ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Quarantine Day 32. NYC

I’m going to be really honest. Yesterday was the first really hard day. Sure, I’ve faced the fear of contracting the virus, been stunned by the sobering sight of death, and grieved the separation from my family. But yesterday was hard for a different reason.

It was the first day where I really felt the acute sting of loneliness.

After 32 days, without a hug, without eye contact, without the physical chemistry that comes with human to human interaction, the toll of isolation finally caught up to me.

And as I fell asleep last night with silent tears stinging my cheek, I finally let down the brave facade I had been sustaining with every last ounce of myself. I finally let myself truly feel.

And the feeling I was confronted with: was loneliness.

During the first weeks, the novelty of FaceTime interactions and Zoom parties made it feel exciting. And the connections with the people I care about felt almost electric. Like we were all in a space ship before lift off — buzzing with anticipation and energy — about to brave the new frontier, all in it together.

But as the calendar days roll on, that excitement has been extinguished by new challenges, difficult realities, and the truth that isolation is a nightmare for the soul — particularly extroverts like myself.

To paint a picture, my apartment is 500 square feet, in the heart of downtown Manhattan. It’s small but cozy. But even with all the creature comforts and candles and crooning melodies played through my speakers, there is an emptiness of heart, being alone.

And, ironically, I’m not alone in this feeling. I posted a poll on my Instagram account, asking what the most challenging aspect of quarantine has been, and of the 200+ responses I received, 92% of them involved loneliness, and/or missing loved ones.

There’s a collective heaviness of heart that is running rampant through our current quarantined existence.

But this forced quiet and introspection — it’s been keenly revealing. Quarantine exposes people’s true colors – their true selves. Which has been surprising, both good and bad. I’ve been surprised by some people’s creativity; others: their humor; some: their cooking skills! Others: their innovative solutions to boredom.

But also surprising, is seeing who has reached out, and where there has been radio silence. A truth that’s loud and clear in the silence of these four quarantined walls.

And that, has been the most challenging aspect of all of this. Adding insult to the injury of loneliness.

But I think I need to remember that we’re all coping with this upended reality in the best way that we each know how. And much how everyone grieves differently, so too are we each surviving this difficult season of isolation — and that looks differently for everyone.

You see, I spent so long in my anorexia truly believing – to my innermost core – that I was a giant burden to people. It sounds ludicrous, I know. But it was the deeply held belief that led me to waste away to 78 pounds. And so I think that this current sting of loneliness is acutely reminiscent of those years in my eating disorder that I spent pushing people away, and withdrawing in isolation to be alone with my disease.

Which adds a tremendously tender layer of complexity to the already oppressive reality of quarantine.

But enough of that psychological tangent.

Waking up this morning, with the daylight and the bright, shining sun, came a new perspective on this whole situation.

Yes, quarantine has illuminated a lot of difficult truths that I can choose to dwell on, and fixate upon their disappointment. OR, I can choose to focus on another truth that has come to surface in all of this: our need to fully depend on Jesus.

Our Savior has a lot of names: Christ, Messiah, Son of God, Bread of Life, Prince of Peace, Light of the World, Lamb of God.

But this morning, I was reminded of another name: Emmanuel. Which literally translates to “God with us.”

God with us.

In this time when we’re all suffering from the crippling demon of loneliness, God is reminding us, through Jesus’ very name: Emmanuel, that He is with us.

Right now. During our moments of silent lonely tears. When we’re frightened for loved ones. When we’re faced with financial challenges, job loss, emotional exhaustion, difficult living situations, bleak and uncertain futures…God with us.

He died for us. Was risen for us. And now lives with us.

Emmanuel, console us during these destitute days of isolation and trial. Renew in our hearts the strength and peace that only You bring. And help us to surrender the burdens in our hearts, over to You, to restore our fullness of spirit, yolked with you, our loving and compassionate Emmanuel.

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God bless, yall are in my prayers.

