Own It. Claim It.

Well friends, I’ve got to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who said a prayer for me this past weekend! They worked double time!

My talks went great! (If I do say so myself) 😛 But I’m writing this right now just floating on Cloud Nine, in gratitude for such a positive experience.

And I cannot wait until the videos are posted and I can share them with you!

This weekend, I felt like I was right where I was supposed to be — that I was doing what God has put me on this earth to do. That’s a big statement, but I woke up on Saturday morning, and I was overcome with so much peace and determination. I thought for sure I’d be a bundle of nerves, but instead, just the opposite. I felt, instead, that I was in the center of His will for my life.

I was given the beautiful advice before I left, to just get out of the way, to let Jesus speak. What a powerful thought, huh? And that was precisely what I tried to do.

I took away something from this weekend, that is truly life changing. Getting up there and telling my story — I felt so affirmed. The overwhelming reception of love, and compassion I received afterwards — it completely obliterated the feelings of uneasiness and fear I had about sharing about the darkness in my past, leading up to these talks.

You see, I’m going to be honest — even though I write this blog, and have written my book, Bloom — those are still shielded with anonymity — under BeautyBeyondBones. This weekend, I got up in front of people and shared as me, Caralyn. Which was so terrifying, because if I’m being 100% transparent here — I still struggle with so much shame – about having anorexia in my past. I still felt that it was this giant stain on my character. I felt it made this horrible failure as a person — and that I reflected poorly on my family, because I suffered with this “vanity disorder” in high school. Talk about pride getting in the way.

Well, this weekend, I absolutely tore open the shutters and exposed all of that sordid past – as me – owning it. Claiming it. Claiming her. That girl: who struggled with anorexia; who lost all her hair; who went to an inpatient treatment facility; who lied to, manipulated and deceived her loved ones while trapped in her eating disorder; who missed her graduation, and nearly destroyed the body that God entrusted me with — that girl.

Jesus absolutely redeemed that shame and let His light bathe all over it. Over this weekend. Over me.

I was graciously shown — through the loving reception of those wonderful people listening — that my story is not something to be ashamed of, but rather one that shows the incredible victory of Christ. And though I knew that conceptually, for the first time — I truly believed it.

As the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. And friends, this weekend, whether I realized it or not at the time…mine certainly did.

That action – standing up and publicly claiming that girl – communicated to myself that, like the Father, I recognized the worth, and value and dignity as a Child of God in her, mess and all. It was an action of self love. Forgiveness. Healing. Moving forward. And it was a huge victory, that honestly, was carried out entirely by God, himself.

So you want to know why I’m feeling on Cloud Nine? Well there you go — it’s because I’ve finally shown compassion and love towards my former self. I’ve called her out of the cave of shame I had hidden her away in for all these years.

Because after all, I am a new creation — the old has gone, the new has come.

So thank you again for your prayers and for all the wonderful and positive feedback, from those who tuned into the livestream! Reading your messages has truly been such an affirming thing for me today, so thank you to those who sent me a message or DM!

And Memphis — oh my gosh — the people I met at Christ the King were just the most wonderful, salt of the earth humans I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. They welcomed me with such warm, southern hospitality, and I truly felt like family!

Lastly, a big thank you to Jeff King for throwing my hat into the ring at his church, and being such a great host! And thank you to my mama for flying out and surprising me with your attendance this weekend!

I cannot wait to share the videos with you all, when they become available later this week!

Hugs and love xox

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.


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188 responses to “Own It. Claim It.”

