My BAD First Date

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OK! ONTO THE POST!

So I went on a date yesterday.

I know. Call the press. This is BIG.

haha Juuuuust kidding. But it was a bit of excitement for a weekday evening.

It was one of those things that I just made myself do.

I’m trying to be open to love, open to God’s plan for my life. And as you know, in recent months, I’ve finally begun the process of learning how to accept love.

It’s been a long and arduous journey, but here we are. Home stretch of 2018. It’s time for me to start dating.

And since Zac Efron is not in my direct proximity here in NYC, I decided to let one of my friends download a dating app onto my phone.

Which, I only agreed to because this particular one showed whether the guy is Christian or not — in addition to his age, job title and height.

So, I matched with this seemingly perfect guy: Christian. Incredible job. Former D1 collegiate athlete. Corner unit of a luxury high rise that overlooked lower Manhattan. And he legitimately looked like a Ken Doll. We’re talking — cheek bones that could cut glass and a jaw line that would make Ashton Kutcher jealous.

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I was expecting greatness.

And to be fair, I did have a great time. But more than that, I learned a lot about myself.

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We went to this swanky bar. I got all dressed up and felt a bit like a princess. The conversation, though not the most riveting…I mean hello – it was a first date — never lulled for a full two and a half hours.

And aside from dodging his attempt at a kiss goodnight with an extra enthusiastic, “I’M A HUGGER!” line — there was no awkwardness to speak of. I was a smooth operator. He even invited me out again this weekend.

But here’s the thing. This guy (who for the record doesn’t know this blog exists, or that I am even a writer) exhibited several red flags that I couldn’t help but take note of.

For starters, he dropped the F-Bomb within five minutes of our conversation. And then proceeded to use it 7 more times throughout the night. And yes – I was counting.

Look, I’m not looking for St. Michael. I don’t care if you curse. I have been known to throw around a few four letter words every now and then. But not on a first date. Be a gentleman. I am a lady, gosh darn it — show a little respect.

So that kinda got my radar up.

The nail in the coffin for me, though, was when he talked about how he recently took some hallucinogenic drugs at a music festival. And I’m not talking about weed. We’re talking get-you-locked-up, hard drug.

And he was bragging about it.

And again, to each his own. If a person chooses to take drugs – that’s their decision, and I am not going to judge them on it. But I can tell you, that that man will not be the father of my children.

But here’s the kicker.

This guy’s job is one that he can be randomly drug tested at any time. And if he fails that test, he would lose his job. Not like, oh just get another job. No. This is like, he’d never be able to work in his job field ever again.

So I was just blown away by how irresponsibly stupid his decision was to do that. Several times.

Red flag.

Big, bright, flashing red flag.

At the end of the night, coming home, I had a pit in my stomach. Because I knew I was going to have to let this guy down.

And the people pleaser in me hates disappointing people. Especially when it comes to personal matters.

But riding home in my Uber that night, I had an epiphany.

I finally realized what I deserved.

I finally saw my worth in a very tangible way.

Sure, this guy was great on paper. But the fact is: I deserve more than what this guy was offering. I deserve to be respected, and treated as the gem that I am. I am worth that.

I deserve to be in a relationship where trust is not an issue – where I don’t have to worry about the potential for drug abuse problems, or whether my husband will be able to stay clean, especially when there are children in the picture.

And look. Yes, I get it – it was a first date. Maybe you’re thinking, “Jeeze, getting ahead of yourself, much? Pump the breaks on the marriage and kids thoughts!”

Well, to that, I politely say, No.

Because here’s the deal: I’m not just dating to “date around” and “have fun.”

I’m looking for the man I’m supposed to marry.

And so you better believe that I will always always be evaluating him on that fact. And as soon as I don’t feel it anymore, I don’t want to waste my time, but more importantly, his time either by leading him on or letting things just stall because I’m afraid to hurt some feelings.

There is a man out there that God is preparing. He’s preparing my heart, and He’s preparing his. And I trust that He is going to bring him into my life at the precise time, when we both are ready.

Am I glad that I went yesterday?

Absolutely.

I learned that:
A) dating isn’t as scary as I thought it would be.
B) I’m actually not that bad at it.
and
C) I shouldn’t feel badly about not compromising my high standards, because I am worth it.

I’m no saint. You all know my sordid past, and all the skeletons in my closet that I will one day have to share with my future husband. So I fully understand and appreciate that compromise and understanding and grace are two-way streets. And I’m going to be so blessed and grateful for a man who will accept all of me, as I will him.

