2019: The Post-Christian Era?

337 thoughts on “2019: The Post-Christian Era?”

1. Yes! I gave up on online dating too. I live in the “bible belt” and it is still the same! Even if you do find a believer, it’s like a title…many don’t actually look any different from the world. I’m definitely leaving it up to God to make me visible to my husband in our day to day activity.

   Interesting post!

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   1. Thanks so much Stephanie, amen – let’s leave it up to the Father! 🙂 hugs xox

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2. Working with youth and young adults, I definitely see this trend and you hit the nail on the head when you said it’s our fault – at least more than not. Obviously some of this is just the Bible prophecy coming true but much of it, I believe, is because we (the church) have pushed people too far. We’ve said to them, essentially, that if you don’t look, dress, and talk like us then we don’t want you here. We’ve allowed our building to become social clubs worthy of campaigns while people within them suffer to get through the month with food. We’ve divided people within the church into various groups so there is no more fellowship as a whole – go to your specific group and learn how to be a better . We need to get back to the Bible, look at the Acts 2 church, and start repenting for how we’ve become a country club for the saved and not a place where the broken (of which many of us who are saved still are!), needy, hurt, and lost can come in at any moment and find Truth that will change their lives dramatically and fill the holes within their hearts. Some of which aren’t even known or seen!

   The other side of it is that with all the self-help out there, we’ve made it so clear that we can do this life without help, and when most Christians you see are suffering in some way versus living prosperous and successful life’s (and I know that definition change person to person), it’s hard to want to follow God when you’re doing “just fine”. Many of the young adults have told me that they don’t really see the purpose in following someone who makes you suffer when you can prosper without Him. But I understand their logic when you consider all of the above.

   We the church must do better, then we’ll see revival and more folks understanding the true beauty of God.

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   1. (I hope there aren’t typos. Typing from phone.)

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      1. wow you typed that from your phone!? Thats so impressive!!!!

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   2. Hi Shell, thank you so much for this interesting perspective. There’s . lot of truth here – we need felowships, and we need GOD! 🙂 thnks so much for stopping by! big hugs to you xox

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3. Wonderful post Caralyn! I believe the Media, Social Media and the public school system in our country have done a fine job of removing God from our nation and that’s so sad and sick. I think the best way to meet your mate is to let God bring him or her to you if you take my meaning. Dating apps are dangerous too in my view. Be well! 😎✝️

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   1. Thank you John! Removing God – that’s precisely what’s happening. amen to that. big hugs xox

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4. As a senior citizen (ugh, I hate that term), I found my husband on a dating web site. Older people will say they are “religious” but they are not really Christ followers. One guy started making fun of me because of my faith–that was our last date! The man I married, who lived quite a distance from me at the time, offered on our first date to come back on Sunday and attend church with me–no one ever offered that before! Our first date was so-so, but when he offered that, I gave him a 2nd chance, and I thank God every day that we are together. Hang in there. It is definitely a secular world out there, but God will bring that special man in your life–probably when you least expect it. BTW, I love reading your blog. A number of years ago I went through a 12-step group for codependency, and I love and am encouraged by other people’s recovery stories. God Bless You — and keep on keeping on!

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   1. Hi Andrea, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so glad that you’ve found such a beautiful marriage. Amen – God is in control. big hugs toy ou xox

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5. I believe in God. I think it is hard to follow or be religious when you see the priest molesting children and the church covering it up. You have a president that has cheated on every wife ,lies everyday and spews out hate against anyone not white and he is the president for the ” Christians ” I think people are turning away from religion because they have better morals.Make no mistake I do not understand the several gender thing. I can only be glad that I am not confused. Also when ” Christians ” pretend like they don’t see all the racist things our president says or the racist things that are going on in this country.

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   1. I appreciate you sharing your feelings. It is definitely incredibly disappointing and awful to learn about the abuse and scandals going on in the church. But the church is not made up of a handful of fallen priests — who are exactly that — human, and products of the fall, like we all are. I am not excusing them in any way shape or form. Abuse is horrific and should be punished by the law. But the church is so much more than those isolated incidents. As far as President Trump goes — one can disagree with what he says and does, and even not like his personality — but he is the front of the republican party – which stands for Christian values — particularly those of Life. thanks for stopping by.

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   2. I can only speak to my own experience, but there are many powerful members of the church doing disgraceful things. Seeing loved ones directly affected by these immoral individuals can make you question everything.

      I was brought up Catholic, attended Catholic school K-12, went to church 3x per week, prayed constantly and was good, devout person. Then the pastor at my parish (who I adored) raped a family friend and two alter boys, the pastor at my elementary school sexually assaulted six fellow student, the pastor at my grandmother’s church swindled her out of hundreds of thousands of dollar and the same man wrote himself into my aunt’s will and took everything when she died from cancer. All of the above men are in prison now, but my experience really tarnished my view of and pushed me away from the church. That’s not to say I won’t return, but for the time being I prefer to worship at home where I’m not vulnerable to the predators lurking in sheep’s clothing. My parents question how I could leave, while I question how they can continue to support an institution and a diocese that ignored and covered up serious misconduct. Didn’t mean to be such a downer but wanted to share another perspective, as someone who believes but no longer wears a label.

      I think there is some bigger force pulling people away from God, but I also believe that changes are necessary. We need trustworthy priests who will be punished for bad behavior, along with a welcoming and non-judgmental community. I hope that we see some positive changes in the near future… I think the world could benefit from more faith and more love.

      Good luck on the journey to find your soulmate! Be patient, be diligent and be true to you. He’s out there and he’s looking for you, too! ❤

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6. Yeah, people are only just starting to figure out the effect of the post-Christian era on Christian singles. This ain’t the 90s. Good prospects aren’t plentiful, and honestly, people are generally just less functional these days. 2 Timothy 3 warned us about this.

