Beauty Clones

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

First things first – I was absolutely blown away by the love and support following last week’s post. THANK YOU for the kind words and for passing along my post! It was shared over 300 times on Facebook, and over 100 times on Pinterest, and I’m just so grateful to have such incredible people in my life! 🙂

So I think earned a Gen Z merit badge yesterday.

No, I didn’t wear a crop top, or post my avocado toast on Instagram.

I watched YouTube.

Not like, I just fell upon a random YouTube video that I found on Facebook.

No, I actually sought out YouTube as my nightly entertainment. I chose it over Netflix.

And let me tell you: I went deep.

We’re talking sucked into the whirling vortex of YouTube content creators.

And upon my third hour of mindless make up tutorials and muckbangs, I realized something:

All women are starting to look the same.

I was watching a video by the makeup artist, Carli Bybel, and I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me…is this Kylie Jenner? Bachelorette Andi Dorfman? Kim Kardashian? Who the heck am I looking at here?

And it’s because we’re all starting to look like the same concept of conventional beauty.

The lip fillers. Eyelash extensions. Microbladed eyebrows. Spray tans. Contoured cheeks. The “mermaid-style” hair extensions. Bleached teeth.

It’s like we’re all morphing into the same vision of “beauty” that was artificially manipulated by someone in the Kardashian/Jenner camp.

And it made me really sad.

Now let me pause for just a hot second here. I am not in any way passing judgement on anyone who may like to dabble in any of the aforementioned beauty procedures.

Goodness knows that I, for one, have a slew of routines that I joyfully partake in. I mean, it takes me close to an hour to straighten my God-given curly hair, for crying out loud! Not to mention, I love having white teeth, and I enjoy putting on a full face of make up!

So this is in no way an attack on that!

But I was just struck by how everyone on YouTube looked the same!

And then I started noticing it more and more: on Instagram, in commercials, at the Grammy’s, on the Bachelor – we’re morphing into this same, highly manipulated image of “beauty.”

And, it’s really interesting, approaching this as a survivor of anorexia. Because let’s be real: my relationship with the mirror, and beauty, and body image — they have run the literal gamut.

I will be the first to admit, that I spent a long time being a slave to the mirror. And that’s putting it lightly – I mean, I almost died in my quest for perfection – and that’s not an exaggeration in the slightest. Just ask my intake nurses at inpatient: I wasn’t allowed to walk for the first two weeks of my stay – I had to be wheeled around for fear of cardiac arrest.

But that’s neither here nor there.

It is an empty and exhausting existence when you’re constantly striving to have the perfect face, perfect body, perfect hair, perfect clothes. I can promise you that no lip filler or Kybella neck lift will give you the fulfillment and self-love you’re seeking.

If only it were that easy.

How did I finally overcome the mirror and learn to love the young woman staring back at me?

I had to stop seeing myself through my own eyes, and instead, start seeing myself through God’s eyes.

Because here’s the truth: I am a beautiful, one-of-a-kind work of art, hand crafted by the Father.

But the reality is that, we live in a world that has completely forgotten that.

Our culture has commodified beauty – making it something that is always changing, always just out of reach, making us believe that we are never good enough, never pretty enough, never thin, or smooth, or sparkly, or contoured, or sexy enough. We’re never enough. How quickly we forget that it’s a beauty industry, after all.

I wish I could just slam on the emergency breaks and yell at the top of my lungs that we don’t need any of this artificial crap to make us beautiful, or worthy. Enough of the photoshop. Enough of the gimmicks.

We don’t need to change who we are or try to enhance our appearance to have value or be worthy of love.

Our worth, our value, our beauty — it’s written into our DNA. God’s fingerprints are all over us.

Sometimes I just close my eyes and imagine God taking His big, Fatherly hands and cupping my face, looking into my eyes, and saying, Caralyn, I delight in you, my beautiful daughter. 

I mean, gosh, can you imagine?

Not for how I’m wearing my hair, or how “on fleek” my makeup is. Not for any accomplishment or achievement. Not for any of those things.

He delights in me, just for being His.

Now, when I look in the mirror, that’s what I see. I have to shut off the critical eye that wants to pick apart my reflection, and see instead the beautiful creation of God who is loved and cherished, despite my flaws and shortcomings. See instead, the instrument of God, that was handcrafted to fulfill an important, divine purpose that He has planned for me.

