOUR free speech opinion, which can be dangerous in this day and age. I’m shocked daily by the illogical ideas that people IN POWER are embracing and trying to impose on everyone in this country. The BSA has become a sad ass-kissing, joke. My sons will never be Scouts.
    As a UT Austin graduate, I’m not shocked but I am saddened by this latest ridiculous campaign. Young people go through experimental stages, but they do not need to be encouraged in it. If we leave them alone, they will eventually grow up. I know because I was pretty experimental when I went to UT. Do not think that because you wear men’s clothes at age 20 that you have to do that your whole life, or paint your nails when you’re 30.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Those are some great points. Yeah I hope that other organizations will form or come out of the woodwork for the youngsters. 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  2. “And hear me when I say: I’m not saying that females are not strong, or that men can’t be gentle. We, as children of God, are beautifully complicated expressions of a mix of both masculine and feminine traits of our Maker.”
    It honestly frightens me as a parent to have these conversations with my children. Not because I’m unclear in my God-given feminine role, wavering in my beliefs of the male/female design of our Creator, or have difficulties in discussing the liberal social agenda attack on Biblical values with them, but because in having these conversations and raising my children with conservative views, it sets them up to be labeled bigots by their increasingly liberal and secular peer group.

    This has got to stop.

    • Thank you so much!! I know – it is so scary and sad to think about. These views are not bigoted. They are what we have always been taught, and until only recently, have been celebrated – or at least tolerated. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

    • And worse I find parents not clearly saying “you’re a boy” “you’re a girl” and that’s a good thing. But rather they are not identifying gender as if it is up to the little tykes to figure out? Help. I was enough if a mess growing up that if I hadn’t known alongside that I was a boy – I shudder to think. I keep going back to Matthew 5:10-11 where jesus tells us when men revile us for his sake to rejoice. So no fears in labels. Young people who stand in love not anger or hate may be mislabeled bigots etc but it will not stand up to the character of their lives. Thanks for writing. You’re doing a great job with your children.

  3. Thank you! What a statement of truth. The fact is we need more masculinity out there. Great book “Crisis in Masculinity” by Leanne Payne from years ago dealt with that well. I cringed with a family, the children of a friend, didn’t want the grandparents to refer to the boys as “little boys” or anything so they could “choose what they wanted to be.” What happened to just acknowledging biology and celebrating it: “You’re a boy and that’s a good thing.” More of that and we would have less confusion in gender. And what is that happening at the university you cited? Argh. Thank you for your bold willingness to speak. You are right — there is a gift in the Boys’ and Girls’ scouting programs. Seriously. Keep speaking!

    • Thanks friend. I’ll have to check out that book – thanks for the recco. Yeah that’s what they’re doing in Sweden— letting the kids choose. Oh the times we’re living in! Hugs and love xox

      • Leanne Payne is a remarkable author teaching on gender and healing. She’s the one who had written extensively on how the father’s voice affirms identity. When you see that it makes sense why we are in such a crisis of gender identity with the lack of fathers. Lord have mercy!

  4. I found this to be a compelling read and I mostly agree. In general terms, Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts teach the same morality and mostly the same things. There’s nothing wrong with allowing some single sex activities – its nice to have things all girls or all boys sometimes.

    The problems arise on the local level. I was never a Girl Scout because Girl Scouts sucked where I grew up. The women who ran the troops really emphasized the “being a man’s helper mate” merit badge activities like cooking and sewing. The uniforms were skirts and sashes, and while Boy Scouts had cool names and traditions like being Eagles or Tenderfoots or Cubs, Girl Scouts were Brownies or Daisies. I would have loved Boy Scouts with the camping and knot tying but it simply wasn’t an option. Worse, the first activity to get funds cut? Girl Scouts (and girl sports). Now, I know things have changed a lot, and thats a good thing, but at the local level, in conservative communities? This does still happen. Giving girls the option to choose the scout group that allows them more freedom of choice isn’t a bad thing. It’s also not a bad thing for families with boys and girls to be able to have one Scout troop meeting instead of two.

    I’m probably looking more at the practicalities. You raise some points I will definitely be thinking on.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, being a man’s helper mate is problematic thinking for sure. And those are great practical points for sure. I appreciate you joining the dialogue!! Hugs and love xox

    • Most of those appealing “fun” activities that the Boy Scouts do are 100% available to girls but most of the leaders WONT do them. We as women leaders and role models should help our girls develop skills that are not just for boys. I have a daughter that LOVES to camp and tie knots and whittle with a knife but that doesn’t mean I’m signing her up for Boy Scouts.
      I can teach a group of girls those things in girls scouts and have just as much fun!

      • So true!!!! Yeah growing up and going to Christian summer camp was the same thing. We had the girls and boys separate bunks and groups but we did the same exact activities! We went camping and rock climbing. We would have to capsize a sail boat and then flip it back up, do “Eskimo rescues” on capsized canoes, learn how to tie knots and identify plants in the forest. Just because were girls doesn’t mean we can’t do those traditionally masculine things!

      • If “Scouts” is run in a similar way to the summer camp you went to then I think everyone’s happy and I think that is exactly what the scouts is trying to do. I was part of girl scouts as a kid and had the same experience as rappmoffett. I just didn’t have as much fun as my brother did in boy scouts since they did more, went on more trips and had more funding

      • I think thats wonderful and I wish you’d been a leader in my area. But if you couldn’t run the troop and had to rely on someone else, wouldn’t you like your daughter to at least have the option of joining a troop that did things she liked? Don’t get me wrong, I think Girl Scouts has definitely moved beyond my experience with it and I think this name change has more to do with declining enrollment than any concern about girls. I’m just glad to see options opening up. How I coveted my older brother’s Scout uniform, it was so much cooler… 🙂

  5. this is so well-written! i wish the majority of our society felt this way. in the past, i myself have professed my views as anti-feminist–though a misleading title, what i mean is that i am against MODERN feminism and the fight for superiority, but an advocate for equality. men and women were created equal, but with two separate roles in the community, and i think our generation has a difficult time differentiating between those principles.

    • Thanks friend 🙂 hahaha I hear ya! That’s what I’ll do for my hubby one day!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  6. I don’t identify as pissed off, it’s just imposed on me by mentally ill gender Marxists.

  7. It is too bad that political correctness has extended to the Boy Scout and even to accepting one’s biological sex. I appreciate your bringing up the topic and exploring it.

  8. Girl – I love your heart and the way you express yourself. Right off the bat I’m going to say that I don’t share the same opinion here but that doesn’t invalidate yours. My perspective is this: I’m the mom and current den leader of a second grade scout. I’ve been his den leader since he started. We’re a small group and almost all of the den dads have jobs that require travel or odd hours. Simply put: they don’t have regular schedules. I do. I was never a Girl Scout. I never grew up camping. I’m not… outdoorsy. But I’m learning. And the decision to allow girls to join almost validates me as a leader. Now, fortunately, our cub master and the rest of our pack are completely welcoming and supportive. There are both male and female leaders, and neither one is the “consolation prize.” We follow BSA guidelines for uthe knit comes to scout and leader safety and protection.

    Girls in Boy Scouts will not camp with boys. They will bunk with girls. I bunked alone when I went to Cub Scout camp. From what I understand, never having been a Girl Scout, the topics are different than those we study in Boy Scouts. Some girls want to study the “boy” subjects, and I think we should let them.

    Thanks for reading to here. I am really not here to bash your thoughts, as I said, I think they are eloquent and authentic. Thank you for allowing this space to discuss.

