I came upon a post on Instagram the other day that exposed a concerning trend in the faith community. Among women. About women.
In the past month, there have been a number of Catholic women bloggers who have taken to their soap boxes to proclaim that the only holy or right place for a woman is in the home, rearing numerous children, homeschooling them, and only wearing dresses. Basically, shaming any woman working outside the home, or even being so “masculine” as to wear pants – literally.
And, if you’re shaking your head right now in disbelief, know I am right there with ya.
This was brought to my attention by one of my inspirations, Leah Darrow, who highlighted just how harmful and incorrect this way of thinking is, and how it is building walls between women and pitting them against each other.
After reading something this jarring and outrageous, it’s safe to say that it stuck with me for the next several days.
Because it has taken something good and beautiful — motherhood — and weaponized it.
Yes – is motherhood, and childrearing and creating a home a beautiful, noble profession that one day I pray God allows me to do? Absolutely.
But in no way does that equate to putting to shame women who work outside them home. God has equipped men and women with unique and valuable gifts and talents — necessary for the building of the Kingdom. Both sexes have important and vital roles both in the home and in the Kingdom, and how we respond to God’s call for our lives looks different for everyone!
That is the beauty of this life!
Yes, some are called to be wives and mothers. And I know beautiful, incredible women who have responded joyfully to that role God has called them to! But there are others called to be doctors. Teachers. Religious women. CEO’s. Missionaries. Nurses. Scientists.
God created each of us with a unique makeup with skills and talents and passions that are specific to oneself. And our beautifully feminine expression of those gifts and talents are what make us powerfully female.
Because yes, men and women have different attributes that reflect the masculine and feminine attributes of The Maker. That’s not a bad thing! That’s what makes us be complimentary to one another. It’s a symbiotic relationship. A partnership that pairs masterfully. Our feminine genius allows us to do things as only a woman can.
But you’ve heard this from me before.
What I want to focus on is another deeply concerning aspect of this trend of shame from woman to woman.
This chasm that is being created, dividing Christian against Christian, pitting peers against one another. Frankly it’s disgusting.
And sadly, it’s not just in the pants/dress – homemaker/working woman arena.
It’s in church leadership. It’s between Christian denominations. It’s in small groups and bible studies.
There is this trend of divide that somehow seeps into Christian fellowship — be it competitive holiness, shaming certain “others,” feelings of pride or superiority, or being the most “authentic” in worship styles.
It is so easy to fall into that trap of division.
And reading this exposé on Catholic mommy bloggers — it was just so evident to me where all this was coming from: Satan.
The evil one, seeking to divide and isolate, so as to create resentment, hostility, and feelings of shame and unworthiness.
There is nothing more negatively powerful than believing that you are unworthy or feeling overwhelmed by shame. Take it from someone who has been there. In fact, those feelings of shame and unworthiness are what led me down that dark path of anorexia, straight into Satan’s trap that he had waiting for me at that pit of despair.
It is no coincidence, that in this era where this world so desperately needs spiritual leaders that the division between the “Big C” Church family has never been more hostile than ever.
The Church doesn’t trust the Pope. Much of the Church — and the world at large — think the clergy are a bunch of sex offenders, closeted gay men, or pedophiles. Protestants and Catholics are still focused on our differences than similarities. And now, Catholic mommy bloggers are shaming women that wear pants!
This is the work of the evil one! He wants us to forget that we’re all on the same team!
We’re all on the journey towards Heaven, and we all should be doing everything we possibly can to build one another up, and encourage and support one another in our pursuit of holiness.
That is what we’re called to do. One of my favorite gospels is from Mark Chapter 2, where Jesus heals the paralytic man in Capernaum. Most people see this story as a reflection on healing and miracles, but I personally think it’s about the power of friendship.
You see, that paralytic man couldn’t get to Jesus. So four of his friends carried him on a mat to the house where Jesus was, and when they couldn’t get into the door, the friends lowered the man through the freakin’ roof.
Can you imagine!? I mean, talk about some dedicated friends!
That is the type of support we’re supposed to have for one another. We are to do whatever it takes to help get our loved ones close to Jesus.
That is what it means to be a Christian friend. Not creating division, and promoting a culture of shame and isolation.
And that’s coming from a working woman in pants.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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190 responses to “The Divisive One”
This is upsetting. I think there are still many that want to control women’s bodies and minds because it’s a threat to the construct of masculinity. Tell me if I am not understanding, but God gives one free will and tells us not to cast judgment? Shame on those that shame and then proclaim they are righteous in the name of God.
Great point Earl. We are to love. Not to judge. Hugs and love xox
Satan laughs when believers bicker with each other, no doubt. I hope I live long enough to see varied Christian factions actually LISTEN to each other– to our shock and amazement, we’d find out how similar we truly are. Most of our disagreements come from self-imposed shackles (walls) that just get in the way of true progress. Nicely done. Hugs and love– Mike
You’re so right about that. Listening is so important! Thanks Mike for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
That’s a really big lump of coal, Caralyn. And I agree with Front Porch Writer too.
Thanks John – haha yeah it’s crazy to think how it got there! Nature is amazing. Hugs and love xox
Legalism loves to rear it’s head in the family, especially when it come to parenting. I was in a group similar to this, not Catholic, but same ideas about motherhood. Thankfully God kept me from going too deep into it, but I was definitely influenced for a long time. God is not nearly as concerned about parenting choices as he is about your saving faith in Him and his son Jesus Christ. Follow Jesus with your whole heart and let him guide you, not some legalistic teachings.
I think you’re so right about that. He just wants our hearts! Hugs and love xox
Well said. 🙂
Saw your posts about your trip to CR. That looks so much fun. Did you go on the zip line adventure that takes you through the jungle?
