Saying Goodbye to my Childhood Home

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

My parents are selling our childhood home. 

Yep. My family has lived in this house for over 34 years. I was born there. We’ve celebrated every Christmas and Thanksgiving around that table. The memories are countless, and the history there, priceless. 

And today, – right now –  I’m on a plane to go say goodbye to the house. 

To be honest, I have been a wreck of emotions since I found out last week. Sadness, nostalgia, a little disappointment. 

The thing I was struggling with most was that I felt like I would no longer have a place to call home.

But the thing that I’ve come to realize, is that it’s not the house that makes the home, but rather, the people in it. Home is wherever they are. 

And to be honest, I’m a bit ashamed of my initial, knee jerk reaction to learning the news.  I was looking from a selfish place: a self-concerned, how-does-this-effect-me-mindset, when the fact is, that’s not my place. 

This is going to be a wonderful new adventure for my parents. They’re moving to a beautiful house right down the street from my brother and his family, into a charming neighborhood with sidewalks and destinations to walk and be active. 

I’m thrilled for them, and this will be an exciting new chapter for our entire family – myself included. 

And to be honest, though right now, in my mind, I’m only remembering the good times, the fact is, for the seasons after my anorexia and ulcerative colitis flares, I was begging my parents to move. The pain associated with specific places in the house and the horrifically dark memories attached to it, I wanted to get as far away from as possible.

Ulcerative Colitis flare: 2010

I mean, to this day, when I visit I sleep in my brother’s old room, because I feel spiritually attacked when I’m in my old bedroom: the place where my eating disorder took hold of my heart, body, mind and soul those 13 years ago. 

So, for the amount of joy, there is also a lot of pain written in those walls. I’m just in a place now where, I’ve put those dark memories to bed, and am living in the light, and only remembering as such. 

This coming week, I’m going to have to go through all of my old things – everything from saved baby clothes, to scrapbooks, to boxes and boxes of memorabilia from all the shows I was in growing up, to things from the seasons of life where I was battling anorexia and ulcerative colitis. 

Me and my papa 🙂

It’s going to be an emotional, emotional task, and I humbly ask for your prayers. 

What I’ve been hit with the most, as I’ve come to peace with this news, is gratitude. 

Because the truth is, despite the seasons of pain, I am deeply blessed to have an incredibly loving and supportive family. And to have come from such a stable home. Those are life changing blessings that sadly not everyone has access to. 

So yes, I can feel sad for a minute to say goodbye to the house that provided that beautiful childhood, but the fact of the matter is that, I should instead, be brimming with thankfulness for the life the people in it provided for me. 

That is something that I cannot and will not ever take for granted. 

So it’s now time to put my tray table up, and make the last drive home from the airport. 

I love you, friends. Have a beautiful Monday. 

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

139 thoughts on “Saying Goodbye to my Childhood Home”

  1. What a beautiful home! It’s definitely sad to say goodbye because it feels you’re saying goodbye to everything that came with the house including all the memories. I moved out of my childhood home that I’ve lived in for 16 years and it was really hard so I can’t imagine how much harder this is for you💗

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    1. thank you so much Jaimie! you’re right, goodbyes are hard, but I am definitely excited for a new hello too 🙂 thank you for sharing that! Hugs and love xox

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  2. How exciting for your parents! But I can relate to what you are feeling. I only knew one house my entire childhood (we moved there when I was 2). So when my parents down-sized and moved it was hard to say goodbye to that house. One thing that helped me was I left a note in one of the kitchen drawers for the future residents. It made for good closure for me. Enjoy going through the memorabilia as you help them pack. Blessings!

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    1. thank you Lisa! Yes, goodbyes are always hard. Aw, i love that idea about the note. I am definitely going to do that! Hugs and love xox

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  3. You are blessed to have these memories. My folks moved around constantly. In 12 years of school I went to 10 different school. I was in 3 different schools in sixth grade. I will pray for you as you say goodbye.

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    1. thank you so much friend 🙂 oh wow, it sounds like you definitely became good at making friends and adapting to new environments. thanks for sharing that. and thank you for your prayers. Hugs and love xox

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  4. Aw, I’ve been just where you are and I know just how you feel. I stopped right now and prayed for you. I hope you’re having a sweet time this week, hard though it will be. And you’re completely right – home is where your people…your family…is. Blessings and peace be yours, Caralyn.

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    1. Thank you Patty for your prayers, I truly appreciate that! yes – a sweet time indeed. And yes! home is family 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much, your encouraging words truly mean so much. You’re right – He’s got me! hugs xo

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  7. I know how hard that can be! I watched my girls have the same reaction when we left our home in Illinois to move to Colorado.. but the heart work that comes with it is good too. New things for both your parents and you in life to come – and the beauty and provision of God in all of it. Hope you have a blessed time as that chapter of your life is taking a new turn!

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  8. I felt the same way about daddy’s place even though I never grew up in that home. It was, however on land that had been in our family for generations. Grandpa’s old log cabin, where he was born had sat on that land. Thankfully a friend of mine, took that apart, numbering the pieces then restored it on her property, but none the less, it was our history. Yet, there was a lot of bitterness and battles over it, so we let it go and never went back. So, you’ll have those moments both good and painful, but these too will pass. You have a good attitude about it.

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    1. thank you for sharing your story and your heart on this, Jo. Gosh – what beautiful history. You’re right – they will pass, and those memories will stay in my heart forever 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  9. True…Our home has been standing for at least 40 years and some times it feels quite jealous actually when we ( actually I ) see other houses but then all the memories anf good times just hit and results a smile on the face…
    A home is a place very hard to say good bye too….
    Well, loved the content!

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  11. 6 years ago my Cuppycake and I down-sized & moved, as your own parents are doing, and in similar fashion our adult children took the news very hard! Our eldest son even called the realtor to inquire how to “stop the sale from happening.” 😂 Our daughter dreamed of walking down the staircase on her wedding day before being ushered into a car for her drive to Church and they all desired to bring our (future) grandchild to hike on our 17 acre trails surrounding our home. But, as you said so perfectly….it’s the people who make the “home” so cherish-able & eventually they came to understand living in the home without them was far too “sad” for us to do any longer. The house was missing its own “heartbeat” without an active family dwelling there any longer and we were becoming over-whelmed by all the house continued to require. Fast-forward 6 years now and we have been building just as wonderful memories in our new “living space” and I know you & your own family shall do the same! ❤️

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    1. Oh my goodness, i definitely can relate to your oldest son! There was absolutely a moment when I wondered if I could do the same! hahah Thank you for sharing that. You’re right – it’s the people. That’s what i’ve come to peace with. I’m so glad you all have made your new space home – that is so beautiful. and it gives me great hope! so thank you!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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