Dear Boy Scouts,

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I don’t know if you’ve heard the news, but The Boy Scouts have decided to officially change their name.

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Photo: today.com

They’re dropping the “Boy” – and instead, becoming simply the Scouts BSA, in an action that will now include girls in their program.

I woke up on Wednesday, checked my phone, and that headline was literally the first thing I saw. And I actually let out an audible groan, accompanied by an epic eyeroll.

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Are you kidding me? What are we doing, America? 

Now from the surface, this may not seem like a big deal. And maybe, perhaps, even a positive step in the right direction to include girls in one of this country’s most formative boys’ program. After all, it’s been around for 108 years. It’s time they get with the times and let the girls play, right?

Wrong.

Now, before you tune me out, I invite you to just read on with an open mind.

I’m going to just come right out and say it: there is nothing wrong with having an exclusively boys club, and an exclusively girls club: The Girl Scouts.

Why?

It’s not because I’m some backwoods, brainwashed, out of touch conservative that thinks women should just vacuum in pearls all day and cook dinner and meet their husbands at the door with a martini.

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It’s because you and I – as males and females – uniquely reflect the masculine and feminine reflection of God, each in our own beautiful and intricate way.

The likeness of God is as complicated as the “issue” that gender has become in recent years.

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We can’t even buy little girls pink “onesies” anymore without being labeled as an anti-feminist, with an antiquated view of gender.

Preschools in Sweden have adopted “gender-neutral” school environments.

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UT-Austin recently rolled out a program rejecting masculinity, going so far as to cite excessive masculinity as a mental illness.

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Traditional gender expression has become something to squelch. And frankly, it is under attack.

But the fact is, God, in His incredible being, has both masculine and feminine traits, and we – created as males and females, in His image – reflect that in a very specific and unique way.

Men have an inherent yearning to protect. To provide. They strive for bravery, strength, and honor, craving respect and justice.

And females were created to compliment that masculine expression in our own way – with beauty and mercy, having a nurturing heart that longs to love, foster relationships, and create a family – that is literally knit into our biology.

And hear me when I say: I’m not saying that females are not strong, or that men can’t be gentle. We, as children of God, are beautifully complicated expressions of a mix of both masculine and feminine traits of our Maker.

But it’s not a crime to have formative organizations for our youngsters that foster those traditional traits for our boys and girls.

The Boy Scouts foster strong young men, and the Girl Scouts foster strong young women. It’s not discriminatory. It’s biology.

I pulled up the Boy Scout oath:

On my honor I will do my best
To do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law. 
To help other people at all times;
To keep myself physically strong,
mental awake and morally straight.

And the Scout Law says that a Scout is…

Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean and Reverent.

I mean, Hallelujah! If more men actually lived like that, I don’t think I’d be single right now!

I remember growing up, several of my guy friends received the highest “Scout Honor” and became “Eagle Scouts,” and that meant something. It was such a coveted and revered title that boys aspired to.

And I was a Girl Scout. And I loved the sisterhood it fostered. Heck, that was part of the reason I became president of my sorority in college.

In case you were wondering, the Girl Scout oath is as follows…

On my honor I will try
To serve God and my country
To help people at all time,
And to live by the Girl Scout Law. 

And that Law stating:

I will do my best to be honest and fair,
Friendly and helpful,
Considerate and caring,
Courageous and strong, 
And responsible for what I say and do,
And to respect myself and others,
Respect authority,
Use resources wisely, 
Make the world a better place, 
And be a sister to every Girl Scout. 

Again, traits that, Heavens to Betsy, in the narcissistic world of social media and snapchat and Kylie Jenner, we need to be instilling these values in the younger generation.

The Girl Scouts aren’t some backwards thinking organization about just crafting and cookies, either. They prepare the young girls for STEM careers (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math.)

And from their website, their aim is to “help girls pursue four goals: Develop their full potential; relate to others with increasing understanding, skill and respect; develop a meaningful set of values to guide their actions and make sound decisions; and contribute to the improvement of society.”

What is wrong with that???

I would like to submit that instead of suppressing that which makes us either masculine or feminine, in efforts to be more inclusive or “forward thinking,” the real progressive action would be to openly and publicly embrace that which makes us male and female in the image and likeness of God.

In fact, what if we were to step out in boldness and say that, we need to “cut the crap” and get back to our roots. The roots that this country was founded on. The roots that brought our ancestors to this country. The roots that for years, have shaped this nation, until only recently: our trust and belief in God.

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We’re doing a disservice to the younger generation by denying little boys and little girls the formative programs that foster those characteristics that reflect those masculine and feminine reflections of God.

Can you imagine the reverberation in our culture if we taught young boys to embrace their masculine likeness of respect and dignity and honor? Or if we encouraged young girls to celebrate the strength and mercy and fortitude that lives in each of our hearts, as daughters of God?

We would be raising each other up. Calling the other to be the highest version of themselves.

And I’d be so bold as to say that by encouraging these masculine expressions of God in our young men, we wouldn’t have so many Harvey Weinstein’s walking around.

