Come What May

Hello friends! I hope you had an awesome Fourth of July weekend!

Mine was absolutely terrific.

Got to relax in God’s beautiful creation. Very limited cell service. No hustle bustle. Just my family and a pleasant breeze off the water.

We spent the days on the lake…

The evenings at Packer bars…

and the twilights with loved ones on the dock.

There’s nothing like family to really make your heart sing.

Speaking of singing, I’ve got a really exciting job coming up.

Allow me to set the scene.

As some of you may know, I have been acting professionally since the age of five. TV shows, a few indie movies, commercials, theater. But my favorite genera was always musical theater.

And my all time favorite role was Annie. Yes, as in the red headed, curly haired, Little Orphan Annie. I actually was in three different productions of it throughout my childhood.

But this year, one of the production companies I did it for back in the day, is putting it on again, this coming year.

It’s the big musical in their seasonal lineup, and they’ve decided to really amp up the excitement on the season announcement.

SO – they’ve invited me, (the company’s “original Annie”) to sing a duet with the new, incoming Annie for a promotional video they’re going to release coming up.

And we’re singing none other than….”Tomorrow” — the hallmark, mainstay classic we all know and love from the show.

And today, as I’ve been going through and rehearsing, I couldn’t help but be struck by the lyrics of the song, and particularly, how incredibly poignant they are in this very moment in 2019.

The sun’ll come out, tomorrow.
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there’ll be sun.
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow,
‘Til there’s none...
When I’m stuck with a day that’s gray and lonely,
I just stick out my chin and grin and say, Oh!
The sun’ll come out, tomorrow!
So you gotta hang on ’til tomorrow, come what may.
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow.
You’re always a day away!

I’ve got to be honest, preparing for this job has brought up a lot of bottled-up emotion for me.

You see, when I portrayed Annie back in the day, I was at a height of my acting career. It was such a pivotal show for me: I was just coming off of doing a television pilot. It was a highly visible production, and as the lead, I had the responsibility of the show riding on my shoulders as an 11-year-old girl. There was no understudy. Eight shows a week. And if you’ve ever tried to sing that song, you will know — it is incredibly vocally grueling. It’s how most girls blow out their voices…including me. I developed pre-nodules on my vocal chords, and my voice was never the same.

Thinking back to this show, I’m feeling my chest tighten with emotion as I listen to the music again, and am just flooded with memories. This show was actually the catalyst to me taking a career-trajectory-altering break from acting. You see, during the run, I collapsed backstage after one of the shows and had to be rushed to the hospital to get pumped with fluids.

It was pretty scary. Waking up in a hospital bed was the moment that my parents and I said, “This is too much” and decided to take some time off after the run to “be a kid” as I called it.

And I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t wondered from time to time, what direction my life would have taken, had I just stuck with it, and kept pursuing that which made me feel so alive.

But back to the present.

Singing these lyrics again, and seeing little 11-year-old me in my mind’s eye, belting out that song in my wig and red dress, in front of the packed 3000 seat theater…I’m reminded of one thing: hope.

Never in a million years would I have thought that my life would have taken the path it did, those many years ago. The health trials with ulcerative colitis. The years-long battle with anorexia. I wish I could just go back and hug that little girl and tell her to never stop believing that she could achieve her dreams. To never stop loving herself so fiercely, or being free or wanting to share her gift with the world.

I would just hug her and not let go, knowing the road that lay ahead for this brave little girl.

The sun’ll come out tomorrow.

How incredibly appropriate, Lord, that those would be the words of that song.

How precisely fitting, that I’d be belting my heart out about the hope of tomorrow: it is almost uncanny.

Because it was that truth that got me through all those challenges that brought me to the depths: Hope. Hope of tomorrow – Of things yet unseen. Things to come. Things you’ve promised me.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.’” Jer 29:11

That was what I clung to, at inpatient. That hope. That promise that, though I was terrified of tomorrow, not knowing what a life would be like without ED — that He had good plans for me, His child.

You never said it would be easy, Lord. You never said it wouldn’t be painful or full of moments that define our character, or test our faith in the darkness.

But You promised that You will be there with us, come what may.

The sun’ll come out, tomorrow.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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144 responses to “Come What May”

  1. I’ve always believed that God cares about our dreams – we just have to put them in his hands first, let him drive. He’ll bring us back around.

    • I really believe that he does too. Thanks Brandon. Amen – let Him drive! Hugs and love xox

  2. I hold Jer 29:11 close to my heart always. We have to hope and trust in His plans. And yes it may not be easy but we know that He will be right there with us always.
    Congratulations on the opportunity to sing. May you enjoy every moment surrounding this.