That’s a truth that I hold firm in my heart each and every day. Because the chaos around me will say that I need X-Y-Z to be valued and beautiful.

But my worth – your worth – and our belovedness – that truth is written on the Cross.


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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

184 thoughts on “Beauty Clones”

    1. Awww thank you Michael!! I’m so glad you enjoyed it! And gosh what a kind thing to say. I think we all have the ability to be good role models for those in our lives! 😍 Hugs and love xox

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  6. I understand what you are saying. But for one moment think about this,maybe some people feel the need to look like the new standard beauty because of the way people treat people they perceive to tb ugly or less attractive. Less attractive people are treated mean and are often ignored. Check out this blog https://theseinfeldeffect.com/2018/09/22/if-beauty-is-not-important/ Somewhere in our heads we just believe pretty people people are suppose to be treated better and always given the benefit of the doubt No one cares if an ugly person’s feelings are hurt. Even the way people say the word ugly, it comes out in a snare, while the word pretty comes out in almost a melody.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Gosh, so sad. I’d like to think that people have hearts and are kind, but I think you right, that we need more compassion all the way around. hugs xox

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  8. You went and teared me up tonight, but in a good way. At 61 I feel like I’m declining almost day to day. Before bypass surgery I was doing almost 2 hours of cardio and 100 pushups a day. Maybe some weights too. Since then, well…

    I almost cringe when I see myself in a mirror, because that isn’t the guy in my head anymore. Just too many aches and pains to even think about trying to reclaim even part of that now. I sometimes wonder just how offensive I look to people.

    So your reminder tonight that God thinks I’m beautiful just because I’m me was a really nice thing to read. Hopefully, His light shines enough to overcome in spirit what is declining in body.

    By the way, I finally see my cardiologist next Wednesday and will let you know what the word is. Thank you so much for your concern and prayers!

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    1. Oh Jeff, thank you so much for sharing your heart. All I know is that your spirit and heart make you who you are. His light absolutely shines through you! And that’s such good news. You’ve been in my prayers. Yes – please please keep me posted! Hugs and love xox

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  9. Self-love all the way! 🙂 The great news is: slowly, inner beauty seems to be making a come back. (Largely thanks to people who fly the flag for it so beautifully, like you. 🙂 xx)

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  10. In the words of Fred Rogers…”I like you just the way you are.” A phrase that is all too foreign in our lexicon today. Great post!!

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  13. You would enjoy my daughter, who does makeup videos, among other stuff. Her YouTube channel is Buff Blonde. Her name is Leighton and she is a crazy fun girl. Look her up. She looks nothing like a Kardashian. 😜

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  14. This is a great post my friend! I think insecurities and society is responsible for this trying to look perfect craze! It is indeed very sad. Growing up l, I watched my mother get ready for church or wherever she was going and she would look at herself in the mirror and say, “My God I’m gorgeous!” Lol, she was so confident and she had so much self esteem and she instilled those same thoughts into us. My Mother wasn’t tall and slim and she’s dark skinned. Not what is considered conventional beauty in America but no one could tell her she wasn’t. She’s still the same way. If I had half of her confidence there’s no telling where I would be! But I’m getting there! Thank you for this blog!

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    1. Hey Lane!, aw thank you so much 🙂 oh my gosh i love your mom!!!!!!! we need to take a page from her book!! this made me smile 🙂 big hugs xox

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  16. Hey Caralyn, Beautiful creation of God,

    Genesis 2:22-23
    22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
    23 The man said,
    “This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
    she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man. ”

    You are a Beautiful woman of God re-created in Christ,

    2 Corinthians 5:17
    17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

    You are a Beautiful Daughter of God, Inspired by the indwelling Holy Spirit.

    John 14:26
    26 But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

    You are an amazing example of a Christian Woman, Caralyn, a testimony of a Christ follower in life and in business, who is a testimony and mentor to many young people and young Christians.

    God Bless you,
    Luv, 😀❤️🌹😘

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    1. oh wow, George, this touched my heart so much. Thank you so much for sharing these powerful verses with me. it is always so wonderful to hear the words of the Father 🙂 grateful for you and your big heart! hugs oxx

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  17. A couple months back my little one broke the mirror and I became so thankful. I was realizing I started to look too much at what the mirror said about me than what God said about me. I’ve been doing better with weight loss since throwing out the scale and full length mirror. Do you mind if I share one of the graphics and this post from my FB page this week?