    • Thank you so much John! Yeah it was such a special weekend, I’m really grateful to have had the opportunity! Hugs and love xox

  1. Oh Caralyn! I am so happy reading this. God created you beautifully and wonderfully and said he would work everything for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. He is using all these things for the good. I have struggled with a different eating disorder and with keeping weight ON as a mask so I wouldn’t be hurt again physically. When I was a decent weight, I was violated physically more than once. Keeping weight on has been my armor against all that. As I’m taking off the weight I feel vulnerable. Just like you did this weekend, I hope one day to stand and be God’s mouthpiece that he alone protects me.
    As I imagine you giving your testimony, I imagine more and more people set free.
    I am among them. Keep writing, speaking, and living the truth.
    I love you girl. One day, whether on this side of heaven or the other, I intend to sit down and laugh and talk with you.
    Just thank you for being bold & beautiful.

    • Oh Melissa this is so beautiful, thank you so much for such an incredibly encouraging note. I appreciate you sharing your story and your heart. He’s working in you and yes! You will be that mouthpiece! Aww yes I look forward to that day when we can laugh and chat!! 🥰 Hugs and love xox

    • Oh gosh thank you so much!! 🙂 yes! That is how He loves ALL of us!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 i appreciate the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

  2. There’s not much to add to what I wrote to you earlier other than what a joy it was to have you here! And this – I ENCOURAGE ANYONE WHO READS THIS COMMENT TO FIND A WAY TO BRING CARALYN TO YOUR CHURCH OR ORGANIZATION! She was an absolute blessing to so many people here and over the live stream, as we’ve already begun to learn.

    • Thank you Jeff it was truly such a wonderful weekend that i will cherish! 🙂 hahah oh gosh you’re too funny! But yes! I’m all for that!!! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼 have an awesome evening my friend! Hugs to you and your girls!

    • Jeff,
      I wanted to give you a heartfelt “thank you” for inviting Caralyn to speak at your church. As her mom, I remember her journey so well. And listening to her recount so many years of history, from her own viewpoint was not only emotional, but also, I learned so much, embracing “ED” from her viewpoint. Most of all, you deserve a huge “Thank You” for all that went into bringing her in and hosting this event. I came away appreciating how important supporters like yourself can be. Thanks… God is working through you!

      • mom, it meant so much to me to have you in the audience. Thank you so much for flying in to cheer me on. words will never truly be able to express the depth of gratitude I have for you, walking through that season with me, and never giving up on me, and the incredible gift of forgiveness. i love you to the moon 🙂 best friend for life xoxoox

      • Mary, this was all my pleasure. Caralyn tugged at my heart with the pain she endured, and I hoped I could give her something. It’s turned into a friendship that has been refreshing for me! Like you, although I knew her story, this weekend was a revelation hearing it in her voice. Choked me up! I was so thrilled to meet you! What a great mom you are, and Mark a great father! Thank you for sharing your time here with me!

    • I know this is a bit quirky of me, but I just wanted to say hi from a fellow LCMSer and that I would LOVE to have Caralyn speak at our Lutheran high school one day. Thank you for providing this opportunity for her.

      • Not quirky at all! Although most of our conversations are on her blog, we’ve developed a great friendship over the years. I firmly believe it was God’s will. The idea to bring her here just came to me and stayed constantly in my head for a week until I asked my pastor about it! I would encourage you to talk to your principal to see if there’s interest. From there work it out with Caralyn. If he has doubts, get him to watch the recorded sessions once CTK gets them posted. Sunday morning was EXCEPTIONAL! A recovered alcoholic who’s a member told me he’s never seen anything this powerful and meaningful in his 35 years of recovery! We’ve already had feedback from a mother who watched with her hospitalized daughter; it sparked a healing talk. So much more already – no space here. You want her at your school? Go for it!!! I am so glad you wrote to me!

  3. So happy that it all went so beautifully for you Caralyn and that you were a blessing to many people and I am sure felt blessed in return.
    Looking forward to the video.
    Blessings 🤗💙

    • Oh thank you so much!!!! It was such a special weekend – one that I will hold dear! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Jeff!!! That means a lot that you would say that 🙂 have a great night! Hugs and love xox

  4. Caralyn, so good to see you coming out of your comfort zone and sharing your story, with others. The acceptance of yourself (past and present) resounded with me. It is so easy to reject oneself because of mistakes made in the past. Self acceptance is healing and leads to others accepting you. Meeting with a warm reception is healing. Enjoying Jeff, his family and church family is so good. So glad your mom could come and see you triumphant talks. Go Caralyn and fulfill all of your destiny! XOXO Love and hugs!

