10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

1. I love Jesus, and I try to live my life accordingly.

2. I fail at doing that all the time.

3. I’m not as confident as I may seem. Inside there is an insecure girl that is desperate for acceptance and love.

4. And yet…I have trouble accepting the love I so desire.

5. It is scary for me to show how I really feel. Walls are easy to build and seemingly impossible to break down.

6. I love being with people, but I need some quality alone time to function optimally.

7. I care fiercely about my friends, and will be loyal until the end.

8. My word is the most important thing I own. I follow through – sometimes to a fault.

9. I am terrified of confrontation, and will even compromise my own feelings/wellbeing in order to please other people.

10. Nothing says how you feel, more than your actions.

Wouldn’t it be something if we all wore our deepest, most hidden feelings on our sleeves?

I think sometimes it’s important to take an inventory of who you are, what’s inside your heart, and where you’re really at.

The biggest part of my recovery from anorexia has been believing that the messy, broken, real Caralyn is worthy of love. And I think sometimes it’s important to take a proverbial look in the mirror and have a come to Jesus moment with yourself.

Because we’re all works in progress. God is working on my heart – shaping it, molding it – into one that is His.

And I think what I need to remember most here, is that yes – it is easy to write all those things on an anonymous blog, but letting others into those personal things is quite frankly, terrifying.

But that girl – the young woman with that laundry list of things she’d rather no one see – she is worth loving. All of her. The proof is on the Cross.

I guess this was just a reminder for me this morning. Maybe you needed to hear it too.

What’s one thing you would wear on your sleeve?


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157 thoughts on “10 Things I Wish I Could Wear on my Sleeve at All Times”

  1. Caralyn, I love this so much. Yes it is so very hard to be vulnerable and I too struggle with that as well. All of these are amazing, and I admire you for being willing to share these with us. So beautiful. Praying for you sister, much love:)

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    1. Oh gosh, thank you Anna, I am so touched by your kind words. Yeah, being vulnerable is a scary thing. But i think it will be totally worth it in the end! Thank you for the prayers. know that you are in mine too! hugs xox

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  2. This is a beautiful expression of who you are and what makes you so wonderful!! Thanks for sharing all of these things. You are amazing wonderful and beautiful!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxo and Love!!

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  3. Beautiful post! Thank you so much for expressing your vulnerability. As maya angelo said “we are more alike than we are different”
    You might enjoy a book called Two Chairs written by Bob Beaudine. It’s helped me a lot.

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    1. Thank you Diane. oh i love that quote so much! I will definitely check that book out. thank you for sharing. big hugs xox

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  4. God bless you sister.

    I can relate to all 10. We all fight the same demons, and these same demons will always make us feel we have to earn it. The last thing these demons don’t want us to believe is that Jesus paid it all on Calvary.

    This world has the wrong view of the “entitlement” Spirit in our youth.

    They have the right heart that it should come freely, but little do they know that what they should seek FIRST is a relationship with God vs. the externals.

    We are ALL entitled to God’s love and to receive freely God’s gift of the Holy Spirit.

    Sadly, this world will teach us to a fault that we have to “earn” everything.

    Being taught since childhood that we must earn everything, makes it extremely difficult for us to receive anything freely without guilt.

    These demons want us to feel we need to earn the love of our significant others, family, friends and the Church.

    And although a life of having to “earn it” is true outside the “Church”, it is not true inside the Body of Christ.

    We cannot earn our way closer to God. And it’s starts by a sincere conviction that it is a gift that we must simply first receive.

    And the more we can receive this FREELY from God, the easier it gets for us to receive it from others and to also freely give.

    Remain the light and salt sister.

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  6. I really enjoyed this post. I would wear my desire to see people restored. I long to see a world where we stop fighting over political views and religious differences and instead walk in unity. I’ve read the Bible and I know this world doesn’t exist this side of heaven, but I would like to do as much as I can to make the people who encounter me know they are loved, valued, accepted, and welcomed regardless of their past, present, or future decisions and sin. “For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help. He will take pity on the weak and the needy and save the needy from death. He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight. — Psalm 72:12-14

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    1. Thank you
      So much Shell for your kind words. Oh gosh I love that psalm so much. A balm to my soul. Hugs and love xox

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  7. I swear these 10 are all me ❤️ you mean the world to me and loads of other people too. You are loved so much ❤️

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  9. This is all normal!

    By the time most people have ‘what they want’ figured out, they’re middle aged, and even then they’re too afraid to live it because of what other people ‘might think’ I’d say you’re ahead of the game!

    Having a friend or two who you can lay bare your deepest inner feelings and secrets to helps LOADS.. once you can tell literally anything to one person and there are no consequences just love and acceptance, it’s easier to do that to the rest of the world too. This has been a game changer for me.