We’d have a generation of men. Who lived with integrity. And followed the freakin Boy Scout Law.

We live in a broken world. Christian values are attacked every single day, in the news media, in the entertainment industry, in advertisements, school curriculum, our laws and cultural norms.

The answer to this conundrum lies within our own four walls. The world is not going to do us any favors.

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It is our responsibility to instill those values in the future generations. Schools aren’t going to do it. The Disney Channel isn’t going to do it. And now, not even the Boy Scouts is going to do it anymore.

Boy Scouts, you’ve really let me down…caving to society’s feminist bully culture like that.

It’s time you take your own advice and adopt the bravery you say you stand for.

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430 thoughts on “Dear Boy Scouts,”

  3. As you found out from the git-go on this, your dissenters are definitely not about freedom of thought, expression, or any other type of liberty not on board with them. There is much of tyranny behind these “modern” agendas. Anyway, thanks for standing strong in a loving stance.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this Jon. It definitely is an issue that people feel passionately about. Hugs and love xox

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  5. As a proud former Boy Scout, I was saddened to learn the news yesterday.
    Many of my former scouts in my troop, have become Doctors, world record climbers, and other high achievers.
    All the nights we spent in pure survival mode, without tents and making survival shelters, learning to rappel, climbing mountains, canoeing the boundary waters, hiking the green river mountain range, and countless other adventures.
    I learned to shoot bows, guns, survival skills, and civic service, all the while remembering God.
    I hope the Scouts can keep to the high standards of those who went before.
    God Bless , keep up your good work.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your insight on this, John. Yeah the Scouts turned out really incredible men. So amazing. Hugs and love xox

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    2. Why are you saddened though? I am not being sarcastic, I just genuinely don’t get it. As a girl who loves being outdoors and going on back country camping trips I would have loved all of this stuff as a kid. But instead I am only having the opportunity to discover it now as an adult. Why would letting girls in the scouts lower the standards? I know that sounds harsh and isn’t what you meant but I can’t help but see it that way. Why can’t the girls go on to accomplish great things like becoming an engineer like I have and start in scouts. Who is it hurting?

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  6. I love your perspective on this! Thank you so much for sharing your voice. It’s sad that America seems to be forgetting the morals and values that it was founded on and so easily submits to cultural norms. And honestly, it makes me upset when people can’t just be who they were created to be (male or female). A dove can’t change into a cat, ya know? God bless you for staying you 💛 forever a fan. XOXO

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    1. Wow – congrats on your Eagle Scout status! You know it’s legit when the iPhone autocorrects it to have capital letters 😎😎😎 Hugs and love xox

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  8. Well said! Your words are like a breath of fresh air in this polluted and political environment we have surrounding us today. Thanks for your courage, boldness, and authenticity in stepping up and speaking out.

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    1. Thank you so much Sherrey. Gosh what a kind thing to say. I appreciate your support. Hugs and love xox

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  9. God Bless the light you shine everyday to every person you meet, know, and pass by! You are a beacon of light and right that I can’t name many others, if at all, can match. Everything you wrote here is totally right! Neither the Boy Scouts nor the Girl Scouts were invented to be an oust to the other gender. They were invented to help spring brotherhood, and sisterhood among members. I look back a few months to the reasons given by those girls who made the news about wanting to join The Boy Scouts, because they wanted to do some of the skill activities the Boy Scouts do. I look at it this way; why can’t The Girl Scouts step up their handbooks a bit and get some more skill oriented things into them (that these girls were claiming The Girl Scouts weren’t doing)?? Theres no mistake that girls in the last decades have been more into hiking, canoeing, all the things that boys have been, than it “used to be” in the 1940s, 50s etc… SO ADD THEM AND GET OUT THERE AND DO!!! They can tweak their handbooks. People do forget that both organizations were developed as a way to contribute to the Nationalism of our country because it was the time of the World Wars. I bet you the Girl Scouts won’t start letting in boys now will they?
    Hugs and Love Beautiful Gal! xoxoxoxo

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    1. Oh Miguel, thank you my dear friend to this wonderful support and encouragement. Yes! Brotherhood and sisterhood – things we do desperately need right now. I hope they don’t! Hugs and love xox

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  10. I agree. The Bible states what an abomination it is for men to dress as woman. Now a days gender is seen as an emotion and not as truth. If you are born male but identify as female then you are female. If you are born female but identify as male then you are male. If you are born human and identify as a cow or a horse or a dog then you are that…. I mean come on! That is the spirit of confusion. That spirit does not come from God. I just pray for those souls to find solace and security in the Lord. I for one am also tired of feeling like acting or dressing feminine is a weak attribute when I in fact am a female. It’s so alerting how preverse this world continues to become.

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    1. Am by no means trying to offend or disrespect anyone who feels conflicted nor am I judging them. I do believe that God loves us all. Flaws and all. I do however believe that feeling those who do identify with their given gender and those attributes are now looked upon as being against human progression and being a sexist etc. The fact that I don’t agree that boys or men should wear dresses does not mean I devalue the man that does. I acknowledge that person also is loved. Just wanted to clear that up so I don’t come off judgmental. It’s just the signs of our time.