  5. Oh Caralyn, I am just overjoyed to read your cloud nine words and “hear” your excitement and spiritual high from this past weekend! What an incredible time of sharing your words were for so many and I would say, healing and life changing also for you – for I do think this marks the beginning of your new journey and calling. Congratulations Caralyn, you are an amazing, HEALED AND FREE, beautiful woman and I can’t wait to see where God leads you next! Much love to you <3 <3 <3

    • Oh thank you so much Mindy!!! Healed and Free!! Yes — all glory to God!!!!!! Truly touched by your wonderfully kind words and encouragement. I do hope this is the beginning of a new chapter! Hugs and love xox

  6. God does amazing things when we give ourselves to Him, and then allow Holy Spirit to do His work through us.
    It is such a blessing to hear of your weekend, your blessing others for sure, but also your encounter with God, Caralyn, and what He has further done within you.
    God’s ministry in and through you, is going to grow, my Good Friend, be ready. He is going to take you on a terrific Spiritual ride, guided by Holy Spirit, Honouring Jesus Christ, all to the Glory of Heavenly Father.
    Your life will be taking on roles in ministry you never expected. As well as sharing the
    Goodness of God in Healing you, Caralyn, and restoring your life, likewise He will be touching and healing others with EA of various descriptions and types.
    Beyond that, as you speak, Holy Spirit Power and Anointing will be upon you, He will be speaking through you, and you will have the opportunity, privilege, and blessing of sharing the message of Salvation, and leading many through repentance and into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

    God’s Blessings and Strength my Friend,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️😘

    • Yes He does!! Thank you so much for such an encouraging note George!! I pray that be the case!! Very touched by this my dear friend. Amen – all glory to the Father!! Hope your week is off to a great start 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  7. Yeah for God! He loves us so much and is always replacing us with His righteousness, Jesus Christ!

  8. I am so excited for you Caralyn. Sharing your life, the struggles, achievements, and the power from Him, to overcome and thrive! Maybe you will build on that experience. I think you can do a lot to help folks – particularly Christians, out here in the West.

    • Oh gosh thank you so much Eric for sharing in the excitement with me!!! I would love that! May His will be done! Hugs and love xox

  9. That’s where we do best right? When we flow into His will getting done through us. Just a meaningless voice in the wind, but, still I’m prayerfully proud of you for how well all of this went. 🙂

    • You’re so right about that — flow into His will! Thanks so much for sharing in the excitement with me! Hugs and love xox

  10. Wonderful report. And what you won’t see, or hear about on this Earth, are the numerous people who will make eternal decisions in the wake of your speaking engagement. That’s how His Spirit works and delights in. Proud of you. God’s grip – Alan

    • thank you so much Alan, wow I am humbled at that thought. God bless you, my friend. Amen – The Holy Spirit is always at work! big hugs xo

    • Thank you friend 🙂 yeah me too! It was a great opportunity that I’m so grateful for! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much!! I can’t wait to share the video – it felt so great to share His healing power!!! Our Rescuer!!! 🙌🏼 Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Mike!! Oh gosh, what a kind thing to say 🙂 I pray that be so. Glory to God! Hugs and love xox

    • Aw you’re kind to say that! Thank you! Yeah I can’t wait to share them! I keep refreshing the page to see if they’re up yet! Haha Hugs and love xox

  11. “But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.” Peter 5:10 This passage is essential for anyone in Christianity who has healed. I think it applies to you, and now you get to reap the benefit. You deserve it.