    • Hey Jennie! Thank you so much for sharing this awesome perspective. I’m so glad you joined the conversation! that’s so awesome that you’re a den leader. Your son (and the troop) is really lucky to have you in that position. Great point! Thanks for the powerful food for thought! Hugs and love xox

  9. “Men and women were created equal, but with two separate roles in the community”

    Does it actually say that in the Bible though? It says people are created in God’s image, but that’s really all. The rest of the stuff we’ve mostly made up as we go along. There’s nothing Biblical about, say, boys wearing pants, or girls having long hair, or whatever. That’s all cultural. In the Bible everyone wore dresses (okay, tunics) and probably had long hair. And fwiw, most people had several wives, too.

    I think it is unfair to force people into those things if they don’t want them. Why fight over it? What’s wrong with live and let live? If a boy wants to be a non traditional boy, I guess I don’t see the problem, any more than if a boy (or girl) wants to be a more traditional girl. As long as it isn’t hurting anyone, why is this worth a) getting mad about or b) staking our religious ideas on one way or the other?

    Does that make someone less of a Christian? It seems like what really matters is that they are treating other people with respect and kindness, like you said in the post.

    • Hi Liz, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. No, I don’t think that is in the bible…and I don’t think that quote was from my article. If so, then forgive me, but I’m really scratching my head because i don’t think I said that that was specifically in the bible. You’ve brought up some really great points and I appreciate you joining the dialogue. Live and let live is a very powerful way to operate. It needs to go both ways. Thanks again for stopping by! big hugs to you xox

      • Sorry, you are right, that was a reply to a commenter who said that rather than in your post and I was replying to them.

        That view (that men and women have separate but equal roles) is pretty common in church.

        I have a bit of a problem with that; if they are equal, then why are they separate?

        But sure, I see the need for celebration of specific things/groups too. Like we could say, all holidays are equal so we don’t need to celebrate any, etc, and then no one would have much fun. I see the silliness in that. There are definitely positive sides to celebrating and lifting up specific people or ideas.

        The problem I have when it comes to gender is that ‘separate’ is usually code for ‘here is the list of things girls should not do. Maybe you don’t think that but a lot of church folks do. It’s hard to find balance.

      • oh gotcha gotcha. That’s a great point: celebrating and lifting up all people and ideas. Yeah – that’s true. Because girls are capable of everything boys are! there’s not a “restriction list” simply because we have the female anatomy. Empowerment of females does not have to mean belittling men, if you know what I mean 🙂 thanks again for stopping by and joining the convo! I love reading your thoughts!! Hugs and love xox

    • hahaha oh my gosh that’s hysterical! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  10. My neck is literally aching and my eyes are damp after reading this!! Yes, yes and more yes!! I am a proud Gold Award Girl Scout. My son will be receiving his Eagle in the next few months and my daughters have been proud Girl Scouts for 9 years with no plan to stop with me serving as the troop leader to them and the other precious, now middle school aged girls, that make up our troop. But lately with all of this anti-traditionalism, or whatever you want to call it, I’m finding myself more and more mentally and emotionally exhausted. It’s hard to feel like you’re swimming against the tide. All. The. Time. I have to keep reminding myself of the story of the starfish on the beach. I can’t save them all, but I can make a difference for this one.

    • aw, thank you so much Tina! I’m so glad this resonated with you! And congrats on your Gold Award and your son’s Eagle Scout status! That is really something to celebrate. Mentally and emotionally exhausted – amen to that. Hugs and love xox

  11. Great article Beauty! I was just as appauled as you though not entirely surprised. The BSA has caved.

    Stop. Rewind BSA. Back to basics. Genesis 1:27…”male and female He created them.”

    Thanks again for standing upon the most basic and bedrock principles that God has instituted among His creation. Let not man, or woman, take from His glory.

    • Thank you so much Tim! Amen – back to basics. thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox

  12. Did I hear sniffles? I hope it’s just allergies! Hope you’re past it or a cold soon!

    I was going to ask what’s wrong with a wife vacuuming in pearls, but I want to stay on good terms here! 

    Catholic boys and girls school. Julie told me she and her friends found having no guys around was a positive factor in their education. I must believe that the same thing applies to scouts as young men and women learn about themselves and being important, contributing members of society!

    I think I might have written to you about Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles from the 70’s. It lampooned racism by serving it up in heaps. N****r was sprinkled liberally throughout the script, and it was hilarious!! Today we’re too uptight to joke about racism or anything else. Too uptight to admit our own gender.

    Your comments about male and female attributes was also spot in, echoing what I wrote about the book “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge on 3/18.

    I hope you don’t take a bunch of heat on this one, but I’d buckle up if I were you! Prayers & hugs! Very well done tonight!!

    • Hey Jeff! haha yeah – my allergies are horrible these past couple days. and haha yes! you can bet that i’ll be vacuuming in pearls 🙂 heheh That’s really great insight – yeah there are things that are good for boys’ groups and girls’ groups when it comes to formation. Yeah, Wild at Heart was definitely an inspiration. i love that book, and Captivating, it’s female counterpart. thanks so much for stopping by! hope you and julie are having a great week! Hugs and love xox

      • Pollen is horrid here in Memphis. My car has gone from silver to yellow! Long week next week; Kansas and Chicago. I hope neither are as bad as here! Prayers & hugs!

  13. Being apart of a college Ethics class and discussing hate speech and if freedom of speech should be protected, Christ has made it *very real* to me that we cannot expect those who are not sons and daughters of the Living God to abide by His Laws and His thoughts on these matters. 🙁 John 1:10-13 speaks of how only those who accept Jesus as Lord and Savior become sons and daughters of God… One can see, hearing unbelievers talk, that it literally comes down to them being blinded to the truth of God. I agree with your view whole-heartedly, though! May those who are distinct creations of God come to know and be saved by the God who made and Loves them!!

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Amen! big hugs to you xox

    • major facial. sadly i think you’re right. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

  14. It’s sad that we can’t celebrate being different, having different roles, and seeing the glory it brings God to use those differences to show the many sides of God’s image. As a young girl years ago, I let society convince me that every one thought boys were better than girls if we were not allowed to do whatever they did… or try. It was a loving pastor who felt the Lord telling him my tears in church were a sign of something that needed his attention. When he asked I told him it made me sad that even God thought less of girls, but that I still love God (though He slay me). He lovingly help me understand the word… different isn’t ugly or belittling. We’ve all been given a role to glorify God in. <3 And He loves us each one equally!

  15. Thank you! I agree with you! My two sons were both Eagle Scouts but now my three grandsons will never experience that because their Dads will not let them join the watered down and degenerate Scouts. And I wouldn’t want them to. It is so sad.

    • Thanks so much Mary! So glad this resonated with you! And congrats to your sons! So awesome! Yeah – very sad. Hugs and love xox

  16. Hey Caralyn, thanks for sharing this. It really gave me a different perspective on this change. When I first heard this, I literally did not know what to make of it. It was something out of left field that really threw me for a loop.

  17. YES! Amen to that! Really, you couldn’t have said it any better! This post took courage to write – not everyone has the guts to stand up for what is good, decent, and just plain RIGHT anymore. There is nothing wrong with a girl being a girl and a boy being a boy. I love the way you put it, “It’s not discriminatory. It’s biology.” Well said! More people need to have the courage and the strength to speak up for what is right. THANK YOU!

    • Thanks so much Joy! What a kind thing to say 🙂 yeah I was suuuuuper nervous to push publish on this one. I really appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

  18. I agree, the boy scouts should be for boys exclusively and girl scouts for girls. I was so disheartened when I read the news, as well.

    • Thanks friend. Yeah disheartening is a great word for it. Hugs and love xox

    • Yes it most certainly does. Thanks John for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

      • Vile? Really? That adjective seems better suited to something like a multinational corporation knowingly polluting the water supply of poor communities. Much the bigger worry over spreading. All this back and forth tweaking between entrenched cultural camps does little to improve our chances for peace and justice. Why do so many self-identifying Christians focus on PC as important, or a bonafide woe? It seems like such a divisive distraction from actual good works. I really am confused by it.

