10 Things I’d Say to 15-Year-Old Me

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

You know what I love doing?

Looking back at old pictures from middle school/early high school.

I mean, the fashions, the hair styles, the flip phones, the boys I had crushes on. It is just a blast from the past.

And let’s be real, it wasn’t thaaat long ago. But given every twist and turn my life has taken thus far, it feels like a lot of life has been lived since then.


I developed anorexia when I was 16. And looking back and reflecting on those delicate and formative years, I can see traces of the disease creep in at various points in my adolescence.

I think we all have things on our hearts that -in hindsight- we wish we could say to our former selves. Nuggets of sage wisdom that could have been helpful.

So here’s 10 things I would say, given everything I know now. Things that recovered me would say to a budding young me, on the brink of succumbing to what would be a long battle with ED.


Dear Fifteen-Year-Old Me,

Freshman year can be a pretty scary time. New high school. Older boys. Drivers licenses. Changing bodies. Navigating it can be tough. So here’s a little help…

1. Relationships are important. Invest in the people who know who you really are, and love every quirk and imperfection. At a sleepover, if you can’t wear your retainer or walk around in sweats with them…reevaluate.


2. Mischa Barton from The OC is pretty awesome, but you don’t need a boy to rescue you. And while we’re at it: stop idolizing her body type. You’re not 5’10.” You never will be. And  being waif-thin is not something to gamble your life for.

tumblr_n9pva7ndKK1s3vdbjo2_500.gif

3. Everyone’s bodies change at different paces. No, your body may not look like your voluptuous friend, but that doesn’t make you any less beautiful, or any less worthy of being loved. Just be patient. Bikinis aren’t everything. And being able to fill out a Victoria’s Secret bikini isn’t the “be all, end all.” Nor is having your ribs show.

4. Boys will say a lot of things. Good and bad. But never let that determine how you feel about yourself. Or how you dress. Or wear your hair. Or who you’re friends with.


5. Knowing the dance to High School Musical is great, but that’s not real life. High school is not idealistic, and boys won’t serenade you like Zac Efron. Don’t expect them to.

tumblr_mzsn1kDZD21tq4of6o1_250.gif

6. Don’t dismiss people because they belong to a certain “group.” People are people. And they can surprise you. But you have to give them a chance. And the “cool” table, is full of just people.

7. Just have a damn beer.

tumblr_lzjwmc4n0P1qg6rkio1_500

8. Getting good grades is important, but not at the expense of your mental health. Get a B. You will be okay. Perfection is stupid.

9. Don’t do the beauty pageant. Just don’t do it. There’s more to you than your outer beauty. Being judged by how you look in a bikini is frankly stupid. You are so much more than that. Oh yeah – and stop going to the tanning bed. Like, immediately. Your skin will thank you later.

10. You are enough. Just as you are. You don’t have to be the lead in every school play. You don’t have to play varsity sports. You don’t have to sit at the “cool” table. You don’t have to get straight A’s. You don’t have to wear a size 0. You are enough. Just by being you. You don’t have to earn your worth. Your worth was established when Jesus went to the cross.


11. Let people love you. The real you. You don’t have to put on the air of not caring what other people think. You have feelings and emotions, and that’s important. Honor them. Feel them. Share them. Your heart is a beautiful temple. Protect it, but don’t be afraid to show it.

img_1979

High school is kinda like a big game of poker. Everybody has insecurities. Everybody’s in the same boat, a little bit over their head, just trying to figure it out. And everybody’s trying to put on their best poker face that they’ve got it all together. Spoiler alert: they don’t.


The sooner you realize that you are beautiful just as you are, and that your worth doesn’t come from any of these superficial things, the more abundantly you will live.

Respect and accept your body. Listen to your parents. Stop striving for perfection.

You are enough. Right now.

Love,

Your older and wiser self 😉

________________________________________________________________
Stay Connected!
@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

Please check out my affiliate partners! Doing so helps you, and it helps me 🙂 Amazon, Reebok, NatureBox, Sunbasket, WPengine Webhosting, Warby Parker, Masterclass

patreon

Thank you for considering supporting BBB on Patreon! You make this blog possible 🙂

Published by

Unknown's avatar

beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

298 thoughts on “10 Things I’d Say to 15-Year-Old Me”

      1. I appreciate the truth you spoke. I hope and pray that God would lead hurting young women (and men) to your blog to see how it looks for them later. Keep it up!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Dear Beauty, the things you’ve said in this blog are absolutely perfect. You should seriously consider sharing your travels through life with high school girls and any other groups you think might benefit from your experiences. I know you’ve said more than once that outer beauty is not the bench mark of who you are…it is the inner you that should capture someone’s heart. But let me just say that of the pictures I’ve seen of you, you have been beautifully made by our creator. I feel certain He gets a smile on His face when He thinks about you…which, by the way, is all the time!!!