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      1. I hear ya girl!! That came through loud and clear 🙂 thanks again for joining the dialogue.

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    2. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah such a broken world in which we live. We’ve got to be the light in the dark! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  11. Feminist bully? Huh? Maybe the name/policy change endeavors to include girls who are interested in the clearly different curriculum of activities. Isn’t it possible that it’s a matter of “oh, girls want to learn more about camping, too,” rather than a deep, dark agenda to undermine God’s law? I fear your writing tends to further segregate people into categories like “hater” or “conservative” and whatever else of the like. The most commendable roots of this country are firmly entrenched in the concept of unity/Union – thanks in large part to the influence the Iroquois Confederacy had upon the Founders. To my thinking, that means the more inclusion and openness, the better. Why dismiss the possibility of positive intentions and outcomes?

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    1. Hi Nichole, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’ve brought up some really powerful points. I’m all for inclusion and unity. But I also respect the tradition that the Boy Scouts have held for 108 years. That’s all 🙂 you’ve offered a lot of great food for thought. Thanks for joining the conversation. Hugs and love xox

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      1. The traditional values ought be what matters more than “boys only,” though, right? Good citizenship, character, etc. in the pledge – doesn’t it seem positive to encourage such traits in anybody who is interested?

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  12. Am by no means trying to offend or disrespect anyone who feels conflicted nor am I judging them. I do believe that God loves us all. Flaws and all. I do however believe that feeling those who do identify with their given gender and those attributes are now looked upon as being against human progression and being a sexist etc. The fact that I don’t agree that boys or men should wear dresses does not mean I devalue the man that does. I acknowledge that person also is loved. Just wanted to clear that up so I don’t come off judgmental. It’s just the signs of our time.

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  14. I’m amazed every time I visit your page. You’re an actor, model, business woman and writer and in spite of that you are natural, unselfish and believe there is a God who we have an exciting opportunity to befriend and love as He loves us. I don’t find those values in the arts, the business world media and politics any more. We have been on a downward spiral as far as values goes for a long time and obviously haven’t read Gibbins “Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire” because we are hell bent on entering an age of anarchy once again. So what does that have to do with your blog? Well all this nonsense about level playing field, equality, and all that stuff is related to our decline. Because kids these days are “latch key” kids whose parents both work or are involved in their clubs and pleasure they are left to their own devices and don’t learn values from their parents who are too busy for them. Ask the Chaplains in our schools (if they are allowed in now) and they will tell you kids are desperate. They seek love through sex at an early age, they follow trends slavishly in the hopes of being with the cool kids, they bully and are bullied. The reaction of the “progressives” is that a conditioning has to take place in our schools to deal with the problem. We need to avoid anything to do with diversity as it divides so we go for the lowest common denominator and you’ve hit on one aspect of the problem. What’s it all about? Go back to Genesis for the answer. God created man and woman, the significance of the woman coming from man’s side is she wasn’t to be above or below but was to be his mate. Different but equal. It was only after the fall that she became second in command but never intended to be inferior even then. But God created the difference for them to complement each other and their gender was distinct for a reason. Between them they produced children each contributing to the miracle. And between them they were to model the aspects of God’s love. Only a man and a woman in a relationship together can model that in its completeness, though we can reflect love individually. Who wants to mess God’s plan up? Satan! He was not happy about being left out of the plan to create this world and he wants to mess it up and cause our ruin to hurt God. He’s being quite successful isn’t he? But only for a little while longer. He works through his henchmen on earth to destroy diversity as God planned it and substitute his own destructive counter plan.

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    1. Oh my gosh what a kind thing to say. Thank you Ian. I am humbled by your generous words. Amen – we’ve got to get back to the basics in genesis. He created a perfect world and we fell from it. Now we are dealing with the repercussions. THat just means that we need to be the light! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thanks MA!! I appreciate the support and encouragement. You’re a great friend! Hugs and love xox

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  16. I am conflicted as I write this, because my initial reaction to your post was that I wanted to read it through my own filters and reject it out of hand. I think that is part of what is wrong with our country, right now, though – so I really, truly wanted to understand where you were coming from. I am glad I read on, because I do understand better. I don’t agree, but I understand. You are viewing the decision through the filters of your religion – your belief system – and of course you are. That is what religions and belief systems are for.

    I have a different belief system, so I view this decision differently. The thing is, you seem to be judging a non-Christian organization through the filter of your Christian beliefs. The Boy Scouts of America is not a Christian organization – at least, not that I could find on the internet.

    From Wikipedia: “Buddhists, followers of Native American religions, Muslims, Jews, Christians of all denominations, and many others, including those who define their own spirituality, can be and are members of the BSA. The BSA recognizes religious awards for over 38 faith groups including Islam, Judaism, Baha’i, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism, Sikhism and 28 varieties of Christianity”.

    Not all religious or spiritual people believe that man was made in God’s image, or that masculine and feminine are the only aspects of God. Many, many people believe that God is in ALL things, all humans, animals, plants, dirt…you name it, if it exists, it is an aspect of God.