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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303 thoughts on “ISOLATION: The Hidden Price We Pay”

  1. Amazing content , That reality, this when we able to know well who our loved ones are through calls and text …

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  2. Lots of love and hugs to my friend. Praying this stupid virus goes away soon. We are in Day 20 of the lockdown but it’s not too bad here in New Zealand. I am taking one day at a time and staying positive this won’t last long l’m pretty sure😊

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    1. thank you so much Sanjana for your prayers and kind words! I’ll be praying for you and your community too! yes! one day at a time! Hugs and love xox

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  3. Hey Caralyn, it is testing us all in our own ways. But the main thing I see for you is that you have indeed found your self love, God just nudges us occasionally to show us that very thing. Could you imagine going through this from where you were before? Your heart has learned to sing again dear lady and He is watching that reborn jewel, a shining light in His view. Be proud of that 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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    1. Hi Mark, thanks for sharing your powerful thoughts on this. You know, I was actually just talking about that with my mom — i couldn’t imagine going through this being back in my anorexia. Especially alone in an apartment – that would have been a road to destruction. I actually broke down in tears of gratitude, when I was talking about it — God’s deliverance is a powerful thing. Thank you for reminding me of that incredibly important truth! big hugs to you xox stay well x

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  5. Beautifully transparent post. I lived in NYC for 10 years; moved away 2 years ago. My ex-husband still lives there; sometimes a fear sneaks up that my daughter may not see her dad again. I find myself praying for protection for my beloved friends in NYC as you all have been hit very hard. Thank you for posting your real and raw thoughts. And thank you for the reminder of Emmanuel. Grace and peace to you as the days go by.

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    1. Hi JoLayne thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Yeah, once NYC is in your blood, a little bit always stays there 🙂 thank you for your prayers! NYC is definitely hurting right now, but we’ll get through 🙂 stay well my friend. Hugs and love xox

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  6. I cannot begin to fathom what life is like for you during these days. But I know that God is holding you closer than ever! I pray for you each time I scroll through my Reader and see your blog, that you will know more than ever the peace of God that transcends all understanding.
    Blessings,
    Pastor Chuck

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    1. Hi Chuck, thank you so much for your generous words. Yes – i do feel God especially close right now, which i am grateful for! thanks for your prayers!! know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

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  8. I find it interesting that to all different degrees, Caralyn, we are alone in our “deserts” during this crisis as Jesus was in a real desert for 40 days. However, the isolation forces us to look inward, as you have done, and that is where we will find Jesus. He is always less than a heartbeat away! Be strong; be safe! Ted

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    1. thank you so much Ted – you’re so right – the timing with all of this is absolutely uncanny. Not a coincidence, i’m convinced! Amen! a heartbeat away! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  9. “But I think I need to remember that we’re all coping with this upended reality in the best way that we each know how. And much how everyone grieves differently, so too are we each surviving this difficult season of isolation — and that looks differently for everyone.”
    This is soooo true!! Everyone does deal differently and it’s good for an extrovert (like you) to point out the differences to an introvert (like me). Initially, it was a nice break to be at home, because with three kids we are always on the run (and we homeschool!). There was so much to do at home and the kids have kept my husband and I busy. But the longer this goes the more challenging it gets. I miss my friends! And I need to remember to reach out to my extroverted friends (and introverts) to touch base and let them know I care not just think of them. Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. thank you so much! Yes! No one has ever dealt with anything like this, and so we’re all just trying to make it through the day. I think that’s really important to remember. Yeah – missing friends is a biggie for me too!!! thanks for sharing your heart! stay well! praying for you and your family! Hugs and love xox

