ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Quarantine Day 32. NYC

I’m going to be really honest. Yesterday was the first really hard day. Sure, I’ve faced the fear of contracting the virus, been stunned by the sobering sight of death, and grieved the separation from my family. But yesterday was hard for a different reason.

It was the first day where I really felt the acute sting of loneliness.

After 32 days, without a hug, without eye contact, without the physical chemistry that comes with human to human interaction, the toll of isolation finally caught up to me.

And as I fell asleep last night with silent tears stinging my cheek, I finally let down the brave facade I had been sustaining with every last ounce of myself. I finally let myself truly feel.

And the feeling I was confronted with: was loneliness.

During the first weeks, the novelty of FaceTime interactions and Zoom parties made it feel exciting. And the connections with the people I care about felt almost electric. Like we were all in a space ship before lift off — buzzing with anticipation and energy — about to brave the new frontier, all in it together.

But as the calendar days roll on, that excitement has been extinguished by new challenges, difficult realities, and the truth that isolation is a nightmare for the soul — particularly extroverts like myself.

To paint a picture, my apartment is 500 square feet, in the heart of downtown Manhattan. It’s small but cozy. But even with all the creature comforts and candles and crooning melodies played through my speakers, there is an emptiness of heart, being alone.

And, ironically, I’m not alone in this feeling. I posted a poll on my Instagram account, asking what the most challenging aspect of quarantine has been, and of the 200+ responses I received, 92% of them involved loneliness, and/or missing loved ones.

There’s a collective heaviness of heart that is running rampant through our current quarantined existence.

But this forced quiet and introspection — it’s been keenly revealing. Quarantine exposes people’s true colors – their true selves. Which has been surprising, both good and bad. I’ve been surprised by some people’s creativity; others: their humor; some: their cooking skills! Others: their innovative solutions to boredom.

But also surprising, is seeing who has reached out, and where there has been radio silence. A truth that’s loud and clear in the silence of these four quarantined walls.

And that, has been the most challenging aspect of all of this. Adding insult to the injury of loneliness.

But I think I need to remember that we’re all coping with this upended reality in the best way that we each know how. And much how everyone grieves differently, so too are we each surviving this difficult season of isolation — and that looks differently for everyone.

You see, I spent so long in my anorexia truly believing – to my innermost core – that I was a giant burden to people. It sounds ludicrous, I know. But it was the deeply held belief that led me to waste away to 78 pounds. And so I think that this current sting of loneliness is acutely reminiscent of those years in my eating disorder that I spent pushing people away, and withdrawing in isolation to be alone with my disease.

Which adds a tremendously tender layer of complexity to the already oppressive reality of quarantine.

But enough of that psychological tangent.

Waking up this morning, with the daylight and the bright, shining sun, came a new perspective on this whole situation.

Yes, quarantine has illuminated a lot of difficult truths that I can choose to dwell on, and fixate upon their disappointment. OR, I can choose to focus on another truth that has come to surface in all of this: our need to fully depend on Jesus.

Our Savior has a lot of names: Christ, Messiah, Son of God, Bread of Life, Prince of Peace, Light of the World, Lamb of God.

But this morning, I was reminded of another name: Emmanuel. Which literally translates to “God with us.”

God with us.

In this time when we’re all suffering from the crippling demon of loneliness, God is reminding us, through Jesus’ very name: Emmanuel, that He is with us.

Right now. During our moments of silent lonely tears. When we’re frightened for loved ones. When we’re faced with financial challenges, job loss, emotional exhaustion, difficult living situations, bleak and uncertain futures…God with us.

He died for us. Was risen for us. And now lives with us.

Emmanuel, console us during these destitute days of isolation and trial. Renew in our hearts the strength and peace that only You bring. And help us to surrender the burdens in our hearts, over to You, to restore our fullness of spirit, yolked with you, our loving and compassionate Emmanuel.

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God bless, yall are in my prayers.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

303 thoughts on “ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay”

  1. Praying for you! Are you not able to even go out and get some exercise or pick up groceries there? We have watched the heavy toll that this virus has exacted on New York with heavy hearts, sending our love Veronica and Doug.