   We’ll need to be prepared to work, and we’ll need to be prepared to wait. I’m glad God is still in control.

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   1. Thank you Brandon, for sharing your heart on this. Work, Wait and trust. I like that. hugs xox

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7. I’ve definitely noticed this, in some places more than others. Fort Wayne does have more believers than other places I’ve been too though. Most of them just happen to be married already haha. But like you said, the Lord will bring Mr./Ms. perfect our way in perfect timing.

   P.S. Perhaps you should continue your search at the church you wrote about attending a few posts back… where you sat next to a good-looking TAKEN stud haha.

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   1. Fort Wayne! I love Indiana 🙂 I so agree – God’s got this. And thanks for that awesome advice — i think you’re right about that — gotta go where they hang out — at church!!! haha hugs xo

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8. A deeply insightful and beautiful post! Yes this is true everywhere, unfortunately. The Gospel of John speaks of humanity loving darkness rather than light. I think it starts there.
   For me I am now one of the many that does not feel part of a good church home. I do try but they do not reach me or touch my life internally.

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   1. Thank you so much friend. You’re right – there is a battle for souls out there for sure. Thanks for sharing your heart. Have you looked at churches with various styles of worship? Praying for you 🙂 hugs xo

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      1. Thank you for your prayers! Yes I sure have, and I love the liturgy but I’m not able to be all the way Catholic. I was thinking of Anglican maybe. Peace and wonderful blessings to you.

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      2. 🙂 xoxoox

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      3. Yes I sure have. I really love the liturgy but I’m not really Catholic, not completely. So I was thinking perhaps……Anglican. Peace to you.

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      4. 👍🏼

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      5. I was raised Anglican before converting to Catholicism last year. I’d love to talk to you about it if you’re interested.

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      6. Wow, that’s a beautiful offer. I’d prefer email. You can write to me at nicodemasplusthree@gmail.com. Thank you so much!

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      7. I just sent you an email. I look forward to hearing from you!

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      8. Thank you! It’s getting late so I will respond tomorrow. Blessings!

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      9. I’m Lutheran and I LOVE it. It has a lot of the beautiful traditions of Catholicism but follows the Word more closely. Maybe that’s an option for you?

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      10. Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Peace to you and wonderful blessings.

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9. Caralyn, as I tell my daughter, don’t settle! I know you are praying but understand God’s time is not our time. It will happen when you least expect it. Saturday my wife and I celebrated meeting 40 years ago — on 79th Street in NYC. (Long story. It happens.) You are in my prayers.

   We are moving away from God, which is why the world is a mess. Look at the Israelites BC in the desert. We are “them” aimlessly wondering.

   But keep the faith. You go girl!

   Ted

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   1. Don’t settle — that’s such great advice, thank you Ted! 🙂 I know, it’s so disheartening to see the trajectory of the world, but it just reminds me that we were not made for this world! And what a beautiful love story!! 79th street — i know where I’ll be hanging out this Saturday! hahah hugs xo

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10. First of all, dating app responses, disturbing though they may be, aren’t a scientific sample. Secondly, the culture does everything to reinforce the notion that the “cool” people aren’t religious. Then look at the success of films like “Unplanned” or “Breakthrough”.
    Remember the verse, “The fool in his heart says there is no God.” I am reminded of that when I watched the Easter Vigil Liturgy from the Cathedral of Christ The Savior in Moscow, Russia. The Cathedral was packed with worshippers, who stand during a 2+ Hours Liturgy. STAND. There are no pews or even seating except for the old and infirm. No more than 25-30 years ago, many assumed Russia was completely atheistic.
    We all need to become Evangelists, for sure. And sometimes, as a last resort, we will have to use words in our preaching, as St Francis of Assisi reminded us.

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    1. thank you David — you’re right about that – not a scientific sample. And WOW – that so incredible to hear about Russia! incredible!!! and i love Assisi’s quote 🙂 hugs xox

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       1. You are the best. Remember, somebody or another, has been talking about a post-Christian era since roughly the times of Rousseau and Voltaire. Human depravity usually brings us back to our senses.

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       2. So true! back to our senses sounds pretty good right about now! haha hugs xo

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11. That’s so very sad, that you can’t find a nice Christian gentleman

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    1. Thanks Larry, I’m on the lookout for whomever God wants to bring into my path!! 🙂 hugs xox

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       1. Good luck I really hope things work out for you. There are some good Catholic gentlemen

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       2. 🙂 thanks again!! i know they’re out there somewhere! 🙂 oxox

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12. I am not so sure why I read this. Happily married for thirty six years, not a Christian though😂.
    I won’t say I am an atheist nor do I say I am non-religious. Like many other things in life, I think religion is one’s private matter.

    These line made me think, “Which, frankly, communicates to me that we, as a church family, have done a horrible job of making people feel welcome, feel accepted,”. Do you think (again I am not a Christian, so my opinion may sound like biased to you) the church and church goers sending ambiguous signals to its followers? Trying to mix politics and religion is a slippery slope but recent embrace of POTUS by the church, ignoring his moral compass, may raise questions on many people’s minds. Honestly, will you date him?
    Again, sorry for mixing this up. I am sure that was not the intent of your post. But it raised a question in my mind that I wanted to discuss.
    I hope you get what you are looking for. Your sincerity deserves it.

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    1. Hi friend – thank you for sharing your heart. That’s a really great question re: the president. And here’s my 2 cents — for what it’s worth hahah In terms of Trump – We can disapprove of what he says, and does – even his personality and the way he lives his life. But at the end of the day, he’s the front of the republican party, and that stands for values that Christian hold to be nonnegotiable – such as defending Life. And of course, I can’t speak for all christians, but I know that for many of those in my community, that’s how they feel and how they separated voting for someone they may not particularly agree with, and defending their Christian values. Hope that helps!! would love to hear what you think! 🙂 hugs x

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       1. That moral ambiguity may have driven many away.
          By the way, you did not answer my “hypothetical question” – will you date him😂

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       2. date Trump?? haha he’s old enough to be my grandpa!!!