Thanks so much! Yes! We did and it was incredible!! We saw monkeys!!! Hugs and love xox
Wooooo! Feel so jealous. Xoxoxo
So jealous xoxoxo
Caralyn, well said! Our main focus, needs to be Jesus, Father God and the Holy Spirit. If we focused on dying to our flesh daily and humbling ourselves, we would love one another. Mercy triumphs over judgment. Too often we are filled with pride rather than love! hugs and love!
Thanks so much – you’re right about that – we need to focus on Jesus and the rest falls into place! Hugs and love xox
You are welcome! XO
It’s so crazy this weird doctrine still endures, but it’s in some sects of Christianity blatantly, but in other sects are a bit more subtle. Where do you suppose they get this justification from in the bible? It never sat well with me when I was in leadership and there were discussions revolving around the role of a woman. Even the phrase, “Role of a woman”, bothers me, but I digress. There was this push for men to be a domineering force and I have never liked that. I’ve always thought relationships should be give and take and equal. The best leaders make decisions with everyone’s sign on or input, the worst make the decisions regardless of what others think. That’s how I’ve always seen it play out well in the natural world so I’ve always believed that.
Thanks Peter for sharing your heart. I definitely can understand where it’s coming from. Motherhood is absolutely beautiful and noble. I just don’t like the bloggers who shame women who work! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
For sure! How do they justify said shaming though? Is there a particular passage that’s interpreted fundamentally or is it more of a traditional thing? I don’t know much about catholicism. When I was growing up in Christianity, it was more of a woman should remain silent, not in leadership yada yada yada. It wasn’t taught from the pulpit, per se, but it was modeled in one church in particular that I attended.
I don’t know! Doesn’t seem kind
You are SO right, Caralyn, that Satan is at the bottom of such controversies as you highlight here. Julius Caesar, who said “Divide and conquer,” described perfectly the devil’s strategy. We must not allow him to have the victory! But how do we reach consensus when both sides feel they’re right and offer proof-texts for their positions? The apostle Peter gave us at least one possible response: seek peace and pursue it (1 Peter 3:11). And Paul gave us another when he told two women in disagreement, “Be of the same mind in the Lord” (Philippians 4:2). Perhaps some responders to those blogs will be able to calmly and lovingly draw attention to the importance of unity in the body of Christ. That can be accomplished when we focus on our commonalities, and leave the lesser matters between the individual and God. Meanwhile, we can pray for one another.
Thanks Nancy – amen – be of the same mind in the Lord!! I love that so much. Yes! Unity!! Joining you in prayer! Hugs and love xox
Excellent post. This may be new to Catholic circles but it’s been around for a long time. It’s an attempt to redefine what being a Christian means, and to create an alternative culture to “the world”. At least that’s what they say. The Amish are an example of this.
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this. Yeah – I think there is a healthy balance and supportive community to be found 🙂 Hugs and love xox
In my journey of spirituality I have come across many Christians who were uneducated about how important a role women played in the very early years of christ’s ministry. I mean the first person to see Christ after his resurrection was Mary Magdalene. Sometimes in organized religion, the source material is watered down via interpretation. I would encourage all christians to revisit the earliest writings on christ, he is surrounded by strong independent women.
Your pagan friend, Karac
Thanks Karac for sharing your thoughts. Yes – Mary was the first evangelist! And the Bible is full of strong women! Hugs and love xox
It is surprisingly because I personally know certain Catholic mothers who wear pants and see nothing bad about it.
I believe those women are only using it to give something bigger, a deeper pain which makes them shame their fellow women.
Thank God for the game of hell will never prevail over the church.
Thank you for this!
Amen – God is victorious over the evil one. And I think you’re really into something there. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
A great share. Too many people are so much about their egos these days.
Thanks JB. You’re right about that. Hugs and love xox
You are welcome. Hugs and love to YOU!!
xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂xoxo 🙂
hahah love it
I love it too.
Thank you for this post, Caralyn. Division and extremes are everywhere these days. We forget that truth nearly always resides in the middle.
As a practicing Catholic and someone who has struggled with body image, I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts on the modesty/clothing debate. There’s such a spectrum in the Catholic and Christian communities on this topic and I’ve often wondered what you thought. I think your experience would be really valuable to the conversation.
Thank you friend for sharing your heart. Yeah division is the biggest tool of the evil one. That’s a great question. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggling with that – I definitely feel you. I’ll work on a post about it! I def have some thoughts! Hugs and love xox
Thanks, Caralyn. I realize I worded that poorly- I meant to say that your experience as a practicing Catholic and someone who has struggled with body image would be a valuable perspective when it comes to the modesty debate.
God bless and I look forward reading your post!
Not to worry, i totally gotcha! 🙂 xox
Hmmm, I (laura) grew up Catholic and do not remember anything about dresses only, but then there will always be a group within a group, or maybe things are a changing…..
Hi Laura! Yeah this was something going around some catholic women’s blogging circles. I haven’t been exposed to it either. But it just gave me pause. Thanks for stopping by! Big hugs to you xox
There is always some weird smaller groups that start up for sure.
Great post Caralyn. Though I can’t endorse many teachings of Catholicism, I believe we have an obligation to dialogue with all parts of the Body. We are to move toward others in love, not build walls to separate us.
I’ll refrain from comment on the ‘role of women’ debate except to say I tend to be in the more traditional camp. However, I recognize that the role of women is as much a cultural born as anything else. And contrary to some views, there is no “Christian culture.”
Well put Catalan, Satan loves it when we focus on some ridiculous differences and make it a thing which becomes a so called definitive of walking the righteous path.
Jesus is the only one who makes us worthy, let us build each other up and focus on being more Christ-like.
Satan is the perfect politician — the sower of discord, the bearer of false witness, the disinheritor of the meek.
You’re right about that, Bill! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
No doubt! You always post some insightful material. I know you were cover this issue about division and it extends so far beyond this specific example. People get so caught up in our differences instead of what I would call our “sameness”. Hopefully people take pause and apply this to all areas of our modern life. Cheers good work!
