COVID19 – NYC: A City Flatlined

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

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Quarantine NYC – Day 21

I’m going to be honest, writing about anything other than NYC right now feels incredibly tone deaf. Disingenuous. Insensitive.

There was an 18 wheeler semi truck parked on my street today, in front of a hospital that’s on my block. It was an unusual sight. Not actively loading or unloading. Just parked. All day. Unmarked. Unattended. Out of place among the deserted streets with barely any traffic anymore.

I didn’t think much of it, until I turned on the news that night, only to learn that that hospital is now being used as a temporary morgue for the coronavirus victims. And that semi? It’s a refrigerated holding box for the bodies.

You turn on the news right now, and 90% of the coverage is about how New York City is, for lack of a better term, bleeding out from the impact of the coronavirus on the city.

Which is true.

But as I watch the coverage, and watch Cuomo’s news conferences, and the shots of reporters on the street, and montage images of Times Square and other recognizable landmarks…it is just striking to me that all of this coverage is really missing the mark.

I’ve been in NYC for nine years now, and the city has never felt this way. Not after Hurricane Sandy. Not after Trump was elected. It’s acutely different.

You see, if anyone ever asks me why I love New York, my eyes will always light up, and I’ll answer with two monosyllabic words: the pulse. 

That is the “secret ingredient.” The “it factor.” The hutzpah that makes this great city what it is.

You step outside and there is a literal buzz in the air. It’s electric. From people chasing their dreams. Falling in love. Hustling. Beating the odds. Challenging their limits. And just flat out going for it.

And that, friends, is gone. Corona has flatlined that pulse.

The most jarring effect of COVID19 on the city: is the silence. It is truly deafening.

You walk outside, and you can hear the wind. You can hear the subway rumbling below.

Having lived here for so long, the noise has become part of my life’s soundtrack. In fact, I can’t sleep without it. New Yorkers love to complain about it, but the truth is, there’s a comfort to it. It gives me a sense of security. Of belonging.

That noise is no more. 

Only it has been replaced by the haunting symphony of sirens. Blaring relentlessly. Crying through the streets at all hours, day and night.

Again, sirens have always been part of the musical make up of Manhattan, but not like this. Not to this caliber of consistency.

And every time I hear one, I offer a prayer for the person it’s rushing to help. A habit I wish wasn’t so repetitive.

But that tension I’m feeling in the air — that grip of suffocation everyone is feeling — is fear. 

People are afraid. They’re holed up, trying to live their lives as normal as they can, but the undertone beneath it all, is fear of the this unseen enemy, whose power is uncertain and unchecked and not fully understood.

So we’re silently hostile with our personal space. We resort to selfish behaviors around food and supplies and toiletries. We look with suspicion on those wearing masks, or those not wearing masks. We judge. We don’t make eye contact. And a smile is out of the question.

But we’re all here. We’re all huddled away in our triple-digit square foot apartments doing our best to stay brave and stay positive.

But there’s a moment every night at 7:00, when the nurses and doctors change shifts for the day, when the entire city applauds these heroes on their way home from the hospital. People fling open their windows and clap. And holler. And yell. Some, like myself, bang their pots and pans. It’s a surreal moment of shared humanity.

Yesterday, I looked across the street at my neighbors who were all out on their fire escapes, and for that brief moment, we were all on the same team. We were all collectively exhaling. And truly seeing one another — seeing their fear. Seeing their emotion. Their hurt. Their release of anxiety through a flurry of clapping and hollering, as though the soul was flung out and escaping the barricades.

We’re entering into Holy Week, and it is truly surreal to be fasting from Mass, and from the Eucharist during Lent. There is something missing in my life that is truly so tangible. I long for Mass. I long for that peace and security and comfort found at church. I long for the literal pulse — the heart beat of my faith: the Mass.

That pulse that I’m missing in New York — that makes New York, New York — is that same pulse I’m missing right now as we enter the final preparations of Easter.

Maybe you’re feeling the same, too.

I think now, more than ever, is the time when we, as a faith community, all need to fling open our windows and start banging the pots and pans, too. We need to collectively let out that fear, that longing in our hearts that we feel as we’re prohibited from worshiping together.

Now is the time to come together as a faith community and hurt together. Release it together. Heal together. Hope together. Survive together. While apart.

Because the most insidious weapon that the evil one has, is to make us believe that we are truly alone. Isolated. Forgotten.