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       3. Well, the question is hypothetical and you are being PC. But I got my answer😂

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       4. Hahah oh boy

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13. God always is In control

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    1. Yes He is!! thanks so much friend! hugs xox

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14. I can see a trend as well. I myself went through a self-discovery phase all of last year dissecting my beliefs and deciding what I believe and what I don’t. I did a lot of reading. It was tough, but I don’t regret it. In the end I chose to not believe solely based on my research and evidence supporting. It was a hard decision to make, but I do not regret it. I wouldn’t call myself an atheist, but I have no interest. I think what’s happening is there’s a breakdown in the church model. I have had so many friends, including myself, devastated by the politics within the church that is said to be epicenter of loving people and caring for all. A lot of pastors are worked to the bone without receiving much pay and are working full time jobs on the side as well. It’s not a model for success. There seems to be an arrogance the church and is not welcoming of new ideas or reformation. I understand what the bible says about homosexuality, but couldn’t it be for a different time and a different culture? Also, couldn’t it be taken out of context? I am also abhorrent of the way the church has addressed mental illness. Even if I was still a ‘believer’ I would not think that mental illness is as a result of demonic possession, the evidence is overwhelming of the opposite. Great post as always, I hope you don’t mind me sharing my thoughts, I know I’m a heathen, lol

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    1. Hi Peter! Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Like everything in life, there are certainly politics in the church too, and you’re right – it doesn’t leave a good taste in your mouth. These are really powerful and inportant questions that you’re asking – and honestly, I don’t know the answer. All I can do is reccommend a movie (that’s also a book) that I watched over the weekend that I almost wrote about tonight – but it’s called “A Case For Christ” – it’s on Netflix. But it is written by an atheist, and it was just phenomenal. Highly suggest. You’re not a heathen!!!! hahahaha oh my gosh, that had me laughing. No! I’ll do some digging on those questions you had too — i love a good dialogue 🙂 hugs xox

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       1. I actually watched that film as an exercise for pro-Christianity arguments 🙂 I read the book in college as well, but didn’t remember it so I watched the movie. If I could recommend a book it would be, Jesus, Interrupted by Bart Ehrman. I found this book very enlightening in terms of the New Testament, why it was written, who it was written for. It doesn’t try to convert you either way, it just lays out what most scholars agree upon in regards to the NT. You have an open mind and that’s awesome! We’re all trying to figure this thing called life out and we’re all in it together

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       2. Gotcha – yeah, I thought it was really powerful. I’ll definitely check out Jesus, Interrupted. Thanks for passing it along. Amen – we’re all on the journey together and what’s a world without love and friendship??

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       3. Exactly! You will have to let me know what you think if you read or listen to it! The bit I found the most interesting was how heaven and hell became Christian theology. You rock!

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       4. sure thing!!

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    2. You make a lot of good points. One thing that I would like to point out is that Christians are human and they make a lot of mistakes, just like everyone else. Unfortunately, the church does not handle everything well. I believe that part of the problem is that not all of the people that attend churches are truly Christian. You know?

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       1. Sure, I can understand that. I think the issue is that some entrenched dogma needs to be updated and there doesn’t seem to be moves to update it either because there would have to be concession that some of the bible is incorrect or they don’t want to address the elephant in the room. I had a discussion with someone struggling with mental health and they were told by believers it was because they were possessed by demons. This may seem like an isolated sect of Christianity, but I assure you it is not.

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       2. Hi Peter, great points once again–I don’t agree with it all, but you make some good points. I would like to encourage you to keep seeking Truth because I believe that it is out there. If Jesus is who he said he was, then that is Truth. And that Truth does not change, even if Jesus was/is misrepresented by Christians. Hope you have a great day!

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    3. Peter, I’m an ordained Catholic Deacon who really wants to understand the mindset of those who have walked away from organized religion. May I ask: do you feel the experience you described here is pretty normal for the “Nones?” And by church politics, do you mean internal squabbling, too much attention paid to national issues, or perhaps a bit of both? Again, I’m just looking to understand. You seem an intelligent sort, and I’d be grateful for your help. — Mike

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       1. Hi Mike, Would you mind corresponding through email? My email address is petah.lantz@gmail.com .

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       2. Glad to, either later today or tomorrow. Thanks very much.

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       3. Thank you, I just feel I could answer your questions more effectively in the body of an email versus typing on my phone

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15. It’s not just in the Christian communities. I was born and raised in a Muslim household. Talk about rules, they are the worst. I’ve seen my younger brother, and cousins turn away because of the outdated thinking. Don’t get me wrong some rules exist for a reason. Unfortunately, when a religion dictates how you should dress, who you should or shouldn’t marry, you will lose people. Especially now, when society is all about keeping yourself happy. This “me” attitude is ruining our morals. We’re stepping away from family and familial duties. Parents are too busy to give time to their kids.
    As for finding a partner, don’t go chasing one. Do your thing and whatever god has in store will come to you in time. I say this from experience. I ran away from marriage but I always told my mom that I would end up adopting a houseful of kids. I’m now married and have a son. I’m not adding to my brood because the doctors have said no. Someone I knew chased after the idea of a perfect man. She’s been divorced twice and is now unhappy. Everything will come in time, just have faith in Him

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    1. Hi Sophie – thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective. Gosh, I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah, I cannot imagine the implications that’s had on you and your heart. That’s really powerful advice — thank you again for sharing your story. big big hugs to you xox

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       1. Hugs to you too

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       2. and you!

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16. I read a news article last night about a recent Gallup poll saying that the percentage of U.S. adults who belong to a church or other religious institution has decreased by 20% over the last 20 years. So it’s definitely on the decline, even though there are many people who are finding God for the first time. Both sides are increasing. Those who believe in God and are striving to follow Him need to be stronger than ever. I support you and I love the Lord with all my heart.