Thank you so much 🙂 I think you’re right! Let’s focus on sameness! Hugs and love xox
Been looking forward to your passionate heart bursting forth in wise poetic beauty. And this is another worthy cause you captured beautifully with power. The enemy loves it when we divide ourselves and he can conquer. I am a doctor and a homeschooling mom who wears dressed maybe weekly. The truth is always somewhere in the middle of the two extreme sides of an argument. God always looks at our hearts and measures us by how passionate our love is for Him, and an afterthought is what we did with the gifts He gave us to use for Him. We must love Him passionately and then do what He has designed us to do. The rest of life happens in their natural course. The rest is quite frankly BS and only serves pride and division, neither of which are from God. Great post, beautiful friend! As always, love you. Hugs! XO😄❤
Thank you so much Tonya 🙂 you’re absolutely right – division is the evil one’s biggest tool. And amen – there is a middle ground full of mystical understanding, respect and unity and I pray that we can get there!! I love this perspective so much. Thanks for sharing! Love you dear friend!!!! 🥰
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Thanks Tonya for the link up! Hugs and love xox
Welcome to the TURF’s Caralyn their a right wing religious group running a muk all over the place with their own idealogy of the Bible and how people should live there lives according to them, there nothing more than another hat group hiding behind the Bible. 😞
BY FOR NOW
Thanks for sharing that Dawn – I pray that our community of believers can seek what unites us!! Hugs and love xox
Your welcome dear, I long for the day when we can all live as equal people together. 🌹
BY FOR NOW
I do too! 🥰🥰🥰
“We’re all on the journey towards Heaven, and we all should be doing everything we possibly can to build one another up, and encourage and support one another in our pursuit of holiness.”
Thank you!! Yes let’s build one another up! Hugs and love xox
There is a tendency around the world these days to redefine the role of women in society and take us back to the dark ages where women are owned chattels in this so called enlightened age. The real danger is when this conservative element unites with government to legislate their agendas. Yes women are entitled to express their God given talents in a way that brings them fulfillment and God rejoices at healthy ambition. The conservatives need to remember when Eve was taken from Adam’s side it was symbolic of an equal relationship not a subservient one. I cannot understand women actually wanting to place their peers as subservient under a religious cloak. It’s unhealthy to abdicate women’s own equal status and forcing it on others is unforgivable. There are millions of families around the world where both have to work just to eat and survive. Picking on the women in that partnership who have no choice but to work on religious grounds is unacceptable.
Thanks Ian for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – from the side, as an equal. Not from the foot or from the head. But the side. Hugs and love xox
Well said Caralyn. It is not bad enough that “Catholic believers and Protestant believers” in Christ put each other down. Then, different denominations put each other down. (In typing the previous sentence, rather than denomination, my fingers “demonination”):which seems very appropriate. 😞
Now it appears to be a battle of women against women. And all claim to love, follow, and serve Jesus Christ.
We certainly know the end times, and the return of Christ is getting close. Scripture informs us.
21 “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. 22 And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved.
That is our warning that the enemy of our souls is going to do everything in his power to disrupt, disturb, and fragment the Body of Christ any way he can.
We need to learn to look TO Christ alone, and not AT each other.
It needs to be realized that satan knows the Bible well. He will take portions out of context, twist the words and cause confusion, all with the purpose of breaking the Body of Christ.
It is to be remembered that each part of the body is necessary for the entire body to be healthy. If a toe is broken, one cannot walk properly. (That could be a small criticism made). Or it could be slamming an entire group of people who dress differently. (That could be possibly compared to loss of vision).
Any way which hurts other parts of the Body of Christ, hurts, and breaks the unity we are to have. That kills our Joy as Christ followers, and increases happiness in the demonic world.
Please, we need to show “not yet” Christ followers we do get along as a family should, and as Christ planned.
God’s Blessings Caralyn,
Keep on, Keepin’ on for Jesus.
Thank you so much George for sharing your heart. Oh yes – an unfortunately appropriate slip. We need to focus in what unites us and be a family like Christ planned!!! Love these verses so much. How incredibly powerful and telling. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
I read and follow Cynthia Bourgeault. She asks us to take a look at an idea from traditional Christianity—the formula of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—as though we’re looking at it for the first time. She reveals it to be something we hadn’t expected at all. Cynthia finds in the idea of the Holy Trinity a striking vision of the nature of reality. Embedded within this doctrine that Christians recite mostly on autopilot lies a powerful metaphysical principle that could change our understanding of Christianity and give us the tools so long and so sorely needed to reunite our shattered cosmology, rekindle our visionary imagination, and cooperate consciously with the manifestation of Jesus’ “Kingdom of Heaven” here on earth. She looks to the history of Christian theology, to her own years of contemplative practice, and to the ideas of G. I. Gurdjieff. Her tone is as accessible as it is compelling, and it’s a wild ride.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I do not follow her. But I will look her up. The Trinity is a beautiful example for us. I appreciate you stopping by!! Hugs and love xox
Thanks 🙂 glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
“There is nothing more negatively powerful than believing that you are unworthy or feeling overwhelmed by shame.” Love this line!
Thank Madison. That line comes with a lot of history!!! Haha glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
Good morning, Just read your very powerful post. I’m a woman who’s raised two wonderful sons and now is blessed with four fantastic grandchildren, who embraced wholeheartedly my role as wife, mother, homemaker, BUT who also has a few degrees, was a Primary teacher, worked in admin, was part of a group that trained professionals and students on aspects of mental health, and a few things besides. We are all the sum of our parts. If we don’t have the freedom (of our own making or others) to explore and expand on our gifts then we will struggle to be ‘the whole’ that could be our destiny.