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  10. Sister, you are never alone, the Holy Spirit of God dwells in you. He said that I hold you in my hand and my father holds me in his. No one can take you from me or my father. I know it is difficult for such a loving person as you to be without direct social interaction, and without the touch of a loved one. Close your eyes and hold on to the feelings of the warm embraces that are stored in your mind and heart. This period of dryness will not last forever. When I feel isolated, I think of how Paul spent 2 years in prison in Rome. He focused on writing letters to encourage his loved ones in Christ. He sought a deeper understanding of the will of God. I, on my Facebook site (Way of Christ Ministries) have tried to encourage our fellow believers in seeking a deeper prayer life and a greater study of scripture. This isolation can be such a time of spiritual development in Christ, one like you have never known before. I pray for you, know that you are loved and I send you a spiritual hub… LOL. You are such an encouragement to those around you, your family, and your internet fans. I do know, that even those who are a source of encouragement need encouragement. So I beg of you to look not to your own understanding, but to trust in the Most High who loves you beyond life itself. He is with you now.

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    1. Oh gosh thank you so much for this comforting response. You’re so right – I’m holding onto those warm embraces 🙂 And wow what a powerful truth to rememeber! thank oyu for your prayers, know that you’re in mine too!!!! stay well!! Hugs and love xox

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  11. Beautiful post! I can relate to many of the feelings you express. I was determined to be positive and encouraging in the beginning of this, but this time of isolation has revealed things I did not want to face. Past memories and hurts have come around, some of which I never dealt with when they were fresh. You brought us back to the rock solid truth that God is with us, promising to never leave nor forsake us. Thank you for allowing God to work through you to deliver truth and hope with each post!

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    1. thank you so much Matthew 🙂 I’m sorry you can so personally relate. Yeah this time of solitude gives us nothing but time to think, and sometimes those painful memories bubble up. praying for you friend. amen – He will never leave us!! praying for you friend! Hugs and love xox

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  12. I’m reminded of the first question and answer in the Heidelberg Catechism:

    Q. What is your only comfort in life and in death?

    A. That I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood, and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil. He also watches over me in such a way that not a hair can fall from my head without the will of my Father in heaven; in fact, all things must work together for my salvation. Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.

    Thank you for being open about your loneliness, and more than that, about your hope in our Lord Christ! I’ll be praying for your endurance and comfort during this difficult time!

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    1. Oh my gosh wow what a powerful question to consider! Thank you for sharing that, wow. Gotta say, i need to read the catechism. As a cradle catholic, it was an aspect of my faith that I took for granted, and have never really delved into. but i should, because it really makes scripture come alive in a very nuts and bolts, tangible way. thank you for your prayers! know that you’re in mine too! Hugs and love xox

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  13. I just wanted to leave a word of encouragement: Hang in there, keep blogging, you’re doing good. I found your sweet expression of faith very touching, I’m so glad you found that something that helps sustain you, that hand in the darkness. I don’t share the same faith, I have another that sustains me and keeps me steady and sailing straight, but I always like to stop and consider where faiths overlap and share important, or not so important things in common.

    I am at home with my small family, grateful for the company of these kooky people who share many of my interests so we can all find some entertainment together. (mostly games, movies, some art projects) I am busy reminding myself to be grateful when our space seems to constrict and annoyances appear to swell. I remind myself to be kind, as the gods are often kind to us. We will get through this, as a world community, if we all remember to be kind.

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    1. Hi friend! oh my gosh thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement! you’re so right – kindness is so important right now, and always! And amen – it’s a beautiful thing to build bridges 🙂 love that – thank you for your heart. stay well! thinking of you and your family during this time!! Hugs and love xox

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  15. Yes, the name Emmanuel, God with us, has been standing out these days for me because it is the very mindset we need to embrace. That no matter how it looks or feels, we must remember who He is and what He has already done. Faith in Jesus is a gift, repentance is a gift, knowing the name of Jesus is a gift…I’m understanding that more myself. Thank you for sharing your heart. God is with you and He is holding your hand. As we draw near to God, He draws near to us but His presence never leaves us because we are His. Prayers going up! God bless you and your family. 🙏 ❤

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  16. Just remind yourself that what you are feeling is what many of us feel. I miss my kids so much, but the sacrifice is worth it and yes God will guide us through this. Try some new recipes, we need them 🙂

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    1. Thank you Alice – I’m sorry you miss your kids 😦 amen to that – He will guide us through! Hugs and love xox

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  17. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. As someone that also deals with a disorder (PTSD), I feel like others tend to overlook more strain it puts on people like us. I’m also a firm believer in Christ and although I am all the way in Alabama, I’m here for you! Great post!