    • It’s one of my favorite verses. You’re so right – He will be right there with us. Thanks so much for sharing in the excitement with me! Hugs and love xox

  3. Hope. It’s a tough thing to come by sometimes. “When you’re up to your butt in alligators…” so to speak. It’s much easier to find when you know that God is on your side and working for you! I’ve often thought of the Beatle’s “The Long & Winding Road” in my life; all of the detours, dirt roads, and super highways…in no particular order. I suppose the same can be said for you too!

    While neither of us have enjoyed our respective trials, we can both see that God brought us to even better places than we were or maybe were even going to be without them. I have to believe that The Best Is Yet to Come! So sang ol’ Blue Eyes.

    • Hi Jeff! You’re so right about that – God brings us to even better places. And oh my gosh!! I’ve never heard that alligator saying!! 😂 I’m definitely going to have to start using that!!! Hahahahahhaha love it. Thanks for this response Jeff – going to go listen to that Beatles song now!! Have a great night! Hugs and love to you and your girls! Xox

      • Never heard of that? When you’re up to your butt in alligators, it’s hard to remember that your original goal was to drain the swamp.

      • Hahahahaha oh my gosh that is amazing. I guess they’re missing that one in Ohio!

    • Thank you so much RJ!! So glad it resonated with you 🙂 have a great night. Hugs and love xox

  4. Oh, my heart. I always love your stories, but this one brought tears. How fitting that you write about this Annie opportunity (which sounds SO fun!) in the same post as your family’s celebration of our national freedom. Much love!!!

    • Oh Janice, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes!! It’s a fun opportunity for sure. And thanks for saying that 🙂 big hugs! Xox

  5. Annie was my very first Broadway play. I still remember the excitement I felt when the curtain lifted, the music swelled, and the cast of little girls bounded onto the stage. Oh, how I wanted to be Annie! I drove my parents crazy singing those songs, not for months, but for years! Then I was blessed to see 2 of my 3 daughters act in school and local productions of the same play that had brought me so much joy as a child. And yes, it’s all about hope. And love, and trust, and faith. Thank you for bringing back those memories. Hugs to you!

    • Hi Amy!! Oh that is so special!! Yeah it is really a one of a kind show. The broadway shows today just can’t compare! That’s so great that your daughters got to experience that too!!! So fun! Hugs and love xox

    • I think you’re so right about that. He loves a good circle storyline 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  6. Hey Caralyn, Congratulations on being part of another show stopper, or show starter maybe it will be, since it will be to draw people in. I hope your throat and vocal cords are strong and good, so no damage is done.
    In thinking of your trip through life to where you now are, even though He didn’t plan or orchestrate your path, God walked with you, and carried you at times, leading you to where you now are. Since you were on that route, with many experiences, you are now helping hundreds of friends in a variety of ways, including “Bloom”, your various blogs, YouTube.
    With the turns and twists, your loving influence may not have touched as many people. I believe you would have still been a blessing to many, but perhaps through different avenues or venues, where as now there are many hurting friends you touch with your loving, caring words and attitude a couple times or more weekly.

    And of course, I don’t mind saying, selfishly on my part, chances are slim that we would have met, and I have the privilege of calling you my Friend.

    Thank you Caralyn, you are awesome. And what is the saying, “ Break a leg”, when one starts a new performance. Literally, please don’t, or will I feel bad.

    God Bless,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘

    • Thank you so much George!! Gosh you’re kind to share in the excitement with me. You’re so right – He carries me through those trials for sure. And amen – I am grateful to call you friend too!! 🙂 yes! Haha break a leg is definitely the proper lingo! You sound like a pro!!! Haha if i do…I won’t hold you accountable! Hahahahaha big hugs to you xox

  7. If we could just live FOR GOD, work FOR GOD, sing FOR GOD, give FOR GOD, do everything in HIM and for HIM. Wouldn’t life be much more easier?

    Proverbs 16:3-4 KJV
    Commit thy works unto the Lord, and thy thoughts shall be established. The Lord hath made all things for himself: yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

    The security and peace of doing all things for HIM for everything is by Him…

    Colossians 1:17 KJV
    And he is before all things, and by him all things consist.

    Let me stop there. Your words are always uplifting may God continue to model you into greatness for His Glory.

    If you don’t mind me asking is this Annie the same Anne of Green Gables?

  8. I’m studying to be a Registered Dietitian, and I’m super passionate about working with people with eating disorders. I love what you have to say about your time in recovery and how Christ helped you see bigger plans beyond your ED. I hope others can look to you and see that He is always there, even in the worst of times to lead you to a greater purpose.