I would define myself as spiritual rather than religious. I have read the Bible twice and cannot recall reading that women were to be home-bound. Some of the most powerful people are women, and they did not eschew ‘working’ rather than being totally bound up with motherhood. On the other hand, in the centuries covered in the Bible there was very little that a woman was called to do outside the home; that does not mean that view should still be relevant. As for trousers, in Biblical times men did not wear trousers, unless they were workmen. That’s evolved, so why not for women?
Have a beautiful day. The sun is just rising here in North Wales and it promises to be a glorious day.
Hi Marilyn, thank you so much for sharing your story. I love that so much – we are a sum of our parts! amen amen amen!!!! Thanks for stopping by, hope oyu have a beautiful day! big hugs xo
There will always be those who want to argue that the Bible says that women are not to work outside the home. In fact, I even found a website that ranted on and on citing chapter and verse, (out of context I might add), to support its claim.
Let me, however, point out what we find in the Bible itself when we look at the godly women who worked:
Acts 18-Priscilla, wife of Aquila, worked with him as a tentmaker along with Paul;
Acts 16-Lydia-merchant who sold purple
Romans 16-Phoebe, the “patron”
Keep in mind that these are just example that are cited in the New Testament alone and also include just a few women with whom the writers of the books of the BIble and therefore members of the first century church would have had direct contact with. It says nothing about women not known to these men, those of the Old Testament, or any since. Furthermore, these women were all instrumental in the growth of God’s Kingdom and certainly did not do it as a result of being housewives and mothers exclusively.
May God continue to richly bless you in your service to Him.
Rev. James M. Dakis, D.Min.
Thank you James for sharing this insight! so true – and i love that Mary Magdaline was the first evangelist too! hugs xo
I grew up Catholic but I am a born-again Christian. I chose to stay at home like my husband wanted. I see nothing wrong with a woman working. There are many examples in the Bible of women working. Honorable women.
My mother-in-law told me many times I should work and help my husband earn money. Money is her and my father-in-law’s focus. Anyhow… I felt so bad for years that I was not working though it was a decision my husband and I made. At some point, I stopped caring about what she thought.
I am not crazy about pants, but it is not for me to judge.
Not only am I not to judge, but I also don’t allow myself to put down others and I try very hard to never gossip. It is a struggle at times.
It is my place, according to God Himself to LOVE others. THAT is my job. He takes care of the judging and the correcting.
No one should be putting another down. Life is hard enough. Women should be lifting each other up. It is unfortunate that many women, no matter their faith, are destructive to each other. Well, they are not so nice to each other and don’t lift each other up.
I always love reading your posts and pray you will continue to be inspired to write.
Take care of yourself and may God bless you <3
Thank you so much Jackie for sharing your heart and your story. You’re so right – we are called to love. Period. I love that you were able to do that. One day, if God blesses me with a husband and children, I hope to be able to stay home to raise them as well. 🙂 yes! lets life one another up! big hugs xo
I loved this! https://jhward.net/2019/09/06/lifes-hurdles/ I thought you might enjoy this.
thanks friend! looking forward to reading it. hugs x
Thank you 🙏
really do hope you like it.. nothing grand but was just being honest.
I’m not sure how you ever find the time to reply at all. You seem so busy, thank you for finding the time.
haha absolutely!! I’ve been lagging a bit lately — big things coming up which I will be sharing about on Monday!!! but yeah, i love responding!! 🙂 have a great night! xox
I’ll be looking forward to see it. Have a great night xoxo
Thanks for your post. I am a Catholic and I agree that we all have a different calling. I believe that I’m called to be a mom, because I am blessed with 4 kids. But at the same time, I’m also called to be a nurse, a Preacher, an adviser, a teacher, a friend etc. And yes I also agree that we are supposed to be helping each other in our journey towards heaven….that is our main calling…I believe😊
Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story! four blessings! that is so awesome! amen to that! we all have different callings, equally important, and equally beautiful!!! hope you have a wonderful weekend! big hugs xo
Yes! Well said! We should be building each other up as it says in 1 Thessalonians and helping each other any way we can.
Thank you Diana! Amen! building up the kingdom through love! hugs xo
You’re welcome, my friend! 💙
Your posts continue to blow me away! Our world, sadly, is so divided in many years. Christians are “tasked” to love one another and not be divided. In terms of “a woman’s place,” I believe it’s not practical in 2019 for a woman to stay home with their child or children, as the costs of living continue to (unfortunately) increase. If given the chance, I would love to be able to stay home when Al and I have kids. However, we had that exact conversation years ago, and I’ve accepted the fact that I will likely have to keep working. But, I’m grateful my new job has generous benefits, including a day care savings account. It’s one of many reasons I accepted the job.
Oh gosh thank you so much Laura Beth 🙂 You’re so kind to say that. Amen – loving one another is what we’re called to do. Period. Oh wow, that’s awesome that your company is so proactive and supportive! sounds like you’ve found a winner 🙂 Sending you so much love and hugs xox
I feel really good about this change. It was so stressful – Resigning from a company that I originally didn’t think I would leave, ever. I worked for them for almost seven years. But, just in this first week, there’s already such a radical difference and so many good things. God put this in my life at the right time! Hugs!!
I’m so glad you’re feeling good about it!! God is good and is always working behind the scenes for us! 🙂 hugs xo
Thank you so much! XOXO
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Thank you so much for the link up! hugs xo
When we were expecting our first child, my wife and I had an agreement; whoever was making the most money would stay working and the other would stay at home with the baby. In2019 it’s a much tougher decision. Many families need two incomes. But the financial cost of day care and – I think – the emotional cost outweigh paying someone else to raise your child for you and instill them with values and attitudes you might not agree with.
Does squeaking by on one paycheck present challenges? Yes! But my wife has always said that a parent’s job is to give their children good memories. Parents can do that better than strangers.
Hopefully, everyone sees here that the important thing is what you’ve stated – moms and dads need to work together to make that happen! We sacrificed together; I can’t remember how many potato and Velveeta dinners we had, but we made that and other decisions together.