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    1. Hi Don! I think I saw that poll too! Isn’t it just so sad? So so disappointing. But you’re right those who have stayed in the faith are strong! praise God for that! 🙂 big hgus xo

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17. I totally agree, and that’s why I stopped with dating sites. It’ll happen in God’s time if it’s meant to be.

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    1. That’s really a smart way to go. I applaud that!! God’s time!! hugs xo

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18. I have noticed what you have noticed myself.

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    1. Thanks JB – yeah pretty sobering

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       1. You are very welcome, but I can say that the church culture has contributed to the decline.

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       2. Sadly, I think you’re right about that.

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       3. At least you make thing happy.

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       4. 🙂 🤗

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       5. I love it when you smile.

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       6. thanks JB 🙂

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       7. 🙂🙂🙂YOU are welcome BBB.🙂🙂🙂

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       8. xox

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       9. xox

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19. Continue to have God in the center of your life. “Ancient-Future Faith” and “The Benedict Option” are two great reads on this subject.

    I think what I have experienced is a non-sharing of the Faith outside of church buildings and within the buildings an attitude of “If you are to have the greatest Faith then you will be just like us”. -Jeff

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    1. That’s really great advice 0 that you so much. I’ll definitely have to check out those books! thank you Jeff 🙂 amen. big hugs to you xox

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20. I have several grandchildren now of dating age and they are finding the same issue as you – and most of them live in the Midwest and/or the Bible belt. I continue to ask God to keep them focused on dating christians only. Prayers for you – and proud of your stand.

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    1. Thanks so much Barbara – for your prayers and encouragement. There’s power in prayer! Good luck to your grandkids! Will be praying for them too! 🙂 hugs ox

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21. Great post. I did cringe at the “71 genders” comment (LGBTQIA+ affirming over here) but I understand your concerns as a Christian. Do you allow guest posts or only sponsored posts. I write about mental health and would love to collaborate.

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    1. Hi Johnzelle! Sorry about that — Yeah, nothing negative to say about the LGBTQ+ community! I love all people no matter what! Oh That’s awesome – right now, I’m not doing sponsored posts, but if that changes I’ll let you know!! hugs xox

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       1. Thanks for letting me know. I posted my book review today for that book I recommended if you’d like to check it out

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       2. oooh, yes, i look forward to reading it! hugs xo

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22. I absolutely noticed this trend on the dating apps I tried… which is why I came off of them lol! The dating world is certainly hard for Christian millenials, which is why we have to now more than ever put our faith that Jesus does all things well, and who He has prepared for you, will come exactly when you need him! ❤

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    1. Hi Sophie! haha yeah, that was a smart move. It’s so comforting to remember that truth! glad you stopped by 🙂 big hugs xox

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23. I can’t add to anything that the Venerable Fulton Sheen hasn’t said in his talk on the Fourth Great Crisis of the Church.

    People will find their way back to God. Act, and God will act.
    AMDG

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    1. Thanks AMDG – I’ll have to watch that! thank you for sharing it!! big hugs xox

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24. As a Catholic Christian myself, I believe strongly in the sacramental dimension of our Church. I believe we are guided from above. And I believe that we will always be guided from above. Even when we fall down as Church. Our personal task is to get ourselves back into union with our Creator God, to get those we care about there too… and to do whatever we can to convert the rest of the world. The best way we can do the latter is to live as though we truly believe that the Good News is actually good news. When Jesus described the meaning of ‘bread of life’ and some said… uhm, no thank you… and then departed, note that Jesus and his followers did not go after them. Jesus and the Church he founded were always about quality, not quantity. What if we are not in the majority? What if we begin to experience life in the “post-Christian world” as you describe it? That does not diminish the saving power of Jesus by even one tiny iota. In fact, perhaps as a small, empowered, scrappy little band… we, like the very first believers (who faced a far more hostile anti-Christianity than most of us ever will) can actually be very effective in changing the world.

    We are guided from above, and so we will be fine.

    When hardship comes, and it always comes, many (but not all) who scattered will return. Like the workers who were hired to the vineyard late but were paid a full days wages, like the prodigal son, we should welcome them home with joy. In the meantime, there is much work to be done.

    Thank you for your generosity of spirit and for your good work.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your heart on this issue. Amen – guided from above. There is such comfort in that. Hugs and love xox

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       1. Hi. Thanks for liking my blog. From my experience, the men I meet online are all scam artists. I have never met any man who is what he says he is and when I have, I find out he just wants friendship. So I trust God. Solomon wrote, “He who finds a wife, finds what us good and obtains favor of the Lord. So he just need to find me. I’m not looking for him. Time is short. When I meet him, we might not date at all.

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       2. Hi Ruthie, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Trusting God – that is always THE BEST way to go!!! hugs xox

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25. Yeah, I feel the same way that more and more people these days aren’t religious anymore…And I’m also noticing more and more liberals…might be just me…definitely agree about a post Christian time…and philosophically in a post post-modern time…

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    1. I definitely notice that too!! We’ve gotta stay strong in the faith. Hugs and love xox

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26. Well said.

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    1. Thank you friend. Hugs and love xox

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27. Don’t worry! We started under the heel of the pagan Roman Empire…

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    1. That’s such a great point. Hugs and love xox

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28. I think your observations are on point, whether dating apps, the nones or dones.

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    1. Thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to read. Hugs and love xox

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29. I notice it not just in my area, but nationally. The “Nones” are growing, at the expense of the Church. As an ordained Catholic deacon, I am part of the organized religion that they have no present use for. I’d like to be part of the solution, not the problem in their eyes, and did a post today on that subject.