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    1. Thank you Veronica and Doug! Oh yes! I go for a jog every afternoon and it is so good for the soul! But yeah – FaceTimes are great but not the same as a real hug!!! Haha thank you for your prayers. Know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

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      1. I’ve pretty much been on quarantine here in Orlando since March 22. Although our governor didn’t somewhat lock down the state until 8 days later. I haven’t felt the emotion of loneliness yet. But here our circumstance are different. Apparently more places then we knew of were essential and we’re allowed to go out to them. Doesn’t make much sense to me. I pretty much stay inside. Not because of fear of getting the virus but because I try to do what’s right. I applaud you for being so strong and brave during this time. 32 days is along time to go without human contact. I’m an extrovert most of the time but apparently I’m more introverted than I realize and this hasn’t been so bad. You’re right during these very trying times, it hard not to feel afraid, alone, scared, uncertain etc. We have to remember God is with us. Thanks for this post. I myself have not been so understanding. Have a wonderful blessed week my friend

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      2. Thank you so much my dear friend 🙂 yeah, these are such surreal times. i hope that things open up soon!! stay well my friend. amen – He is with us!!! big hugs xox

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    1. Thanks Brandon, you’re right. We’re meant for community! Thanks so much for your kind words. Hang in there! Hugs and love xox

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  3. Hugs for you my friend. You are a brave woman. It is normal to feel that way. We are all human and that feeling is part of it. What’s most important is we know how to be thankful to our Saviour. There is a reason behind all this. We just have to ready our self to accept victory that will soon be coming after this COVID-19 pandemic.
    See you on my blog.

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    1. Aw thank you for your hugs Vanessa! They are so appreciated! amen to that. Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  4. It is only human to feel alone and afraid, I live in a city called Exeter in the UK which feel’s a lot further away from the madness of corona19. My biggest fear about the way I could catch the corona virus is by pressing the button at a pedestrian crossing as I cross a road. My work at Devon Communities Together keeps me busy and focused I am due to start work at 9am today we are doing our bit to help our colleagues, friends and loved ones. Just because you are not presently with your loved ones does not mean they love you any less. I am talking to mine a lot more over the phone presently and it is really helping me and them. I thought on your last post you were trying to put a brave face on. We all do that to help ourselves and others. It has been an honor to type a message to you at 02:02 according to my UK clock. Lots of Love to you and please mind how you go Huwx

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    1. Thank you friend. I’m glad the threat where you live is minimal!! That’s terrific! I appreciate that – Hugs and love xox

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      1. Sending a Cwtch back to you I was born in Bangor in Wales and a Cwtch is a welsh version of what you call a hug. It’s taken a lot of work to reduce the risk where I live, it does not just happen by magic, though the odd prayer has helped tremendously I feel like I’ve been on a mission from God since the moment I was born and will fight till the day I die. But that’s another story for another day. Thank you for Hugs and Love Hx

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  5. Your bravery is amazing. Every year NYC has to face a different challenge. As your readers, we can only hope to understand the tight quarters, the raging battle that exists with the highest prevalence in NYC. My father passed yesterday, and I think of so many families who will be missing family and friends. It’s a national/worldwide tragedy, but when there are mass graves in the Bronx, it puts it in a framework that is difficult to process, much less live through and navigate how, at this point, to not get sick. Steph and I will pray for you. We appreciate people like you, who value the human heart. I pray you find peace with the Holy Comforter. Keep your mind strong.

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    1. Oh Brian, I am so sorry for your loss. Gosh, my heart is breaking for you. Sending up prayers for your father and you and Steph and your family as you go through this difficult time. Sending so much love, my dear friend. Xoxoxoxoxooxoxo

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      1. Thank you. While we weren’t close, the loss of a parent is difficult. I am still numb to the pain. Looking forward to the seclusion to be over so we can have a memorial to add closure. – Best, Brian xoxoxo

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  6. Thus isolation is truly tough my friend, but we must all hang in there and stay hopeful. It does affect us all at different levels and feeling this and more has become so unsettling to say the least. Lets stay prayerful, remember each other, and stay busy in our homes because our mental health is just as important as our mental health as well. Take care and stay up!!

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    1. Thank you so much friend, you’re right it is! And there is always hope to be found!! Thank you for your kindness! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Here is a big virtual hug for you Caralyn!