But I’m allowed to be choosy, and recognize any scary red flags when I see them.

Moral of the story: I’ve just got to keep putting myself in play. Because God will work His agenda, but I’ve gotta meet Him half way.

And finally FINALLY — maybe those dating apps just aren’t for me.

I think I’d rather be introduced by a friend. 🙂

How did you meet your significant other? What’s your best piece of dating advice? I’m ALL EARS! 

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456 thoughts on “My BAD First Date”

  2. I’m so glad you are dating with a purpose! Yes, be aware of all these red flags. These are serious concerns so don’t compromise your worth, values and integrity. You will find the Prince of your life in due time.

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    1. Thank you so much friend! Yes definitely with a purpose! Thanks for the support and encouragement 🙂 means a lot. Hugs and love xox

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  3. The love that sustains marriage is not an emotion that you’ll be swept up and away by. It’s a choice, and by the sound of it, you are making the right choices. You will know, and then you will make the decision to bless them with your love. Until, keep you eyes and ears open!!
    Scott

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    1. Thank you Scott! That is so beautiful. And so true!! It’s a choice. Thanks as always for your uplifting advice!! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Always go with your warning signs. I see too many people ignore them and pay for it later. Have fun with dating. Think of it like going out with a friend which help with feeling relaxed.

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    1. Thanks Harley, you’re so right — gotta trust my gut!! That’s a great way to look at it! Hugs and love xox

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  5. So proud of you for knowing and holding to your boundaries! The best dating advice I ever got was “Settling is trading an opportunity for a problem.” Compromising on your values will never have a good result. You absolutely deserve a wonderful man and I’m so glad that you know it! I’m praying for you! Keep your head held high and eyes on the Lord!

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    1. Thank you so much Amanda!! You’re so awesome, I really appreciate the prayers and affirming words 🙂 and wow!! Love that advice so much! WOW!! I’m going to pass that along to all my single girlfriends too!! Hugs and love xox

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  6. Dead.. 😂😂. Great post. Funny but convicting. Do you realize how much character and will it takes to have something you waited and longed for be in front of you and it to look ok, but for you to not to settle and see through perception and hold on to your standards. That’s huge, at least to me is. May God bless you and your soul for it. Also, geez i miss New York , if not for the sole reason of being able to say… ‘Only in New York’.

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    1. Thanks Nathan, glad you thought so! Thank you for the encouraging words! And haha you’re right about that! Only in NY!! You see and meet allllll types here hahaha Hugs and love xox

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  8. Hey Caralyn, it’s a good thing that you picked up on those red flags. I completely understand where you’re coming from. When I was in college, I was trying to find my soulmate; I had to go through a ton before I found my true love. But I guess the way it is now is much different from my time. I always took my first dates to dinner and greeted them with a lavender rose. If I was feeling in a special mood, I would write a poem for them for that occasion or serenade them, I was always on my best, chivalrous manner because I could hear my mom’s voice in my head if I didn’t and treated her as if she was the only woman in the world. I tried to be funny but also a good listener. My only goal at the end of the night was to secure a chance at a second date. But alas, a lot of my first dates ended there. Guess I was a bit over zealous in my approach but that was who I was. It took a long time but I did find that “special one”. Don’t give up because there is someone out there whose path will find your’s. Be patient cause God is making him go through his own journey to find you. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Hey Mark! Thanks so much for this great encouragement. And thanks for sharing your story. A lavender rose — now THAT is a smooth operator!! Haha but seriously. Such great advice. Thank you friend 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  9. Skeletons or not, you are a terrific model for your choices here (not to mention probably sparing yourself a lot of painful drama). You might have helped turn someone’s life around today. Keep waiting – it really is powerful.

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    1. Thank you friend 🙂 I appreciate the encouragement! Yeah i always hate letting people down but it had to be done! Hugs and love xox

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  11. Love this. You know, I didn’t think online dating was for me. But I gave it a shot and believe it or not the first guy that messaged me is now my boyfriend of three years and we are in a very serious relationship. Of course, everyone is different and will have different experiences. I was also looking for someone whose values and beliefs align with mine. Have you looked into Catholic Singles? That is the online site I used, and met some really kind people. ♥️

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    1. Hey friend! Thanks so much for this awesome advice and for sharing your story! I’m so happy for you!!! I’ll definitely have to look into Catholic Singles. I signed up on it like 7 years ago right when I moved to nyc. I should revisit!! Hugs and love xox

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  12. Good for you! You know who you are and what you are worth. Its not worth compromising on, and you will know when you meet someone that loves Jesus like you do! He will be worth the wait for sure!