    The Boy Scouts of AMERICA, as far as I could find online, is not a Christian organization, but rather one that values spirituality and a belief in God, in whatever form that takes for the individual. I kept reading your post and the comments, because I really want to understand your point of view. I don’t disagree with all of what you say here, I simply think that it presents a fairly narrow viewpoint, one laying Christian values over a non-Christian organization.

    Thank you for allowing me to understand you better, and letting me be part of the conversation.

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    1. Hi friend! Thank you so much for taking the time to read through it with an open mind and for joining the conversation. You’ve really given me a lot to think about and mull over. That’s the awesome thing about open and respectful dialogue – we can all bring our own beliefs and perspectives and experiences to the table and foster understanding. Thank you for doing that. Big hugs to you xox

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  17. Phew! Well, well said! America is losing it…we think we don’t have to act because our door isnt being broken down…but if we keep letting it go eventually it will be our doors and our families. Thank you for so boldly saying what needs to be said!

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    1. Thank you so much. Yeah, it was scary to push publish on this one, so I really appreciate the support. Hugs and love xox

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  18. I was involved with a Girl Scout Organization investigation a while ago. Integration, has its drawbacks. But, Boy Scouts losing almost 16% enrollment since 2007 makes this move less risky. That’s a $20-30 million dollar loss yearly. It’s not sustainable. A glaring oversight here is that in 108 years of scouting there are only 12 Black Eagle Scouts.

    Boy Scouts of America was officially integrated in 1974 a decade after the Civil Rights Movement started. So. I get it why girls? Why now? Why change? Why not go back to its roots of segregation?

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      1. Perspective? That would imply an attitude or opinion. I merely included facts that don’t quite match your rhetoric. Or those that agree. Doesn’t matter. There’s way more in agreement. Aggressively shaking their heads even.

        Now. Why is that? Is it easier to swallow than to think critically for a second? We don’t really need more boundaries do we? Well. God chose you to write this so, we must.

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      2. Sorry if that word was offensive to you, Kenzie. That was not my intention! Just appreciated hearing your thoughts! 🙂 sorry, I clearly said something wrong. Hugs and love xox

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      4. Full of beans? Thank you for your insult Roland. You know, I’m a minority and with that we are conscious of our actions since, birth. I’ve argued in court rooms for deaf people to have equal opportunities. I’ve contributed my research to lawsuits of unfair work practices for companies that have billionaire CEOs. I’ve sat with children while they recount unspeakable horrors. I’ve pulled my friends from wreckage during the military. But, like you said Roland I’m blind and full of beans. I’m blind for encouraging my children to become what they choose while teaching them that they should not be held back by their gender or race. Should they choose your “moral superiority,” they lose. Roland.

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  20. Realizing, I fall outside the norm of many of your followers as someone that is a member of the LGBT community, I agree with you on maintaining boys only in Boy Scouts and girls only in Girl Scouts. I have a basic belief in scientific principles – i.e. nature dictates there are definitive separation of biological genders. Granted, anomalies do exist, but they are not the norm, with that being said, the very natures of biological development in boys and girls are inherently different. They are different but they are still similar in their human natures.
    I think this is a bad move on the part of the BSA.

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Lots of powerful points to mull over. Hugs and love xox

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  22. I loved this post and the truth of it. I don’t know if you’ve ever read The Family A Proclamation To The World but I think you’d like it. You can find it on lds.org (just search for it). Thank you for being a light to the world. 💖

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    1. Thank you so much Camie! So glad it resonated with you! I haven’t but I’ll definitely check it out. Thanks for the recco. Hugs and love xox

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  23. I haven’t been here in a mighty long time…I came back to this blog staring me in the face.

    I have to say I’m in full agreement with this post (also cue the first two lines of “Basics of Life” by “4HIM that resonates with all this as well as lil’ Raven’s epic facepalm).
    Boys and girls, men and women can coexist together without it being deemed a threat to ‘identity and progression’ …aye.

    Keep on writing!

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  24. First of all, I agree with most of what you said. Second, I’ve been with the Boy Scouts since 2003, when my son decided to be in the cub scouts. I have served many positions including Scout Master of our troop. Currently, I’m serving as Eagle Board Chairman. I have the distinct opportunity to approve eagle projects and serve on the young men’s eagle board of review. I’m the first one to shake their hands after receiving their Eagle rank. I’ve said all that to say this; no matter what happens, no matter who joins, the BSA has a wonderful program. The Boy Scouts of America didn’t really change their name, they’ve changed the wording for the programs they offer to be able to fit the new coed arrangement. Yes, they are going to allow girls in the program and in some areas in my state, the girls have already joined cub scouts. In 2019, they will start allowing girls into the older program. Do I agree with it? No, not necessarily.
    First of all, there’s a lot that’s got to happen in order for the girls to join. There’s got to be separate leaders for the girls. Within most troops in my area, it’s hard enough just to get leaders just for the boy scouts. In a nutshell, in order for the girls to join, we’re having to create whole new troops and packs. A lot more work for the already stretched leaders.
    To be honest, I really think it’s a numbers game. Back a few years ago they, the BSA, made the decision to allow gays into the program. A lot of scouts/leaders didn’t like it and the parents took their kids out of the program. I know it hurt the program because I saw the numbers. They lost millions in revenue and in sponsorship. I really don’t think they thought that decision through. Now they’re trying to make up the difference by allowing girls into the program. I may be wrong but that is a thought.
    Thank you for bringing this up. I really like reading other peoples views on this subject.