Condemning how others choose to deploy their marriage for family doesn’t start such discussions. It kills them. Thank you for bringing this up, Caralyn!
Hi Jeff! Thank you so much for sharing your heart – you’re right – working together is what matters – as does supporting others as we journey towards Heaven. it’s hard enough to be “in the world” as a Christ follower – it’s insult to injury to have other Christ followers condemning or passing judgement. We should be lifting up our brothers and sisters! hope you have a great weekend! hugs to you and your girls! x
And back to you!
I think a lot this also stems from people simply not knowing how to live anymore. That also is a work of the evil one.
I think that is a really profound insight. thanks for sharing that. big hugs xox
This is a difficult topic to navigate. The emphasis should be on building each other up and not tearing one another down. Having been a stay-at-home mom, I often found myself having to justify that. It was my husband’s and my decision and I have never regretted it. God brought along several ways to augment our income and challenge that brain of mine along the way. I was constantly amazed at his provision. That said, it makes me sad to think of this trend and how divisive it is. God did not make a one-size-fits all description of being a woman. I know lots of women who have a great career and a family. The challenge is to keep the family first, and that challenge is for men and women. That looks different for everyone. I hope that women who have a calling to be home with their children instead of in the work force will embrace that and not give up because of the financial part. I also hope they will be comfortable wearing pants. Shoot, I’m wearing shorts right now. Shocking! Truthfully, it is expensive to pay for childcare. Yes, we did give up some financial gain for me to stay home, but that’s where you have to look at what is important to you and how you want to live. For me, I’d have been a wreck keeping up with work schedules and children’s schedules. I don’t think it would have been a peaceful house. That’s me. I encourage my grand daughters to go to college, to look for a career, and more importantly to set their eyes on Jesus. If God gives them husbands and children, then I will continue to encourage them to be workers at home. This does not exclude working out of the home, but I believe Titus 2 gives us a good idea of what God is looking for. And if you’d like me to elaborate on what true submission as a wife looks like, I’d be happy to in a different conversation. It’s tricky! God bless you, Caralyn.
Hi Bonnie, thank you so much for sharing your story. I think building a home is so beautiful and a noble profession – one i hope to do one day! You’re so right – we need to focus on building one another up!!! we’re all brothers and sisters in Christ and on the same team! so glad you stopped by and joined the conversation! hugs xo
Yes men and women have their roles but this type of confusion or misinterpretation of the scripture, comes when one uses their own human intelligence to understand God’s word. God’s thoughts are not the same as ours (Isiah 55: 8-9). The only way to know his ways is to be in the spirit (John 15:4). It is the holy spirit that will give you the true meaning of a scripture (John16:13). The flesh cannot connect with God nor can it please God (Romans 8:8) That is why true worship is to be done in spirit and truth (john 4:24). But this was a lovely post, keep it up!
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I agree – scripture is God Breathed and the HS will help us see. Thanks for stopping by! hugs xo
Hopefully the dear old Pope will declare 2019 legit. As this is where most of us exist. I feel so sorry for the relidgizly oppressed.
Thank you Pete for sharing your thoughts. Glad you stopped by! hugs xo
Another great post.
Thank you so much Amanda! hugs xo
Excellent post … Sarah Sanders, for Press Secretary for the president, talked about being publicly confronted over Trump support: ’99 percent’ of attacks are by women
Thank you so much! Oh wow — that is a startling — and very telling — statistic. wow. thanks for stoppping by! hugs xo
Well done. Very thoughtful piece. Yes, Satan is at work dividing us and his traps are all too easy to fall into. I see this time as one where reason has been overtaken by emotion. Reason takes thought, emotion is just a reaction. I haven’t read the blog to which you refer, but whatever happened to a person saying “This is what I believe and although you may have chosen a different route, hear me out.” It’s hard to win converts to one’s opinion when one is shaming.
Thank you so much Sandman for sharing your thoughts. You’re right – dividing is what he tries to do. We must build one another up! There’s no place for shaming in the Body of Christ! hugs xx
Shoot, I’ve been railing against the mommy wars for years. Breastfeeding moms are good, formula feeding moms are heinous; cloth diapering moms are good, Pampers are evil… Big picture: God has put moms (and all people) into circumstances that can (and should) lead them to become more Christlike. This comparison trap is nothing but self-righteous Pharisee-ism. And it’s gross. Christians (especially women) have GOT to stop biting and devouring one another. Another great post, you nailed it, lady.
You’re so right, Eden – there can be so much judgement out there, it makes me so sad, becuase we’re all on the same team and should be cheering one another on!!!! Amen! Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing your heart! big hugs xo
A good Instagram post by Leah Darrow –
I want to love (my future partner) such that she feels confident and safe for her own creative path forward with Holy Spirit
Thank you David, yeah she’s got a great feed.
Yeah I have just had a further read and absolutely
Imagine what God’s people could do if they stopped fighting God’s people.
oh my gosh, Matt — truer words!! You are spot on. thanks for stopping by! hugs xo
It’s. Actually a large part of cultural tradition of Mennonite and Amish to keep traditional hetero roles. I don’t think they believe they’re worshipping the devil. Although, you might refer to a separate macro culture, with a shared religion but different belief system that wants to be Amish. In short, it works for Amish but they are even feeling pressured because their belief system is an extension of their Anabaptist roots from Germany. In the 1100’s or, so.
