OK First things first: I was blown away by your kind words on Monday’s post about getting stood up twice. So, thank you for just being amazing humans.
As a little follow up on that: I did go out on a lovely date last night. 🙂 And let me just say…chivalry ain’t dead! (New Zealand gentlemen…Now they know how to treat a lady!)
Next, another BIG thank you for 42,000 subscribers! I’m very grateful for the little community we have here. 🙂 I had no idea, when I started this blog, four years ago now, that it would become such a meaningful extension of my heart. It really has allowed me to grow and bloom into the young woman I am today, and so I just wanted to take a second to thank you for coming on that journey with me.
So, as you probably have heard this week, a huge college admissions scandal has come to light, surrounding none other than “Aunt Becky” from Full House: Lori Loughlin, and Desperate Housewives star: Felicity Huffman.
Aunt Becky, and her husband – Mossimo Giannulli (yes, that Mossimo of Target fame) – allegedlypaid north of $500,000 dollars for their two daughters to be admitted to USC under the pretense of a rowing scholarship – even though neither are on the crew team.
And blah, blah, blah — bribes, faked SAT scores, donations — I don’t know about you, but WERE YOU EVEN SURPRISED?
Because, I for one, was not.
I mean, of course there were under the table deals. Maybe I’ve been so jaded in the acting business, where the entire industry has been built upon nepotism and other “favors” — monetarily or…use your imagination — but like…duh.
I just am not the least bit surprised to learn about these bribes coming to light. Maybe that’s a little Negative Nancy of me, but hey…the world is not a meritocracy, and as I’ve learned…nothing is free.
And if I sound a little bitter and harsh, well…I’ve been acting since I was 5 and have certainly seen a thing or two. Roles awarded to the niece or nephew of so-and-so, studio “darlings” getting roles without even auditioning. And to be honest, I’ve been on both sides of the line in these scenarios. Are they fair? No, but that’s just how the world operates, whether we like it or not.
But I think it is quite interesting that this is coming to light during Lent. Because, honestly, there’s really only one equalizer in this world. And other than taxes, it’s death.
And if that seems morbid…well, just hear me out.
As I’ve grown in my faith, it has really put my entire life into perspective. The anorexia in my past, the time lost to my ulcerative colitis, the obstacles and trials endured — in the grand scheme of things — they’re all just blips on the radar. This time we have here on earth is a mere flash in the pan when we consider the magnitude of eternity.
But we are all given one life, and with it, we can either live in such a way that will get us to Heaven, or get us to Hell.
And let me just pause here to say: I am in no way saying that Aunt Becky is going to Hell! — That’s not what I’m even hinting at! She made a mistake! One that any parent with that kind of expendable income could make.
What I am saying is that…whether we are someone who has that expendable income or not, or whether or not we have won the birth lottery, or have fame and fortune, or if we’re brilliant, or athletically gifted, or come from royalty, you name it…death is the great equalizer. No one can escape it.
So how fitting then, that this is coming to light during Lent, when we are literally preparing for the death of the One Man who is going to level the playing field, and make it so that we all can be admitted to Heaven.
We’re not going to have to bribe any admissions officer, or fake a position on the crew team. Our admission is guaranteed, all because of the Cross.
And when you live life, knowing that, and living from that truth, it really just puts everything into perspective. How am I going to live my life, so that it brings honor and gratitude to what He did for me? How can I be His hands and feet to those around me?
And further to that, focusing on the prestige of being in an Ivy League school, feeling that is most important for your kids, really misses the point that what is truly most important is the “eternal prestige” of being pleasing to God through our behavior and who we become as people.
Because the world isn’t fair. It proves that time and time and time again. From the batting order of your little league softball team, to college admissions, to promotions at work, to Capitol Hill. There’s always a little more to the story.
This Lent, let’s reflect on and praise Him for opening the door wide, so that no matter our status or history, we can all get admitted to Heaven.
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130 responses to “Aunt Becky’s Busted – Admissions Scandal”
Maybe I am a bit jaded too because it doesn’t surprise me wealthy people use it to give their kids an advantage unfair ones even. It is sad for the kids involved because they will live with a sense of entitlement.