    Do your thing, live it, own it 🙂

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    1. Aw thank you Charlie. I so appreciate your kind words of encouragement. That is so powerful. Own it. Yes! Hugs and love xox

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  11. What a beautifully honest post! I am sure you won’t be as afraid or insecure once you find the right guy, or he finds you! I say that because my wife was that way. Being secure in love changes us in so many wonderful ways. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much my dear friend. Gosh I so appreciate the encouragement. That gives me so much hope! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hey Ryan, thank you so much. Yes! Through the eyes of Jesus! Aw thanks – it’s super warm! Hugs and love xox

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  13. For me, I’d have to add one more: “Remember to let Him help.”

    Caralyn, you are making such a difference in the lives of many people you will never meet by your willingness to own your dark moments and share them. The world is better because of people like you. Don’t ever doubt that. Hugs and love from chilly Kentucky– Mike

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    1. Oh my goodness YES!! I love that additional one so much! Thank you so much for such kind words, Mike. I am so touched and grateful. Hugs and love xox

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    1. I care fiercely about my friends, and will be loyal until the end.
      This is me and I end up getting mowed over. This has caused me great pain & trust issues.
      Thank you for sharing your vulnerabilities with us. 💕

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    1. Oh good! I’m so glad it hit home with you. Oh gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. No one deserves to be mowed over. big hugs to you xoxo

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    1. Thank you John. God sees you and loves you so much:) just like He does all His precious children 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  21. As always, I love you. You are my courageous hero sister under our mutual Father God. Your beauty is deeply internal and tied not to those pesky persistent insecurities but tied most perfectly to who God made you to be, His glory shining put from you. That is what I always mean when I call you beautiful. God bless you today as always!!XOXO 😄❤

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    1. Oh Tonya, thank you so much my dear, sweet friend. Gosh, I am so touched by this. God has made us all beautiful in His image! big hugs to you xox

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    1. Thank you Georgia 🙂 yeah, I don’t know why this was put on my heart this morning, but it was, so I decided to share! 🙂 thanks for taking the time to read! hope you have a beautiful weekend! hugs xo

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    1. Thank you Karen 🙂 I’m so glad it resonated with you. Amen! He’s always at work, and what a miracle that is! hugs xox

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  27. As I’ve said before there’s honesty on this page that is a rare treat in this age. Yes of course we all have challenges similar to yours and that’s why we need to be of comfort and support to each other. Keep being yourself and stay close to the Lord who loves you more than any human being is capable of loving. He is special and He wants us with Him someday so hang in there.:)

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    1. Thank you Ian, what a kind thing to say. You’re so right about that – He wants that so much. Hugs and love xox

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  29. Thanks so much for sharing Caralyn.

    Well, for starters, there are a lotta things I’d like to wear on my sleeves to, but i guess the with the thickest font would be “i wish the world around me would give up its persistent quest to scare heck out of me”.
    But it’s not happening any time soon. So i guess it’s just to consistently toughen up, by the grace of God that is

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  31. “…But that girl – the young woman with that laundry list of things she’d rather no one see – she is worth loving…”
    She is, hang in there & GOD Bless.

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  33. My beloved spouse Patricia was a very private person and never wore any of herself on her sleeve; Yet everyone who saw us together could readily see we were very much in love. Patricia and I were lucky enough to discover that quiet, intense love that is basic to life itself; it is seldom found in real life. We had the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most real to each other. God is very much a part of our love; we are still together in the Kingdom of Heaven.

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    1. Thank you, my dear friend, for sharing that about Patricia. That is so beautiful how God was part of your love. It will be the sweetest reunion. 💛 Hugs and love xox

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  34. Living in this world of sin, as a sinner who succumbs to the temptation to sin every day, is hard. Which is why Jesus came to do it for us! He was born to be our substitute under God’s holy Law, lived perfectly to be our righteousness by faith, died on the cross to forgive all the sins of all people of all time, rose victoriously from the grave so that we too might rise from the grave, and ascended in heaven with the promise that he will come back and take all believers in him to Paradise.

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    1. Thank you friend. I think you’re so right about that. Would open up some important conversations. Hugs and love xox

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  39. Such a great question! Maybe “Work of God – Still In Progress” or something like that. . .

    By the way, I’m going to be chaperoning a field trip in your little town at the end of this month! It’s a pretty packed agenda and I’ll be responsible for several young men and women, but I’ll certainly think about you and pray for you while I’m walking all over the place!