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    1. Gpor insight for sure. But, I part company with you as I believe your “equivication ” mindset has precipitated this devastating irreversible change. I salute you for your service, but strongly condemn you for NOT taking a stand. You sir, are blind.
      Darn your hide.

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    2. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. This is really powerful insight. Yeah at the end of the day, we have to remember that this by and large was a business decision. Hugs and love xox

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  25. My goodness, amen sister! If it’s alright, I’m reblogging this. I never do that, but I will this time because I really couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you for sharing the truth!

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  26. Hi!

    I am glad the Boy Scouts are becoming more inclusive. I remember a time in the 1980’s when I was being groomed to be an Assistant Scout Master (ASM), there were two important issues that came up. And I felt I could not honestly promote the BSA. I gave up my desire to become either an ASM or SM.

    The issues were connected. Basically BSA HQ issued the decree that (1) Atheists could not become SM or Eagle Scouts, and (2) Homosexuals could not become SM or Eagle Scouts.

    The first one troubled me the most. Even without the anti-homosexual agenda, I felt I had to leave. And I did. And became a better man by sticking to my ideals and looking for better ways of living.

    The BSA lost the financial support of the Bank Of America (BOA) and other institutions.

    I would be interested in what others might say on this issue.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. yeah, i do think that much of this decision was a financial one. Hugs and love xox

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  27. I’m not from America and in my country we don’t have Boy or Girl Scouts, which personally I think is sad, as it may teach some of these kids around here some manners. But I want to shout Hallelujah and Amen. Brilliantly put and 100% agree with you – gender roles are being messed up and attacked and switched around and I honestly don’t understand it. It’s really not that difficult to be male of female. Thank you for this post.

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    1. Hi Em, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. So glad it resonated with you! Oh the confusing times we’re living in! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  29. Well said.
    Few things make me angry but the present gender idiologies do.
    Not only do they have zero credibility as far as true science is concerned, but they make they transition from child to adult even more of a mine field for this generation. Adolesents already struggling with new feelings and hormones, to come to terms with their changing identitity, now have the additional burden of deceding their sexual identity.
    I have no problem accepting someone who has a genuine medical condition, but these are few and far between. Now children as young as sixteen are irriversably multilating their own bodies, minus even parental consent, based purely on the transitory emotions engendered by adolesence.
    It’s very common for girls to experiment with their friends, kissing etc. Boys also can feel a strong masculine bond similar to a sexual attraction. It doesn’t mean they are gay, or trans or whatever, it’s just part of growing up and adjustment. Usually these things pass when they become confident enough to find a partner of the opposite sex, but now these things can so easily be misinterpreted.

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    1. Hi Claire, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts this. A mine field – that is such a great description of it. As though navigating puberty and adolescence wasn’t challenging enough!! big hugs xo

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  30. I’ve been accused many time of Anti-feminist views, more times than I can count (even with slightly relaxed pro-life views) when I’m all for women’s rights in many areas. in my town we have an all male and an all female High School (ages 12-18) never really been any complaints

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    1. Hi Benny, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah there’s something to be said for not having the distraction of the opposite sex when hormones are raging. haha It actually allows for an environment where learning is the focus gasp! haha I went to a coed high school and loved it, but I can definitely see the advantages of the all boy/girl schools. Hugs and love xox

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  31. I think it’s great girls and boys are given the same opportunities. I went to Brownies and it was so boring compared to what the Cub scouts got to do.
    We don’t gender stereotype in our family, we don’t do gender specific toys or colours. Everyone gets to choose who they are. I think putting people into boxes is why we have such a high rate of mental health issues now, expectations people can’t fulfil. Let people be who they are. Raise them knowing the difference from right and wrong for sure, and with compassion and empathy. But let people find their own niche.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. Compassion and empathy are so so important in today’s world! Hugs and love xox

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  32. The sad fact is that BSA has been the victim of declining numbers for several years. I am afraid this change is going to kill the Girl Scouts first and will not ultimately save Boy Scouts as an organization either.

    I think this misses that both boys and girls have an elemental need to have at least a few places where they can benefit from a single-sex environment. We have lost another one.

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    1. Hey JP, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. so true. there are sisterhood and brotherhood bonds that tap into a specific part of one’s development. I was part of a singing group of 8 of my best girlfriends from grade 2 until grade 12. Those girls and the friendships we fostered through our weekly meetings (with our “director” who was 13 years older and like our big sister/mentor) were and are the most meaningful relationships in my entire life. And if boys were in the mix, it would have completely taken away from the personal development and bonds, because then there would be pressures of impressing the boys, or thinking about what they’re thinking – teen girl stuff. etc. It really is such a shame. It saddens me Hugs and love xox

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  33. Firstly, I am not here to bash your opinions – your opinions are yours, and you have the right to speak out on them; I hope others with differing views will afford you that same respect (or, if they can’t, I hope they just don’t bother commenting). My views may well be coloured by my very Englishness, plus personal experiences of being a Girl Guide way back when (and I hated it; I mean I really hated it).