So true Jesus’s death on the cross is the great equalizer. Anyone who wants God’s forgiveness can only receive through Jesus rich or poor
Yeah that’s a great point about the kids. It’s sad. Amen to that! Jesus for one and all!! Hugs and love xox
Thanks for stopping by 💛
Happy for the good date! Now on about Aunt Becky. What she and the others did isn’t nearly as offensive as the actions and pious postures of those with the DOJ and FBI. College admissions has never been fair or based on apple to apples. Campuses control the look of their student bodies, and money is often a big part of that appearance. Now, on the other hand, if it takes millions of bucks to get your kid into USC, then what are that kid’s chances of actually passing their courses. Getting in is one thing. Staying in is another. If their folks think that dollars for degrees guarantees kiddo’s success, then they are as dopey as Kimmy Gibbler.
Best to you & God bless,
Thanks so much Scott! You bring up so many great points here. It just makes me so mad to think about the kid who really works their tail off to get in, only to get rejected to make room for the rich guy’s kid who didn’t earn the spot. Love the Gibbler line 😂 Hugs and love xox
Your writing never ceases to amaze! It is a gritty authentic and yet beautiful image of life. Whatever you do, Never lose that perspective. Keep the faith… I Know you love your life! Be well.
Thanks Michael!! I really appreciate you saying that. You be well too! 💛 Hugs and love xox
Thank you so much, friend. Hugs and love xox
There is a reason why Jesus said it’s hard for the rich to get to heaven. (Luke 18)
Thanks Jay, you’re absolutely right about that! Hugs and love xox
I caught my own cynicism last night and began praying for all involved. I know my own brokenness and sin pattern to well to wallow in a judgmental attitude towards someone else. Remembering the grace I have been shown and as you said, celebrating the “but God” in all of our lives.
That is so beautiful, thank you for reminding me to do just that, Karisa. The world needs prayers for sure! But God!!!!! Hugs and love xox
Wanted to ask your help on a project if you would be interested.
Feel free to email me! Beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com!
Well done. Nice transition. My guess is that the woman in question has not and will never learn from her mistake. She probably does not have any shame. Our society is afraid of shame, though to feel it can be a useful lesson. From my experience, speaking as a man, be careful with New Zealanders and Aussies. Some from the old school are less respectful to their women once they marry. I’d strike these last two lines or I’ll get hate mail. I have met a lot of nice New Zealanders and Aussies. I said, “Some.”
Thanks Sandman. I sure hope she does end up learning from this 🙂 haha thanks! Hugs and love xox
When I heard about the cheating scandal, it made me feel bad for those kids. Sure they got into this or that prestigious school, but it was not through their own efforts. It’s an empty victory.
If those kids don’t develop a super entitled mentality as they grow up, they will have definite self esteem issues. Because their parents didn’t think that they were good enough or smart enough to do it on their own.
Just… 🙁 So much 🙁
Yeah I feel bad for the kids too. I didn’t put this in the article, but one of her daughters has a YouTube channel and has said in past videos that she’s only at college for the “game days and parties” and that she “doesn’t even like school.” Makes me sad. Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love back at ya! 😀
I completely agree with you ambroseandelsie. Those kids may not think about it now but later on down the road it will hit them that their parents didn’t think they were good enough to get into these schools on their own and that is awful. If I were one of those kids which honestly I’m glad that I’m not I would hate myself because I would feel that my parents didn’t think that I was good enough. What kind of a ife is that for anyone?
So true. And what are the parents going to tell their kids? What reason can they give them that won’t boil down to “We did it because we could”, which the kids will still hear as “because you couldn’t.”?
Okay, I’ll just chalk it up to the adage “Great minds think alike.” You said early in your post, “chivalry ain’t dead!” Just today, I wrote my blog post for tomorrow, which I titled “Chivalry Still Lives!” 🙂 Yep–great minds think alike! (My blog post isn’t about being stood up, but it is about chivalry.)
Hooray!!! Can’t wait to read it! Hugs and love xox
I was surprised to hear about this whole scandal the other day and honestly, I don’t know too much and not sure if I want to. What are these parents really teaching their kids? I am trying not to judge but I honestly feel bad for those kids. Not only are they seeing and being taught that deceit or lying and having notoriety and tons of money are the only way to get ahead, they are missing out on God; well, i think that they are. I just hate seeing kids not learning and being taught, not feeling what is truly important. Hopefully, this incident will set an example to others who feel that power and money are the only ways to get ahead will see that even they are not above the law. I know it sounds a bit naive but I can hope.