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    1. Thank you so much Heather 🙂 Love that – still in progress – yes! oh how fun!! I hope you and your group have an absolute blast! thanks for the prayers, know that you all will be in mine too! hugs xox

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    1. Thank you so much friend 🙂 I appreciate your encouragement and support. I think you’re right about that! hugs xox

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    1. Oh gosh, Laura Beth you are too kind. thank YOU for being such an awesome friend!!! hope you have a fabulous weekend. hugs xo

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  42. My response to the message in the beautiful photo above is: I will do the next right thing as soon as I know what the right thing is! I wish God would lower a billboard from the sky so I could follow instructions. The bible is not always so clear. Thanks for posting! Val

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    1. Hi Val, gosh thank you so much! haha I wish God would speak through billboards too! Divine billboards – what a concept! haha hugs xox

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  43. Shame and betrayal are the enemies of being authentic and vulnerable. We rightly fear that others would take advantage of these 10 perceptions for their own benefit and at our expense.

    Your next book could have 10 chapters. You clearly have something to say. The one that stands out for me is the aversion to confrontation. My response at one time, was to exit and close that person from my life. I did not believe that such things could be discussed or resolved.

    BTW: The story of my life before I found freedom and faith. The Knight in Rusty Armor http://hitmansystem.com/files/KnightInRustyArmor.pdf

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    1. Thank you so much Von, I really appreciate your kind words. I think you’re right about that. And gosh, you’re kind to say that! hugs xox

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  44. I have never met you in person, but love your blog and I want to say how proud I am of you. Being genuine and real about your life and your struggles in your blog has helped many people. I can’t help but think God smiles when you blog as you share how his grace has blessed you. Some day we will meet in heaven my little sister in Jesus.

    For me lately it has been more of a what now feeling after having been through so much. Sometimes I wish the Lord would just take me home, but then he shows me there is more to do here. I can so relate to what Paul wrote in Philippians 1:
    “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.”

    I am tired of the pain and struggles in this life but also know there are so many refugees to reach out to in my city and the Lord is not done with me in this life yet.

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    1. Oh my gosh I am so touched by this. Thank you so much for such generous words. I am humbled and grateful. Ah, that verse from Philippians is so powerful. thank you for sharing. hugs xo

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  45. That’s what living in a Christian community is about, right? Helping each other when we fail (#2) and shining brightly when we can (#1).

    The BBB community is such an important one thanks to your openness. It’s why I’m still here after several years now. It’s an invitation to share amongst each other and open up.

    I learned about sharing with people I don’t really know when my grandmother died. My manager at work – Tim Swiergosz – took me out after work just to give me some company. That evening was so helpful, I learned the value of talking to people outside of your situation to get perspective and comfort. It’s at least partly why professional therapists are so effective; they aren’t part of the “dance” of your inner circle.

    That’s what BBB does so well. It’s a forum for people to have that sharing free from the entanglements, the stimulus/response of the more familiar. You lead by example, and people respond to it. You benefit from it also, as I’ve watched the growth. After all, you can’t outgive whenever God is involved!

    With hugs, Jeff

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    1. Hi Jeff! Ah, yes, that is so true — that is the beauty of community for sure! And you’re right, I am so grateful for such wonderful friends on here, like you!! Wow, what a powerful memory. You’re right – it’s always so helpful and comforting to have someone to process with. thank you again 🙂 You da best! hugs to you and Julie! xox

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  47. I was really taken away by your ability to expose yourself, then without thinking about it you express where your strengths are and how you hide them. You are very much like all of us. Most are afraid to bring those things up for fear of failure. You make it so easy that there is little of no exposure. You are great the way you are and I would never think to change you.

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    1. Thank you friend. I appreciate your encouraging words. I am truly touched 🙂 Blessings to you, friend! Hugs and love xox

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  49. Beautifully written. Humanity has become a life of three-lives. Who we want to be, who we pretend to be, and the real us. There’s no need to judge yourself nor hide. Interestingly, all the things we wish upon ourselves… nobody cares. I spent a good portion of my life trying to please everyone around me and god. Losing faith was enlightening. I realized I held the power over my life and I’m better for it. “psychotherapy ends the moment we stop defending the organism for being an organism”—Alan Watts. The truth is, we’re all pretty awesome—and quirky and beautiful—slightly neurotic and gullible. So what? Love it! You seem to have a good core, but faith lets us dwell in the dichotomy of secrets. Living a double life benefits no one. Do unto others as we would have them do unto us takes on a whole new meaning when deprecating ourselves from the moments we decide to merely believe. The state of the religions begin with the premise that your no good without god. Well, it’s pretty evident where that belief has taken us.

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    1. Thank you so much Jim, for your kind words. And thank you
      For sharing your story. You’re so right about that! We’re all beautifully complex! Glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Aw thank you friend 🙂 i appreciate you kind words of encouragement. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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