I don’t think, you’re wrong for believing division is the devil’s work. There’s just, very few Christian macro cultures that live truly what they preach. Amish being one of them and Mennonites, being Amish “Light.” See. Culture starts with religion and from religion we get a set of life rules and these rules balance and sustain a community. The issue, and I’ve read your article a few times is, females roles throughout the Church. Big C. Although, the big C creates a single identity of Christian belief. The macro cultures of different beliefs are decided by separate communities with separate belief systems like, Amish. Do, Amish have a soapbox? No. They don’t buy soap they make it. 🎤😁
Hi Kenzie! Great to hear from you! Thanks for sharing your heart and insight on this. Yeah, division is one of the evil one’s tools for sure. hahah they make it – that makes me smile. You bring up a lot of great points here – Big C, Big Umbrella Christianity definitely has a lot of smaller offshoots for sure. Lots to chew over – hugs xo
Division. Tribalism. Is very human. Not to say there is no Devil. Like, your area Chelsea is the most expensive place and in mine is Paradise Valley. Bunches of rich people priced out the nearby inhabitants creating a division to create a community. They didn’t actually advertise they did this but Ben & Jerry’s costs twice as much. 😂 Paradise Valley became rich just after the baby boom and Chelsea about a century before that.
Evil. I’m just, not sure if we agree on the same definition of it. Every addict I’ve met called their actions a possession without ownership of those actions or of their consequences. We have more forethought of the grandeur of the supernatural than the divisions we live within like Paradise Valley and Chelsea. Simply, to condemn a group inside a community for it’s exclusion and to exclude actual communities built on exclusion seems unequal in your condemnation.
I feel like you, could have stretched this out into a few posts. It feels, claustrophobic. 😂 I still like, you though. You’re alright.
Here’s a thought.
St.Joan of Arc wore a man’s tunic, hose and armor. When she was captured and asked why she dressed like a man, she replied,”Dress is but a small matter.” When she was told that she could not attend Mass unless she wore a dress she said, “the dress of those who receive the Sacrament can have no importance.”
It is believed that she dressed like a man because it was more modest to do so given the mission God had entrusted to her as the General of an army of men.
Purity of intention seems to be what really matters.
Source: How Cross-Dressing Helped Send Joan of Arc to the Stake by Joan Vos MacDonald
Thank you so much Elf for sharing this insight! Wow, what a powerful testimony with her life. Definitely a lot to think about! Big hugs to you xox
Reading this chilled me to the bone. Women weren’t born wearing different clothes on they’re lower halfs. Impractical clothing was the invention of men not God, in fact, if you go back to Genesis, all clothes are just a sign of man’s sin, thus it could be argued that being clothed is the work of the devil. By the same measure women wearing trousers is no more evil than men wearing trousers both are a mark of man’s fall from Gods Grace.
However the point of this comment is to say how similar this narrative is to the Islamic attitude of separating women and men to the point where neither are allowed to speak. This is not done to oppress women but in an attempt to raise them onto a pedestal untouchable by any man.
Quite frankly as a hard working woman, who can never physically bear children and is scared of heights these pedestals which male leaders want to place me on scare the pants off me. Everyone knows if you put something on a pedestal it’s only a matter if time till it falls off!!!
Let’s go back to what Jesus would of done. He stopped the death by stoning of a woman who fell off her pedestal I’m pretty sure that if he was
walking around today He would be handing out a pair of jeans to everyone He met wearing a skirt.
Devisions are the work of the Devil walling us off into our own separate hells. Heaven is harmonious meaning we are all one, together, not separated. Jesus taught inclusion. Women must wear skirts and stay at home smacks of exclusion. Jesus didn’t teach exclusion I mean look what He did when He found exclusion in the temple.
Thank you so much Billie for sharing your thoughts on this and joining the conversation. I agree – division is the evil one’s tool, because once a person believes they are alone, or should feel shame, then they are vulnerable to his attacks. We need to build one another up. hugs xox
[…] via The Divisive One — BeautyBeyondBones […]
thank you for the link up! big hugs xo
It’s ideology over substance, such assumption leave objectivity out of the question, a chosen path is not is not referendum, still the narrow minded who will condemn them.
Conversation over confrontation, actions before indoctrination, free will
should never render to the presently pushed agenda.
(I saw your holiday video you and the ladies looked like y’all was having a good time, I liked the place were you stayed, you were just glowing you need to do that more for sure)
Hi Sandymancan! I think you’re right about that – openminded community is of utmost importance. Aterall, we’re all on the same team….God’s!! 🙂 hugs xo
Great article with plenty of insight and wisdom. You nailed it – and you usually do. Thanks
Thank you so much John! i appreciate you stopping by! 🙂 big hugs xox
Let me say in my humble opinion dear Lady; that there is no doubt about it Satan is working overtime and nothing or no one is so sacred that its hands off now. Let’s not forget he even tempted Jesus in the desert, so we are child’s play to him. This division is all over the planet now and the same old strategy of divide and conquer is being applied in earnest as you have illustrated. I see it daily throughout, in my community and even families; moreover for many years the attacks have even been more personal for me, and now his horns are out in front of me again as I battle powerful corrupt entities that have done and are doing severe damage along with causing more of this division in spades! Ultimately we children of God by our own devices fail miserably and of course Satan knows this; so there is always an in for him to toy with or tempt us, and as you said seek to divide or separate; though not only each of us from one another but in our very thoughts and beliefs! I’ll admit it even looks like an insurmountable problem at this point the way this world is going, and that in and of itself means the only answer is or can be, Jesus Christ, there never was or will there be any better more absolute answer to all of our troubles, pains and suffering! Amen.