    I so understand your thoughts. I live alone which makes this a tiny bit easier yet when can any of us travel to see loved ones? Like you said, texting and phone calls are wonderful yet never will replace the eye to eye and hugging contact. Be safe. 🙏🏻✝️

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    1. Awwww thank you John for that hug! It was needed! 🙂 You’re right – there’s nothing like an in person interaction! Stay well my friend!!! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Aw JB, I’m sorry this is familiar for you. I’m sending a big big big hug to you!! Hang in there 🙂 xoxo

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  10. Psalm 68:5-6 New Living Translation (NLT)

    Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
    this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
    God places the lonely in families;
    he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
    But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.

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  11. That is why I live in Texas. At least I can get out and mow, be with my dogs, and watch the cattle graze. I can’t imagine being cooped up all day. But I have known you for years, and I have never seen you not make it. Yes, Jesus is always with us. I am with you too. Love you more. SR

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    1. thanks SR! oh yes – that sounds idyllic! i miss having a pup around!! stay well! thank you for your kindness, my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  12. It does get wearing, doesn’t it? My wife and I are both over 60 and she’s in chemo so we can’t go out. My youngest son does food shopping for us and it’s so hard to only be able to wave at him through the window when he puts the food in our garage. But God will get us through. Praying for you, Caralyn!

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    1. it really does, Roy. Thank oyu for your prayers! know that you and your wife are in mine too! I’m glad your son is able to do that for you guys! what a surreal situation we’re in!!! Hugs and love xox

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  14. °\(ッ)/°

    ßÏG HÛGŠ

    Awww so sorry you felt that… I have felt that myself everything you said… so don’t ever feel alone…

    What helps me is readjusting what I love and how I see for the moment – I’ll have to readjust back so that might be hard but whatever – is life.

    Right now… think of things that give you comfort or things you totally love… try not to think too much about being without people.

    It’s hard it really is… but we still have life… don’t take that for granted – love what you can while you can.

    I’m sorry you feel asleep crying – I’ve had those nights myself. You are not alone

    We will get through it eventually – you stay safe and strong. Keep posting – love your posts ✌️

    You do have people – you just can’t be near them right now. Have strength. ✌️obviously you are very strong already – you can do this! Is not forever.

    Just please be safe 😘

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    1. awww what a cute little guy! thank you so much Omatra! and wow what great advice!!! i love that — adjusting my perspective. so powerful!! thank oyu for the encouragement my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  15. Carolyn you are finding out the same things I did, when I escaped narcissistic abuse. Who actually cares. I did a stocktake on my life back then. It is so hard isn’t it? I have so admired the way you have stayed positive throughout this. I do think it is no accident we have been pulled away from the general busyness of our lives and given time to take stock. I am part of a beautiful prayer group. They have been faithful throughout this. I find I love them even more now. It has definitely shown me, who I can count on. I look forward to your blogs. Your self-discipline inspires me. For what it’s worth, I will help you just about any way I can.

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    1. thank you, friend, for sharing that. You’re right, i have really been blown away by the people who have stepped up. i’ve really felt very blessed. i’m so glad you have that prayer group! what a blessing 🙂 hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

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  16. To BBB, how the days are for you is sketched in words here, with your usual skill at letting people know how things are with you. Reading your post tonight, I enjoyed thinking back how things were for you a few weeks back, and I wish it weren’t so lonely for you with things going in the direction of controlled disaster. It must be lonely for countless people, but, as you are the one that is keeping people feeling the togetherness around your site, I know it’s not at all easy for you.

    Please keep up every effort to remain as healthy as possible. It is very important. How you manage the perplexing weeks in front of us to face, it is probably true that, although I know Jesus is with you, you are walking these steps with as much uncertainty as just about anyone else who is aware of all those problems I see in the news.

    You won’t be alone, even if you feel very lonely. Return on schedule, please! Keep up the great blogging, too.

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    1. Hi Odell, oh gosh thank you for your kindness. I am humbled by your generous words. You’re so right about that – health is of utmost importance right now. You do the same!!! Hugs and love xox

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  17. Ugh, I hear you, I know exactly how you feel. This social distancing alone Is lonely. So many of us are in the same boat, except instead of one boat, it’s like there are millions of little boats, one person in each, out in the middle of the ocean. Floating. For weeks! But, I imagine Jesus walking on water to your boat, and mine, and . . . you know, I think things will be different afterwards, I think some things will change: our walls are going to come down more easily after this, we won’t be alone for long. Of course friends, family, all of them will be appreciated even more, but also Love. I am beginning to look forward to that time, like Christmas! This helps a bit, in the teary moments : )
    Sending hugs & prayers!