God bless you, Caralyn.
Thank you so much, yeah it is just so sad. I certainly am right there hoping with you!! And it makes me feel for the kid worked their tail off to get into their dream school, only to be rejected to make room for a “money spot.” So sad. Hi
Exactly. I could sit here and say over and over again how unfair it is when people get overlooked for a job, career, school, etc.. because of who they are not or because they don’t live on such and such street but I have learned that it does nothing to make me feel better. So I complain for a moment or two or three lol, and then move on.
Thank you for always being a voice in this crazy world.
That’s such a great way to look at it. Complain for just a minute and then onto bigger and better things that appreciate YOU!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Beautiful post about grace. I love your heart. And New Zealand, huh? Wistful sigh. Is there a second date?
Thank you so much Melissa 🙂 haha there is!! 😎 Hugs and love xox
Yay! Praying for the right guy who is worthy of your amazing love.
Awwww thank you!!! I am seriously so touched by that. So very much appreciated! 💛
Amen sister, well said! Glad you had a good time with Mr. New Zealand too. I’ve always wanted to visit that country. You were right to move on from that clueless dude. 🙂 God bless!
Thank you Ryan!! Yeah totally – goodbye Mr. Clueless!! Haha Hugs and love xox
Glad you had a nice time last night! And I agree, NOT SURPRISED at all about this scandal. I was like, uh, that’s what rich people do, they use their riches to help their kids. YES, in this case, they went to far and they got caught but how many others didn’t? Let’s not be naive about class privilege. That said, I’d rather be poor in America than a socialist in Venezuela or any other country!
Thanks 🙂 yeah sadly it wasn’t surprising! Amen to that! Hugs and love xox
When the CNN story went up about the scandal, I thought of your blog because of your fondness for that sitcom. My brother and I watched that when we were kids.
You say a lot in this post, but what you’ve put together for this is resonant. Some of the details you posted were news to me. You helped me understand what happened in the scandal.
Congratulations as well on making it to 42,000. There’s no way that is easy to do.
I am a little reluctant to admit that this week I tweeted a link to a Lenten post I wrote three years ago, after doing a new update. Wouldn’t you know I literally lost fifty Twitter followers, almost immediately? That said, I don’t think it’s time to put my head in the sand.
Keep your eyes open, BBB, because you do interesting work.
Thanks Odell, I definitely liked me some Full House back in the day! Thank you so much. Oh no, I’m sorry that happened to you about Twitter. What I always say is that, you should write from your heart, and if people unfollow you, it will just lead you to the people who really do value what you have to say. Aint got time for no haters!!! 😉 hugs xo
This is a great connection. As a Christ follower who has worked in higher education for awhile, the admissions scandal does not surprise me, for most of the same reasons as you noted. I appreciate how you connect everything back to Jesus. As for the title, I get busted on a regular basis, mine just aren’t on national news. Great post as always.
Thank you so much Peggy!! Haha me too – regular buster here! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
It’s a very Biblical perspective, to remember death
An interesting topic…
I think you’re right about that. Thanks David
Thanks for sharing!
Ephesians 2:8-9 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
Thanks friend. Love that verse! Hugs and love xox
Glad to hear you’ve met a gentleman, and hope that you will meet the love of your life as I have in mine.
It’s true, the world runs on who, rather than what you know. Connection takes you places. But, the short cuts will eventually meet a detour. That’s life.
I don’t pay too much mind on the news reporting on cases like the recent celebrity colledge scam. The hype the media has created is tempting to make me pass judgement on another fellow human-being in thinking I am better. Being overly ctitical of other peoples’ affairs is troubling. So, I don’t like to go there.
Celebriies caught in the act are mothers, and they did what any responsible mother would do in their given capacity to provide the best for their children. Who are we to judge them on the moral platform? It’s complicated. Afterall, the colledge could put the money to good use that benefits all students and teachers.
