International Women’s Day: What it Missed

Well here we are…another International Women’s Day is in the books.

Every year, I’ve got to be honest, International Women’s Day rolls around, and I brace myself for the militant “girl power” I’m going to be slapped across the face with on social media.

You know what I’m talking about: the fists in the air, “patriarchy” rebels that use this day to not just celebrate womanhood — which to be clear, is a beautiful thing — but to attack and belittle men.

I mean, just watch 10 seconds of Taylor Swift‘s new music video, “The Man” — where she spends the entire music video emasculating and ridiculing the male gender — and you’ll see exactly what I’m talking about.

But I always scratch my head and wonder — since when do we have to shit on men in order to celebrate women? (excuse my french)

Frankly, they’re missing the point.

Contrary to my commentary up ’til now, I am very pro-woman. Which seems like a dumb thing to say…it’s like…look, we all came from a woman…we are all pro-woman. DUH

But in light of IWD, I am pro-woman in a very different vein than say, my men-bashing, “p*$$y-power” contemporaries.

I am pro-woman because of the beautiful gift we have as women to bring life into this world.

Because for a long time, I was not able to do so.

One of the things they don’t talk about when it comes to anorexia, is how it impacts the woman’s fertility.

When you are so dangerously low weight, the body goes into survival mode, and does everything it can to merely keep you alive. And that means “shutting down” all your secondary functions in your body. And surprise, surprise, the reproductive system is one of the first to go.

As it did for me. For 10 years – clearly well into my recovery — I grieved the fact that I was infertile. I mourned my womanhood. That was what I believed I was put on this earth to do: be a mom and bring beautiful little babies into this world. And I had to come to terms with the fact that, because of my actions those many years ago, my body hadn’t recovered that ability, due to the trauma I put in through in the eating disorder.

Thanks be to God, that I have since regained my fertility. Yes, in the last two years, my body has fully and completely restored that ability.

Seriously, praise the Lord. Not a day goes by, that I don’t thank God for healing that part of me, once stolen by the anorexia. And I look forward to one day, bringing life into the world.

And so for me, that is what I celebrate on International Women’s Day.

Yes, women are strong, brave, capable of anything a man can do, worthy of equal wages and opportunities, deserving of a work place and community free from unwanted sexual advances, and meriting just as much recognition for their tremendous contributions to the arts, sciences, corporate and domestic environments.

And those should absolutely be celebrated on IWD.

But women are also life bearers. We can bring life into this world. And that is a powerful, beautiful, and uniquely feminine thing.

Get this “I am Prolife” t-shirt

And as an aside, it breaks my heart to see women fighting for the right to “choose” to end that life through abortion. That is the antithesis of “girl power,” if you ask me. But that’s beside the point.

Two things before I sign off:

1. I am well aware that there are women reading this that find themselves in that very painful reality of infertility. And to those strong, beautiful women, I want to just say this: During those ten years, I had to fight the lies being thrown at me by the enemy, that my worth as a woman was tied to my ability to have biological children. But the fact is, that is a lie from the pit of hell. Motherhood comes in all shapes, sizes, and situations. Adoption, spiritual motherhood, foster parenting, social work, volunteering. God put in every woman, the heart of a mother, regardless of whether or not she is able to physically produce children of her own. And He will use that heart, he so lovingly placed in you. The world needs your heart. So please hear me: fertility does not a woman make.

2. Secondly, in terms of regaining my fertility, I want to just speak to my eating disorder recovery warriors out there who are struggling with this. Because, believe me, I’ve been there. I know how scary the thought is of getting your period back. But please trust me, fast forward the clock to years down the road, when you are living abundantly in recovery, and want to be able to have children one day — there is nothing more you will want, than to be menstruating.

SO – here’s what I wish someone would have told me. Or rather, here’s what I wish I would have believed:

EATING FAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU FAT

Let me explain: for years in my recovery, I would stay away from fats: oils, butter, avocado, etc — it was a lingering “food fear” I held onto. And I avoided it like the plague, for fear that it would make me fat.

But here’s the thing: despite it’s name, it doesn’t make you fat!

Granted, I’m not talking about scarfing deep fried Twinkies, but let me tell you: today, I get probably 40% of my daily calories from healthy, unsaturated dietary fats: olive oil, nuts, seeds, avocado, salmon. I kid you not, I eat probably close to 1/2 cup of olive oil A DAY.

And you know what? It hasn’t made me fat.