    Your Pagan Friend,


  12. I’m so proud of you Caralyn. You get it now. You know and understand that your past doesn’t define you, and that living behind a veil admits shame, but stepping out in the light of Jesus declares, to the world, victory! I got to see a portion of your Friday night talk. I like the advice you got, and you did just that. You got out of the way and let God shine. People might have seen you, but they heard God speaking truth through you. I smiled, and prayed while rooting you on, but I have a feeling there were a lot more cheering you on from heaven, and I know God is still bragging about you, because He interrupted as I was praying this morning and He said, “Did you see what my Caralyn did this weekend?”

    • Aw thank you so much Mark!! Amen -gotta step out into the light so that Jesus’s victory can be seen!! Thanks for tuning in this weekend!! That means so much 🙂 and gosh I am so humbled by your generous words!!! And oh my gosh! Hah! That’s amazing!!! This just made my night 🙂 thank you for this awesome response. Hugs and love xox

  13. BBB,




    WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU SPEAK TRUTH, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT/, DONT TRY TO PLEASE ANYONE BUT ALMIGHTY GOD. forget a following. People will always feel ur ears and pockets with ‘things that please and are pleasing to the ears’ and if you are not careful they will TAINT YOUR MINISTRY AND bring u down.
    Because thats what they secretly harbor behind their warm smiling faces. I tell u this NOT TO SCARE U, but to protect u.

    God bless.

    • Hi Ben!! Thank you so much for this awesome encouragement!! I am so touched by your generous words. And yes!! An audience of One!! That’s so true — gotta stay focused on the truth and only pleasing God. Thanks for that awesome insight! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much for sharing in the joy with me!! Amen to that! That’s my deepest prayer! Hugs and love xox

  14. you were ready for this and so it happened, and I am the non religious guy cheering you on, women should not fear their form, there is no perfection in humanity, we are what we are, let the world fall away and emphasize the norm, we all, we all are the same in being, and right now we are together … as one

    • Thank you so much David, I do appreciate that encouragement 🙂 no perfection – amen!!! Hugs and love xox

  15. Good morning from Wales to BBB and celebrating with you your emergence as Caralyn – awesome, beautiful, and courageous. Thank you for sharing the experience.
    BTW – love the outfit you decided on. 👗🤗 x

    • Haha oh gosh thank you Ben!!! It was such an awesome experience. I’m so grateful! Glory goes to God!! 🥰 Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Ted!!! I appreciate you sharing in the joy with me! Hugs and love xox

  16. You are already reaching so many with God’s grace and power, but how much farther and deeper that will go (to yourself as well) as shame keeps falling away?! Proud of you, girl, for letting Jesus lead the way and sharing all you learn. It is no small thing!

    • Hi Kara!! Oh gosh what a kind and encouraging note – thank you so much 🙂 God is good! Hugs and love xox

  17. Well done, Caralyn! I had no doubts it would go smoothly because you are so open to the Spirit, and the Spirit always talks through us when he let It.

    • Thank you so much Amy! Aw you’re kind to say that!! Yes! I tried to just get out of His way!! Haha thanks for the beautiful encouragement 🥰 Hugs and love xox

  18. What an awesome testimony. You are such an encouragement. It is awesome to see how the Lord is maturing your faith and strengthening your spirit. Remember the words of Paul, “Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them; for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.” (1 Timothy 4:16). It is a good thing you do, sharing your faith, giving testimony to the grace of Jesus Christ, and encouraging others to keep up the fight. We all struggle with shame from the sinful past that we use to live in. “And such were some of you; but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:11). Our past is a point of wisdom now. We are clean and free in Jesus Christ. Great Job! Sister, proud of you.

    • Oh gosh thank you so much for this wonderful note of encouragement!! Yes! I love those words from Paul — and you’re so right — we’re all on the journey together and are free and clean in Him! Hugs and love xox

  19. I love everything about this post! The sheer freedom you experienced as you took that next vulnerable step into the light as yourself—not behind words on a page, whether here or in your book–but as your self, your voice, your story. God was in it all–I felt it as I read your words–and I found myself cheering you on all the way.

