Do you know how loved you are?
Now, before you hit the snooze button, just hear me out.
I always shy away from writing posts like these, because in all honesty, I feel like they’re usually suuuuuper cheesy, but sometimes, you just need to hear it.
And tonight, for me, I do.
I find that so often, I hide from God. Which is silly, because I literally can’t not be in His sight. But I try. I try to hide and cower away.
Why? Because of shame.
Shame makes you hide yourself because of something that you’ve done.
My past is rampant with things that I am not proud of. Things that I’ve done or said to myself and my loved ones that are hurtful and have caused pain.
And even though I know that I am forgiven of those things, I still am haunted by that baggage of guilt, and its carry-on companion, shame. (see what I did there??) 🙂
But anyways, it is because of that shame that I try to hide from God. Why? Because I feel I am unworthy of His love because of those things I did in my past.
But here’s what I need to remember.
All God wants to do is love me. All He wants to do is love you.
I think a lot of times, we feel that God is like our high school principal. Like, He is some kill-joy that has it “out for you.” Like He’s hiding around the corner, just waiting for you to screw up in the lunch room, so He can discipline you and send you to detention. Or that He’ll shut down all the weekend parties, and if and when He catches you, not only will you be punished, but you’ll have to rat out all your friends. Sometimes, God can get painted in that light.
But it couldn’t be farther from the truth.
God is not out to get you. He isn’t waiting for you to mess up so that He can punish you and expel you from school.
All He wants to do is love you.
There is nothing that you could do or say that could make Him not love you. Those things that you and I feel shameful about, He wants to free you from them.
Those things in our past, when we hold onto them and use them as a reason to hide from God, all we are doing is preventing ourselves from feeling His overwhelming love.
Here’s the truth of the matter:
So you F’d up royally. I know I did – I do – I have right now.
He forgives you.
And you know what else?
He loves you anyway.
You are His daughter. His child. His precious possession. He made you for crying out loud.
Can you imagine how frustrated He must be when we put our shame in the way of His love? He’s like, “Come on, just let me love you! I forgave you of that already! Just let it go, for Pete’s sake!”
He is seeking you. He is longing to love you.
You just have to let Him. Let go of the shame that is creating a barricade to your heart. The things in the past that are causing the shame, were they hurtful? Yes. Ask for forgiveness. He will forgive you if you ask for it. Then once you are forgiven – let that shit go.
Recovery is hard. Really hard. Believe me, I get it. I get that you have days where you are just racked with so much shame about this or that, or you’re crippled with fear and anxiety, or you’re just overwhelmed with self-doubt or self-hatred, or you just feel defeated — utterly defeated that there’s no way you’ll ever be able to make it through the day. Those days are real and sometimes all you long for is a hug. For someone to just get it. And for someone to meet you in your brokenness and love you.
Jesus is that person. That’s all He wants to do.
He just wants to hug you. He wants to love you. He wants to look into your eyes and tell you that everything is going to be okay. He wants to heal that brokenness and to strengthen you to get through those tough days so that you can reclaim your life and be free of the shame and the oppression of ED. Why? Because He loves you more than words can express.
He is calling after you.
Come out from your hiding.
Let Him love you.
15 responses to “All He Wants to Do”
this was beautiful. I havent been as active in my religious life once my eating disorder developed and even through recovery. I need to realize that God forgives me and loves me
Thank you Em. Yes, He definitely loves you and absolutely forgives you 🙂 love ya babe xox
That’s exactly where I am…
Beautiful text.. If it was that easy… I am still strivin for it… But it’s so damn hard to accept such a love…
Wish you all the best!! Stay strong ❤️
Thank you love. I know, this is such a hard thing to accept. But it is so true. For me, it was just continually listening to the message, and little did I know, but it was slowly chipping and chipping away at the walls around my heart until one day it just broke. Hang in there love. You will get there one day. I’m still journeying too. Always a journey. You got this babe xx
Thank you so much <3
Very well said… Lord bless you.
Thank you so much, I appreciate that xx Glad you stopped by!
Thank you so much 😘
Thank you for reminding me that God loves us even in our shame. It reminds me of 1 John 4:18 where is says, “perfect love casts out fear (punishment/shame), because fear involves torment.”
Thanks for sharing that verse. I absolutely love it. Glad you stopped by xx
This was precious, honest and filled with a real heart desiring to honor The Real God. Inspiring and refreshing. Praise God you told the Truth. It is a stand. So few people are taking a stand for Jesus these days. Thank you for elevating the presence of Christ!
Thank you so much:) I appreciate that. It is in Him that I find my strength for recovery and just for life! God is so good! Thanks for your kind words! Blessings to you friend!! ❤️
Thank you. I am just starting out on the road to find my faith. I think that I am scared of what God’s light might reveal and I’m not sure I want to see that just yet. I need to remember that whatever is found, it’s OK by God!
You’re so right. It’s hard to believe but He really only wants *good* for you. It’s so crazy to think about but it’s the honest to goodness truth. I’ll definitely send up some prayers for you as you begin your journey. Thanks for stopping by xx