You know what has happened since adopting my fat-loving diet? I GOT MY PERIOD BACK. It made my dry scalp clear up. I no longer have dry, cracked skin. My hair is shiny. I haven’t gotten sick in 2 years.

Healthy, unsaturated dietary fat is your best friend. And it restored my fertility.

So there you go.

If you’ve made it this far: I salute you.

Happy International Women’s Day – I sincerely hope we can all celebrate one another and work together – both men and women – to create a world that is supportive and receptive to one another, regardless of gender, race, creed, nationality, or life stage: from conception to natural death.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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151 thoughts on “International Women’s Day: What it Missed

  1. You’re so smart and well spoken. I wish there were more intelligent women around who aren’t so disrespectful towards men when they should be celebrating international Women’s Day for themselves and what it truly means. Thank you for your powerful voice. Sharing this. And god bless you on your healthy recovery.

    1. oh gosh you’re kind to say that, thank you Derek. I am humbled by your kind words! God bless! hugs ox

  2. Thank you for this post! Honestly, the whole thing makes me sick. These people are so militant, it’s ridiculous.

    1. thank you so much John – glad it resonated with you. yeah, i’m not on board with the militant. celebration – yes. aggressive and bashing, not so much. Hugs and love xox

  3. The ones who behave like that aren’t women in my eyes and they only belittle themselves with their witch behavior! A strong good woman knows how to be feminine and what God intended them to be not these packs of banshees trying to ruin themselves more than they already are while dumping on men! This is why so many younger girls that get sucked into this craziness think they want to be boys or whatever; this is all part of the evil in the world running rampant! God Help Us!

    1. Oh gosh, well thank you for sharing your thoughts Lawrence. There’s a lot to celebrate on IWD, bashing men doesn’t have to be part of the hooplah. Hugs and love xox

      1. I don’t appreciate feminists and arrogant women, period. And they can call it anything they want but it is moronic to me! Many are just never going to be happy being what God intended them to be and they will find excuses to, pardon the French, BITCH! Some people aren’t happy unless they make everyone else miserable around them and I’ve known women like that who I think loathe their woman apparatus and the cycles and everything else that being feminine requires them to be; and all rest! They need to grow up and shut up! Should we guys have our IMD and start being bastards about all the things we think are unfair in life or what sucks about being a man! People need to get over themselves and keep freaking busy! Too much time on their hands to let their minds run wild on nonsense! God; what would these people today have done say back in the pioneer days, jump off cliffs! Idiotic nonsense is all it is just like Pride and the rest! The problem as I see it is modern people are spoiled rotten and have gotten way too big for their britches with this easy convenient life of technology so now they have to waste time and complain or point fingers and reject GOD! That is the key to what ails society! Look at our public figures in Washington living like gluttonous pigs that have material wealth and some earthy power that goes to their head like say Pelosi or Schiff or even better the witch Killery and the fraud Obama; and they are nuts! We are all in trouble big time! If this whole mess doesn’t turn around drastically in just America alone, never mind what China or Russia are doing, then we can all kiss our sorry butts goodbye! It’s a stark raving loony bin mess! If people had it tougher and struggled to get from point A to point B they wouldn’t be such jackasses like they’re being.

  4. Very powerful message and got my full attention. Huge amount of respect! I hope my daughters will have your fight, determination, will power, passion, understanding, intelligence and always be free to speak out.

    1. THank you so much!! im so glad this resonated with you 🙂 And gosh — i am humbled by such kind words. I’m very touched. Have a great night and stay healthy my friend! Hugs and love xox

  5. I was close to tears of joy for you as I read this. And, I love all your thoughts you presented on womanhood. Male and female He made them… and He sees each of us as so beautiful. Thank you for your inspiration!

    1. Oh my gosh, thank you Anni!! I so appreciate your affirming words. You’re so right – He sees us ALL as His children, deserving of love and every blessing!!! Sending you so much love! xoxo

  6. Thank you for your intelligent, beautiful acknowledgment of IWD. I. am so glad you were able to kick anorexia in the butt and use your experience to enlighten and encourage others. God bless you!

    1. Hi Jan! Thank you so much for your kind words! Yes! I am so grateful for that healing as well!!! God is good! Hugs and love xox

  7. I was thinking about this song last night – Beauty for Ashes by Crystal Lewis (https://open.spotify.com/album/5DT7PZVY50nSK1HWHpt8Kk?highlight=spotify:track:3uAvdQXaQI69OlEASg4P0b) and how it symbolizes your story. 🙂

    Back in Genesis, God said he made male and female in his image. All of the godly women i know have the softer power of God, to nurture and to heal and yes, even lead, but a different kind of leadership. We need each other, men and women, and we celebrate each other too.