I believe the idea of heaven, and hell lies in the conscience. We are beings of conscience. There is no way by force to free ourselves from this invisible bind that God has installed into his grand design for humanity. We need to pay our “dues” for freedom. Where death will eventually take us, is a “place” only as good as our conscience that we have prepared ourselves for. That is why we pass judgement only upon ourselves.
Thank you David! You’re right about that – it’s always about who you know. So true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Hugs and love xox
I’m glad things turned around for you. Keep us posted on Mr. New Zealand because 42,000 plus subscribers are keeping up with you like a soap opera. He better be a Jesus-loving man. If He loves Jesus right, He will love you right.
Thanks so much Matthew! Haha oh gosh – it was just a first date, but he was definitely nice and I’ll keep you posted! ☺️ thanks for being so awesome! Much love xox
Very well said. Thank you for truly putting this in perspective.
Thank you Amy, I appreciate you taking the time to read! 💛 Hugs and love xox
[…] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/03/14/aunt-beckys-busted-admissions-scandal/ […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Love you, as always. Reading your heart always makes me smile.XO😄❤
Thanks Tonya, you’re the best 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Hey Caralyn: your beauty continues to shine, outwardly as bright as inwardly, and Wisdom shines through you, as you allow, and ask God to shine within.
I know our Heavenly Father smiles with each post when you mention His Son, our Saviour, Jesus, the Christ, Messiah.
As you express the Gospel, of Jesus coming to earth to die in our place, to pay for the sin of each human who ever lived. AND THEN, His Resurrection, to give us victory in life. Following His return to Heaven, the Spirit of God came to earth to draw people to believe in Jesus, and dwell in each who does.
The amazing part is, all WE have to do is admit we are sinners, repent, asking Jesus to forgive us. How easy is that. Then His Spirit guides us.
By that decision, we are guaranteed eternity in Heaven with our Father, Lord Jesus, and Holy Spirit, rather than an eternity in hell.
And Caralyn, you are so gifted as you share so well and so consistently.
Never change, because you are a great blessing.
God Bless you Abundantly,
Hi George, thank you so much for your thoughtful response. Gosh, what a kind thing to say. And amen to that – He gives us victory in life!! That really is worthy of a hallelujah! 🙂 so glad you stopped by! Thanks for this wonderful response! Hugs and love xox
What a beautiful post Caralyn! Thank you. And I’m so glad your date went well! Thank You God! Have Mom and Dad met Mr. New Zealnd yet?
Thank you so much! And you’re kind to say that! Haha no definitely not yet! I only met him for the first time last night! Hehe but he was a nice guy! Thanks so much for being in my corner! 🤗🤗🤗🤗 Hugs and love xox
Ok keep us posted! Blessings!
Will do! 🙂
I love how you relate it to Jesus & Lent 🙏🏼
Aw thank you Lisa, I appreciate that! Hugs and love xox
Definitely not surprised by this either. I mean, was I expecting this to come out now? No. Do I think about these kinds of things. No. But when I heard it I was just like, “meh. I’m sure it’s been happening for decades”. I mean I’m glad it came to light and maybe this kind of thing stops now. I just hate to think of the students who WERE qualified to attend these colleges that maybe didn’t make the cut.
Thanks friend, yeah it makes me sad to think about those qualified kids that worked their tails off only to get cut too. So sad. Hugs and love xox
A great post. Beautiful perspective.
Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox
Same here beloved sister
I read it. The whole thing. To not would be robbing myself of your unique and tempered wisdom. One part though-“What I am saying is that…whether we are someone who has that expendable income or not, or whether or not we have won the birth lottery, or have fame and fortune, or if we’re brilliant, or athletically gifted, or come from royalty, you name it…death is the great equalizer. No one can escape it.”
It would take too long to explain why, but it was the right words at the right moment. I thank you sweet girl and I’m glad for your happy date. Love will be yours soon!
Thank you Slogo, I’m glad it resonated with you! Hugs and love xox
Awesome post. I don’t think anyone is actually surprised. I know a lot of the people faking surprise for ratings may just be embarrassed as the schools mentioned is a who’s who list of schools those reporters come from.
One thing I was surprised about was the bribing testing center stuff. Kinda wondering what mickey mouse operation these schools are running to have that happen without being discovered by automated systems. (If you want more information on that contact me, but it sounds like you are rightfully not concerned with the details on this lol).