    Liked by 6 people

    1. Hi Russ. Wow what a wonderfully kind note of encouragement and support. Thank you. Truly. This means so much. I would absolutely love to speak to high school or young college aged girls. I just pray for God to use me in whatever way He wants. Thank you for that affirmation. Hope your week is off to a great start. Hugs and love my friend xox

      Liked by 2 people

  4. 😬😬may I please borrow your title ??! I love it !! I tell you one of my weekly goals I like accomplishing is reading everyone’s blog that I’ve subscribed to and you’re one that I’m trying to read from your beginning to now! You’re awesome:-)

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This is such an amazing post and it speaks to so many issues that not only impact teens but adults as well. We can get so caught up in wanting to be like everyone else that we lose ourselves in the process. I think more stress should be placed on being authentic and embracing our uniqueness.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. Well said, except I would be cautious of encouraging underage drinking as that can be equally as damaging as an eatting disorder. I realize you were more likely going for a “loosen up” attitude. But it too is a slippery slope.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there! You’re right. I in no way am condoning underage drinking. I should have been a little more clear about that. But for me, not the whole striving for perfection – in alllll areas of my life – was the biggest factor that led to my anorexia and eventually getting down to 78 pounds. I look back and something think to myself, jeez if I would have just let my hair down and didn’t try to be perfect and have a beer with my friends, maybe things could have been a lot different. But you’re right. It is a slippery slope and alcohol is not the answer. Thanks for this dialogue. I should have been more clear. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love!

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I knew that was what you meant and you have been given A very unique perspective from personal experiences. A platform you are using to help others. It shows a great heart and love for others. Keep up the great work!

        Liked by 1 person

  18. This is just so beautiful. Life really is about living and learning isn’t it? Older and wiser. I have a 15yo boy who struggles with his own insecurities and feelings of self worth as well, it’s a hard road growing up. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you. xox

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This is a great exercise! I wonder what I would tell my 15-year old self. I would probably say that friendships will come and go and that’s ok. Family is not something you can always depend on, so do not define yourself by them. Be your own person and you will be happier.
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Ellie! Yeah it was kinda fun to go back to that time and think about what I would say. Those are some really wise nuggets of advice. Being your own person is so important. Especially when you’re in high school. It is so easy to jump on the band wagon and forget who you are. So true. Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a fabulous start to the week! Xox hugs and love!

      Like

      3. Actually I am awake to face those anguished memories, instead of becoming a vanquished memory… Still thanks for caring! Good Night to You!

        Liked by 1 person

  26. A beautiful, intelligent and witty post 🙂 All 11 of the things you would say to your 15-year old self is stated with perfection 🙂 As for women who worry whether or not they are going to look pretty in something If they do not have the figure for it, my answer would be this: SHOULD THAT EVEN BE CONSIDERED A PROBLEM? Sorry for the uppercase words, but seriously who cares If one has the figure for something or not, all clothing has different sizes for the item. This is all based on what I have observed from some people I hang around with 🙂 Also as you imply, beauty can come come from the inside as well as the outside. This is a truly wonderful post 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey John! Thank you so much:) you’re right- beauty really does come from the inside and we should let our insecurities get us down. Very very true. Thanks for stopping by! Hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 2 people

  28. What would we have done if someone told us we were enough at 15? Can you imagine how much difference that would truly make! Whoa!
    Another great post Hun. And have a great week. Hopefully it’s filled sunshine.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there friend! Thank you so much:) I hope yours is too! And you’re right — although my parents would tell me that, I just didn’t believe them. But what a difference that would have made if we claimed that truth! 🙂 thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  29. There probably some things that you may need to tell your future older self too. 😊 I remember way back when, when I was 17 and on the gymnastics team and some of the things I could do back then. When I hit about 40 I tried to do a few moves and found I couldn’t come close. I started to grieve about it, then I realized how stupid it was to grieve over something that wasn’t important to do in the last 23 yrs., nor would I probably ever find a reason to do it again. Just because it was important to do it when I was 17, doesn’t mean it will be important later in life. ( Yep, I probably got a few things I could tell my younger self too!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! Thanks for this great perspective. A lottttt of wisdom there. You’re right- there are definitely some things my younger self would tell my current self too! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love — and also– good for you for trying to do those moves! That right there is something to celebrate ☺️☺️☺️

