10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

1. I love Jesus, and I try to live my life accordingly.

2. I fail at doing that all the time.

3. I’m not as confident as I may seem. Inside there is an insecure girl that is desperate for acceptance and love.

4. And yet…I have trouble accepting the love I so desire.

5. It is scary for me to show how I really feel. Walls are easy to build and seemingly impossible to break down.

6. I love being with people, but I need some quality alone time to function optimally.

7. I care fiercely about my friends, and will be loyal until the end.

8. My word is the most important thing I own. I follow through – sometimes to a fault.

9. I am terrified of confrontation, and will even compromise my own feelings/wellbeing in order to please other people.

10. Nothing says how you feel, more than your actions.

Wouldn’t it be something if we all wore our deepest, most hidden feelings on our sleeves?

I think sometimes it’s important to take an inventory of who you are, what’s inside your heart, and where you’re really at.

The biggest part of my recovery from anorexia has been believing that the messy, broken, real Caralyn is worthy of love. And I think sometimes it’s important to take a proverbial look in the mirror and have a come to Jesus moment with yourself.

Because we’re all works in progress. God is working on my heart – shaping it, molding it – into one that is His.

And I think what I need to remember most here, is that yes – it is easy to write all those things on an anonymous blog, but letting others into those personal things is quite frankly, terrifying.

But that girl – the young woman with that laundry list of things she’d rather no one see – she is worth loving. All of her. The proof is on the Cross.

I guess this was just a reminder for me this morning. Maybe you needed to hear it too.

What’s one thing you would wear on your sleeve?


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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

157 thoughts on “10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times”

  1. Everyone has insecurities… God desires for us to bring them and everything we feel to Him. We find complete security and fulfillment in the Lord — and only in Him. It’s a beautiful gift I pray everyone will realize!

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    1. Thanks Terese. You’re so right about that. Bring them to Him! I will join you in that prayer! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hey Kelly! Oh gosh thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. Yes! I’m in your corner, warrior! Hugs and love xox

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  6. Thank you for sharing this! I too love Christ and mess up. But as long as we’re here we get more chances to do things better than we did before.
    Great post!

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  8. I’ve read somewhere that “When you are about 20, you really care how others see you. When you are middle-aged, you don’t care what they think anymore. By the time you are considered “elderly”, you realize that they were never really watching you as much as you thought!”

    What’s one thing I’d wear on my sleeve? That: “I am no worse and no better than anyone else, but I have a hard time ‘getting’ that.”

    Good read; thanks.

    Shalom,
    Yah’s girl

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  11. There are probably no two persons who could be dissimilar as you and I. And yet, your ten things also the same ten things I would also wear on my sleeve. Your story is not my story and yet I sense the same underlying threads in your storyline that are so uncannily familiar. Strange!

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  14. I can totally relate to 5,6,7. Sometimes I rehearse how I want to pour my heart out to someone but when the time comes for me to actually do it, I just go straight to the point and leave my heart out of it… I really get frustrated at me sometimes.
    One thing I would like to wear on my sleeve, sometimes I stay on my own rather than being in the midst of people not because I’m a snob but because sometimes I’m too shy to express myself in a group conversation.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m glad this resonated with you. Ah yes, that’s another good one to wear on the sleeve. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  16. A masterpiece and a work in progress at the same time – –
    I think that is perfect.
    We are ALL a product of our past, and it’s up to us, to take those things from the past that are what we need and want to keep for our future, and throw away what is worthless.

    Thank you for reading my post. I came to see who you are.
    I’ve had this blog forever. I write volumes daily. Yet, I never post. Dunno why. I used to. Have an old blog FULL. Lol.

    Knowing nothing about you except what I just learned with a quick scan, I want to leave you with a little gift …

    I am proud of you. For all you have come through. For believing and sticking to that belief. For recognizing your faults and not letting them define you.

    I see you say you have trouble ACCEPTING love. In most cases, I do also.

    Took 20+ years with my husband to understand that he not only loves me now, he did all the time before, and he will every day after today.