Thank you so much, friend. Yeah that’s a great question! Hugs and love xox
Such a great post! Thanks for sharing your heart and faith!
Lovely post, Caralyn, thank you. Also, glad to hear of your happy date. 🙂
Thank you so much Hannah! Aw, yeah it was fun! Hugs and love xox
Anthony Hopkins as Richard in the Lion in Winter said, “I never heard a corpse complain of how it got so cold.”
Death is indeed the great equalizer. Whether the journey is long, short, comfortable, or painful all roads lead to the grave. Having been close to death more than once, I can say it isn’t the dying that scares me as much as the “how.” How much will it hurt?
Reading through the Old Testament I realized that all of the prophets from Isaiah to Malachi were prophets of Babylon, whether of Israel’s coming Israel’s coming punishment or leading them through it or guiding the rebuilding of Jerusalem. Their messages were all the same; repent of your sins. You will go through trial on earth, but…God will give you the ultimate victory.
And there are my random thoughts for today! Much love to you and yours!
Thank you Jeff for sharing that powerful perspective. I’m with you on that – the how and leaving loved one is what scares me. Wow – that’s so interesting about Babylon. Amen- Uktimate victory! Hugs and love xox
Firstly I want to say it’s bad you were stood up, but I hope this turns into a blessing as they lost out. But as for this scandal… it’s such a shame because this de-values the efforts put in by those that work hard to get what they are awarded as everyone get painted with the same brush, but like you I agree it’s how the world works and it stinks. As long as money is at the front of how society works this won’t change.
Have a great weeknd xx
Thank you Simon, I totally agree!! Hugs and love xox
Hugs and love to you too xx
Thank you friend! Hugs and love xox
Very well put. Thank you for speaking out.
Thank you Susan! Hugs and love xox
Hooray for a successful date!! I’m jumping for joy for you. And, I’m with you, chivalry is not dead. It’s very attractive to me – Yet another reason why I fell in love with Al!
Ha. I was originally surprised at this scandal, and then Al scoffs and says, “I’m not. Stuff like this has been happening for years.” In this case, time will tell. And I’m pretty sure some things will start to change. I hope so, anyway.
thank you so much Laura Beth! Awww, thanks for sharing in the joy with me 🙂 I agree! Bring on the chivalry! haha I hope so too. hugs xox
Yes. Yes. Yes. There is freedom in the truth that is “…but God.” Those bribes and acts nepotism bind us to a lifetime of guilt and regret… until the truth sets us free. I suppose that’s why it’s so hard to make it in the artistic world on the simplicity of talent and hard work. Great post and great writing. I still love “Aunt Becky.”
Thank you so much TS! But God indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! hugs xo
In the UAE in order to operate a company, you need to have a local sponsor. As a result, there are many local Emiratis sponsoring companies of various degrees of success and taking sizable chunks of the profits for doing absolutely nothing.
It’s amazing to see the children of such families and way they behave. They walk around with such a sense of entitlement, that a tiny kid about 15 years old will boss around a complete stranger just because said stranger works for his father’s company.
There are lessons to be learned here, both good and bad.
The bad – it surely appears that the kids believe that just by being someone’s child, they have a sense of being better than everyone else and as such nothing should be impossible for them. Life should be easy because their parents have done the hard work. They don’t need to struggle through life.
Yes, every parent desires to give a better life for their children. Their hope is that their children should never have the struggles they had. I will admit. I desire this too for my future would be offspring.
However parents should focus on teaching their children the value of the hard earned dollar and nothing worthwhile in this life comes easy.
So what’s the good lesson?
Remember the attitude of the children?
They believe that they should be treated differently because whom they are and that all the hard work has been done by their parents. Therefore success should be theirs easily.
Think about the season we are in. Being Christian, we are the children of God. Therefore we should be feel ourselves privileged that the work on the cross, for healing, salvation, deliverance, all is ours for the taking because of what Christ & our Father in Heaven had done. We should learn to walk in it and accept it as our right.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Lots of interesting points here. Amen – we are the children of God! hugs x
When I saw Lori Loughlin was involved, it caught me by surprise. For some, I guess it’s hard to separate the role from the actor. I’ve watched her in Hallmark Christmas movies as well as “When Calls the Heart” and her character is seen as good and kind and wholesome. You wouldn’t picture someone who plays that role to do something like this but, as we’ve seen, sometimes the covers is a lot different than what’s inside the book.