    Here in the UK “God” has been removed from the pledge because nobody thinks it’s fair that only white, Christian children should be allowed into these groups. There are so many different religions on this one small island, and most of us are fairly sure that Lord Baden Powell would have wanted complete inclusivity. Muslim, Sikh, Hindu and Jewish children are a strong part of the movement now, reflecting this country’s multi-culturalism and our embracement of it – as they should.

    Looking back, my troupe did a lot of things that some other troupes might consider boy-related (knot tying, sailing, orienteering, etc) but it was still very much stuck on churning out perfect little Stepford Wives who would always do their husband’s bidding and forget about their own needs and desires. I’m a tomboy who respects those who deserve respect, and will bow down to no man, so this continued practice still doesn’t sit right with me. Men need feminine skills too, as much as women need masculine skills – especially in this day and age where the number of single people has never been higher due to overpopulation, hectic work schedules, no time for a social life and isolation as a result.

    So, my general feeling is that all genders should have the right to decide which group best fits their wishes for their future. I always wished I could go to Boy Scouts instead of Girl Guides, because they got to have the most fun. I missed so many opportunities that I would like for my great-niece to have in this more enlightened day and age – including not being allowed on the school basketball in spite of being a far better player than any of the boys (and it was my favourite sport, so even now this rankles with me). Girl Guides failed me; it was always going to fail me because I never wanted to be their production-line version of the perfect woman.

    This is a wonderfully written piece, by the way. I don’t have to agree with you in order to recognise and respect a well thought out viewpoint committed to the internet ether for all time. I think it does everybody good to ;isten to all sides, else we’d be living in an echo chamber – which is healthy for exactly nobody 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insight on this. I really appreciate you joining the dialogue. You’re so right – we all have our own perspectives and opinions and that is an awesome thing. And the great thing about an open and respectful dialogue is that we all bring with us our own experiences and beliefs, and when we come to the table with an open heart and mind, and a willingness to listen, we can foster understand and mutual respect for everyone. so thank you for doing just that! you rock my friend. and you offered some really powerful food for thought that I will be mulling over all day today 🙂 big hugs xo

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  34. I agree with the author, there are just some things that as both males and females, that we need to do separate from one another. Yes there numbers are in decline, just like other conservative organizations and churches. This is the result of changes in social values brought on by changes in fundamental beliefs. Use to children had no choice but to go to church, go to school, and obey the laws of society. They were taught the “golden rule”. Now if you were to ask about the “golden rule”, no one would know what you are speaking of. When you take God out of society you get rebellion of youth, moral decline, murder of unborn babies, and euthanasia of the old and feeble. To see the affect of kicking God out of the schools you can easily see the decline in America. Since 1960, violent crime has risen 560 percent, illegitimate births have increased 400 percent, teen suicides have risen 200 percent, divorce rates have quadrupled, average SAT scores have dropped 80 points, and the proportion of children living in fatherless families has increased three-fold.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Oh the Golden Rule! How important and desperately needed that is. Hugs and love xox

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  36. Absolutely correct. My first encounter with Spirit was distinctly female and it wasn’t Mary the blessed Mother of Jesus. She came to me much later. Keep writing.

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  37. Well said, Caralyn! Might I add my two cents?

    I’ve been having a Facebook discussion with a complete stranger about this, and I’d like to share what I told her. I hope you don’t mind me hogging the space. I will leave out the other person’s comments out of respect for her privacy:
    “Because there is already an organization for girls, and study after study shows that girls do better in all-girl environments as far as achieving, feeling confident, and becoming leaders. It isn’t always the girls who have problems with those issues–it’s the leadership. Girl Scouts allows girls to rise to their full potential in ways they won’t as members of Boy Scouts. I’ve known many girls who had been Venture Scouts (the Boy Scouts coed high unit) and girls who been in both BS and GS, and I can tell you that they do not have the opportunities and achievement capabilities as in GS. Maybe for some girls, it’s just what they are looking for as far as outdoors, camping, etc., but in the right troop, they can have all of that with GS, too. And without the sexual tension that can and will arise with coed groups. The bottom line is that it truly is better for girls to be a part of Girl Scouts. By the way, did you know that every single woman astronaut and every single woman who has ever been elected to Congress (both houses) was a Girl Scout?”
    “I personally don’t feel it’s (allowing girls into BSA) necessary. There are many groups, from high school organizations to religious groups to sporting teams and more, that cater to boys and girls. Making Boy Scouts a coed organization devalues the inherent qualities that make the groups special. In a day and age where there is so little offered for only boys or only girls, it’s important to have these groups that have traditionally been places where boys can boys and girls can be girls. I’m sorry if anyone takes offense to my passion. As a Girl Scout leader for 15 years, and a Girl Scout camp director for 12, I see on a very personal level, how important it is to maintain these distinctions.”
    “Boys and girls behave differently when they are together and when they are apart. I can’t speak for boys at camp, but I’ve heard so many girls say that their refuge is our annual camp because they can just be themselves without feeling any pressure.They’re more confident, more self-assured, and more likely to step up as leaders. My oldest daughter is a natural leader. At school, she found herself always being shut down (especially by boys) because she was too assertive. In Scouts, she found that she could rise to the top, be a real leader, and be looked up to by girls and adults. She always says it was a completely different attitude. Many girls really do feel like they have put on airs and act a certain “acceptable” way around boys. It’s important for them to have their own place, their own group, where they can relax and have fun without feeling any judgement. And here’s something I’ve observed many times: when boys are not in the picture, girls are not catty or judgmental. It’s a completely different atmosphere.”