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    1. Thank you friend for your kindness!! Right back atcha! We’ll get through this! 🙂 hang in there friend!! Hugs and love xox

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  18. Thanks again for another heartfelt post. I miss human interaction so much – the physical kind. The zoom/FaceTime is nice, but just not the same. I used to love going to the grocery store, and that has changed. No one looks at each other anymore and its like we are all afraid of each other by keeping our distance. I can’t help but wonder what it will be like when “life resumes”. Praying for you during this challenging time of quarantine.

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    1. Thank you for your prayers Lisa 💛 know that you’re in mine too! You’re right – the changes in people’s interactions makes me so sad 😦 hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful response 🥰 amen – He is our strength! Hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

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  20. I just wanted to say, you are an inspiration to the whole world with your gut level feelings put out there as you share your heart. You inspire us to look deeper, examine where we are and to really see things for how they are. This will be over, eventually, and we’ll have have a newer way of looking at life and those around us. Continue to be honest with Who’s you are and yourself. Your posts are probably a life line for some. Take heart and enjoy the silence, because He Who Created All Things is very deep in the silence.

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    1. thank you so much Steven, gosh what a kind response! i am so touched ! amen – we are going to gain a beautiful new perspective from this!! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Thanks for your honesty. Loneliness and the loss of touch have been really hard in all of this. I identified with what you said. Thanks again.

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    1. thank you Jim!! you’re right, i think we’re all collectively feeling this to some degree. hang in there dear friend. Hugs and love xox

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  22. The church Jesus started had huge emphasis of “Fellowship”. God always seems to be right. I love what you’re writing. Hang in there. Writers always write best when the feelings are strong. I wrote something political today, which is something I don’t usually do. It’s entitled “Trump is not Jesus”. You might like it.

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    1. thank you so much friend – youre right – fellowship, we’re seeing, is incredibly important! thanks for your encouragement!! Hugs and love xox

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  23. Thankfully I don’t live on my own but your post connected me with them feelings that i have felt at other times in my life. Its not easy, you need to be strong mentally and even then it can be difficult.

    Do you at least have a baloney that you can connect with others.

    When this first happened one of the pluses that helped me through that time was the amount of music, art etc that would could from this time, but as the weeks roll on, I find that just getting through this time will take all our efforts.

    Its not easy time off, its time on, dealing with loneliness in your case, then on the flip of that personality clashes with those that you live with. As everyone is stress and anxious and it does spill over from time to time.

    I wish you all the best, keep writing, maybe doing a vlog miss help you through, just some thoughts and feelings.

    🙂

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    1. thank you so much for your encouraging words! i don’t have a balcony, but every day at 7pm when the city cheers for the health workers, i always stick my head out the window and cheer:) hehe and yes – music is so so so important! hang in there!! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Yeah the sense of community this is building is one of the most positive things to come out of this. Now, no matter where you are in the world you can start a conversation with everyone you meet, which in turn will take us closer together. 🙂

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      2. i agree! amen!! it’s one of the beautiful outcomes, a silver lining – of all of this

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  24. We all will go through a period of loneliness during this quarantine, especially those of us who live alone. When I was a kid, even in a household of 7, there were more quiet times. There was only one phone in the house, a handful of tv stations that Dad controlled, and no internet. The world was quieter. But we now are used to being bombarded with stimulation. Quiet time forces us to think, ponder, pray, and just be. This brief interlude can lead to more introspection.