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    1. thank you so much Peri for oyur hugs and prayers! they are greatly appreciated! i’m sorry you can relate so personally. You’re so right with that analogy!! millions of little boats!!! with Jesus walking to us! wow – that is so comforting. needed to hear that 🙂 sending big hugs and prayers!!! xoxo

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  18. Sending lots of love, and wish I could send you some of the happy noise and chaos of my household of seven kids, where even quarentine is a party…and true solitude is only found (briefly) in the bathroom. Don’t forget in this lonely time, to chat with your guardian angel who is always right with you, and interested in everything you have to say to him. xoxoxox

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    1. aw thank you so much Anna, hha oh wow! seven kids, that is so beautiful!!! what a special time to be together as a family! will be praying for you all! and yes! that’s great advice 🙂 big hugs to you xo

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  19. Reading this tonight I suddenly thought of your visit here. At the end of your Sunday morning presentation I came over to wrap things up. I hugged you with one arm and kissed the top of your head. I didn’t really think about it at the time. It was just spontaneous. Tonight I remembered my first article about you; Beauty and the (ED) Beast. I wrote in there how you brought out the dad in me, and I wanted to comfort you, hug you…and kiss the top of your head.

    So, for what it’s worth and if it helps in some small way, maybe remember that brief moment from someone who never thought he’d know who you were, let alone ever meet you. A small hug and a fatherly kiss from someone who cares.

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    1. Awwww, Jeff, this brought a huge smile to my face, thank you so much 🙂 i remember that hug!! 🙂 yes!!! you’ve been such a great friend and second dad 🙂 God has blessed me with your friendship!!!! until the next time we meet!! 🙂 sending big hugs to you and your girls!! xoxo

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  20. This May help you in your loneliness; it helped me.
    Forward Day by Day
    Sunday, April 12
    Easter Sunday
    John 20:15-16 Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? For whom are you looking?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.” Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabbouni!” (which means teacher).
    I came here for the wilted husk of just one precious flower, but your voice miraculously bloomed by this tomb, calling me Mary, and you gave me the whole garden, instead. Every blossom and petal.
    The meaning of this moment stretches for all eternity. The forever winter of the hammered nails is gone. I have been transported and transformed by a joy that is deeper than the sea and higher than Mount Hermon!
    I ran to tell Peter, to tell them all: I have seen the flowers of Golgotha— the blooms of God’s grace and eternal love for us all— our risen Lord!
    Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

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    1. oh wow this is so powerful, thank you so much for sharing that with me!!! hope you’re hanving in there! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Thank you for sharing and reminding me how blessed I am to have my husband and children with me. Praying for God to give you strength and peace during these difficult times.

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    1. Thank you so much Kristie for your prayers and kindness! Very appreciated. Know that you and your family are in mine too! Yes!! Hugs and love xox

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  22. Since you said you “allowed yourself to feel,” go deeper into your creative space. It might scare you, but your best work is hidden inside you. This will get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. There is light at the end of the tunnel. See the light. Be the light…

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    1. You’re right that’s a really great idea John! Thank you for that encouragement!! Stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  23. Makes you appreciate the strength of character of prisoners of war, doesn’t it? I have a friend who fought in Vietnam. He says, paraphrasing: “We have food and no one is shooting at us.” I am so sorry for your loneliness, but glad you find consolation in our Savior. I felt alone in Costa Rica many years ago. It was around then that I started wearing the cross. Had to remind myself what Jesus endured. Been alone most of my life, except for two cats. It hurts, but after awhile you don’t feel it anymore, because you learn to look toward those times when you know you’ll be with people. There will be an end to this–promise–because we’ll make one in a positive way. When I start feeling blue, I try to decide who might be lonelier and call them or write them. Usually gets me out of my funk and helps someone else. Sending you a great big virtual hug!

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    1. You’re really right about that! Oh wow – that’s powerful. And what great advice. Thank you for that!! I will do 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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    1. Awww you are just the greatest. Thank you friend, I love you too!! 🥰 God bless you!!! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  25. He is Emmanuel who understand us because he lived in this life, experienced being alone as he was tortured and crucified. He understands being misunderstood. He understands the problems of this world because he lived here as human and God in one. He loves you little sister. He will never leave us.