Thank you Lawrence for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – the evil one even tempted Jesus! And he did it by getting Jesus alone in the desert — divided, away from His community. That’s the evil one’s biggest tool. We need to support one another now more than ever.hugs xo
Community can be fellowship and it can also be the blind leading the blind. We all know firsthand by now how badly that can work out by just what our eyes and ears see and hear with the Dem party in our Great Nation under God. Evil and especially the Evil One make no allowances for man-made convention or behavioral patterns. The devil is always tricky taking any opportunity to not only divide but to fascinate, mesmerize and delude with a craftiness that would make Einstein’s head spin! Moses actually went up on Mount Sinai several times to meet God as recorded in Exodus 19 through the end of the book. He spent all of this time alone but was with the Spirit of God as a chosen one. We know how the Israelite’s strayed while in their community, especially when Moses’ was away from them. But throughout history we can observe that this same kind of thing has happened even after the Old Testament was overshadowed by the Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I’ve spent countless hours and month’s at times alone sometimes out of circumstance or necessity and other times by choice. Some of my greatest insights and shaping of my inner being or character have occurred when alone. I do have to include that not all are to follow the same path, as we are all here to serve and love God and only He knows what is best for each one of us so he is all we must abide in and trust in with all of our hearts, as He will judge each of us by our hearts! Only He can lead us unto paths of righteousness and is the greatest teacher, leader, friend, protector and indeed Father! After all there is nothing more omnipotent than what Jesus said that I pointed out here in this Blog, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit,” when He was nailed on that cross taking His last breaths in this dying world! What we must recognize is that our lives are short and bitter or sweet according to mere human convention but they are complete only as they are in “standing” with our Heavenly Father who is the Almighty and knows all things! So being alone or following a specific path that the Lord lays out before us and leads us through until He is finished with each of us here on this earth is all that matters, NOTHING else means anything unless we are walking with Him and doing His will. Too many distractions can lead any of us away from that core and most important mission while we live our lives that will end up being either fulfilled with earthly conventions or filled with Him. If I or any of us walk with Him in that way there is NOTHING that can stop or interfere with His will for any one of us. I know what you say is true perhaps with some and not with others because that is not the question of being alone or separated, separated can mean different things and different people will not be in their appropriate place if doing so. The evil one didn’t get Jesus to do anything, He was looking for opportunity to tempt or interfere with Jesus and His mission or the will of His heavenly Father in the desert and when He carried His own cross among His people. Jesus was insulated from the evil one and any interference He might unleash because Jesus was walking with the Holy Spirit of His heavenly Father at all times, something we can’t do that well or we would all be saints and there wouldn’t be a single squabble among us. We see today so many who do what Scripture clearly says is wrong, verse 10 of Ephesians 2, as well as verses 8 and 9, for proper perspective: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.
Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice…”
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,” Ephesians 2:8
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. …” Matthew 6:1-34
“Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” James 4:13-16
“Shall the axe boast over him who hews with it, or the saw magnify itself against him who wields it? As if a rod should wield him who lifts it, or as if a staff should lift him who is not wood!” Isaiah 10:15
“But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. “ 2 Corinthians 12:9
“But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you.”
“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” Romans 12:3
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
“My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad.” Psalm 34:2
“But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 9:24
I feel inspired to go on dear Lady, but now other duties call, though I will conclude for now that I like you and know we all follow the appropriate paths if we are standing with Him knowing by the Holy Spirit which will guide us each on our paths to know, serve and love Him our heavenly Father with all of our hearts allowing Him to do His will though each of our lives here in this temporary earthly world of missions for those that are His!
Let’s consider all of these things and again meet to confer with one another in Him, through our truly abiding hearts and souls. Amen.
Brother in Christ,
PS BIG LOVING HUGS to YOU!
I totally agree that women should not be shamed for working, or formula feeding or sending their kids to public school. However, from another perspective, I do think that society as a whole has failed to acknowledge the high calling it is to be a mother and families are suffering for it. On the other side here, I have been highly shamed by others for choosing to homeschool and stay at home with my children. In fact, there’s a survey out in Canada right now that I feel highly disrespects women who don’t work. I wrote my experience out here: https://everysmallvoice.wordpress.com/2019/08/31/that-poor-survey-woman/
I think in the end, we just need to value family, and show so much grace to those who make choices differently than us. We are, after all, all trying our best because we love our kiddos! Shaming on all sides needs to end.
Hi Heather, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this! I am right there with you! I think being a mother is the highest calling, and such a beautiful gift. I hope and pray to be a mother one day, and if I should be so blessed, I pray I am in a situation where I can be a stay at home mom and homemaker. 🙂 I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been shamed for the beautiful way you’re building your home. That makes me so sad. I will absolutely check out your article. You’re spot on – we need to build one another up!!! Big hugs to you xoxoxo
I’m not catholic & grew up Protestant. What you are describing is taking a step backwards for women’s rights period! If you take out the religious elements for a moment, you are still looking at a backward ideology. I wear pants, am a mom, grandmother & spent 12 years in the USMC. This really saddens me that any woman would think this way. Sounds like a cult of brainwash. From the devil. Thanks for the eye opener!
Thank you so much Lisa for sharing your thoughts on this! Wow — what an awesome life you’ve lived thus far!! Girl power for sure!! And you’re right – the shaming needs to come to an end on all sides! big hugs xox
I had no idea that Catholics were shaming women for wearing pants and working outside the home. I have heard of fundamental protestant groups doing it. Why on earth cannot we women just be ourselves? Why do we always end up being the laser target for shaming? Jesus never shamed women for being themselves. He was all about love, acceptance and forgiveness. Where do people come up with half their ideas? Certainly not from scripture! I stopped attending church (protestant) because I felt so very judged for being a single mom (divorced). I have one child as opposed to at least two, so people felt at liberty to question my fertility decision as if it were any of their business never stopping to consider that maybe just maybe my life was none of their business. I tired of being shamed for not fitting into their judgmental notion of who I am supposed to be as a woman. God made me just as I am and I am not ashamed of who I am. The protestant organization Focus on the Family further shames women who do not fit into some unrealistic idea of what women are supposed to be like. Thank you for this information. It has taken me years to fully come to terms with the bullying that church members did to me with their shaming of me. Sadly, I cannot envision myself ever stepping foot in a church. I love God, but the church, well, it has a long, long way to go.
Hi Jenny, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this, and for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve personally experienced the bullying. That breaks my heart. we should be supporting one another –we’re on the same team!! And you’re spot on – Jesus was all about love — we should be too!! Sending you so so much love my dear friend. You are a light 🙂 remember that! hugs xo
Thank you so much.