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    1. Hi Mary, thank you so much for this kind response. you’re so right – this is such a surreal time to embrace the quiet and distance ourselves from all the stimulation. Technology can be exhausting!!! And amen! i pray that we all can grow closer to Him during this season of introspection. Hang in there!! Hugs and love xox

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  26. Looking at the world right now, its like someone heard the Backstreet Boy song – “Show me the meaning of being lonely” and said.. OK, here… Have some Corona.
    I think that was a meme on Facebook about it.
    I laughed when I first saw it and then when I read this.. it all came back to how true it is…

    I’m working on lock-down post of my own, Caralyn. I’ll send you a link when I’ve published it. Basically querying the idea of getting back to normal and after being through what we have, would we really want it?

    As for loneliness, I’ve been alone all my life Care. You can feel loneliness even in a rush crowd. I know.. I’m sometimes at home with my family and I still feel all alone inside.. I know. It felt even worse on holidays… I’m currently stuck at home with my family and still, I feel it sometimes. It’s like I need a connection deeper than what I had with those around me.
    And you know.. maybe one day I will a strong connection with someone special, but I began to realize that if I was to have that I need to find a way to be whole by myself and that ability only comes from a relationship with Christ.
    I have learned to find a way to enjoy being alone. When loneliness creeps in, I just put on a song that helped me through hard times and remind myself where my strength comes from..
    In those moments… well… I’ll allow Mr. Kelly to say it…

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    1. hahha on my gosh i cracked up at your Backstreet Boys throwback! AND SO TRUE!!! But for real, thank you for sharing your heart. I’m sorry you can relate so personally. And amen – a relationship with Christ is that balm to our soul. What a powerful lesson we’re coming to find during this quarantine. can’t wait to listen to this song – thanks for passing it along 🙂 hang in there dear friend! praying for you and your family! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Its safe to say that this world will never be the same after this quarantine – neither will we. We will come out of this different than when we went in. It depends on us. Are we willing to listen to the voice of God and allow him to teach us..?
        There is always something God has to teach us – about Himself, about us, about our world… We just have to keep our hearts and minds open.

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      2. you’re right about that – we will all come out of this changed – and i pray that those positive changes stick!! 🙂 amen! He’s always teaching!

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  27. Hi there, Thanks for sharing about your home and life. You’ve come a long way and you are prospering since I last read your blog. Congratulations! Don’t fear. You are hiding under the shadow of The Lord’s wings.

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      1. Hello again,
        Congratulations on your progress and confidence in blogging.
        I read one of your recent blogs about George Floyd. You mentioned the importance of remembering his name.
        This inspired my blog which I published this morning,
        You also went on to say it is important to tell one’s story. Well I have written a book last year. My husband who is an experienced writer is helping me finish it. My book tells how God helped me through early years of my married life and having children.
        Your words today encouraged me to get the book finished.
        Thank you so much and God bless you. Angela
        Ps I don’t know your name.

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      2. thank you so much, Angela! I’m so glad that piece resonated with you. Congrats on writing your book! that is very exciting! glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox – Caralyn 🙂

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  28. Oh my friend!! You are not alone in this feeling in fact, it’s what makes you human with that big beautiful heart of yours. There are many many times throughout my own day where I remind myself that even though I feel alone in my mind that I never never truly alone because I have God to talk with. You and I both love people and human interaction is what we are built for biologically! I forced myself to go to the grocery store on Saturday and when I came home I cried. The feeling of others recoiling from me from fear was so overwhelming. The expectations I usually have for friendliness and small talk were no where to be found in our current environment. I’m here to tell you, as the highly sensitive person and empath that I am, when you’re feeling – you’re healing! Let those feelings flow through your body, accept them and embrace them for they are what make you the beauriful human being you are. Sending you lots of love with a big virtual hug ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for your incredibly kind words! And wow i love what you said – when you’re feeling you’re healing. So powerful!! Stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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      1. My pleasure my friend😊 From one woman who survived self inflicted pain and trauma to another survivor I often remind myself to lean into my feelings because I learned from a young age to dissociate from them in an attempt to keep myself safe. That was a very maladaptive approach that hurt me further and wreaked havoc upon my life. It’s a sign of strength to feel not to act like you don’t. Feelings are what makes us human. Lean in sister, lean in❤
        Btw…I wanted to like your reply but my app here on my cell is acting up😉 probably because you have so many wonderful comments ❤🙏