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    1. you’re so right! He will never leave us 🙂 thank you for that – so incredibly comforting! sending you love and hugs! xox

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      2. oh awesome! thank you! i can’t wait to listen! music has been so healing for me in quarantine 🙂

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      4. yes! I’ve really like audrey assad lately. Her songs are hauntingly beautiful and really “hit the spot”

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  26. Amen and beautifully said! And if I’d had thr slightest inkling all if this was going to happen, I would have looked you up and given you an actual hug when i was in Manhattan the last week of February. I guess virtual hugs will have to do. I am praying for you. 💕🤗

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    1. thank you so much Heather! awww you’re so sweet! yes – virtual hugs will have to do! thank you so much for your prayers, they mean so much! know that you’re in mine too! xoxoxoxoooxoxoxo

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  27. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I’m glad you are being encouraged by “God with us!” My wife sometimes gets on the phone with friends when she is low. But you’ve probably already tried that.

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    1. thank you so much for your kind words. You’re right – that’s a great thing to do! and i have been staying in close contact via phone and facetime with my friends and family! Definitely helps!! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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    1. you’re so right, Alan! Definitely not just for Christmas anymore!! 🙂 stay well my friend! thanks for the virtual texas hug! 🙂 right back atcha! 🙂 xoxo

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  29. Thanks for being so real and honest. I love reading your posts because they are so relatable and encouraging. Thanks for pointing everything back to Christ too. May God’s grace be upon you during this difficult time.

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  31. Caralyn such an open honest exposure of your feelings. That’s something that your Lord and recovery has brought about in you. We here in the US really had no idea what isolation was until now. And you penned um wrote it with such insight. I too am praying for you. You stay one of my few heroes because you are so open and honest and you not only know but also share the only real cure – your Savior. Just imagine what you are being given right now to strengthen your recovery and faith. I am sure you will come through this and be even a greater gift to others. Stay strong but not too strong to turn to your Lord. Thanks. John

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    1. Hi John – oh gosh thank you for this thoughtful response. you’re right – He is the only real cure. Wow – i am humbled by your generous words. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. praying for you too! Hugs and love xox

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  32. I stood half a metre outside of my front door, still on my premises, and was ordered inside by an overtly diligent South African cop.

    After my own medical lockdown of 183 days in 2019, the 129 square foot measuring my existence became stifling. Hugs, socially distanced, as I don’t want to infect you. I have heartburn.

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  33. I agree with you 100%. When you strip away the outer layers of a person, past the clothes, possessions, fame and success, what do you see? You see frightened boys and girls, vulnerable souls. So we hide because we don’t like what we see. Two years ago, I had to take sabbatical from serving at my church because I didn’t want it to become unhealthy part of my identity. My pastor suggested a book and write a journal, inviting Jesus to walk into the basement and deep closets. To my surprise, Jesus was not judgemental but shined a light and do some cleaning. 🙂

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    1. thank you friend! yes! He shined a light! i love that 🙂 thanks for this thoughtful response! Hugs and love xox

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  34. Hugs and kisses to you Caralyn. Emmauel is a great reminder that we are never alone.; as well as Deuteronomy 31:8 (erv): The Lord will lead you. He himself is with you. He will not fail you or leave you. Don’t worry. Don’t be afraid!” God bless and keep you woman of courage & purpose.

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    1. awww thank you so much!! i love that verse – so much comfort there! thanks for your encouragment! Hugs and love xox

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  36. My heart hurts for you, and so many others, feeling the pain of isolation and much uncertainty!

    I wanted to throw this out there for your thoughts, I am and have often been, the one who reaches out, but ALSO the one that DOES NOT. That one that goes radio silent. When I do, 3/4 of the time, it’s because of where my headspace is at the time. Not them, not the person or people I’m neglecting. I pray the Lord give you insight and direction to know how to pray in light of this.

    May He continue to enlighten you as to His faithful, constant presence!

    Love and prayers!

    Peach

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    1. Hi Peach, oh gosh thank you for your prayers friend – you’re right – i think i need to also examine my own actions to make sure i’m not being radio silent with anyone i should be reaching out too. that right there is wisdom and i thank you for that!!! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  38. Caralyn, this time of quarantine has really gotten us to look at what is really important. So often when we are busy with life, we do not spend time really getting down to the essence of life. Love your Emmanuel, God With Us, focus. Sending love and hugs! This will end!