    1. oh my gosh i LOVE that song so much!! gosh i’m so touched that you would think of me! thank you! amen to that 🙂 beauty for ashes! in all of us! Hugs and love xox

    2. Do you mind if I quote this ?
      Back in Genesis God said he made male and female. All of the godly women I know have the softer power of God, to nurture and heal and yes even to lead, but a different kind of leadership. We need each other men and women, and we celebrate each other too.
      That is exactly what I have been trying to say all day.

      1. I will use your comment and link to your blog. I won’t be writing anything. You have said it all together men and women WE are made in God’s likenes The enemy seeks to divide and conquer.

  8. Girl, I also agree with you here! As the mother of 2 young men I don’t subscribe to the bullying of men which what the sentiments you mentioned are doing. It’s immature and overly dramatic for reactionary attention I feel.
    We rise ALL together. Women AND men.
    The other very important and sensitive topic regarding infertility and eating disorders you included I commend you for covering. It’s an aspect of living with an eating disorder that needs more attention. Brava sister, brava🎉

    1. Thank you so much!! I’m so glad this resonated with you!! Yes! We all rise together – I love that 🙂 has you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  9. Thank you for sharing. On this International Women’s Day, we should celebrate real women, and there is a gorgeous lady named Caralyn who is a great example of what a great woman should be.

    1. Oh my gosh JB you’re too sweet. thank you friend. I’m humbled by your words. Hugs and love xox

      1. You are very graciously welcome oh wonderful lady. I am amazed by you. I really am. Many hugs and much love to YOU!!

  10. I’m all for women power (have to be been married to one for 29yrs😂). Seriously I mean it. As for the baby thing yeah you go for it and I pray the Lord blesses you with a little one. Oh yeah must watch that Taylor swift video 😄

    1. Thanks so much Ken! 29 years! That’s so awesome! That’s really something to celebrate!! Hugs and love xox

      1. Believe it or not, that was Tylor Swift dresses up as the guy in the music video!!

  11. Praise the Lord!!! I went through something similar 6 years ago (though it wasn’t due to anorexia). I LOVE how He is in the business of restoring us. Thanks for the post!

    1. Thanks so much Annalee! So glad this resonated with you! Amen to that! Yes He does! Hugs and love xox

  12. Speaking to the idea of infertility being a barrier to womanhood and being a life-giver – I completely understand your comment about being a spiritual mom, and more. I have experienced a lot of satisfaction being a “second dad” to a several people over the years, you included. There’s just something about being able to see a need in someone that you can help with. Encouragement, compliments, challenges, even disagreement are all useful ways to help someone grow. It is something that warms my heart even now after my own daughters don’t need their dad quite so much. As it should be.

    Women can be loving without having a blood bond with someone. They can be motherly and nurturing without giving birth. Just look for those opportunities. Look outside yourself. Remember all of the good deeds that God has prepared in advance for all of us to do. Some of them may very well be about being an extra parent to someone!

    I hope this perhaps helps someone…

    1. Thank you so much Jeff – you’re so right. And I have personally been positively impacted by your spiritual fatherhood 🙂 yes! He has all those good things laid out for us. What a beautiful and comforting truth!! So glad you stopped by:) Hugs and love xox

  13. Loved the post Caralyn. You got your throughs across extremely clearly and well. I so agree with you about celebrating women without pulling down men or anyone for that matter.
    Blessings 😊💙

    1. Aw thank you so much!!! Yes! Celebrating and staying positive and on the high road! So glad this resonated with you! Big big hugs to you xox

  14. Carolyn I so agree men and women need to come together to build a better world. I feel the ultimate goal of much of what has been happening, is to divide us – especially men and women. I am so glad you have your fertility back. It is indeed a precious gift.

    1. Thank you so much! You’re so right! A gift indeed!! I so appreciate your kind words 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  15. Well said! Every bit of it. I’m a woman who still fully appreciates a man being a man, the man! God made us to be man and woman, male and female! Be strong women, but don’t bash the men!