Friends, that is never the case. Not now, not ever.

We’re all in this together. And this week, as we walk through Holy Week, physically separated from our lifeline – our pulse – may we truly see one another in our humanness through it all.

And prove the resiliency of the Body of Christ.

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363 thoughts on “COVID19 – NYC: A City Flatlined”

  1. As a woman who was born and raised right out6of NYC, your post had me in tears. First sadness and loss because it is palpable that electricity you wrote about there. Then of joy, happiness for the love and unity in God. We are all one in this and we know that through God all things are possible. We will get to return to life and we will all be a bit better for it.
    It’s truly magical how resilient New Yorkers are are to know you guys are in unison every night makes my heart skip a beat. THAT’S the city I know and love. Doing it all together. We shall overcome, together. One heart, one mind, one body and one city at a time. Sending you so much love❤❤❤❤ this post is my favorite one from you yet my dear👏🙏

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    1. Aw thank you so much my friend. You’re so right – we shall overcome together. I love that. Clinging to that hope. Stay well friend! Hugs and love xox

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  2. So nicely and precisely penned down. It’s a real scary moment globally, but we will come out of it no matter what. Just hold high your spirits. Stay home and be safe. Prayers and thoughts. K.

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    1. Thank you so much K for your kindness and prayers. Yes! We will make it through! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Thanks for such kind words. Hopes and prayers for the world over to strengthen the fighting spirit. Loads of love to you too. Stay safe. K.

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  3. It hit it on the nail – the city lost its pulse. Only it’s not just NYC, but most major cities. I grew up in Queens and am worried about my friends there. We will get through this, eventually. My family almost always says a family prayer each night, and as we pray for EVERYONE affected that only the Lord knows, His Spirit is in our home. I miss attending my church service too, and wonder if the desisiples of Jesus Christ felt lost after his death on the cross after performing so many miracles. I am focusing on my blessings, especially my church’s General Conference this weekend.

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    1. Than you so much Jennifer. I hope you have. A great time at the conference! You’re so right – focusing on blessings is so important! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Wow. I mean, wow. I can’t imagine how eerie it must feel to look outside and see that truck, and to know why it’s there. I mean, just, wow. I have never been to New York, but I can understand just what you mean about that pulse; it’s the pulse of life; the pulse that keeps us going. That pulse of life that we all miss so much, as you know, is nothing other than the Eucharist. I heard a priest on T.V. say that if there is any good that can come out of all of this, perhaps it is that there is now a thirst for Christ like never before. People desire the Mass and the Eucharist, and now that it’s gone there is such a void in our lives. Maybe after all of this, people will return with even a greater fervor than before. I don’t know. Fear is overtaking this country. Well, as St. Padre Pio said, “Pray, hope and don’t worry.”

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. You are so right – I also pray that our thirst for Christ be renewed!! Stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  5. Hi my lovely friend, this is a good post and unfortunately this is happening all over in many places. Busy cities and streets turned into ghost towns and rather quickly at that. Stay hopeful and safe, and 2 Timothy 1:7 is a good scripture especially right now. I’ve been writing about the virus on my other blog but to be honest, I’d much rather write about anything else just to keep sane and somewhat upbeat despite all that has befallen us. Much love and peace and be safe, careful, and prayerful.

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    1. Thank you so much!! Amen – staying vigilant in prayer is so important right now! Stay well friend! Hugs and love xox

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  6. I’ve never been to New York, but I’ve been to other big city downtown’s and sort of know what you are talking about. I’m sure LA and Denver are no comparison. When I first moved to California from our little quiet town in Alabama, I couldn’t sleep because it was so darn loud and noisy, so I get it. Now, the evenings here, when the traffic noises are deafening silent, it is kind of eerie.

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    1. Thanks Jolie – yeah the soundtrack of major cities is so different. I go back to Ohio and I’m like – how do you sleep with it so quiet?! You can hear trains in the distance and birds chirping!! What is that?!? Haha stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  7. Whoa! That’s insane for New York… my friends and family getting hit hard right now too – they are in Massachusetts … here in California we have been hit hard as well and are still being hit… it’s hard.

    Please stay safe! Post when able – loved the photos cause this is now our history and no one is ever gonna forget these moments or these images.

    • also sometimes I have to post about something else because I need my mind taken away. So I like both – I am curious to see what others are going through – makes me feel connected… and the images are like none I’ve ever seen… it reminds me of that documentary on the discovery channel? About life after humans?