      • Hi Nichole, First of all, I read this as a joke…so that’s where I was coming from. But to answer your question, society is so quick to label Christians as “bigots” or harboring “hateful” thoughts if we share our beliefs found in the Bible. Hence the hyper-caution to be politically correct so as not to offend a culture that seems to be super ready to pounce. But I think you bring up a great point about needing to advocate for poor communities. that is definitely needed. Hugs and love xox

  19. Thank you for writing what I’ve been thinking. The thing is, I’m a single mom with two almost adult daughters and a 10-year-old son.
    I know how to raise daughters, but since I’ll never be a man, I need my son to have men to look up to and teach him how to be a man. Enter Cub Scouts. It’s been great having him in this program thus far (three years in). My father takes him to den meetings and they have a great time doing guy stuff.
    And then I saw the headline this week. Really? Seriously? As if it isn’t hard enough on those of us doing our level best to raise godly men in the absence of a father.
    So – boo BOY Scouts. Once we’re done with Cub Scouting next year, I’ll be finding a different avenue for my son. Or maybe enough of us can stand up and fight this. I’ll be in prayer for guidance.
    In the meantime, I’m so disappointed.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. What a powerful perspective. Yes! What a blessing the Cub Scouts and your father has been. I’ll definitely join you in that prayer. Hugs and love xox

  20. The tragedy is that too many people think we can survive as a God-less, atheistic culture. That to talk about God is “imposing our values and beliefs on others”, which is somehow “mean-spirited and intolerant”. I could say it is the path to cultural suicide, but that would be inaccurate. With abortions performed in the tens of millions since 1973, and euthanasia fast becoming acceptable, what we are witnessing is cultural genocide. Sadly our bishops, rather than being moral bulwarks, are more like accommodating moral marshmallows. Sorry for the rant. I predict a huge pushback on this decision. If the Scouts even exist ten years from now, I will be surprised.

    • That is so true David. When the truth is we’re lost sheep without Him! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox

  21. Our world is turning upside down and inside out. Girls used to like being girls. Now they want to be boys. Boys now want to be girls. Sigh…

  22. Caralyn this is the best Feminist post I’ve read in years!

    Thank you for saying what men and women have needed to be reminded of for years.

    John Eldredge said in one of his books (Wild at Heart, I think) that genuine Godly Masculinity cannot be imparted to a boy by women any more than Godly Femininity can be imparted to a girl by a man.

    For some reason these days when a man says anything about imparting masculinity it is assumed that what is meant is actually misogyny and sexism, which is ironically an incredibly sexist attitude itself.

    It seems being truly masculine these days is somehow believed to be evil, and a “real” man is some “metrosexual” (whatever the heck THAT is) who is bordering on “gender fluid” (???) and basically more effeminate than genuinely male.

    I was a cub scout in England as a boy and loved it. Aged 12, I moved to the boy scouts, and that group was the most misogynistic group of sexist bullies I ever encountered. I quit after a few months because I found their concept of what it was to be a “man” was so far removed from the examples of masculinity I had in my father, a teacher, and my grandfathers – one of whom was a Salvation Army Officer and the other a Major in the British Army under Montgomery in Africa, and both of whom were incredibly strong men – that I was repulsed by it. I’m told the troop has grown more back towards what Baden-Powell envisioned when he founded the international Scouting movement now thankfully.

    I’ve been absent from writing recently, but I hope from now on I can get back into my own work and catch up on the blogs like yours that I have got so much wisdom, wit and humour (in that order) from.

    Thanks for your faithfulness in your writing. I’m looking forward to catching up with your entries!


    • Oh my gosh thank you so much David! I’m so glad you enjoyed the read and that it resonated with you. I LOVE wild at heart. It was definitely an inspiration for this post. That and the female counterpart, Captivating by his wife. Thanks for sharing your story and for your encouraging and supportive words. Can’t wait to read your stuff! Hugs and love xox

      • I bought my wife a copy of Captivating and it resonated so much with her she couldn’t finish it because she was too moved by the Spirit.

        John and Stasi Eldredge have such a powerful way of wording a message that it’s difficult to really read it in depth and not be challenged to the core. I’ve never managed to finish reading Way of the Wild Heart, the original follow up to Wild at Heart (I think it’s been republished as “Fathered by God”) because it choked me up too much, but I’ve found a solution! I have an “Audible” subscription and several of their books are available there, not just read by anyone though – John and Stasi have recorded the books themselves so the inflections and emphasis they intended as they were writing is present in each sentence. Listening to them is great!

        Thanks for your encouragement as well. It really does mean a lot as I’ve been struggling recently.

        Love and hugs back at ya! xox

      • yeah, it is an incredible book! i’ve read it several times and led a book club on it in my sorority in college. the message needs to be sung from the hilltops! i may download the audio for a refresher! Hugs and love xox

      • and ps = what an awesome gift to give your wife 🙂 x

  23. I couldn’t agree more. We have become so concerned with uplifting women, which is not a bad thing but we have done it at the expense of men. I recently said to one of my friends that in no way is it right to uplift yourself or a group at the expense of someone else. Being a strong independent female doesn’t mean I should step on and crush the spirits of men. And if that’s what being a strong female means then call me weak.

    • Thanks so much friend. Amen!! Empowering women does not mean putting down men!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

  24. “Epic Eyeroll”.
    I am so mad and bewildered but not the least bit surprised Caralyn.
    You covered it with your distinctive aplomb. Always a pleasure.
    I was a BOY scout long ago, and it was just great.
    NOW, they’ve stripped it down to nothingness.
    What’s NEXT?
    Mandatory PORN for children? The good news is…this is a HUGE sign things will hum, uh, CHANGE when Christ comes back. And with these types of things happening, it seems it won’t be long.
    Thanks again. You are an awesome writer.

    Roland Henderson

    • Thanks so much Roland for your support. Yeah sadly I’m not surprised either. Such is the times we’re living in. Appreciate you stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  25. The Boy Scouts was a great organization that fought against those who tried to change it, but they gave in to the peer pressure. It is sad that they, like many organizations, are letting a small minority decide who they should be. Then you have the parents who are cowards to correct their children and teach them right and wrong worrying that they will hurt their feelings. Those same parents then wonder why their children turn against them later in life. By the way, thank you for being a real woman. We need more women like you.

  26. You’re black and white version of male and female traits is a regression in acceptance. Where does the LGBT community fall in your reasoning? You fail to accept that God has created all of human traits, and the combination and strength of those traits in EACH individual. And not accepting all gradations in those traits in all individuals admits God made mistakes, which it sounds you’re not willing to admit.

    Your post concerning the Scouts BSA represents a hidden bigotry which I cannot not accept in my email. I will be cancelling my subscription.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m afraid my position was misunderstood. When I mentioned that God has masculine and feminine traits, what i meant by a “complicated and unique individual expression” of these traits was exactly that. We all are a mix of both – we are in His image and reflect different attributes of each. The fact is, members of the LGBT community are children of God. And same sex attraction is a real thing. And God loves all of HIs children no matter what. I’m sorry that you took that away from my post. That was not my position at all. And I’ll be sad to see you go, but I respect your decision. Thank you for your readership. Big hugs xox

    • Dear BinBin,
      Oh, contrare’ .
      Please allow me to Express an opinion.




      Your thoughts left unchecked and allowed to run free is a sign you are perishing. Do not mean to sound hateful, just stating what I believe to be a fact.

      Please reconsider and dont but into the pablum of today’s political correct thought.