      Like

  30. I have a 12 1/2 year old who is very athletic, hockey and baseball. I love that she eats anything but likes to eat healthier. She is tall and strong. What would you say to her regarding what you know now, or to me in making share I support her. Love your post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jodi! Thanks for this. Hmm, I would just encourage her to keep the healthy relationship with food. I played a lot of sports in high school and the anorexia set in after I quit sports. In my mind I think I equated eating with being fuel for sports. We’d always have “pasta dinners” and “carb up” before games so I think in my mind it was like, okay it’s only okay to eat that way if I was going to run for 2 1/2 hours on the field the next day. So when I stopped exercising for my sports I had this fear that I was going to get fat. But the fact is, food is not just for fueling sports. It’s for living. Fueling the brain. And yes, for enjoyment too! I guess just not placing too much stress on Carbing up or making some foods “good” or “bad.” Thanks again for this question. Sorry if it was a little all over the place. This is something I hadn’t thought about before and really got me thinking. Hugs and lovenxox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She is on the thinner side so I never make comments unless I think she needs to add something healthy. Tonight she had hot Cheetos and a banana, lol. She will eat a lot after the game, not before because hockey is so active. There is so much out there that I think she gets from the media about being perfect. I don’t ever want to say the wrong thing. Though I do believe I spend serious $$$ on her weekly food. 😜

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yeah, you’re right the media is a strong force 😬 It sounds like you’re a great mom. I guess just keep building her up and reminding her where her truth worth comes from. And that the images of women in the magazine are all altered.

        Like

  31. My high school latin teacher pointed out to us that the root of our word perfect, is perfecto which means finished, and that the only time you are finished is when you are dead. She encouraged us to do our best, but to have fun too. Those words at that time in my life were so helpful to empower me be just a bit less rigid.
    I think that these loving words you are sending to your 15 year old self are somehow healing her within you- and maybe healing someone who needs to hear your wise words of advice now.
    namaste iris
    (p.s. thanks for liking some of my posts- it is super encouraging to me in the here and now.)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much, Iris. That really means a lot:) and how interesting about the word perfect! I had no idea but gosh that really makes sense. Sounds like a great teacher:) so glad you stopped by! Sending hugs and love xox

      Like

  32. Oh, the things I would say! The things I would say… One can go mad just trying to come up with a list. How did you keep it down to eleven? I would sit in deep thought and ramble a list a gajillion miles long!

    But you are so right. “You are enough. Right now.” If only more people would believe this about themselves, they would be spared of so much self-hatred and the ensuing torture that accompanies such hatred.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lizzie! I know it was so hard to narrow it down! I completely meant to keep it to 10, but I just had to throw an extra one in there 😂 thanks. Yeah I have to keep reminding myself that one. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey friend. Wow thank you so much. I’m so glad this resonated with you. I’m sorry that we have a history of ED as a common bond, but I’m so glad that we’re on the other side❤️ sending hugs and love. Thanks for sharing this❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  38. Another great post, thank you for sharing! Most teenagers don’t seem to put God in the centre of their lives, which is why some things in high school happen. I’m incredibly blessed and thankful to have parents who raises me with a strong faith in the Lord, and as a teenager I’ve learned to give God the pen to write my story and seek Him first before anything else. Teenagers must read this post and make a difference now that they have the chance. May God bless you! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  43. I guess you don’t know this, but you’re helping this parent prepare for having a son in high school next year. You think you’re writing about your life, but you’re ministering to me, teaching me, reminding me, and helping a 47 year old try to parent his 14 year old (and 11 year old daughter). So. Just in case nobody else appreciates what you’re doing here, I do. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Tony! Thank you my friend:) you’re right- boys need encouragement just as much as young ladies do. Slightly different but you’re right-same overall message. Hope your week is off to a great start! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  45. I like your posts in general, and I like this one as well, but you wouldn’t be who you are today if you hadn’t made all those mistakes throughout your life. Guess what? You will keep making mistakes, maybe not as life-changing, but when you look back they will still appear as “mistakes”.
    What I’ve learned in my short life is that God actually wants you to err. I don’t mean that he leads us into temptation, but that He wants us to understand the nature of sin and all its facets.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Ovtavian! Thank you for this great perspective. I think you’re right. I definitely would NOT be who I am today without what I went through before. It’s like, I’m not grateful per se for that dark period of anorexia in my past, but I AM grateful for the lessons i had to learn the hard way. Thanks for this thought provoking comment. Sending hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  47. A wonderful post. As I read and reflect on your wise words, you’ve said the same thing 10 differently nuanced, yet necessary ways. I say necessary, for our culture, from time before time, proclaims precisely the opposite, trafficking in the power of pretension. Again, a wonderful post. I thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there Paul! Thank you so much for these affirming words. You’re right-society, with all its air brushed models and “envelope pushing” shows and media, does proclaim the opposite. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  49. I relate to this- I developed anorexia at sixteen as well, and looking back is always hard, as there sometimes seems to be too much I could have said.

    I like these points though- and to go off one of your bullets, I know that celebrity you’re referring to, and her character on TV was just that… a character. In real life, she is just as human as the rest of us- and in fact; a lot unhappier, and a lot emptier than most.

    Thanks for writing!

    Liked by 1 person

Join the Conversation!