    And then I also sometimes have to take a minute away from everything. It’s just hard to keep a balance.

    It’s scary and just really hard

    But stay safe!! ✌️ be well! Be careful!!!

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    1. Thank you friend for your kind words. Yeah it is surreal here. Praying for y’all stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  8. You are NOT alone. You are the pulse of the city.

    The earth is waiting for the sons/daughters of God to be revealed. Whether that day is near or far, you are a positive spiritual influence on the city.

    Your presence in NYC helps to keep it together.

    This will not last long. One more month and life will getting back to normal.

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    1. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh i am humbled by your generous words! I pray that is the case! Hugs and love xox stay well x

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  9. My dear Caralyn

    In these difficult times we become aware how much we all need each other in our isolation. Our thoughts are with all people who suffer, who do a great job in hospitals and in other places, people who are victims of this terrible virus taking their lives. When this time is over we all can hug with much love to each other, feeling humanity, feeling that we all are one in the One and that nothing can separate us from each other – as the drop cannot be separated from the Ocean. May our hearts come together and send this light to our Father, to hear our distress, to receive His grace for the whole mankind for a better world.

    Today another aphorism:

    Love beyond borders

    when the virus does not care borders
    Our love should also go beyond all borders…

    DidiArtist, 03.04.2020

    We all stand together, my dear friend Caralyn.
    Love and light to you and yours
    Didi

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    1. Thank you so much Didi for this beautiful response. Amen – may our hearts come together. Stay well my dear friend. Hugs and love xox

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  11. Here in London we are also in lockdown, but more and more I’m hearing of family fueds and rifts mended, people searching and coming to faith as the things they set their faith in prove inadiquate. Other’s faith is rekindled as they take time alone in solitude away from the weeds and brambles, the busyness of life that choke the seeds of God’s love. As the fire passes over I’ve heard many refer to the Passover (also coming soon) how the children of Isreal were told to hide in their houses with the blood of the lamb over their doorposts while the angel of death passed by. God did not send this but He is in it with us and bringing about so many Rom 8:28s through it. I try to keep my eyes on these, on the new life spring forth in spite of the death and knowing death in itself is not the end but the begining.

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    2. thank you for sharing that, Claire. Amen – we’ve got to keep our eyes on those. stay well! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hi Iris, thank you so much for your prayers and kindness. know that you’re in mine too! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  14. Your description of the quiet of NYC is how I remember it on September 12, 2001 as I walked up Broadway to Penn Station at 5 a.m. There wasn’t a person or even a car in sight; only cops standing guard on street corners. I remember thinking that the terrorists had won, that fear had won. Fear is useless; what is needed is trust.

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    1. Hi Madeline! oh wow – i cannot imagine what that day must have been like. thank you for sharing that. wow. powerful. stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  15. Crazy that New York is silent. Im finding it very hard at this time to compute what is going on. Watching the news does make you feel connected and informed but too much of it and fear sets in.

    Crazy how South Korea tested all its residents in a few weeks and isolated the people with the virus yet the rest of the world seem to be doing more talking than taking action.

    Hopefully this gets resolved soon for so many reasons. Great post. 🙂

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    1. thank you so much for your thoughts on this. yeah, there’s a delicate balance when it comes to the news. stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  16. All I do is watch the news. I’m worried, sad and fearful every day for everyone. Bless your heart, I hear about NY and knowing you are in the thick of it…I can’t even image. Prayers for you and everyone going through this. Stay well.

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your prayers. know that oyu’re in mine too. what a time to be alive. stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  19. Stay safe, and sane, Caralyn. This is when faith really counts—and is tested! And, BTW, 10:00 Mass Sunday from the Basilica of the Sacred Heart at Notre Dame University on CatholicTV (download the app). Mass there is beautiful in person (my niece goes to ND) but almost equally peaceful and spirit filled via TV. Ted

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    1. thank you so much Ted. You’re so right – faith really counts right now. oh thank you! i’ve been live streaming Fr. Mike Schmitz’s masses from North Dakota! I’ll have to check out Catholic tV! thanks for the recco! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  20. From your words, I feel your heartache. I’ve only been to New York City once, right after the hurricane. I remember the devastation there then. But even then, the streets were bustling, Times Square was packed and thriving. I can’t imagine now, your silent pictures. Here in Texas we haven’t been hit as hard, and praying we don’t. I’m praying for you, Caralyn, and your beautiful City and all your people. Together, we will weather this storm, as America United, trusting our God to lead us through, and we will emerge with hope and resiliency, as the Body of Christ, and as a People. Thank you for your faith and encouraging words. ❤

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    1. thank you so much Mindy – yeah NYC has definitely been put through the fire on many occasions. Praying for you and texas! thank you for your prayers. we will all get through this! stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  21. We are feeling the affects of isolation but nothing like this. Our church is connecting online trying to ramp up opportunities to still be a community and bless the communities we live in even while physically separated. Thank you for sharing.