    Anyway, she finally told me that she is against all gender labels and feels that we should never refer to anyone as a boy or girl and agrees with the societal push toward eliminating gender altogether. I respectfully told her that we would have to agree to disagree. That’s a topic for a whole other day!

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    1. I most definitely agree with you. I went to an all girl HIgh School. We had a couple of male teachers, but the principal and vice principal were women. I think it was a very positive experience (way back long ago lol) for girls to see women in positions of leadership. Another thing, if we were having a dance we had to call up the boy and ask him if he wanted to go. It was a powerful lesson on the shoe being on the other foot and I always had sympathy for the guys who usually had to do the asking. Cheers Pat

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    2. This is such a powerful response, Amy. Thank you so much for sharing it! Amen amen amen! Growing up, I was in a singing group with 8 of my best girlfriends. We would meet every Monday at one of our houses from 2nd grade until we were seniors in high school. Our “director” was a big sister/mentor figure who was 13 years older than we were. We’d start out each rehearsal with a “candle time” that was a prayer circle, and then we’d sing. We’d sing at weddings, coffee shops, we even put out a CD. But the main focus of that group was sisterhood. and those friendships in that all-girl group were and are some of the most meaningful relationships in my life. But had there been boys there, we would have been worried about what they were thinking, or trying to impress them. By being all girls, we were able to share our hearts without fear or self-consciousness. I was a Girl Scout too. And echo all the things you touched on in your response. thank you again for sharing this powerful reflection. big hugs xo

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  38. Awesome post!

    I was saddened to hear about this as well. Traditional gender roles are being attacked from every direction. I recently saw an article where Harvard (I believe) has classified masculinity as a mental illness.

    Our current world does not want men to be men and women to be women; they simply want everyone to be the same gender across the board. At least, that’s what I think.

    Where does it end? Our Christian values are attacked every day in all forms of media. I think it’s time we take a stand and take back the things that the bullies are taking away from us.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Joe. Yeah, isn’t it so sad to see what the world and our colleges — that are shaping the future of our country — are coming to?! Where does it end indeed. Hugs and love xox

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  39. Thank you so.much for this post. It was well thought out and written. I would also add that as individuals there is nothing wrong with a boys club or girl club or transgender club for that matter if one so chooses to create one (oh wait they have)! Associating with people with like interests and characterists isn’t a bad thing occasionally. My husband recently had the opportunity to get together for a weekend with his guy friends from high school- it was great for him! It’s the same for teammates or co-workers or mom’s groups, it’s good for us as humans!

    I could go on and on…but I loved this! And what a beautiful conversation you have started! Wow!

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    1. Hi Jessica, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – it is so good for us as humans! thanks for joining the dialogue! Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much 🙂 You’re so kind to say that. Glad it hit home with you! hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  41. I agree with you wholeheartedly! First the whole bathroom thing and now this?!? I being women should relish the sisterhood of being a woman. Likewise for the men. There is a uniqueness there that God did create. Now I’m not saying that someone cannot be gay (brother is) but tolerance can only go so far. What about sororities and fraternities? Is exclusivity gone?

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    1. There really is something so beautiful about sisterhood. And yes – brotherhood too. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! Hugs and love xox

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  42. Seems to me if there was an adequate answer to your very first rhetorical question, “What are we doing America?”, then there might be a starting point. However, succumbing to the pressures of the many bullies that abound in our country is what I believe fuels issues like you are writing about. Your words are music to my ears as a pastor in a local Presbyterian church, in fact, your grounding in God is something that is tough to find today. You see, I think the bullies in our country include all those who allow money to cloud their perspective – the Boy Scouts included and….government, politicians, teachers, parents, and yes, maybe most importantly in the context of this particular discussion…the Church!

    You see, maybe this doesn’t happen in your church, but I have heard the phrase, “being a good Presbyterian” as if the Jesus who died on the cross for me is any different than the Jesus worshipped in other Christian churches. But, we all know that what defines most churches today is not what we are for, but what we are against. How we are “defined” often is dependent on how much money is flowing and from whom. Now I know it is not as simple as this but I do believe that what we worship today in this country…on a large scale, is the almighty dollar and the continuing attempt to eliminate from it, “In God We Trust”…whether literally or figuratively.