    But to your own situation– keep looking. Don’t you dare settle for less than you deserve and desire, no matter how long it takes. Hugs and love– Mike

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    1. Nationally for sure. thanks so much for sharing your heart, Mike. You’re right – no matter how long it takes. Big big hugs xox

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30. I have a unique perspective here. I do in fact believe in God but I long ago lost faith in the church. Perhaps because I’m too analytical. But it was a culture of guilt and fear. Every word said with the intent of needing continuing, elusive forgiveness. This in spite of the fact, the teachings I remember are that God forgives everyone. But even as a teenager I what I heard wasn’t lining up with a lot of what I read the Bible. The words being spoken were ultimately there to guilt the congregation into giving more to the collection plate. I had a co-worker at one time who even though he was struggling (and with a family to support)insisted he had to give 10% of his pay to the Church. Doesn’t sound like God’s will to me.

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    1. Hi Mike, thank you so much, for sharing your heart on this. Guilt and fear are really powerful emotions for sure. you’re right – God loves to forgive. one book i would reccomend, if you’re interested, is Captivating by Stacy Eldridge. It is truly transformative. hugs xo

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31. This might seem obvious – although I haven’t noticed mention of it… Have you tried an exclusively Catholic dating website? But, I’ll go one better. I really suggest beginning to attend a Traditional Latin Mass parish regularly… and then modestly socializing. The resurgence of the TLM today is calling to young people who are hungry for a return to tradition and substance in this post-Christian society. You might be likely to meet a young Catholic man who is professional, chivalrous, a gentleman, and serious and conservative about his faith… and starting a family. Don’t thank me if this doesn’t speak to you… But I do hope/pray… Speaking of, pea to St. Raphael – that your right mate is being made ready for you by his purification, just as you are for him by yours. All the best.

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    1. Hi Michael! thiat is a great suggestion. i have tried a cathoilc dating site, but it was not a great stuation. But you’re right, that’s a great idea. Thank you for your prayers and kind words. hugs xox

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32. *pray to St. Raphael 😇

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    1. yes!!! thanks xo

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33. Clicked that to fast… 😒🤔
    The fact that there are nones and dones is a testimony to Scripture fulfilling and reflecting GOD’s word.

    Jeremiah 2:8, 10:21, 12:10, 22:22, 23:1 & 2. Also verses scattered across the New Testament.

    An old saying goes, ” so goes the Pastor so goes the Church, so goes the Church so goes the nation. ”

    Our world is being set up for extreme persecution of Christians or Christ followers, whatever we call ourselves.
    It was reflected in pre-ww2 Germany, pre-communist Russia, & even way back pre-flood with Genesis 6:5. “…And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually…”.
    Today in our time, we can see that same reflection of mankinds heart, Every imagination of their heart being evil.
    Its not so much we – the congregants – have failed, our leadership has failed in their job to lead.
    Your noticing it now, but it’s been growing for decades.
    When I was married we had our oldest in a local freewill baptist christian school, I went to speak to the pastor about scriptural interpretations etc..
    After a lengthy discussion he admitted that in their denomination of 16 million, they had hundreds of rededications ( thats all fine & good ) but absolutely ZERO new conversions…. big 0… ZERO…
    They failed in reaching the lost in their communities.
    He said every denomination was having similar results, this was 15+ yrs ago. Its only gotten worse.
    Rededications are fine but Jesus came to save the lost, not the righteous, when we fail to reach the lost we have failed in the message of the gospel.

    What you’re seeing is a reflection of reality & Scripture being repeated & fulfilled again.
    Persecution is coming, people need to wake up and realize its coming to the west soon enough.
    To many say ” I’ll let the Lord take care of me ” or they think it can’t happen to them. We read in Proverbs 22:3. “…A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished…”
    The Christians fled Jerusalem in 70AD because of the Lords prophecies about coming judgment. I think believers need to heed those same warnings.

    Most people refuse to accept the doom or gloom talk, instead focusing on their warm fuzzy god they’ve created for themselves.
    So Cara, keep praying, keep looking, keep your faith, and keep believing in our Heavenly Father & His Son.

    God Bless.

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    1. Thank you for this heartfelt response. yes! i’ve got to keep beliving in our Heavenly Father and Hi s son! hugs xox

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34. My dear Caralyn, I met my husband almost 20 years ago when a new website was getting started. Now it’s renamed and thriving, I think it’s exactly what you’re looking for: https://www.avemariasingles.com/. Also, when I was your age, I went to some young adult events and retreats that my diocese had; never dated anyone I met, but they were all practicing Catholics. God bless you.

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    1. oh that gives me such great hope! thank you for sharing you rbeutofi; cp,,emt! hugs xox

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35. Then again… You’ve confessed s few times to having a fear of intimacy (which is understandable). But one must ask how much self-sabotage is happening in your dating choices – the men you select for dates, the venues or websites through which you choose to meet them. You know what you’re doing and what you’re seeing early on… You may be subconsciously preventing yourself from achieving the stable, healthy, marriage-bound courtship you say you want. Take time alone – in a fastvfrom dating – to pray in contemplation and an examination of conscience. Then be brave… and patient. And go about your business and truly trust God.

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    1. Hi friend, thanks for this perspective. Those are good thoughts – to be clear, I’ve been on about a 5-year dating fast haha. This is my first time putting myself in play to allow God to work. 🙂

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       1. Of course. Baby steps. Apologies for missing those important truths. All the best.