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    1. you’re so right – how grateful am i for those online connection opportunities. they definitely help. stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Oh my goodness, hi Laurie! Fancy seeing you here! 🙂 thank you for taking the time to read this. You’re right – this is a season of trial for sure. Praying that we’re shown exactly what it is we’re supposed to learn from this adversity. Stay well! Hugs and love xox Caralyn

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  26. Praying for you, and the fellow citizens of New York. It is eerie and almost apocalyptic. I am in Tennessee where things are starting to worsen. Hold your head up high and hang in there. This too shall pass. In the meantime read Psalms 91. It has helped me tremendously. God Bless you, my friend.

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. Apocalyptic is definitely an accurate word. Praying for you! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  28. Caralyn, another finely-crafted, poignant post. Your words encapsulate and express the sensibilities of an entire city and, indeed, your own. You also, without empty sentimentality, hold in the hands of your words the heart of hope. For all this and for more than I can name, I thank you. Be well, stay well.

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    1. hi Paul, thank you so much for your kind words – keep you and your community in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs and love xox stay well x

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  29. Coronavirus has really changed how we live our lives. Presently in my home country Ghana,though not hard hit with high numbers, a number of measures have been put in place to curtail a spike. And one of the measures is a two week lockdown of two cities with majority of cases. I have been away from work for the past 1week and anxiety is always setting in. How long will this continue? I can only pray that this will end soon. Thanks for sharing your story.

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    1. thank you so much for your kindness and prayers. we all are going to get through this. stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  31. Thank you for capturing the pulse of my prayers for places, especially NY affected by Covid-19. Having lived, studied and worked in NY as a Critical Care RN I remember the excitement when lives were saved and deaths stretched many of us to reflect in our lives. Now a pastor, I find Prayers are my best prescription and remedy for fear, hopelessness, sadness, distress and more. I encourage friends and foes to Park and Pray at 1:11 pm. Thank you Beauty. The pulse in NYC may seem flat but it’s never silent.

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    1. Hi Cleo, thank you so much for your kind words. you are so right – ther eis power in prayer! it is the ultimate remedy for those things! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  32. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Caralyn! Living in an already quiet, small town suburb of Nashville, life doesn’t look like it’s changed all that dramatically. Hearing how the situation is in big cities (I can’t imagine how eerie finding out about that semi was!!) really helps me appreciate how other people are affected. I love that y’all are cheering for the nurses and doctors changing shifts! That must be such a special thing to watch.

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    1. thank you so much!! yeah the big cities are really taking a hit. yeah i love cheering on those heroes! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  33. Thank you for sharing your heart with your observations on NYC during this crisis. With family in the city (Manhattan and Brooklyn), I hear the fear, the anxiety, and the powerlessness coupled with calmness, finding what works, and love for their community.You spoke to all of that eloquently.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. i’m definitely keep you and your loved ones in my prayers! Hugs and love xox !

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  34. Beautiful post, Caralyn. I am rooting for NYC. I think once they turn the corner, the rest of the nation will begin to feel more hopeful and confident about the future.

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    1. thank you so much for your prayers! mine too – this country is hurting and needs lots of love. stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  36. I agree with you: This ‘silence’ is becoming so deafening now and is hard to handle for me too. We’ve also been hearing how bad it has been for New York City too, as well as LA and Florida. Here, our numbers are rising here too high as well. Even our news anchors came together on tv and all had spoken to our Mayor livestream.

    When I heard how bad it has been in NYC, I thought of you and kept you in my prayers through this time. I stay quarantined in my home, but once you cross over a few streets, you’ll be back in Detroit. It’s sad that we’ve recently had lost a bus driver that had been coughed on by a passenger, and individuals are still trying to fight here in this danger. I had always been used to the noise from Detroit, but I am glad that people are following our mayor’s rules during this time.