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  29. A beautiful post 💚 we are truly not alone~thank you for sharing. I believe it’s something in which everyone can relate. Interestingly, I’m an introvert; but I was a “forced” extrovert in my career. It’s hard to embrace uncertainty. And I’m so thankful that our Heavenly Papa is with us every step of the way. I’m praying for your health and well-being. Keep up the wonderful work of being a light in this world.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words K! Amen – we’re never alone! Stay well!! Hugs and love xox

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  31. Thank you for your post reminding us that if we know Jesus we can never be alone.

    It is funny how this time of isolation refines priorities. Relationships = important; job title = not important; sharing life with others = important; accumulation of material possessions = not important, believing in more than human wisdom= important, knowing the most facts = not important.

    To me this slow down of activities and loss of face to face time with friends and family has been hard, but it has shown me again that I am not in control of my life. My need to depend on God through this time has been liberating.

    I am praying that the next time those Manhattan walls encase you Our Lord will make surround you with His love and comfort easing the loneliness.God bless you in every way.

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    1. Thank you so much for your prayers and kindness my friend. You’re so so right – it redefines our priorities for sure! What a powerful perspective. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Aw SR, you are just the greatest, thank you my friend. Today was actually an exceptional day. 🙂 I spent the afternoon in Central Park and my heart is so full. 🙂 thank you for checking in. You’re a great friend. How are *you doing today??

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  33. You are definitely not alone in feeling this way! It’s in these times of uncertainty that I turn to my faith in God and trust he is with us. Thanks for sharing 🙂

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    1. Hi Rachel, thank you so much for your kind words! Amen to that! He is with us, and that is such a comforting truth! Big hugs to you xox

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  35. Here in Minnesota, we haven’t been as isolated for as long, and I already worry as much about the spiritual and mental health impacts of this outbreak as the virus itself. Let’s not “get back to normal” — let’s make our resurrection just as glorious as His.

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    1. Thank you so much J! I’m right there with ya – those implications will be monumental. Amen! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much Becca, I’m glad this resonated with you. Hang in there friend! We will get throug this! Hugs and love xox

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  37. Good evening, my dear. Your raw & honest post touched my heart. I must admit that I have to be very careful about my news intake re: the virus as it can really bring me down. Your post was a powerful reminder of who is truly in charge. Thank you. Back home, we pray for you every morning. Keep the faith! It won’t last forever… 😘 xo

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    1. Then you so much mary. I’m so glad it hit home with you!! You’re right- the news can really be a source of negativity and fear. Thank you so much for your prayers! Know that you’re in mine too! Stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  38. I hear you Caralyn! And yes, “Emmanuel” God with us is our only true hope during these lonely, uncertain times. I shared your blog post on my FB women’s group-Simply Balanced-Grace For The Religious Heart. I know I’ll be inspiring to many women. Much Love from Miami❤️

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    1. thank you friend! amen to that! He is our hope! stay well! And gosh, i am humbled that you would pass this on! thank you!!! Hugs and love xox

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  39. I just realized after seeking you out on your YouTube channel…you haven’t been recording your quarantine experience there-you should. You’re a natural on camera, very expressive, beautiful , and would be a greater source of encouragement to your followers. Come on girl go for it! You’re not doing acting gigs right now. Youtube might grant you a successful acting career in inspirational Christian films. 😉 Just a thought!

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    1. Oh gosh, thank you for saying that 🙂 Perhaps I will do that for Thursday’s blog! that’s a great idea. i had been hesitant to do so, thinking it would just add to people’s “clutter” or “noise” — this was just the nudge of encouragement I needed, so thank you! hugs!