  27. Standing and applauding your voice. Thank you! Will be sharing this post on FB. Bracing myself for the backlash.

    • Oh gosh thank you so much Laurie. I really appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

    • And ps that’s what my dad said when I sent him my final draft…brave for the backlash hahahha

    • Thanks so much Mia. You’re right about that. *sigh* Hugs and love xox

  28. “beautybeyondbones
    Blended Hope
    28m ago
    So true!!!! Yeah growing up and going to Christian summer camp was the same thing. We had the girls and boys separate bunks and groups but we did the same exact activities! We went camping and rock climbing. We would have to capsize a sail boat and then flip it back up, do “Eskimo rescues” on capsized canoes, learn how to tie knots and identify plants in the forest. Just because were girls doesn’t mean we can’t do those traditionally masculine things!”

    I am using your quote because this is how the elementary level (cub scouts) is being set up and it is the decision of the chartering organization to adopt the BSA Policy or not. If the chartering organization adopts BSA policy they have a couple of options. Coed pack or Gender specific packs. I.e. all girl or all boy. If they decide on a Coed pack, dens are to remain single gender. All boys or all girls. Example a boy wolf den and a girl wolf den; not a single boy and girl wolf den. The curriculum is the same regardless.

    Here is a link to how the program is being set up.

    I am am just sharing facts that is all. Not sharing an opinion.

    • Thanks so much for sharing this insight. Very interesting! Hugs and love xox

  29. While I don’t completely agree with your viewpoint on the BSA’s decision, I still enjoyed reading this post nonetheless. Growing up, I was more of a tomboy and know I probably would’ve loved doing the activities Boy Scouts did. However, I also think that if the Boy Scouts are going to allow girls to join, then Girl Scouts should allow boys to do the same. Or maybe, just have one scouting organization that allows both boys and girls decide what they want to do while still teaching the core values of Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts. But have it where girls are with other girls who want to do the same thing and boys are with boys who want to do the same thing.

    • Thanks Raney, for sharing your thoughts on this. That seems like a great compromise! Hugs and love xox

  30. As you found out from the git-go on this, your dissenters are definitely not about freedom of thought, expression, or any other type of liberty not on board with them. There is much of tyranny behind these “modern” agendas. Anyway, thanks for standing strong in a loving stance.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Jon. It definitely is an issue that people feel passionately about. Hugs and love xox

  31. As a proud former Boy Scout, I was saddened to learn the news yesterday.
    Many of my former scouts in my troop, have become Doctors, world record climbers, and other high achievers.
    All the nights we spent in pure survival mode, without tents and making survival shelters, learning to rappel, climbing mountains, canoeing the boundary waters, hiking the green river mountain range, and countless other adventures.
    I learned to shoot bows, guns, survival skills, and civic service, all the while remembering God.
    I hope the Scouts can keep to the high standards of those who went before.
    God Bless , keep up your good work.

    • Thanks for sharing your insight on this, John. Yeah the Scouts turned out really incredible men. So amazing. Hugs and love xox

    • Why are you saddened though? I am not being sarcastic, I just genuinely don’t get it. As a girl who loves being outdoors and going on back country camping trips I would have loved all of this stuff as a kid. But instead I am only having the opportunity to discover it now as an adult. Why would letting girls in the scouts lower the standards? I know that sounds harsh and isn’t what you meant but I can’t help but see it that way. Why can’t the girls go on to accomplish great things like becoming an engineer like I have and start in scouts. Who is it hurting?

  32. I love your perspective on this! Thank you so much for sharing your voice. It’s sad that America seems to be forgetting the morals and values that it was founded on and so easily submits to cultural norms. And honestly, it makes me upset when people can’t just be who they were created to be (male or female). A dove can’t change into a cat, ya know? God bless you for staying you 💛 forever a fan. XOXO

    • Thanks friend for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, I feel the same. Hugs and love xox

  33. Well said! Your words are like a breath of fresh air in this polluted and political environment we have surrounding us today. Thanks for your courage, boldness, and authenticity in stepping up and speaking out.

    • Thank you so much Sherrey. Gosh what a kind thing to say. I appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

  34. God Bless the light you shine everyday to every person you meet, know, and pass by! You are a beacon of light and right that I can’t name many others, if at all, can match. Everything you wrote here is totally right! Neither the Boy Scouts nor the Girl Scouts were invented to be an oust to the other gender. They were invented to help spring brotherhood, and sisterhood among members. I look back a few months to the reasons given by those girls who made the news about wanting to join The Boy Scouts, because they wanted to do some of the skill activities the Boy Scouts do. I look at it this way; why can’t The Girl Scouts step up their handbooks a bit and get some more skill oriented things into them (that these girls were claiming The Girl Scouts weren’t doing)?? Theres no mistake that girls in the last decades have been more into hiking, canoeing, all the things that boys have been, than it “used to be” in the 1940s, 50s etc… SO ADD THEM AND GET OUT THERE AND DO!!! They can tweak their handbooks. People do forget that both organizations were developed as a way to contribute to the Nationalism of our country because it was the time of the World Wars. I bet you the Girl Scouts won’t start letting in boys now will they?
    Hugs and Love Beautiful Gal! xoxoxoxo

  35. I agree. The Bible states what an abomination it is for men to dress as woman. Now a days gender is seen as an emotion and not as truth. If you are born male but identify as female then you are female. If you are born female but identify as male then you are male. If you are born human and identify as a cow or a horse or a dog then you are that…. I mean come on! That is the spirit of confusion. That spirit does not come from God. I just pray for those souls to find solace and security in the Lord. I for one am also tired of feeling like acting or dressing feminine is a weak attribute when I in fact am a female. It’s so alerting how preverse this world continues to become.

    • Am by no means trying to offend or disrespect anyone who feels conflicted nor am I judging them. I do believe that God loves us all. Flaws and all. I do however believe that feeling those who do identify with their given gender and those attributes are now looked upon as being against human progression and being a sexist etc. The fact that I don’t agree that boys or men should wear dresses does not mean I devalue the man that does. I acknowledge that person also is loved. Just wanted to clear that up so I don’t come off judgmental. It’s just the signs of our time.

      • I hear ya girl!! That came through loud and clear 🙂 thanks again for joining the dialogue.

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah such a broken world in which we live. We’ve got to be the light in the dark! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  36. Feminist bully? Huh? Maybe the name/policy change endeavors to include girls who are interested in the clearly different curriculum of activities. Isn’t it possible that it’s a matter of “oh, girls want to learn more about camping, too,” rather than a deep, dark agenda to undermine God’s law? I fear your writing tends to further segregate people into categories like “hater” or “conservative” and whatever else of the like. The most commendable roots of this country are firmly entrenched in the concept of unity/Union – thanks in large part to the influence the Iroquois Confederacy had upon the Founders. To my thinking, that means the more inclusion and openness, the better. Why dismiss the possibility of positive intentions and outcomes?

    • Hi Nichole, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’ve brought up some really powerful points. I’m all for inclusion and unity. But I also respect the tradition that the Boy Scouts have held for 108 years. That’s all 🙂 you’ve offered a lot of great food for thought. Thanks for joining the conversation. Hugs and love xox

      • The traditional values ought be what matters more than “boys only,” though, right? Good citizenship, character, etc. in the pledge – doesn’t it seem positive to encourage such traits in anybody who is interested?

  37. Am by no means trying to offend or disrespect anyone who feels conflicted nor am I judging them. I do believe that God loves us all. Flaws and all. I do however believe that feeling those who do identify with their given gender and those attributes are now looked upon as being against human progression and being a sexist etc. The fact that I don’t agree that boys or men should wear dresses does not mean I devalue the man that does. I acknowledge that person also is loved. Just wanted to clear that up so I don’t come off judgmental. It’s just the signs of our time.