    1. Thank you so much Cindy! Yes! And He knew what He was doing! Hugs and love xox

  16. Great post. As a father with 3 daughters and 2 daughters in law I am so thankful for their pro life beliefs. As a father with a daughter and daughter in law who lost children due to miscarriage I cannot imagine what a woman who aborts a life must go through as time goes on because I know they too suffer. As I have done for a long time I pray for both women and men that they understand how important they are to each other. It seems our world loves to have people take sides to everyone’s detriment. But I go on too long. Your fault. You write so well you make me think. Thankful for your witness and that God is in control. Thanks Caralyn. You are a gift

    1. Thank you so much John! Wow I am humbled by your kind words. I pray that too! I appreciate you stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  17. I know that recovering from those last shock waves of an eating disorder can be so hard….I probably get like 50-60% of my calorie from fat now, too. I feel so much better when I am eating HFLC. With plenty of protein and veggies. I recently lost my daughter. The pain is still fresh. I know I have commented a bit here and there but if you want to read her obituary it is here https://thepetersonchapel.com/shiloh-rose-schwartz/ I suppose that I am only commenting to say that our identity in Christ supercedes our identity as mothers. You have a gift in your writing. It extends far beyond writing about your past eating disorder. I wish you all the best. -Sierra

    1. Oh Sierra, i am so sorry for your loss. My hear is breaking for you. Thank you for sharing her obituary. I will read it and say a special prayer for her and you and your family. Gosh, i wish i could hug you in person right now. sending so much love. thank you for stopping by. big big hugs xox

  18. Thankyou. Love your blog and your intelligent voice in this world of ours. Also love the fact that you affirmed us as men, and affirmed life and motherhood. Thankyou.

    1. Hi Ross! Oh gosh thank you so much 🙂 I am humbled by your kind words! Hugs and love xox

  19. Your worth, Dearest, lies in every proton, neutron, ion, electron of your beautiful mind plus a few more in your warm smile. It isn’t about how fertile you are but about how much life you unwittingly give to others. Being Upbeat Ana the Pumpkin8or. Hugs from Cape Town.

    1. Oh thank you so much Pete – gosh I’m so touched! Hahah the pumpkin8or – that made me chuckle!! Hugs and love xox

  20. since I am adopted I fully understand your fear and fear of loss as my mom reluctantly over the years has revealed all she went through (70s, before in utero etc). I told her recently (as she was in the hospital due to a fall.. she is doing well now so no call out for prayers there), “you chose me” which calmed her countenance because she actually did, she was rendered infertile for many reasons but her generation you were not even a woman if you could not produce children, an unfair burden in retrospect of course, but it is the perception just the same. So I am glad you have re-established your internal mother possibility, it is sacred, but so is life in every form, and motherhood the same…

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story, David. You’re right – life in every form. Praying for your mama 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  21. Almost 40yrs ago, I had the most beautiful skeleton friend with long, golden hair to where her behind should have been. I couldn’t ever connect with her heart, not even as a platonic friend. Because her heart was anorexic. I now think it was the first thing to die, even before the anorexia. And I was so sincerely unequipped to be her friend, showered her flowers I now know she never saw or smelled. She didn’t allow herself.

    1. Oh gosh I’m sorry to hear that. Yeah you’re right – the heart is the first thing to close off. I hope she’s doing well now. Hugs and love xox

  22. wonderful post; I like your views on IWD, and what it should be celebrating.

    And I’ll have to think about the advice on eating more fats, because I have dry scalp and cracked skin…

    1. Thank you so much Jim! Glad this resonated with you! Yes! Healthy fats have been a miracle! Hugs and love xox

  23. Great article Caralyn.

    Since I don’t have a wife or girlfriend, my tradition on Women’s day is to basically give a little gift of a chocolate to the women in my life and I meet on a daily basis – coworkers, my mom, my sister, my sister in law, etc.
    One person asked me when is Men’s Day. I don’t know.. take your pick from the other 364 days of the year.

    For those feminists out there, Women’s day is celebrated because finally women were seen as equals. And for the most part, I thought that those old days were behind us – women were in fact equal. But frankly it seems for the Feminist movement, it seems the battle is not over yet.
    They want right equal pay, etc.
    Adding to your point in your article, Yes women can do pretty much anything men can and more.. with that one unique part of child bearing.
    Not too long ago, Women were protesting and demanding how men were paid more than women for doing the same job. Well, on that note, what about maternity leave?… Wouldn’t the lower pay account for the fact that they are given maternity leave?
    I mean, our HR is currently on 6 months maternity leave. That is 6 months of paid leave.
    Don’t get me wrong. I’m not upset. I am happy for her. But if employers are taking this into consideration, doesn’t that balance everything? Or am I missing something?…

    I found it even hilarious that celebs (actresses) were also protesting. Yes, one actor was paid a million more dollars than you for one movie. Actresses and female celebs, get more royalties because they’re far better looking. Do they really have a right to complain like the rest?..