    Stay safe and keeping you in my prayers, Sis’. If you miss the NYC noise, there are many videos on YouTube that can help you relax… at least a little bit. Perhaps listening to some music from there. I heard a lot of smooth jazz music that was from there… which was pretty good. Even if you make one post a week, let us know that you’re doing okay. Well, as you have been doing and telling us. 🙂 Stay strong and remember that we’re fighting this coronavirus thing together.

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    1. thank you so much for your words of encouragmenent yes – music has been reall helpful! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  37. The calculus has changed during this outbreak. The refrain “give me some space” seems so quaint now that it’s becoming the new social code, at least temporarily.

    We should be humbled. I know I am.

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    1. you’re so right about that. i am definitely humbled as well. thanks for stopping by! stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  38. this was a really really good post. Thank you. I live in Massachusetts where things are just starting to feel different. I was at the market today and people were in line to get INTO the grocery store. Plastic shields separate the shopper from the cashier and stickers mark the floor to remind you of your 6 feet, white papers on all the shelves tell you what you cannot have and what you can. It feels like a movie, but then in our homes it feels regular, Stores are closed, signs inform people of early closings parking lots empty, gas stations unused. But when I’m home it feels the same. i can only look at NY numbers on a computer screen, but you are eyes on the streets, you give a clearer picture of what is happening and it sounds a lot different than anything we have ever known or seen before except in a movie. thanks again. Good job. not that you need me to tell you:)

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    1. thank you so much!! I will definitely be keeping you and your community in my prayers. Yeah it surreal how this has changed little every day things. stay well! Hugs and love xox

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    1. oh gosh – praying for ya Lyssy! I run through FiDi every day and you’re right – ghost town except for the occasional person walking their dog. It’s so surreal. stay well! we’ll get through this! Hugs and love xox

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  40. This is amazing, stunning, devastating to read. Thanks for sharing! Here in New Mexico, things are so close to normal that it’s hard to remember how bad it is elsewhere.
    I’m keeping you in prayer, and joining you in long distance celebration of Holy Week!

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. They truly mean so much. Stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  42. It is quiet here in Lake Macquarie NSW

    The birds are amazing….already beautiful to see they are magnificent in voice.

    Will be thinking of you at Easter. This will be my first since my elderly dad died. No doubt there will be tears. He died just before Covid 19 took off here. Am so glad he did not live to see this. His dementia would have made it difficult for him and when he was lucid he would have fretted terribly about his children and grandchildren

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    1. Hi Kathleen 💛 I’m so sorry to hear that. I’ll be thinking about you this Easter. I’m sending you the biggest hug my friend. Stay well. Hugs and love xox

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  43. Caralyn, your visceral description of the emotional vibration of NYC, faint though it may be breaks my heart. Even though all the streets in my little town (small city) in Northern California Wine Country is much quieter I feel the fear and the sadness, the grief of others everywhere.

    This piece of yours brought me to tears.

    I’ve been making essential oil blends as a carrier oil for healing / soothing grids for those in need by donation or just their good will. I have some to serve and by God I have been busy.

    Stay well by the grace of God/Spirit and by Jesus too.

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    1. Thank you so much Kai – I’m so glad this resonated with you. Yeah our city is feeling that grief too. Stay well my friend. Yes! Will be keeping you and your community in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

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  44. Thank you for writing from your heart and giving us a window into your faith. As I have watched the mounting number of NY deaths, my heart breaks. Thanks for being “boots on the ground” and giving us a human perspective that we don’t get on the nightly news. For this pastor in Boise, Idaho it will add clarity to my prayers for you and your fellow New Yorkers. Grace and peace to you that overwhelms and drives out fear. ~Daryl

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers. They truly mean so much. And wow! Trinidad and Tobago!! Stay well! Praying for you and your community too! Hugs and love xox

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  46. I reread this this evening. It is truly powerful. I was surprised how much you love New York. I thought I was in a minority among Christians, loving our supposedly “sin-ridden cities. You captured the pining I have in my heart for London so exquisitely.

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    1. Oh wow thank you – I am seriously so touched. Yeah I love this city so much. It helped me reclaim my life during my recovery. Yeah I feel you. Stay well. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank Brian, I appreciate that. Yeah these are unprecedented times. Know that you’re in my prayers. Stay well Hugs and love xox

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