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    1. Hi Shell, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story. Oh gosh, I would be so honored if you shared a graphic. Hear me cheering for you from NYC 🙂 You are amazing, and God says to too! 🙂 hugs oxx

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      3. I’ll share with you when I post it. I shared a link in the blog I’m writing that expanded on how I feel about the post as the mother of an 11-year-old, as this post hit me in some ways as both a female and as a mother.

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    1. You’re so right!! thank you, friend. it’s true – we’ve got to see ourselves as the magnificent handiwork of the Father 🙂 hugs xo

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  22. Hi… I really enjoy reading your posts… they r soo fun, informative & thought provoking…. also anyone from any part of the world can relate to your messages… Thank you !! 😊

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  23. When I was a young girl, I constantly struggled with the ” image” in the mirror. I was socially awkward and never knew that being like, or looking like other girls, wasn’t supposed to be MY NORMAL!.. It took me decades literally to figure out that my normal…is good enough, smart enough, and just enough…for God. Caralyn , we are sisters at heart… And I’m a “dark blonde” which means there is intelligence that isn’t Artificial, and there is a depth that only God plumbs.

    God bless you sweet Caralyn! 🌹💜💜💜

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    1. HI Terrelyn, thank you so much for sharing your heart. I think we’re sisters too!!! yes! only God knows 🙂 big big hugs to you, my dear, sweet friend! xox

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  24. Every decade seems to have its own standard of beauty/attractiveness that everyone tries to follow but whereas the standards in the past seemed more natural, the ones today seem artificial, if that makes sense.

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    1. thanks so much Nathan, for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, i think you’re right about that – it feels more artificial for sure! hugs xox

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  25. Beauty is industry. To retailers, it’s important for people to feel ugly because then compulsion to purchase products will be at an all time high. A need is created, which leads to a purchase. Our insecurities are manipulated and it goes past wanting to look nice to seeking validation.

    Where is seeking wisdom ranked in all of this? Kicked to the curb. Kindness and virtue don’t make CEO’s rich, so that never get’s talked about…unless your a prosperity preacher.

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  26. Young Lady, I’m blown away by your blog. This is beautiful. Thank you sister. This blogging is new to me most of time I am scare mainly because I don’t know where God is taking it. You inspire me. May God lift you higher and higher than you can ever imagine.

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  29. This is exactly what God has been teaching me lately! He loves and accepts me no matter what I look like, how much I have it all together, what mistakes I make and even when I sin against him, because Jesus took all of that on himself so the Father could always welcome me back to himself with open arms. I am permanently lovable in his sight.

    I’ve just recently finished a short but excellent book on this point. It’s called “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness” by Timothy Keller, and in only three chapters, he breaks down the passage in (Second?) Corinthians where Paul talks about not caring about others’ judgment but also not judging himself, because God is the only one who should judge us. Keller goes through how trying to live up to the standards of others or ourselves is doomed to fail, but because God has accepted us in Christ, we’re no longer “in the courtroom” every day trying to prove that we’re successful/acceptable/lovable – our identity has been determined in Christ, and there’s nothing we can do to change it.

    Anyway, learning (and still learning!) this truth has been a big help to me as I just spent almost nine months unemployed, and I had to realize how much I believed my identity was in whatever I was doing at a particular moment, when there’s so much freedom and security in the identity God has already given me. That’s kind of what I’m starting to write about honestly in my newest blog (the “honestly” part is the stretching part for sure), and I’m still seeking to keep that perspective at the new job God gave me at the beginning of the month. So, thank you for the encouraging post! It was exactly what I needed to be reminded of tonight.

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    1. Hi Kristina! Amen to that! He loves us so much, and we see that on the cross! Oh awesome – I’ll definitely have to check that book out! Thanks for the recco! Hugs and love xox

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  31. Though I agree that there is a steriotypical look that is being pushed through the media with this generation, I don’t think it’s the same for black women especially; for the first time in years we are becoming more comfortable in our own shade of skin and our natural hair type. 5 years ago being natural was “crazy” and unprofessional but now it’s grown into a movement. We’re even embracing our curves better because now its okay to have curves. The fuller lips and features that are now considered beauty have always been there naturally for a lot of women, they just weren’t told they were beautiful before it was popularised.
    That’s why the standard of beauty should always be God’s image…

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    1. Thanks Esther for sharing your thoughts on this. I think that’s so awesome 🙌🏼 amen – God’s image!! Hugs and love xox

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  32. Great post Caralyn… I could go on for hours about the way how our perceptions of beauty is so slurred and distorted that many times we ignore the natural beauty of someone…

    I will concede that there is one form of beauty that has remained appealing and unchanged for decades – and that’s the Victoria’s Secret Look. But even too this has its drawbacks. There was a period when Girls get so bent out of shape trying to achieve those figures – putting themselves into serious health issues. I guess you would know more about that anyone else I know.
    Most of us who judge that industry forget to realize that many times those women are naturally born that way and do intensive workout regiments to maintain such figures. I should know.. I’m friends with a couple of glamor models. All of this takes time and money.. which they have.