  38. I’m amazed every time I visit your page. You’re an actor, model, business woman and writer and in spite of that you are natural, unselfish and believe there is a God who we have an exciting opportunity to befriend and love as He loves us. I don’t find those values in the arts, the business world media and politics any more. We have been on a downward spiral as far as values goes for a long time and obviously haven’t read Gibbins “Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” because we are hell bent on entering an age of anarchy once again. So what does that have to do with your blog? Well all this nonsense about level playing field, equality, and all that stuff is related to our decline. Because kids these days are “latch key” kids whose parents both work or are involved in their clubs and pleasure they are left to their own devices and don’t learn values from their parents who are too busy for them. Ask the Chaplains in our schools (if they are allowed in now) and they will tell you kids are desperate. They seek love through sex at an early age, they follow trends slavishly in the hopes of being with the cool kids, they bully and are bullied. The reaction of the “progressives” is that a conditioning has to take place in our schools to deal with the problem. We need to avoid anything to do with diversity as it divides so we go for the lowest common denominator and you’ve hit on one aspect of the problem. What’s it all about? Go back to Genesis for the answer. God created man and woman, the significance of the woman coming from man’s side is she wasn’t to be above or below but was to be his mate. Different but equal. It was only after the fall that she became second in command but never intended to be inferior even then. But God created the difference for them to complement each other and their gender was distinct for a reason. Between them they produced children each contributing to the miracle. And between them they were to model the aspects of God’s love. Only a man and a woman in a relationship together can model that in its completeness, though we can reflect love individually. Who wants to mess God’s plan up? Satan! He was not happy about being left out of the plan to create this world and he wants to mess it up and cause our ruin to hurt God. He’s being quite successful isn’t he? But only for a little while longer. He works through his henchmen on earth to destroy diversity as God planned it and substitute his own destructive counter plan.

    • Oh my gosh what a kind thing to say. Thank you Ian. I am humbled by your generous words. Amen – we’ve got to get back to the basics in genesis. He created a perfect world and we fell from it. Now we are dealing with the repercussions. THat just means that we need to be the light! Hugs and love xox

    • Thanks MA!! I appreciate the support and encouragement. You’re a great friend! Hugs and love xox

  39. I am conflicted as I write this, because my initial reaction to your post was that I wanted to read it through my own filters and reject it out of hand. I think that is part of what is wrong with our country, right now, though – so I really, truly wanted to understand where you were coming from. I am glad I read on, because I do understand better. I don’t agree, but I understand. You are viewing the decision through the filters of your religion – your belief system – and of course you are. That is what religions and belief systems are for.

    I have a different belief system, so I view this decision differently. The thing is, you seem to be judging a non-Christian organization through the filter of your Christian beliefs. The Boy Scouts of America is not a Christian organization – at least, not that I could find on the internet.

    From Wikipedia: “Buddhists, followers of Native American religions, Muslims, Jews, Christians of all denominations, and many others, including those who define their own spirituality, can be and are members of the BSA. The BSA recognizes religious awards for over 38 faith groups including Islam, Judaism, Baha’i, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Sikhism and 28 varieties of Christianity”.

    Not all religious or spiritual people believe that man was made in God’s image, or that masculine and feminine are the only aspects of God. Many, many people believe that God is in ALL things, all humans, animals, plants, dirt…you name it, if it exists, it is an aspect of God.

    The Boy Scouts of AMERICA, as far as I could find online, is not a Christian organization, but rather one that values spirituality and a belief in God, in whatever form that takes for the individual. I kept reading your post and the comments, because I really want to understand your point of view. I don’t disagree with all of what you say here, I simply think that it presents a fairly narrow viewpoint, one laying Christian values over a non-Christian organization.

    Thank you for allowing me to understand you better, and letting me be part of the conversation.

    • Hi friend! Thank you so much for taking the time to read through it with an open mind and for joining the conversation. You’ve really given me a lot to think about and mull over. That’s the awesome thing about open and respectful dialogue – we can all bring our own beliefs and perspectives and experiences to the table and foster understanding. Thank you for doing that. Big hugs to you xox

  40. Phew! Well, well said! America is losing it…we think we don’t have to act because our door isnt being broken down…but if we keep letting it go eventually it will be our doors and our families. Thank you for so boldly saying what needs to be said!

    • Thank you so much. Yeah, it was scary to push publish on this one, so I really appreciate the support. Hugs and love xox

  41. I was involved with a Girl Scout Organization investigation a while ago. Integration, has its drawbacks. But, Boy Scouts losing almost 16% enrollment since 2007 makes this move less risky. That’s a $20-30 million dollar loss yearly. It’s not sustainable. A glaring oversight here is that in 108 years of scouting there are only 12 Black Eagle Scouts.

    Boy Scouts of America was officially integrated in 1974 a decade after the Civil Rights Movement started. So. I get it why girls? Why now? Why change? Why not go back to its roots of segregation?

      • Perspective? That would imply an attitude or opinion. I merely included facts that don’t quite match your rhetoric. Or those that agree. Doesn’t matter. There’s way more in agreement. Aggressively shaking their heads even.

        Now. Why is that? Is it easier to swallow than to think critically for a second? We don’t really need more boundaries do we? Well. God chose you to write this so, we must.

      • Sorry if that word was offensive to you, Kenzie. That was not my intention! Just appreciated hearing your thoughts! 🙂 sorry, I clearly said something wrong. Hugs and love xox

      • Full of beans? Thank you for your insult Roland. You know, I’m a minority and with that we are conscious of our actions since, birth. I’ve argued in court rooms for deaf people to have equal opportunities. I’ve contributed my research to lawsuits of unfair work practices for companies that have billionaire CEOs. I’ve sat with children while they recount unspeakable horrors. I’ve pulled my friends from wreckage during the military. But, like you said Roland I’m blind and full of beans. I’m blind for encouraging my children to become what they choose while teaching them that they should not be held back by their gender or race. Should they choose your “moral superiority,” they lose. Roland.

  42. Realizing, I fall outside the norm of many of your followers as someone that is a member of the LGBT community, I agree with you on maintaining boys only in Boy Scouts and girls only in Girl Scouts. I have a basic belief in scientific principles – i.e. nature dictates there are definitive separation of biological genders. Granted, anomalies do exist, but they are not the norm, with that being said, the very natures of biological development in boys and girls are inherently different. They are different but they are still similar in their human natures.
    I think this is a bad move on the part of the BSA.

    • Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Lots of powerful points to mull over. Hugs and love xox

  43. I loved this post and the truth of it. I don’t know if you’ve ever read The Family A Proclamation To The World but I think you’d like it. You can find it on (just search for it). Thank you for being a light to the world. 💖

    • Thank you so much Camie! So glad it resonated with you! I haven’t but I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks for the recco. Hugs and love xox

  44. I haven’t been here in a mighty long time…I came back to this blog staring me in the face.

    I have to say I’m in full agreement with this post (also cue the first two lines of “Basics of Life” by “4HIM that resonates with all this as well as lil’ Raven’s epic facepalm).
    Boys and girls, men and women can coexist together without it being deemed a threat to ‘identity and progression’ …aye.

    Keep on writing!

    • Thanks so much Chris for sharing your thoughts on this! Amen to that! Hugs and love xox

  45. First of all, I agree with most of what you said. Second, I’ve been with the Boy Scouts since 2003, when my son decided to be in the cub scouts. I have served many positions including Scout Master of our troop. Currently, I’m serving as Eagle Board Chairman. I have the distinct opportunity to approve eagle projects and serve on the young men’s eagle board of review. I’m the first one to shake their hands after receiving their Eagle rank. I’ve said all that to say this; no matter what happens, no matter who joins, the BSA has a wonderful program. The Boy Scouts of America didn’t really change their name, they’ve changed the wording for the programs they offer to be able to fit the new coed arrangement. Yes, they are going to allow girls in the program and in some areas in my state, the girls have already joined cub scouts. In 2019, they will start allowing girls into the older program. Do I agree with it? No, not necessarily.
    First of all, there’s a lot that’s got to happen in order for the girls to join. There’s got to be separate leaders for the girls. Within most troops in my area, it’s hard enough just to get leaders just for the boy scouts. In a nutshell, in order for the girls to join, we’re having to create whole new troops and packs. A lot more work for the already stretched leaders.
    To be honest, I really think it’s a numbers game. Back a few years ago they, the BSA, made the decision to allow gays into the program. A lot of scouts/leaders didn’t like it and the parents took their kids out of the program. I know it hurt the program because I saw the numbers. They lost millions in revenue and in sponsorship. I really don’t think they thought that decision through. Now they’re trying to make up the difference by allowing girls into the program. I may be wrong but that is a thought.
    Thank you for bringing this up. I really like reading other peoples views on this subject.

