A Reflection on 5000

Posted on by beautybeyondbones


There’s an elephant in the room…

…and it’s YOU! All 5,000 of you!

Yes, I recently hit 5,000 subscribers.

And I just wanted to express my sincere gratitude to all of you for taking time out of your day to come read my posts and check out my silly little quote art pictures.

Thank you.

You know, it’s funny. Because when I started this blog, I was never doing it for “the numbers.” I literally just wanted to share my experience, with the prayer that even one person who is struggling with an eating disorder, or the loved one of someone struggling, might find hope and encouragement here. One person. That was all I was hoping for.

So it absolutely humbles me that you would care to read my words.

So, thank you 🙂

When I think about the number 5,000….the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000 comes to mind.

Now, if you have never heard it, quick recap: (Matthew 14) Jesus was being followed by a crowd of 5,000 people. At the end of the day, they became hungry (duh) but all anyone had was 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. So Jesus said, “Bring them here to me.” So then He took the food, “gave thanks and broke the loaves.” Then Jesus goes, Yo, pass it around.  So the disciples gave the food to the 5,000 people. “They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up 12 basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about 5,000 men.”

It was a miracle




Now, I’m going to say something, and I don’t want it to be taken the wrong way. I mean, I seriously hope not. Here’s what I’m not saying: a) I am in no way saying that I am like Jesus. And b) I’m not suggesting that I am “feeding” 5,000 people with some groundbreaking spiritual/emotional “food.” Uuuh, no.

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So with that out on the table, I continue.

The story of the Feeding of the 5,000 does make me think about this blog. But for a different reason.

Jesus fed all those people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. AKA: next to nothing. 

He miraculously multiplied it.

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I’m going to be really honest here for a minute: most days, I feel unworthy of publishing posts, feeling that my words aren’t enough – that I’m wasting your time, or that what I have to say really doesn’t matter. Who cares? You’re a joke, anyways.

But this story gives me so much hope.

Because Jesus takes what little there was, and makes it enough.

 
 

Most days, I think to myself, what could I possibly have to say? I’m a twenty-something, single girl, who is a measly actor/nanny with a veryyyyy questionable background … I mean, I allowed myself to waste away to literally death’s doorstep….sooo what could I possibly have to say that is worth even a teensy bit?

But God takes that miniscule bit I have to offer, and makes it enough.

And He does for you, too

It doesn’t have to be to a blog. It can be in any facet of life.

Sometimes it’s needing the strength to make it through a particularly stressful day. Or getting up the courage to have a conversation that is difficult but necessary. Or that thread that your relationship is holding on by – God takes all those things and makes them enough.

But we’ve got to give Him what we have to offer. “Bring them here to Me.” Because then what does He do? He blesses and breaks it.

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One of the comments I get quite often is about how “vulnerable” I am on here. And first of all, thank you for taking the time to comment. But I can honestly say, that that vulnerability is not my doing. It is Jesus breaking me. It is Jesus taking what I have to offer – my history of anorexia and my journey to recovery – and pouring His light through those wounds so that not only can I heal, but also potentially someone else, too.

It is Him.

He makes it enough. He takes the pathetic offering I have to give, and works a miracle.

Those people that day, they weren’t eating the original 5 loaves and 2 fish, but the miraculous bread and fish – the food that He created. That He miraculously produced. Yes, it came from the original 5L/2F, but it was actually His loaves and fishes they were chowing down on.

I can just imagine the disciples that day, before the miracle, taking an inventory of what they had to give to Jesus. Like, Uuuh….there are like 5,000 people here, and we’ve got….uhhh….5 loaves and 2 fish. *Nervous laugh* 

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I mean, I would be embarrassed to even bring them to Him as an offering. I’d expect Jesus to scoff and be like, Are you kidding me? You expect me to work with THIS?

And how many times have I thought that about my own life? But He never does. He doesn’t roll His eyes or turn me away. He goes, Okay. I can work with this. Let’s do this.