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  40. I think the quarantine and dangers associated with the virus are so much harder for younger people. Seniors and people with chronic health conditions face a higher risk, and have also needed to address their own mortality. With most of us this, prior to the virus. So, what you’re feeling is a normal response. You also live by yourself, in New York, where the virus has been devastating for every age group. You’ve watched it play out in the media and your own neighborhood. Especially the truck with those who have died – which would be overwhelming for anyone to see. To some degree, were all in emotional overload. Just be gentle with yourself. There are also signs of hope that the pandemic and quarantine will end. Sending hugs and love! ♥️

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    1. Sorry I digressed so much. I’ve been reading your posts, and my heart aches for you, living on your own, in New York, and seeing the devastation that is taking place. Normally, people comfort one another during traumatic events, giving hugs and face to face words of encouragement. Like, the way they did after 911. But, the isolation makes it so much harder. So, I think what we’re also missing is that level of comfort and support that only come from real human contact. There’s also only so much we can do to compensate for the feelings that isolation produces. I’m a native New Yorker, and people personal – and really understand what you’re saying about missing the pulse of the city. It’s also so nice to see how much you love New York. ♥️

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      1. not at all! i really appreciate your reflection!! thank you!!you’re right – the isolation is incredibly difficult.

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    2. hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this. Amen to that – i’m seeing those signs of hope too, and they are incredibly uplifting — just like your wonderfully kind words. so thank you 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  41. Excellent words–and so true! And you’re exactly right when you give this thing it’s real name: grief! And, yes, our Savior, the Source of all joy, is acquainted with such and completely understands!

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  42. The longer this goes, the more we end up inside our own heads to play, and there is nothing good in there to play with. When things start going sideways, it is always good to reach out to someone else. Your mother or father perhaps? Talk to them about positive things and your outlook will turn positive. For times between calls and facetime or whatever, it is always good to ask the Lord for a little pickmeup and things brighten up quick.

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    1. you’re right about that – thank you for this great encouragement! reaching out to othres is so smart! Hugs and love xox

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  43. This was hard to read. One: The pain you felt—the loneliness—shouldn’t be inflicted on anyone. Two: Because I cannot relate.
    I have always enjoyed limited isolation. People bother me, specifically, the ‘stupid’ they do to each other. So, I don’t mind being left alone for extended periods.
    That aside, I have my wife and two of my children nearby (and a grandchild with his parents right around the corner). Because of the wide open area we live in, there is still some interaction. There are some COVID-19 cases in the neighboring cities and one in my town. But I still get to be near my family. (I’m not trying to rub it in)
    I am truly sorry for your isolation. I am glad that you know that God knows you and your pain. Take comfort in Him. The one that loves you for who you are. The one that knows your pain and sorrow and knows you are strong enough to overcome.
    I know you can do this, and you will. Remember Him in your prayers and He will pour down blessings upon you in ways you can yet to understand.
    God bless.

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    1. Thank you so much William for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m glad you’re able to be near your family!! Amen to that – take comfort in Him – love that 🙂 stay well! Hugs and love xox

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  44. What a sad feeling you shared with us today, and experts tell us one of the equal dangers with the virus is our mental capacity to handle isolation. We were created to touch and interact not to sit in solitude and while the internet helps it does not substitute. I can remember overpowering loneliness in Asia surrounded by millions in my travels but inadequately prepared to communicate in all the places I needed to go and fearful of the unknown. It can seriously affect your health if you let it. I wonder if God allows us to experience this sometimes in order for us to fully understand how Jesus God felt separated physically from the warm embrace in heaven in order to come to this hostile earth to understand us so He could be our righteous understanding judge? Even His chosen disciples didn’t know how to relate to him and were a disappointment. Hang in there! You are too precious to let this get you down after fighting for your life and succeeding years ago. 🙂