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    1. Thank you so much for this wonderful encouragement. You’re so right — he really will be worth the wait! Patience is a virtue for a reason! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  13. Sorry he wasn’t worth a repeat, but having learned from the experience made it worthwhile. I think I told you once what Julie always told our girls – only date a potential mate. So you’re definitely on the right track! And no, don’t see him again. What if he has some of that stuff on him and you get stopped by police together?!?

    The confidence I’m seeing is a huge step from the young lady I only knew as “Beauty” at first, so another well done to you! Looks all good to me!

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    1. Thanks Jeff 🙂 that’s a great point! Yikes! Only date a potential mate – I like that. Julie is one smart woman! 🙂 have a great night, Jeff! Hugs to you and J!

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  19. I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to read about your high standards. From reading your other posts, I expected that the bar was high. It is supposed to be. Never rationalize. I did and married out of God’s will the first time. If this were a sermon, I said a ton of Amens. On a side note, I clicked the link to sign up for the newsletter but was directed to the mail chimp home page. Please let me know if there is an alternate way to do so. Thanks!

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    1. Oh gosh thank you so much Matthew 🙂 that’s so kind of you to say! I really appreciate your encouraging words. Congrats on your beautiful love story! Gives me hope 🙂 oh gosh – sorry about that! I’ll fix the link right now! In the meantime if you want to send me your email I’ll add you manually! Hugs and love xox

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  20. This drug thing also hadme bothered with the last girl I dated… We weren’t talking about being like serious serious, because she didn’t want a serious relationship since she just out of one… but she refused to give in on any little compromises, like smoking less weed, or at least avoid it around me.
    So I told myself, better if I just let it be. It hurt me more than her, because I really really liked her, but that’s just how it is. Gotta invest in what’s good and what will prosper.

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You’re right – gotta invest in what’s good for you! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Sharing is caring. I mean, it’s the exact same for you. At some point we all gotta be PICKY. Nothing wrong with that. Low standarts won’t make anybody happy with the time. So politely rejecting and moving on, as cruel as it may seem, is the most honest and kindest way to go seperate ways really.
        Hugs back. ( which really wouldn’t be a too much of a good idea, totally a hugger too and huggin turns into cuddling very fast, just saying) lol

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  21. First — SO PROUD OF YOU!
    Second– KEEP YOUR STANDARDS and YES the first date matters.
    (Ask one of our daughters who literally had a spread sheet of what qualities she was looking for and the list of names down the left…) Ok, perhaps a bit extreme, but you need to be picky.
    Third — the drug thing a red flag on so many levels, but for me, primariliy is that it shows a desire to get away with things, to be duplicitious, and to be dishonest. The drug is bad enough, but these other characteristics that it shows me, are the real RED FLAGS. These are signs that there is not a submitted spirit to the Christ he claims.
    Fourth — your worth is higher than you even know it.
    Thanks for sharing this. I like that you have a community of thousands to process with and that is a bit frightening for this guy! Now we have a lot of prayers going out for him to level up and meet Jesus. He doesn’t have a chance.
    Lastly — be BOLD. Don’t withhold truth when it is there. Like the thoughts that flitted through your heart. He was trying to impress you with allthe wrong material.
    Love to you!
    Brian

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    1. Hey Brian, oh gosh thank you so much for this thoughtful response and for your encouragement. I think I’ll take your daughter’s lead on the spreadsheet! hahah Very VERY true on #3. Aw, thank you (#4) my heart is so warm after reading this! you are awesome!! very grateful for you! big hugs to you and your family!

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  23. Good for you.

    I’ve pretty much given up on dating apps and sites too… the problem is that I’m probably not going to get introduced to anyone by a friend, because my circles don’t include a lot of Christians, and most of my friends don’t understand the kind of woman I’m looking for; then again, I’m not sure I even understand either, or if she even exists. I’ve kind of given up after what happened earlier this year.

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    1. Thank you so much 🙂 Yeah – the friends route is a tough one in today’s society for sure. I’m sorry, friend. I think young adult groups at church are a great route — yet I have never gone, I think out of fear. Going to change that this autumn! haha Hugs and love xox

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      1. Unfortunately, I’m not so young anymore, and all of the adult singles church groups are all people in their 50s and up with children and grandchildren and nothing in common with me. There aren’t a lot of adult singles in the suburbs. And the singles my age who live in nearby urban areas tend to have social lives that revolve around alcohol and a lot of views that I wouldn’t consider actually Christian.