    • Gpor insight for sure. But, I part company with you as I believe your “equivication ” mindset has precipitated this devastating irreversible change. I salute you for your service, but strongly condemn you for NOT taking a stand. You sir, are blind.
      Darn your hide.

    • Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. This is really powerful insight. Yeah at the end of the day, we have to remember that this by and large was a business decision. Hugs and love xox

  46. My goodness, amen sister! If it’s alright, I’m reblogging this. I never do that, but I will this time because I really couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you for sharing the truth!

  47. Hi!

    I am glad the Boy Scouts are becoming more inclusive. I remember a time in the 1980’s when I was being groomed to be an Assistant Scout Master (ASM), there were two important issues that came up. And I felt I could not honestly promote the BSA. I gave up my desire to become either an ASM or SM.

    The issues were connected. Basically BSA HQ issued the decree that (1) Atheists could not become SM or Eagle Scouts, and (2) Homosexuals could not become SM or Eagle Scouts.

    The first one troubled me the most. Even without the anti-homosexual agenda, I felt I had to leave. And I did. And became a better man by sticking to my ideals and looking for better ways of living.

    The BSA lost the financial support of the Bank Of America (BOA) and other institutions.

    I would be interested in what others might say on this issue.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. yeah, i do think that much of this decision was a financial one. Hugs and love xox

  48. I’m not from America and in my country we don’t have Boy or Girl Scouts, which personally I think is sad, as it may teach some of these kids around here some manners. But I want to shout Hallelujah and Amen. Brilliantly put and 100% agree with you – gender roles are being messed up and attacked and switched around and I honestly don’t understand it. It’s really not that difficult to be male of female. Thank you for this post.

    • Hi Em, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. So glad it resonated with you! Oh the confusing times we’re living in! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Mel. I appreciate you stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  49. Well said.
    Few things make me angry but the present gender idiologies do.
    Not only do they have zero credibility as far as true science is concerned, but they make they transition from child to adult even more of a mine field for this generation. Adolesents already struggling with new feelings and hormones, to come to terms with their changing identitity, now have the additional burden of deceding their sexual identity.
    I have no problem accepting someone who has a genuine medical condition, but these are few and far between. Now children as young as sixteen are irriversably multilating their own bodies, minus even parental consent, based purely on the transitory emotions engendered by adolesence.
    It’s very common for girls to experiment with their friends, kissing etc. Boys also can feel a strong masculine bond similar to a sexual attraction. It doesn’t mean they are gay, or trans or whatever, it’s just part of growing up and adjustment. Usually these things pass when they become confident enough to find a partner of the opposite sex, but now these things can so easily be misinterpreted.

    • Hi Claire, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts this. A mine field – that is such a great description of it. As though navigating puberty and adolescence wasn’t challenging enough!! big hugs xo

  50. I’ve been accused many time of Anti-feminist views, more times than I can count (even with slightly relaxed pro-life views) when I’m all for women’s rights in many areas. in my town we have an all male and an all female High School (ages 12-18) never really been any complaints

    • Hi Benny, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah there’s something to be said for not having the distraction of the opposite sex when hormones are raging. haha It actually allows for an environment where learning is the focus *gasp!* haha I went to a coed high school and loved it, but I can definitely see the advantages of the all boy/girl schools. Hugs and love xox

  51. I think it’s great girls and boys are given the same opportunities. I went to Brownies and it was so boring compared to what the Cub scouts got to do.
    We don’t gender stereotype in our family, we don’t do gender specific toys or colours. Everyone gets to choose who they are. I think putting people into boxes is why we have such a high rate of mental health issues now, expectations people can’t fulfil. Let people be who they are. Raise them knowing the difference from right and wrong for sure, and with compassion and empathy. But let people find their own niche.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. Compassion and empathy are so so important in today’s world! Hugs and love xox

  52. The sad fact is that BSA has been the victim of declining numbers for several years. I am afraid this change is going to kill the Girl Scouts first and will not ultimately save Boy Scouts as an organization either.

    I think this misses that both boys and girls have an elemental need to have at least a few places where they can benefit from a single-sex environment. We have lost another one.

    • Hey JP, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. so true. there are sisterhood and brotherhood bonds that tap into a specific part of one’s development. I was part of a singing group of 8 of my best girlfriends from grade 2 until grade 12. Those girls and the friendships we fostered through our weekly meetings (with our “director” who was 13 years older and like our big sister/mentor) were and are the most meaningful relationships in my entire life. And if boys were in the mix, it would have completely taken away from the personal development and bonds, because then there would be pressures of impressing the boys, or thinking about what they’re thinking – teen girl stuff. etc. It really is such a shame. It saddens me Hugs and love xox

  53. Firstly, I am not here to bash your opinions – your opinions are yours, and you have the right to speak out on them; I hope others with differing views will afford you that same respect (or, if they can’t, I hope they just don’t bother commenting). My views may well be coloured by my very Englishness, plus personal experiences of being a Girl Guide way back when (and I hated it; I mean I really hated it).

    Here in the UK “God” has been removed from the pledge because nobody thinks it’s fair that only white, Christian children should be allowed into these groups. There are so many different religions on this one small island, and most of us are fairly sure that Lord Baden Powell would have wanted complete inclusivity. Muslim, Sikh, Hindu and Jewish children are a strong part of the movement now, reflecting this country’s multi-culturalism and our embracement of it – as they should.

    Looking back, my troupe did a lot of things that some other troupes might consider boy-related (knot tying, sailing, orienteering, etc) but it was still very much stuck on churning out perfect little Stepford Wives who would always do their husband’s bidding and forget about their own needs and desires. I’m a tomboy who respects those who deserve respect, and will bow down to no man, so this continued practice still doesn’t sit right with me. Men need feminine skills too, as much as women need masculine skills – especially in this day and age where the number of single people has never been higher due to overpopulation, hectic work schedules, no time for a social life and isolation as a result.

    So, my general feeling is that all genders should have the right to decide which group best fits their wishes for their future. I always wished I could go to Boy Scouts instead of Girl Guides, because they got to have the most fun. I missed so many opportunities that I would like for my great-niece to have in this more enlightened day and age – including not being allowed on the school basketball in spite of being a far better player than any of the boys (and it was my favourite sport, so even now this rankles with me). Girl Guides failed me; it was always going to fail me because I never wanted to be their production-line version of the perfect woman.