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    1. Hi Ian, thank you for your kindness, my friend. You’re right – the mental and social challenges are definitely real. That’s a really powerful question you ask there. I’ll definitely be pondering that. thanks for stoppin gby! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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    1. I’m sorry, Avalon – that hurts my heart. You’re no outcast here 🙂 i count you as my friend!! 🙂 hang in there! Hugs and love xox

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      1. It was a spell that people didn’t talk to me anymore. I lost health, job, friends, family only my wife stayed, but her family secret was between us. I spoiled her, although I was nearly dead. But she didn’t leave until I found out the cause of ovarian cancer. Ones she accepted it, she left. Teenage pregnancy. It’s also a spell to control women with secrets. Besides it is natural behavior for mammals. But,..

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      2. You helped, subconsciously. The GEISHA demon, eldest no 78,prince charles, camilla took her. 8 years ago, exactly, my wife claimed to have cheated on me. A forced liar (tooth gap in the front) she was with nearly no personal will. A drone and demon.

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      4. But, you don’t have to be sorry. Or is there something you want to tell us. You know the series The Legend of the Seeker? He had something I did not have. Help!

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      7. God did control ir punish. Serina Williams, aka Pandora, is the head of that monster. It is God vs. Men. Aliens vs. Predator.

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  46. Caralyn, I have been praying for you every chance I get. All that death certainly can’t help.
    At the same time, I am wonderously amazed at your willingness to send out encouraging messages, whether they be uplifting, or being honest enough to drag your readers with you, so that they know what you are experiencing. That is a great and needed thing, considering the news fightf so much, there is room for what New Yorkers are going through. Please know you are not alone. Your messages still uplift just by showing that your source of hope is still our Jesus! ❤
    The monkeys give a smile too. 🙂
    I know you are award free, but I still wanted to thank you as I have nominated you for the Fix Her Crown Award.
    Please don’t feel obligated to participate.
    I just want to recognize your uplifting encouragements.
    May the Lord bless you! He loves you!
    https://gaillovesgod.blog/2020/04/16/fix-your-crown-award-6-9-19/

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    1. Hi Gail! oh my gosh you are just the sweet, thank you so much for your prayers and kindness! i am feeling your prayers my friend! know that you are in mine too! I am so encouraged by this. you’re a blessing to me. and gosh – thank you for the nomination! what a sweet honor 🙂 love you dear friend! God bless you! Hugs and love xox

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  47. I had a similar experience last week. It’s so wonderful to know that God is with us, all the time. And all we have to do is remember that and we can feel our hearts start to instantly heal. I’m lucky – I’m an introvert and the lockdown has barely affected my lifestyle. But I do sympathise with extroverts such as yourself who are finding these times difficult. Thank you as always for your wonderful writing and heartfelt honesty. Bye for now 🙂

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    1. Hi Rock, thank you so much for sharing your heart. Amen to that – all the time He is with us. hang in there friend! Hugs and love xox

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  48. Your Post is spot on as always! It’s such trying times for us but then, we have Jesus. He’s with us! So we hold on to His amazing and unfailing love! Thank you for this amazing post!

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    1. oh gosh thank you so much my friend. amen to that – We have Jesus! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Hugs and love right back at ya!! I hope you are doing fine too! Don’t worry, this time too shall pass!! Stay well and safe!! More ink to your writing! 💖💖

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  49. You are so right we are never alone. God is still in control and a constant companion to those who trust in Him. Satan wants us to believe the lie that was told through the priest years ago that the body of Jesus was stolen away by His disciples and so He never really rose on resurrection morning. That is a lie from the pit of hell. He rose and he is ever present in our lives. Be encouraged if you need to cry do it but never forget you are not alone. Tell him back off devil and continue to be the beautiful person you are!!!!!!

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    1. thank you so much friend! Amen to that! He is our constant companion! I really appreciate this beautiful encouragement! amen! stay well! Hugs and love xox

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