    (Before I even start this, let me admit that I rarely get my words from others. When I do, I say I did. For example: You should watch a Ted Talk that changed so many things for me… it’s called “How to stop screwing yourself over.” It’s by Mel Robbins. She says she changed her entire life in 5 seconds. She’s crazy amazing. But, when she did that talk, she was NOWHERE near where she is now. The talk is about 20ish mins long, but her method is literally only 5 seconds long.”
    See, I quoted someone. Most of what I write is my own ideas, thoughts, and things I have learned through my own experience in the world. So, uh…. sometimes I find myself making things up as I go along. Not because I’m trying to mislead anyone, not because I’m just saying ridiculous stuff.
    I just write whatever comes to me, whatever comes to my mind at the moment. That’s what I’m about to do right now. Okay? Lol.)

    Try this. Every single time someone says something positive to you, FORCE YOURSELF, to look in their eyes, and immediately say “thank you.” Just THAT. Count to 5, while you look at them.
    Then, COMPLIMENT THEM IN RETURN.

    It WON’T always work at first. Just keep at it.
    Here’s the thing. I’m not a religious person. Because of what I have been through. That doesn’t mean I don’t BELIEVE.
    I understand religion. I studied all of the varieties I could.

    Try thinking about the following thoughts in regards to the above exercise. The little behavior change, is “simple, not easy”. (Mel Robbins says that. Lol.)

    But, I find it easier to DO simple things like that, if I have some kind of SOLID forethought to support the reasoning behind the action. It isn’t always accessible. Sometimes, you have to “make it up.” You can add motivation, strength, and the drive to KEEP doing it, by making it real and personal for you.
    Therefore, I offer the following to you:

    1- God has sent this person to me to show me that he values me and so do others.

    • Don’t turn away God’s messenger or deny what they have said to you. He sent them. He didn’t tell them what to say. He trusted the person to see for themselves what you need to hear today. God is BUSY. So, he leaves some things to US, yeah?)

    2- God has also sent this person to ME, because he needs me to give this person a message that they are appreciated (that’s the “Thank You”.) and that their kindness is not unnoticed nor is it without purpose. Don’t let God’s messenger feel like they have spoken empty words to a silent person.

    And the MOST important….

    3- God sent that person to you because he needs YOU to tell that person something they need to hear. RIGHT NOW. Not later. You have to accept their words, thank them, and then tell them what they need to hear, before they get away.

    This one is what will get you through the first two easier.

    Sometimes you will sputter after a compliment. I do. But, when you do that, a person has a chance to get away from you before you have a chance to say something, right?

    Think about this, what if the message you are given, was exactly what you needed to head off a disaster that day? Or to make you feel better after a rough day? What if the road between failure and continuing your path, is as simple as one sincere compliment? I’ve been there.

    Now, flip that over. What if YOUR WORDS, are what that person needs to hear right then? What if god needs you to give the other person, the things a compliment can do for you?

    Not to be grim, but suppose any random person you come upon in 100,000 is one of the 14 people that will commit suicide that day. That is the rate of suicide in the US, as of 2017. (Old data I know. Sorry. I just did a quick google. https://afsp.org/about-suicide/suicide-statistics/ )
    That’s an average of 129 people a day.
    It could be you.
    It could be me.
    Just scanning your blog and seeing 4 facts about you, I know you have probably been on the edge at some point.

    I have. More times than I could count. Really. I stopped counting long before the last one in 2004.

    WE could be in those statistics. So could anyone you encounter today. What if everyone we meet or interact with today, is ONE COMPLIMENT AWAY FROM BEING THAT STATISTIC?!?!

    What if you save someone every day?
    With a single compliment? You wouldn’t KNOW that you did.
    But you don’t know that you didn’t. I don’t.
    God’s messenger to you, doesn’t know if they just saved you.

    DON’T WAIT!! don’t stumble over your words Pooh Pooh-ing what they said.
    Accept it!!
    Thank them!!!
    And just in case, don’t let them get away without a sincere compliment from you.

    Now, sometimes, people will give a “passing compliment”. I find this frustrating. Because they are literally passing you and you don’t have the chance to even TRY to not sputter and tell them “oh. The cake is just a box mix.” Or “I really don’t think these shoes are all that. So old.”

    In this case, (It’s not ALWAYS the best idea. YMMV.)
    But, sometimes, you have a chance to catch a passing person’s hand, or jacket tail… IF you feel it is okay, GRAB IT.

    Or call their name, loud and clear, if you know it.

    Or if don’t know them, yell out, “HEY. OH. WAIT. I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU!!!”.. and if you have NOTHING…..