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       2. 🙂 you too

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36. Interest post and so true. I have to agree with you. God will send your help mate in due time. Something I have to keep telling myself. Even going church to look for someone is a joke. Why I say that nowadays more fakes pretending to be something they not. God says sheep hear my voice come running to me. I hope that came out correctly. Do let me know. God Bless

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    1. Thank you so much! I think you’re absolutely right about that – God will make it work the way He has planned! 🙂 hugs xo

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       1. You are very welcome. It’s the waiting that’s rushing us. Yes, when we’re ready and not before then. Easily said I know. Hope all is well on your end. God Bless

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       2. ✨💛✨

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37. […] https://beautybeyondbones.com/2019/04/29/2019-the-post-christian-era/ […]

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    1. thanks for the link up, Tonya! hugs xo

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    2. Hi Tonya~! Thank you so much for the link up! big hugs xox

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38. Speaking on “the other side” (as a man, also in NYC) I can affirm what you said about men in NYC, with regards to faith. But yes, it sounds like you should work on patience. Not that I’m one to be judgmental, because I need to work on patience too.

    With the number of non-Christians, though, there is hope: we’ve been through worse as a Church and have come out just fine. We can go through this, too.

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    1. Hi Brendan! Thank you so much for sharing this perspective. Amen – patience. And you’re right about that. Thanks for this encouragement 🙂 big hugs xox

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       1. You’re welcome! Remember–if we can get through persecution like what happened for much of the first three centuries of Christianity, we can get through this too!

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       2. you’re right about that!

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       3. Thanks!

          Also, hopefully you were able to come to the Young Adults Mass last night! I was there and the celebrant gave some reminders during the homily that were helpful for me (which may be helpful reminders for you, too).

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       4. You’re kidding! I was!!!

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       5. No I’m not kidding. 🙂 The priest’s call to love the Lord first and foremost was a good reminder. And so is the reminder that some of us may yet be called to be priests, nuns, or religious. I don’t feel that call, but I’m sure some in that cathedral did and needed to hear that.

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       6. I actually had the same thought about his call to vocations. I thought his preaching was on fire, i really enjoyed it!

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39. Interesting thoughts! I see the trends as well and fear it’s a multi-faceted issue but much of it comes down to thinking like Jesus and acting with love vs our limited human thinking that centers around the letter of the law (the Pharisees had trouble with that too).

    I also am probably the only person to have an opposing view on dating but maybe you should open the dating pool to the “done” bachelors? Personally I was a done Christian when I met my husband and his faith and courage to speak Truth was a large part of what attracted me to him, how I made my way back to the church, and how we overcame a LOT of hurdles that ultimately led to marriage- that’s some power of Christ!

    I love what another commenter said- “the church is not a country club,” our faith is not easy. Our faith is a cross, Jesus said that, but the cross is sweet when we know what awaits the fruits of our labor. You’re clearly brave and strong in your faith; perhaps you can inspire a lucky man to not only find love and strength in you but more importantly in the cross.

    Just some humble thoughts! Thanks for your posts, they’re always thought-provoking and a joy to read.

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    1. Thinking like Jesus and acting with love – I love that so much. And wow – our faith is a cross…so powerful. Thanks for this great insight! bighugs xox

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40. Patricia and I were lucky enough to discover that quiet, intense love that is basic to life itself; it is seldom found in real life. We had the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most real to each other. I used to pray nightly that the first girl that attended Church with me would be the girl I married; well Pat was the first girl that attended Church with me. She even became an Anglican and Christianity is very much a part of our love. I love her with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life; and now that she is in Heaven, if God choose, I shall but love her better after death. We were in graduate school when we met – no dating service.for us. Both Pat and I went to the University of Toronto’s Faculty of Library Science in 1968/69. On Fridays, some of us went pub crawling as soon as they opened at noon. We called it POETS Corner. Yes, you guessed it: it’s an acronym for Piss On Everything, Tomorrow’s Saturday. On Friday, November 15, 1968, Pat was a fellow student’s date at the Red Lion. I was attracted to her and sat beside her. When Steven Horne left her alone to talk to some of his buddies, I was there and since it was by now late afternoon, I asked her to supper. She said yes. She went home to Rochdale to change and I picked her up there. Rochdale had just opened and there were a lot of graduate students there, so you can’t assume that Pat was a hippy. (But we were kind of hippies – long hair and all.) We went to Hungarian Village on Bay Street.
    We had the Transylvanian wood platter for two. That is, three salads, rice, fried potatoes, beef tenderloin, Hungarian sausage, bacon, grilled pork chop, Wienerschnitzel, cabbage rolls, and pickled beets, all accompanied by a full bottle of the Hungarian wine known as “Bull’s Blood”. Between us (though mostly Pat), we polished it all off. Then we had apple strudel and two each apricot brandies (remember, we started the date drinking beer all afternoon!). After Hungarian Village, we went to hear Brownie McGhee and Sonny Terry at the Riverboat in Yorkville where we also had pastries and coffees. The date was not over yet, though it was past midnight. We went to Plaka, a Greek nightclub on Queen Street where we listened to Basuki players from Athens and threw dishes. There, we had two Zombies and a sharing tray of Greek cheese. I was thinking, boy, can this small girl ever eat and drink. I’m a foodie and was truly impressed. Got her back to Rochdale early Saturday morning and, after getting to know each other Hippie style, I proposed to her. She said “no.” Didn’t get much sleep before having to head off to my Saturday job at the undergraduate library at U of T. After work, I dropped by her place to ask her to Church on Sunday morning. Pat accepted, and came to the Church of the Redeemer with me on Sunday; this confirmed that Pat was the girl for me. We married six months later, June 21, 1969!
    I know this is kind of long but I hope our experience might help you.

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    1. POETS hahah that gave me a chuckle. But seriously, thank you for sharing this. It has made my heart so warm to hear your beautiful love story. And how your love for he continues to grow. This brought tears to my eyes. thank you for blessing me with this. 🙂 hugs xox

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41. The greatest test of this generation is to have faith in the face of overwhelming fact—by believing myth. Consider biology, neurology, philology, psychology, archeology, all the greatness that was once ascribed to gods in the past has been explained quite nicely with reproducible evidence. Even spirituality is easily dismantled in tests of neurology. It’s not that people believe in the zodiac and you alluded, they just don’t believe in the traditions that are easily explained today. Heaven, hell, gods by the thousands have come and gone. This one too will go the way of the dodo. It took 900 years for Christianity to replace the Greek gods. Religion has its day. Catholicism and fundamental Christianity has ruined enough lives, even today. And the abuses are handwaved by faith that no secular law would tolerate.