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      2. Gotcha – well God will find a way to bring you and your future spouse together 🙂 i fully believe that!!!

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  24. Great post! Yeah, definitely don’t lower your standards. To answer your discussion question, I mentioned in a previous comment that I met my wife on eharmony. Love that you know your worth and don’t apologize for it! Take care!

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    1. Thank you Johnzelle! Eharmony! That’s so awesome! Congrats on your love story:) gives me great hope! Hugs and love xox

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  25. So funny you asked. My husband and I were set up on a blind date by my friend who was dating his friend THIRTY-THREE years ago today.
    I could have overlooked the cursing but the drugs a deal breaker. Bye bye.
    Our pastor said you really should only date when you are looking for a spouse and not just for fun. If you’re not planning on marrying there is no reason to bother.
    Since your goal is marriage keep trying. You may just meet a mole like me and have a pretty great marriage!

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    1. Oh wow that’s amazing! CONGRATULATIONS on 33 years! That is so beautiful and inspiring. That’s great advice. 🙂 thanks friend for making me smile today!! Hugs and love xox

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  26. I’m really glad you will be staying away from that dude! I will pray for him. My wife & I met in college through Campus Crusade for Christ. We went to church together and did laundry together before we ever went on a date. It just happened naturally in His timing as we got to know each other. My best advice is to definitely marry a believer in Jesus! I agree with everything you said and I will pray for you. My wife will pray too! God will hook it up in a beautiful way! Blessings sister!

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    1. Thank you Ryan for your prayers! You and your wife have a beautiful love story! I love that so much! Divine laundry! Leave it to God to use your dirty socks for His perfect plan!! Haha Absolutely – faith is a nonnegotiable for me 🙂 thanks again! Hugs and love xox

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  27. You are right. You deserve better. You deserve to treated like the lady you are. I’m glad you went out. But don’t fall for a guy who has so many red flags right up front. The good thing is you found out right away, not after you started to fall for him.

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    1. Thank you so much Steve. You’re right about that – red flags are red for a reason: red for STOP! Hugs and love xox

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  28. This is such a relatable post as someone who is also searching for the person I want to marry instead of dating for fun (I’ve never been on a date for that very reason). Glad I’m not the only one who will look as far into the future as marriage so early on. And it’s so refreshing to hear someone not be afraid to know their worth and expect to be treated like they’re worth it, especially after your past. God will find you the right man no doubt. Hopefully the next date will go better 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Ash! I’m glad it resonated with you!! The right “Ones” are out there for us! I have faith in that!! Hugs and love xox

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  29. Thank you for sharing. They always look great on the outside, but sometimes, their insides will tell a different story. Gladly, you did not sweep it under the rug like many people do but chose to distance yourself from what could have been a disaster of a bad relationship.

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      3. ✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨✨💛✨

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  30. Dating can be really stressful and at times fun. Set your standards high and send the losers quickly on their merry way. You are smart, beautiful and solidly grounded. Do not let any man make you feel otherwise. Good luck in your search.

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    1. thanks Tink, you’re so right about that. quickly on their merry way — I like that. thank you for such kind words!!! big hugs xo

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  31. I like the fact you realized that, although he looked good on paper, it’s the in person meeting that really matters. To use a sports analogy, broadcasters will often say a team looks good on paper, then reiterate, but the game isn’t played on paper … neither is dating or relationships. Way to go by letting your heart be open, but letting your head rule in this case. You won’t be sorry for having to “let him down” for a second date.

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    1. you’re right – the game isn’t played on paper — I love that so much! thanks for the encouragement, J! Hugs and love xox

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  32. Ok, glad to see you analyze your date! Great Job. But…. you should care if a guy cusses! Seriously. Why would you want to date a guy who uses vulgar terms to make a point. The big thing for me, where was the Christ in his “Christianity”??? Everything you described about him, made me believe he was a fan of Jesus but not a committed follower. Yeah you deserve better, way better. Next time ask them if they are bringing Jesus on the date. No Jesus no date. You are Amazing, set the standards high, so God can reach them. Oh and pray for your future man, trust me, he needs it. 😇

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    1. thank you Stephan! that’s a great point. no Jesus, no date. oh I definitely do! I’ve been praying for him since I was 16! hahaha thanks for stopping by and sharing this awesome advice with me!! I appreciate it so much! Hugs and love xox

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  33. I can’t believe how cavalier that guy is about his reckless behaviors. How can he think that short-sightedness is anything to brag about? You made a good call!