    • Thank you so much – what a powerful vocation you’ve chosen!! Amen to that! Hugs and love xox

  9. And He blesses a thousand generations to those who love and obey him. (Exodus 20:6). He is building a beautiful legacy in you to pass on. ♥️

  10. This is such a wonderful post. You look beautiful in those pictures and you were such an adorable little girl 🤗🤗. You went through alot but you made it! You have quite the story to tell because of it. You help more people than you know, I’m sure of that. Congratulations on the upcoming event! Thanks for sharing your journey 🌞🌞🌻❤

    • Thank you so much Lane! Haha I was definitely a little pip squeak! Haha but seriously, thank you for saying that. That is my deepest prayer. Big hugs to you friend, hope you have a beautiful night xox

  11. How exciting! Hope you’ll post the duet 🙂 I’ve always loved Annie! I still remember the very first Annie, Andrea McArdle. My sister and I listened to the album over and over and over again. Glad you had family time at the lake, so special! Take care, Jenny xo

    • Thanks Jenny! Yeah it was such a special week with them. And oh how fun!! Yeah the music is just phenomenal! Hugs and love xox

  12. Beautiful and powerful post again Caralyn! I’ve recommended your blog to my only niece who’s 27 and going through a breakup of a six year, live-in relationship with her fiancee. She’s at a breaking point, very vulnerable, has lost 20 pounds, and feels very lost. Please pray that your posts will encourage and speak to her about her next steps. And finally, that her relationship with the Lord becomes true and authentic. Thank you!! Her name is Megan.

    • Thank you so much. And gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that your niece is going through that. I will absolutely keep Megan in my prayers. 💛 God’s got her in the palm of His hand. Hugs and love xox

  13. What a beautiful post 💕 I read it with a tear in my eye. I too was in Annie but as an orphan when I was younger, it will always remain one of my favourites. I hope you enjoy singing tomorrow again, how lovely to be asked back ☺️ x

    • Thank you so much! Aww that’s so awesome – there’s something really special about that show 🙂 thanks for sharing in the excitement with me! Hugs and love xox

  14. PTL! Congrats on your opportunity… a blessed opportunity to witness using the very testimony God has given you… as you are very well doing. Praying for you, Caralyn, through challenging time. You know the most beautiful and important to take with you… That God loves you and always will!

  15. Reading all about Your journey, I’ve really got to say now You are “Chuck” full of wisdom 😉! Congratulations on your journey and Best Wishes for the adventures ahead ⭐️. Like a stone thrown across a lake causing ripples, good or bad obstacles may cause ripples in all our daily life activities but that doesn’t mean it will change the goodness within us or who we are. Stay awesome as usual, Good Luck 👍🏻💪🏻🙂!

  16. Just sending so much love to that brave little girl, still singing inside you!
    It’s hard sometimes looking back on our childhoods ans knowing all we’d go through, isn’t it? All the ways we’d be broken to become more beautiful and compassionate. Mystery!

    • Thank you so much Anna, you’re so sweet. You’re right about – it can be really difficult to look back. But how we grow from it is a testimony to God!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  17. Indeed! The sun will come out tomorrow. Your sun is out, my friend. And you are touching hearts and lives in a more serious and positive way. I think God has you exactly where he wants you. Of course, you do get controversial every now and again. But for the most part you inspire me more than you’ll ever know. God bless.

    • Thanks Noel! Oh gosh, you’re kind to say that. Wow – I am humbled. God definitely will lay a path before us 🙂 thanks for stopping by!! Hugs and love xox

  18. Great musical number, one of my favorites from that production. Great post. I like how you shifted from the “sun will come out tomorrow” theme to the biblical message “I know the plans that I have for you.” Will we get to hear the duet here on your blog? Would love to.

    • Thank you so much! That’s a great idea! I will see if I can link to it if it’s online when the time comes!! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much!! Such a great karaoke song! If it ever comes online I will definitely share! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  19. It is so nice to have an opportunity to “do it again”. You are blessed to have such a chance to revisit the good ole days. I see that your hook then, and even now, is your eyes. Those eye melt the hardest of any. I wish to you the best and keep on working on your goal. Love ya bunches.

    • Aw thanks Tony. Belting out hehe that gave a smile. Nice pun there, my friend. Well played 🙌🏼🤗😁🥰

  20. We all hope in something, striving for hope; waiting for hope. I’ve followed this blog for some time now, and I’m sure that I, and others following, are eagerly expecting that tomorrow moment for you as well. What’s interesting to me is that by the time you get to the moment you expected, you will probably be able to realize all the ‘hope of tomorrow’ bombs you have dropped for others along the way.