Hi Caralyn, I just realised that there was typo when I wrote your name. So sorry about that. It was a genuine error.
Oh gosh no worries! I pretty much answer to anything! Haha
You are a sweetie 😘
Romans 10:9-13; God bless you!
Yes! Thanks Mauricio! Hugs and love xox
You must have gone to public school, concerning your bad historic sense of religion in a Land. You might want to read about Thirty Year War that took in much more than Germany? Then the Peace of Westphalia? The Civil War in Spain with 8000 priests executed and two THOUSAND churches burnt. Before that The French Revolution, with what happened to your church then. Did you know what Jefferson and John Adams felt about Catholics? And you think shaming is a crime?
What I get out of this is this — none of us have the God-given right to pass judgement on each other. We’re here to learn how to love and be loved. To lift each other up in the light of our precious Savior. How can a person be glorifying God if they are tearing down one of His children?
You’re so right – to learn how to love and be love. I love that so much! TRUTH! Hugs and love xox
Thank you for this article. I agree that the enemy has caused division in places where there should be unity. This article was raw and real. It was also an encouragement to me. I remember I was once told that by a pastor that I am too busy with my career to invite motherhood and marriage into my life. God has gifted each us individually and we need to believe him and his timing. I am just like you trusting God for marriage and motherhood in his timing. Jesus walked in love with no strings attached. I want to encourage you by letting you know that your voice and testimony are essential to the Kingdom of God. Your story was written by God for him to glorify himself and also encourage others. We each have a responsibility to correct our brothers and sisters in love just as Jesus did knowing that we are making the Body of Christ stronger. Your obedience to God will always be larger and more powerful than the voices of so-called critics. Keep up the good work and I am so proud of you. I am honored to be your sister in Christ.
Thanks so much Ada for sharing your heart on this. I’m glad it encouraged you!! You’re so right – His timing and His plan is perfect 🙂 our plan will unfold in due time!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
Amen! Yes, very true! It’s a trap from the devil himself and if we don’t WAKE UP from our slumber as the Bride of Christ we’ll be lulled by his lies disguising themselves to be “The Truth” when it’s not and will continue to pull us further away from the TRUE TRUTH CHRIST JESUS and from each other into the lake of fire where that is his final destination! I’m glad you addressed this! Continue to be bold for Christ! Blessings & grace!
Thank you! You’re on a reading toll! 🙂 You’re right about that — He is the TRUE TRUTH!!! Thanks for the support! love ya friend! have a great night! bighugs xox
Most welcome! 🙂 yes that’s right! The ONE & ONLY there always was and ever will be! The Holy Lamb of God. <3 lol bless God, no problem! You too, much love!
This is interesting. My son just started at a Catholic school this morning and one of the reasons we chose this school was because we felt so embraced when we visited. The school’s motto is along the lines of ‘try your best and be kind’ and that’s really all we can ask for. This post saddens me; we have so much to battle as people that we shouldn’t be spending our time tearing each other down (over clothing no less).
Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m glad you’re being so embraced at your school!! That’s awesome!! I agree — let’s build one another up! Hugs and love xox
Yes, as Christians we need to celebrate the different gifts that different Christians bring. By honoring both women and men (and any other demographic difference) and recognizing the gifts that each denomination brings, the body of Christ becomes stronger and more able to carry out God’s purposes in the world.
Thank you so much Rhonda — you’re right about that – the body of Christ becomes stronger because of our unique abilities and gifts! Glad you stopped by! big hugs xox
WOMEN WHO MADE THE 20TH CENTURY POSSIBLE💜
REVOLUTIONIZED Computer software – Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. Ushered in Computer science as we benefit from it right now. “We are “Instagram” capable because she paved the way in the 1950’s. Giants were birth out because of her gifts to the world. She birth out more children in the spirit then she could have ever done in the natural.
…Caller ID and call waiting – Theoretical Physicist, Dr Shirley Ann Jackson. (No solar cells, fax machines, fiber optic cables without her)
…Windscreen wiper – Mary Anderson. ( I will praise GOD for her all by myself if need be. Her invention Personally has saved my life, too many times to count).
that’s awesome! thanks for sharing! hugs x
GOD gave them insight in areas where there was no sight. They were created to be AN ANSWER IN THE EARTH.
We need more Answers in the earth.
Thank GOD for the anointing that covered their lives. I thank You LORD for the Spiritual Garments they wore and I Thank You for the women, yet to be known, stepping forward in their spiritual garments to become an Answer.
GOD SEND US ANSWERS💜
Yes! The women yet to be known!!
I wish I could list the thousands whose lives are a reply to their need for answers.
(Forgive me for the space I took up in my reply).
no worries, thank you for taking the time to respond, I appreciate your passion! 🙂 hugs xo
Preach it sister!
thank you so much Dan!! 🙂 hugs xo
This is timely and important. In our day, when secularization is advancing and Christians are being maligned by outsiders, one of the worse things we can do is hurt one another on the inside. Thanks for calling us to unity.
Thank you so much Shayne! I’m so glad this resonated with you!! I agree – unity! Hugs and love xox
Like so many others the problem with these so called “religious” experts is that many have never read,(I mean to any degree of indepth theological study) the Word of God they profess to be experts on. God left us commands for all things, unfortunately man wants Burger King Theology (god, yes I used an intentional small “g”) their way.
Burger King Theology – interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox
I’ve dealt with this from a slightly different perspective. As a stay at home homeschooling Dad, I’ve received comments for years – primarily from men and sometimes from the pulpit – to the effect that it’s a man’s job to make money. Thus implying that I’m wrong for dedicating my days to raising and educating my children. One went so far as to ask me every week if I had “found a job yet”.
I’m not Catholic, but I think these tendencies exist in many religious traditions, the tendency to judge others harshly and without scriptural justification, merely because of their own overly strict opinion of how a family should be structured. It doesn’t help anyone, and hurts everyone involved.