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  35. Agree what you said, and can’t even imagine how worst the picture of a drug daddy.
    True and right that you should stick to your initial thoughts, your “requirements”. not cross and broke your standard because of time / aging.
    For me, I met my wife during work. She is doing clerical work and am a IT guy that’s what I have chance to get in touch with users…. Haha..
    Hope you find your Mr.right ! = )

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    1. thank you so much K 🙂 I really appreciate your kind words! And thank you for sharing your love story! gives me great hope!! 🙂 big hugs to you xoxo

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  36. Yikes! Keep looking! He’s not the one. Although…. I have to admit I was probably not the catch of the day when my husband met me and he didn’t run off, lol! But we were introduced by friends who knew both of us. Praying for you! ❤

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    1. Thank you P, for your prayers and kind words! means so much! And thanks for sharing your love story! I love that you two were introduced by friends! gives me great hope! big hugs to you xo

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  37. Praying for you, dear Caralyn. I’m sorry about the rotten date but SO glad you know how worthy and beautiful you are! That is very important. I met my husband in college, a Christian university. (Not gonna lie… I went to college for an education but I really hoped I’d find my future husband. Haha). Being in an environment where other Christians gather is helpful, I think. If you know of any of those places, give them a try? 🙂 But ultimately, God is in control. You are so loved by him, and I know he’s preparing a great man for you!

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    1. Thank you Hannah 🙂 I really appreciate that!! And thank you for sharing your beautiful love story! Hahah love it! No shame in that game girl!! That’s great advice. I’m going to try the young adult group at church! Amen! Hugs and love xox

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      1. I’m glad you’re trusting yourself. I don’t know anyone over there that isn’t super old or a crazy bicyclist. Both, red flags. 😂

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      3. Yeah bicyclists in nyc have got to be some sort of brave to ride so close to the crazy cab drivers in this city! Egads

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      9. Oh. You know. I’ve been on a lot of first dates but really dated three women. Like, ever. 😳 It’s always been a really long wait. Like at least a year before we even kissed. I think it’s me. I don’t like being close if it’s not serious. I like, not having an agenda. Really getting to know someone. It’s not um, what women like nowadays. There’s a definite competition in dating to find the best looking mate. I’ve gone on those pretty dates and was not that impressed.

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      11. For women, yes definitely. For men, there’s a preception that if you’re not surrounded by women then you’re undesirable. It’s pretty much always been like that the roots of masculinity are connected to our previous marriage practice of polygyny. A celebrity is only as desirable as the amount of followers. The followers, dupe themselves into believing that one day they might be “Mr. Or Mrs. Blankety Blank.”

        In short, dating should be a healthy way to find love in our modern society. Most of the time it contains a lot of judgement.

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      13. Your first taste of social dynamics and dating preferences is high school. 1/100 women fit “magazine beautiful.” That 99%, is the rest of us. Ha ha. Love. Dating. Dating reality shows are very misleading because, 99% are not that standard of beautiful. So, love is not all you need. 🙄😂

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  39. You have the right idea and if you are faithful you will find your man. God has a plan for sure, but you know all that. The friends route is a great way to go. I met my husband of 25 years on a blind date mutual friends set us up on. Funny part is we didn’t like each other on our first date. In fact it took about four dates before we realized there was something there. Our friends kept insisting we keep getting together. Friends really do know us and can sometimes know us better then we know ourselves. You do have to make sure you have like minded friends though and that they understand your values and standers.
    Blessings friend 😉

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    1. Thank you Lorrie!! And thank you for sharing your beautiful love story! Hahha that’s amazing. Friends really do know us. Congrats on 25 years by the way! Gives me great hope! Hugs and love xox

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  40. I’m glad you noticed the red flags early on! You save yourself from so much heartache when you pay attention . I’m glad you’re putting yourself out there . It’ll be fun! Patience is key . God bless you! ♥️

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    1. Thanks so much friend! You’re so right about that – Patience is key — it’s just easier said than done! Haha thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Definitely easier said than done!! I get frustrated like every other day because I’m still single 😂 but I know God will work it all out one of these days 🙂

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      2. Haha oh yes! God will work it all out for the both of us!! Prayin’ for ya friend!! Hugs and love xox

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  41. You got a good head on your shoulders, don’t ignore those flags. The axiom is true in that the little things that just kinda bug you can become BIG issues in marriage.