    • I think you’re so right about that, Nathan, when it comes to hope. And wow thank you for saying that. I am truly touched. Grateful for you! Hugs and love xox

    • Isn’t it such a comforting and powerful verse! It’s like a warm hug of reassurance! Hugs and love xox

  21. In my 30’s I realized how far away those high school dreams of “how the world should be”. It is easy to say they drifted away but “torn” would be a better description. I wanted them back! But to recapture them with the life experiences gained along the way. It was a 10-year process to re-integrate them, re-working my thoughts, integrating the “dreams” with the “practical” and ” gained “knowledge”. But it was worth it. And Faith was a central component in that process. -Jeff

    • That’s such a profound realization. Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Jeff. You’re right – the journey is worth it!! Hugs and love xox

  22. Glad to see you are enjoying your weekend from God’s country! I loved growing up in Wisconsin where you can be in a city and half hour away be in the middle of the woods…and of course, there are no fans like Packers fans! Enjoy your time singing with the stars…I bet you were great.

    • Thank you so much Dave 🙂 that’s so awesome you’re from Wisconsin! I love it up north! So true about packers fans! And you’re talking to a big one! Haha Hugs and love xox

  23. Hey B Cubed!
    When I went through a divorce and lost my family, my children, and my career as a Pastor a very caring loving friend of mine introduced me to Jeremiah 29:11!
    I must have said that verse 30 times a day for over a year… trusting God had s plan.
    And He did!!
    Where I am today versus 20 years ago doesn’t even compare!
    Pastoring again, beautiful wife, two fantastic kids, authored 14 books, helped over 101 churches raise 200 million dollars! God had an awesome plan for my future!! And now living in Las Vegas! Only God could have pulled that one off!!
    The Sun came out and it’s been shining ever since!
    Blessings and peace!
    Laugh Often and Fear Not!

    • Hi David, gosh what a meaningful verse that must have been during that trying season. I’m so glad it offered you comfort! And I’m so SO thrilled to hear that you’re in such a wonderful spot now!!!! God is SO good and is using you for big things! PTL!! 🙂 Hope you have a great afternoon! big hugs xo

    • hahha thank you so much Vanessa! crazy the paths our lives take, eh? big hugs xox

  24. Thank you so much for writing your blog posts. You give me courage to continue to heal from my own eating disorder and body image issues. It is a struggle at time, but I know that I am worth it.

  25. This same thing has also helped me continue through a lot of things in life! It’s crazy to be able to put full trust in God that He will work at all things for His glory and give us strength to do so. Thanks for the reminder!

    • Hi Brianna! Thank you so much for sharing your heart – You’re so right about that – He will absolutely give us strength to do so!! Glad that verse has been meaningful to you as well 🙂 Thanks so much for stopping by! hugs xo

    • Hi friend! Thank you so much for your kind words, and for stopping by! big hugs to you xox

  26. Happy after the 4th of July Greetings Caralyn,

    I have to say you again open up and let others see who you are and what you’re about, for which I give you credit for being brave. I think when I was very young I was not as guarded as I had to become over the years due to tragedies and major disappointments in people at times for sure, but even in myself which is more relevant; after all I have control over myself and not another! I see how your past though during different time spans than my own reflects some common connections to illness as well as what seemed to be failure or even fear of being a failure in the highly competitive world of entertainment! I was the one that shut a couple of doors that were in front of me which were unlocked by others to invite me in to a world of opportunity and I only stepped through those doors briefly to then suddenly and without warning retreat and close them behind me! Certain opportunities were made available to me it seems but as much as I always said I wanted that very chance to explore the possibilities within those places because I wanted what could be achieved if given a “chance,” but when push came to shove I think I wanted less challenge and one form or another of addiction be it even just eating too many sweets or thinking about things that distract from our daily mission became a crutch and a better way to deal with the realm of “major pressures” and uncertainties or that real possibility of being a failure in the eyes of others; maybe to even be rejected and not loved, was too much to deal with! They say that in the acting profession many a potential star may not have been able to handle all the rejection when going through the old pounding the pavement daily routine that one must persist at in order to eventually find that real lasting success; or if there was success the mounting fear of only being as good as your last job became a stumbling block! I think whether this happens by conscious or subconscious mechanisms or our own volition vs. outside forces it adds up the same way as far as the sadness we experience knowing what might have been; only if! I guess I have determination but perseverance in those conditions is another story, because I could more easily try to talk myself out of going all the way to the finish line by thinking it’s just not worth all the aggravation and suffering, so why not play it safe and do this or that instead, to have a regular job and situation that I can depend on. I guess many would say I may have quit before I started and it could really appear that way; but through closer examination one would see substantial effort was made but the one factor of “unpredictability” or that idea of are you a gambler and “willing to take risks” does mean a lot.
    All that said, I see hope always and what might seem like a ship has sailed and it’s too late to catch it now, doesn’t mean another ship won’t be nearby again, or maybe there won’t be any need for a ship because you might find that you’re already at your desired destination! The old idea of life is full of difficulties and disappointments but it’s what we make of it all in the end that matters! Just like those disappointments can come along; so too can a wonderful unexpected surprise!