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    1. you’re so right about that – the essence of life — and that’s Him!! thanks for stopping by! hang in there! Hugs and love xox

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    1. aw thank you so much Amy for your kind words. You’re right – i think a lot of people are dealing with loneliness right now. hang in there! Hugs and love xox

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      1. This lockdown is the worst. Apparently one of my teeth decided to split in half and 2 weeks in its irritated. Of course there’s no dentists in my area that is open currently with the stay at home order. Everyone is too afraid of going out. So with swishing around ice cold water and some Listerine every couple of hours hopefully it’ll be calm. There is a loose part of the tooth I’ve been trying to loosen even further that hopefully will eventually fall out but it’s still in there. Think it got irritated with some food getting stuck in between. Lockdown is still on for several weeks but with no cure to the virus it seems this will go on for months…

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      2. OH NO!!!!!!!! Oh my gosh i am so sorry about that!!!!!!! oh goodness my heart goes out to you, tooth issues are the absolute worst. I hope you can find a solution ASAP! I’ll be praying for you!!!! Hugs and love xox

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      3. Thanks. It’s not too painful at the moment just sore but then since I still work at an essential company its probably not on my mind but even then it’s kind of cold out too so that most likely helps too.

        I forgot my Listerine for work though but it’s ok. It’s mostly aggravated when I eat (or talk too much). So yes hopefully this will resolve soon enough. I’ll be buying some Vanilla ice cream it should help it clear out soon, seems like the nerve is flamed up, if it was an exposed nerve the cold water would basically make it 10x worse.

        But thank you.

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  42. Big hugs from Vegas!
    There’s a reason the tomb is empty! So Jesus could go and seek and be with the people… ie. Mary Magdalene, Cleopas, Thomas, Disciples and Peter at the seashore…
    Once out of the tomb he can be Emmanuel! He knocks on the door of your heart and when you open the door, your name is on His lips…
    Hang in there! ❤️

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    1. Amen tot that! the tomb is empty 🙂 wow – what a comforting thought 🙂 He’s always knocking on our hearts’ doors! Hugs and love xox

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  43. I’m introverted so it’s kinda what I am used too all the time but even I’m feeling it.. I’m sorry.. yes the LORD is exactly how I cope with my lot in life.. and creativity helps too.. but sometimes I’m just not motivated to create.. that my hardest battle.. people will try to solve it for you I haven’t read through comments.. that’s what happens when I share openly.. there’s unfortunately a cost that comes with baring ones soul.. but it always helps to be deeply honest.. especially if you find some genuine souls who accept you as you are.. ohh the sun just came out, outside my window.. You have followed my blog faithfully when so few others find me.. I will pray you are strengthen for every day forward.. God bless you..

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    1. thank you so much for your prayers and kindness – you’re so right – He is our way to cope!!! stay well my friend! praying for you too! Hugs and love xox

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  44. Thank you for sharing this – it’s true that loneliness and social isolation can be just as damaging to our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. So ironically, we’re exchanging one health problem (the coronavirus) for another. And I know exactly how you feel when you reach out to someone and there’s just “radio silence.” That’s why I appreciate the fact that you always take the time to respond to our comments.

    Remember, you are not alone! Stay strong 🙂

    • Katie

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    1. Thank you so much Katie! What a sobering statistic. And you’re so right. Mental health is important! Hang in there my friend! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  45. My dear Caralyn,

    These times are really hard for us all, to be separated from the loved and dear ones – but in fact we are not separated (from outside it is looking like that) but from inside we are all connected. Not only connected with all brothers and sisters in the world, within the whole creation – we are also connected as a waterdrop with the Ocean. When we become aware of this, we do not feel lonely anymore, we feel the presence of Him and all brothers and sister with their silent voice in us.