    This is a wonderfully written piece, by the way. I don’t have to agree with you in order to recognise and respect a well thought out viewpoint committed to the internet ether for all time. I think it does everybody good to ;isten to all sides, else we’d be living in an echo chamber – which is healthy for exactly nobody 🙂

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue. You’re so right – we all have our own perspectives and opinions and that is an awesome thing. And the great thing about an open and respectful dialogue is that we all bring with us our own experiences and beliefs, and when we come to the table with an open heart and mind, and a willingness to listen, we can foster understand and mutual respect for everyone. so thank you for doing just that! you rock my friend. and you offered some really powerful food for thought that I will be mulling over all day today 🙂 big hugs xo

  54. I agree with the author, there are just some things that as both males and females, that we need to do separate from one another. Yes there numbers are in decline, just like other conservative organizations and churches. This is the result of changes in social values brought on by changes in fundamental beliefs. Use to children had no choice but to go to church, go to school, and obey the laws of society. They were taught the “golden rule”. Now if you were to ask about the “golden rule”, no one would know what you are speaking of. When you take God out of society you get rebellion of youth, moral decline, murder of unborn babies, and euthanasia of the old and feeble. To see the affect of kicking God out of the schools you can easily see the decline in America. Since 1960, violent crime has risen 560 percent, illegitimate births have increased 400 percent, teen suicides have risen 200 percent, divorce rates have quadrupled, average SAT scores have dropped 80 points, and the proportion of children living in fatherless families has increased three-fold.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Oh the Golden Rule! How important and desperately needed that is. Hugs and love xox

  55. Absolutely correct. My first encounter with Spirit was distinctly female and it wasn’t Mary the blessed Mother of Jesus. She came to me much later. Keep writing.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Hugs and love xox

  56. Well said, Caralyn! Might I add my two cents?

    I’ve been having a Facebook discussion with a complete stranger about this, and I’d like to share what I told her. I hope you don’t mind me hogging the space. I will leave out the other person’s comments out of respect for her privacy:
    “Because there is already an organization for girls, and study after study shows that girls do better in all-girl environments as far as achieving, feeling confident, and becoming leaders. It isn’t always the girls who have problems with those issues–it’s the leadership. Girl Scouts allows girls to rise to their full potential in ways they won’t as members of Boy Scouts. I’ve known many girls who had been Venture Scouts (the Boy Scouts coed high unit) and girls who been in both BS and GS, and I can tell you that they do not have the opportunities and achievement capabilities as in GS. Maybe for some girls, it’s just what they are looking for as far as outdoors, camping, etc., but in the right troop, they can have all of that with GS, too. And without the sexual tension that can and will arise with coed groups. The bottom line is that it truly is better for girls to be a part of Girl Scouts. By the way, did you know that every single woman astronaut and every single woman who has ever been elected to Congress (both houses) was a Girl Scout?”
    “I personally don’t feel it’s (allowing girls into BSA) necessary. There are many groups, from high school organizations to religious groups to sporting teams and more, that cater to boys and girls. Making Boy Scouts a coed organization devalues the inherent qualities that make the groups special. In a day and age where there is so little offered for only boys or only girls, it’s important to have these groups that have traditionally been places where boys can boys and girls can be girls. I’m sorry if anyone takes offense to my passion. As a Girl Scout leader for 15 years, and a Girl Scout camp director for 12, I see on a very personal level, how important it is to maintain these distinctions.”
    “Boys and girls behave differently when they are together and when they are apart. I can’t speak for boys at camp, but I’ve heard so many girls say that their refuge is our annual camp because they can just be themselves without feeling any pressure.They’re more confident, more self-assured, and more likely to step up as leaders. My oldest daughter is a natural leader. At school, she found herself always being shut down (especially by boys) because she was too assertive. In Scouts, she found that she could rise to the top, be a real leader, and be looked up to by girls and adults. She always says it was a completely different attitude. Many girls really do feel like they have put on airs and act a certain “acceptable” way around boys. It’s important for them to have their own place, their own group, where they can relax and have fun without feeling any judgement. And here’s something I’ve observed many times: when boys are not in the picture, girls are not catty or judgmental. It’s a completely different atmosphere.”

    Anyway, she finally told me that she is against all gender labels and feels that we should never refer to anyone as a boy or girl and agrees with the societal push toward eliminating gender altogether. I respectfully told her that we would have to agree to disagree. That’s a topic for a whole other day!

    • I most definitely agree with you. I went to an all girl HIgh School. We had a couple of male teachers, but the principal and vice principal were women. I think it was a very positive experience (way back long ago lol) for girls to see women in positions of leadership. Another thing, if we were having a dance we had to call up the boy and ask him if he wanted to go. It was a powerful lesson on the shoe being on the other foot and I always had sympathy for the guys who usually had to do the asking. Cheers Pat

    • This is such a powerful response, Amy. Thank you so much for sharing it! Amen amen amen! Growing up, I was in a singing group with 8 of my best girlfriends. We would meet every Monday at one of our houses from 2nd grade until we were seniors in high school. Our “director” was a big sister/mentor figure who was 13 years older than we were. We’d start out each rehearsal with a “candle time” that was a prayer circle, and then we’d sing. We’d sing at weddings, coffee shops, we even put out a CD. But the main focus of that group was sisterhood. and those friendships in that all-girl group were and are some of the most meaningful relationships in my life. But had there been boys there, we would have been worried about what they were thinking, or trying to impress them. By being all girls, we were able to share our hearts without fear or self-consciousness. I was a Girl Scout too. And echo all the things you touched on in your response. thank you again for sharing this powerful reflection. big hugs xo

  57. Awesome post!

    I was saddened to hear about this as well. Traditional gender roles are being attacked from every direction. I recently saw an article where Harvard (I believe) has classified masculinity as a mental illness.

    Our current world does not want men to be men and women to be women; they simply want everyone to be the same gender across the board. At least, that’s what I think.

    Where does it end? Our Christian values are attacked every day in all forms of media. I think it’s time we take a stand and take back the things that the bullies are taking away from us.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Joe. Yeah, isn’t it so sad to see what the world and our colleges — that are shaping the future of our country — are coming to?! Where does it end indeed. Hugs and love xox

  58. Thank you so.much for this post. It was well thought out and written. I would also add that as individuals there is nothing wrong with a boys club or girl club or transgender club for that matter if one so chooses to create one (oh wait they have)! Associating with people with like interests and characterists isn’t a bad thing occasionally. My husband recently had the opportunity to get together for a weekend with his guy friends from high school- it was great for him! It’s the same for teammates or co-workers or mom’s groups, it’s good for us as humans!

    I could go on and on…but I loved this! And what a beautiful conversation you have started! Wow!

    • Hi Jessica, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – it is so good for us as humans! thanks for joining the dialogue! Hugs and love xox

    • thank you so much 🙂 You’re so kind to say that. Glad it hit home with you! hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  59. I agree with you wholeheartedly! First the whole bathroom thing and now this?!? I being women should relish the sisterhood of being a woman. Likewise for the men. There is a uniqueness there that God did create. Now I’m not saying that someone cannot be gay (brother is) but tolerance can only go so far. What about sororities and fraternities? Is exclusivity gone?

    • There really is something so beautiful about sisterhood. And yes – brotherhood too. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Hugs and love xox

  60. Seems to me if there was an adequate answer to your very first rhetorical question, “What are we doing America?”, then there might be a starting point. However, succumbing to the pressures of the many bullies that abound in our country is what I believe fuels issues like you are writing about. Your words are music to my ears as a pastor in a local Presbyterian church, in fact, your grounding in God is something that is tough to find today. You see, I think the bullies in our country include all those who allow money to cloud their perspective – the Boy Scouts included and….government, politicians, teachers, parents, and yes, maybe most importantly in the context of this particular discussion…the Church!

    You see, maybe this doesn’t happen in your church, but I have heard the phrase, “being a good Presbyterian” as if the Jesus who died on the cross for me is any different than the Jesus worshipped in other Christian churches. But, we all know that what defines most churches today is not what we are for, but what we are against. How we are “defined” often is dependent on how much money is flowing and from whom. Now I know it is not as simple as this but I do believe that what we worship today in this country…on a large scale, is the almighty dollar and the continuing attempt to eliminate from it, “In God We Trust”…whether literally or figuratively.

    Keep doing what your are doing! Our voices are the one thing we are gifted with from our Creator. I am afraid that “things” are going to get worse before they get better but we cannot give up or give in. I pray God’s blessings on you that you will continue what you do…in Jesus’ name!