    Keep doing what your are doing! Our voices are the one thing we are gifted with from our Creator. I am afraid that “things” are going to get worse before they get better but we cannot give up or give in. I pray God’s blessings on you that you will continue what you do…in Jesus’ name!

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    1. Hi Dale, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I am truly touched by your kind words. Amen – Jesus died for all people. And sadly, there is so much truth in that: we have made money, fame and power idols in our culture, literally worshiping them. We need to get back to our roots. Hugs and love xox

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  43. Can someone stop the world, I need to get off. In the midst of children dying all over the world, we add more problems by confusing them about who they were created to be. It’s tiring, but we will keep speaking about this till maybe someone hears and listens. Thanks Caralyn. Permit me to reblog this.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this powerful reflection. so so true!!!! And absolutely, i would be honored if you passed it along! have a beautiful weekend. Hugs and love xox

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  44. I listened to a NPR show on this a few months ago and had the same reaction. They even had a rep from the Girl Scouts on the air who said there was no way Girl Scouts would allow boys because girls need a space to be girls and feel safe and able to express themselves without being intimidated or overshadowed. I don’t understand why boys can’t have the same privileges. Thanks for bringing this subject to people’s attention.

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    1. Thank you so much Kelli, for sharing your thoughts on this. So true! There’s something so beautiful about sisterhood and brotherhood. it brings out formation that just can’t be tapped into in a coed setting. Hugs and love xox

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  45. Good afternoon dear, How have you been? Wow, from where do I start. I totally agree with your view. The way you shared this post came across as a public speech to me and for me that’s unique. Thank you for sharing the Boys Scout oath, the Girl Scout oath and The Law, for sure I learned something new!!
    Have a lovely Friday ☺🌺

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, Angelica! And gosh, you’re so kind – thank you! hope you have a great weekend. Hugs and love xox

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      1. Good morning dear, you are more than welcome. Thank you for accepting my thoughts. You are so sweet and kind .. take care and much love 💝🌸

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  46. I totally agree. I was in the boy scouts as a young teenager; it was an all boy troop with all male leaders. Boys (and men) really need that kind of bonding time, where they can feel a bit more free to be who they are and express themselves in ways that they can’t when women and girls are present. Back then, we could walk around camp in our undies if we needed to, and use the bathroom in the woods. We played tackle football, and wrestled, and did all kinds of “boy” things. I wouldn’t let my son join now; instead, he and I just take boy’s weekends and camp by ourselves.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this, John. Yeah, there is something so powerful about the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood. Hugs and love xox

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  48. I think you nailed it. You mentioned putting baby girls in pink onesies. As I’ve said before, there is nothing feminine about pink, nor masculine of blue. That’s 100% a social-construct. I mean, they used to put baby boys in dresses. (It’s a real thing. Look it up on the google machine) BUT, like you said, God did make male and female differently. Why is it so terrible for there to be spaces for boys/girls/men/women? I think of the church; we all come together as one body. However, it’s not a bad thing for churches to have women’s groups, singles groups, youth groups, etc. As someone who has recovered from ED, I believe you can appreciate having a space to be with people who are like you. I will never understand what it’s like to live with disordered eating. Which is why I would send someone who is struggling to a gal like you who understands. But yes, God did make male and female in His likeness yet we are beautifully, distinctly, and purposefully different.

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    1. Hi Kristin, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. That is so true – the bonds and relationships you form in sisterhood/brotherhood groups are so formative and powerful. so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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      2. I was!!! hahaha oh my gosh, way back in the 90’s! But also recently on Mother Goose Club haha

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      3. I knew that was you!!! Goodness. My daughter was watching it today. I told my husband “man, that looks like a blogger I follow”.

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  49. Well said. We are trying to raise our son to understand what it means to be a man and that includes how to treat women. I want him to be proud to be a male. I want him to respect and appreciate himself and what makes girls special too. I understand there are people in situations where they are unsure where they are between male and female. It is impossible for me to understand what that must be like. HOWEVER, that doesn’t take away from those that do recognize which they are and they should not feel ashamed of it no more than someone who doesn’t. I also agree we need boys only, girls only activities as well as mixed activities. There is a place for both so our children can develop into incredible humans.

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    1. thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Amen! Sounds like you are raising your son to be a very upstanding young man! we need more of them! haha amen. Hugs and love xox

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  50. Right on, GIRL! And thank you for giving it a ‘faith twist’ which rings truer for me than the mere gender argument or physiological argument most people are using. Boys definitely need their own environment with responsible male role models to help them develop into manhood. Very few boys and young men will be unaffected by the presence of girls in the group; feeling the need to impress the opposite gender. Further, many Boy Scout troops are connected to a local church program and ministry – this development will impact that! Thanks for your insight!

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    1. Thank you so much Steven! So glad it resonated with you! yeah, that’s so true – having the opposite sex adds a layer of unnecessary complexity. brotherhood and sisterhood is important! Hugs and love xox

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