    Um. Well, truthfully, you NEVER have nothing. You have words, you have hugs, you have smiles, handshakes, thank you’s, and compliments.

    God gave you those things. They are always with you. They are free. They never run out.
    Plus, if you can make safely and comfortably make physical contact with a person, that’s a bonus.
    It’s a fact, that physical touch is good for humans and that most of us don’t get as much as we should. So, if you feel safe doing so, catching a passing complimenters hand, or gifting a quick hug, will improve their health (and yours.) Its happened, I’m SURE. But, it’s pretty rare, I think, for someone who has just given you a passing compliment to get mad about the few seconds it will take you to say thank you, and compliment them in return.

    You don’t know what power lies behind your compliment.
    You don’t know which of you God sent to who.

    TL:DR???

    K. God NEEDS you to QUICKLY accept that compliment, show appreciation, and GIVE A COMPLIMENT IN RETURN.

    Because when you STOP feeling like the compliment conversation is ABOUT you, and thinking, “How can I best serve God by giving love to this messenger?”
    You will probably stop turning love away at the door.
    It’ll be like swallowing nasty cough syrup. Hold your nose and do it fast so you can get to the important stuff.

    Just an idea.
    No matter what. Remember, God loves you. And he is not the only person. You are WORTHY of love. The more love you HAVE, the more love you are capable of giving away.
    That’s how it is supposed to work, I think.

    I know. Long comment. It’s just “what I do”. Lol. If only I could write and post on my own blog more often. Maybe I need to start doing some journal prompts or something.
    Anyway, listen. Thank you again. Just for reading my words. If nothing else, I feel heard.
    And you have me a chance to spread some love your way. Your readers, too.
    THAT makes everything on my heart a good bit lighter.

    Be happy. (And don’t put it off!)
    ✌🏻❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈

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    1. thank you so much for this beautiful response. your heart is shining through, and i really appreciate the encouragement. big hugs xox

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      1. You are so very welcome. I look forward to perusing your blog.
        I thought about my own words all day. I forgot to mention that, well, like I said, I made that up on the spot. I have a knack for that. In the years before I developed severe social anxiety and agoraphobia, I was a social butterfly. It’s hard to remember that person without wincing in pain at the loss of her.
        I was always giving out little bits of love. That’s what I called them. Just like I did here. People who knew me, always said “Why is it you can help everyone but yourself?”
        Last night, I realized I am still doing the same old thing.
        I didn’t think of that whole thing I wrote as a solution to myself. I probably wouldn’t have HAD the thoughts at all, if I hadn’t come here, if you hadn’t made me feel heard.
        So, this morning, I had a notification of your comment. WordPress crashed three times while I tried to scroll to what you said. Through what many others had said. So, I read others’ comments, about 4 times each. Lol.
        I get down to my own comment. Read what you said. I had to re-read what I wrote. For some reason, I never really do that. I don’t re-read my writing. EVER. It’s almost a superstition.
        I also have a tendency to FORGET what I wrote. Often my writing, occurs in a headspace that is intensely pin point focused. When I am writing, it just pours out, uninterrupted, and when it’s done, I pop back to reality, with little recollection of what I said. Just a feeling of “having got that out of my system.” I can guarantee you, that if I come upon another person, with a similar experience, that I won’t say the same thing to them that I did to you. It may serve the same purpose. But, the concept and advice would be completely different.

        So, I had no intention of re-reading my own words. I had done so much “work” to get back here though, and I wanted to put your response into better context in relation to what I said.
        I read what I write, and it was if someone else entirely wrote them. I barely recognize my own words.
        And I thought, “yeah. That’s not an accident. First, I was forced to stop and read almost all of the other responses. Wonderful. And then, her reply, made me return here, made me feel heard, made me re-read my words. Not an accident at all.”

        Thank you again for hearing me. And also, for somehow, redirecting my words back to myself.
        I think I should probably take my own advice sometime.
        🤔

        Be happy. (And don’t put it off!)
✌🏻❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈

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  17. Caralyn, thank you for your honesty, it’s so refreshing. It really made me think; ‘So what is it I wear in my sleeve?’ Listening. Yes, just listening to what clients, friends and family are saying. Sometimes it requires a response and sometimes not. Thanks so much for your helpful post, Suz.

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    1. Thank you Suz, listening. I love that – it is such a beautiful gift to people to jut get them 🙂 love that. Hugs and love xox

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