    • Hi Dale, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I am truly touched by your kind words. Amen – Jesus died for all people. And sadly, there is so much truth in that: we have made money, fame and power idols in our culture, literally worshiping them. We need to get back to our roots. Hugs and love xox

  61. Can someone stop the world, I need to get off. In the midst of children dying all over the world, we add more problems by confusing them about who they were created to be. It’s tiring, but we will keep speaking about this till maybe someone hears and listens. Thanks Caralyn. Permit me to reblog this.

    • Thank you so much for sharing this powerful reflection. so so true!!!! And absolutely, i would be honored if you passed it along! have a beautiful weekend. Hugs and love xox

  62. I listened to a NPR show on this a few months ago and had the same reaction. They even had a rep from the Girl Scouts on the air who said there was no way Girl Scouts would allow boys because girls need a space to be girls and feel safe and able to express themselves without being intimidated or overshadowed. I don’t understand why boys can’t have the same privileges. Thanks for bringing this subject to people’s attention.

    • Thank you so much Kelli, for sharing your thoughts on this. So true! There’s something so beautiful about sisterhood and brotherhood. it brings out formation that just can’t be tapped into in a coed setting. Hugs and love xox

  63. Good afternoon dear, How have you been? Wow, from where do I start. I totally agree with your view. The way you shared this post came across as a public speech to me and for me that’s unique. Thank you for sharing the Boys Scout oath, the Girl Scout oath and The Law, for sure I learned something new!!
    Have a lovely Friday ☺🌺

  64. I totally agree. I was in the boy scouts as a young teenager; it was an all boy troop with all male leaders. Boys (and men) really need that kind of bonding time, where they can feel a bit more free to be who they are and express themselves in ways that they can’t when women and girls are present. Back then, we could walk around camp in our undies if we needed to, and use the bathroom in the woods. We played tackle football, and wrestled, and did all kinds of “boy” things. I wouldn’t let my son join now; instead, he and I just take boy’s weekends and camp by ourselves.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, John. Yeah, there is something so powerful about the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. Hugs and love xox

  65. I think you nailed it. You mentioned putting baby girls in pink onesies. As I’ve said before, there is nothing feminine about pink, nor masculine of blue. That’s 100% a social-construct. I mean, they used to put baby boys in dresses. (It’s a real thing. Look it up on the google machine) BUT, like you said, God did make male and female differently. Why is it so terrible for there to be spaces for boys/girls/men/women? I think of the church; we all come together as one body. However, it’s not a bad thing for churches to have women’s groups, singles groups, youth groups, etc. As someone who has recovered from ED, I believe you can appreciate having a space to be with people who are like you. I will never understand what it’s like to live with disordered eating. Which is why I would send someone who is struggling to a gal like you who understands. But yes, God did make male and female in His likeness yet we are beautifully, distinctly, and purposefully different.

    • Hi Kristin, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. That is so true – the bonds and relationships you form in sisterhood/brotherhood groups are so formative and powerful. so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

  66. Well said. We are trying to raise our son to understand what it means to be a man and that includes how to treat women. I want him to be proud to be a male. I want him to respect and appreciate himself and what makes girls special too. I understand there are people in situations where they are unsure where they are between male and female. It is impossible for me to understand what that must be like. HOWEVER, that doesn’t take away from those that do recognize which they are and they should not feel ashamed of it no more than someone who doesn’t. I also agree we need boys only, girls only activities as well as mixed activities. There is a place for both so our children can develop into incredible humans.

    • thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Amen! Sounds like you are raising your son to be a very upstanding young man! we need more of them! haha amen. Hugs and love xox

  67. Right on, GIRL! And thank you for giving it a ‘faith twist’ which rings truer for me than the mere gender argument or physiological argument most people are using. Boys definitely need their own environment with responsible male role models to help them develop into manhood. Very few boys and young men will be unaffected by the presence of girls in the group; feeling the need to impress the opposite gender. Further, many Boy Scout troops are connected to a local church program and ministry – this development will impact that! Thanks for your insight!

    • Thank you so much Steven! So glad it resonated with you! yeah, that’s so true – having the opposite sex adds a layer of unnecessary complexity. brotherhood and sisterhood is important! Hugs and love xox

  68. Wow. Another thought-provoking post. Here’s my take.

    I’m a Christian, first and foremost. My wonderful United Methodist Church has hosted Boy and Girl Scout group, Venturing Crews, etc. for YEARS. Our Boy Scout troop in particular is well-known and highly respected. Lots of community involvement, etc. Two of the guys I dated in high school were actively involved with the Boy Scouts – One achieved the Eagle Scout rank, which I have always admired and respected.

    I was a Brownie and Junior Scout through one of the church troops, but didn’t go farther than that. I had some issues with the troop leader and her daughter, and I didn’t feel like I could continue in the organization confidently. I’m sure it made my mom sad, but I didn’t feel like it was worth the time and effort then. Looking back, part of me wishes that I had stuck with it, and gone all the way through. But, I was involved in other activities, too – Orchestra, sports (soccer, later softball), and so many church things.

    Okay, here’s where my path diverts a bit. I’m very much for inclusion and making things less gendered. I consider myself an ally for LGBTQIA, having several friends who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender. I respect everyone’s opinion. I know that Jesus said for us to love each other, John 13:34. I’m very happy as a straight white female, but people should have the right to be able to fully express themselves and not have to hide in shame.

    HOWEVER – I don’t think the BSA made the right decision here. I fully believe that the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts were perfectly fine the way they have been. The Boy Scouts were established in 1908, and the Girl Scouts started in 1912. Sure, organizations and their missions grow, change, and diversify – I’m all for that. I think the drop in enrollment and membership is a very telling piece of information. What is causing those numbers to decline? I’m with you – I think the leadership of the troops, etc., is a huge factor. It was with me.

    I’m all for changing/updating the programming aspect of the Boy Scouts and the Girl Scouts. You brought up an excellent point with the Girl Scouts involving more STEM over the last several years. That’s awesome, in my opinion. Girls should feel more confident and empowered with those subjects – I know I wasn’t. I struggled immensely with math, and a bit with certain aspects of science. I’m all for inspiring confidence and teaching new skills, to both boys and girls. And, that’s what the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts are all about, right?

    Lots of thoughts spilling over. Thanks, as always, for the inspiring posts, and dialogue. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and this is mine.

    • Hi Laura Beth!! Thank you so much for sharing this awesome response. You’re so right – i love having a dialogue and understanding where everyone is coming from and hearing all the different thoughts and perspectives. I think it leads to mutual respect and understanding, so thank you so much for joining the conversation! First of all, I’m sorry that you didn’t have a great experience with the Girl Scouts. That’s makes me sad that the troop leader didn’t create a positive environment for everyone involved. And I am so with ya girl – we are all children of God, no matter our sexual orientation, gender, race, nationality, religion, etc. And you’re so right – we are called to love one another. Thanks again for stopping by, girl. Hope you have an awesome weekend. Hugs and love xox

      • You’re so welcome! Yes, I love creating mutual respect and dialogue. It’s not easy, especially these days, since we are so politically divided. But, I have faith! I’m sad, too, but it wasn’t a good situation. Both mother and daughter had multiple emotional and mental health issues, and it was affecting the entire troop. It was one of those weird times where inclusion didn’t work out so well. But, I tried my best. I hope you have an awesome weekend, too. Enjoy this gorgeous weather!

      • Aw that’s sad. Yeah. Chalk it up to a learning experience 🙂 and gosh I know – the country is SO divided. And no one is willing to listen – only point fingers. It’s so sad. Thanks love!!

      • Absolutely! I’ve had many learning experiences so far 🙂 You’re a bright light in this divided world! Thank you! XOXO