    Lawrence Morra

    On that duet, “Break a Leg!”

    • Hi Lawrence, thank you for sharing your heart on this. You’re right – it’s what we make of it all in the end that matters! hugs x

      • Thank You Caralyn, for not just agreeing but for meaning what you say and saying what you mean! I’ve tried to do that more as I get older and realize time is against us, and when younger we tend to think in terms of having a real handle on this life but we are so vulnerable and lacking; it’s truly a shaky ground we occupy, extremely fragile and all the more reason to spend as much time as possible drawing closer to the Lord and take on the power of the Holy Spirit, blessings, grace and insight; that will only come from Him our Savior and only Salvation! Amen

      • Yup, sometimes just have to accept things as they are and make the best of it! As they say it could always be a whole lot worse! Dear Dad told me many years ago when I said maybe I should have done this instead back then then maybe things would have worked out, to which he replied, “and you could be dead now too!” We went on talking but what it all came down to is what; just be thankful for all you have! Isn’t that what Annie says in the story! Of course!

    • hahaha I know I know – my heart is split down the middle. I am a bengals fan through and through, but when in Rome… 🙂 hehe

  27. Amen! The sun always comes up tomorrow. It’s the visibility and showing of God’s consistency. Each day with Him brings a constant change to our life’s with & in Him. It’s consistent once we allow Him to take complete control and fully let go of what He doesn’t wants us to hold unto. Blessings & grace to you sis. Keep shining for Jesus. <3

    • Thanks Tammy!! You’re so right about that! God’s consistency. And I love that thought — that we give Him complete control 🙂 that’s His sweet spot! Big hugs to you xo

  28. Come What May – gave me shivers, well said. Songs like “Dear Younger Me” by MercyMe came to mind. Continue being a lamp of hope, and perseverance to individuals and families who are hunted by ED. The robber, the killer, and the destroyer is not welcome here. With Joy in your heart, you will sing praises.

  29. I’m learning – albeit slowly – to let God take control of my dreams and goals as I love this life. It’s taken 40 years but I’m getting there. To realize that truth in your 20s and be able to see His hand in the decisions and truths is beautiful. Sliding Doors shows how every decision (or lack of one) can have multiple outcomes. Sometimes we just have to pick the one best in the moment, as you did, and move forward trusting it’s best. Congratulations on the part!

    • Thanks for sharing that, Shell. Amen – it is a long process but He is with us every step of the way 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  30. God grant me the serenity
    To accept the things I cannot change;
    Courage to change the things I can;
    And wisdom to know the difference.
    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
    Taking, as He did, this sinful world
    As it is, not as I would have it;
    Trusting that He will make all things right
    If I surrender to His Will;
    So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
    And supremely happy with Him
    Forever and ever in the next.
    — Reinhold Neibuhr

    Choices… You often hear that life’s direction is always about the choices you make and it certainly is – to a point. There are just some things that you can’t control at all – like the vocal issues you had it.

    I guess that is why this prayer / poem makes sense. No amount of planning, etc. can help you have a happy life. I look back at my choices and do think that my life would be different if I had made the choices… but I think that there are somethings about my life now that I do enjoy and like. If my life didn’t go as it did, I wouldn’t be where I am now and I would be missing out on what I enjoy – like your blog. 🙂

    All the choices, the stuff out of our control, etc., have brought us to here and now… The one constant is that our all knowing God is always in control and He aligns us present and our future.

    • I love that serenity prayer so much. We said it everyday at inpatient. Very powerful words. And your right – choices. Thanks for this powerful response. How blessed are we to have a God who is aligning the path for us! Hugs and love xox

    • Gosh thank you for saying that. I look forward to reading that article. Thanks for passing it along. Hugs and love xox

      • Your welcome
        I never did get an email from you?
        Regarding my gf’s condition
        If you’re to busy I totally understand

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