See what I did there? Et tu, Brute…Et tu, Beauty? *Air-fives self* 😛
OK, so yeah, the title has to do with Caesar…buuut, I kinda feel like it sets the mood for this piece. Because we’re going…latin.
And not, Ricky-Martin-Livin-La-Vida-Loca-Latin, but dead-language, Roman-empire, biblical-times Latin.
Et tu, Brute literally means, “You too, Brutus?” They were Julius Caesar’s last words when he was assassinated by his close friend, Brutus. AKA, betrayal at its finest.
Given that we’re kicking off Easter week, this calls to mind another betrayal.
A betrayal that, in essence, allows the foundation of Christianity to come to fruition. I’m talking about Judas’ betrayal of Jesus.
Two sentence refresher: Judas was the “disciple-gone-bad” who led the soldiers to Jesus and ID’d him with a kiss on the cheek. These soldiers then arrested Jesus, where he was flogged, humiliated, and crucified.
In short, Judas was the ultimate betrayer.
I have to be honest. For years, I carried around so much guilt and shame from the hurt and pain my anorexia caused my loved ones, and myself. It ate away at me.
And for a long time, I identified with Judas.
The low life, scoundrel that sold out Jesus for a small bag of money. The traitor. Back stabber. Scum on the bottom of your shoe. He, in so many words, began the killing of Jesus. He set the crucifixion in motion.
I, for a long time, likened myself to this betrayer. My anorexia was a direct and deliberate assault against the gift entrusted to me: my body. My body: the temple of the Holy Spirit. I was willingly and intentionally starving it, hating it, destroying it. Though not verbally, I was betraying and denying Jesus through my actions — I was worshiping another idol: my body, perfection, pride, self-centeredness.
I very well could have been the one to deliver The Kiss.
I realized this one thing: Jesus on the cross is a sign of love.
Yes, it is reparation for our sins, but it is also the greatest demonstration of love, bar none.
Jesus, on the cross, knew all the crap, all the lies, all the betrayals, all the skeletons that each and every one of us have in our closets. But even knowing that, He chooses to die anyway. He knew about The Kiss and still went to the cross so that it could be forgiven! So that my anorexia could be forgiven.
But I had to claim that. I had to ask for forgiveness, and claim that new life in Christ and His work on the cross.
I decided right then and there that I was no longer dead with Judas the betrayer, but alive thanks to our risen Lord.
I adopted a new identity.
Maybe some of this rings true for you. Maybe there’s something in your past that you just can’t forgive yourself for. Maybe you said something, did something, stole something, looked at something, hurt yourself or another person. Maybe you look in the mirror and that’s all you see.
I did. All I could see when I looked at my reflection were the lies I told, the pain I caused my family and the betrayal of Jesus through the destruction of my body.
Claim your new identity in Christ.
If He could go to the cross to forgive The Kiss, there’s hope for us all.
So, “Et tu, Beauty?” — No. Not anymore. I am no longer the betrayer, but the forgiven. The free.
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