    The rest of us have our daily lives to deal with.. Many times more stressful than a broken nail (if you get what I mean). Our diets consist unhealthy stuff and we forget that eating right doesn’t cost a fortune and most of time, we’re stuck in a cycle of eating “comfort food”.
    If you’re disciplined and determined enough, anyone can achieve similar figures. But let’s be honest, we talk a big game, most of the time make excuses shouting “Sour Grapes”..

    I completely agree with regards to the way the Kardashian look has taken over. The large round butts and the puffy lips. No… I’ve seen people completely ruin their faces with those procedures – even if its just a lip injection and done only one. Its awful. Why would anyone want to look like fish?
    Everyone is starting to look the same and that’s not what God intended.
    The bible says that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. I firmly believe that most of us are born with a certain degree of natural beauty; probably even with the potential of Victoria’s Secret level. Our differences in cultures, circumstances, dietary habits, etc., can cause us to either lose or retain that beauty.
    To go to the level of surgery to change your looks is a real drastic step, even more so when you’re trying to improve on what clearly perfection.

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      1. It is a truth that most of us forget, especially when most of us look in the mirror. We aspire to become reflections of others; when we should be aspiring to be our own.
        There’s such a double standard in the society we live in, where we tell people that they should be themselves and embrace their individuality, but then we judge those that do.
        It’s no wonder that in the sense of beauty, everyone is aspiring to look the same. Because rather than risk ridicule, we’d be happy following the crowd.

        God made us.. Fearfully and Wonderfully. I keep thinking, if we’re talking about beauty and our appearance, if we were to look at baby nursery in a hospital, every girl in there has the potential of becoming the next Victoria Secret Angel. Every boy, his own version of Brad Pitt, David Beckham, etc. God gives us that… And we were there at that point in our lives once.. What we look like today is merely the reflection of what happened after. Our lives and choices have shaped us. We can get back our potential. It is never too late, but there is one good thing to remember, some things can’t be changed and to go through surgery to do that, means you’re tell God, “What you did wasn’t Good enough”…
        I used to be that person when I looked in the mirror and have those thoughts. I don’t anymore… And it makes me sad seeing so many extremely beautiful women do the same…

        God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
        courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
        – Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

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    1. Hi Rhodarr! Thank you so much, gosh what a kind thing to say. And I’m so glad this resonated with you! Big big hugs xox

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  34. Caralyn, such a powerful post! We agree, all you need is the spirit within yourself to find the true beauty.
    Your post reminds us of our poem, “You don’t fit in” definitely themed on self acceptance.

    Thanks for sharing, keep up the good work!

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  35. Despite all the arguments, disputes and protest the fashion and beauty industry doesn’t get it. The model (man or woman) is the blank canvas on which to display their art and it to them it needs to be standard and lifeless.
    Hope you’re well :-0

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    1. Thanks Simon. I think you’re so right – they simply see the models as “hangers” to display their clothes. It’s so sad. Hugs and love xox

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  36. I left esthetics due to much of this. Having clients demand I make them younger or have a better nose made me realize I didn’t. . .. couldn’t be a part of the industry anymore. The shift from relaxation and health to perfectionism is really obvious right now.

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  38. Perhaps if you stepped away from the mirror, YouTube and all the other channels that give you the impression that all women look alike–and actually spend some time with ordinary people who don’t spend an hour straightening our hair or whitening our teeth–you would see the real world is much more diversified and more beautiful than the image created by the cosmetics and entertainment industries. An hour every day reading with a child in a underfunded school would be much more profitable in the long run. Just my thoughts on pop culture and the waste of time it is.