    It just seems to me that nothing is really good enough for the feminist movement. They just keep wanting more.

    There was a hilarious joke on social media where some guy hung a banner for Women’s day and a lady looks at it and says, “Could’ve ironed it.”.
    Sums up the point really.

    1. Thank you so much friend for sharing your thoughts on this. What a great tradition – I’m sure they appreciate that! Lots of interesting points here! Hugs and love xox

    1. Aw thank you so much!! Gosh you’re too kind. Have a great Tuesday! Hugs and love xox

    1. Oh my gosh thank you so much for saying that!!! I am truly touched! Have a beautiful day! Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. That’s a powerful and true point! Hugs and love xox

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes!! Looking forward to checking out that article. Hugs and love xox

  24. Hi Caralyn, I let IWD slip right past my radar. Your post led me to etch this on my heart for next year. Your words that help us women shine together are so important. Your encouragement to those in recovery is beyond valuable. Thank you so much for reminding me IWD is not just a thing, but an important thing for we as sisters now and those younger women coming up! In Christ, Julie

    1. Hi Julie! thank you so much for sharing your heart 🙂 I am so touched ! yes! shining together is so important!! Hugs and love xox

  25. Caralyn, your post about International Women’s Day made me stop and think. What should be celebrated the uniqueness of women, including their ability to carry and bear children. To nuture them as moms, to help children grow as teachers, nurses, doctors, aunts, etc. and to embrace the sisters and friends. It is celebrating life and and all the wonderful women that are wired differently than men. A time to celebrate all the heroines in our lives!

    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts about this! yes! i agree – a celebration is definitely something we should embrace!!! so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  26. Awesome post. You look Phenomenal! I am so happy the Lord has restored and is restoring many things you lost now that you are healed. Always remember: So I will restore to you the years that the swarming [a]locust has eaten,
    The crawling locust,
    The consuming locust,
    And the chewing locust,
    My great army which I sent among you.
    You shall eat in plenty and be satisfied,
    And praise the name of the Lord your God,
    Who has dealt wondrously with you;
    And My people shall never be put to shame.
    Then you shall know that I am in the midst of Israel:
    I am the Lord your God
    And there is no other.
    My people shall never be put to shame. — Joel 2:25-32

    Be and stay blessed. Peace and blessings be unto you.

  27. Thank you so much for this post! While I’ve never struggled with an eating disorder, I do struggle with body image issues. I’ve always been really skinny but after having 3 kids, I got up to 140 lbs and was finally happy with the way that I looked. Unfortunately I’m back down to 125 and becoming self-conscious all over again but this post is a reminder that we’re all struggling with something. Instead of complaining about being too thin perhaps I should be grateful that I am healthy. Thank you for sharing your story.

    1. Thank you Tausha for sharing your heart on this. You’re right – there’s a lot to be grateful, and celebrating our bodies is always a positive move!! 🙂 sending so much love my friend xox

  28. Carolyn like me, you were blessed with an honourable, supportive and caring father. I think that has a huge impact on how we view men. However in recent years I have seen the less positive side of manhood. Not to put to fine a point on it – entitled bullies. It has really opened my eyes. I struggled with the culture of my ex’s workmates so much and the atmosphere had a detrimental effect on him too.
    To some extent decent men can fall victim to a negative culture.
    Some of those women with radical views are just plain angry, having been raised with these kinds of negative role models in their midst. Unfortunately the backlash can sometimes be unfair but the decent men need to speak up more. They need to make their presence felt more. They sometimes get mocked because they are there supporting the their families, rather than drinking down the pub. In some quarters it is considered cool to be an abusive bully, who can keep their woman in check.
    The rate here of domestic violence is horrendous. Last I checked two women a week were being murdered on average. You are right aggressive slogans are probably not the way to go but there is a lot of genuine anger out there which needs to be addressed.

  29. I enjoyed your post, but I will continue to ignore completely the International Women’s Day. Just like the Democrat Party, the militants have taken it over. They showcase the lesbian, baby murdering, men hating, sexual deviant type of women. That kind of people I want zero to do with. But your own description of women I like. Keep up the good work. Blessings.

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