    God is living in all of us, so He sees what see, He hears what we hear, He feels what we feel, He is even closer than our own skin to us with His ear permanetly on our heart. Just close your eyes and feel Him in you. Let Him be present in you all the time, then you feel the waves of this Giant Ocean in you, you feel, you are not alone, you feel all drops connected to each other, no high, no better, but consiousness in His Super-Conscousness, a collective consciousness, consisting of Billions of units of consciousness. Sometimes we think of a person we have not seen or heard anything from him/her for a longer time – suddenly the phone is ringing ant that person is on the phone… Our thoughts are together, we are not separated. Real surrender to God is to let go our own ego and mind that stays here and there is God – but the two are not two, not separated, they are ONE. With this knowledge that He is always with us, nothing can bring us down. When we think He is here, then He is here but when we think He is away, then away He is…

    I wrote this to give you some condolence in your pain to feel lonesome. Just focus your attention on Him and you are no longer alone, my friend. All our relatives and friends may leave us when the hour comes when we have to leave this body, but He will be there as He is always with us according to Jesus Christ: “Lo, I am with you always even to the end of the world. I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.”

    What we also have to learn in these days: To live with us, to accept us, to stay with us, to be in harmony with us.

    I big hug from heart to heart, my dear Caralyn
    Much love and light to you and a plaster on your mind that you need not to feel lonely, dear friend 🙂
    Didi

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    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful note of encouragement Didi. I can’t begin to express how much this touched my heart in a meaningful way tonight. Yes. Focus on Him!!! That’s the best advice. 🙂 sending you so much love! Hugs xox

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      1. Let us be happy together in Him, my dear friend Caralyn 🙂
        Take Him with you in every step you make, wherever you are.
        Much love and light to you, my friend – thumbs up! 🙂
        Didi

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  46. Emmanuel. Amen. This is what keeps me up. People being without people. We were created for communion with one another. And as much I crave an empty house right now, I cannot complain because I am NOT alone. And you are not. ❤️❤️. God hold and hug you tight!! I hope you get sooo soo many hugs soon!

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers! Amen – for communion. I can’t wait to be back with those i care for soon! Hugs and love xox

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  47. this is surely the great equalizer… I have myself been taken to meditation of sorts, good breath in (god), bad breath out (virus) to get me through some nights in my own head, the panic is hard to push off sometimes, family members have the virus, deaths in my office manager’s family… it really is a time to do the best we can but also just realize we are not in charge, that is the shock of the word, we are not in charge, so I would rather believe that something or someone out there is greater than all this, and live up to that as best I can, as best I will. stay safe, the city is certainly a resilient place, I have learned that much over the years.

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    1. Thank you so much David. The great equalizer indeed. You’re right – we’re not in charge! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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  48. This is a hugely uplifting post. Thank you, Carolyn! I’m feeling the isolation too … and I’m an introvert. Lol. Keep your chin up and stay well. x

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  49. When I look at the Big Apple from my perch on the faraway shores of the South Atlantic, I stand astounded by the level of denialism and plain redneck rebellion against State interventions, given the rumble on Twitter. So many think it is ONLY America that is affected or that the global coronavirus outbreak is an assault on America alone.

    The mental world some live in, seems rather limited. Or, otherwise, some simply lack insight. We here in Cape Town have been in lockdown since around March 27, with many more weeks to come. It would appear that our infection graph isn’t incremental but flattened as a result of the lockdown.

    Maybe the vociferous patriots rather should give consideration to the survival of others more than their own comfort or supposed “human rights.”

    Aren’t adults supposed to be acting responsibly?

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    1. Hi Pete, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. yeah, it has definitely bombarded the rest of the world, that is not unnoticed – at least with the people I run with. stay safe friend. Hugs and love xox

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      1. I wonder if the hunger or wanting to gnaw at things is psychological. After all, been living a solitary life since 21 Jan 2018 and usually didn’t eat during the day, yet now my wifey is at home, I can devour a department store six times a day.

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      2. Interesting thought! haha devour a department store — never heard that one, but it gave me a smile this morning, so thank you 🙂

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      3. I crave something FRESH, tired of food that was locked down in stuffy tins. I can kill for a melon or a juicy peach. Or even a tomato. Even a tiny cocktail tomato.

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  50. Yes it is a struggle adjusting to this strange new lifestyle. We can all be there for one another whether it’s by picking up the phone or one of the many digital services at our disposal. Writing helps for me and hopefully it has been a savior for you as well. I enjoy reading your posts and If it helps to know that your words are reaching many than feel encouraged. You might be lonely but you are not alone.

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    1. thanks Larry – you’re right about that – writing has been tremendously helpful to me too!! glad this resonated with you 🙂 thank you for your encouragement my friend! Hugs and love xox

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