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    1. Thank you Peter, I appreciate that encouragement – you’re so right about that — little things become big things. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  42. Im a hugger! Love it!
    I was engaged for 5 yrs to a guy I met in college and that crashed and burned but he wasnt worth all the heartache.
    I met my partner now on a online dating site and honestly he is the best person I have ever met.
    Stick it out, be true to yourself and have fun 🙂

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    1. Hahah oh my gosh it was such a funny moment. Oh G, I’m sorry you had to go through that in college but I’m so glad you’ve found a great guy!! Great advice! Thank you! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you Krista, I love looking at it in that way! So true! Thanks for the kind words 🙂 means a lot. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thanks friend for your prayers and encouragement! Yeah I would love to hear a guy’s perspective on his first date red flags too!! Hugs and love xox

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      1. One is going too fast…too eager…clingy…it’s good to move and progress but not so fast. It’s good to be interested but not overly eager…it’s good to want to be together but not clingy…

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  45. Red flags for sure! The cursing one is a big one. It shows he’s not a gentleman. Maybe I’m old school but there’s a time and place for f-bombs and other cursing, and on a first date isn’t it. Glad you’re dipping your toe though. Exciting!!

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    1. Yeah I was pretty shocked by that! I agree! Thanks 🙂 yeah! Definitely exciting for sure! And I’m glad the first one is out of the way! Now I know there’s nothing to be nervous about! 😁 thanks for sharing in the excitement with me! Hugs and love xox

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  47. Best dating advice. Hmm. Be yourself. I was cheeky and very sassy the night I first met my now husband. That’s me! He said he loved that about me. Others would have been scared off. Be you. Know what’s important to you. My husband asked if he could hold my hand the night we met. I knew he was a gentleman. I felt safe. That was important to me too.

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    1. Haha gotta love a little sassiness! 🙂 that’s awesome advice, thank you. And your husband sounds like a winner! 🙂

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  48. For what it’s worth here is what my beloved Spouse wrote about me after our marriage::
    ” I’m lucky to be living with a man like Eric. And it was sheer luck, because when we married I had no idea what his attitudes were about women in general. Of course I must have had an unconscious idea, because I never felt put down by him, and that must have been one of the reasons I took to him. Eric has never discounted my ideas, or disparaged my abilities, or refused to discuss his ideas with me, simply because I am a woman. He seems to have no need to build up his ego by putting down mine, although I think he is very conscious of himself as a man.”
    On our first date we were at the same social development level and ready to become involved. We just knew we were meant for each other. I proposed that date. Two proposals she finally said yes and six months later we were married. Be patient if it is meant to be it will happen.

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    1. Oh wow that is so beautiful – thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds like you really know how to treat a lady! 🙂 but seriously she touched on such important things: especially building her up. God bless you, friend! You’re a good man!! Hugs and love xox

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  49. Trust God. I’m sure you will find your love, potentially/maybe in Church.

    I’m sure there are many wonderful man go to church, may be not your church, close to yours/same city.

    Guys who goes to church also looking for their second half 🙂 Good luck! Finding a right person is the most difficult task of whole life. “He” will make it or brake it.

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    1. Thank you friend. That’s great advice! I should check out the young adults group at church! Thanks for the encouraging words! Hugs and love xox

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  50. Caralyn,
    First, may I say that I am sorry that your date ended up looking so good on paper but ending up not worth the ink use to print it.
    Let’s face it, anyone can look good on a dating profile, a resume or anything else when the right words are used and the right details are put in and others are left out. Hey, he probably doesn’t think twice about his language and obviously doesn’t bat an eye at illicit drug use, so why would those be “red flags” to him? Why mention them on his profile?
    Anyone who thinks that you should just be casually dating to have a good time or taking things more lightly instead of seriously looking for a husband doesn’t understand what dating is all about. Ever since high school I figured that the girls I was dating were potentially going to be life-long mates and while it didn’t turn out that way, I always dated with the idea that “every date is a potential mate”. I’m not sure exactly how old you are but I believe you are in your mid to late 20s which means that a causal attitude about just dating around could land you a life as a single 50-year-old before you know it.
    God does have someone for you and a beautiful charming and talented princess, a daughter of the King of kings and He will see to it that only the right man gets to take your hand.

    Love and Blessings,
    Jim

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    1. Hey Jim, thank you for this thoughtful response. So much great advice here. You’re right – God really is in control on this one and I just need to trust. Every date is a potential mate – love that so much. Thanks again for sharing your wisdom with me! It means the world! Hugs and love xox

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