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  39. Thank you for writing this! It’s something I think about often and plan to write about in the future. It’s so sad to me how many young women have cosmetic surgery done. I wish I could convince them they don’t need it! Btw, I also used to spend an hour straightening my naturally curly hair… now I love my curly hair and couldn’t imagine straightening, partially out of laziness and mainly because God wanted me to look this way 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Terese. I think you’re so right. I was reading about the dramatic rise in teenage plastic surgery. It is so sad. And great tip on the hair 🙂 To be completely honest – a large ready I DO straighten mine is out of laziness! Haha sure it’s an hour up front, but it means I don’t have to wash my hair every single day like I do when I wear it curly! Haha but you’ve inspired me to give the curls another shot because you’re right – they’re how God made me! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Haha I totally understand the laziness of washing hair, believe me! I actually figured out how to go up to a week without washing while leaving it curly. But in order to have the fresh curls, washing frequently is necessary. Haha oh the complexities of women’s hair 🙂

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  41. This is SO beautifully written, and so needed. 💗 Jesus is working through you to encourage women to see their worth through HIM! Despite culture preaching worth from the mirror and status, you’re speaking truth into the heart of every woman who reads this. Keep on preaching sister!

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  42. “When I see your face
    There’s not a thing that I would change ’cause you’re amazing
    Just the way you are
    And when you smile
    The whole world stops and stares for a while
    ‘Cause girl you’re amazing
    Just the way you are
    Yeah” ~Bruno Mars

    “I said I love you and that’s forever
    And this I promise from the heart
    I could not love you any better
    I love you just the way you are” ~Billy Joel

    Both are titled “Just The Way You Are,” and that’s fitting. Hugs!

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  43. “Our culture has commodified beauty – making it something that is always changing, always just out of reach, making us believe that we are never good enough, never pretty enough, never thin, or smooth, or sparkly, or contoured, or sexy enough. We’re never enough. How quickly we forget that it’s a beauty industry, after all.”

    This is exactly it, and the psychological manipulation is abhorrent. Once you’re clued to it, you’ll see it everywhere in advertising. Their product is Unhappiness (yes, a proper noun), and most people are all too willing to buy it.

    The Unhappiness Hamster Wheel of modern consumerism is appalling. Contentment is frowned on, planned obsolescence is the name of the game. It’s sad.

    Hopefully your observations will resonate with enough people to effect some change.

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    1. Thank you so much Matt. i think you’re right – a hamster wheel is exactly what it is. glad you stopped by! hugs xox

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    1. Thank you so much!!! oh good, i’m so glad it resonated with you! I look forward to reading your article! 🙂 hugs xo

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  46. You mentioned being God’s work of art. I had a 3 year old tell me, “We are all God’s masterpiece.” It was so precious to hear it coming from that little guy!

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    1. oh my gosh that is the most precious thing!! what a smart little guy! thanks for sharing that, Lori! big hugs to you xo

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  47. Thank you for writing this. 😊🌻 the way we should look is so ingrained into our society, it’s scary! Thank you for writing this and giving me encouragement about what beauty truly is; not from the world and what they can give….but from God and what He already tells us. That we are beautiful and fearfully and wonderfully made. Thanks 💛 this was an encouragement to my soul

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    1. Hi Hannah, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this! YOu’re so right! fearfully and wonderfully made! so glad this resonated with you 🙂 big hugs x

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  48. this is exactly how I feel scrolling through social media! Do you remember the craze about 10 years challenge? that was exactly the time when I was thinking that this culture creates an idealized image of beauty everyone has to follow! There is no personality left in these plastic surgeries. I’m not against people who do plastic surgery when it’s really needed, but I think it’s just stupid to follow the trend. I had so many insecurities as I was growing up, and again maybe even now, when I don’t look my best, and these “trends” make it so hard to love ourselves.

    Anyways, cheers to like-minded people. Maybe it’s up to us to change the world? 😉

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    1. Thank you so much Farah. I know! Where’s the personality and the individuality?! Yes, girl! Let’s change the world! I like your thinking!! Haha Hugs and love xox

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  49. Thank you for writing this! This is so true, I was just thinking about this as I was noticing how my daughter who is 13 is getting sucked into this. I’ll admit some of it is fun but fun can be a dangerous ride. I just keep reminding her that we are called to be set apart. Great post!

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    1. Hi Savanna, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this important topic. So true! Called to be set apart! Amen! Hugs and love xox

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  50. Your post reminded me of a Bible verse I like to dwell on. “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I think you captured the thought in your post very well. 🙂

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