    Well done, my friend. I can’t wait until you post the video!

    • Oh gosh thank you so much!!!! Yes! It truly felt His hand of peace on me this weekend and I am so grateful 🙂 thank you for sharing in the joy with me! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you so much Roshonda!!! I appreciate that. Yes! May His will be done!! Hope you have a beautiful Tuesday! Hugs and love xox

    • thank you so much John!!!! I really appreciate you sharing in the joy with me!! hugs xo

  20. I am so glad you had a great time. And it sounds like you had wonderful experience. I mean that both you enjoyed yourself and had a special moment with God. I am happy for you.

    • Thank you so much William! Oh it was such a lovely weekend and experience. So true. thanks for sharing in the joy with me! hugs xo

    • thank you so much!!!! i appreciate you being excited with me! 🙂 I’ll be sure to let you know when they’re up! hugs xo

  21. Way to go Caralyn! It might sound cheesy but I’m proud of you and I know the Father is pleased. Public speaking is hard enough, opening your soul for the world to see is another but that is how we redeem the years the enemy tried to steal from us while rescuing others at the same time. Own it, claim it -and be free.

    • Thank you so much Dan! Oh gosh, doesn’t sound cheesy at all! I am so touched and humbled 🙂 I appreciate you sharing in the joy with me!! hugs xox

  22. What a beautiful place to have received such a beautiful gal with such a beautiful soul sharing such a beautiful account of the gifts God can give!! ♥️xoxox

  23. “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:20 NIV).

    Awesome Caralyn. God turned your mess into a message. So not just to save you. God is using you to bless and save others. There is no doubt that there are probably many lives who have be touched by your story and this blog – no doubt there will be many more.

    Own your past & Claim your victory.

    • Thank you friend for his wonderful encouragement. I am humbled by your generous words. Hugs and love xox

    • Thanks so much Ed! Gosh what a kind thing to say. I was humbled to have had the opportunity! Hugs and love xox

  24. Proud of you Caralyn!! Memphis was blessed to have you share your story, I miss reading your blog! As I pray that God continues to grow your tribe and that you also continue to grow in your calling through Him, please pray for me… I don’t seem to find time to write on my blog which I abandon when my teaching year started in late August, I know woman need to hear my story too of embracing God’s Grace after living in spiritual bondage so many years. I’d appreciate your prayers! ❤️

  25. Congratulations Girl! And, you know that you owe it all to God! What a long struggle that you have been through and you have been empowering so many others with all that you have experienced and learned!

    • Sorry sent too soon! Yes! It was all Him!! I would not have my recovery without Jesus. Thanks for the beautiful encouragement. Means the world 🙂 xox

  26. When we make ourselves available to God He sends the Holy Spirit to direct our thoughts and actions. This trip was a success because you were on His business and He empowered you. 🙂

    • Hi Ian! Thank you friend – you’re right about that! He sends us the Helper! And what an awesome and generous gift that is! Aw thank you. Amen! Hugs and love xox

  27. “Well there you go — it’s because I’ve finally shown compassion and love towards my former self. I’ve called her out of the cave of shame I had hidden her away in for all these years.” And right there… tears flow and healing begins for so many as they (we) realize that they (we) can also free their (our) former selves! Way to go Caralyn!!! So very godly proud of you and this wonderful, amazing woman you are allowing yourself to be!

    • Thank you so much Shell!!! Yes!! We CAN be free!!! It is possible!! Thank you for sharing in the joy with me and for your incredibly kind words. Means a lot 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  28. Caralyn,

    That was an inspiring testimony. I’m glad you are doing God’s will and sharing your experiences with others. The more trials we get through the more triumphs we have. You are absolutely beautiful and need not ever be ashamed of your journey.


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