On another note, I sympathize with you on getting stood up twice. The right guy will come along. You’re a strong and beautiful woman. He’s out there. 🙂
Hi Joe! You’re so right about that – separating the actor from the roles. So true. Thanks for your encouragement!! really means a lot 🙂 hugs xo
I was not surprised by this at all.
I don’t know how her daughter feels or what she thinks of all this, but as an outsider looking in-I feel sad for all the daughter, money can buy you anything but can it buy you faith in ur children to achieve their potential and purpose?
Thanks Sharon, yeah it’s a tough situation all the way around. In terms of the daughters, one of them has a YouTube channel with over a million subscribers. And she has been creating videos since she’s been at college. And in them, she actually comes out and says that she’s not “really interested” in school, and that she’s just there to experience the “game days and parties.” So…just gotta throw my hands up and walk away at that point. Crazy. And the videos are still up, you can listen to her say those remarks, straight from the horse’s mouth. hugs x
What a wonderful way to write about Lent and Jesus’ gift of life for all. Blessings!
thank you so much friend, i appreciate your kind words. hugs xox
[…] post was inspired by this well-written blog post and this AP […]
Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Love this! Jesus really is the great equalizer 💛 I actually also wrote about this topic in my post today. I’d love if you read it and shared your thoughts! 👉🏻 https://theindoorkat.com/2019/03/15/the-truth-about-why-i-took-a-break/
Thanks for sharing you heart, BBB. Your posts are such an encouragement to me!
Thanks Kat! I appreciate that. I’ll definitely check it out! Hugs and love xox
As always an interesting blog post. Liked your focus on the eternal viewpoint and the cross.
Thanks so much Joe 🙂 Hugs and love xox
It is interesting that you mention Lent in relation to this, since I doubt too many people have thought of that. But, yes, this season reminds us that we are all equal in God’s eyes, and even though the world may favor the rich and famous, He doesn’t.
Hi Michael, thank you so much. Amen! Equal in His eyes! Hugs and love xox
SO so good, as always! <3
Thank you friend 🙂 Hugs and love xox
I do feel compelled to pray for those celebrity and wealthy parents caught in the net, however. Praying that they won’t, on the one hand, take the heat bigger perps deserve, simply because they’re more visible. And, on the other hand, they learn and grow from this (along with their kids), rather than simply turn bitter and defensive.
I love how you’ve framed this situation and, instead of promoting endless gossiping about the latest news, you’ve found a way to make them point to God.
Maybe the rich can buy a degree in our world today, even from the best of universities it seems. But we can’t buy our way into heaven. It’s a free gift! But that fee gift is only handed out to those who are humble not opiniated and have the same characteristics as Jesus modeled when here on earth. I’m afraid those who use their resources for their own benefit here on earth are going to miss out on something of much greater value in the hereafter.
Amen – we can’t buy our way into Heaven! a free gift!!! hugs x
Amen!! It doesn’t matter who we are because in the end like you said we will come to death. I agree with you 100%
Amen to that! thanks friend. hugs xo
Wow! What an amazing what to bring Truth front and center. What a wonderful heart you have in reaching out to others with such an important message… without sugar coating. God’s love is so powerful… and so open to anyone who will. <3
God bless you, Caralyn!
Thanks Gail. Yeah this was such a disheartening story. His will will never steer us wrong!! Hugs and love xox
You are my favorite living preacher. I love your messages. They relate to my life totally. We both suffered greatly in life, we both had a Mount Everest sized battle to win our freedom, and we both are now learning how to live in a brand new world – for us that is. We have a new lease on life and we are going to make the best of it. That is why your messages reach my heart. You have been where I have been although the details and symptoms were different. You relate to my life experience. So keep preaching so I can keep reading new messages. I am your greatest fan (in my own opinion anyways). You rock!
Oh my gosh you are too kind!! Thank j you!!!! You’re so right about that! So glad my story resonates with you!! Keep up the good fight, dear friend! Hugs and love xox