And He does.

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He can work miracles. Even with just a couple of stinky fish and stale bread.

So what more can He do with you and I?

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

196 thoughts on “A Reflection on 5000”

      3. Congratulations on your 5,000 subscribers that is amazing! And I love the analogy of the loaves and the fish. I’m going through a slight crisis of faith at the moment, due to being exposed to a lot of atheists online, so I’m not sure what my relationship to God and Jesus is at the moment. But prayer has certainly helped me massively in the past to overcome all my addictions. I’ve had some good news too with my blog – I’m just coming up to 10,000 hits on WordPress and the other website I’ve started posting on. Considering I only started the blog to kill time while I was waiting to hear from agents about my novel I am pretty pleased with this! http://bit.ly/1ER5cLY

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      4. Thank you so much Caroline! Oh congratulations on your news as well! That’s great!!there are definitely a lot of “trolls” out there on the Internet that can shake us up. I will definitely keep you in my heart and prayers. God is good and al He wants is to love us:) thanks for stopping by, friend! Hugs!!!

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  7. Lovely! Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us! It is a post that truly resonates with me. How often I, too, have felt that I’ve no right to speak my thoughts aloud, no voice with which to share. It is a magnificent lie and one that is focused on me being the center of attention. Changing that voice, and putting on that cloak of Christ is exactly what hushes those voices. You have authority, I have authority, based on the truth of who God is and the work of passion He has pursued with. Thank you for being brave and listening carefully to your story!
    Kym

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    1. Hey Kym! Oh thank you so much:) I so appreciate your affirming and encouraging words. Yes, the cloak of Christ is full of comfort and love. And you absolutely have authority to speak your thoughts. I for one would love to hear! Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful week:)

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  8. I am very glad you are blogging! I think you have a lot to offer. One of my daughters struggled with eating when she was around 8. She’s much better now, but I always want to hear how others came through it. I think your experience has made you wise beyond your years. Congrats on the 5,000! Amazing!!

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    1. Aw thank you so much Steph! That really means a lot. I’m glad your daughter has also found freedom and peace with food. It’s a long journey, but I am so grateful for recovery! Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words! Xx

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      1. Those pictures are unique as you are. Your blog is growing because it’s so valuable and you are investing a lot of work in it. I see it like sowing and reaping another spiritual law

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  11. When God speaks, all I can say is AMEN. Thank you for being the Malachi of our time and giving “what you have” . I am blessed by your offering of thanksgiving and praise. And I too am humbled just to be one of the “5000”.

    Jesus tells us, “Feed my lambs” Thank you, again.

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    1. Oh my gosh. Wow. Thank you so much. I am absolutely humbled by your words. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for this incredible affirmation. I’m starting the day off now with a special warmth in my heart and I have you to thank for that:) have a wonderful morning!

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  13. Congratulations on 5,000 followers! And I looked over your post once again and think it is well written. Continue on with your great attitude and generous sharing…sincerity works well!

    ~1440

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      1. You are welcome! Obviously, you are also deserving…it takes a lot of effort to have that many followers. Keep up the good work!

        ~1440

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  14. Your writing is both eloquent and interesting (its VERY hard to find good writers amongst blogs). Please know your words are most definitely worthy of posting.

    I have a couple questions, if you don’t mind:

    How to answer an anorexic friend (not in recovery) when she asks if she looks fat or if she looks like she’s gained weight? She isn’t religious.

    How many women (or men) have anorexia without actually being thin? Can anorexia also be just a mental condition? Some people have super sluggish metabolisms and literally can only maintain a healthy weight (and not be obese by medical definition) by obsessively counting calories (restrictively), and exercising. Is being a slave to these activities a form of anorexia? Or perhaps that would be defined as more of an anxiety disorder? As you’ve described, having a healthy relationship with food and exercise is EXTREMELY difficult!