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    1. Hi Jim, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. The beautiful thing about Christianity is that it doesn’t contradict science or psychology or archeology or any of those things — in fact, they confirm each other. It is a powerful thing. I would invite you to watch “A Case for Christ” – written by an atheist. It is incredibly powerful. I appreciate you stopping by and joining the dialogue. hugs and love xox

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42. I believe we are experiencing an end time falling away. It is really an honesty… do you care about a relationship with Jesus Christ or not? Are things/people/hobbies/self/places/addictions more important than your eternal soul? Well, apparently they are for many people and the entertainment/iffy news media/politicians/certain areas of peer pressure support the “freedom” of spiritual bondage. God would rather people were serious about a relationship with Him than pretending to be and that is truth. But I digress.
    The right Godly man will come along and it only takes one and trust me, it is better to wait years for the right man than spend years regretting the wrong one. As always, love you, beautiful!hugsXO 😄 ❤

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    1. Hi Tonya, thank you for this beautiful response. You’re absolutely right. We have come to a fork in the road — do we believe, or not? Are we willing to live out our faith? or not. You’ve given me so much powerful food for thought here. thank you. And yes!! Patience for the right one!!! I so appreciate this wonderful encouragement. Grateful for you, friend! love ya!!!! xoxo

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       1. 😄❤

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       2. xoxoxo 🙂

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43. I agree that we aren’t always the most welcoming. But here are a few other thoughts. First, I strongly recommend getting “Already Gone” by Ken Ham. Either the book or the DVD or both. The message is that churches have stopped teaching. People are no longer being fed, and the only people left talking are the atheist scientists. The book is called Already Gone, because most kids are mentally already gone well before high school.

    Too many preachers do NOT ascribe to a literal reading of Genesis. They accept deep time and try to fit evolution into creation, so far too many churches are headed by pastors who do not ascribe to the inerrancy of Scripture. Once God’s Word is marginalized, everything goers. Hence, so many individual truths.

    The Truth is no longer preached, because ministers fear for their jobs. They don’t dare preach unadulterated Truth for fear of upsetting members or driving away visitors. Already Gone discovered that this reticence to preach boldly has left too many people cold. It isn’t about the music. It’s about preaching Truth in its purity.

    Ultimately, everyone is talking except the churches and Christians. No one is countering the evolutionists and other purveyors of different truths.

    And yes, I’ve seen the same thing. Christianity – real, pure Christianity is dying. In fact, I read years ago that many Chinese churches consider America a rich missionary field and send their people here many times. Of course, Christianity won’t actually die, but the faith community is definitely shrinking.

    And that’s me for tonight…

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    1. Already GOne – ok, adding it to my list. thank you for that recco! sounds really interesting, and sadly, very true. And you’re so SO true – once we start picking and choosing what we want to believe and adhere to in the bible, it’s a dangerous dangerous road. It is the Word of God – and who are we to edit/sanitize/disregard. And that’s so true about worship getting back to preaching. I think so many times we’re so concerned with being welcoming and the starbucks and the production value and not “scaring people away” that we let the Truth get skirted to the wayside, in exchange for the “God love us no matter what crap we’ve done.” Which — let’s be clear, is important. But at the end of the day, we’ve got to take it to a deeper level. We’ve got to pray. And I also hear that in Africa the Church is on fire too. Lots of great food for thought here, Jeff. Thank you, as always. I always look forward to hearing your thoughts! big big hugs to you xox

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       1. Thanks! I always enjoy our exchanges.

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       2. 🙂

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44. I appreciate the wisdom in your post today. As a father of several in the ‘dating and seeking’ age range, I know they see this struggle also. As a Pastor, I hear what you’re saying about the Church chasing people away. Clearly, we’ve become too comfortable in our own groups, and have lost the love for the lost that Jesus and the early church had. Therefore, we’ve just built thicker walls to keep people out of our churches.

    However, we have to also understand that the enemy–satan–the liar, thief, and murderer–is very effective at ‘stealing, killing and destroying’ relationships…families…and cultures. Our culture has become increasingly ‘anti-God’, and has, perhaps unwittingly, played right into the enemy’s hands. “Thinking themselves wise, they became fools…”

    So, what are we to do about it, and how does it relate to dating? First, I think we all (even us married folks) need to love Jesus–with a PASSION–much more, and allow Him to ‘shine’ through us more fully. As the world gets darker, the true church will shine brighter.

    …and that’s where it comes to you (and several of my kids, and millions of other young people). You must start with the love of Jesus–period. I don’t mean ‘love Jesus so He’ll get you a spouse’, but ‘love Jesus, period’. As you do, you will shine like a star in the night sky…some will reject you as a result, but others will be drawn to you…and some (who have similar goals) will be mutual sources of encouragement in the journey.

    Stay strong!