    Anyways…thank you for sharing such heartfelt and important information regarding this disease. I am certain you will continue to touch and support so many in need. Also thank you for checking out my blog.

    xo

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    1. Hi friend, thank you for this response. It is evident that you want to help others. I think that’s a beautiful thing. In terms of your questions, i truly am not an expert and can only speak from my experience. But I think speaking the truth in love is always important, even around such a delicate issue as this. Because, who knows, your comment — made in love, but true — could be the one thing that gets through to her and saves her life. For me, that was when a family friend simply said, “Look what you’re doing to your father.” That was it. And yes, there is such an illness as exercise induced anorexia where eating is somewhat normal, albeit very restrict, and yet the person “purges” through intense exercise. Thank you for taking an interest in my blog. have a great day.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Suffering from eating disorders my whole life and watching my mother suffer from them as well, it was a cycle I wanted (still want) to break. Am I as bad as I was? No. Am I cured? No. But with Jesus, I do make it day by day. And with your blog it’s helped me know I’m not the only one on this journey. Bless you.

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  17. Congratulations on 5K! You’re writing is truly inspiring and well-thought out. I am neither anorexic or christian, but I find something to take away from your blog each time. Today, I was having the same thought “What could I possibly have to say” “Who cares.” Sharing your words and wisdom here is your gift. Thank You.

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  20. Hey I haven’t been on your page for a while. So much has happened some quite bad but mostly good, my relationship with the Lord is continuing to grow 😁 I hope you are well, I hope your relationship with the Lord is going strong also 😁 I managed to get some Blog post completed which I’m happy about because I haven’t had the strength or the courage to write anything for a long time

    God bless you
    Benjamin

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    1. Hi Benjamin, good to “see” you again! I’m so glad your relationship with the Lord is growing. That’s amazing. ❤️ I look forward to reading your posts. Hope all is well with you. Sending love and prayers 🙂

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      1. Had an amazing week so far, been so busy with Church meetings, I had a difficult start today because of a troubled sleep last night but i’m feeling loads better now I’ve had my prayer time. been able to deal with negative issues so well this week thanks to Gods help
        Hope you are having a great day

        Benjamin

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      2. Isn’t is so incredible how just a few minutes with God in the morning can set your entire on the right track? I’m glad you’ve had a nice week! Hope you sleep better tonight:) hugs!

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      3. yeah that is why I was feeling a bit low because I didn’t get opportunity to do so, and I hope so too, church tomorrow of course, haven’t been since the 3rd January I hope you are having a good day, I have mostly a good day since my time with personal worship, Im assuming its afternoon where you are 😀

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  21. Awesome achievement! And isn’t it awesome what God can do when we are willing to be used?! What a blessing and a testimony!

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  22. I think you are awesome. God has shown me over the past few years, how important it is for us to discern the spirits. People put thoughts in our head usually when we are children because that is when we are most vulnerable. It is when we choose to believe what others say over what God says. I know for years I had a lot of anger and pain because my 15 year old brother raped me when I was 8, 9 years old. I let my anger over that fester in me for years. Then God showed me the way out. No matter what others say about you or me or anyone, it is what God says that matters most. God Bless you.

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    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. It breaks my heart to hear that you went through that as a child. You did not deserve that. You deserved to be protected and loved, especially by someone who is supposed to be a safe space. Know that you are precious and good. I wish I could give you a big hug right now through the screen. What truth you speak: yes, God whispers to us our worth and speaks love gently as salve to our wounds. Sending so much love xx

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  27. He does truly take our broken pieces, all the fragments and produces something that can nourish another, and I have no doubt that the words of your testimony and sharing what you have overcome through Him feeds the souls of many, and it IS beautiful.

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    1. Hi Nina, thank you so much for sharing this. Amen to that – He takes ALL of our broken pieces. what a comfort that is. God is so good 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and for your kind words. big hugs xo

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