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45. Isn’t it interesting how we as humans like to put labels on ourselves? When the New Testament was written it was Jews and Gentiles. We have our modern versions today don’t we and I see some of those labels in the comments above. Jesus only has one label for those who are interested in the hereafter and that is “friends!” Why should we be surprised about the condition which you have described as the “post Christian era?” The Bible says that would happen before Jesus returns and there are several passages that articulate that. “When the Son of Man returns will He find faith on the earth?” “As in the days of Noah …” So how did this rejection of Christianity happen? Try the teaching of evolution for starters. If there is no creation story but we evolved then morality is how we define it. If we evolved then there is no original sin and no need of a Savior. No need of Jesus, no need of God. So teachers teach this to our children and replace it with the social gospel but that is counteracted by “the survival of the fittest” doctrine and the relative prosperity of our generation makes the “haves” self-sufficient and the have-nots of no consequence. The volatile condition of our whole world today tells me conditions are right for the real Jesus to reappear and make a separation. Those who like the way heaven operates will be transported there and get their wish. Those who would be unhappy there will get their wish and be put out of their misery …. eternally! It’s our choice, but we have to hang in there and hopefully persuade others to join us in a happier existence. There is a Christian mate reserved for you. Look for him in the right places. 🙂

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    1. “Friends” i like that. You’re right – Jesus dined with, lived with, loved, respected, embraced, defended everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from. What a powerful and telling example. Interesting perspective on the social gospel — lots to mull over!!! thanks for the encouragment. 🙂 big hugs xox

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46. I’m so sorry. That last comment was over-harsh. None of that was my business. I apologize. Please forgive me.
    God bless and keep you.

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    1. That’s quite alright! not over harsh at all. i appreciate the conversation 🙂 hugs x

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47. A sad lol here. I knew this already. Some of the worst things about people can be found in people who call themselves Christians. I’ll never step into a church again. The last time I found one I liked, I asked to join. I was told I would have to be approved by a vote. I knew what that meant. It was a monetary criteria. Enough annual income, you could join. I was shaken. Hurt. Angry. Jesus picked poor men to join in his Earthly ministry; not once did he ask for a vote on a new Apostle. I gave up. And the modern evangelicals, not all but the sect that believe in the Seed Gospel, or who countenance the horrors of the Trump administration, i.e. the scattered children? No, I refuse to call those Christians. Never trust a man who goes to church but is fine with destroying the lives of the little ones.

    That said, I don’t think you’re likely to find a worthy partner on the internet. Even if he says he’s Christian. And “Christian” dating sites are disgusting. I know what I’m talking about. I’m sorry this has been so difficult for you, and I apologise for my harsh words, but I like you, even though in real life, you wouldn’t likely want me as a friend. Not many do; I accept this. You, however, deserve to be happy. So for what it is worth, yes, be patient, but be careful, extremely careful. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing all over the place; online and off. What you want will be risky. And you can never know what to expect.

    2019 is not the post-Christian era. There will never be such thing as that; real faith and faithfulness is out there. The real thing is hard to spot with ersatz believers and atheists ready to pounce so ALL the time. But we’re not gonna give up faith. I hope the search will be safe and happy. God bless and protect you.

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    1. Hi Michael, I’m so sorry that you experienced that at church. I am horrified to think that there was a vote — that is NOT how Jesus loved people. So i’m really sorry that that was how you were treated. I would be angry and hurt too. Thanks for joining the dialogue, and just so you know, i would definitely want to be your friend 🙂 hugs xo

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       1. How rare you truly are.

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       2. 🙂 xoxoxoxoxo

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       3. Ditto. 🙂

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48. I met my guy in college and we’ll be celebrating 21 years in May. With 4 kids who will marry someday I often wondered if we instilled in them the importance of “being equally yoked” and not just in terms of believer and nonbeliever but in believer and believer because not everyone in the church will have the same beliefs. Our oldest who is 19 and in University in Philadelphia came face to face with this realization when the girl he was dating, while she went to church, felt the Bible was fluid and didn’t pertain to today. That was a huge red flag for him so he called it off. He said it was hard but he needed someone who believed ALL the Bible. I know that him putting the Lord first will be honored the same way I know it will for you. We’ve prayed for our children’s spouses from day one; I believe that there’s a mom and dad who have prayed for you and God will bring you together whether through a dating app or “chance encounter” xo

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    1. Oh my gosh Congratulations on 21 years! that is so exciting and really something to celebrate. How beautiful. I agree – there is no picking and choosing when it comes to God’s Word. thanks for this wonderful encouragement 🙂 big hugs xox

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49. It is true. Religions are losing that strong hold they once held over nearly everyone on the planet. This is not necessarily a bad thing though. There are very good reasons why the world is turning away from religious beliefs and embracing a secular lifestyle. Non-believers carry no baggage. They are not required to explain the unexplainable. They accept (sorry, wrong word) they appreciate the world and life for what it is and are truly happy to be part of it and they do not have to ascribe the good and bad things that occur in this truly unpredictable universe to any unnatural or supernatural entity. My advice to you is to not exclude non-believers from your search for true love, you would be surprised to know that they can be as caring and loving as any believer………. maybe even more so.😊 Good luck in your quest.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this and joining the dialogue. I appreciate the advice! 🙂 hugs xo

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50. “But, to be honest, I don’t think this trend of post-christian identity is specific to the Big Apple.”

    It’s not. Much of Sacramento and the San Francisco Bay Area are the same way, at least among people who don’t get married in their early 20s and stay that way. And even many women I’ve met, or female friends I know, who call themselves Christian are still looking to hurry up and hop into bed and sort out the details later, just like the rest of the world. And that’s part of the reason I’ve pretty much given up on dating.

    Given the way the state government is in California, I’m afraid that true Christianity is going to be driven underground in my lifetime, or that we’re headed for a second Civil War. I hope not. I’ve thought many times in my adult life about leaving, thinking I’d probably fit in better somewhere else, but also aware that I might experience other kinds of culture shock, and feeling like we need people out here to stand up for what’s right. The sermon at my little 11-person church this week was very timely for what I’ve been feeling; I might write about it soon.

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    1. Thanks for this insight – yeah, I’m afraid it’s known the world over. I do think that while the overall population of believers is shrinking, those that remain are stronger than ever. 🙂 I hope so at least. I’d love to read what you have to say about that sermon! 🙂 hugs xox

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       1. I think you’re right, too since extent, at least in the places that are more post-Christian, so to speak. I’ll probably be posting over the weekend sometime, most likely Sunday.

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       2. I look forward to reading it!

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